This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀

Didn’t think the alphabet would make it past ‘A’ (see A is for Antagonism here)? Not to worry, B is here, baby. I had a bit of a hard time choosing the b-word, and I ended up choosing and then rejecting a few possibilities, which is probably why the post took a little longer to get out than I had planned. There are so many good b-words to choose from, and no doubt, they’ll end up being the topics of other posts. For example, b is for bitch (the obvious choice, but I’ve written about this slur before here and here, for example), backlash, butch, breeder, brutality, BDSM, brainwashing (don’t worry, I’ve got a series on this delectable topic coming), bullshit, blow job, bias, and more.

But today, B is for Bisexual.

To be honest, I am not sure why I haven’t written about this before. I did a little triptych on sexuality in the past, and I really should have discussed bisexuality within its confines, rather than just acknowledging it as one of the boxes men put women in when rating our level of humanity and dictating options for our identities. Perhaps the goddess of writing intervened and knew I’d need a topic for my alphabet series. Who the hell knows. Point is, I’m doing it now, so buckle up. But if you want to pause and gear up with some light reading from the sexuality writings, and to get the gist of my perspective, the relevant posts are as follows:

Part I: An introduction to male omnisexuality and why heterosexuality is even a thing at all.

Part II: The sex drive and sexuality – human obsessions and two misunderstood and badly abused concepts. Also a brief consideration of homosexuality, asexuality, and forced sexuality.

Part III: Women and forced sexuality. A discussion of female needs, the fact that nobody acknowledges them and why that is the reason we don’t understand the first thing about female sexuality still to this day.

If you don’t feel like veering off at this point, then I’ll just summarize my foundational thinking as follows:

For women, sexuality as we know it now and have known it throughout time and place, is completely constructed. Constructed by men, and embraced by women through their programming. Constructed female sexuality has mostly been categorical, meaning that women are put into boxes according to what men want to do to us and what they want us to do. Men have constructed ‘rational’ / ‘scientific’ and religious explanations for the boxes they put us in to prevent us from figuring out what we actually are naturally, and to inspire us to hate the few women who reject categorization. In reality, our sexuality, if we have any (the true question), should be based on our own self-defined needs, rather than our anatomy or what men need and want. No woman has ever been able to do this outside the influence of male dominance, so my argument is that we haven’t a clue what natural female sexuality looks like at all. Even lesbians are strongly influenced by hetero programming, and I believe they don’t behave completely naturally either. I’ve discussed what natural means in another post, and my opinion is that if you have to construct an entire, rather brutal system geared towards keeping women in line and servicing men ‘happily’, then heterosexuality in women isn’t natural at all. Nature happens without force, intimidation, or indoctrination. Honestly and truly. So men construct our reality and they construct a system of lies and half-truths to support female hetersexuality as being natural. There is a lot of evidence to the contrary, however, which I’m not going to discuss in this post. I will say I’ve been reading some of the scientific literature that clearly demonstrates that despite how women define themselves, the vast majority have sexual reactions to females (google it yourself). There is plenty of work to be done there – I still think you can program sexual reactions to anything (basic learning theory in action), which is constantly evidenced in the development of weird sexual fetishes, and I’d argue that women are trained from birth to react sexually to males and violence. The sexual reactions to women that scientists see are likely a mix of natural proclivity and the result of a constant bombardment of female sexualization coupled with the modern day rewarding of female compliance with male sexual fantasies.

But let’s get to bisexuality***. If you try to look up this term/category, most human rightsy sexuality web sites will try to turn it into some long, drawn out definition, almost as if trying to set these folks up for some uber-victim status with a little mystery and sexay-ness thrown in for good measure. “Look at us. We are so hard to define. We break all the sexual molds. No one understands us and we suffer from so much prejudice and bigotry. The alphabet soup acronym should START with B, although in public, we’ll say T is most important… Whine, whine, blah, blah, blah, I want to look at tits while I suck this dick, goober goober.” And it’s usually women who are the whiniest about this oppressed bi status, and there is a good and legitimate basis for that (not the whining, but the sex bias), which I’ll get into later. But bisexual people are a perfect example supporting the theory I have that the loudest victims and victim-groups tend to be non-victims or comparative non-victims with a lot of power (economic, legal, etc.) and free time. Other examples of loud non-victims also include male trannies, rich white males, rich black males, males in general, the religious right in any country, etc., etc.

***[And note that I am writing this from the perspective of a woman who for most of her early adult life used the category ‘bisexual’ privately, and sometimes publicly, until I accepted the fact that I’m not sexually attracted to men. I’ve never been ‘heterosexual’, so I can’t understand what that is like. If I am forced to ‘identify’, I use the terms ‘lesbian’ or ‘gay’. I have found that many people, even those who define sexuality very simply in terms of sexual attraction, still can’t resist injecting their definition with political and social implications. I think you can’t get away from that in this world, and as a result, no definition can adequately describe what women likely are born to be, naturally.]

For an easy definition of bisexuality, just think ‘bi’ = two and sex = attraction to. Many seem to include actual sexual engagement in this definition, probably because it is so much easier to offer up as proof of a sexuality. Attraction is hard to measure unless you hook someone up to a machine. So according to today’s definition, bisexuals basically are interested in and get it on with both males and females. There is some talk of ‘pansexuality’, but this is a bullshit made-up liberal term based on the idea that there are more than two sexes – WHICH THERE ARE NOT.

Male Bisexuals

A quick word about bisexual men. Nothing about this surprises me. As I said above, I believe males are born omnisexual, which simply means that men get turned on by and will penetrate anything and everything unless something or someone stops them. The only reason most males (publicly) gravitate towards heterosexual designations is because of 1) woman-hate; 2) innate power and control issues; and 3) servitude/extra perks. First, the idea of ‘taking it’ like a woman (aka being penetrated) is an insult because men hate women, so being gay or bi means you are like a woman and that is unacceptable in all cultures because women are garbage. I’ve unfortunately spent a lot of time with men from different cultures, and I can tell you that even the most adamant of straight males from both liberal and very conservative places are curious about and even obsessed with anal sex, although most will insist that their own buttholes are off limits. I suspect that to most men, for a woman, a hole is a hole is a hole, so a female’s anus and vagina are just things to be filled by men. So they can see see themselves as heterosexual while still engaging in what is seen by the world as a ‘gay’ act.

The second part – power and control – is more complicated. Men like easy victims who won’t fight back or rat them out. Inanimate objects are ideal for male masturbation, but men don’t get the satisfaction of controlling or overpowering say, a sock or a hole in the wall or their kid’s stuffed toys. Animals give the sense of overpowering and control that men like, but they can fight back and hurt their rapist, and as well, men don’t get any servitude from them other than say, a dog fetching slippers. Children, like animals, are easy targets, can give the satisfaction of control and power over them, and while they usually won’t bite or fight like an animal, there is the possibility they might report the assault to a grown-up. And no servitude perks. But women? They make the perfect masturbatory devices for men: raping them allows men to enact their hatred of them upon their bodies and minds; they are controllable and over-powerable physically and mentally; they seldom report rape (and are not believed if they do report); and they are easily programmed from birth to accept slavery as desirable and the way things are supposed to be.

The third element of heterosexual gravitation in men is that women will also provide cleaning services, baby factory services, emotional services, intellectual services and more – all making men’s lives easier and ensuring the greatest possible chance of male success in the world. So while men will screw all of the above in private, there is the most to be gained from publicly proclaiming hetero status. Bisexual men are slightly braver in that they are willing to admit they do men too, but they also get the status that owning a woman allows in all societies. But generally, it isn’t men who whine about bisexual prejudice as men never suffer as much as women, regardless of the bias involved.

Female Bisexuals

I’m going to come out and say this as bluntly as possible, and it will be offensive to some and that is more than perfectly fine. There is no such thing as a truly bisexual woman. Omnisexual men, yes – I’ve explained this already. But I don’t believe women are naturally wired to want men. I believe female heterosexuality is nearly 100% constructed / programmed / conditioned (pick your term). So bisexuality doesn’t make sense either, especially given that pretty much all bisexual women mostly latch on to men (I remember some feminist I read quoted a study that the typical bi-female sexual stable constists primarily of men. And I believe that that is standard hetero brainwashing kicking in rather than anything natural, as materially, there is so much more to gain from being male property than to have an equal relationship with a woman.) I also think there are a few kinds of bisexual women, and I’ll discuss two primary categories.

1. Brainwashed women whose hetero programming didn’t work perfectly

So as was mentioned, most bisexual women have more male partners than female ones, and usually end up having a primary or significant-other relationship with a man. Women are usually ‘side dishes’ that don’t provided the economic, legal, and social perks that relationships with men do, but that provide emotional and sexual satisfaction that is missing from the typical hetero relationship. Bisexual women are, somewhat understandably in our rape culture, generally massive cowards who will hide behind hetero life when it suits them (e.g., to avoid sexual or physical danger, to get jobs, to have a higher standard of living, to appear ‘normal’ in social situations, etc.) and trot it out when they want to look cool or liberal or advanced or open-minded or ‘above’ heteronormativity (even though they are still exceptionally heternormative themselves, ironically). Or just to temporarily satisfy their natural attraction to women.

2. Brainwashed women who use other women to pick up men and get hetero cookies

Bisexual men don’t make out with each other to pick up women, but ‘bisexual’ women often try to pick up men this way. Do you not find this curious? If you are a hetero or bi woman reading this, do a little self-examination at this point. Do you regularly watch gay male porn? Do you regularly masturbate while imagining dudes fucking each other? Do you get off on the idea of inserting yourself into a gay male sex scenario and announcing that your pussy is there and things can actually get started now? If you say yes, you are a liar and are likely being contrary on purpose. Women – hetero, bi or lesbian – do not cream their shorts at the idea of infiltrating a cock party. And gay men aren’t sitting around wishing for some pussy to spice up their sex lives. So why do so many bisexual women feel the need to put on a show for men?

Well, first there is no bisexuality going on there. These are thoroughly programmed hetero women who are just trying to please men in the only way they know how. I wonder to myself whether these women actually enjoy what is going on. I really think that most women don’t fully experience what they are doing or analyze what’s going on. I think most women’s brains are trained to see themselves through men’s eyes.

Oh, in case you are wondering, when I called myself bisexual back in my early ears, I fell into category 1. However, I know I was less successfully brainwashed than the average woman, as I woke up relatively easily, I think, and realized that I hated men on a fundamental and very natural or primal level. The in-depth self examination I had to do in order to deprogram myself was painful and is ongoing. It’s interesting to realize that all my childhood crushes and attraction (I hesitate to say sexual) experiences were with other girls. I see the time I spent dating both males and females as an experimental phase, much like I’ve experimented with drugs, and eaten things like calf’s brains and dog, but of course, much more complex and psychologically fucked up. After I started training myself to live in my own body and mind and to experience things from my own perspective, it was overwhelming to realize that I saw myself, went through experiences, and even had dreams through male eyes. Being back in your body and mind is a really disarming thing at first. It affects everything you do, but you realize that hetero sex, (aka intercourse, aka rape) is a horrible thing to endure, absolutely pointless from a woman’s point of view, and more than that – extremely dangerous to your body and mind. You look back on what you did in the past, even in the name of experimentation, and it is hard to understand how you participated, if you can call it that. I think you have to dissociate as well as outsource your validation needs in order to allow males to use your body and to keep going back for more. This is a longer discussion, but the point I’m trying to make here is that bisexuality is just another male construction, or possibly even a female construction, that allows one to follow one’s natural tendencies a little while still remaining acceptable to patriarchal society.

A Few Major Bisexual Complaints

Bisexuals have a LOT of complaints. I’ve read a lot of bi commentary, and I don’t understand most of these complaints, even having spent many years as a bisexual. I’ll address a few here.

1) We don’t fit in anywhere. Heteros hate us and gays/lesbians reject us.

Any prejudice you experience is because of woman hate. The heteros hate you because you are not upholding patriarchy – you males are not raping women enough, and you women are not being raped enough. Gays and lesbians might reject you because of your hetero privilege, which you still have because most of the time you are being hetero. Lesbians especially, who live at the bottom of the human shit heap, are not interested in having male diseases passed to them by careless bisexual women, nor are they interested in investing in someone who will fuck them and then prance off when she has a chance at an economically attractive and socially acceptable hetero lifestyle opportunity if (when) it comes along (especially if said bi wants to breed). It is not possible for a powerless and ubiquitously hated group (lesbians) to have any kind of power over you or dictate your freedom in the world. It amazes me how many self-indulgent articles there are on bisexuals blaming lesbians for everything wrong in their lives. You may experience bias rooted in woman-hate, but you also perpetuate it. Self-examination needed.

2) People tell us we don’t exist.

Remind you of anything? The trans pull the same shit. Nobody is denying your existence. You are human, you exist, and you can believe whatever the hell you want. I am likely one of very few people who will say that I don’t believe that bisexuality is a thing. Males yes (although, like I said, I call it omnisexuality). Women aren’t wired to put their bodies at risk or enslave themselves. Sorry.

Do you deserve more attention in the LG-alphabet group? If so, why? You have the best of both worlds, really. You get to CHOOSE what and who you do. Gays and lesbians who are committed to a publicly displayed sexuality are so much worse off than you and are more based in reality (and less whiny) than the bisexual community. While gays and lesbians might be able to pass in hetero society based on appearance, they certainly can’t pass socially unless they show up solo to events or never, ever speak about their personal lives. So, in my opinion, I wouldn’t include you in the gay-lesbian activist groups, just as I would exclude the trannies and the queer, Hitler-youth brigade and any other post-modernist bullshit “I’m different! Look at me!’ groups. Make your own fucking group. And stop trying to force lesbians to accept you. Nobody should be forced to fuck you. That is called rape. (Hint, this applies to trannies too, who keep trying to force lesbians to be with them.) No one owes you a fuck in order to validate your claims of specialness or outsiderness.

3) People assume we are pedophiles

This one is legit, but like with the most valid complaints, the reason they happen is because of woman-hate and the anti-gay sentiments that exist everywhere. You aren’t assumed to be a pedophile because you are bisexual. So-called straight men, who comprise the vast majority of pedophiles in the world, are never assumed to be so. Gay men are. Lesbians get this too, to a certain extent. In reality, there are very few true female pedophiles. The same 1-2 weird incarcerated female high school teachers with teen boy student lover docu-dramas, coupled with tons of television sitcom episodes focusing on this topic are covered to death to promote the idea that women are equally likely to be pedophiles as men. Not even close to being true. This is a whole nuther topic. But suffice it to say that if you are lesbian or a female bisexual, you may experience fear on the part of women with children. Not so much by men – men will sexualize you for THEIR sexual purposes rather than assume you are going to attack children. Myself, I experienced this with my sister when I confided in her that I was bisexual in my mid-20’s. She had a 4-year-old daughter at the time, and after my quiet announcement, she never let me be in a room alone with my neice ever again. I’ll repeat that it was not the bisexuality that was the problem in my sister’s mind, but the lesbian part of it which was the motivator for the irrational and hateful reaction.

Conclusion here. Bisexuals can be very touchy and defensive. And loud, if they are ‘out’. Like the trans. Much more so than you ever experience with gays and lesbians. While the latter tend to be much more secure in their sexuality once they’ve chosen to come out, bisexuals’ reactivity is more likely to be a product of a constructed victimhood, hard-to-pin-down identity, and comparative privilege (I hate that word, but I don’t have a better one right now) over actual victimized groups. Their predation within oppressed groups (i.e., trying to force lesbians to want them sexually) likely creates a little cognitive dissonance concerning whether they are more victim or predator or both.

Anyhow, like with the whole silly, but scary, trannie movement, I wish this one didn’t take up so much retail space…

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