Category Archives: Human Rights
P is for Purity
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Okay, where to start… Well, first off, I’ll just say that the plans I had for the remainder of the P-posts went out the window today thanks to a confusing experience I had when I was briefly out and about this morning. I spent the rest of the day hemming and hawing, as I don’t like throwing out good plans, and I’ve been hesitant to name the country where I currently live. Not sure why – I named and wrote plenty about China when I lived there. But what the hell. I’ve already written a number of posts about my time here in the country of Georgia, and I’ve started to think of them collectively as ‘The Georgia Files’. If you want to check them out, there are below:
- O is for Ownership – Part I
- Tits Out: An Observation
- When a 5-Year-Old Boy Creeps You Out
- Sexual Assault: The Quintessence of Femalehood
- It’s Biology: They’ve Got “Surround, Terrorize and Destroy” Down to an Art at 12
- Cry Like a Boy vs. Cry Like a Girl: An Observation
I will write a more in-depth analysis of Georgia one day. I’m not ready. This place is very weird, and I’m still trying to figure it out, you see. The only two reasons – and when I say ‘only two’, I really mean that – that I continue to stay here is that you can stay visa-free for a year, repeatedly, and it is cheaper than most places. But that’s it. I honestly can’t think of anything else I like about this country, including the food, the infrastructure, the people, and the religion-infected culture. Despite the horribleness of China, there are actually things I do miss about it, and even in the midst of living there, I could name things that I liked about my life there. Here, I can’t. I can’t name a single thing I like. And yes, my goal is to find a way to leave, but it takes time. I don’t believe in whining publicly without making a serious attempt to solve your problem.
Anyhow, religion. It is because of that that I decided to rejig my Series plan. You see, few things rile me up more than the topic of religion. I am a militant atheist, and I get so sick of religious people of ALL faiths pretending that they are these innocent oppressed victims. Even religions that are legitimately persecuted are also ALWAYS horrible oppressors of various groups of people – women and girls, first and foremost, and every single one of these religions engages in acts of hate while at the same time preaching peace and love. And every single one of them demands religious tolerance while actively engaging in acts and policies of intolerance and even humans rights abuse. I’m sick of it. It also annoys me when women claim they are feminists and then go on to willingly participate in religion, which let’s face it, is one of the primary weapons of male society used to infect, brainwash, subordinate, and destroy females. I also get annoyed when so-called feminists demonstrate a need to cling to the fantasy of there being a supernatural creator despite no evidence or logic. I’m sure the need to believe in something stems from various childhood fears and family-based programming, but I see things this way: I’m a trained scientist and the default position of untainted scientific methods is to try to disprove the null hypothesis, which is the default. In other words, there is nothing until you can PROVE otherwise. Finally, I’ve had enough of religious people trying to wiggle out of their moral crimes by insisting that atheism is a religion too (it’s not; it’s just a simple rejection of belief, not an entire system of laws based on pure fantasy, fear and hate) or that Hitler was an atheist (he wasn’t; he was a pantheist who elevated nature to the status of a god of sorts). I’m not sure if I’ll do an R is for Religion at this point. I fear I’ll devolve into a bit of an R is for Rant, and I try to avoid that as there is enough of it on the internet already.
Sooo, today, I popped out to the corner shop to pick up a few things to put in my almost-empty refrigerator. The first thing I noticed was police officers directing traffic at the intersection near my apartment for no apparent reason that I could see. As I got closer to the shops, I saw a river of people in the streets. Kind of a strange place for them – they were moving along slowly to which destination, I couldn’t figure out. There were hundreds and hundreds of them. And I saw the Orthodox Christian priests in their long black robes, carrying their flags and crosses and portraits of saints. What the hell was going on? I thought to myself, “Not another fucking holiday…” We just had Mother’s Day, Victory Day, Saint Andrew’s Day, and Easter – all just in May alone. And we’ve still got Independence Day this month. So, I wove my way through the crowd, bought my stuff and then returned home so that I could hit the internet and find out the answer to “What now…?” And my search resulted in me writing this post and including it in my Alphabet Series.
Today is Family Purity Day. Just the name of the holiday makes me feel nauseous. But I wanted to find out what that meant, as the label comes across as some sort of euphemism for something unsavoury. I know how other religions define ‘purity’, and how other countries define their Family Purity Days, and approximately 100% of the time it has something to do with women being whores and menstrual blood making females into impure, disgusting, untouchable non-humans. Yes, I’m looking at all of you Muslims and those Jews on the stricter end of the religious spectrum. The Orthodox Christians also hate female menstrual blood, and women are forced to wear scarves on their head when they are menstruating in order to announce to the world that they are unclean. Buddhists are the same. Females are considered to be unclean and there are various spaces that may not be entered by females and certain objects that may not be touched by females. This may not be universal, but Tibet and Myanmar, for sure, bar women from full participation. No religion is immune from upholding the idea that it is females and not males who are unclean, and this doesn’t make sense to me in the slightest. All evidence shows us that men are filthy, smell worse, generate more filth, don’t give a shit about living in a clean environment, and carry and pass on all sorts of diseases to women through their ‘who cares’ attitude that derives from male privilege. But no, it is women and girls who are unclean. Now, imagine substituting a particular racial group for ‘female’ and imagine the uproar. This has happened in the past, and we see these events as dark days. Yet, these days, liberal Western tourists have no problem with giving money to religious organizations and historical monuments that advertise their misogyny in plain language on signs. Misogyny is still much, much more of a problem than racism today, and no one gives a shit.
But Family Purity Day here in Georgia is about another kind of woman-hate. It focuses on anti-gay and -lesbian action, which is rooted in misogyny, and upholds traditional, pro-rape, anti-woman, heterosexual, religious values. This day of hate was started in 2014 by the Orthodox Church as a ‘take that!’ reaction to the 2013 gay and lesbian rally commemorating the International Day Against Homophobia, which is normally held on May 17 around the world. Religious people and even the priests themselves had shown up and committed acts of violence against the gay community attending the rally – probably to express their peace and love and acceptance that is built into all religions. Following the bloodshed, Georgia was punished by the European Court of Human Rights for their violence demanding almost 200,000 Euros in payment (to whom, I am not sure – hopefully to the 30 people who were injured by the priests and other shitheads). Reminiscent of how Christian invaders in the British Isles colonized the Celts long ago by timing all their religious celebrations at the same time as the Celtic holidays, the Georgian religious fanatics decided that May 17th would be an excellent time to hold their Family Purity Day. Despite the violence of the past, the current government fully supports harm to gays and lesbians, and this year, has drafted an amendment to the constitution to further limit the rights and freedoms of homosexuals, including prohibiting them from working in education, government and cultural institutions. Some people here are worried that Georgia’s 2022 application to enter the European Union will be denied, and I hope to hell, they are cut off from that and much more. This is not a good country.
I feel it somewhat ironic that having lived in a few parts of Georgia, I ended up being drawn, and without knowing in advance, to the location where Anne Lister, the woman dubbed ‘the first modern lesbian’ died after a brave and adventurous life. She’d likely be saddened, but unsurprised, by what is happening currently in her place of death. But I have to admit, I’m not really surprised either.
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P is for Pedo
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Whoa, oh, oh, young girl
So hard to choose just one… lyrics from one of many classic pedo-fantasy songs. This one, Young Girl, is by Gary Puckett. A common element to all pedo songs is that some to all of the responsibility for the rape fantasies is placed on the child herself for being a deliberately tantalizing slut… And notice that there isn’t a celebrated playlist of female pedo songs, despite female pedophilia being a ‘thing’.
Get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl
You’re much too young, girl
Back in 2017, the beginnings of a wave rippled on the surface of the internet. From the depths, had come wild claims of political and criminal wrong-doings. It quickly became a movement, with a rapidly growing body of wild suppositions and predictions, and garnering wackadoo men from across the US and even abroad. And once claims of there being an elite international cabal of pedophiles was put out there, women started joining. A lot of women will get caught up in completely batshit crazy male-driven movements because of a superficially altruistic message or mission and/or because they have been scared out of their wits – in this case, protecting children from sex predators. Men tend to be more motivated to join groups in order to gain power and wealth, for the opportunity to mete out extra-system violence and revenge for imagined transgressions, and/or to get recognition or gratitude.
So anyhow, this was QAnon, and as quickly as it was built up, it has since lost much of its steam. Personally, I think it wasn’t a genuine conspiracy theory, but rather what inevitably happens when you have the perfect storm of capitalism, the internet, testosterone, and religion. The best conspiracy theories – or, rather, the most worthwhile to consider, if you’re interested in such things – have actual plausibility that can be fact-checked, and QAnon really had little going for it other than a call to violence appealing to political extremists.
Now the pedophilia focus of the group was strange. It may just have been a ploy to get women involved, because really, you can’t take any men seriously when they start accusing other men of sex-related perversions and crimes. Pot meet kettle, etc. etc. Pedophilia is an everyman phenomenon, not the domain of the rich and famous. It has nothing to do with wealth or education or race or culture, and it has been going on since human time began. And it is perpetrated most often, not by faceless strangers waiting for kids in a swimming pool change room, but by the men and boys a child knows: family members, teachers, community religious leaders, and family friends. This is the same mistake that everyone makes about rapists of adult women: they are more likely to be a friend, family member, co-worker or other male you are familiar with than a complete stranger. But believing in the evil stranger props up the myth that good men exist, that women and girls should trust and get involved with at least some men and boys, and that one’s own male family members are innocent by association with you instead of enabled and given sexual carte blanche by you and other females.
So I want to get into a couple of things here. I’ve touched on related issues in other posts in the past (see the links in the post throughout). First, I’ll get into male chronophilia, and pedophilia specifically. I’ll briefly talk about women who molest children. Then, I’ll talk about how women aid and abet male pedos through self-feminization as well as the grooming of their daughters for heterosexuality. And although these seem like opposite-purpose behaviours, they actually work together unintentionally.
Chronophilia
This was a term used by creepy Kiwi sexologist, John Money, to refer to male sexual preference for and fixation on specific age groups. Philia is Greek in origin, meaning a friendly affection type of love, and sometimes, it is just that. Think of the word Anglophile, for example, which refers to someone who really likes the UK and everything British. But not all philias are safe and innocent, and those involving what men’s minds and dicks get up to are anything but. Personally, I think male sexuality, regardless of how socially acceptable or undisordered it is, is the root of all of women’s and girls’ problems. I see the penis as a weapon of mass destruction with the capability of killing and causing great suffering. And you can disagree all you want, but you can’t argue with the statistics on rape and its myriad physical and psychological damage, unwanted pregnancy and its various outcomes, venereal diseases, PTSD, and a whole host of other problems resulting from females having to deal with males’ dicks.
There is some debate about whether all males are chronophiles. Personally, I don’t think this is that important, but if you’ve read my sexuality series, you’ll already know that I consider males to be omnisexual. In other words, all males have at least a tickle of attraction to all sorts of stuff, including children. What they choose to act on and what they choose to suppress and even repress depends on a whole host of factors. There are males who’ll do anyone or anything, anytime, anywhere regardless of age, species, or animate status without a distinct preference. And there are other males who exhibit a socially acceptable range of age attraction, and others still, who have a very narrow range of targets whether socially acceptable or not. The problem is that many males are attracted to age groups that are under 18 while they themselves are adults. While all male-female relationships are inherently power imbalanced, and are thus not truly consensual, it is much worse when there are age differences and one of the parties has an underdeveloped brain and body. Men don’t seem to see a problem with attraction to teenaged girls, otherwise known as ephebophilia, and have built an entire rape-based industry called pornography and prostitution to legitimize this belief. I have a problem with it, of course, as I think intercourse causes physical and psychological damage to females regardless of age, but especially when young. And then we enter the realms of hebephilia and pedophilia – attraction to early teens and pre-pubescent children, respectively. Hebephilia was acceptable for most of human history, and still is in some cultures, the reasoning being that if a girl is menstruating, then she’s fair game for ownership and raping. These days, you still see online discussions among men about whether it’s ‘okay’ to be attracted to a 14-year-old girl. I don’t personally understand adult attraction to teenagers and children. It is really hard for me to get into the headspace of a male that sees this as desirable. But if you understand that everything that men do is about power and control, then you can see why dominating the helpless might be desirable. And with that, I’ll get into the next topic.
What’s a Pedophile, Anyway?
Now, I learned a few things here as I was digging into the boner-brain connection. The most interesting, but perhaps unsurprising, thing to me was that only about half of males who sexually molest children can be diagnosed as pedophiles. Pedophilia, unlike most of the other chronophilias, is a clinical diagnosis of a sexual preference disorder. In other words, being attracted to children is kind of a problem. Yet 50% of child molesters aren’t sexually attracted to children. At first, I reread this finding and thought, WTF??? But then I remembered that the penis is a weapon and that, for men, sexual activity is inseparable from acts of violence, hate and degradation, and a means of exerting power and control, and on some level, ALL males know this. I don’t think that any sexual act that a male carries out with unequal parties – meaning women and children – is devoid of power and control and hate and degradation, even if he dresses it up as love. So after that initial WTF? moment, it made sense. Males assault children to get off and feel power even if they are not attracted to them, just as men sometimes rape adult women they aren’t attracted to, but to get off on punishing them for being female and a threat to their ego in some way.
Researchers tell us that about 5% of the male population are pedophiles, but these data are based on surveys, so I would have to assume that the figure is higher as some men aren’t going to admit what they like if it is criminal. Likewise with rape. Survey-based studies of college age males indicate that a quarter of men would rape a woman if they knew they weren’t going to get caught. That number is likely much higher because a lot of men aren’t going to admit to something criminal in nature. The message here is that it is impossible to know how disgusting and dangerous men truly are because we rely upon incarceration data and self-report data. And only a minority of sex offenders are actually caught and convicted. I remember visiting a friend in L.A. once time, and for kicks, I decided to look up the neighbourhood on the sex offender registry to see how many rapists and pedos lived around me. It was shocking how many red dots appeared on the streets around where I was staying, and then I realized that those dots were only the convicted and released men. Remember only about 5% of male rapists are ever convicted. Anyhow, liberal men have criticized society for pedo-hysteria, and have even created entertainment – the British animated series, Monkey Dust, is an example – that pokes fun at those who worry about what men do to those with much smaller voices. While I don’t believe in persecuting people without cause, I think women and children should ideally have the option of living apart from males.
Of the men who molest children – girls and boys – over 80% of them live heterosexual lives. Some LGB researchers argue that you can’t really identify sexual orientation in pedophiles, but I don’t agree 100%. Girls are much, much more likely to be sexually abused than males, and that difference would not exist if pedophiles did not have an orientation. It may not be an entirely sexual orientation – sex and harm go hand in hand for males – but it is certainly an orientation that involves hurting girls. Twenty percent of girls are molested, compared to 5 percent of boys. I think it’s probably higher in females as girls are groomed from birth to accept sexual attention from males, so they are less likely to see what is happening to them as a crime and to report it.
While homosexual men are not the group to worry most about, there have been a few gay male pro-pedophilia groups, such as NAMBLA in North America and the Krumme13 (or the Crooked 13) in Germany that have advocated for adult-child sexual relationships, decriminalizing child porn, and the like. They are not embraced by the gay and lesbian community, but have perhaps made an impression on simple-thinking right-wingers who may possibly be more likely to be pedophiles than the people they demonize 😉
There has been some effort by left-wingers in recent times to increase the publicity of and search for female child molesters. They are really hard to get a grasp on though for a few reasons. They are far, far less common than male sex offenders, the entire world protects mothers from being seen as perverts and abusers, and child victims are less likely to report sexual abuse from their mothers and female caregivers. So, sample sizes are generally small, and typology models are still under development, but from the data available, two primary types of adult women sexually abuse pre-pubescent children: the male-coerced type, where women assist a male partner in the sexual assault, and the intergenerational predisposed type, where women abuse their own children or children close to them. And these women appear to be almost universally heterosexual mothers or care-givers, although they sexually abuse females more than males. The behaviour seems to be less sexually motivated, and more a reenactment of sexual and physical abuse they themselves suffered as children. Interestingly, female sex abusers tend to be more physically brutal with female victims in addition to the molestation, and serious injuries are much more likely with girls and with youngers victims than with boys or pubescent and teenaged victims. Although, researchers seem confused about why this might be, I have a strong suspicion that this is a direct expression of the internalized misogyny that all women grow up with, and women trapped in unwanted caregiving roles with girl children are possibly tapping into repressed rage from their own childhood abuse. It seems logical that female abusers would see a young girl as a proxy for the hated self, and punish the girl accordingly.
Admittedly, much more investigation is needed to understand the prevalence of and motivation for female sex abusers and the damage they do to girls. Generally speaking, I think mothers are far too protected as it is, and I am no fan of seeing breeding as a human right. I think being born to a sane and loving person is the human right we need to be more concerned with. If you are a severely damaged person, you have no business being around children, let alone creating your own punching bags and fuck toys. I still remember back to my time in China, and I saw plenty of public child abuse, but it was only ever mothers slapping, punching, kicking, and using make-shift weapons on their small girl children. It was shocking, and I was the only one who seemed to notice. Never once did I see anyone — mother or father – hit a boy. Of course, I saw plenty of adult males physically abusing adult females in public. But not children. We see from crime data that males are much more likely to abuse and sexually abuse children, especially girls, but perhaps they save it for the privacy of the home since they are seldom out and about with children on their own, unlike women. And although fathers aren’t as protected as mothers from suspicion of abuse, society generally accepts male violence as the way things are. If we put a few token male rapists in jail, we can all feel like we’re addressing the problem, even though we’re not. But maternal child abuse, including molestation, needs to be addressed in a more serious way.
Aiders and Abettors
I wanted to briefly address a more common female contribution to pedophilia and that is feminization, the pursuit of youth, and the grooming of daughters. I talked about much of this in my 2017 post Thanks for Supporting Pedophilia. My theory is that instead of aging naturally and normally, adult women engage in a whole host of practices – aka practising femininity – designed to chase youth and cater to male pedophilic, hebephilic and ephebophilic proclivities. Women remove their body hair, try to stay thin and unmuscular, dye their hair, coat their faces in make-up to look younger, and dumb down the tone and content of their speech in an effort to look more childlike and to keep men’s attention. And increasingly, mothers groom their daughters for male attention by allowing them to dress age-inappropriately and femininely, to wear make-up, and they tend to punish assertive and aggressive behaviour. Consequently the lines between adult and child are increasingly blurred, and all of it is for male attention. Without males, females have no need to engage in any of this feminizing and infantilizing behaviour.
I’m going to conclude with the following. If I had a daughter, and I feel thankful every day that I don’t have children, here is my list of threats to her safety in descending order:
- Straight and bisexual men – despite entertainment propaganda that they are the only protectors of the weak that we can rely on, they are actually the greatest threat to women and girls, and you engage with them at your own and your daughters’ risk.
- All teenaged boys – in some ways, they are worse than adult men simply because they are more likely to target children than adult women for victimization. But their worlds are smaller and their access to people is more limited and they may be marginally more monitored than adults. It’s a fine line, though.
- All boy children – many are sadistic with impulse control problems, but are uber-protected by boy-moms because of their supposed innocence. You’d be surprised how often little boys commit sex crimes though.
- Straight and bisexual women – while they are much less likely to commit sex crimes than men, as I mentioned, straight women who sex offend tend to be much more physically brutal with girls in addition to molesting them. In addition, straight women are male pedophile enablers, especially if they are boy-moms or women in committed relationships with men. Straight women will sometimes participate in molestation with their partner, but most often will just cover up or pretend the crimes aren’t happening. In some cases, women will trade their daughters’ bodies for a place to live despite there being lots of help for single mothers in Western countries.
- Gay men – they are not so much a sexual risk to girls, but gay men are misogynists too. I’ll bet they’re probably less dangerous to girls than, say, boy-moms.
- Lesbian and separatist women – the only risk they pose is any internalized misogyny they have from growing up and living in a toxic anti-woman world. But by and large, they are the safest people for girls to be around.
So, like the right-wingers of QAnon and various religious groups around the world, do we need to lose our shit in the quest to root out pedophilia in all tribes but our own? No. The sexualization and abuse of children, especially girls, is part of a much larger problem called male domination. And separatism is a more logical place to put your energy and a better investment for your daughters.
This post is part of the Alphabet Series.
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M is for Mayhem
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
About a thousand years ago, when I was 29, I was living and working as an itinerant orchard worker in New Zealand. At one point, I found myself staying at a youth hostel in one of their fair cities – maybe Christchurch – and as is habitual with the 20-something nomad denizen, a group of us went out to a local watering hole. I don’t actually remember what we were talking about during that outing, but apparently I said something that warranted a comment from one of the males in the group. And the comment, which I do remember clearly, was designed to be a compliment. He said: “Wow, you’re an anarchist, aren’t you?”
I think I gave some sort of non-committal answer like, “I guess” because I really didn’t know what exactly it meant to be an anarchist other than the general stereotype that the majority of people believe: no leadership, no rules, random and unproductive violence, and total chaos. With the exception of a few minor violent acts of self-defense in response to assaults by males in my teen years, I didn’t consider myself to be a violent person, and I certainly didn’t see myself as an eco-terrorist or a violent Black Panther type. So what did it mean that I was an anarchist? As is likely no surprise to anyone, the public education system then and still today didn’t address the nuts and bolts of anarchy or feminism or why people seemed to deem movements like these necessary. You see, capitalism and female slavery are cornerstones of our world. We are not allowed to think critically about them, and we definitely don’t want children to escape indoctrination into willingly participating in these crucial foundational systems through exposure to anecdotal evidence, quantitative data, and philosophical discussion, do we? So anyhow, there I was in 2001, a highly educated and fairly well-read, yet still selectively ignorant, young woman who still hadn’t been exposed to some of the most important written work ever produced because of lack of exposure, access, and role models.
You’ve likely noted that I included anarchy and feminism in the same ideological boat, and some feminists have seen and still see a place for themselves in both movements. But today, I’m actually going to argue that as they have been and are still practised, neither actually does much for women either separately or together. I’ll then talk about what true anarchism might look like from an actual feminist, or more specifically, a gynocentric perspective.
So let’s dive into why M is for Mayhem.
What is anarchy? Well, long before it was established as a political philosophy in the mid-19th century, the term was, in fact, used to mean disorder and mayhem. The word gradually became linked with revolutionary acts in various places, and bubbled up among disaffected male ‘thinkers’ from all walks of life with too much time on their hands and comparatively little to complain about. To a man, they saw an inverse relationship between what they felt they deserved and what they believed they should be accountable for. They were also expert wordsmiths, twisting language to create a framework for a political environment they could abuse for self-interest, while appearing on the surface to champion freedom and equality and rationality. This shouldn’t be a surprise. If you look at any and all political ideologies that males have come up with throughout history, regardless of ‘wing’ status, they all purport to champion the same things. Freedom, equality, opportunity, security, and responsibility. But at the end of the day, these ideals are never meant to be accessible to all – and by all, I mean women. And this is simply because all males operate and thrive on dominance, control, entitlement and self-interest, whether they acknowledge it or not.
I’ll just mention a few of the basic tenets of anarchist thinking, in general. If you want to do a deep dive into anarchist thought, I recommend heading over to either The Anarchist Library or Dead Anarchists; both are dot org websites. Important to note is that over time several branches of anarchist thought have emerged, some more individualistic and some more collectivistic. What they tend to agree on, however, is that the State and state-sanctioned capitalism were and are the major sources of systemic violence, coercion, and exploitation, and strip men of the rights and freedoms they believe they deserve. Key to their vision of society included:
1.. Stateless and ruler-less self-organization. Anarchist males ignorantly and arrogantly believed that they could come together in a voluntary fashion, behave in a civilized and self-monitoring way, and engage in mutually beneficial arrangements without the intervention of a policing authority. In other words, anarchists wanted order and rules without rulers. It’s laughable to imagine males magically constructing a functional society based on cooperation and peace and somehow managing not to engage in the reactive and violent emotionality that is the hallmark of every male dominated society since time began. I just don’t think males are capable of this.
2.. Anti-capitalism. Anarchists rightly understood that capitalism is a source of exploitation and violence and that wealth determines policy. But they failed to understand that capitalism isn’t the root of the problem, and that removing capitalism doesn’t solve the problems of violence and exploitation. The root problem is males themselves. Every system they design becomes coercive and exploitative and hierarchical. It’s just which males are on top that changes when systems change.
Interestingly, many of these early anarchists profited immensely from wealthy benefactors and exploitative free or indentured female labour, including the father of anarchy, himself. I so often find that males who spend their lives philosophizing about, criticizing and rebelling against the system are usually the worst hypocrites, seldom practising what they preach. It is sometimes hard for me to understand why these men attract so many female acolytes; it is quite possible that most of these men are charismatic psychopaths able to manipulate politically or ideologically impassioned as well as socially and intellectually isolated women.
3.. Free speech. A lot of these anarchists opposed the control of the church and the censorship of the State. Men generally believe they should be able to say whatever they want, whenever they want without consequences. But they don’t tend to extend this form of freedom to women, especially those wanting freedom from male control or proposing methods of female self-governance or suggesting that consent isn’t possible for women due to an imbalance of power. This is as true now as it was then. Again, this demonstrates the hypocrisy of male philosophers and human rights proponents. Their underlying belief is always: “I oppose dictatorship, unless I am the dictator.”
4.. A non-coercive society. Everything about an anarchist society is supposed to be non-coercive or voluntary. For example, an anarchist would choose to pay taxes because they want to since they are using a service, not because they are forced to.
One of the problems inherent in a society without religion, capitalism, police, government or hierarchy, though, is how to get around the whole rape privilege thing and still have free access to pussy under the pretext of female free will and consent. Men realized that their right to rape was built into all of those systems they were fighting to abolish, and under anarchy, women might start to argue that they have the right to freely choose their participation, as well. No truly free woman would ever consent to what men do to women’s bodies, and all men know this on some level. And this is where the ‘free love’ movement came in.
Free love was a big part of the anarchist movement, especially among the women who joined the fray, and we saw this as an undercurrent in Second Wave Feminism and still today in the Slut Movement. It would actually have been more in line with true anarchism to refrain from engaging sexually with men altogether as the power imbalance is inescapable. But women fell for the male logic behind the movement – I think they would not have been allowed to participate otherwise. The male logic fail goes something like this. The only difference between intercourse and rape is this thing called ‘consent’. But consent is only possible between two equal parties. Women have never been equal, and cannot be equal in a world where men exist because men always hold the threat of rape over women even when the word love or equality comes out of their mouths. The exception to equality is payment. Compensating someone can be considered to be consent, so you can’t rape a prostitute or a wife since both are paid for fuck services. So how can you convince a woman to consent to rape without pay? Well, you tell her that fucking as many men as possible without compensation is the ultimate proof of female free will, bodily liberation and equality. And this constitutes the ultimate flipping off of religion, capitalism and the State.
This fooled and continues to fool a lot of anarchist and feminist women, unfortunately. But the reality was and is still that no version of free love has ever liberated women. Anarchist women were still servicing men, still getting pregnant, still dying from botched abortions and difficult pregnancies, and contracting even more venereal diseases than before, but now men didn’t have to pay for anything, they had more access to women’s bodies, and they never had to face rape charges because those existing in a state of perpetual willingness can’t be raped.
5.. Non-violence. Contrary to what most people believe, the majority of anarchists don’t support violent agendas. But this needs to be clarified, and I’ll use the Father of Anarchy, Pierre-Joseph Proudhon, to illustrate. Proudhon, who only got a good start in life because of a devoted boy-mom and the generosity of capitalists, believed in a moral and ethical peaceful transformation of society. He criticized revolutionary violence. But he did not extend his beliefs to women. So much for equality… He wrote in his private notebooks, which have since been published, that violence should be used to subdue women, and he firmly believed that “Woman does not at all hate being used with violence, indeed even being violated…” While men tell us what they think all the time, what women see but refuse to believe is only the tip of the iceberg. We see this all the time when men’s private activities come to light posthumously or even accidentally while they are alive. The best policy, in my experience and opinion, is never to give men the benefit of the doubt – or ‘yes, all men’ – and to always question their publicly stated beliefs. I think that you’ll eventually discover that their words, actions and beliefs don’t match up. They tell you flimsy lies to get your labour, support, ideas and body. Supporting them is always a mistake.
A Word on Female Anarchists
For every male philosophy and movement, there have always been female supporters. They are always fewer in number than the males, simply because radical thinking is always more dangerous or risky for women. Because of their minority status, these women tend to be very pro-male and male apologists, even if they think they are arguing on behalf of women’s rights. They have to. The limited attention and support they do get never comes from other women as they are too afraid to rock the patriarchal boat. But the male supporters end up also being their abusers. This is the history of revolution, and I touch on this in my F is for Friendship post. Men get a radical idea and garner female support by mouthing words that women misinterpret to mean shared ideals. Women then devote endless hours of labour, emotional support, money, and sexual access to their bodies to the radical male movement, and then end up in jail, and/or financially destitute, and/or sexually violated, and sometimes in the end, disillusioned when they discover that the movement was aimed at male rights and freedoms, not human rights.
The anarchist movement was no different. Some truly amazing and brave women devoted their lives to male freedom from exploitation. I have very mixed feelings when I read about these women though. They were clearly cut from a different cloth and had so much potential to make a difference for women had they not been diverted and consumed by male whining and self-imposed suffering. Their life stories read like a never-ending schizophrenic episode filled with violence, sexual liaisons with parasitical and often mentally ill men, male apologism, and anti-woman activities dressed up by modern philosophers as feminism. Here are a few examples.
Emma Goldman, probably the most well-known female anarchist, was a Russian Jewish immigrant to the US, active in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. She was a formidable speaker and prolific in her activism, and she ended up jailed on multiple occasions. Eventually, she was deported from the US during her career of fighting for whiny men using targeted violence campaigns to stop state-sanctioned violence campaigns. A sad history with a misogynistic father and then a violent rape in her teen years did nothing to stop her from pursuing several subordinate and degrading relationships with men, and at one point, freely choosing to become a prostitute to help a male anarchist fund a ridiculous assassination scheme. She also refused to get involved with First Wave feminists, but put energy into birth control access to facilitate women’s willingness to engage in free love. She was an anarchist in the male sense of the word, but I don’t consider her to be a feminist. I wish she had learned from her early negative experiences with men and put her vast energy and intelligence to better use as a separatist.
Voltairine de Cleyre, an American and another misguided female anarchist, was also a formidable speaker and writer. Again, she had the stirrings of feminism, as evidenced in her lecture and essay, entitled Sex Slavery, where she attacked the institution of marriage and marital rape. But instead of following this problem to its root, she was a staunch proponent of free love, and suffered personally and constantly, as a result. She carried on with various mentally ill male anarchists and as her reward, she became pregnant on multiple occasions, endured a brutal abortion, carried out one difficult pregnancy although was smart enough to hand of the male offspring to the father and refused motherhood, and she contracted syphilis. In addition, one of her male students shot her in an assassination attempt, but she immediately and ridiculously forgave him. So, definitely not a feminist, despite what people might say these days.
Since these early years, women have continued to participate in anarchist endeavours, even pairing their anarchy with liberal feminism through the Second Wave and on into the punk music scene and the Riot Grrrl movement. I think these efforts haven’t done much for women for three reasons, primarily.
First, they have usually piggy-backed on male movements or served as adolescent reactions to adolescent male behaviour. Second, they don’t address the root source of female oppression – men – and even include men in pretty much everything they do, so the best they can achieve is more freedom for oppressed men and continued sexual slavery for women. And third, feminism on its own has become diluted and polluted by intersectionality and inclusivity, and participants spend more time infighting and launching racist-misogynist attacks on white women than achieving female liberation and solidarity.
Unsurprisingly, male anarchists who, as a rule, talk about equality, have always reacted negatively to women promoting feminism within anarchism. Many tried to gaslight women into subordinating their concerns to those of class struggle. Of course, what so many fail to realize is that all oppressions stem from female oppression, so the logical pursuit is actually to liberate women from men first. Then the road is open to all other struggles. But these men knew exactly what they were doing in gaslighting women, and many women capitulated, likely due to their sexual ties to males in the movement, instead of starting their own movement separate from male anarchy. Women generally won’t allow themselves to see that male anarchists are not interested in equality, despite what they say. They never have been, and never will be. To make women truly equal is to protect them from male access and usage, and no man would ever agree to that because he rightly suspects that he would lose many of the privileges he sees as rights, and that he would actually have to work hard for the first time in his life to achieve something.
Can Anarchy and Feminism Co-Exist?
The quick and dirty answer is yes. The longer answer is yes, but you have to be clear about what you mean by both anarchy and feminism, and really, as I define it, true feminism is in and of itself, anarchy. True feminism is gynocentrism and female separatism. It is not possible to live free of hierarchy, coercion and violence if you devote energy to men, and especially if you practise heterosexuality or pour your resources into boy children. Intersectionality also has no place in this mindset as you end up with an oppression Olympics that fuels censorship and blame hierarchies and a loss of focus on femalehood as a shared status. At this point, I am not sure if women are ready or able to be just women. Men have created a world of damaged women living in archetypal boxes and who are trying and failing to escape this cage by constructing meaningless portfolios of micro-identities. I’ll bet that simplifying and separating is the answer to this, but that is another post for another time.
I’ll conclude by returning to where I started. Am I an anarchist? I think at this point, I can say yes. I’m a female separatist and I live by my words, and I can’t think of a better way to express freethinking and feminist mayhem than that.
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L is for Living
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive.
Maya Angelou
First off, thanks to all of you who heeded the poll call. I’m closing the poll on my blog, but if you still want to vote or comment, it will stay open on my YouTube channel (for as long as I remain uncensored 😉 )
Initially, I was going to devote a separate post to each of the categories in this whole life satisfaction thing, but I’ve changed my mind on that, especially upon seeing the results of the poll. As you may have guessed from the title of this post, the majority of respondents reported that they feel they are ‘living’ – nothing more, nothing less – and I’ll get into what that means in a bit. But first, I want to give a little clarification on what this post is and isn’t about.
Life Satisfaction, Happiness, and Quality of Life
These are different, but not necessarily unrelated, things. Both life satisfaction and happiness are cognitive and emotional self-evaluations, and thus completely subjective. The former is more of a long-term feeling about one’s status on several life factors, while the latter is an in-the-moment feeling that is both spontaneous and unexamined. Unfortunately, happiness is something we are taught to believe should be a constant state, and that there is something wrong with us if we can’t achieve that. I wrote about happiness in my J is for Joy post, and I’m of the opinion that the pursuit of happiness is pointless and often leads, ironically, to misery and obsession. Quality of Life (QoL) is a little different. It can be defined using standard indicators, allowing for relatively objective comparative research across time and place. However, some individuals have their own definitions of QoL to help with personal goal-setting, cognitive-emotional evaluation and subsequent course correction.
Today, I’m going to talk about life satisfaction.
Who Is to Blame for the Obsession with Satisfaction and Happiness?
It’s a chicken and egg question. Which came first: our great dissatisfaction with life or our obsession with it? I suspect that people didn’t really think much about how they felt until societal change and human rights became possible. After that, our feelings and obsession with them probably fed off one another, so much so that men developed an entire psychological discipline centred on life satisfaction and happiness. We even have something called the ‘World Happiness Report’, which includes a 10-point, self-reported life satisfaction scale. I’m including a link to an interactive world map where you can check out how your own country ranks on self-reported satisfaction. It’s interesting to note that Canada has lost half a point in satisfaction over the last 10 years, while China has gained over a whole point in the same amount of time – these are significant changes on a 10-point scale, and I’d bet that increased poverty in the former and increased wealth in the latter have played a significant role here. Anyhow, believers in this type of evaluation have even gone so far as to happy-slap the dead, much in the way that TRAs have transified dead homosexuals. We are told, despite lack of evidence on what is a wholly subjective measure, that people were happier in the past, with some eras being more ecstatic than others. What a shameful abuse of authority to draw these impossible-to-draw conclusions.
The satisfaction and happiness movement was an outcome of humanist psychology originating in the mid-20th century and its spawn, positive psychology, born in the late 1990’s. All I’ll say about that here is that if you’re interested in a host of rich, mansplaining and obnoxious white dudes telling you what to do to achieve bliss, you can boil it down to this: don’t regret the past, be happy and grateful in the present, and be hopeful for the future. To me, much of this is what I consider to be toxic positivity worthy of cult status, and if you’ve been following along on YT or my blog, you know what I think about happiness and hope.
So you might be wondering, hey Story Ending, you seem really critical of this topic, so why did you create a poll? Yeah, good question. See, this is a bell that cannot be unrung. We see from research that life satisfaction is linked with mental and physical health, although I think this is an interdependent relationship. Being unsatisfied makes you feel unwell and being unwell makes you feel unsatisfied with life. So, there really is no way back to the acceptance of suffering and lack of change of the past. Us modern folk have grown up with the idea that having expectations to improve and change, and even being deserving of something better are human rights.
Measuring Life Satisfaction
The World Happiness Report I talked about earlier uses a measure of life satisfaction called the Cantril Ladder, a 10-point scale ranging from ratings of hopelessness to prosperity and grouped into the satisfaction categories: suffering, struggling and thriving. Hadley Cantril, very briefly, was a researcher of propaganda and social influence and a developer of public polling methodology, and he was known for uncovering hypocrisy in the beliefs of the American public and examining the role of authority in causing public panic.
Now, in my poll, I created four categories, with an extra one thrown in to catch liars, the deluded, and the victims of life coaches or the Cult of Positivity. Luckily, no one endorsed that category 😉 I asked respondents to consider all subjectively relevant areas of their lives. These areas could, but did not have to, include: financial situation, career/job status, relationship quality, physical and mental health, living environment, feelings of safety and stability, sense of purpose, level of personal development, etc. My scale went like this:
A) Suffering: significant hardship in one or more areas of life.
B) Surviving: my head is above water, but it’s tough.
C) Living: I’m getting by better than some, but it’s underwhelming.
D) Thriving: Things are going well; I look forward to each day.
E) Transcending: I have a blessed life filled with wonder and joy.
Note that this was a single-question poll, and I didn’t ask people to report their sex, age or location. These are descriptive data and no causal conclusions can therefore be drawn. My only assumptions were that most to all of the respondents were female and that people responded honestly.
‘Living’ was the most endorsed category, and I’ll talk briefly about what this could mean. By and large, women feet they are getting their basic needs met. Things are ‘ok’ or quite average, but perhaps they could be better. There may or may not be a lot of emotional satisfaction in the process of getting by and getting things done. I see the main differences between thriving and living and as being anticipation rather than commitment to the daily grind, and a feeling of growth or forward movement rather than running in place. I didn’t get any comments on this from thrivers or livers, but I’m happy to learn if I’m missing something here.
Another thing I wanted to mention is that these are not fixed categories. As life is unpredictable, you can easily find yourself skipping around through your life, with the possibility of experiencing all four scenarios. I myself have experienced all but a feeling of thriving, and the most terrifying thing for me is that you can go from living to suffering in the space of a month. Without personal experience, I can only imagine that feeling that you’re thriving instills a sense of stability. I’ve never felt that before.
Is There a So-Called ‘Thriving Mindset’?
The quick and dirty answer is ‘no’. You cannot will or hope or pray yourself into financial success or excellent health. Conversely, being a realist or even a bit on the negative side won’t magically destroy your opportunities or outcomes in life either. Sure, to some extent we are all captains of our own ships, but a lot of you probably know damn well that you can do absolutely everything right in your life and still end up struggling in one or more areas. And while we might be able to work hard, eat well, develop great relationships and stay active of our own free will, envisioning success or joining the unofficial Cult of Positivity is not a magic bullet that will take care of everything else.
The ‘yes’ answer – that there is a Thriving Mindset – was likely concocted by the psychotherapy and life coaching professions in order to make money off of blaming and shaming you for your lack of prosperity and getting you to sign up for an expensive course of treatment or goal-setting program. One of the worst pieces of propaganda-slash-pseudo-intellectual-malarky I’ve seen out there comes from Class A misogynist, Friedrich Nietzsche: “To live is to suffer; to thrive is to find meaning in suffering.” Again with the suffering, right? I swear men are obsessed with pain and suffering – as long as it’s women who bear the brunt of it. The fact is that no one in the world has the one-size-fits-all model for how to thrive. There are many factors involved, many of which are completely outside our control, and some of which are completely controlled by men. As a result, I think it is difficult for women to achieve a state of thriving in this world. Two major things we see over time and all over the world in the data on various measures of prosperity is that women as a class experience significantly more poverty and significally more chronic health issues, especially depression and inflammatory diseases, than men. While men are more likely to die off earlier everywhere, women tend to develop issues that keep them alive, but suffering in multiple ways for very long periods of time. And this suffering has nothing to do with mindset and everything to do with being an long-oppressed class of people. You just can’t think or hope your way out of this.
What I’d really love to see is all women and girls thriving in life. I’d like to see a world where ‘experiencing challenges’ isn’t a euphemism for suffering, but rather a process of working hard towards a goal and having it pay off in the end. I want a world where living a life doesn’t mean just trying to get through it all only to find that there’s nothing waiting at the end, but to enjoy each day for what it brings. But that just isn’t possible in a world of male dominance and their female-suffering-based systems of capitalism, ‘we do it because we can’, and survival of the fittest.
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I is for Infantilization
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Although I’ve touched on this subject in other posts, I thought this would make a nice companion piece to E is for Emasculation. Emasculation is testosterone-fuelled hyperbole where men pretend that having their rapey privileges taken away or even just questioned is akin to the removal of their biological weapons of mass destruction: their cocks and balls. All men see their privilege to harm women and girls as a god or nature given right, and to even question that is a crime against manity. It’s puzzling and frankly, pathetic – if you lose your entire identity when it’s even suggested that you’re not allowed to do violence, what does that say about you and your class of creatures?
In my post, The Female Equivalent of Emasculation, I discuss whether women experience anything like what men do. My conclusion is ‘no’. In order to feel a stripping away of privilege or power, you actually have to have privilege and power, and even more importantly, you have to have them AND feel like you deserve them. Females don’t have privilege and they certainly don’t have any power, and most women don’t even feel like they deserve them, thanks to a lifetime of patriarchal brainwashing. So no, women can’t and don’t feel this unjustified and irrational rage that men often do. But they do experience something that absolutely ensures that they never will gain rights and power, let alone privilege or the feeling that they deserve anything but the suffering that is doled out in the name of male love.
So today, I is for Infantilization.
To infantilize is to constantly, and even systematically, treat women as if they are children or as less intelligent and capable than they are. It involves a whole host of language and behaviour patterns, is carried out by both men and women, and is often helped along by other patriarchal tools such as gaslighting. I’ve suggested before that infantilization is closely related to feminization, the enforcement of unnatural, gendered stereotypes that place females firmly under the male boot, ready to serve unthinkingly.
So let’s talk purpose and methods.
One could easily devote an entire book and even an entire research career to this topic. It is an international problem for over half the population, and generally seen as acceptable, if it’s noticed at all. Many men and women, including women claiming to be feminists, even consider infantilization to be sweet or sexy. But, infantilization is all about 1) transcending and erasing the boundaries of women and girls, 2) denying them power, intelligence, agency and recognition, and 3) breaking down their confidence. It starts in childhood when girls are more susceptible and vulnerable to harmful messaging. It is possible to infantilize a child by treating her as younger or less capable or less intelligent than she actually is. Boys are given free reign in all areas and bestowed with the idea that they are smarter and more talented than they truly are, while girls are protected and punished and denied the most basic freedoms and acknowledgement. By the time girls reach adulthood, they are well used to being treated like naive and even stupid children and often don’t notice that not much changes despite moving into a new phase of their lives. They are primed for heterosexual relationships and for mistreatment in the workplace.
More on the methods.
1) Transcending Boundaries
Girls are taught early on that their bodies are not their own. They are for public consumption. They see it on television, in advertisements, in the places where their clothes are bought. The entire world comments on their physical manifestation. But it comes from parents, too. The girl is over-protected and punished for things that boys can do freely. She is taught how to make her body small, to lower her voice, and silence her wants and needs. She is dressed to be consumed, not to consume or just exist. Mother presents her daughter to friends, family and relative strangers, and the girl is expected to accept being touched, held and fussed over. She is not allowed to say no as it’s rude or defiant. Denying her agency and body-privacy, mother infantilizes and thereby grooms her daughter for her future role as a compliant heterosexual fuckhole. By the time she reaches her teens and early adulthood, the average girl has little confidence, doesn’t know how to look at herself through her own eyes, and seldom holds or presents herself in a natural way in public. Out in the world, boys and men talk too much and take up more than their share of space, and she accommodates their privilege by silencing her voice and making her body smaller. Males touch her in ways they themselves would never accept, and she sees the attention as tender and loving instead of infantilizing, invasive or degrading. Males grip, and lead and force, and she goes limp, and follows, and accepts.
2) Denying Power and Capability
There are a million and one ways in which females are denied power and any acknowledgement of their achievements. I’ll discuss a few of them here.
The number one way to infantalize a woman is to focus on the physical. It might sound strange at first, as sex and sexuality are supposed to be mature or adult subjects, but in actuality, focusing on female appearance and women’s dichotomous status as either a mother or a child-free non-human, serves to infantilize women and completely ignore their achievements and actual contributions to society. Beauty is decidedly not an achievement. It is subjective and has no relevance, meaning or true value. If it had real, objective value, then men would have taken it over and made it the focus of their own lives. So it serves as a distraction and even obsession for so many girls and women, completely infantilizing them, depleting their limited finances, and turning their brains to mush. As manipulatable as children. A focus on the physical also blurs the lines between adult maturity and childhood in a sexual way, giving outlets for male pedophelia. Girls are pushed to become sexual beings and adult women regress under pressure to become more childlike and youthful in appearance. Women who eschew all things beauty and fashion-related are demonized, ostracized, and banished to a circle of hell that even Dante couldn’t conceive of.
All societies also focus on mother-worship, another non-achievement-based focus on the physical, yet considered the pinnacle of female success. The rewards women reap for getting knocked up are legion. You probably do better financially and socially if you become a mother and wife than if you go to university, and I’m not kidding. But I mean, let’s get real. How is motherhood the number one human female achievement if even cockroaches, giraffes, and mice can do it? This is infantilization – essentially, the childlike having children. And all the while, mediocre males have their career paths preserved, working mothers get maternity leave and baby showers in the workplace, and child-free women are ignored, held back, and denied opportunities and respect.
Women are also infantilized through language, either by being denied existence or by having their female status called out deliberately. The use of man, mankind or manpower is still in wide use and women are supposed to accept being adjunct, but unacknowledged, members of that group. If the tables were turned and we used ‘woman’ to describe all humans, males would start World War T (testosterone) and whine about emasculation and the pussification of society. We also refer to female doctors, but not male doctors, and on American television, female law enforcement is most often called ‘bitch cop’, which is not only infantilizing, but dehumanizing. My modern British ESL teaching materials still include words like ‘mailman’ instead of postal worker or letter carrier. And in North America, we still call female parking enforcement officers ‘meter maids’. In addition, women are regulary denied their titles that denote achievement, such as Dr. even going so far as to refer to esteemed women by their first names only. Instead, we become irrationally focused on titles denoting physical ownership status, namely Miss and Mrs., and frequently bestow diminutives, such as hon, sweetheart, beautiful, and my dear, on adult women, even in professional settings. The British even refer to elderly women, patronizingly, as ‘old dear’, while there is no infantilizing equivalent for old men.
When women demand that they be called Dr., there is often angry backlash, especially from other women. I find this puzzling as female achievement makes it easier for girls to develop professional goals and dreams and to actually have a chance at success. Higher education is a positively gruelling process, rife with misogyny and degradation, and women who have not gone through the process seem to think that educated women breathe refined air. I can tell you, as one of those educated women, that academia was in many ways, more misogynistic than other work settings I’ve experienced. I’d even go so far as to suggest that formal higher education is not necessarily the best option for women these days, unless there is a clear requirement for a specific degree. And I further suggest keeping one’s mouth shut if you are completely ignorant on a topic, especially when what is coming out of your mouth is shit directed at another woman. Anyhow, regarding language, there is no reason in the world where we need to be either linguistically sexing jobs or erasing the female sex entirely from our vocabulary. Language problems are soooo easily remedied, which makes it clear that there is a different motive for keeping things as they are. Yes, infantilization and disempowerment.
Men also constantly use their big mouths to infantilize women in another way, and this is mansplaining. I wrote a short post on this phenomenon a while back, so I’ll keep it brief here. Basically, men feel the need to talk at women. Teach them. Show them. Explain to them. But the problem is that most of the time, the woman or girl being talked at already knows. The female can be educated, skilled, intelligent, and experienced, and the male can be uneducated, unskilled, stupid, and inexperienced. And he knows all of this. But he still explains – or mansplains. It is the ultimate act of infantilization. Every single female on the planet has experienced this, usually thousands and thousands of times in her life. I’ve even had boy children do this to me. I’ve had Chinese male students try to mansplain my own language to me – even more significant as it is a very disrespectful thing to do to your teacher in Chinese culture, so there was an element of racism in there along with the infantilizing misogyny. I’ve also had a Korean man try to explain to me what arithmetic is despite the fact that I have a masters in statistics. These are only a few examples, but there are literally thousands of incidents in my life. And the more educated and skilled you are, the worse it is. Some women just accept it à la ‘we have to coddle the fragile male ego’. But I don’t. You have to be really careful though. Males are used to being able to say and do what they want to you, so reacting rationally and not in a childlike way – meaning that you challenge them – can lead to violence, and as I’ve experienced, you can lose your job and career opportunities if you dare to correct the situation.
3) Breaking Down Confidence
Research has shown again and again that females constantly underestimate their skills, abilities and intelligence, while males vastly overestimate what they can do. This is known, proveable, and we see it all the time. It is likely the number one determining factor in career success, or possibly number two, after connections (as in nepotism and Old Boys’ Clubs). We know that education and experience aren’t nearly as important as people tell us. But how well you can sell yourself, even if it’s all a lie, is. And while confidence is not always appreciated in women in the same way it is in men, an employer will still usually choose a confident woman over a hesitant or unsure one. Our world prefers shiny lies over quiet truths, so it is no wonder that men get the jobs and promotions and opportunities and recognition, and higher salaries.
It is also unsurprising that women will not only underestimate themselves, but the capabilities of other females. A woman will usually throw her support behind a demonstrably mediocre male as a potential, promising leader, than a proven, superior female. And not only is there no confidence in the women in question, but capable females will often be criticized and torn down by both men and women. You even see this in so-called ‘feminist’ communities where women discount a female voice because she is confident, outspoken, educated or appears to have a better-paying job. This is an attempt to infantilize a woman who so clearly breaks the rules about female success and confidence.
My general rule of thumb when evaluating male and female claims is this: take anything a male says about his abilities and cut it in half, and take anything a female says about herself and double it. It amazes me how many stellar, intelligent, capable, multi-talented, and over-educated women I’ve met who are barely getting by financially or who are working jobs that vastly under-utilize and under-value their skill sets. But this impacts single women and lesbians much more than married women because the latter have a husband’s income that keeps them from poverty. They don’t notice the problem unless the heterosexual contract doesn’t end up working out for them.
I can say the exact opposite of males – so many of them land well-paying jobs with opportunities for advancement and recognition despite average intelligence, laziness, lack of experience or education, and a lack of skills and capability. I believe a good part of this is due to the building up of confidence in males and the breaking down of confidence that a lifetime of infantilization inflicts on females. There are other factors that work in tandem, of course. Patriarchy is a multi-front assault on the female psyche.
What’s It All Mean?
As mentioned above, infantilization is a mechanism that serves to prevent women and girls from having power and rights and even believing that power and full human rights are possible for them. To give a female agency, confidence, and a complete sense of power over her body and life throws a wrench in the male privilege machine. Even liberal males want to maintain the illusion that some kind of equal exchange is going on, even when they know on some level that there is a power imbalance. Feel free to test this out by watching the rage flare up when you suggest to a liberal male that the so-called sex that he is having is actually consensual rape since unequal people cannot truly give consent. Men need women to depend on them for guidance, approval, and protection – the very things children require from parents. I argue that heterosexuality depends on the infantilization of women and girls, and I think it’s high time to stop dreaming about screwing your dad or grandpa. It’s time to grow up.
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E is for Emasculation
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Forgive the backtracking with another E post (I’m currently on the O’s at the time of this writing), although really, this is my blog and I can do what I damn well please. It is because I am in the throes of preparing my audio upload to YouTube of the reading of my 2021 post E is for Enabler. It might sound easy to some – just read the damn thing while recording and then throw it up on YT, but no. Actually, I take a serious look at the written post beforehand. What I didn’t appreciate on the level that I do now is that not all posts meant solely for written consumption are 100% translateable to audio. For example, I noticed a while ago that, for some reason, I developed a bit of a weakness for parentheses, and I’ve been trying to weed myself off them in my writing for a lot of obvious reasons. So since starting to record audio, I’ve been taking a closer look at my existing posts and have been doing a little editing to make the writing more ‘readable’. A long time ago, I published an academic book in Taiwan with the help of a major publishing company that ended up screwing me financially, but I learned a lesson: everyone needs an editor. But when you’re writing for free as a hobby of sorts, you are both the writer and the editor. It’s an imperfect system, and all writing needs fresh eyes to improve.
Anyhow, as I’ve been going through the E is for Enabler post, I realized that I really needed to write something about an absolutely fabulous E-word that is near and dear to my heart, probably because of the special shears that I keep by my front door to enforce my separatist principles. Just joking! Or am I…? Oh, don’t be so sensitive.
So, what was I saying?
E is for Emasculation
Now, apparently, I wrote and published what should actually be a companion piece to this one back in 2020, and I’ll include bits and pieces of it here. In that article, I ask whether there is a female equivalent to emasculation. Hint: the answer is no. So, read on, explorers!
What the hell is emasculation? I know, it seems a bit obvious, especially because men are constantly moaning about their feelings and how everything is women’s fault.
In the most literal sense, it means castration – full on twig and berries removal. Men are very emotional when it comes to their junk – they take their feelings about their genitals as seriously as they do actual harm to their bodies. It is not an exaggeration to imagine a physician asking a wounded male: “Should we remove the bullet from your brain or save your partially severed left nut first?” with most men responding by looking south. You get the ‘special shears’ joke now, right? Male testeria is kinda hilarious and absolutely begging for satire – but also really dangerous as their insanity is always backed by the law.
But males don’t mean literal castration when they speak of emasculation. As with everything, it is always about their unstable psychology, insecurity and hair-trigger feelings. So, within the realm of male sensitivity, we’ve got the following definition of emasculation:
the reduction or removal of a man’s sense of masculinity, as by depriving him of a culturally sanctioned male role or the exercise of male privilege.
A few things here with this male definition. First, the use of ‘depriving’. The implication is that there is fault on the part of the other party – the one not experiencing the feelings, and that party is always female. Women and girls don’t deprive males of ANYTHING; they can’t as they are of the prey class and ALL males are historically and currently part of the oppressor/predator class. Saying ‘no’ to what amounts to misogynistic treatment by the male, is not deprivation in any way, shape or form. The second missing thing is that, following feeling deprived by women and girls, men believe that what is warranted is violent vengeance against their target. So basically, male becomes unhinged of his own doing, finds a female target to blame, and then victimizes her in a self-sanctioned rage. Sound familiar? We’ve all been at the receiving end of some form of violence because of some male’s glimpse into his own obsolescence and inadequacy. Let’s talk about the triggers of feelings of emasculation and then a bit about punishment.
The Triggers
Words
I’ve written about the selective censorship of women in a past post. Generally, women and girls are only allowed to speak if they are upholding male descriptions of reality and belief systems. Men don’t like hearing things that challenge their world view or even worse, oppose their domination and control of females. Any attempt to uphold an opinion or argument, to correct errors or lies, to assert or reclaim power or control over her own life are dangerous for a woman when dealing with men. Even the word ‘no’ can send men into a spiral of rage. We’re seeing frightening proof of male power and insanity these days among men pretending to be women. They are destroying the lives of countless women throughout the Western world for very logically and simply publicly speaking unassailable biological truths that males cannot be female. It defies understanding in what is supposed to be a ‘progressive’ world, but it is more proof positive that males are still male, no matter what they are feeling or wearing. And in all situations, it comes down to this: in the male mind, women’s words strip him of his perceived right to do whatever the fuck he wants to them. Often, women have no idea what they have said to inspire the insanity that inevitably results. But in truth, they have said nothing wrong and don’t deserve punishment.
Actions
A woman doesn’t even need to open her mouth to offend the fragile emotional state of a man. Males, even liberal males, believe they are owed deference and respect by all women and girls, although what this behaviour actually entails differs from male to male and from culture to culture. I’ve experienced male attacks numerous times for not acting correctly or being adequately submissive or deferential, although most of the time, I think I, and most women, are attacked because of the last two categories. Most women are too afraid to say or do ‘wrong’ things when it comes to males. The other two categories are passive in that you don’t even have to be aware of doing anything specific to be targeted for causing feelings of inadequacy in males.
An example of emasculating behaviour may include looking at a male with disgust or derision or fear. I think of the complaints of black males or of homeless men who get super pissed when women act like they are afraid of them. The women are attacked with accusations of racism or classism and the like. Of course. However, women should be allowed to be afraid of males for obvious reasons and without having to justify their behaviour. Every one of us is assaulted by a male at least once in our lives. But showing that justifiable fear, can for some men, take opportunities for power and control away from them. The retaliation can help reclaim this lost power. And male feelings are always more important than women’s human right to be and feel safe. And we are seeing similar backlash against women who have stood up to men trying to use women’s bathrooms and change rooms. I really believe that these men don’t truly believe they are women; they are just getting off on forcing women to accept having their boundaries and privacy and human rights destroyed. The utimate male power and control. And nothing a woman does to ‘inspire’ male insecurity and the inevitable backlash is wrong or deserving of punishment.
Reflecting
One of the objects men turn women into is that of a mirror. We exist to let men bask in their own reflections. The problem is that sometimes, men don’t like what they see looking back at them. Looking to a woman to validate them, in other words, doesn’t always work, epecially if she isn’t applauding enough, or smiling enough, or if the male in question isn’t feeling good enough about himself to believe the lie of his amazingness. He sometimes just looks at the woman and sees her completeness, which reflects back his own incompleteness as a male. He feels a loss of standing or power. It’s enough to inspire his rage at her. She has done nothing wrong and doesn’t deserve punishment.
Existing
Most men don’t even need an excuse to attack or punish women. All men are misogynists, even if they claim that they’re not, and all men benefit from misogyny, even if they don’t see how. Some men are more dangerous than others and may even believe that females deserve to be punished for existing or that the punishment is just the ‘suffering’ that seems to be part of what all major religions proscribe for females, and as males, they must do their part to enact their god’s plan. So for some men, it goes like this: see woman, feel the existential male insecurity, feel the rage burn, direct the rage to woman, enact the rage. Repeat ad nauseam.
In various times and places, we’ve seen men’s rights groups start up that seem to be fuelled by this notion that female existence is a threat to masculinity. Not that they want to get rid of women. First, masculinity would no longer be a thing, as it exists as a social construct only because there are two sexes. Likely, if women disappeared, men would still follow their biological wiring to dominate and control and create a caste system, with an underclass, among men (discussed in this post here). It wouldn’t be peaceful.
Black American men have an expression – walking while black – that actually is a much more appropriate, serious and pervasive thing for women and it exists on every inch of our planet instead of only in select areas of the US. Walking while a woman (WWW) can end up in your death, your rape, your beating, your sexual assault, your stalking, and more. And much of the time, these 3W experiences are the result of males feeling emasculated because of your existence, your presence, the way you are dressed, the way you do or don’t look at them – ANYTHING. What you do or don’t do doesn’t actually matter. You have no control over men’s feelings, but they project their anger and insecurity on you. You, as a woman, are responsible for everything wrong in their lives, and your very existence highlights their inadequacy and incompleteness.
Every single female on this planet has experienced this at least once, and usually thousands of times over her lifetime. We are used to it and most don’t even notice it. And many learn to deal with this constant threat by developing the skill to placate, to coddle, to make excuses for, to self-harm, to enable and to act as a ‘flying monkey’
Existing does not equate to doing something wrong and no female deserves punishment for being alive.
The Punishment
There is always punishment. I’m going to say one thing here, and I’m going to bet that most if not all women would agree if they were honest with themselves. With one or two extreme exceptions, I’ve never seen a woman act as batshit crazy as a man. I’ve never seen a woman overreact like a man does. I’ve never seen the kind of emotionality and rage in a woman that I’ve seen in so many men – and women actually have real reasons to be angry, and even burn-the-city-down rageful. Standard male behaviour is a sign of their sex-based immaturity, lack of control, irrationality, instability and insanity, and it is incomprehensible that males are allowed free reign in this world. They have projected their own flaws onto women, and then have used them as the ‘rational’ basis for keeping women out of all areas of public life and power. And I say this to men, if women truly behaved as you actually do and chose to act on injustices done to them by you, you’d all be dead, and by your standards, the homicides would be justifiable. Think of how men act when a woman denies him something. Then think about all the times men have denied women a human right. If we acted like men do, all males would be dead. Every. Single. One. But we are female. We are the mature ones, the controlled ones, the rational ones, the stable ones, and the sane ones. Males exist to punish and women exist to be punished. The punishments can entail anything that the creative male mind can conceive of, and in the Western world, women are even being sold the idea that being punished is sexy.
Conclusion and a Note on Male Privilege
The claim of emasculation is a statement of privilege. The sheer number of privileges and advantages that males have over females is astounding, especially when you consider that so many people believe that males and females are ‘equal’ now and some people even believe we live in some kind of ‘matriarchy’. It is even crazy to think that any other oppression can even compare to that of females by males. It partially explains why so many other oppressions are championed these days – there isn’t that much to fight, comparatively speaking. I strongly suggest that you have a look at this massive, but incomplete list of privileges that males enjoy. There are 79 of them – and I can add another one to make a round 80. The privilege to be praised for supporting feminism, or perhaps more succinctly, the privilege to own feminism. Women are attacked for pointing out misogyny, and even for devoting their lives to liberating women. The list I’ve provided (a pdf hosted on my site, but with an attribution to the ‘original’ poster) was compiled by a man and published on his popular and applauded ‘male feminist’ website (including linking to one of my articles outlining the hate that leftie atheist men have towards all women). All of the material was taken from or contributed by women and feminists, and all of these women have been criticized and attacked and worse for writing this material. And this male gets a big fucking round of applause for supporting feminism, even though he is just listing the work that WOMEN have done. Please stop sucking these men’s dicks. Please support women – the actual women doing the difficult work that helps us all.
So, a conclusion to the conclusion: male feelings of emasculation are not oppression. They are infantile and they are borne of misogyny. When a man feels emasculated, he believes you are taking away his millennia-long right to hurt, dominate, and control you as a member of sub-class female. You never need to be sorry for speaking, acting or existing.
This post is part of the Alphabet Series, and will also be included in the Conversations with Men series.
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An Unusual, but Badly Needed, Instance of Public Pushback Against Trans Tyranny in Canada
I’ve been trying to limit my news intake to about once a week lately. The headlines are repetitive and clickbaity, catering to today’s keyboard social justice warrior who tends to spend more time in the comments sections of articles than actually reading the published content. Myself, I want information, not sensation/entertainment, so news offers little. But this is no new disappointment as I lost any faith I had left that the news was about anything other than ratings/money a long time ago. An apolitical news agency is about as hard to find as an objective scientist these days. Just as people used to argue for a separation of church and state in the past, we need to start arguing for a separation of capitalism from media and science today. Some things just don’t mix well.
Anyhoo, today was my news perusing day – which I consider to be more of a snorkelling expedition than a deep dive, cuz who wants to risk the bends, right? – and I noticed a strange and interesting article concerning the collision of a number of my shitlist topics: trannies, Canada, and to a lesser extent, International Women’s Day. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know my stance on trannyism. And you may also know that I am a long-term Canadian expat, mostly for financial reasons – I just can’t afford to live there as a single, child-free woman who doesn’t fuck men. But if I had money, I don’t think I would live there anyway, simply for ideological reasons. Canada is an anti-woman, pro-tranny stronghold, for one, but leadership has made a number of questionable ethical decisions of late in the foreign policy department. International Women’s Day? Well, for me, it is kind of like Earth Day – an opportunity to publicly and smugly pretend you are a good person by virtue signalling about how much you care about the issue without having to change any of your behavioural or lifestyle habits. These days require no sacrifices, self-analysis or true change, and everybody can go back to what they were doing the very next day. And feel the self-righteousness of contributing to ‘progress’.
The article spoke about a recent ad issued by Hershey’s Canada ‘honouring’ International Women’s Day by featuring a trans ‘woman’. The gist of the article was that the shit (perhaps Hershey’s garbage chocolate itself?) was hitting the fan for the company due to public outcry for the slap in the face to womankind. This man was supposed to represent progress for women, in other words, and people weren’t having it. After reading the first bit, I had to stop for a moment. We’re talking about Canada, right? I can’t think of a more pro-trans country. I can’t think of a country that has done more to destroy women in the name of men in dresses. Canada censors women, destroys women’s businesses, careers and non-profits, puts rape victims at risk, allows hate speech against women, supports blatant threats of violence and rape against women by trans in publicly funded exhibits, and a whole lot more. Are Canadians finally ready to fight back against this very dangerous and violent, tiny minority of extremely powerful men? It is hard for me to believe/imagine. I’m including a link to a pdf of one of the less biased articles, as it will likely be censored in the future – we are nowhere near ‘peak trans’, alas. Many publications have painted the ‘backlash’ against Hershey’s as hate. And there are lots of sad feelz quotes by trans who think feminism and trans rightsism are compatible and are deeply disturbed that women are not supporting trans. Yes, men get disturbed when women don’t support them. Funnily enough, PinkNews claims that ‘far right’ groups are pushing back, which of course, is how TRA’s tend to brand anyone who points out reality, even in a completely apolitical way.
So I am suspicious of what is happening, knowing how Canada operates. I’ve had the displeasure of living in California, which is as close to Canadian craziness as you’re ever going to find in the US. I wrote about how Women’s History Month was met with silence on my college campus in central California a few years ago. I just can’t imagine a serious response to the trans takeover, especially in areas of life that matter. Hershey’s chocolate just isn’t that good, so it would be no real loss if they left Canada. If you risk losing your job or home because of opposition to the trans, you’ll likely say nothing and let your daughter lose opportunities and scholarships to boys as has always happened throughout history.
But there is a glimmer, I suppose, and a badly needed one. One day, trans will make a wrong move, and the camel’s back will finally break. It just won’t be chocolate that does it, I suspect.
~~~
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A Glimmer of Sanity in a Trans-Psychotic World
Happy 2022, everyone! I haven’t written in a while, although not on purpose, but I figured I’d send out some good news. We need it, especially as we grimly face the start of year 3 of COVIDapalooza; the fall-out from Jewish eugenicist and sex-trafficker, Jeffrey Epstein’s life of rape and privilege; and the continuing slow slide into non-human status for Western women thanks to the political left.
In short, a group of private girls’ schools in the UK is refusing to accept trannie dude’s applications. They refuse to see biological males as females and state that accepting trannies means that they will no longer be same-sex schools. Logic! Reason! Facts! In the UK!?! How is this possible? How have they not been literally, nevermind politically and economically, killed by the trans cult yet? How has the government not shut them down yet, especially as this is a GIRLS’ school? The West is currently trampling girls’ rights in a way strangely parallel to how fundamentalist Muslims in Afghanistan (among many other countries) attack girls’ schools for allowing the girls to even attend. Women are losing their jobs in many Western countries just for correctly stating that biological sex is an unassailable fact – but these schools are left intact? Hey, I’m not criticizing them or trying to appear clever. I’m glad this is happening. I don’t even give a shit about the fact that they are private and cater to people with money – I’m not an asshole who intentionally overlooks the amazingness and potential influence of this situation in order to score points with the woke gender-critical set who can’t see the forest for the trees. The reality is that it is the people with power/money who need to step up when rights are being trampled. Who gives a shit that most people can’t afford to attend this school, myself included. It is very difficult for individuals (especially women) and beholden groups (aka government-funded entities) to accomplish much politically, especially if the targets of oppression are women and girls. So, I urge you to feel inspired by this group of schools – a small archipelago in a sea of sharks in tutus and tiaras yet with rock-hard rape-sticks. If these folks can hold their ground against one of the most dangerous and psychotic groups of people to come on the scene in a very long time, then there is hope for everyone else.
An interesting part of this is the sub-group of trannies being addressed here – the applicants, themselves, rather than their fucking nutso supporters. It’s not the scary adult autogynophilic rapist woman-hating sub-group. or the pathetic homophobic, woman-hating closeted and in-denial gay/lesbian sub-group, or the sad and terrified I-don’t-want-to-be-raped-or-harassed girls sub-group. We’re talking the ROGBs. And they are the most easily helped, especially if you don’t enable their bullshit. And likely, the group of schools in question is well aware of this modern psychological and social problem. ROGB or rapid-onset gender dysphoria, or what I like to cal Tik-Tok, Dick+Frock disorder is a standard teenaged mental health problem set in modern times. It’s considered controversial, but it’s actually rather straightforward and super easy to figure out, and thus, not controversial at all. Basically, teeny-boppers – people at their most gullible, inexperienced, naive, temperamental and hormonal – are spending too much unsupervised time on social media, and are being influenced by unsupervised, ‘cool’ idiots online. And guess what happens when you are a typical miserable teenager? You look for ways to fit in and feel better. So you end up doing really stupid shit in order to feel totally different, while ironically completely conforming. For most, this kind of bullshit works its way out of your system after your brain matures fully, your hormones calm down and you get the fuck away from your parents 😉 There is often more than a little embarrassment felt at the memory of what we thought and did during our teen years. But my point here is that the school has sensibly decided not to enable this kind of nonsense and to protect their girls at the same time. Let’s hope the government, urged/coerced by violent social activists, doesn’t rain hell upon this group of schools for their bravery and rationality. There is a possibility that the loophole they are relying upon that born male kids are not ‘legally’ female even if they claim they are female could be eliminated, thus forcing a change in admittance. But the school, and more importantly, the girls, seem safe, at this point. This article came out today (January 2) and insanity could still reign if trannie-boy-moms and the larger violent and unstable activist set gets their way.
Speculation aside, today’s news is the kind of Christmas present and New Year’s Tidings I can get excited about.
(btw, I’m including a pdf version available here – besides the link to the original above – of this article in case the Daily Mail is forced to take it down. I’ve learned that anything can happen… here is the link.)
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J is for Joke
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Well, jumpin’ Jehoshaphat, I nearly lost my head there for a mo’. I had started writing my K-post, and then luckily realized early enough that I wasn’t yet finished writing my jeremiad – my J-post.
Anyhow, I blame it on the very recent, record-breaking heat wave we’ve had here in BC. I was living in a tiny, windowless room with debateable ‘ventilation’ from a pipe that supposedly brought in air from outdoors during a week of 40+°C (104°F for Imperial types) – it was a fucking oven, and my brain cooked. I hate Canada and the capitalism that operates under ‘socialism’ here. Money-grubbing and liveable conditions don’t go together. Anyhow (to nip a new jeremiad in the bud), welcome to the Alphabet Series, and today, J is for Joke.
Before I jump in, I did consider a few other J-words before settling on Joke. J is for justice (briefly considered in part of the last post I is for Innocence, where we find out by and for whom exactly the justice system is designed – and it ain’t women); joy (wait for my upcoming book, The Joy of Man-Hating!), judgement (or judgment if you’re American, although no matter how you spell it, all girls and women know this word and the whole ‘screwed no matter which of the equally shitty options I choose’ situation very well! If I feminize, I’m judged; if I don’t feminize, I’m judged. Ad infinitum.) J is also for… jism or jizz, which I wish I knew nothing about – one of those slang words of unknown origin, but which originally meant ‘energy’ back in 1842. Sadly, there is a Bollywood movie called ‘Jism’, which is apparently an erotic thriller, and I have no intention of seeing it, as much as I find the elaborate dancing scenes of Bollywood film to be entertaining and oddly come-join-innable.
I am not going to delve into the content of male humour too much in this post. Rather, I want to get into the ‘just a joke’ mechanism that men use as a get-out-of-jail-free card when they deliberately offend, intimidate, and/or threaten women, especially in public or the workplace. Don’t be fooled by the feigned ignorance and innocence that they pull following your negative reaction to their words or behaviour. All males know exactly what they are doing when they target women for abuse. If a woman dares to call out a male for some misogynistic comment or gesture, or blatant hate speech, he’ll just whip out the whole ‘Jeez, why are you so sensitive? Can’t you take a joke?’ stance. The woman always ends up looking stupid or crazy or troublesome, and can even be blacklisted in workplaces because she is being antagonistic or unstable or unprofessional. Most women will, as per their lifelong training, laugh along with the rape and cheap ho’ jokes, and the feminazi will find herself alone and ostracized.
This ‘just a joke’ mechanism works similarly to alcohol, and to a lesser extent, drug intoxication, where you see men-under-the-influence avoid responsibility for rapes and other sexual assaults they commit. You see, there is a whole series of safeguards built into our patriarchal social and workplace cultures that allow males to push boundaries and shift responsibility for their aggression, persecution and outright crimes onto their victims if they are caught. It’s psychological warfare, and it is effective in dividing and destroying women.
Having said that, what I really want to get at today is another aspect of male jokery. I want to use an example to demonstrate that even when males and females face, what on the surface, looks to be a similar issue, it is usually a much more serious problem for the females. And males, comparatively unthreatened, although possibly a little bothered or inconvenienced, will treat the issue as a joke. They’ll even go so far as to criticize women for taking the issue too seriously, and to turn women’s reactions to the problem themselves as an additional joke.
There are a million and one examples to choose from, but I’ll focus on one that comes from an article published earlier this year (in 2021) by The Right Scoop, an established conservative political and media news blog based in my own country, and that skates just below the edge of general acceptability for reliability and bias according to the Media Bias Chart put out by Ad Fontes Media. As a sidenote, I read all sorts of stuff, liberal, conservative, weird, wonderful, and truly fucked. You have to get out of your comfort zone if you have any hope of having something to write about. I’m not male, you see, so I don’t enjoy circle jerks 😉
I have a copy of the article and some of the comments you can access here on my site. If you want to see all the comments, google the magazine name and “gay campground” and that should get you where you need to go. I try not to link to sites like that directly for obvious reasons.
The basic points of the article – and it is basically a re-quoting of a Queerty article sandwiched by two tiny, original paragraphs – are a) to point out a ‘problem’ – that a small group of trans men (aka women who pretend they are men) got pissy for being banned from a gay-male-only campground, b) to criticize liberals and liberal politicking, and c) to make fun of the constantly devolving LGBXYZ community.
The comments following the article are, as often is the case, just as illustrative as the article, but perhaps from another angle. My link provides enough of the comments to get the point across, but if you love comments sections, google and head on over to the original article to get ’em all.
What you’ll notice from the Queerty article is that the gay male perspective on the trannie issue, while on the surface or without consideration might seem to be a general homosexual problem, isn’t. Gay men are not women and the issues they face with ‘trans men’ (again, aka women) are not the same as what lesbians face with ‘trans women’ (aka men). Gay males generally don’t take trans males seriously – I mean, they are women, and gay males don’t take any women seriously. We are jokes or usable objects, as it is. And women don’t pose a threat to men, on the whole. What the gay dudes see as the main problem is that a gay campground is going to be sex-oriented (big surprise, eh?) and they only want to see dick – REAL DICK – flopping about here and there. They don’t want to see pussy and they definitely don’t want some frankensteinesque frank and beans in their faces. Seriously, man! Come on! Men have problems! And this one is big and hard (or not…?)
The comments, mostly, but not only, by conservative men, turn the whole thing into a joke, even bringing in hilarious comments about lesbians and males in women’s spaces. Complete ignorance about what trans means to women, especially lesbians. There is the requisite reference to feminazis, and a few more rational comments about the gay community not being what it once was, sadly. But the general air is that this is a laughable issue.
Now, for women, trans identified males are a different matter. Lesbians and gay men do share one thing – forcing them to uphold ‘inclusivity’ is an infringement of their rights and freedoms as minorities. I don’t have a problem with closed groups, minority or not. This isn’t the same thing as preventing women from being in the workforce or paying women less than men (wait, that STILL is an issue – and we’re quibbling over the hurt feelings of trans banned from social groups!!!??? Jezus christ.) But that is where the similarities between gay and lesbian problems end. Women, lesbians in particular, have to deal with males who are trans-identified, and we don’t need reminding that no matter what a dude is wearing, he still has the inbuilt, violent, woman-hating, rapey, impulsivity and dominance problem. Tranny males are still super aggressive and scary fuckers. They also go tranny for different reasons than women do, and a lot of it for the males is sexually-motivated entitlement and perversion and mental illness and wanting to dominate. Their approach to penetrating women’s groups has been through aggression, threats, and outright violence. Trans men have not been beating up gay men or raining terror down on them. Trans women have been hurting and threatening and erasing women, however. We know from data, that their rates of violence mirror that of non-tranny men, despite any hormones they take or brain differences that they say they have.
So bottom line here is that like every shared problem that males and females may have, for women, there is always an extra threat of violence and danger, physically and sexually. And that is simply because males, regardless of whatever disadvantages they may have are all still members of the master class, the predator class, the weaponized class, the rapist class. And females are ALL members of the oppressed class, the colonized class, the prey class, the raped class – a dynamic that has existed since human time began. And you can apply this to anything – women are always more at risk than men. Homelessness – more of a threat to women. Death of a spouse in a traditional het relationship – more of a threat to women. Travelling alone. Surviving a natural disaster. Living in a warzone. Speaking out in public. All of these situations are much more threatening for females because of lack of social, political, economic and legal resources. And because of rape and the threat of rape. Yet, despite the fact that on some level, every person knows this is true, when women face problems, they are often joked about. Even acknowledged dangers and risks and possible outcomes become jokes. Rape is a joke. Even when not specifically talking about a political or social issue, rape and sexual violence against women are a source of yuks and bonding for men.
Some women may write off the joking in the same way that they write off men’s ogling and wandering eyes. They ‘need it’ or ‘they can’t help it’ or ‘they are oppressed’ or ‘they are visual people’ or ‘they cover up emotion and insecurity with jocularity’, or whatever fuckery they come up with to justify maintaining their cosy trauma bonds with oppressors. But it is because of this enabling coupled with what I would say is the predator’s natural inability to empathize, that women’s ‘issues’ will never be taken seriously, will remain a source of joke material and will continue to invalidate a class of people. I mean really, what could be funnier than watching a woman’s overreaction when you jump out at her and scare the shit out of her? When you don’t live with a physical and sexual threat hanging over you 24/7, like all females do, how could you not see their crazy reactions as laugh-worthy? If it doesn’t affect you, then it is funny. If it doesn’t affect you in a way that will hurt you physically, sexually, legally, or financially, then it is downright hilarious.
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Just Call Her Crazy
Every so often, I get a flurry of traffic to this site (or more frequently, a particular post) from the manosphere. I don’t consider myself a mover or shaker in the feminist world, nor has it ever been my goal or expectation to be so. I’m not an activist, I don’t for a minute think I, or anyone else, for that matter, can make the world better. I don’t promote myself or advertise, and I don’t allow comments on this blog. I write for myself, primarily, and secondly, I’m out there for anyone else looking for reality-oriented, non-mainstream, woman-centred writing, especially that talking about issues NO ONE will touch because they don’t fit into today’s political agenda. There are very few true female liberationists these days, alas. So basically, I’m small beans, and that’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it.
But, like I said, every once in a while, I’m found, and it tickles me. Sometimes, the referrees are proud, semi-literate, and rather low-intelligence misogynists, such as those from rationalwiki (site that tries to debunk pseudoscience, which I approve of, and to destroy feminists, which I don’t, but these are insecure males, so what do you expect…?) or kiwifarms (internet cretins of the ‘chan’ variety; mom’s-basement-dwellers). Occasionally, I’m referred to on more mainstream liberal ‘feminist’ sites, such as Feminist Current. And then every so often, I show up on some obscure political sub-thread on one social media site or another.
And I say welcome. I don’t personally care whether people agree with me or not because it is important to be exposed to other viewpoints. The vast majority of people don’t realize (or don’t want to acknowledge) that is not possible for a women’s liberationist to have a voice on mainstream social media. We are immediately censored if we don’t virtue signal, or support male agendas (especially if they are ‘oppressed’ groups of males), or suggest that women are oppressed – or these days, just state the most basic fact that women are human females and you can’t opt into or out of that category. So I suppose some are surprised when they head on over to this site and suddenly find my viewpoint, which they certainly won’t read anywhere in the e-homes (especially Reddit or Facebook) where they normally spend their time. And I think some of these folks are probably disappointed that they are not allowed to drop turds in the form of comments, letting me know that I am ‘wrong’ or ‘confused’ or:
CRAZY.
As well as your male-supporting mother and male-dominated society, including school, the police, entertainment, etc.
Yeah, crazy. Super logical argumentation technique that I call ad feminem (because it only applies to women, thus not ‘hominem’). People – men AND male-supporting, heterosexual women call women like me ‘crazy’ all the time. It isn’t anything new. Throughout history and across cultures, men have done a whole host of horrible things to women who haven’t fallen in line, who haven’t behaved correctly and like other women who haven’t agreed with everything males say, who have spoken publicly about the reality that everyone knows exists but won’t acknowledge, and ultimately who have scared them in some way. That has not changed in millennia. And it is effective. Women are the only group of people on earth who can have their entire existence dismissed with the application of a single word, a single categorization. She is ‘crazy’, therefore, you should ignore every single word she says or writes. Calling a woman ‘crazy’ can even effectively negate any victimhood she experiences, especially if it is a sex crime (hate crime), and especially if it is committed by an Oppressed Male ™.
In reality, very few women are actually what could be defined as ‘crazy’. And of the women who have been punished and continue to be labelled and punished, I’d bet you that few to none are clinically crazy. Frustrated, angry, questioning, yes. And outspoken. And that is what this really comes down to. Like I wrote in a past post about the criticism of female voices (see the Shrill section of Shrill, Bitter, Humourless, Prudish Man-Hater), it is all about trying to silence women who speak truth or who fight for female human rights. Things all males and all racial and religious groups are allowed to do and have and be. In Western cultures, ‘crazy’ women have fought so hard to win freedom from waterboarding on dunking stools, being forced to wear Scold’s Bridles (imagine wearing 14 lbs of metal fixed to your head with a spiked metal prong forced into your mouth for hours on end), stripped and paraded through town strapped to a dung wagon, etc. We aren’t taught about women’s slavery and torture through history in our own culture, so people assume that white women were born ‘free’. Nope. My foremothers – the craziest of the ‘crazy’, hated by all – are the reason the woman-hating, cock-sucking dudettes of today have the freedom that they DO have (and who still choose to be with men and criticize outspoken women…). And yet, women still aren’t free to speak. Women are still censored. Women are still called ‘crazy’. Often with no prompting at all, but especially when they dare to talk about women’s history, women’s current status, women’s liberation, rape statistics, the fact that 99% of violent crime is committed by men and that it might suggest that there is a biological basis for that universally observed fact, and more.
To not enthusiastically say ‘yes’ to men and everything they STILL think they deserve to take and have from women is to be crazy. And in all honesty, if you look at some of the shit these labellers believe in themselves, you start wondering if they themselves are the crazy ones.
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D is for Diversity
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
And so we are on to D of the Alphabet Series, and though my posts are usually helped along with a little bit of D is for Drinking, I’m doing this one stone cold sober. And I’m choosing a different D word. There are so many delightful words to choose from. To name a handful, D is for disease, dick (and all the fun words you can make with it), deprogramming, double standard, delusion, domination, degradation, danger, death penalty, doormat, double D’s, damsel in distress, death, and more.
But no, I’m choosing one that, if I had a shit list for overused and obnoxious words from the year 2020, diversity would be on it and near the top. And at the rate things are going, it’ll be on my 2021 shit list as well. Oh, hell, who am I kidding – I DO have a word shit list. It’s on my About This Site page that I wrote back in 2015 when I started this blog, and which I’ve been updating over the years as I find yet more people I have no desire to interact with. There, you’ll find a word/phrase shit list (under Reason Number 2 why I don’t allow comments on this blog) made up of liberal / po-mo goober-speak. And my d-word has been on the list for a few years now.
D is for Diversity.
Now, I don’t want to give the impression that I think diversity is a bad thing. Not at all. But like with most things, I embrace the natural, and abhor the forced. Natural diversity is an awesome thing, and I’ll spend a little time talking about that. Then I’ll get to the problematic shit: the forced and unnatural (intentional and unintentional) diversity. If you’ve read anything from my sexuality series, you’ll know I believe that the human male, in his need to control and destroy in the name of love, creativity, and curiosity (but which is really just arrogance, ignorance, selfishness, sadism and a quest for power at all cost), has ended up forcing a lot of unnatural conditions. Diversity is only one of these situations.
So let’s get to it, and in the name of flowers and sunshine and happy stuff, let’s talk about the positives, first. Natural diversity.
Natural Diversity
During the second half of 2019, while I was embarking on the risky adventure of leaving employment in China for unemployment in not-China, I found myself enrolled in a community college Bachelor transfer program in the US. I’m not going to get into that whole bizarro experience in this post, but looking at it now, a year after the school thing fell apart due to the pandemic, I regret choosing the US over France, which was the other option I’d had at the time. But there were glimmers of excellence – there always are, even in the shittiest of circumstances. One of these glimmers was the fall semester I spent in an Ecology course. I’ll admit that I only took the class because I was forced to take electives – don’t get me started on one-size-fits-all models of education… – but luckily, the instructor was stellar and loved her subject area, and ecology, at least, was related to my major. It’s actually a subject everyone should study at the very least online and for free (I highly recommend Coursera for free courses in many different subject areas. And while there, do a quick search on ‘ecology’ to see what they have going on.)
One of the key concepts in ecology and related disciplines is biodiversity, which very basically, means variety of life (species). Biodiversity is the hallmark of a healthy ecosystem, meaning the greater the number and variety of species naturally cohabiting in a region, the healthier the area, ecologically speaking. Greater biodiversity equals better adaptation to threats (e.g., human fuckery, natural disasters, etc.) There are several well-known, and mostly poorly conserved, biodiversity hotspots around the world – I’ve pulled a map and legend from the World Wildlife Fund (I’ve enlarged it – and you can click it for the full size) that shows unique and/or rich biodiversity zones around the world.
(Click to Enlarge)
The key thing to remember is that when we talk about biodiversity, we are talking about the natural. Things grow where conditions are optimal for their biology, and Nature has her way of keeping populations in check. The forager-food / predator-prey foodchain is one of these common systems of balance-keeping. Adaptation is another effective system – change to accommodate things happening in the environment, or die out. And these natural balancing mechanisms work extremely well with all but one species, and I’ll give you a billion imaginary dollars – golden feminist turds, if you prefer – if you can guess which one 😉 Which brings me to the less-pleasant-to-contemplate portion of this post.
Unnatural and Forced Diversity – Male Greed, Ignorance and Hubris
It is natural and biological for human males to brutalize and destroy. They do it in the name of creativity, problem-solving, exploration, and they even try to explain it away as ‘survival’. Very few call it what it really is: the quest for power and control.
So, building on this, let’s say you have a beautifully functioning system. I’m talking about natural, bio systems primarily, but you can apply this to any system you can imagine. Then you introduce human males into the system. In less time than it takes to say “hot mess of the scrotal variety”, you will find a massive dick-shaped wrench thrown into what was originally a well-oiled machine. And while some systems (biological ones, especially) will work things out over time if left alone, they NEVER get the chance to do so for two reasons. First, it is written into male DNA to mess with things, even if told not to in no uncertain terms. They fiddle, they diddle, they poke, they prod, they take, and they kill, and then they shrug it all off. And while utterly self-congratulatory about this fiddling, diddling, poking, prodding, taking and killing, they NEVER actually make things better. And second, males are always trying to deny their obsolescence – in other words, instead of making things better for the majority, they deliberately create problems so that they have something to fix or to ‘overcome’. If there are no problems to apply their maniliness to, then why the hell do they exist? Males dictated long ago the purpose of Woman – to breed and service men, and most women are too afraid and brainwashed to question this MANmade cage – but males have never really answered their own existential question. And this is what every single one of them wrestles with over the span of his life. And we all know what happens when males lack purpose and develop angst. They get really insecure and emotional, and take it out on women and the planet in the worst way they can manage. Sometimes, this destruction becomes a ‘purpose’. After all, for some, even god has a violent plan, right?
So, let’s dig deeper and look at intentional and unintentional unnatural diversity next, and then we’ll finish by addressing forced diversity and its evil twin: inclusivity. I’ll also address forced lack of diversity or forced uniformity. This won’t be comprehensive, but I’ll provide examples to illustrate what I’m talking about. Likely, people will become offended for one reason or another, even though I am just outlining observable phenomena and sometimes the personal experiences of myself and others. Try to hang in til the end.
1a) Unintentional, Unnatural Diversity
One of the best ways to illustrate this type of unnatural diversity is through the idea of invasive species, and despite not intending to cause problems, humans (most often men) are usually the reason it happens. Increased global travel over the centuries, and especially in the last century, has meant that travel vessels as well as import-export goods and shipping containers have been exposed to plants, sea creatures, insects, and animals in one place and then have moved on to another place. Plants, critters (and their offspring), and the various diseases and microorganisms that depend on these larger beings can ‘catch a ride’ and suddenly find themselves in a new ecosystem. Organisms that manage to survive the voyage and then find themselves undiscovered, released into the wild, AND without any natural predators to hunt them down can easily begin to take over the local flora and fauna. Ironically, an invasive species, while initially increasing biodiversity, technically, usually ends up causing a lack of diversity, and in some cases, serious ecosystem destruction.
On the human diversity side of things, I’d argue very strongly that complete denial about how racist, sexist, religious men operate coupled with lax border control and weak liberal politics over the last few decades in Western Europe have led to the massive influx of aggressive, but ‘oppressed’, Muslim male migrants and refugees of various ethnicities. This tidal wave has resulted in a diversity situation with unintended, semi-“invasive species” consequences. And note here, that it is not women who are the problem. The majority of refugees are female, as women are always the majority of victims of war, and they must be supported – although, I’d prefer only to allow their daughters to accompany them – not sons, for obvious reasons. Males, on the other hand, regardless of whether they are migrants or refugees, are always problematic and bring their local brand of misogyny and violence with them to the countries that welcome and support them and allow them to practise their woman-hating religions freely. One of the major problems is that young, single males visit a heap of sexual assault on local and tourist white women. And likely, out of fear of being labelled ‘islamophobes’, no one does anything about it. It’s only women being assaulted after all. Not humans.
***One prime example was the rash of sexual assaults of white women on New Year’s Eve in 2015 – including a volunteer policewoman – by gangs of Arab males in a Cologne, Hamburg and Frankfurt, Germany. Videos taken by locals of the events were pulled off YouTube within hours of upload and mainstream news delayed reporting on what amounted to about 120 reported sexual assaults, including one confirmed rape. Who knows how many ACTUAL assaults occurred – the speed at which white women are deemed racist these days when they report sexual assault by men outside their race defies logic. To add insult to literal injury, the mayor of Cologne, a woman, even laid the blame on German women, and instead of deporting the offenders, suggested that women keep strangers at arms length. The implication was that they were behaving like standard white Western sluts deserving of rape instead of like proper Muslim women who should be helped and pitied.
I myself have been physically and sexually assaulted by Arab and sometimes black males in every single European country I’ve been to except Czechia and Greece and on all but one trip I’ve made to Europe since 1996. Belgium, Germany and France have been the worst, by far. I wrote about a violent gang assault I experienced in Belgium when I was 24 – the first time I’d ever been strangled – where I thought I was going to die. So to me, and other white females I’ve talked to, and who, by the way, like me, have never reported their assaults – because what’s the point? – ‘invasive species’ is an apt analogy. When illegal and non-citizen males are given free reign to assault the local or a targeted race of women, the victims have no power to fight back, and when there is no one ‘predating on’ or exerting control over the interlopers, you have a near-definition of an invasive species. It may not have been intended, but the unnatural and unplanned diversity is highly problematic to females – not males, who ironically, tend to be the most vocal in opposing liberal policy on immigration. Women, stupidly and just like they’ve been trained to do, welcome diverse expressions of misogyny in with open arms and then are shocked when something inevitably happens to them. Why isn’t female safety a human right? Well, we all know the answer to that one. Only penis is human – even a raping penis.
1b) Intentional, Unnatural Diversity
There are times when men deliberately introduce species into foreign environments to serve selfish human purposes or add ‘variety’ to local options, and the results are unpredictable, but usually a problem. Other times, a desirable species from another place is brought in for labour or human comfort as we see with many domesticated pets and farm animals. There are often problems with deliberately introduced species catering to human selfishness. I’ll address food crops, and leave the pets and domesticated animals for now. Let’s explore.
When human males started exploring the world hundreds of years ago, they began to bring back the exotic to their homelands. New foods and spices, plants, animals made their way into local taste and customs providing an unheard of variety of flavours and experiences. This is part of every culture. All cultures have things they use that originated elsewhere, but that may have become ‘traditional’ after years of assimilation. A funny example from China – and I use China because I know more about their culture and their silliness than other foreign cultures, and also they get very superior and snobby when it comes to their culture. Food is an especially annoying area of snobbery. But did you know that the crucial ingredient to the important Szechuan (Sichuan) and Hunanese cuisines – the hot pepper – isn’t native to China? Indeed it is not. The Chinese have the Spanish and Portuguese of the 15th century to thank for introducing oral fire power, originally from the Americas, to their precious traditional food. Likewise with the regularly consumed peanuts and corn – and did you know you can get corn-on-the-cob at McDonald’s in China!
It has been reasoned by Russian plant researchers that the place with the greatest diversity in food crops indicates their origin (i.e., you’ll find more varieties of chili pepper in Central and South America than anywhere else because that is where they are originally from). Logically, as crops move to foreign lands, local peoples will select the varieties that taste and grow best, thus immediately increasing diversity in their diet, while decreasing diversity in plant genetics over time. And today, all around the world, we are seeing much less crop diversity – even in places where plants are native! – due to human meddling in genetics, industrialized farming and the loss of local, small-scale farmers who traditionally planted very local varieties. This doesn’t bode well for the food system at all. And yes, if you trace this problem back to its roots, it is because of male dominance, female slavery, the resultant overpopulation problem and male expansionist tendencies for appropriating resources from other lands and increasing their economic power. It always comes down to something along those lines if you are willing to examine modern problems honestly and in depth.
Check out the food origin map. Click to enlarge.
2a) Forced Diversity (and Inclusion)
Ring-a-ding-ding! As you may have guessed, this sub-topic is the one I’m most interested in from a political standpoint. It stains the entire political landscape in the modern Western world, and it represents a world of illogic, unfairness, sexism, racism, doublethink, and censorship, all wrapped up in a faux moral superiority / virtue signalling shit sandwich. It is, in short, one of the major accomplishments of modern male supremacists dressed up as anti-racism warriors.
All across North America and possibly even extending into Western Europe, you’ll find signage with slogans telling the world how wonderful (forced) diversity and its nasty sibling, inclusivity are. But when you’re forcing something to happen that isn’t natural, it ends up being kinda fake and giving privileges to some while trampling the rights of others. I’m not talking here about making white males mad because they don’t get all the available promotions through nepotism and old boys’ networks anymore. White male supremacy is forced exclusivity, and is thus unnatural. And I’m also not talking about making sure the sub-populations that are already present are represented in their communities. Organizations need to reflect the communities in which they operate – that is natural diversity and a matter of fairness. What I am referring to is deliberately hurting people for characteristics that they can’t change (race and sex), and forcing diversity where little to none may exist to begin with. Just as we don’t look down upon parts of the world where plant species aren’t as diverse, we should not do so with less naturally diverse human societies. And just as shipping a bunch of tropical plants to the tundra isn’t going to achieve anything, forcing human diversity has no objective value or purpose, which is to say that political agendas don’t necessarily have much value or meaning outside of winning popularity contests.
The basic premises of liberal Western diversity measures are that:
a) All white people are evil and racist and should be blamed for everything wrong in the life of a person who is not white,
b) A city or region or group that is unintentionally predominantly white MUST be injected with people who are not white – otherwise, it is not ‘diverse’, has no cultural value, and is therefore, evil,
c) Females are no longer permitted to call themselves women to the exclusion of non-females, and must allow their boundaries and privacy to be invaded and colonized by males. Not to do so is anti-diversity and literally [sic] akin to murder, and
d) Straight, bi or ‘queer’ are okay. Gay or lesbian are NOT. If you have to be homosexual, then you must still fuck people of the opposite sex (even if you have to pretend they are the same sex), because not to do so is not inclusive. Besides what is ‘biological sex’ anyways? Biology is not a science, but rather, a state of mind. Yes, a feeling. And stating facts is discriminatory and anti-diversity. So male is female is male is… wait, what? Well, you know what I mean.
The forced diversity gang (and it is a gang) runs on all sorts of bizarre anti-science, anti-evidence, anti-logic, catchy sound bites that are designed to rally approval-seekers, and to prevent women from talking about interracial oppression and crime, and preventing lesbians and other women from talking about having their rights as women taken away by men pretending to be women. I see the words diversity and inclusivity, a word meant to paint opponents as racist, anti-male, or anti-trans and to silence them, everywhere I go. On front lawns of private homes, on web sites, in store-front windows, and on public school billboards. It is creepy – like the communist propaganda posters you still see in China. You are likely familiar with some of the following:
Forced diversity means that women still aren’t getting ahead. Women are more than half the population everywhere, except where they are deliberately killed off by men and their handmaidens, and yet they aren’t included in this political push for diversity. They are still pushed aside so that males can take jobs, awards, and recognition. It is more important to change the natural composition of a local society for no logical reason other than racial guilt, than to ensure natural diversity is upheld (i.e, including women). [Hint: there is no guilt over misogyny since women will still fuck men regardless. No reparations necessary!] So this means that white women pay the price economically, legally, and socially for what white men have done in the past, while the white men remain untouched and highly employable. It might not be such a big deal to a straight white woman married to a safely employed and highly paid white male, but single white women get thrown under the bus in a number of ways, including being excluded in diversity mandates. And of those added to the mix, they tend to be male as well. Like I wrote in a past post, while looking at a PhD program at a university in a region of Canada that happened to be predominantly white, I looked hard at the composition of the department. I’ve had plenty of experience in departments where I’m not represented, and felt way too old to go through that again. I noticed that the department had no full-time female faculty, despite the field not being particularly male-dominant normally, but they had plenty of foreign males of other races and ethnicities, as well as the requisite stable of white males. I noticed that the university patted themselves on the back for upholding ‘diversity’, but if they truly embraced diversity, that department should have been half female. Forced diversity hurts women, and I’ve never seen an affirmative action program fix anything.
2b) Forced Homogeneity/Uniformity (and Exclusion)
Let’s finish off with the opposite of forced diversity. You know the words ‘pest’ and ‘weed’? Well, these are relative terms. In reality, all species of plant and animal has an equal ‘right’ to go about its business on the planet, and all have a place and purpose, no matter how small. It is only when humans decide that they are more important than all other living things that different species are valued or devalued. Some problematic species are easily managed through hunting or trapping, as in large game that venture into urban areas and kill innocent children, livestock or house pets. Usually, the problem isn’t the wild species; it is the fact that humans have taken its living space and it is hungry with limited access to food sources. Very quickly, species can become endangered if fear of them is high and if their bodies, body parts or body coverings have value. But sometimes, species are hard to manage solely through these means. One brilliant idea, especially with small critters, evasive critters, or critters living in large areas is to introduce what humans consider to be a ‘natural’ predator. Usually, it isn’t local, and the idea is that it will serve the intended purpose – eliminating or just managing unwanted or ‘dangerous’ species – and then either just die once the food source is gone or just blend in and chill. But that seldom happens.Very quickly, the target pest can become endangered, and you may even find out exactly what important role they played in their ecosystem. You also may suddenly find that the introduced species (which has no local predator itself) becomes an invasive species.
On the solely human side of things, we’ve seen many examples of this throughout time in the form of ethnic, sexual and religious genocide. Men of all ethnicities have sought to eliminate other ethnic and religious group, especially women and girls. It isn’t new, and it certain wasn’t a white invention, despite what people are saying these days. But it was and is male. Very, very male. Personally, I don’t understand the drive to have everyone look like you or to relegate a group to a sub-class. These days, race and ethnicity issues are probably more of a problem in countries that are fairly mono-racial and nearly to totally immigration-prohibitive than they are in most Western countries. But they are front and centre in the West despite the fact that the true need, the one that is being sadly neglected, is women’s progress. There seems to be a recent drive to erase women completely as natural beings – a sexual genocide of sorts. Pornification is a form of genocide, I believe. One thing to remember: there is no natural predator for the males in control… And unless there are males in the prey group, there is no hope for fighting back in a way that will work.
Conclusion
Natural diversity, good. Forced diversity, bad. Male meddling, fiddling, and diddling always backfire. I truly suspect that we wouldn’t see any of these issues if men didn’t exist. And if humans didn’t exist…? Well, check out the documentary: “Life After People” (stream for free here) to think about the idea that we wouldn’t be missed at all 😉
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*** addendum, with regard to my discussion of the mass Muslim gang attacks of white women in Germany, please note that the number of assaults and rapes reported varies WIDELY. The numbers I cited were at the low end. Various sources indicate that there were upwards of 1,200 sexual assaults from all over Germany, including at least 50 rapes. We will never know the exact number because a) most white women don’t report rape and sexual assault, especially when the attackers are not white, and b) the Western world doesn’t take rape seriously, especially when it threatens multiculturalism policies. It is shocking, but unsuprising, that while it is internationally acknowledged that these attacks happened, nothing has changed to keep women safe. It is more important to protect male privilege, rapist privilege, and Muslim privilege, and guess what? White women aren’t human either, and our rapes certainly aren’t taken seriously. Sorry, liberals.
C is for Censorship
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Get ready for a fun topic. It is complex. It can be looked at from different angles. And it can affect women in a variety of ways all at the same time!
That’s right. C is for censorship, ladies, and you don’t have to have spent the better part of a decade living and working in a communist dictatorship like I did to have experienced a form of censorship personally.
I’m going to consider briefly what censorship means in the publicly accepted sense, and then I’ll discuss other forms that are especially relevant to women, but that are seldom considered to be censorship or taken seriously for one reason or another.
First, what is censorship as defined by the world who cares about such things? It is:
The suppression or prohibition of any words, ideas or images that are considered by the powerful to be obscene or amoral, politically unacceptable, or a threat to security.
Okay, thank you scrotals of the Oxford dictionary. Let me just jump in and say this: censorship is about power and control no matter what kind of spin you put on it. All of the reasons men give for censorship are usually spun as some sort of protection of target groups such as women and children, but usually end up controlling those same groups even more. If actual protection of vulnerable groups were the true goals of the censoring bodies, there are more effective and respectful ways of doing it. So, no. It is all about power and control and the only protection is of the ones who wield that power and control. And who are these controlling bodies? Most often, they have been governments and religious institutions, but increasingly today, they are companies/corporations (e.g., publishing groups, media outlets, or social media giants), large organizations (e.g., the Boy Scouts, Planned Parenthood, Pride), schools (at any level), and even social groups (just look around you at the local level). The important thing to note is that censorship is dictated by men and often helped along by handmaidens of the patriarchy.
Protection can often be called ‘cultural sensitivity’, ‘public security’, ‘obscenity safeguards’ and the like. It is worded in such a way to discourage opposition by blackening or questioning the morality of or implying paranoia or conspiracy theorist tendencies in anyone who suggests that the reasons are actually more about control than doing right. There are occasional instances where there is a legitimate attempt to protect the vulnerable or to quell legitimately violent groups through censorship, but as mentioned above, whether this is the correct way to ‘protect’ is up for debate. But the ethics and morality game can be highly personal for most people and the decision about who is allowed to speak and be heard often comes down to very biased decision-making.
So let’s talk a little about recognized censorship and then about other manifestations of censorship that happen, more often than not, to women.
1. Recognized Censorship
Dictatorial Systems
I’ll tell you from experience that it is a serious mindfuck living in a dictatorship as a person who didn’t grow up in one. If you have read anything by Kafka, anything by the various absurdist writers, ‘1984’, etc., then you have had glimpses into some of the situations you might find yourself encountering in communist or fascist countries. Think lots of rules that don’t make sense, with a complementary and necessary underground system of ways to get around all the rules. Lots of contradictory nonsense and red tape that prohibits people from getting shit done or even bothering to pursue things. Lots of threats of consequences that aren’t quite articulated or clear, but that are universally understood to exist. Serious, multi-multi-level heirarchies and knowledge/skill silos such that you can never find the right person for your question or need, and no one seems to be able to solve a problem without 50 other people being involved. And constant non-answers or very circular-logic type answers to very simple questions, especially ‘why’ questions. You have to learn to go with the flow, or you leave, or you stay and go mad. Those are the options as an outsider.
Despite the fact that dictatorships are really dangerous phenomena that destroy lives, they are actually very weak systems. This applies equally to political dictatorships as to small unofficial dictatorships like traditional hetero marriages. And no matter the size, all are dependent upon the absolute control of and power over all the lesser members by the dictator (or husband, in the case of marriage). Because the systems are so weak, the dictator needs dependent members to be voiceless, powerless, ignorant, subservient, and with limited freedoms. Dependent members are mired in mindfuckery and rules, require permission for basic things, and are limited in the information they can access and generate and how much they are allowed to communicate, and the scope of their communications. Many topics are off-limits, especially those that call into question the power of the dictator or make them lose face or even appear to be the slightest bit weak. And this censorship coupled with the threat of serious repercussions for over-stepping are necessary to keep members in line and the weak system appearing unassailable and functioning better than a ‘free’ (or what one might call a democratic) system. Give power to the dependent members, and the system cracks and falls apart. Guess why the divorce rate is so high in Western countries… (hint, marriage wasn’t a female invention!)
In political dictatorships, whether left- or right-wing, the most censored groups are always the ones who have the potential to do the most damage because of their sheer numbers (e.g., women, the poor), they threaten traditional values (e.g., gays and lesbians; minority religious/cultural groups), or they aren’t ignorant and can’t be brainwashed easily (e.g., academics or educated professionals). So you see these groups frequently threatened, silenced, disappeared, and used as scapegoats. Nevertheless, in a political dictatorship, ALL people are at risk for punishment if they say something that falls within the set of taboo topics. And for those who think that the US is a political dictatorship, get fucking real. The sheer amount of material that is publicly generated and individual- or group-attributable that insults, criticizes, humiliates, and borderline-threatens the President (the supposed dictator) and that is NOT censored or punished is proof positive that Americans live in a ‘free’ society. Censorship exists, but it is highly group-selective. And btw, corporations are fast becoming the censors, not the government (e.g., think of the recent censorship of Trump by Twitter – that was corporation-driven, not governmental). So that is something to think about.
Religious Influence and Obscenity
Religious people spend a shitload of time thinking about sex and trying to control every aspect of people’s existence that is remotely tied to sex. The religious have been some of the most amoral people in history, ironically, while trying to enforce their own ‘moral’ systems. And censorship is the name of the game coupled with a very heavy system of punishment, including rape, torture and murder. And this applies to every established religion out there. It is not a surprise then that the most cited rationale for power and control masked as ‘protection’ has fallen under the auspices of censorship on the basis of ‘obscenity’. The prohibition of the teaching of sexual education in schools, forced conversions of gays and lesbians, the banning of all manner of books and art from libraries, galleries, museums, and school curricula, to name a few practices, are common manifestations of censorship.
It is actually interesting when considering ends and means that serious feminists and some religious groups may on the surface oppose certain manifestations of ‘art’ while completely disagreeing about why they oppose it. The former oppose ‘obscenity’ on the grounds that it supports and normalizes a patriarchal system that embraces rape, female slavery, human trafficking, poverty, drug addiction, and child abuse, while the religious are just woman-haters that think depictions of the female body, etc. are filthy and are a prime example of why women (not men) should be controlled. And the hoi polloi ignorantly and erroneously groups feminists with religious fanatics, which probably partially explains why many feminists who oppose pornography and prostitution are incorrectly called ‘prudes’, a term that originally was used to describe ‘sexually repressed’ religious people. Being opposed to rape and forced sexuality has nothing to do with prudery or repression; quite the opposite, in fact.
2. Censorship No One Cares About
There is no country or major organization where some form of censorship doesn’t occur. But there is a difference between the censorship that the free-thinking world accepts as a human rights abuse and the censorship that is ignored or just plain old accepted as “the way things are and is it really a big deal anyway…?” One thing you’ll notice about recognized and pooh-poohed censorship is that the former is usually applied to the entire population without egregious prejudice (i.e., in China, censorship applies to all people on all the taboo topics), whereas unrecognized censorship most often occurs in hypocritical, democratic First World countries that typically tell the world that they value freedom and honesty while erasing targeted, ‘dangerous’ populations. This is likely why so much Western censorship is dismissed/ignored – if it doesn’t apply to you, you don’t think it is a problem. And guess who is less censored than everyone else in Western societies? Men. So if censorship isn’t happening to men – the shot-callers and reality-definers in every single country – then it doesn’t exist (and we say misogyny is less serious or doesn’t exist in Western countries…) Also note that all freedom-loving countries typically have small, but extremely loud, groups of people who complain incessantly about having their rights taken away, but who are usually the most privileged/entitled members of the entire population (males, trannies, religious right-wingers, etc). The actual censored are not loud because they are actually being censored so that no one ever has to hear from them, duh. And if they do make it to public awareness, other tactics, such as painting them as ‘crazy’ are employed. So let’s look at some examples of censorship in ‘free’ countries that people typically don’t acknowledge, accept or are even aware of because it is so effective.
Patriarchy and HIStory
Despite the fact that every civilization throughout time was built and maintained and expanded using female slave labour, women seldom appear in history books or history curricula in schools. Strangely, growing up and going to school in Canada, I learned more about the short-term oppressions of aboriginals in Canada and Australia, black slaves in the US, and and persecuted Jews in Europe during WWII than I learned about the lives, experiences and history of my own foremothers in Canada, let alone the women who were my foremothers in Ireland and Scotland. I certainly wasn’t taught about Western homosexual oppression either. Why do I know more about the suffering of blacks in a foreign country than I do about the women from whom I actually descended who suffered and survived so that I, myself, exist today? Why is my history as a woman so much less important than basically everyone else on the planet who is not a white female? And why the fuck does no other woman question this about her own ancestors, regardless of race or ethnicity? Why is this not strange to women? Why in historical records do we know how many sheep and horses a European male owned, but we don’t even know the name of the wife who slaved for him and suffered his dick and often his fists every day of her life? This is systematic and long-term censorship of female existence. It exists in other cultures as well, but I am speaking for my own. And it is completely unacknowledged.
Speaking solely of my European-descended sisters, why aren’t girls taught about rape and the laws surrounding it historically in our culture? Why aren’t we taught about the origins of marriage and why it is the only legal form of slavery left on the planet? Why aren’t we taught about the things men were legally allowed to do to their wives? Why aren’t we taught about the witch trials in Europe and why they targeted women primarily, and about other witchy persecution of women on other continents (North America and Africa) and why these things happen separately in other places in time, but look eerily similar? Why is the only thing we learn about women the date we got the right to vote in our own country – and why is this presented as the sum total of female achievement in history? Why don’t I know what daily life was like for women of different classes other than what they wore? Why is there this overwhelming assumption no matter where you are in the world that women’s lives have never really been that bad, the implication and ‘evidence’ being that if it was so bad, why didn’t women do anything about it??? Why is the assumption that half the world’s population just barely existed with nothing to contribute, nothing to say and were perfectly happy to have it that way, as if it were meant to be?
There is no cultural or historical female pride in our school systems or in society that is encouraged, promoted, admired and valued in the way that every single ethnic, racial and religious group out there gets in Western cultures. Girls and women don’t seem to see the big deal in being completely ignorant of their history, the history of their FEMALE people, and there is no actual concern that they are not represented in history books, the written and taught narrative of the human race.
Coming from Canada, where there is a strong tradition of female writing and where the female writers are much more impressive and prolific than the males, why were there no Canadian female writers (let alone female writers from other countries) in my English curricula? Seriously. English was the only subject Canadian children of my generation had to take every single year of their formal education, including in our five years of high school in my province. No female writers taught in a country rich with award-winning female writers. That is censorship. Erasure.
When you are not exposed to the works, thoughts, contributions, and history of your people (in my case, white women of Canadian, Irish and Scottish descent), how can you strive to be something? How can you know where you came from? How can you know who and what you are? How can you appreciate what your foremothers did and struggled through? How can you know how little progress has been made – and perhaps that last question gives me the answer as to why girls aren’t taught about their history. We’d see how little we’ve actually progressed as a sex in the so-called socially and politically ‘advanced’ First World.
If girls and women are censored, there is nothing to compare their current conditions to, and nothing to blame their oppressors for. Hell you can’t call them oppressors if there is no record of female oppression!
Trans Tyranny: Censoring Lesbians, Scientific Women, Feminists
There are a lot of ways to tell that male trannies are men. One of them is their use of censorship to bolster their very, very weak power base. Like in any dictatorship, their claims are not logical or proveable, are rooted in serious mental illness and personality disorders, and are all about power and control, which is what all males pursue on some level. Like typical dictators, they attack those with less power than themselves (women) rather than go after those presenting legitimate threats (straight men), which confirms that they are seeking power rather than pursuing anything real.
These men have been very successful in getting other powerful bodies (governments, legal, educational, and social organizations, etc) on their side in the censorship of the little opposition there has been to their nonsense, and I suspect that the only reasons they have been so successful is a) because they are men, and b) the opponents being censored are considered politically and socially unacceptable to everyone. Who is being censored? Women who uphold the scientific / biological facts of how sex (not gender!) works. Women, especially women with daughters, who believe women and girls have a right to private space away from biological males with male socialization. Women who know the facts about male violence against women, who know the data concerning male trans violence against women, and who know the psychological literature on why males gravitate towards transing, and who have read extensively the social media masturbation of male trans talking about the things they do and want to do to women and girls. Lesbians who are no longer welcome in the LG groups they were fundamental in establishing and maintaining, and who are vilified for not wanting to be raped by male trans who insist that their cocks are magically ‘female’. Women who acknowledge how little legal control they have over every aspect of their bodies and female status. Women who oppose the further erasure of their rights and status and the censorships of important words like ‘woman’, ‘vagina’, menstruation, and vocabulary that cannot be separated from the female experience.
And on and on I go. Not many women speak out. The censorship is swift and because of the violent nature of trans and their supporters, can be accompanied by violence. Women can lose their jobs for speaking up, which is censorship. Women can have their blogs shut down, which is censorship. Women are no-platformed at speaking events, which is censorship. Women are destroyed and banned in social media, which is censorship.
And no one acknowledges this in our fucking awesome ‘free’ democracies run on male supremacy. In many ways, in my opinion, I think dictatorships are better than what we have in the West simply because the lies and hypocrisy and selective (but unacknowledged) censorship are much, much worse in the West. But really, both are male systems, and should be eliminated. And before you say it, no, eliminating the censors is not censorship.
The Rise of Liberalism, Political Correctness, and Selective Censorship
Speaking of hypocrisy, we come to the liberals. Liberalism has been a building political movement in many Western countries for a while. Forget political party names for now. A Liberal or Democratic party member in the US is not the same as a Liberal or Democratic party member in Canada, for example. Likely, your country has among its choices, some religious, right-wing group, and some hypocritical, equally nutso, science-abusing, faux-human-rightsy, identity-politicking, left-wing group. Both come from a place of woman-hate (although they pretend they don’t – the former talks about ‘respect’ and ‘tradition’ while the latter talks about women’s ‘freedom’ – all bullshit). So let’s just talk about political leanings, rather than affiliation.
Liberal groups protect themselves from criticism by cloaking their bullshit in superficial human rights jargon. To criticize them immediately makes a person look like a misanthropic, sadistic, murdering, Nazi-type, even when the latter is an actual human rights activist pointing out a hypocritical liberal talking point. These folks fool many by their gung-ho-ness and superficial, at-the-ready mantras and slogans, but they are arguably quite a bit more dangerous than a typical conservative, who puts considerably less effort into trying to appear other than what they are (usually insular, narrow-minded bigots who don’t truly believe in evidence or science). Bascially, you have to work more to figure out what is really going on when a liberal speaks or acts.
Liberals are typically anti-racism warriors, which in and of itself is not a bad thing, except that they do it only when it doesn’t threaten their lifestyles, and they do it at other people’s expense. What does that mean? First, they paint everything as a racist issue in order to censor legitimate criticism, even when there is nothing racist taking place. Second, they don’t really understand what racism is or why it exists, so they censor certain groups of people (for example, white women, who do experience inseparable racism-sexism both in their home countries and abroad) and actually make it impossible for these groups to have a voice when it comes to reporting racist-sexist crime. And think about the language they do censor in various media – American television will bleep out ‘fuck’, but not ‘cunt’ or ‘bitch’. And you never hear racial slurs in American or Canadian television, while female slurs are a given on most episodes of most series out now. I’ve also noticed the new (and increasing) occurrence of male children calling adult women ‘bitch’. Selective censorship meant to denigrate women and empower males of all races. Third, liberals are possibly worse racists than the purported racists they attack, using groups for political gains rather than to help them (think of all the times liberals trot out the poorly understood plight of Muslim women they don’t even know personally in order to censor the speech of white feminists – ‘at least you’re not a Muslim woman’ is almost a cliché now).
One of the most digusting things liberal Americans have done recently is sexist, racist and a massive, but unacknowledged act of censorship. Planned Parenthood decided to remove Margaret Sanger’s name – the FOUNDER of Planned Parenthood – from the NY clinic. They’ve decided she is racist and a eugenics mastermind. This woman made it possible for today’s women of all races and ages to get an abortion and access to birth control, so whatever masterminding she may have attempted, it obviously didn’t work. Rather, Planned Parenthood would not even exist if not for this woman’s bravery and selflessness. I mean think about this. She was born in the fucking 1800’s and fought for women’s right to have the tiniest bit of control over the consequences of their marital, incestuous, workplace, acquaintance, and stranger rapes. This, at a time when women really had little choice about getting married and raped and being forced to breed for their entire lives. And fucking PP decides this heroine has to be erased, shunned, CENSORED. Fuck you Planned Parenthood, you ungrateful, disgusting, woman-hating turds. My rage when I read about this recently could have set a city block on fire. I don’t give a shit what Sanger believed in the early 1900’s. I think there is something arrogant and ignorant about imposing today’s morality on the long dead. Sanger’s contributions to the world outweigh any personal beliefs about anything. She was still a breeder, which I personally don’t agree with, but I won’t censor her contribution to female well-being because of that. Women had no choice about breeding at that point in history, and most if not all believed that it was their sole purpose in life. Today is a different story, however, and I have no problem with holding women responsible for their breeding choices now. Anyhow, liberals are often worse censors than conservatives, and represent the hypocrisy of ‘free’ democratic countries in the same way that conservatives represent dictatorships. Both are garbage, male-defined systems, but if I had to choose, based on experience, dictatorships are so much easier to navigate as they threaten everyone equally and without pretense. But we won’t have an alternative as long as men exist, sadly.
Self-Censorship Resulting from Narcisstic Abuse
On a different note, but equally important on the topic of censorship, especially for women, is something we’ll call ‘self-censorship’. Very basically, this just means that you prohibit yourself from having a voice. This is one of the major outcomes for people who have survived years of narcissistic abuse, especially as a child. It can also be a specific outcome for women who have been outspoken on EXTREMELY unpopular topics, such as women’s rights, rape, etc. and who have not protected themselves from online public assault. One thing I will say is that all men as well as women who haven’t experienced this kind of abuse will immediately dismiss self-censorship as something that is ‘all in one’s head’ or ‘issues’, the implication being one of weakness, the crime of victimhood leading to a victim mentality, or some other misogynistic bullshit that is uniformly applied to women who have beeen abused and who haven’t ‘bounced back’ with vim and positivity. Ignore those assholes. Psychological abuse is the least acknowledged, but one of the most brutal forms of abuse and can literally destroy self-identity and the ability to properly take care of oneself.
Imagine being a child with a narcissistic (NPD) parent and you grow up in an environment where you are constantly antagonized; everything you say and your very reality are doubted and questioned and negated; you are punished for the most bizarre of things without warning; you are humiliated publicly and/or within family/friend circles; you are given the silent treatment or had love withheld for reasons you can’t discern for days, weeks or longer; you are blamed for things you didn’t do; you are guilted, manipulated, accused of lying or being cruel when you are not; and more. And defending yourself ALWAYS makes things worse. Imagine what that does to a child’s sense of self. One of the things the child learns to do is to make herself as invisible as possible, to avoid saying anything definitive, to do anything possible not to be a target or rock the boat. This can happen to adults in adult relationships too, but for a child, we are talking about the crucial identity formation experiences that are necessary to grow into a functioning healthy adult with a solid sense of self. As an adult surviving childhood abuse, you have no confidence in what you believe, often can’t make decisions, and usually avoid saying anything resembling an opinion if you even have one at all. Sometimes, you do have an opinion, but the idea of expressing it is quickly quelled as you start doubting whether it is real, valid or valuable. This is self-censorship.
Wrap-Up
There is a ton of other forms of selective and unacknowledged censorship that I could discuss here. For example, male language traditions (mankind, Man, manpower, chairman, name change for women in marriage, etc.) is a large topic that is designed to exclude women from every aspect of life, while pretending to include them and that it isn’t really a big deal. Censorship and erasure are very big deals, especially when you consider flipping the situation to favour women. Then you find out what men really think about censorship.
But I won’t get into more here as this topic is truly massive. What people don’t really realize is that the censorship of women on so many levels is so enduring, relentless, and pervasive that it isn’t noticeable. People accept things that, if they thought about it and paid attention, just aren’t right, and that wouldn’t be accepted by racial, ethnic or religious groups or by men. As a lone woman, you cannot change this system, but you can allow a woman her voice in your daily life by reading female authors, supporting women’s comments on articles or in social media, listening to female speakers, and giving the little girls in your life the chance to be heard and believed.
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Misogyny in Academia: Nothing Has Changed
First, welcome to the douchebags from rationalwiki. Ladies, you know your feminist blog has made it when internet scrotal warriors with their self-proclaimed ‘rational minds’ (sorry, let me pause to laugh my ass off here, man-logic is anything but rational, but fuelled by emotional mantrums) have listed you as a ‘webshite’ and angry, privileged followers click on over to your site to become angrier. I’m sure between watching rape porn and eating the meals their mothers provide, they are raging online about how women have destroyed the world with their quest for human rights and not to be raped or to take the scourge of rape porn away. Nothing says ‘rational’ like not understanding the difference between rights and privilege. I won’t go on. Women will understand. Men never will (they don’t have to in this world). Only rational people will get it.
Anyhoo. I’m in the middle of escaping a violent male in a rental situation while unemployed (I talked about insecure housing for women in my last post). Luckily, but sadly, one of the other women in my house has been experiencing related terrorism and we finally ran into each other and shared our experience. We had thought we were alone and thus unable to be believed (he said, she said, he wins, she flees… or dies). The third woman in the house is straight, very male-identified, and will never get on board. She is one of those who is internet dating, currently has a male who is trying to access her twat, gets angry when she says no, and she is still hanging out with him and making excuses for him. You know this common, sad, but tedious, story. She will likely be raped in the near future, and she is in complete denial. There isn’t a straight woman on the planet who hasn’t experienced something along these lines, but most will never admit it because women are still expected to let men rape them and accept it as love and affection. And the excuses they make to have it all make sense… But long story short, the other woman and I have found places to live, and we teamed up and forced the landlord to let us out of our rental agreement. Seldom do women team up – as I’ve mentioned before, this is one reason we haven’t made much progress as a class in fighting our oppressors (see posts on the need for Old Girls Clubs in the professional sphere, female bonding in general, how intersectionality has destroyed the long lost feminist prime directive, and more). Nothing will happen to our abuser, and while we are lucky to escape, it is another example of women having to escape a space that should, by definition, be safe in order to survive. Women often have to leave secure housing and even jobs and school positions because of the threats of violence and actual violence that men pose and enact, while the men stay firmly and securely in place, untouchable, housing secure and careers skyrocketing without the competition that more competent women would normally present, and most important, without the fears that women live with daily at home, in public and in the workplace. I always wonder to myself how many women are destroyed professionally, economically and more because men threaten them. I’ve written a little about this before, and posit the need for danger pay for women in the workforce.
So we get to my topic. Academia. Now, interestingly, but unsurprisingly, educated women are some of the most hated women among feminists (partially addressed in my post on Isolating Women). You’d think that women would embrace and promote women moving into fields that could actually help the world and empower women. But no. I’ve read tons of posts and articles by or about academic women, and the sad comments sections that accompany them, where so-called feminists viciously attack academic feminists and women in general. Complicated stuff going on there. The attacks often fall along the lines of “this bitch has made it; why isn’t she doing more to help less fortunate women? Why is she capitulating?” And and think to myself, “why the fuck don’t you go attack some men? Yannow, the actual problems.” These self-proclaimed feminists have no idea what it takes to make it in academia as a woman. I’m tired of blue collar bullshit. And liberal bullshit. I’ve lived in multiple worlds – I class myself as ‘educated poor’ – and instead of hating other work classes, I suggest embracing women and fighting the men who keep archaic systems in place. It’s simple, logically, but you have to let go of lady-hate to do it… Anyhow, the women they are attacking are likely 10 times as competent as the men they share departments with, are paid less, are less likely to be promoted, are often forced into non-career-advancing busy work like planning parties, and taking on advising roles that would never be forced on men; are often sexually harassed, threatened and so on; and they are usually completely isolated from normal professional goings-on (especially with female colleagues), unless they support the male party line. To put forth a strong feminist agenda, even in a ‘Gender’ Studies department (the name change says it all – welcome to women’s non-rights in the 21st century) will destroy your career. I watched it happen in my own department in the US when I was a grad student. A committed single (sort of asexual, although not labelled) female professor, top of her field, prominent in the media, well-published and cited, yet treated like shit in our department dared to complain about sexual bias. She ended up blacklisted from academia and had to go to the private sector. Meanwhile, the male professor who would play with his crotch while lesbian grad students met with him in his office, and who threw away a week of lectures in our hardcore stats class because he couldn’t figure out what he was doing, is a full professor now. Untouchable. Further, all the non-white male lecturers got tenure; none of the females did while I was a grad student there. Well, one black woman – no white women nor the one aboriginal woman was promoted. Myself, I had the highest teaching rating of all the grad students. I was in line to receive a prestigious teaching award, but the female prof on the awards committee told me that they were going to give it to an Asian male with lower ratings. She said, “he needed it”. And I didn’t? Why did he need it more than me? He didn’t end up in a teaching career. I did. I needed that award. He is making 6 figures. I am unemployed. And I seldom earn above minimum wage, and that’s when people aren’t trying to force me into volunteer work or work-stay exchange situations (which are more likely to be forced on white women than anyone else, since we are all supposed to be the supported playthings of rich white males with time on our hands, right?)
But this was the 1990’s. Surely things have changed, right? Millennials and Gen Z’s I meet keep telling me that women are EQUAL now. They don’t face misogyny in universities, of course! Could it be? Have things changed radically?
Well, I spent a year in the American college system as a student during this past year, and no, things are not equal. Not in the slightest. Almost all the full professorships are still held by men. Women are taken on board on a casual lecturer basis, most often. I looked up the salaries at the public colleges I attended. One of my male teachers was making over $130,000 per year. He showed films all the time, frequently cancelled class, and I remember we had a quiz in class one day, and he announced gleefully, “Nap time!” Working hard, earning his pay! I had two stellar female teachers, highly committed to students, put in extra work, stayed after class, etc. My favourite, had a listed salary of $19,000 despite extensive expertise in her field. Never once yelled “Nap time!” for herself when we had tests. The other was teaching a double load at the College and University because she couldn’t get hired as full-time staff and had to make ends meet.
Canada is no better. No way. I’m currently exploring a possible PhD program as my two Masters degrees have been the worst professional decisions for my career possible, besides deciding to work in China. I would never recommend a terminal Masters to any woman unless she is already in a job that requires it for her to advance. As it is, I’m too educated for lower level jobs (I’m a risk because I’ll leave once I see something better!), but I’m not educated enough for the jobs I’m intellectually capable of. I also have a weird resume – my education doesn’t match my vast, but colourful, job experience, so that is seen as a risk too. (why aren’t I specialized or in management???) So I’m looking at PhDs as a possible option in these turbulent times. I’ve found a perfect program in Canada, and I’ve explored the faculty members thoroughly. Now as we all know, the current political climate is focused on forced diversity. What does that mean? Well, it means ensuring that non-white people populate the higher echelons, even if it doesn’t accurately reflect the local community. And this agenda has been successful all over North America. This department I’m looking at is mostly non-white, despite being located in a province that is over 90% white (try forcing diversity in any non-Western country and see how that works…).
Now what is blatant, but will never be addressed, is that there are no female core faculty members. I think there are one or two adjunct female lecturers. And it’s not a Physics department where you would expect that kind of misogyny. So I’m thinking to myself – what has been solved here? Why are Millennials and Gen Z’s so fucking deluded? This department is operating in a mainly white community where over half the population is female (the latter being normal in all corners of the world, of course). And they’ve populated their departments with foreign, non-white males, although white males are also present as they always are. And there is a huge immigration drive here. I agree with having foreign faculty in all countries – definitely! you need international expertise to boost your research agenda and perspectives – but I also believe you need to solve your problems at home first. And the problem that needs to be addressed EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD is this: woman are not represented. And it’s not for lack of intelligence, experience or education. Most of our undergraduate students are female. The majority of grad students are female in a growing number of departments. But conversely, in most departments, all or almost all of the tenured faculty are male (of multiple races). And no, the problem is not that women are just starting to get PhDs in 2020. Try decades of increasing numbers of female PhD graduates. So, something else is going on that keeps women out of jobs fitting their education and that pays them for the 8-12 years of post-secondary education they sweated through while living at poverty levels. Where is the drive to allow women into the halls of intellect, of power? How can we effect change when female students don’t see a place for themselves in academic institutions? Let’s stop taking tuition money from women and girls while not allowing them a chance to find economic freedom and influence in policy, research, and the realm of discovery. Everyone is happy to take our money, but we are still denied power. Education is, first and foremost, a tool, not a hobby for women.
Part of the problem in many Western countries with predominantly white populations is that in the drive for racial diversity, white women have been lumped in with white males. And established white workers are almost always male. White female jobs are ‘last in, first cut’. And if those jobs open up, white women are not usually considered ‘diversity hires’ even though they are vastly underrepresented and always have been. See, men only share with us when they are trying to shove some of the responsibility for problems (i.e., racism) onto someone else or to find a scapegoat to blame or punish. White women have never had a kick at the can of power. We have fought harder than most women to achieve rights, but are not actually benefiting our own selves from this hard work despite what non-white women say. We are still underrepresented in all areas of power, including academia, even when we are a majority in the local population. Yet we are told over and over that our ‘white privilege’, which actually is ‘white male privilege’, is unjust. Politically, in the West, it has gone this way: white men have dominated forever. They still dominate, but are slowly on the way out. (And they fucking hate it!) Diversity is the buzzword of the day. So the bottom line is: if a job is going to be a special population hire, white women, who are underprivileged, are ‘white’ and thus left out. We’ve never had our time and never will, in other words.
So is it worth it for me to even try? I’m already an undesirable because I’m middle aged. Second most invisible time in a woman’s life except old age. And men have hurt my career prospects so many times. I’ve been pinched, talked down to/mansplained to, micromanaged (among other psychological techniques used to push women out), sexually harassed, forced into lady-busy-work, passed over for awards and promotions and recognition, given heavier workloads than male counterparts, and threatened by colleagues and bosses and advisors. I’ve often had to leave. Fear. Frustration. Stagnation. Men don’t experience this, can’t understand this, and downplay or dismiss it as crazy talk if you even bother to explain. I don’t get the sense that anything has changed for the better for my demographic, even though I’m told over and over that women, in general, are equal now, and that white women, specifically, have all the power. Where is this actually reflected? I don’t see it. And trust me, I am looking hard.
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Better Seen, But Not Heard
I’ve never really understood why people get so obsessed with actors. They are basically glorified memorizers, some of whom are able to sell a lie. We worship this? Okay.
Well, once in a while, there might be someone with real talent; they are seldom recognized as a) we celebrate all male mediocrity, so the most famous male actors aren’t really that talented, b) women are chosen for their looks rather than acting ability, so most female talent never makes it to the big screen, c) most writers are male with a few male-identified women thrown in, so the roles for women are limited and usually supporting roles and/or caricatures. Female talent seldom gets to shine, even if they have been noticed.
But one thing is true, no matter the talent or lack of talent in the acting department; these folks aren’t really special in any other way. So why do their opinions on serious issues matter so much to the hoi polloi? I mean, most of them aren’t especially intelligent or worldly. Even if they’ve managed a university degree, intellectual work, thinking, analysis, etc., wasn’t the primary goal. Jobs geared towards fame and fortune tend to attract people who want attention, so the narcissism factor tends to run high. So I ask again, why would we place such value on the opinions of self-centred, out-of-touch, I lie-for-pay types? Does everyone really need a hero, and the loudest asshole wins the role?
Who is Daniel Radcliffe? Feeding-hand-biter. Misogynist. Mediocre actor. And bit of a tosser, really…
Again and again, we follow the uninformed political rantings of ridiculous screenies, and not to beat a dead horse, but the latest is the schlock coming out of the mouths of wand-wavers, Daniel Radcliffe and his cohort. [Jeez, I told myself I would never write on this, but the topic just won’t go away…] Please stop talking. Please stop attacking the woman who made you rich and famous. You aren’t even touched by the trannie issue. Women are. Let women who are on the ground dealing with this shit day to day take the lead and put the issue in its place (the toilet). Your opinion means less than nothing. Go back to your mediocre acting. I, for one, am boycotting all future films put out by tossers like this one.
So tired of the trannie issue, but it is far from being done, and the worst is yet to come for women who dare to trust established science and defy the crazies by speaking in public.
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The Confluence of Two American Patriarchal Scourges
This post is part of a few series. Find it among the following:
Background
I’ve been to a few Prides here and there in various cities. I’ve gone even though I’m not so much into large group events, and even though I attend without knowing anyone since I move around a lot. I go for a few reasons. First, I like to check out the local scene. I find it extremely hard to meet lesbians, especially lesbians who are man-hating, pro-women, non-intersectional, and anti-natal. (Do they even exist???) And second, Pride is supposed to be a celebration of something that on any other day gets you hated and mistrusted by women and pornified by men. Pride came about to allow a seriously oppressed population the chance to feel normal of sorts among others who understood them and the daily challenges of not following the hetero rules of raping and impregnating bitches or being that raped and impregnated bitch. Gay men, of course, have always turned Pride into a bit of a sex-fest. That is what men do regardless of which holes they fuck; everything is sex to them. Lesbians: I think they just wanted to be acknowledged, accepted and then left to their own devices. Kind of a ‘we exist, thank you, now fuck off and stop raping us and demonizing us’ sort of thing.
I volunteered for Pride in the American city where I was living last year, but this time, it was a sort of Bizarro, alterego of Superman kind of Pride – very ass-backwards compared to the Prides I had attended long ago. For one, Pride is no longer peaceful. The gay men are still loud and proud and focused on sex, as per usual. But then again, the shit that has been happening lately is happening to women, not men. Gay men have the privilege and luxury of being able to focus on their own brand of fun as there is no threat posed to them. Their space remains intact and their bodies unassaulted. But for lesbians, there is an element of violence and aggression, and within-group policing and hovering threats that never existed before. I felt afraid sitting in my volunteer orientation. I was more afraid of the people in the Pride group than I was of potential violent nutjobs from the crowd. And I’ll tell you why.
Enter the trans. The cause of the violence and aggression and general feeling of unease.
I couldn’t even figure out whether there were any actual lesbians in my volunteer group. The word ‘lesbian’ wasn’t uttered a single time during my multi-hour orientation. But 30 minutes on pronouns and another 30 on triggering and another 60 boiling down to how, basically, it is not possible to have a comfortable conversation anymore, even with people you are supposed to be bonding with because they share your experience. There is nothing shared anymore (except perhaps for fear on the parts of lesbians). The sense of erasure and danger and WTF is going on? was heavy and knife-cuttable-throughable. All due to trans. So the peaceful factor was gone completely. Erase women and you erase any chance for logic and peace… Besides the trans, lesbians have further been erased and replaced by Generation Z(ombie) Queer Hitler-Youth types, ready to narc on anyone who doesn’t suck lady cock or admits they are just a plain old lesbian, or shhhhhh, they have a vagina.
But I digress. I’d like to talk more about my experience with my most recent American Pride, but that is for another post.
Look at Eldridge surrounded by naked white females wearing his dick pants. Always black guys with the ‘raping the white ladies’ fantasy.
I want to talk about trans2, one of the worst things to happen to America since… Larry Flint?… the incel movement took hold? … I don’t know. It’s hard to pick one horrible event as life as a woman is basically “Okay, what next, you fucking rapists?” But it gets worse. Imagine that the trans mindset melded with the BLM (Black Lives Matter – or what it really is: BDM – Black Dicks Matter) mindset, the latter also being one of the worst things to happen to America since MLK approved the rape of a parishioner or prominent Black Panthers member and convicted rapist, Eldridge Cleaver, designed his male supremacist ‘Virility Pants’. (I’ve written about Black Dicks Matter before.)
When you put trans and BLM’ers together you get a fucking insane group of lady-cock, race supremacist, history revisionist, white woman-raping, assholes. In many ways, they are worse than the plain old ex-military white trannies with their muscles and bad wigs. BLT’s are self-made uber-victims and are loving it. Like all trans today, they are transing dead gay men and non-conforming women and otherwise rewriting history. They are claiming that they started the Stonewall riots. In reality, the riots were incited by a LESBIAN, an XX, a WOMAN, half-white/half-black, Stormé DeLarverie, who had been assaulted by police. Now the black trannie dudes will not only ignore this well-corroborated fact, and insist that black trannies (i.e., men) incited and led the entire riot scene. They have taken GAY black MALE, Malcolm Michaels and turned him into a transwoman. Malcolm was at the riots, but didn’t start them. He also knew he was a MAN and GAY and a DRAG QUEEN. But he is dead, and dead men can’t argue or clear up lies and other bullshit. The trans have done this with numerous gender non-conformers throughout history to bolster their numbers. It is dishonest and dilusional.
To all those idiots who think white male trans are ugly and non-whites magically do lady-face right, look again. Sexy hot, amiright? And this is a model… Leaving names off, but you can figure it out yourself.
Now, I’m going to say one more thing about the so-called feminists who don’t support the trans takeover, but who have no problem with men of colour dominating all women. I have noticed in a lot of chat spaces that the urge to shit on white people is irresistible, and the common theme is that a) white males are responsible for the trans horrors, b) white males make fucking ugly ‘chicks’, whereas all the non-white trannnies seem to be so beautiful and elegant. And I have to put my foot down and say “stop and open you gd eyes.” It’s as bad as the trans making up stuff to fit their narrative. White people are not responsible for every bad thing in the world. Sorry. You want it to be true, but it’s not. Second, there are tons of ugly non-white trannies. Go online and do a search in your favourite search engine with the keywords ‘black trans’, and you will see some of the butt-ugliest dudes in dresses that you will ever see. And they don’t ‘pass’. They are so very clearly male, it’s not funny. And for the truly brave and those who have a high tolerance for yuck, take your safe search off, and do an image search for ‘ugly black trannies’. Then you get tons of porn shots of some of the butt-ugliest dudes with their dresses OFF that you will ever see. Put your ‘must fight racism against the poor, poor oppressed menz!’ and pickme urges in the freezer for a while. Reality is uncomfortable at first, but is a much less mindfuckable place to be in the long-run. And you are less likely to hurt women, too! Added bonus of accepting reality!
In short, this is a loud, violent, delusional group of males who benefit from two of the most powerful and supported man-centred faux-victim groups in the US. Don’t get sucked into supporting anti-woman policy because you are brainwashed into believing you’re evil because of your skin colour. You will never win. They are male and they will try to kill you eventually, physically or through policy. Unlike with white males, these guys will double-whammie you with “You’re racist AND transphobic!!” and there is nothing you will be able to do to assert your humanity as a woman (and you’ll be double screwed if you’re a white woman).
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A Lone Woman in the Woods
I know if I read the title I’ve assigned to this post, alarm bells would go off. Rape. I’d be waiting for the rape story. I am a lone woman and rape has never been far from my mind since I was a teenager and was alone in most of what I did from day to day. I learned from an early age what it meant to be a female that did most things in her life alone – sometimes by choice, sometimes, not. Tracy Chapman, one of my absolute favourite folk singers, unfortunately grouped us girls into ‘good girls’ – those who moved around quickly in groups – and ‘fast girls’ – those of us who walk alone and who got raped and beaten and disappeared by men and boys. There is almost the implication that the latter are looking for trouble, and deserve what they get. I kind of hated her for that. I’m neither fast nor bad, and I certainly neither look for trouble nor do I deserve all the rapes and assaults by men of all races I’ve experienced as a lone woman and especially as a white woman. I love you, Tracy, but fuck you.
[Brief rant, get ready, or get out now while you can;)]
Many of you are likely partnered and you have no idea what it is like to have to do every fucking thing in your life alone. It’s not always a choice to be alone, but neither do I want to have to call someone every time I want or need to leave the house, ffs. [I was told endlessly in China after being stalked for weeks and threatened with rape by a black man on my university campus, that I should never leave my apartment by myself. Not possible, even if I wanted to, which I didn’t because I wasn’t the criminal.] The non-alone don’t know what it is like to have to plan every single thing you do around what could possibly happen to you because you are alone. If you travel, you are likely travelling with a male master, or children, or other family members, or maybe a friend or friends. Mothers bitch constantly about the struggles of being a mother, but they are so fucking protected by their brats. They have no idea #!$@ If a rapist or thief or kidnapper is going to target a woman, who is he going to pick – the bitch with the litter of pups with her or the lone female? Which will be easier to deal with? Men are opportunists, picking off the ones no one will miss. Breeders don’t know real danger even though they think they do or they wax poetic about how ‘dangerous’ things are for them. They’ve chosen to be mastered, to fit into society, to get the economic, legal and social tit squeeze and ass pat that society and their family gives them for spreading their legs, so the only real danger they experience is from the master they enslave themselves to. There is a lot of coat-tail privilege one gets when signing on for motherhood and/or hetero slavery. I say coat-tail because no woman is truly privileged. I stand by that. But you become privilege adjacent simply by orbiting a man or using your cunt the way it was ordained by males. When you are alone – whether it is because you know you aren’t mentally healthy enough to have a lesbian partnership thanks to years of mom-abuse and the subsequent distrust you have for women you make yourself vulnerable to, or whether you just never met someone you could envision partnering with, or whether you just don’t believe in the male-designed concept of long-term monogamous entrapment – you have a very different experience of the world. Despite what heteros and especially breeders say, lone women don’t have it easier. The so-called freedom comes at a massive price. You are economically much less well off than the average breeder and hetero enslaved. Jeez, I was looking at the median family incomes that idiot American liberals published a week or two ago to try to show how whites and blacks are different economically, and I was drooling at the median black income. I’ve never even come close – and I have 3.5 university degrees. Being white and female and not attached to a male always has meant fewer opportunities and less pay and more expectations that I’ll do volunteer work or work for free – I think the assumption is that all white women have husbands and don’t need to work (um, 1950’s much…?) therefore you don’t need to take them seriously in the job market. I probably have gotten pushed or guilted into working for free more than any non-white woman or any male, for that matter. (I just was told again recently that I should find some unpaid work. Why do I have to work for free but everyone else deserves a pay cheque???) Further, for some reason – probably the same one I just mentioned, I am always harassed for money by a segment of the population (all non-white men, and even some non-white women) that has more earning potential than me, even with less education. So being alone and a lez and white and a woman sucks the big one economically. And you are always a target for men and boys physically and sexually. Even indoors. Even in your own home or what passes for one. But outdoors??? It is always there.
Rant finished. Thanks for persevering.
So “A Lone Woman in the Woods”. For me, it smacks of a rape story, but today, no. This is a story of positivity, the beauty of simplicity, the power of a lone woman and the collective power of women through the ages – power that has been stolen by men – that that lies waiting in all of us still if we wish to harness it once again.
Today, I hiked a redwood and eucalyptus forest that lies a mile from where I am staying temporarily. I am Canadian and although I detest my country on so many levels, there is something essentially Canadian that lies in me that is tapped when I go to forests. Most of us don’t live near the ocean even though so much of our land is bordered by ocean. The greatest percentage of our population is lake- and river-situated. And we are tree people too. The forests define us. The ocean is mildly interesting, but inspires a healthy fear in me. It is a river or lake and the forests that typically go with them that speak to me on a primal Canadian and human and womanly level. Some of my relatives are freshwater (Great Lakes) fisherfolk, and I myself have spent much quality time travelling by canoe, camping in untouched forest land, and fishing. So entering this beautiful forest today was pure bliss. The thought of men and rape and intimidation and violence, as usual, entered my mind and settled in at the back, on the edges. But I allowed the smells and colours and textures and the history of women and my people take over.
Women have always been stewards of the forest, and nature in general, in the past. [Sorry, aboriginal North American peoples don’t have the corner market on nature stewardship, as much as modern Canadians and Americans are brainwashed to believe. Women from all cultures have always had a healthy respect for nature until men overruled them and ‘civilized’ them.] Before men stole medicine from my foremothers and banned them from knowledge, branding them witches and devil worshippers, imprisoning them, torturing them, tearing their female parts off or apart, killing them, and destroying or erasing years of wisdom, they were the Wise Women. The healers, the midwives, the abortionist-saviours, the repositories of forest wisdom, the herb and mushroom collectors, the pain relievers. Men became suspicious, then felt threatened, and finally said NO. Women are not allowed to have the independence of body and mind that exists separate from male control and that is deeply rooted in nature, the forests and water bodies. Men decided the forests were not to be cherished and guarded, but exploited – much as women’s bodies were exploited. Men brought death to the forest as they brought death to women through rape and endless pregnancy and ignorance and house-bound slavery. They cut the trees down. They burned down forests to deprive enemies of their bounty. They used women’s bodies and forests to fuel endless wars. To no end. Completely useless and pointless.
Much of that body of medical knowledge has been lost to Western women. Some groups of women were luckier. The knowledge they collected lived on in Traditional Chinese Medicine, for example. But the Wise Women of western countries were decimated and replaced by the male need to cut and bleed and dissect and drug, and although their modern ‘medicine’ lives on today, it creates more illness than it cures. Older cultures sneer at Western Medicine, but it is male medicine. Our ancient wisdom – our female wisdom was mostly erased. I’d bet that we did a lot of things better.
This lost history impressed upon me as I hiked unmolested through the forest. I breathed in the scent of trees and sun and wildflowers. I only ran across two people – both women – and I wondered if they felt the collective female history in the background. Probably not. Heterosexuality beats sensitivity out of you, in my experience. But I will be going to that forest every day for the next 10 days that I will be in this area.
Jane Siberry, one of my favourite Canadian singers, was the background music for my journey today. I’ve had the privilege to hear her sing three times in small venues in Vancouver back in the day. Two of her songs have been featured in the beautiful all-woman death-ritual scenes on the L-Word (Anytime) and Six Feet Under (Calling All Angels – thanks for the reminder, Radfemspiraling). The song I heard today in my mind and heart was Bound by the Beauty. It is such an essentially Canadian song and a song of woman-joy. And the nature-bonding is an aspect of Canadianism that I can get on board with. Enjoy the lyrics and videos (clear studio/audio version and a live version that is less clear) at the bottom.
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I’m bound by the fire
I’m bound by the beauty
I’m bound by desire
I’m bound by the duty
I’m coming back in 500 years
And the first thing I’m gonna do
When I get back here
Is to see these things I love
And they’d better be here, better be here
Better be here
And first I’m going to find a forest
And stand there in the trees
And kiss the fragrant forest floor
And lie down in the leaves
And listen to the birds sing
The sweetest sound you’ll hear
And everything the dappled
Everything the birds
Everything the earthiness
Everything the verdant, the verdant, the verdant
The verdant dream
The Three Douchebags of the Coronapocalypse
Three apocalyptic heroes: Trump, Xi and Putin. Who needs a brain when you have a penis?
Just an intro
Sorry so silent. There is so much to write. And this is the perfect time for writing. There is nothing to do, and I’m trapped in a true shithole: America. Luckily, not New York – I feel bad for those fuckers. Truly. That shit storm could have been prevented. And it is getting worse. And it is entirely possible, given the true lack of leadership, brain power, and coordination between states, that the US is going to see even harder times during what was fast becoming a serious problem due to income disparity, housing shortages, climate change problems, and a low point for women. Perhaps my new series on the American Downfall, which had been brewing in my mind for a while was aptly timed.
But let’s get into some particulars. I want to take a look at three very special narcissistic psychopaths who have more power than anyone deserves and who run completely unopposed in a way that matters.
China – President Xi Jinping
Luckily/unluckily, I have a shit ton of experience with the Chinese, how they think about things, how they operate, and how they destroy people from the inside out. I lived there in a surreal hell cumulatively for nearly a decade – a hell where you constantly feel like you are fucked no matter what you do or what you say. They are masters of psychological punishment and retribution, and experts on ‘spin’. As I have mentioned before, I had a Chinese leader at a college I worked and lived at look me in the eye and say with a straight face that they locked us in our building at night for our own safety.
Throughout history, the Chinese government has perpetrated numerous crimes against humanity – often unhidden crimes spun as ‘for your own good’ measures – and haven’t ever once taken responsibility for a single one, even when the hard cold truth is laid out before them. A thousand years of foot-binding is never talked about – it is suppressed women’s history, after all. Who cares? They also don’t teach their children that China bought and owned African slaves for hundreds of years. My students often like to talk about Americans like they are evil for their history of slavery, but the fact is that black flesh was bought and sold by Arabs and Asians long before even white Europeans and later, American men, got in on the action. And speaking of criticizing Americans, please note that while the US is good at incarcerating people, the Chinese are best at incarcerating and killing people. China kills more prisoners per year than all the other countries of the world combined. They don’t talk about it, though. Suppressed information. It is impressive, this ongoing cover-up of history and facts, but you definitely want to admire it from outside their sphere of influence.
It is not possible, however, to live outside their latest influence because the sphere is the entire globe – the COVID-19 pandemic. They may not have deliberately created this situation, but they certainly facilitated it. And they are squarely in denial mode, and are still spreading lies throughout their population that the virus didn’t start in China. I have several former students checking in with me on Chinese social media to smugly inform me that a) the virus actually started in Italy or the US (or whatever the rumour of the day spread by the state-owned media is over there), and b) China is superior at containing the virus. What they don’t say to me is that China has been superior at exporting the virus. And they have also been superior (as they have been for years) at hiding information, failing to report data, and intimidating and punishing people who have tried to expose the truth or criticize the government (which are seen as the same thing over there). Like everywhere, there are good, honest people in China, but they don’t survive well under an oppressive regime.
Looking at China’s recent history, what is happening now is nothing new. The previous president, Hu Jintao, was a typical Chinese leader now famous for suppressing information about SARS for over a month, holding the doctor who leaked the information to the world in prison for 45 days. Luckily, SARS only spread to 26 countries. I lived in Taiwan, a hotspot, at that time – 2003. And I was continuously told that the US had concocted the virus and deliberately infected China with it. Same Chinese tactics – blame someone else, refuse all responsibility.
Xi Jinping has followed suit, but he is a hell of a lot worse than President Hu. Admired by the populace as a president “working to stamp out corruption”, he has ended up implementing measures to reduce government accountability and transparency (not that the Chinese government was ever either of the two), and ensure more corruption. Xi named himself lifelong dear leader recently, and showers his cronies with rewards. He is possibly just as powerful as former notorious Chinese dictator, Mao Zedong. Xi has managed to wage a war on Canada due to the Huawei debacle, even killing an incarcerated and already sentenced Canadian, as revenge for Canada arresting the multi-millionaire Huawei CFO and keeping her under house arrest in Vancouver (she has a few million-dollar homes in my country). As a professional bully, Xi has also forced several international airlines to stop saying that Taiwan is a country. American Airlines, Delta and United, Lufthansa and numerous other airlines have kneeled to suck Chinese dick. Pathetic. In the last little while, he has imprisoned over a million Chinese muslims in concentration camps – sorry ‘reeducation facilities’ – Islam is seen as a mental health problem (I think all religion is a mental health problem, but incarceration or conversion can’t fix that problem…). Xi has cracked down even further on free speech, especially on the internet. He employs millions of people to police the internet and thousands are arrested every year for saying the wrong thing. The online presence of a gay and lesbian group at a university where I was living was recently shut down, students were interrogated. And now he has become the man responsible of the spread of the Coronavirus to, let me check… 180 countries (as of today, April 1st – and that’s no joke). Note to President Xi: you can cover up rape and murder in your country, but you can’t hide an epidemic, no matter how many scientists you arrest.
Classic Chinese thinking (Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesperson, Geng Shuang)
“China didn’t start it. China is not responsible for it either.”
Oh, and by the way, speaking of Chinese power and free speech suppression, we have: the Spanish flu, German measles, Middle Eastern Respiratory Syndrome (MERS), and more, but we can’t call COVID-19 the Chinese flu or Wuhan flu, despite the fact that China, and specifically Wuhan, is the origin of this disease. Stop coddling the psychopaths. It reminds me of Saturday Night Live – long-running American comedy show notorious for making fun of almost anyone and everything. I grew up watching it. I have noticed that President Xi is the only major political leader who is off-limits, and China is never joked about. As I’ve been predicting for years now, China has begun its empire, and the US is on the way out.
USA – President Donald Trump
And Trump is helping the US on its bizarre downward spiral. Only in the US, a country that claims to uphold freedom like no other country in history or in the modern world, can someone like Trump be freely elected. Only in the US, a country with the power to impeach leaders, can someone like Trump remain in office. This is a stupid man. An ignorant man. A man who doesn’t understand much, let alone science. A man who cares more about Twitter and his television presence than actual politics and the people he has been elected to protect and serve. A man who was recorded making rape comments about women and who has been accused of raping, attempting to rape and sexually assaulting numerous times since 1989. His rape comments have been recorded and made public and still he remains. Women have been surprisingly complacent about what this man stands for. Knitting fucking hats for fuck sake. Instead of demanding the recall of this human excrement. You poor brainwashed women. You’ve allowed men to shut you up, derail you, and make you believe you are free when in fact you are no better off than women in other woman-hating countries/cultures.
Rapey Trump quotes:
“I moved on her like a bitch.”
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
To me, that is his worst quality, and I think he should be put to death because of rape – like any and all men in the world. But if his deep-seated misogyny doesn’t move you, there is plenty of other shit to make you question his ability to lead effectively.
The man is stupid. I was flying within the US a few years ago, and an elderly American couple that was sitting beside me asked me what I though of Trump. Now, being a Canadian, I am pretty polite and mild-mannered, and I gave some non-answer meant to keep me unassaulted. I am so used to dealing with crazies and I am so used to being verbally (and sexually and physically) attacked for being a lone white woman (WWWW – walking while a white woman), that I just try not to rock the boat (or plane) unless I know I can escape. Long story short, the couple ended up being anti-Trump, and I finished our Trump discussion with an analysis that I though the man saw what he was doing as some sort of game. He is used to being on television where nothing is real and everything is drama. And I really think he extends this little fantasy life into the real world. The presidency is just one more game to him. But he is also stupid. I can’t say this enough times. Seriously.
I am not sure why he is allowed to speak in public. His own party is starting to distance themselves (see this article, from The Atlantic, written by a Republican). And following every statement that he makes, it seems like member of his entourage needs to go back and do damage control, placating the enraged, correcting erroneous ‘facts’, and dialing back fantastical promises and predictions. I mean, history is riddled with insane and/or stupid MEN with too much power doing and saying stuff and people having to clean up after them. And often these types of leaders, if left unchecked, can spell the downfall of a society.
If you want a clear sign that the US is falling, this is it. I would argue that two terms of Bush Junior was the writing on the wall – I mean seriously, he was dumb and aggressive and offensive and did huge damage to the reputation of the US, but Americans wanted him not once, but fucking TWICE. [Does everyone remember that hilarious, but significant, televised press conference where that Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at Bush’s head??? If that doesn’t say dunzo for America, I don’t know what would…] The acceptance of Trump doesn’t surprise me one bit, and the complacency exhibited by ignorant Americans is just a death rattle in my ears. Americans, I’m embarrassed for you, but you made your bed.
Now, getting to the virus. Trump has made the mistake of turning this virus into a blame game with Xi. They are both narcissistic psychopaths with testoterone poisoning. Xi began the coronavirus pandemic when he suppressed vital information about what was going on and thus releasing the virus out into the world at large. He is 100% responsible for that, but Trump has devastated America by behaving ignorantly, ignoring medical professionals, putting on his “We’re number one!” dumb American act (this virus can’t touch us, we’re so fucking powerful routine), and failing to take necessary precautions. So now, at this writing, the US is the most infected country in the world with nearly 204,000 cases. And it will get much worse. And Trump is fully to blame for this. My own country, despite sharing the longest border in the world, is weathering things well. We paid attention to past epidemics, we are responding intelligently and promptly. I just hope that American ignorance doesn’t destroy us too and that Trudeau doesn’t decide to suck Trump’s dick. Myself, I am stuck here in the US. I can’t go home, and if I could, I don’t know if I would at this point. Travelling ups your chances for infection, and I’d hate to import and infect my fellow countrywomen. I’ll write a different post on the shitty treatment a legal foreigner faces in the US at this time…
Honestly, now that I’m back in the US, I don’t see a lot of differences between the Chinese and Americans. They share so many qualities. The leaders do too. Both places are terrible for women. Both places perpetuate ignorance, but as I’ll write about in another post, I really feel that Americans celebrate ignorance on a whole different level in comparison to the Chinese or anyone else on the planet, for that matter. Ignorance is entertainment and it is accepted. Chinese just pass the buck, or the RMB, I should say. It’s an excuse machine.
Classic Trump:
“It’s going to disappear. One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear”
Russia – President Vladimir Putin
Where the fuck is Putin? And what is actually going on in Russia? Now, I’m going to admit that I don’t have much experience at all with Russians, and I have never lived in, let alone been to Russia. So I can’t speak to the Russian mind or way of doing things. They do have that same bizarre, bastardized, communist mentality that you see in other places like China. But Putin has put out a different image than Xi. But I included him here because he is a major player, and he is a narcissistic psychopath like Xi and Trump, regardless of his politics.
So, what is going on in Russia? Does anyone know? If you go by the little that Putin has said, he is behaving like a typical communist leader. Everything is rah-rah-rah. The government is fucking amazing. Everyone and everything is fine. Black out bad news that paints the government in a bad light or that might force the leader to take responsibility for their actions. If I look at my trusty Coronavirus map, there are only 2,777 cases in Russia. This seems odd in a country that borders 14 other countries, including China and with populated areas close to virus-overrun Europe. They also have 144 million people. How can they have so few cases? One explanation is that this is how communist regimes work. Cover up the truth, etc. But Russia also has a crappy health care system, and word is starting to get out that things are much worse than reported. One of the major problems with Russia’s data suppression moves is that Russian travel has not been restricted. They aren’t seen as a risk zone, they haven’t been quarantined or put on flight ban lists. And the result is that the general feeling among the population is that Putin is a hero and the virus will sidestep Russia because of it.
The common Russian view:
“I don’t believe in coronavirus.”
Now, it just came out yesterday that a doctor who just tested positive for the virus met with Putin unprotected. They shook hands. Moscow has been put on lockdown for a week (actually a week-long paid vacation), and the government has implemented a ID system similar to that described to me by my former students in China. They will have to register and show ID if they want to go out to procure food. But unfortunately, much of Russia is either doing business as usual or only has partial lockdown. Let’s see what happens.
Andrei Kolesnikov, political analyst, Moscow:
“It’s a clear message that we are better equipped due to our political system. [Putin] is sure that he is more efficient and this is a case to demonstrate his superiority in that sense.”
Conclusion
Can we fuck off with the politics and just work together to solve the problem?
No, a resounding no. This is how men work. May the best psychopath win!
Stay safe and smart, ladies. And stay away from men if you can. They are always filthy germ-carriers, no matter the disease. We know this from personal observation and from published research. As an example, among educated people in the workplace, “only 31% of men and 65% of women washed their hands” after going to the toilet. If you are going to catch the C-virus, it will likely be a man infecting you. What’s new?
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New Series on the USA’s Downward Spiral
It’s a page not a post, so find it here or in the side bar. All articles falling under this discussion of the demise of the American empire can be found on this page.
Happy reading!
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You’d Never Know It’s Women’s History Month
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am no longer in China. All of the options I’d been researching seemed better than China, each with their own challenges. I chose to apply for a student visa to go the US, commit to a year studying something I felt passionate about, and most important, get my mental and physical health back. China broke me down.
Well, it hasn’t really worked out like I had hoped. My savings has been cut nearly in half in less than a year. I have contracted a scary super bacterium, the likes of which I had only gaped at via online images in the whatthefuckisthat!? category. I think I would have been safer in China with the Coronavirus, tbh. I’m not joking. And sadly, I’ve encountered some of the nastiest and most aggressive women I’ve ever met in my life. I may not stay here after this semester ends. It has been a true nightmare. And I don’t recognize this country anymore – a country where I went to grad school 20-some-odd years ago. I’m left saying what the fuck is going on here? I feel like I’m living in a ‘shithole country’ that many Americans like to refer to when they talk about Third World countries or countries where women are treated like cattle (pot-kettle-black?) And can only conclude that it is part of the natural decline of a prolific and violent patriarchal empire.
So back to the topic I had in mind. I feel like this country has taken some steps backwards, especially with regard to women. It was poignantly expressed yesterday morning as I arrived at my campus. Black history month was last month – there were posters of MLK and messages posted everywhere to raise awareness. March – now – is women’s history month, and…..? Cue the crickets. Nothing. No posters. No acknowledgement. No empowerment. No history. I had expected it, but even when you’re ready for disappointment, it still bites.
But what does this mean, the failure to acknowledge women in America directly following a month-long fanfare for blacks? Neither liberals nor conservatives will support women, but for different reasons. Liberals want to congratulate themselves for being human-rightsy, but don’t want to take real power away from men. Supporting women would threaten the male power base. Conservatives are often pro-whatever-their-race-is, but will still support men of other races over women. It is this way in every corner of the world, but we’re talking about the US. So what might be some of the reasons for the no-comment on women’s history?
Liberals would likely say that women have achieved freedom and equality, unlike the poor black folks (men). I mean, women can vote and besides they are able to be prostitutes and sluts and pole dancers and shit. They have freedom now, dammit. Trying to call attention to themselves, especially right after black month, would be offensive and arrogant and would steal thunder. Make a big to-do out of nothing as bitches are wont to do. Why can’t they just accept that women have all the power?????
Liberals might also say that use of the word ‘woman’ is trans-exclusionary. Somehow, stating a fact (XX = human female) negates the existence of men in lipstick and stilettos who feel like totally puss-perfect and ready to do Woman correctly, nay, better! Putting up those celebratory posters might make 68.1% of trans try to kill themselves. And it would be all women’s fault! It is better to erase women and women’s history in order to keep the trans from throwing a typical male hissy fit at not having the spotlight. My campus is so pro-trans that I am partially surprised that they didn’t put up women’s history posters focusing on trans history… I suppose doing nothing is better than a trans take-over? Both are forms of erasure. Can’t win here…
Conservatives? Do they celebrate women? Not really – unless said women are really good at supporting their man. Powerful women are those who can scrub a skid-mark out of a pair of boxers or quell the family’s whining with a well-baked pie. So putting up posters at an institute of higher learning kinda goes against what they believe in. Education at least opens the door for female freedom. While many women do pursue the education, sadly enough, few walk through that door.
A few historical points about the US track record with women that most like to gloss over, make excuses about, just plain old don’t know, in favour of whatever the political climate is:
- The first slaves brought to the US were white women from Europe: wife-slaves, unmarried female children to be sold as wives, and female ‘criminals’ who were to be sold into marriage or prostitution. Europeans also rounded up girls (‘street urchins’) living on the streets to send over as rape fodder. This model has applied to all colonies in the history of the world. Women and girls are always the first and last slaves.
- Women were not included as people in the Constitution or Bill of Rights. Women have been trying for a federal Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution for decades. It is 2020 now, and nearly 100 years after women first drafted the amendment, there *might* finally be the 3/4 of the 50 states needed to officially add said amendment. It is being debated. People will fight it. It may be years until women are protected humans on paper. I’ve noted that white women as a class are the only US citizens not protected in any way under the Constitution. There are official racial protections, gay protections, religious protections, and of course, white men wrote the whole g.d. thing for themselves, so they are protected. But white women have been left out. White privilege applies to men, and a woman of colour can always fight her oppression on the basis of racism. Hopefully, the trans will not sabotage things for women and the federal ERA will go through.
- Black men got the right to vote in 1870. No woman was allowed to vote until 1920. There have been barriers to voting for both groups, but black men were accepted as adult humans well before ALL women.
- There has been a black male president, who despite being less experienced and qualified, was accepted more than once over an experienced and qualified white woman (or any woman, for that matter). Neither candidate was perfect, but enough already. I don’t really believe that the presidential office attracts the right kind of person, given how corrupt the system has become. I just don’t see a woman as President in the near future. When there finally is one, she will suffer and be sabotaged, and be held up as ‘the reason we don’t want women as presidents’.
In conclusion, I believe that all groups except women are fully supported for a few reasons. First, men are part of all oppressed groups, except the group known as female humans. I’ve written about this before to explain why hate speech against women isn’t called hate speech. Secondly, and equally important, a history of oppression is only acknowledged when the group in question is no longer enslaved. Women are the only group in the world, including and especially in the US, that embraces established female slavery institutions and welcomes new forms of female slavery. To talk about women’s history is to acknowledge that women were and still are oppressed – unless you seriously alter the facts; unfortunately, much of women’s true history has been erased as it is.
Anyhow, happy women’s history month, and welcome to my series on the American downward spiral.
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I Can’t Report it in a Place That Matters
I’m in the middle of spending money I don’t have trying to change my shitty life. I’ve never really had the resources to change my life for the better, but I have depression and cPTSD from living in constant exposure to racism and sexism and the violence and threat that accompanies that. I see myself sinking, so I’m getting desperate, and I know, as a single, childless woman, things get much, much worse for me with each passing year. Further, I belong to a silenced segment of the population who has no voice when it comes to violence. Female, middle-aged, non-man-fucking, white, childless, and unfeminizing. In other words. I’m not human, and most of the world, sadly including liberal, white faux-feminists, wants me dead or disappeared or just plain old silenced. My reality is not a story the world wants to hear. Because it destroys the narrative of the ‘evil white male’ as the sole problem on earth and the ‘rich white bitch’ as the most powerful creature imaginable. The former isn’t true any longer, and the latter never existed. But they are convenient caricatures.
We’ve entered a new, very fucked up age where oppressed women are being told they are privileged and should therefore shut up and that the very people who are oppressing them and threatening them most are somehow the most in need and should therefore be supported above anyone else. It’s ass-backwards in a way we’ve not quite seen before. Yes, the world is actually quite different than what we read in the papers. And you’d know this if you listened to real people’s experiences in an unbiased, unselective way or lived as an unprotected (unpartnered, childless, white) woman yourself.
I have also noticed something else, and it is happening in tandem with or possibly even as a result of this brave-new-world turn of events. Inter-racial, sex-based crime is on the rise. And we are pretending it doesn’t exist. You see, it’s not white guys doing it, so of course, no one wants to focus on it.
I experience a lot of violence and general racist sexism in China. Not just from the Chinese, but from those I encounter from other places too. I can only remember one verbal assault by a white male while living in Taiwan 14 years years ago. That’s it. White guys are douchebags, and they talk too much (like all men), but they are not the biggest problems on the violent crime front. In multiple countries over the years, I can’t begin to count the assaults and threats committed by non-whites against me. It’s not just men who hurt me, but they are the more threatening group, obviously.
As recent as two weeks ago, I was assaulted by three black male immigrants on a subway in Paris, very early one morning. They weren’t ‘young ruffians’, just in case you automatically started to make excuses for them, but closer to my age. Presumably, they had wives and families. And they saw me, and physically assaulted me, and tried to prevent me from escaping. I had to yell and get physical to defend myself. The train wasn’t full, but all other passengers were black or Arab, so of course, no one helped me. (I’ve experienced this phenomenon in L.A. as well. Let the white bitch die, kind of thing.) So I couldn’t report it either for obvious reasons. White. Middle-aged. Female. Poor. Dressed very shabbily. Resourceless. Foreigner. And the perps – protected black male immigrants. They won. They always do, I’ve discovered this universal truth through all my years of victimization by non-white men. And this is the new running theme, especially in Europe, but increasingly elsewhere. White men used to be the problem. They aren’t any longer. Not in the way that non-white men are now. The latter have a get out of jail free card. They are ‘oppressed’. And the targets are increasingly, lone white women. We all know that women always have to pay for what men have done or are perceived to have done. Am I targeted because I am white and female? Black women have always told white women that they aren’t ‘women’ but ‘black women’. White women have always protested because if they said ‘we are white women’, it would be racist or elitist, but finally, after considering black women’s words very seriously, I think they are 100% right. White women need to start seeing themselves in the same way, especially in light of our reality. We are being targeted for our race AND sex, they can’t be separated, and mark my words, the violence is going to escalate, especially for those of us who are not of the protected class (I.e., women who are usually in the company of another person, such as male owner, lesbian partner, children, or who have enough money to remove themselves from the racist violent hordes). Solitary women are in danger. And we can’t always choose to be unsolitary. Some of us just end up that way, sometimes simply because we’ve been the sole minority in a racist, sexist culture and community and work environment for years on end.
Although not superstitious, I’ve been terrified that this year that I’ll be raped. I was violently raped by a Muslim Arab when I was 35, and gang-raped when I was 25. I’m 45 now. It’s a decade rapeversary that I had started dreading an entire year before I turned 45. So far this year, I’ve been assaulted sexually and physically several times by Chinese, Arabs and blacks, but I’ve managed to escape rape. Not going out much has likely helped. But the time spent in Europe, especially in France and Germany, has been terrifying. And violent. The sheer number of traditional, uneducated, violent, non-white males let into those countries without a criminal record check has been a recipe for trouble. (Although, really, what they do would never show up were record check ever done…) The women aren’t really a problem except for the religious bullshit, but the MEN are. In whose mind is letting in masses of pro-rape, anti-Western-female, uneducated, religious fanatics a good idea? It doesn’t hurt local men, but it is a massive threat to women. Telling women they have to accept and respect yet another anti-woman culture, and to shut the hell up if something bad happens to them since they probably deserve whatever comes is just no good. I find it is protected, liberal white women who scream the loudest about foreign rapists’ and anti-woman-terrorists’ rights. It is shameful to shame the true victims, the unprotected women who aren’t fucking men in exchange for improved lifestyle and resources and relative safety.
I don’t participate in the whole ‘MeToo’ thing mostly because I don’t think any heterosexual endeavour can ever make a difference to women as a class because mixed messages don’t work, but I wonder if any women have been brave enough to speak out against non-white assault of white women. It isn’t just me going through this. That I know from the hushed conversations with confused, self-hating, but angry, white females I’ve talked to.
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Danger Pay
When I was 17, I did my time at McDonald’s. Working at Micky-Dee’s is a rite of passage for Canadian teenagers. I stayed for 6 months, and left for another job after a) they raised my shitty pay at the same time that minimum wage went up in my province and called it my ‘scheduled wage increase’ which I was supposed to get after 6 months probation (funny how my ‘raise’ still meant that I made minimum wage…), b) they refused to give me training on other stations than the standard ‘chick position’ of ‘window’ (taking orders inside the restaurant) despite multiple requests, and c) one of my fellow employees terrorized me one night during closing, for which I got in trouble. I came to learn with time and experience that making a fuss when being attacked by a male will always result in you, the female, getting in trouble from others in addition to the trouble resulting from the assault. Always. Always. No one will ever convince me that men are held accountable for terrorizing, hurting, raping or killing women. It’s always a joke, an accident, a mistake, a misunderstanding, and the best one, her fault (she wanted it; I thought she was playing around; I didn’t realize she was serious when she said no/stop; I’ve held a knife to her throat before and she liked it…). Morons. Privileged, violent morons, supported by men and their female cocksuckers.
I think we need to raise the pay of all girls and women of all positions, ages, education levels, and experience. And we need to do this in the name of danger pay. Males have suggested to me before that if workplaces are too dangerous for women, then they should get married and stay at home. Yes, great solution. Really gets at the issue here. The problem is a female one, not a male one. I believe men, not wanting to be shown up by more capable women, deliberately threaten women in workplaces in order to force them back home and under the ‘protection’ of their own personal rapist/slave-owner. It’s quite the scheme.
Well, I like the danger pay idea better. I’m also in favour of the death penalty for all hate crimes against women, but we can start with higher pay. People receive danger pay when their lives are put at risk in the line of duty, and I think as a woman, working with and among men is much more dangerous than say, working on an oil rig. And an oil rig or a polar bear won’t rape you or force you to look over your shoulder every time you come and go! Women are in danger even when they have desk jobs.
So what happened at McDonald’s, that paragon of human rights in action? Well, I was forced to work ‘close’ every weekend. That meant that the restaurant closed to customers late at night, and a handful of staff were left to close down operations and clean the place. I didn’t love late-night duty, but such is the schedule of a part-time female worker. One night, I was on with an aboriginal guy from my high school. I didn’t know him. We worked different stations. We didn’t travel in the same circles at school. And he was scary-weird. My friends were ‘weirdos’, but the harmless kind. This dude had what you could only call ‘crazy eyes’. I’ve never met anyone with quite the same dead, but scary, dark pools that said to me, ‘I want to see your intestines spill from your abdomen while I eat potato chips and masturbate and hum in a high, off-key pitch’. I’d had plenty of bad encounters with boys and men by the age of 17, but I’d never before met and known I was in the presence of a bonafide psychopath. My psychologist father frequently talked about psychopaths at the dinner table, so I knew all about them and realized the truth when I finally met one.
Anyhow, I was doing my thing, trying to finish up my work as quickly as possible, when the aboriginal psychopathic teenager decided he was tired of cleaning and wanted to have some ‘fun’. This fun took the form of a long, sharp knife; crazy, dead eyes; and the pursuit of me around the restaurant.
Have you ever had the misfortune of watching a standard horror movie – you know the ones that provide masturbatory material for males and scare the shit out of females so much that they believe even more deeply that they need a ‘good man’ to protect them from all the psychos out there wanting to rape and kill them? You know, male-designed propaganda that does its job well? Well, there is always a scene in these types of films where the psycho finds the girl, and she runs. And she screams. And the crazy thing is that no matter how much she screams and how fast she runs, the psycho, who is actually just walking in a relaxed, but anticipatory, sort of way, always manages to catch up to her and corner her before killing her in some gruesome way.
Minus the killing part, this is EXACTLY what happened to me. He ‘chased’ me around the restaurant. But I was the one running. He was walking. Dead, crazy eyes pursuing me slowly. He had the butcher knife in his hand. And I screamed. I couldn’t get away. I will never forget the terror for the rest of my life. And feeling completely stunned that this was happening in my workplace of all locations (!?!)
We had a manager on duty. Yeah, we did. Really. And he yelled at me to stop screaming. Did he ask the psychopath to put the knife down and stop terrorizing me? Fuck no! Why would he do that? Women are to blame for everything that happens. They force psychos to pick up knives, to chase them, to do horrible things to them. Men can’t help themselves, you see. Women bring it out in them. Men have no control, and thus must be coddled. Women must be blamed. And the men around these violators will support their pursuits, because deep down inside, all men want to to this kind of shit. Not all go beyond their masturbation over the idea or the actual witnessing of horrors, but THEY ALL SUPPORT the terrorizing and destruction of women and girls. If your special hubby isn’t a rapist, terrorist, woman-beater, whatever, just know that a) he will never do anything to end the male privilege and feeling of superiority that comes out of males terrorizing women, and b) he secretly loves how vulnerable it makes you. When you are vulnerable and scared, it means you need him. When women are empowered and unafraid, they just don’t need men for anything whatsoever. Get it? It is a racket, and all men are in cahoots whether they are the perps or the beneficiaries of the terrorism. No one is innocent. And when you praise your big, strong man for protecting you or for being so big as to not beat you, you reinforce the lie. The lie that women need men.
Anyhow, after getting in trouble that night, after no repercussions for the psycho, after my faux pay raise, and after repeated denial of training to advance my skills and increase my pay, I left for another shitty restaurant job where I was at least allowed to make tips. The aboriginal dude stayed on and was promoted to manager (yes, aboriginal males have privilege and power over ALL women regardless of what myths and lies feel good on your tongue). Can you fucking believe it??? Kudos for the psycho, and another female is forced out of steady employment and establishing some workplace longevity due to fear and discrimination.
Think about how many women leave jobs due to threats from male colleagues, bosses or customers/clients. It’s much more common than we think, yet Human Resources Departments are oblivious to why women’s work histories look different than men’s, even when they have equal or more education. We wonder about all the factors involved in women’s increasingly diminishing pay, especially that of white women (ALL races of men as well as Asian women make more money than white women with the same education these days). We wonder why men tend to stay longer at jobs and have more success in their careers. Men don’t face sex-based threats at work. Ever. Fear is almost never a factor when men choose to leave or change jobs. Men can stay, increase their skills, standing, and pay, while benefiting profusely every time a woman is forced out due to harassment, fear or other sex-based harm/threats. And women can’t cite this kind of thing during interviews as the reason for leaving jobs or for short stays at companies. You won’t get a job if you seem like a trouble-maker. And as I said earlier, women are considered trouble-makers when they voice dissent when they are being terrorized or threatened. The punishment continues long after the actual incidents are over.
Danger pay. I want it. And I want it retroactively for my 30-year work history.
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My Request is Perfectly Logical if You Remove Your Head from Your Ass
Well, I guess I’m not gone for good. As I said, the story never ends. Sometimes, you need to take a break from it, though, and focus on other things. And focusing on other things I am. On mathematics. My story – the story – still goes on, however. I’ve been back in China for almost three weeks, and I’ve been been physically attacked by men twice already – one on my own small university campus – and I went through a terrifying racially-sexually motivated harassment episode by some drunk Chinese men on the subway who didn’t like the fact that my student was speaking English to me in a country where only Chinese is supposed to be spoken. Sigh. No, the story never ends…
But today, I’m talking about something other than Chinese racist misogyny.
So, I’m concentrating on brushing up on over 20 years of mathematics education for personal reasons, and I’m using some relatively good sites that serve my purpose well. One of the sites, in particular, has made sure to include female and non-Western names in the word problems. But still, the site is run by men, so while they can easily address racism issues, cuz all men can get on board with anti-racism, they still can’t get the anti-misogyny quite right. They still refer to many of the female characters as “Miss” and “Mrs.”. And I sent in a complaint with a very clear explanation of why these titles need to be removed from the material and be replaced with “Ms.” or “Dr.” depending on the circumstances.
I know, I know. No big fucking deal, right? I’m just a bitchy, hairly-legged, lesbian feminist cunt who is nit-picking details that don’t really matter because she can’t get a man to fuck her. Or something like that.
Wrong, bucko. And I’ll frame this issue in terms that people will understand easily and take seriously. Racism. People take racism very seriously (unless it is racism against whites, particularly white women). So let me offend your liberal sensibilities so that you can understand why marital titles for women are a big goddamned problem (STILL!!!) and need to be addressed like yesterday.
So imagine that all your math questions, when they refer to a black person, designate them either ‘house slaves’ or ‘field slaves’. There was no other possible job for them. After all, as we all know, blacks are only good for slavery. We saw that proved through a few years of slavery in the US, initiated by Europeans (especially the British) and embraced by black African race traitors/traders, and by American southern owners of plantations. So knowing this tradition and how effective it was in keeping social order and contributing to capitalism and southern wealth and PROGRESS (don’t forget progress), why should we bother changing anything in say, math questions? And also, keep in mind that during that particular period of slavery, black slaves took their designations and adopted families seriously. Being a house nigger was a source of pride and led to greater perks than if you just worked as a field nigger. And belonging to a prominent house/family, raised them up in the world too.
By now, your skin is probably crawling, and you’re probably denouncing me as some sort of race supremacist. And of course, I’m laughing to myself, because nothing could be further from the truth. If your back is up, then part of my job is done. Now for part two, which will be much, much harder for you to get because you, along with the entire world, hate women whether you realize it or not.
My point is that like black slavery, women have been enslaved, but with a few significant differences. First, female slavery is a much more serious and entrenched problem than any racial slavery ever has been. Without female slavery, the international system as we know it would collapse completely. You see, women have always been enslaved. Women were the first slaves, and they were (are) enslaved on the basis of their chromosomes, genitalia and biological capabilities (aka SEX). Men have only been able to accomplish what they have by stealing the intellectual, physical, sexual, and emotional services and energies of women through slavery and the ubiquitous threat of violence. The other major difference between racial slavery and female slavery is that the latter is the only form of slavery that is not only still accepted, but completely, 100% legal. To this day. Marriage, prostitution, exotic dancing, and everything that exists when sexual slavery is condoned are encouraged by ALL societies, and dog help you if you don’t comply. The above board female slavery system (aka ‘marriage’) is alive and well, with a whole commercial industry supporting it, and we still use the titles associated with this slavery. The ‘house nigger’ for females is the “Mrs.” – she holds a higher place in society than any other group of women, and although a slave whose cunt is owned by one man (unless you belong to a polygamous cult) and who can be legally raped by one man (her husband), has more social, legal, and often, economic, perks than does a single woman. The single woman – the ‘field nigger’ – is “Miss”. By her title, we know that all men can have access to her body any time they wish. When unmarried, she has no protection from a single master, unless she is young and lives in her father’s house, and any man can rape her with few to no repercussions. Although remember, like black female slaves were often raped by their male owners, girls today can be raped by their fathers. So what does ‘protection’ even mean??? Anyhow… most married women, like the proud house niggers of days of old, hold their title and predicament as a source of pride and status. Most hold the slave name (family name) of their masters, just like owned blacks did. And some women even say that they have an ‘M.R.S.’ degree (I still remember the gloating look on my uneducated mother’s face when she told me about her ‘degree’).
Note that there isn’t a single person out there who would shame or destroy a black person for decrying the period of black slavery as one of the most shameful periods in American history. Not so for women who denounce marriage, prostitution or any form of female slavery. It is not allowed. Women are still, as Yoko Ono once said, “the niggers of the world”. I would add that they were the original niggers, though.
I know I’m talking to a brick wall for the most part when I talk about why getting rid of marriage, slave designations/titles, and female sexual slavery are so important. I know that most people relegate me and uppity women like me to the category of crazy, feminazi bitches when we draw attention to parallels between racial injustices of the past and currently embraced injustices against women. I’m sure the anal canal is a comfortable, warm, tight, safe space in which to nestle one’s noggin, but keep in mind that the only thing that truly belongs there is shit making its way out of your body. But ‘head-in-ass’ disease is very common these days.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, there has been no response by the MALE writers at my math site in response to ending the endorsement of female slavery in their materials despite me having graduate education and work experience in test construction and question writing, as well as related experience in research showing the effects of sex stereotyping in content and pre-test-sitting instructions for female testees 😉 (Guess what? telling female test-takers that women are shit before they take a test leads to lower test scores for them, even when they are top of the class and excellent test-takers…) But, what the hell do I know about the effect of target content on special populations of test-takers, right…?
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Correction: Black Dicks Matter; Women’s Lives Don’t
I’ve just spent the last week in Seattle. It’s not like China. No kidding. Bus drivers say ‘Hello’ and ‘Thank you’, people are fairly friendly, I’ve had more pleasant interaction with strangers in one week than I get in a whole year in China. And it is not a million degrees with a million percent humidity. But at the same time, I’ve been in close proximity to six trannie males (men in dresses) that I was aware of – all young, all white or Latino and all hideous and not even close to passing. Two of them stood in the middle of the sidewalk and refused to budge as I tried to get by. I was worried about the sleeping quarters policy for the dormitories in the budget accommodations where I was staying. Do they let these she-males sleep in the female-only dorms, forcing terrified and rationally thinking, travelling women from around the world to submit to male sexual fetish? I didn’t ask, and I didn’t see the telltale ‘we’re going to take your rights away’ policy notice that says “We are INCLUSIVE”, but who knows… I refuse to sleep in coed dorms for a reason, and now I have to worry about trannies in female dorms…
I also came dangerously close to a loud street parade protest organized by Black Lives Matter in response to another cop shooting. I’ve opined on the Shooting black males phenomenon before, and I haven’t changed my mind. This recent protest was over-populated with white women – you know, the evil bitches responsible for everything wrong in the world – and black women. Women, fighting for men. As per usual. And I have questions. Why aren’t black women getting shot by police? Maybe because it is black men with guns getting themselves into suspicious criminal circumstances. Black women don’t do that. They are women. So this is a male issue. Men shooting men. Why are women fighting this fight? Why are white women blaming themselves for something men do to men? Because they are trained. Not because they are guilty of anything. Second. Why aren’t crimes against women of all colours taken seriously? Why are there no groups called Women’s Lives Matter? Why don’t men overwhelmingly take to the streets to protest the rape, murder and battery that is far, far, far more common than the killings of five usually armed black men per year? Perhaps because the men would have to take the protest past the rape-strip club outside Pike Place Market, and the protest would ring false. There are no clubs devoted to hurting black men because hurting black men is wrong and illegal, but the rape and strip clubs are a dime a dozen and men, including black men and cops, have built the world on rape and the objectification, enslavement and killing of women. It is a male right to hurt women, and women accept it too. No one will ever stand up for female freedom en masse.
I strongly urge this group to change its name to reflect reality: Black Cocks Matter. Be honest. This movement isn’t about black women. Or black people. The black movement never has been. It’s about men – the right for men to have access to and power over women. Black men won the vote in the US 70 years before ALL women (including white women who were and still are slaves), and America welcomed a black male president before a female one (even a white one). Women are still, after decades and decades, trying to get protection under the US constitution and recognized civil rights. Black men and black women who identify more as black than woman have those protections. Don’t kid yourselves. As much as everyone is convinced black men have it so rough, know that they still have more rights, political power and earning potential than ALL women, including the hated white woman. Only Asian women out-earn black men consistently when matched for education. All men, including black men and Latino men, as well as Asian women out-earn this mythic powerful creature, the white woman, when we look at matched education and full-time work. So when you fight white women, you are fighting a marginalized group that is low on the totem pole of political, economic and legal power. Black Cocks Matter. Women, not so much.
I’d really like to see women put as much effort into saving and supporting women as they do into sucking privileged cock. Some white feminist recently suggested that black women have such a hard time deciding between ‘identifying’ with race or with sex. Waaaaah. Poor, poor things. Sorry, I don’t have much sympathy there. They can do what they want, of course, and for the most part they ditch women to protect cock. I mean, who wouldn’t choose rapists over sisters… But sarcasm aside, I don’t get it. I’ve spent years living in daily racism, but I’ll choose to side with women of the race that oppresses me over cock of my race any day. Women don’t oppress. Men do. And when you destroy sexism, you destroy all the the other oppressions, as woman hate is at the root of everything, including, and especially, racism. Female bonding is the thing men try their best to destroy as strength does come with greater numbers and knowledge and the desire for justice. But that is just too hard a concept for most people to grasp, apparently.
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Racism and Laziness: Excellent Reasons to Breed
This may end up being a little long and winding, but I’ll get to my point eventually.
The Chinese see it as a point of pride that they are ready, willing and able to accept any amount of abuse heaped on them, especially if they are doing it in the name of nationalism or some other male-defined in-group/out-group mechanism. I remember a few years ago, I was just about to sit down with an 18-year-old male I was tutoring, when he responded to some pleasantry I’d made with one of the most bizarre non-sequiturs I’ve encountered. With clear glee, superiority, and enormous nationalist and racial pride, said male told me that the Chinese army was superior to any Western army in history. As an example, he told me about the zeal of the army following Communist dictator and personality cult leader, Mao Ze Dong. They went without shoes and food (and in some parts of the country – although no Chinese will tell you this – were so starved they had to resort to cannibalism) to support the communist fight. In contrast, he cited the Italians (not sure which war he was referring to – WWII?), who refused to fight until they received food from their generals. Clearly, the Chinese were and are superior, according to this arrogant, ignorant boy, because they made the cause greater than their human rights. I had no real response to what he said. He was fucking loonie-toons. A product of Chinese and male brainwashing. The Chinese part being the acceptance of any and all human rights abuse all for the sake of a cause, no matter how fucked up that cause might be. The male part was, of course, the military bullshit. Only men truly fetishize devoting one’s life to killing and raping in the name of honour.
Suppressing my hatred for race supremacists, and focusing on the money I was earning, I moved on with the point of our meeting, which was to prepare this douchebag for a formal English examination that would allow him to take his filthy mind and psychotic ideals and ethics to the West to take advantage of our education and economic systems. His family was rich, his father the head of a university. I didn’t ask him how good ole Chairman Mao would have seen his family’s wealth or his father’s membership in academia. Mao didn’t like the educated or the wealthy (unless it was him or his cronies!) Let’s just say ‘re-education’ in the countryside and wealth repossessed by the Communist party would have been on order for this silly boy and his kin.
Mao is gone, but the idea of not challenging abuses and questionable ethics from on high is deeply ingrained in the Chinese mindset. Don’t get me wrong, if a Chinese doesn’t accept you as superior in some way, they won’t accept abuse or even non-abusive requests for action from you. This is why many of my students (especially the males) refuse to do work in my class or even attend, or why many people refuse to answer my questions in Chinese out in public. I am racially inferior. And I am a woman. They don’t have to give me the slightest respect, and they know what’s what. I have no power in China – economic, political, legal, or of the penis-derived variety (see my Oppressor Triangle to understand how this works). But it is fascinating how little challenge there ever is to the system or even to a Chinese boss. This hierarchy is clear, established and unquestioned. And abuse and illogical and unethical systems proliferate and thrive here. Little ever changes unless it comes from on high.
And so we get to the education system, and something the Chinese absolutely hate. For some reason (I think it is a ‘study and conquer your enemy’ situation), the government decided that English should be part of the curriculum here. Not English as a language or a skill, but as busy work. As something to test. Most students spend at least 10 years studying English. Not English as a useful communication tool, but the study of how to pass multiple choice grammar tests. Indeed, most students finish 10 years of English with no speaking ability and very poor writing ability. Even university English majors can often barely produce a grammatically correct sentence. If they study at all, they spend most of their time memorizing vocabulary and cramming for obscure grammar tests. But no practical usage is encouraged by teachers or carried out by students.
Unfortunately, part of this weird language study protocol involves importing foreigners to teach ‘oral communication’. It is the most bizarre job on the planet and if you take your job seriously, it is disappointing and mind-fucking because you are absolutely set up to fail due to the way education works here. Schools can gain more money and prestige if they hire foreign people, but there is no quest for quality or establishing useful curricula. A lot of (male) wingnuts are hired – those looking to fuck local women (especially their students), drink their faces off, and travel. But a minority of us are actually quite educated, experienced, and give a shit about our work and reputations. Most qualified teachers can’t handle it here because the system isn’t set up for real learning. Like everything in China, it’s all about appearances. Surface. No substance.
Because the system is so poorly set up and so few shits are given by the Chinese about quality of learning, foreign staff are thrown into Kafka nightmare-like work situations with no information, no support, and a hell of a lot of hate and racism surrounding them. Some schools may provide a ‘foreign teacher liaison’ – a Chinese employee at the school whose duty it is to control the foreigners, control the information the foreigners have access to, and deal with their inevitable complaints when they are ostracized or have to deal with inefficiency and illogic. It is never a singular or special position. Usually, it is a teacher in the English department and the lowest male or female on the totem pole who is forced to take on this extra role for no extra pay. It is often seen as a form of punishment, so you can imagine the resentment and poor working environment created by the administration. The local teacher has to take on an extra workload and deal with people who are not truly welcome or supported and who immediately find themselves in a bad environment. And the foreign staff is forced to deal solely with a person who resents them, but who is required to deal with them. Typically, the rest of the local staff in the department, despite being teachers of English and who you would think would want to know more about the culture and language they are teaching and usually have never been exposed to themselves, will never, ever speak to or be friendly to the foreign staff. It is a truly bizarre work environment where words like ‘foreign friend’ get batted around, but are not followed up by cooperative or welcoming ‘friendly’ behaviour. The administration creates an environment where only resentment and racism towards foreign people builds up and festers.
I recently took on a part-time job at a private college that is located in the middle of a construction zone, far from the main city and not really close to anything interesting. This means that they have a nearly impossible time finding foreigners willing to sign contracts with them. I mean, seriously, who the hell wants to live in racist isolation with nothing to do when they could work in a large (too-crowded) vibrant city that is not overly far away? Personally, I’m happy to be there as a part-time worker. The pay is the best I’ve ever made anywhere in China or Taiwan. But I will say, I’d never sign a contract with them and live there full-time. It really is in the middle of nowhere and it takes a few hours just to get into the city from there. There is barely a market available for fresh produce, and otherwise, you are stuck eating at the filthy school canteen or at the few dubious restaurants adjacent to the school.
But they found a few suckers to sign on, and ended up getting screwed recently by an American couple – although it was the male of the couple who ran the whole scam and from what I heard, created constant problems from day one. The couple was new to China and signed a contract with the school. Half-way through the contract, they demanded more money (despite having successfully negotiated a higher salary to begin with when they signed on). Reasonably, the school refused a second pay raise after only four months, so the Americans did a runner in the middle of the night with no notice. They even stole the laptop computer they were borrowing from the school, and left the place mid-semester without two full-time teachers. Then the other American they had working for them decided to leave early using some excuse with no one to cover his classes. And then a third American man who agreed to fill in for the remainder of the semester showed up for one day and then quit. WTF, American men??? Along with me, they hired a part-time, black Muslim man from Africa (not a native English speaker), and now he is busy screwing them, cancelling classes right, left and centre during the past month because he has been starving himself in the name of Allah. Even though the Chinese won’t tolerate Christian stuff, like the rest of the world, they are very rationally and reasonably afraid of Muslims, so they have let this guy run roughshod over them. So apparently, I am the only stable and reliable foreign teacher they have. No needy children bullshit. No psycho spouse bullshit. No religious bullshit. And I’ve been in China long enough to know and expect all the abuse one inevitably encounters working for the Chinese, so I don’t throw hissy fits every two minutes when I am treated like shit. Seriously, I’ve worked in worse places. This place is good compared to many schools.
So we get to my foreign teacher liaison. She uses all the right words: “foreign friends” being chief among them. And she is very careful to cloak her many, many complaints about foreigners in neutral language. But she hates us and she hates working with us. She has told me that she has asked the boss many times to release her from this position. The problem is that she is the only teacher without a Masters degree, so she is stuck. She can be fired easily if she complains. There is an over-abundance of English teachers with Masters degrees, and seriously, the Chinese don’t even need to speak English to teach it, so she is completely replaceable. She is in the middle of a Masters, but can’t seem to get it done. It has been a number of years now, with no end in sight. The racism doesn’t seem to be enough motivation to get it done. Poor thing…
Luckily, she has come up with a solution to deal with her racism and laziness. She has decided that she is going to have a second baby. If she can get herself knocked up, then she will be able to argue that she cannot take on the extra burden of dealing with the hateful, goddamn foreigners. She’ll never have to talk to us again, but she can still make money off our language! And!?! She won’t have to finish her Masters degree!!! Being a Chinese mother is a good deal – if you like that kind of biological slavery, that is. Every Chinese woman has one to two grandparents living with her who do all the cooking and cleaning and childcare. The father/husband does nothing, of course. Like in all countries of the world. But the Chinese wife who works outside the home seldom has to do much beyond playing with the kid and some light household duties. If the old folks get sick, that is another story. But as Chinese women tend to breed young, the grandparents tend not to be that old or sick when they move in and take on household duties, thereby lightening the load. Unfortunately, it is usually the mother-in-law that moves in (rather than the woman’s own mother), and more often than not, she tends to be a nagging and nasty abusive piece of work, thanks to Patriarchy and how it fosters hatred between women.
So, after this woman told me about her awesome racist and lazy motivations for having another baby that the world can’t support, she remembered to quote the standard mantra, like a good brainwashed woman: “Oh, and of course, I love children.” Yeah. Sure you do…
I’m betting money that she’ll be knocked up by the time I return to teach in the new semester and she’ll never speak to me again because it won’t be part of her job. ‘Foreign friend’ my ass…
I truly dislike this culture. Years of racism and misogyny and the isolation I’ve had to endure in this country has changed me for the worse. After so many years here, I am not sure if I could reverse the damage to my psyche, but at this point, I’m used to it, I live with it, and I don’t lie anymore about the fact that I’m only here for employment. I’m not interested in travelling in China and I know enough about the culture to know there isn’t much I like about it. I can separate individuals from the culture at large, and I do have a few friends here who are good people, but generally speaking, the culture fosters things I don’t value in humans. It’s cold and brutal, and people have no shame or hesitation about passing it on. They take abuse if it comes from those deemed superior, and they have no qualms about dishing out abuse or disregarding humanity or human rights if they feel they are superior. I don’t function this way – it goes against my nature and my logic – but I have no choice about being included in the mess if I want to stay employed. I certainly know exactly where I sit in the Chinese hierarchy…
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Racism and The Oppressor Triangle
Until you actually understand racism and the fact that it is a male invention that derives from and depends on misogyny, you are going to be confused about human interaction, especially when you move around geographically, and possibly about how to react to assaults upon your female body. You will be confused about who constitutes a racist and what constitutes a racist act. You’ll be confused about ‘racially motivated’ versus ‘racist’, and you’ll definitely be confused about whether a behaviour has nothing to do with race and everything to do with misogyny, economics, or just plain old meanness directed at the closest target available.
Racism, or the domination of one race over another, is not necessarily dependent on having a majority population. Numbers help, but they are not necessary. Racism is also much less simple to discern than misogyny. The world wants to dichotomize it (aka ‘only white people are racist’), but it is both incorrect and too easy. Woman-hate IS a simple dichotomy; it really is easy to figure out. Men hate women. And these men include all the ones we love to coddle: gay men, trannies (men who think they are women), men with no arms and no legs, homeless men, Jewish and Muslim men, and non-white men. Sexist behaviours and crimes are easy to pinpoint because men hold all the power, while women don’t. Men do all sorts of shit to women (and get away with it) because they hold all the power. Even with other mitigating factors, such as economics, males always hold power. The least powerful man can still rape (and get away with raping) the most powerful woman and holding that sexual threat over her is a source of the world’s greatest, most accepted, and longest standing oppression.
Racism is not so easy. First, it is based on misogyny. Without woman-hate, racism wouldn’t be a thing. It wouldn’t exist. It is a male creation, the sole purpose of which is to preserve bloodlines. And bloodlines are ONLY preserved by controlling women and who sticks their dicks into their fuckholes. Just listen to any racial or ethnic supremacist group (white, black, Chinese, Jewish, etc), regardless of race or ethnicity or geography, and sooner rather than later, you’ll hear them talk about not allowing inter-marriage or inter-dating and about breeding and sterilization. That is control of women, their cunts and their uteri. Control of women is at the root of racism. But then again, if you understand radical feminism, and what ‘radical’ actually means, this is obvious to you and you won’t find yourself derailed by intersectionality issues.
Second, racism isn’t a dichotomy despite so many people wishing and hoping it were. There are several races on the planet (and even more confusing, several more ethnicities that are sometimes treated and function like races), and depending on where you are, different races have different power. The race that rules (and thus can be ‘racist’) has three sources of power, which I make clear in my Oppressor Triangle below. Further, in a dynamic between two people or groups of people, we can consider a fourth source of power – the one at the centre of everything. The penis. When a penis is present, it predominates. Penis is first, and then the other three sources of power follow. I call this the Oppressor Triangle, with a dick at the centre.
The Oppressor Triangle
Let’s go through the Oppressor Triangle briefly. You can apply this triangle to any oppression you wish. Take misogyny. Woman-hate. This one is easy because with cock at the centre, you don’t even need to go further in the analysis.
Cock at the centre. First, cock is the overriding factor. If cock is present, it will cancel out any power a non-cock (i.e., a woman) has. Cock wins over vagina. Always. Even if an individual woman has legal, political AND economic power over a man. Dude can still rape or threaten rape. That is the ultimate oppression. Further, a man with a cock will be in a position of power over a trannie dude with no cock. And a trannie who cuts off his cock and sports a dress, pumps and lipstick, will hold power over women by nature of being born and raised with an attached cock. Women have negligible power over one another. However, a woman can gain power over another woman through ‘cock proxy’. If she is a cocksucker – a practising heterosexual woman or a woman with a son – she will have power over an asexual woman or a lesbian or a childless, single woman. Basically, the less cock you have in your life, the less power you have in relation to other women. It is exactly why matriarchy wouldn’t/doesn’t function on a domination-submission or slavery paradigm.
Economic Power. Economics can be determined by sheer wealth, but also by social relationships and status. People with more money obviously have more power than people with less money. But there is another aspect to this that is not immediately apparent. People with families have more economic power than people with no families. This might seem confusing at first because most people have some sort of family they interact with, even if they don’t like them. People who have no family, which includes parents, cousins, uncles, aunts, spouses and children, have much less economic power than those with these traditional relationships. As a single, childless person, if you get sick or injured and cannot work, you lose your sole income and form of security. You have no one to take care of you, cook for you, bring in money for you, and do basic things people with families take for granted. Further, you are at high risk of death or serious life-changing implications if the illness or injury is long-term. It is hard to imagine, even if you are not 100% cool with your family, but in dire circumstances, you know they will help you out (even if there are strings attached). Those of us without that economic safety net live in a shit-scary world where the threat of illness or injury is constant and terrifying. And once you get a taste of helplessness, and how easily and quickly you can be rendered helpless, everything you do can be very scary. There is a reason single, childless elderly women (most of whom are white, by the way) are one of the poorest segments of the population in the Western world.
Political Power. This can very obviously refer to the power that a politician or someone enmeshed in the political world (e.g., lobbyists, union members, bureaucrats, etc) might have. But it can also refer to the power that your not-specifically-political group membership has politically. For example, all over the world, governments and citizens are terrified of Muslim violence. Even in dictatorial China where I live and work, the government is terrified of Muslim terrorism. Muslims are the only group in China who don’t have to abide by the government’s strict rules regarding population control, income and freedom of speech. They can say and do and go where they want. In the last year or two, there have been Muslim acts of terrorism in China (including where I live), and this relatively small group had the political power to change security measures in every single transportation station (metro, train, bus stations and airports) in the affected cities and beyond. We’ve also seen the political power of male refugees in Europe recently. ‘Oppressed’ rapists attacking local women were given asylum and their crimes were ignored and wiped from the internet. And our all-time favourite oppressed people, Jewish folks, hold enormous political power (and economic power, for that matter) all over the world. Despite being a tiny, tiny minority of the population, they have massive political clout with the American government. In comparison, women, the largest oppressed group in the world, have no political power whatsoever unless they put forth an agenda that supports men, thereby not acting on behalf of women at all.
Legal Power. Political and legal power are often confused. They can be present at the same time, and can even depend on one another. All forms of power can be interdependent, but it is not a given. Legal power can refer to that which a lawyer or legal professional has because of knowledge and training. But it can also refer to the power that comes from having one’s rights protected by law. In this way, citizens will have legal power over undocumented workers (the latter may or may not have political power over the former, however). A citizen also has legal power over a legal foreign worker. There is nothing like the threat of having one’s visa rescinded to keep someone under legal control. A diplomat has the legal power to commit whatever crimes he wishes without repercussions in his host country. Men have legal rights that women don’t have – in all countries. Men have massive legal power in cases of the sex crimes they commit, as the burden of proof is on the victim (woman) to prove that she has been violated, and often this is dependent on refuting irrelevant details about her character and behaviour. Men also have the legal power to define crimes that they commit and the rights that they have. Trannies (men who think they are women) are eroding the legal rights of women, and are so legally (as well as politically and economically) powerful that they are erasing women altogether.
So let’s get back to racism.
Racism can also be explained using the Oppressor Triangle with cock at the centre. The race that dominates in a geographical area will conduct business based on female oppression and have economic, political and legal power over other races. The dominant race isn’t automatically white. In many places, white people don’t even factor into daily life. The dominant race is based on economic, political and legal power and is controlled by men only. Racist behaviour will be committed by those with penises or racially motivated behaviour will be enacted by those who act on behalf of penises. So saying that only white people are racist is incorrect no matter how good it feels to arm oneself with that illogic. I’ll use an example based on my own years of experience – China. In China, the Han Chinese (about 20% of the world population; 90% of the population in China) are the dominant ethnicity (some feel they function as a race, however) and hold power over all other races and ethnicities within the Asiatic race living or visiting China. There are many poor Chinese, but there are many, many rich Chinese. China is actually a very rich country, with an unequal distribution of capital (like all other countries). They have economic power (and are actually fast overtaking Caucasians in the United States and Canada as the dominant race, economically, according to data). Within China, they are politically powerful – they dominate the government and have serious political clout around the world. And they have legal power – they dictate the laws that run the country and often break international law when negotiating with other countries. When dealing with whites, blacks, Arabs and other foreign and non-Chinese people in China, the Han Chinese dominate. The former hold no power over the Chinese economically, politically or legally. Even with some power (e.g., economic power), no non-Chinese will dominate a Chinese, unless it is a non-Chinese man over a Chinese woman. In a girl-on-girl scenario, a Chinese woman will dominate a non-Chinese woman with racially motivated behaviour, rather than outright racism, if backing a male agenda. Women can assist men in a racist agenda, but I am hesitant to hold women responsible for racism as racism is borne of misogyny. Like sexism, women can buy in and support cock domination and mandatory heterosexuality, but men are ultimately responsible. Learning to stop calling women ‘racist’ is similar to learning to stop calling women bitches and cunts. It is irresistible to hold women responsible for what men have created and perpetuate.
So in short,
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a male of a non-dominant race
- I care little about this as men fight each other over the right to rape all women. when you back the rights of an oppressed man, you will only end up exchanging one master for another.
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a female of a non-dominant race
- This is what I call ‘racist misogyny’ and is standard all over the world. It explains the ‘white whore’ phenomenon – the common occurrence white women experience when living and traveling in other countries and which no one wants to acknowledge.
- A male of a non-dominant race has racial power over a female of the dominant race.
- This phenomenon explains why white women almost NEVER report assaults and rapes by men of colour in their home countries. It also explains ‘sex tourism’ (aka ‘rape holidays‘), and rapes of local women (prostitutes and non-prostitutes) committed by visiting military personnel in foreign countries (i.e., white, black and hispanic American soldiers stationed in South Korea).
- Between women, there is no racism. There can be racially-motivated behaviour if the target behaviour is prompted by a heterosexual, male-dominated, anti-woman agenda. Otherwise, power is based on other sources (economics, politics, law, etc).
Given that women don’t create or perpetuate racism unless they are clearly working a male agenda of domination over females / woman-hate, it is not the responsibility of women to end racism through subordinating themselves to members of other races. You can do your part in not participating in the existing dynamic in your particular area by doing everything you can to help women of any race; not fucking men of any race; and not breeding males. Racism comes from men and is based on rape and the control of women, their uteri and their spawn. Sadly, when I see feminist conferences put racism on the agenda, I know what is in store – usually the shaming and guilting of white women. Not only is that a fucking waste of female energy, but when you heap shame or guilt upon a woman, you lessen the likelihood that she will speak up when a male outside her race inevitably violates her. No woman of any group deserves male violence or to be shamed for what males of her race do to women outside her race. Remember that while it may be in your best interest to avoid women who support men as they likely have nothing in common with you and can muster enough borrowed (male) power to harm you, politically, they are not the ultimate enemy.
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Domestic Abuse on the Street – Foreign Woman Tries to Intervene, Fails
After a week of constant misogynist student comments, constant tit-ogling by my friendly neighbourhood construction workers, daily wonderment at how my male students were able to gain entrance into university and college (they are so fucking lazy and stupid, I can’t believe it!), daily racism and misogyny shit sandwiches by all and sundry – especially my neighbours and co-workers of three years, and on top of it all, 35°C (that’s 95°F to you, Yanks) every single day in both my workspace and home (no A/C!!!), the last fucking thing I needed was dealing with a commonplace street assault.
In China, it is perfectly acceptable to abuse your wife or girlfriend on the street in broad daylight. It is not quite as bad as South Korea or Thailand, where you can physical beat the bitch down to the ground with no repercussions (I’ve witnessed this in Thailand and tried to intervene once – a Japanese man stopped me – and a friend of mine lived in Korea and saw it all the time), but the Chinese-style woman-beat-down is an every day occurrence. I have a history of intervening in male abuse of women – moreso in my youth when I was stronger and dumber. No women have ever helped me (quite the opposite, actually), but that hasn’t stopped me from trying to help dumb-ass heterosexual women. I’ve learned, mostly. I don’t bother helping heterosexual women with their problems anymore. I fought for my own fucking freedom, and I continue to pay for my decisions because het women refuse to get on board in solidarity in the name of change and making female life better. Nothing has EVER in the history of the world been gained through waiting patiently – especially when it is waiting for people (men) to overcome their abusive tendencies and dumbassery. If you want freedom, you need to fucking fight for it, sometimes violently, especially if you don’t have money, or power in other areas of your life, or the right connections. So if you’re not going to fight, then you suck it up, and don’t whine about it. You only get to whine if you follow it up with action. So, I generally refuse to be sucked down into another woman’s problems for a number of reasons. Her boyfriend will try to hurt me – that’s a guarantee. She herself will almost always hurt me in response, she will usually choose the cock she is sucking and getting raped by over a friendly sister, and return to him after she uses me, and will end up supporting a system that *sort of* helps her (the cocksucker) and badly hurts me (the rebel). It’s the same philosophy I use in other areas of life, such as with my students. If students are lazy, selfish, and don’t give a shit about anyone (sometimes including themselves), I don’t bother with them. Only the ones who are willing to do the hard work get my support beyond what I am paid to do. My time and energy are fucking precious, so I bet on the winning horses. Blaming the victim? Well, fuck. At what point will we actually ask women to take some fucking responsibility, take some fucking risks? Men are not going to change until we force them to change, impose serious consequences for their actions, control them, kill them, or separate from them. Or some combination. Victimhood is real, but telling women to just accept things, or not to take risks, or not to self-examine is bullshit. Nothing will ever change until women take charge of their lives in serious and aggressive ways. If you need proof, look at the lack of change over the last several thousand years due to pussyfooting around the issue. I’m not an activist, but I don’t sit on my ass and wait for other people to save me while my self-serving, anti-woman actions end up hurting other women. I have some serious burdens that a lot of women don’t have, but I still take responsibility for my impact. And other women are in a better position to make positive change. But they don’t. So what the fuck?
But I couldn’t help it today. I just can’t fucking stand violent men getting away with their privileged bullshit. I came across the standard domestic abuse scenario on my way to the subway station. Two university students outside the gates of my school. The boy, twice the size of his girlfriend and much larger than me as well and less than half my age, had pulled her to the side of the sidewalk and had the ‘spiral fracture grip’ on her forearm that you see with sooooo many domestic abuse situations. He was lambasting her for something – probably he was jealous that she was talking to a friend or she didn’t wear the right skirt or something serious like that. She had assumed the submissive, childlike, head down pose that is recognizable across all cultures as ‘beaten, broken, abused woman’. It must have been the androcidal impulse in me that increases as the weather gets hotter. Men rape more in hot temperatures. I feel the urge to kill rapists much more in the summer. Go figure. But anyhow, I stopped and yelled, “GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!” Didn’t even register to him. He was focused on his bitch. I moved more into his line of vision (I was walking on the road, not the sidewalk), and repeated my command. He turned to me in hatred and yelled, “FUCK YOU!” I yelled ‘fuck you’ back, but it was futile. He is the big man. And Chinese. So he has racism and sexism backing up his claim to power. I am just a white whore. Like an insect. My word means nothing. I have no power as a woman and especially as a white woman – a member of a powerless racial minority with a score of zero on the Oppressor Triangle™. He dismissed me with barely a look and returned to sexually abusing his girlfriend.
I walked on, androcide in my heart. There was nothing I could do. Not even the police would be interested in this kind of stuff. I know this well. I was dismissed before when I reported a black rapist racially profiling me, stalking me and demanding to come to my apartment to fuck (rape) me on our Chinese campus. My teaching liaison refused to contact the police. Rape and sexual assault are not matters for the police. I’ll be writing about China and its annoying mantra/euphemism on ‘harmony’ soon. Point is that women have no voice, no rights in China. But who are we kidding, women have no voice and no rights anywhere. In fact, it is getting worse for us in countries where women are supposedly ‘free’ (according to rapists, I mean men).
I managed to cool down some, gradually, but with racism and misogyny in full force over this past week, I’m having a very serious “I hate China” week and I am fantasizing non-stop of ramming chopsticks into male eye sockets. It brings me a little peace to think about it, but the fact that rapists aren’t dying in reality leaves me unsatisfied and frustrated.
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Right Idea, Wrong Motivation: Dickless Wonders
About 6 years ago, a straight male, blue-collar acquaintance of mine who is no longer in my life, suggested casually in conversation that all boys, upon puberty, should be vasectomized. Inwardly, I ferociously agreed, but I regard every single thing men say with suspicion, so I didn’t say anything in response. And of course, the truth behind the opinion came out. As usual, with regard to male motivations, I was right. Men inevitably out themselves for the selfish shitlords they are. You see, this dude’s opinion had nothing to do with protecting women from one of the nasty effects of coerced rape that is mandatory heterosexuality and penis-centred ‘sex’. Neither did it have anything to do with the fact that almost all children that exist aren’t genuinely wanted, but are products of the forced breeding program that results from enforced heterosexuality and female slavery.
He was only concerned with saving males from having to take responsibility for pregnancies resulting from getting their rapey freak on and thus ruining THEIR OWN lives. It turns out that once upon a time, this particular dude had avoided resisting raping/fucking some female that was conveniently located in his friend’s apartment (picture a porn scene – male walks in, sees female, cheesy conversation for 20 seconds, and immediate fuckage ensues), she got pregnant, and he ‘did the right thing’ (aka ‘ruined his life’) by marrying her and bringing the unwanted child into the world.
I agreed with the idea this dude brought up – although not his selfish motivations – but I would take it further. While I personally don’t think we should allow any more males to be born into the world, if we are forced to allow them to exist, we should remove their external genitalia as soon as they’re born and effectively sterilize them. There is nothing more dangerous than a penis. Even if these dudes can’t procreate, they can still rape if they have their schlongs. My motivation is one of the greater good – not a case of male individualism and self-indulgance. I don’t believe in the ‘right to breed’, especially in light of our population, crime and environmental crises (a post on how I interpret ‘reproductive rights’ forthcoming). But I do believe in the right of all females to be safe from all males. That is at the core of feminism after all: the liberation of women from men.
It brings up a question though. Would women and girls truly be safe and thus be set free from men and boys if we removed their junk? Our ongoing slavery and fear comes directly from what men do with their penises. They rape us, they impregnate us, they threaten us with them, and every other fear we have results directly or indirectly from penises in action. Would their power over us disappear with their nuts and bolt? Would dickless wonders make for safe compadres? If saving sperm were outlawed (as it should be), and women actively chose to procreate with other women (thank you science), we would eventually be male-free and self-sufficient. A freedom that is hard to imagine except in fantasy.
And for the bleeding/bleating hearts who think that you have human rights in mind and might get indignant at what I’ve suggested, here is a question for you. Why is the male ‘right’ to violate women and girls and to threaten women and girls with what penises can do more important that the female right to safety from men? More specifically, if dicks cause problems, why, instead of easily solving said problem in the most direct way possible, do you tell women to just ‘live with it’?
[Part of the Year of the Fantasy series.]
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They Are All the Worst
Even though I’ve never really been much of a ‘joiner’ by nature, I’m beginning to think there is an actual reason I don’t join or invest a lot of social energy in even radical feminist groups that might logically appeal to me. I just find that these groups tend to complicate feminism by moving away from the prime directive: female liberation from men. I just can’t see feminism ever having a real and lasting impact when women slide into a concession-to-dick-based policy rooted in intersectionality. When this happens, women themselves create and maintain a hierarchy (some women are more oppressed than others; some men are not as bad as others) instead of sticking to a policy of liberation – all women from all men.
Before I get started here, I want to be explicit that I am in no way standing up for white dudes. They are their own phenomenon, but their brand of misogyny and power base is no better or worse than that of any other group of men on the planet. Maybe in your little personal world, they are the worst thing to happen to you, but for many women, white men have little to do with their personal oppression. My point here is that making distinctions between groups of men is fucking irrelevant when it comes to discussing domination of, violence against, and hatred towards women.
In other words, outside of one’s personal life of woe and and on a slightly larger scale, geographical regions, when it comes to naming the problem, which is men as a class:
- Race is irrelevant.
- Ethnicity is irrelevant.
- Wealth or lack thereof is irrelevant.
- Education level is irrelevant.
- Religious affiliation is irrelevant.
- Sexual orientation is irrelevant.
- Occupation is irrelevant.
- Psychotic gender bullshit categories and the grafting on of fake titties to a man-chest are irrelevant.
The world isn’t shitty because of white men. The world is shitty because of men. The world is shitty because of the cumulative contributions of men from across time, space, and race. No particular group of men is the worst. All groups of men are the worst, and just as you waste time fighting about which group of women is more oppressed, you waste time when you try to figure out (or just plain old assume) which group of men is the worst. Just as different women deal with different shit (because all women experience shit, as women), different men drop different kinds of turds (because all men drop turds, as men). This is easy. And if you can’t go with this easy policy, feminism will never succeed. The reason men are still dominant and hurting us is because they go with ‘easy’. They hate women, all women. Kaboom. Easy peasy. And we waste our time quibbling over details, which in the grand scheme of things (i.e., outside your personal queendom), just divide us. And when building up momentum in what is still a fledgling movement, getting butt-hurt because your special interests aren’t being specifically and uniquely addressed insures that everything will quickly devolve and fall apart. We see this every friggin’ day. And now we are losing our women’s spaces, our girls are being groomed for whoredom earlier than ever before, and herstory is still not allowed to be taught in schools.
Let’s just skim the surface with a few examples of why all men are the worst. Remember that there are thousands of years of conveniently and deliberately erased examples of female destruction at the hands of every group of men that has ever existed. We all descend from rapists. Every. Single. One. Of us.
I live in China, where 99.99% of the men here are Chinese. My Chinese female students (20 years old) are already being pressured into and groomed for marriage despite being allowed to attend university – especially since women are in short supply compared to the number of men. There is no opting out. Talk about sexual slavery… Chinese men are worst.
A few years ago, while in L.A., I went to the creepy crawly Museum of Death. There is all sorts of fetishistic shit there in addition to historic news footage and genuinely interesting stuff on cultural death ritual. I was stopped short in front of a television set playing footage from Africa where a group of about 200 black African men had ganged up on a single lone black African woman stripping beating and raping her. She died in the end. Her ‘crime’? Who the fuck knows. Being a woman? Black African men are the worst.
A couple of years ago, in India, a woman was gang raped to death on a public bus. Further, there are an estimated 3 million female prostitutes in India, almost half of whom are under 18 years of age. Many of these girls are born into prostitution families or sold by their families into this kind of slavery. Indian men are the worst.
White men are leading the pack of rabid, violent, narcissistic, misogynist, middle-aged, autogynopheliac, pedophilic, ex-military, rape-apologist trannies. (And you can pick and choose which adjectives apply. At least one does to every trannie out there.) And white men, gay and straight, are upholding these men’s rights to minstrelize women, and erase their biological reality, their voices of dissent, their spaces, and their very few political rights. White men are the worst.
Muslim men are well known for their barbarism and hatred of women. They cut off clitorises and sew up vaginal openings and rape and kill women in the name of ‘honour’ and Allah all over the world. My own country tolerates all of this under the banner of ‘cultural sensitivity’. Muslim men had a rape and assault-fest of white women in Germany and Sweden over this past year, and it has been brushed under the carpet and the white women chided and blamed for being cunts and whores who were just asking for it. Muslim refugee rapist men are being welcomed into Western countries in droves. Myself, I was nearly killed by a group of them in Belgium 20 years ago, and then later in Canada, brutally raped by a Muslim of my acquaintance. Muslim men (including Arab, black, and Asian Muslims) are the worst.
And Christian men are the worst. Jewish men are the worst. Men of any and all ages are the worst. Aboriginal men are the worst. Disabled men are the worst. Homeless men are the worst. Conservative men are the worst. Liberal men are the worst. Gay men are the worst. I could go on and on and on.
The point here is this: men are men. They are all WORSE. White men aren’t the worst. They are ALL the worst. Having brown skin doesn’t make you more noble or empathetic or somehow above violence against women. XY = male = violent = woman-hating. Special exceptions? They still benefit from this violence, and I haven’t met a single one who devotes his life to freeing women from violence and oppression. Any ‘help’ comes at a price. Never forget that. No one is worse than anyone else.
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When You Aren’t Born with Radar
I have something serious to say, but I’ll start it off with some light-hearted fun. After all, we all know that being female in this day and age and having to deal with the constant male-created obstacles to true humanity is exhausting and depressing and downright dangerous, sometimes. Blowing off some steam every once in a while is an absolute must. So I’ll break this into two parts. The fun part and the serious part.
Part I: Get your trans on!
I’ve discovered a ‘make your own trannie’ site!!!!1!
Well, okay. That’s not what it is called and that is not what it is supposed to be for. It’s actually a very harmful site geared towards teenaged and pre-teen girls who already deeply hate themselves and who have been heavily indoctrinated into the cult of whoredom otherwise known as The World Under Patriarchy.
Yeah, it’s Seventeen Magazine online. And their message is “Welcome to life as a woman, you ugly, worthless bitch!”
What Seventeen offers us laydees is the opportunity to upload photos of our normal, ugly selves and then gives us the tools to dream of what could be… with enough money and self-loathing and insecurity, that is. They fulfill several of the Patriarchal goals: wasting the time and money of females (two things that would help women become independent of men), reinforcing the idea of women as sex and of having one’s value wrapped up in saleable fuckability, and hammering home the idea of inadequacy and self-hatred.
Now for those of us who don’t comply with femininity, who realized early on that wearing make-up makes you look like a cheap clown, and who couldn’t apply eyeliner properly to save our lives, this tool ends up being a hilarious diversion. Or… a helpful assistant in the development of a blog post. Upload photos of men and in less than 5 minutes, you have your own brand-spanking new M2T ready to totter off down the street in stilettos. When I was a child, we didn’t have computers to mess around with, so I had to settle for cross-dressing my Barbie and Ken dolls. (Luckily, no one in my family knew or cared.) If I were a kid these days, I’d be online, trannifying every boy in my class.
Now, in order to avoid publishing photos of dudes who might actually be recognized, I located some computer-generated pics of males that were used in an oh-so-important psych experiment on attractiveness (I’ll save you the mystery of the study findings: human people find computer-generated images more attractive than images of actual people. I prefer men on paper rather than in reality too, but I don’t think that is quite what the study findings were getting at…) So, I uploaded two photos of men to Seventeen, and went to work, sweet memories of trying desperately to snap Barbie’s bikini top closed around Ken’s thick masculine torso swimming in the recesses of my mind. When I discovered velcro and elastic, back in my childhood sewing days, I was in heaven. And so were the dolls 😉
In case anyone is wondering, Comp-gen male #1 was given a Kiera Knightly hairdo. Comp-gen dude #2 got the Bella Thorne up-do.
Part II: How the fuck do I tell the difference?
But the original purpose of this post was not to waste time making boys look like stereotyped versions of girls. I can’t imagine that being fun for very long (for me, that is) – I actually prefer doing algebra, to be honest. No, I really just wanted to ask a question. The question concerns an ability all men think all women have, and when it turns out we don’t, and men’s feelings get hurt, we get blamed instead. The ability is this: all women are supposed to innately be able to tell the difference between a sweet, little, innocent man and a rapist. A kind of ‘rapist radar’, if you will. In reality, no women has this. Sometimes, a really creepy dude will set off ‘alarm bells’ in you head, or you’ll get a gut feeling about a dude. But really, women don’t have this magical ability to sort men into two boxes. Rapist and non-rapist. Scary piece of shit and Nice Guy™. What women end up doing instead is naturally fearing ALL men. You’d have to be a complete dingbat (or thoroughly destroyed inside) not to. Given how pervasive violence against women is, and how few shits the powers that be (men) give about women’s safety and rights, the correct position for women to take is to fear all men at all times.
Men don’t like this. They constantly complain that they are ‘not like that’, that women are unfair, and that they hurt men’s fragile little feelings when they react to them with fear or mistrust. Trannies (M2Ts) – the uber-males of the cult of gender fetishizing – are much worse. First, they are mentally ill; second, they are very entitled due to the whole male privilege/rapist class status thing; and third, they have constructed a narrative of false oppression that is necessary to maintaining their delusion that they are female and that allows them to justify obliterating women’s very necessary boundaries.
So tell me this:
Can you tell which one of these two dudes will hurt you?
What about these two dudes?
Right. You can’t tell. It could be all of them, or one of them, or none of them. And until a radar is developed that will lock down a violent predator before he can act, women’s spaces must be preserved, the law must reflect the needs of women and their safety, and men must listen to the word ‘no’ and get it through their heads that being a special unicorn and not a rapist is irrelevant. Your feelings are nothing compared to women’s safety and basic freedom. It is the height of arrogance and narcissism not to be able to see this. All men, every single one of you, including trannie pervs, benefit from the effects of violence against women. And you know this is true – or else you would be fighting tooth and nail to end it. And by the way, even if this radar could be developed, women still need their own space away from men. That should never be on the table for elimination.
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Know Your Enemy: Humiliation in Action
I can’t believe I blocked this out, as I had intended to write about this social experiment earlier. It is directly connected to my previous post on fighting back against men using humiliation and shame as effective tools. Thanks to some email correspondence with another blogger (you know who you are 🙂 ), my memory was jogged, and here is an unplanned part two of that post.
My father was a clinical psychologist and sex therapist, and as I later became aware and able to articulate, a misogynist dickface. He knew little about child or female psychology despite having studied and treated both populations, but he sure as fuck knew something about male psychology. Perhaps not on an insightful level that might have been put to widespread good use for womankind, but it came in handy for me one day when I found myself in yet another physically abusive situation at the hands of a male. This time, I was in the 11th grade (for non-Canadians, this would be age 16).
The physical, sexual and psychological abuse of girls starts at birth and only gets worse as you get older and as boys grow comfortably into their socially-rewarded natural proclivity for the sado-sexual abuse of females.
No stranger to sucker punches to the gut and crotch, sexual assault, being surrounded and kicked and humiliated and chased and stalked by boys from the age of 5 – yanno, when formal schooling starts – I found myself in Grade 11 with a new admirer.
Let’s call him Shitlord. I can’t remember his real name, and this one is better suited to him anyhow.
A couple of times a week, I had Spanish class, following which, like all students, I would exit the classroom to move on to another room for another class. Nothing unusual about that. But at some point early in the semester, exiting that classroom became something to dread. You see, a boy – a classmate of my sister’s actually – had class in the same room right after I did. I didn’t know Shitlord, but for some reason, he knew me. And he took it upon himself to show up early, position himself just outside the door to the classroom out of view, and to trip me as I exited so that I fell flat on my face. He found it enjoyable. I didn’t.
Now, I wasn’t large and I wasn’t small. But I was strong for a girl. At the age of 16, my father took sick pleasure in pitting me against his 30-something-year-old male friends in arm wrestling matches. Most times, I nearly won. It was amusement for the men-folk. But despite this acknowledged strength, I wasn’t a naturally violent or aggressive person. And the indoctrination of females can render their physical strength useless, much of the time. I was horribly shy, depressed and anxious, and as a female from a hardcore emotionally abusive household, rather terrified of standing up for myself and rather confused about what normal behaviour towards girls was actually supposed to look like. I usually accepted emotional and psychological and sometimes sexual abuse, since that was ‘normal’ for me, but I was pretty sure what physical abuse was. And I didn’t fucking like it. And I hated being humiliated in public as well. Ending up sprawled on the floor with everyone laughing at you is humiliating.
So one day, my suppressed rage was unleashed. I leaped to my feat and took this boy by the front of his shirt and slammed him up against the bank of lockers with some choice language and cocked my fist. It was easy to do and I probably could have beat the shit out of him, to be honest. He wasn’t a huge boy. It was doable. But he laughed at me. It was in public, and I was just a girl. Boys aren’t physically afraid of girls usually. I desisted somehow realizing that while it might be satisfying to physically dominate Shitlord, it probably wouldn’t end well for me.
So uncharacteristically, I approached the father figure for some advice. I knew that I’d need another tactic, if there were indeed other tactics available. And at 16, I knew I might be able to get some help from a master manipulator. And oh boy, I knew what a mind-fucker a psychologist could be.
Dr. Dad listened to the problem and suggested the following. “You need to embarrass him. This guy is a bully. He is insecure. Beating him up won’t do anything. Find a way to embarrass him in front of his friends.”
So I thought about it. And an opportunity came up the following week. We had two lunch periods at my school, and I discovered that Shitlord had P.E. class during my lunch on one of the days. I had been eating my brown bag lunch outside with a friend and we were sitting on the bleachers of the football/soccer field. And out pranced Shitlord’s male gym class. They were learning to toss footballs. I saw my chance. I called out, “Shitlord!!! Hi!!! Hello honey!!! I love youuuuu!!! You are so sexy!!! I love watching you!!! Throw the football more!!!! So hot!!!” I made kissy faces and gestures. Over the top. All the guys started laughing at Shitlord. He looked pee-in-his-pants uncomfortable. And my girlfriend and I laughed and waved for the entire class period making sure Shitlord was self-conscious and uncomfortable the whole time.
And that stupid, violent piece of shit never bothered me again. In fact, I never again saw him waiting outside my classroom as I exited after that.
The moral of the story is that you have to know your enemy. You have to study them to find out what will work against them. It ain’t one-size-fits-all. Find their weaknesses. For most, avoidance is the best thing to try first, although we are frequently forced to interact with them. So to stop them, study them. For some, you do have to be violent in response to them. For others, you have to engage in serious mind-fuckery. Some will respond nicely to you using their own tactics against them. And for some, like simpleton bullies such as Shitlord, some basic public humiliation will do the trick nicely. There is always a weakness.
But.
Keep in mind that all men have power over you as a woman. You are at an automatic disadvantage on many levels when your opponent is male, and you are at even more of a disadvantage if the male can rely upon some ‘oppression’ status (race, low SES, trannie/M2T, etc) to use an excuse for hurting you or blind authorities and the public to the most important thing: male abuse of female. Some male enemies are formidable due to other power advantages such as money or political clout, a history of violence which lends them confidence and cockiness, or mental health status (psychopaths are fucking dangerous). Always have back up if you engage in direct interaction. Document everything they do to you. Try to establish witnesses. Keep a paper and/or video and/or audio trail of everything they do to you and any interaction you have with them. Be careful about initiating anything that could be construed as an unprovoked attack even if you are setting up a trap to catch them in their abuse. For most average non-psychopathic/non-narcissistic dudes, shame and humiliation are the most effective defense strategies you have against them. My father would likely say the same thing if you asked him. You usually won’t stop a dude physically without a weapon, and you can make your own decision about whether that is an option for you… In violent situations, which is unfortunately what so many women are forced to deal with, always go to the police, even it if is only to document incidents. The police are generally not friends to women, and often dismiss what women have to say, but it may help in establishing a credible pattern of abuse. But I refuse to accept what all women are told: that’s life, life is unfair, you just have to accept it and be positive.
I have had a little bit of success with non-psychopathic men in situations that are not physically dangerous. In this case, it is about reprogramming the programmed female response to males (submission) and sometimes using male psychological and conversation tactics against men:
- Stopping misogynist conversation bullying by using male derail tactics
- How to avoid being sucked into an abusive online convo with a male ‘feminist’
- Ignoring narcissists: stopping abuse and energy-suckage before it starts
Margaret Atwood said with great insight that men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are also afraid of this, but humiliation and shame absolutely pale in comparison to all the other things we fear from them because of male inborn and socialized sadism. Men live free and clear, with no real threat from women. But, from a young age, girls learn from repeat experience that they need to fear men for rape, sexual assault, stalking, beatings, torture, disease, pregnancy, permanent injury, and loss of life.
Also note that as a female, it is not your job to ‘fix’ men and boys or to try to figure out why the dumb shits do what they do to women and girls. It is your job to take care of yourself the best way you can and by using whatever means necessary to fend off male abuse. If humiliating abusive males seems ‘unfair’ to you, ask yourself who started it it all in the first place (answer: men) and whether putting females into horrible situations is fair.
Male offense = crime, oppression, privilege.
Female defense = completely justified, necessary for health and survival.
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Why Don’t We Use Public Humiliation and Shaming on Men?
Humiliation and shaming are important tools in the arsenal that men are handed at birth to be used mostly against girls and women. One of the fastest ways to get females to comply or to desist is to take a behaviour that has been forced on them and to make them feel dirty and evil for doing it. A super-nova mindfuck if there ever was one.
There are few countries more adept at passive-aggressive fuckery than China. It is an accepted practice in all environments to psychologically destroy people. Public shaming and humiliation – and the key part in a hive-mind culture is the PUBLIC part of this – is a well-loved tactic. When I lived in the Chinese countryside several years ago, I remember walking past one of the community bulletin boards. A communist leader had posted some photos that were part of the official government record and they told the story of several public humiliations. I wish I’d photographed the photos at the time – I wish I’d done that with a lot of the shit I saw in what I consider to be ‘real China’, the countryside, the China that most of the world never, ever sees – it seemed very medieval to me. In a nutshell, in each photo was depicted a person who was clearly some kind of criminal. A sign had been hung around their neck and they were stood in front of the community who all looked on. Public humiliation and shaming. Arrest wasn’t enough of a punishment. The people had to be made an example publicly. It is an extraordinarily effective form of punishment.
And it is commonly used on women.
In a recent post, Radical Witch (sadly, her blog has been discontinued) pointed out astutely that in no country do cops take the harm and subjugation of women seriously. In fact, they often support it and participate in it. They are mostly men, working in an aggressive, power-driven field. They have everything to gain by destroying women. China is no different.
Some photos have come out demonstrating how the police treat prostitutes in China.
Prostitution is illegal in China. But like all males in the world, Chinese men love it, want it, use it, and publicly denigrate the fact that it exists, and more importantly, the women who become trapped in it. And prostitution is rampant. The government calls it illegal, but all officials use prostitutes during their meetings and official visits. And then, every once in a while, something like what is depicted in the photos above happens. Only men win here.
Several years ago, I was taking some Chinese classes, and I was talking to one British dude who worked as a chemist and a manager in a toxic chemical plant in Southern China. He was in charge of meeting with Chinese government officials in order to do health and safety checks. As he recalled one event, the officials showed up, completely hand-waved the inspections away, and waited for him to provide the food, drink and prostitutes. This is very, very standard for China. Revelry and debauchery on the public dime (rmb) and then signatures on crucial documents that are supposed to make sure workers have safe environments and that the environment is safe from human dealings.
So here is my question. Why the fuck don’t we start publicly humiliating men for the shit they do to women? And I mean serious public humiliation. As it is, public knowledge of a politician sending a dick pic or getting caught with prostitutes does nothing to stop him from further success – especially if he is religious. But let’s parade him naked in public. Let’s measure his dick on camera and make comments about its inadequacy. Let’s pose him in a degrading pose he forced upon the prostitutes he used and laugh at him. I mean seriously, if this stuff is acceptable and effective against women who have done nothing wrong other than try to survive in a world that hates them, I’m willing to try it on men – cops, politicians, CEOs, and hell, regular guys! – to stop their actual crimes. We’ll see how much longer they continue raping and murdering and torturing and threatening if there are actual, serious consequences for their actions.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Except in this case, it would be justified and reasonable. And fuck it, I love social experiments.
[Part II: Public Humiliation in Action – High School Edition]
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Inadequately Comforting a Distressed Young Woman
I had a rather delightful day on Saturday. I mentioned in a previous post that I was invited to a little grass roots English club. Out of this encounter, I’ve acquired some new mentees. It’s a mixed sex group. I’m quite pleased to have young women present, and I’ve likely mentioned in at least one past post that as a survival mechanism, I de-sex the male students so that I can bear to be around them. In other words, I go out with a group of young women and young students (males). Any outings I have with groups such as these are generally pleasant. If it were unbearable, I wouldn’t do it. I go places I may not have been before, I learn about local culture and history, try new food and new restaurants, and if I’m very lucky, I can give the young women a chance to talk about anything they want. It is my frequent impression that they are not really allowed to voice their deepest concerns or fears. I exist outside their cultural paradigm, and I think that makes me less threatening in a sense.
On Saturday, a group of five students (two females and three students) and I arranged to visit two culturally important venues in our city. It was actually a heap of fun and ended with a glorious meal at a restaurant with Dongbei cuisine. But at one point, the two young women began talking about marriage, which immediately put me on edge. I frequently have to deal with incredulous reactions to being unmarried and child-free. I am on the receiving end of concern, surprise, disapproval, and very, very, very occasionally jealousy. Mostly, it is annoying. I’ve spent my life being told how abnormal I am, that there is something ‘wrong’ with me, and there is always this valuation/appraisal of my human status no matter what culture I live in. Only women deal with this. Even if a man is questioned on his status, which he frequently isn’t, there is no value judgment made of him. Marital and parenthood status does not affect men. With women, you can be denied employment because you are assumed to be defective or lacking an important human quality that magically affects your ability to do work.
But I’m pretty much used to the disdain and questioning. I used to try to justify myself. I don’t do that anymore. Sometimes, I’m downright honest about the whole mess that is female slavery. By the time I’m sixty, I’ll be right salty!
One thing that makes me very sad in places like China is that women have no choice whatsoever about their slavery. Western women have much more choice when it comes to their fates. I get why and how Western women buy into the heterosexuality mandate and why they still cave under the social pressure (which is real, but seldom a life or death situation) to sell their vaginas, uteri, and physical, emotional and psychological energy to men who may not even be the highest bidders. But at the same time, it is bizarre to me and fucks me off to no end. The threat of punishment keeps the majority of women cowering and doing their duty. Those of us who have disobeyed have suffered and will suffer in old age for these important defiances.We help our enslaved sisters when they inevitably suffer at the hands of their Nigels, but we don’t get help in return when we are alone, old, injured or unable to support ourselves. Sigh.
But while I feel fortunate in some ways (economically poor, but somewhat psychologically free) for not being forcefully enslaved, despite my lower status among women and the recipient of punishment no matter where I live, most women in the world really have no choice at all. In China, I’ve never met a single woman who has managed to escape forced marriage and forced motherhood. But I have met a handful of girls who say they don’t want that life for themselves. And I get strong impressions from each of them that they are lesbians or completely sexually naive or asexual. These women, I have great sympathy for. Non-compliance is a much more serious issue here.
On Saturday, one of the young women told me repeatedly in amazement and with some envy that I was so independent. She couldn’t believe my father didn’t push me into anything (I permanently left my mother’s control when I was 20, and the pressure hadn’t started from her at that point in my life). The young woman quietly told me that she didn’t want to get married at all. Interestingly and with insight and sadness, she told me that she wished she did want it. This young woman knows what is in store for her. She knows how difficult something can be when you are forced into doing something you don’t want to do. I’m not sure if she articulates the concept of rape to herself, but she definitely has dreams of freedom, independence and choice. She said she hopes she will change her mind when she gets older. Right now, she is about 19.
It hurts me to hear young women talk about this and that girls of this young age are worrying deeply about this issue. The male students, on the other hand, have nothing to worry about. Marriage was built for them. Marriage benefits men in many ways and it doesn’t negatively affect any aspect of their lives. I’ve never heard a young male talk about marriage or children in anything but a flippant, carefree, positive way, in fact.
The males in our group tried to find out what the conversation was about. I summed it up for them. Marriage was designed by men for men. And it is not good for women. They seemed shocked. Like I said above, they don’t think about this stuff. Life is easy for them. They are the oppressors. One of them concluded that each person is entitled to their own opinion. Sure. Opinions. But I know more about women’s history than they do, so I am coming from a place of facts and reality, as well as my experience as a member of the oppressed, as the basis of my very informed opinion.
These conversations with women are difficult because I can’t do anything concrete to help them. I want for them to have freedom from males and the freedom to do whatever they want with their lives. I’d like to see a worldwide system change away from Patriarchy and female enslavement. I want to see the institution of family and marriage demolished. I wish women to be economically independent so that they don’t need men at all and they can concentrate on healthy, lifelong female relationships. But I know there is nothing at all I can do for them except listen to them, let them know they are heard, and that I care about their experiences and stories.
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One of These Things Is Not Like the Others
Dismay…
There are so many reasons to hate capitalism, but at the top of the list is the requisite and abundant abuse of women. The abuse happens in several ways. One of them is through advertisements. As China has become more capitalist, the objectification of women has gotten worse. Woman-hate has always been there, as it is and has been in all cultures. It just manifests in different ways depending on politics, social system, economy, national history, etc. Capitalism, which is completely dependent on the abuse of women (and would collapse without it), offers men several new ways to hurt women. Using their images in abusive ways is just one.
As I’ve posted before (specifically here), China, like many places, sees white women as the ultimate whores. White female bodies are used to sell all sorts of products in China, but are especially useful for sex- and female-targeted (aren’t they the same? woman=sex) products.
The dismay felt today occurred when I walked past my local, 3-storey department and grocery store. A few times a year, they change the massive 2-storey-tall advertisements. And I noticed something. One of these ads is not like the others. Let’s see if you notice too. I present to you the current set of ads lining the outer walls of the largest shopping centre in my area.
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Did you catch it? Did you notice which one was different? In case you can’t figure it out, let me help. There are two fully clothed, white dudes. Yeah, their styles are kind of effeminate, but that is actually quite normal for straight men in China. Chinese women will probably find these dudes attractive, I think. Then there are two white boy-children. Fully clothed with the ‘too cool for school’ look on their faces. Chinese people will find them acceptable. Then we’ve got a Chinese adult male. Slick, respectably dressed. This dude will command respect. And to be honest, I’d actually wear that outfit. Then we’ve got a young Chinese woman. Fully clothed (hard to see, but there is a tan-coloured shirt under all the red outerwear). She’s young and a cool up-and-comer. Timid, but part of China’s future.
And then we’ve got the White Whore. Dressed in clothes that are the very symbol of female slavery, humiliation, degradation, and inhumanity. Dressed in next to nothing in a culture where uncovered women are only seen as garbage to be used by men. This is part of the dual message that comes through in the advertising. “This is Woman – specifically White Woman – and she should be used, but not respected.”
All over the world, including China, white women are the object of choice for advertising lingerie, wedding rings, condoms, and other woman-as-sex-object items. I face these images of what are essentially representations of ME every single day, and it always occurs to me how much these images and their evil messages are internalized by everyone around me. We know these marketing devices work, otherwise we wouldn’t have advertisements at all. People have degrees in this shit from business schools. Marketing sends messages. So when I encounter people after they are daily bombarded with the ‘white woman as whore and nothing else’ message, how am I supposed to garner respect? How am I supposed to be seen as human? All they see when they look at me and other white women is some sex-crazed, fuckable property of white men. It scares the shit out of me, and I fucking hate it.
This is the intertwined racism and misogyny of China.
[This post is part of the White Girl series.]
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Chinese Male Privilege or ‘You Will Bear My Son, Or Else…’
Because it doesn’t happen a lot, every time I make a new female friend who doesn’t immediately turn out to be a complete raging misogynist, I cheer inside. And often out loud, too. With a happy dance. Female friendship should be cheered. And cherished. Unfortunately, the opposite is true in most corners of the world. Women are trained from birth not to invest in other women. That would undermine patriarchy and threaten their relationships with men.
On the whole, it is really hard to connect with Chinese women. First, I am ‘other’, so engaging with me is seldom something they pursue. They (the women) do violent things me and say mean things to me, oh yes they do. The women are often more aggressive to me than the men, and friendly engagement is rare. This is borne of the divisiveness created by patriarchy that keeps women from bonding. And as I don’t comply with femininity, I am further ‘othered’. With the really young Chinese women, they are usually wrapped up in shopping and beauty products and obsessing about boys and double eyelid surgery (all of which repulses the hell out of me) – and occasionally with studying really, really hard (which I fully support). And come mid-20’s, almost all women are sucked into mandatory nuclear family life. All women, including lesbians, are forced into the drudgery and humiliation of finding a husband, popping out a kid or two, and then enthusiastically embracing the lifetime of slavery that goes with that. It’s not unique to China. All cultures either force or coerce women into the family track through some means. I oppose the family structure because it is designed specifically to isolate and disempower women and to place female friendship and support and the possibility of professional networking at the very bottom of their priority list. It doesn’t work that way for men – quite the opposite actually. Family is a disastrous (male) invention that makes men’s lives easy and destroys the lives of women. But I’ve managed to cultivate a few friendships with Chinese women despite all this. They probably have greater meaning for me than for them, however, given my existence outside the family system and my wish to connect meaningfully with women.
One new friendship is with a lecturer at my university. We crossed paths as we use the same classroom – my class is immediately before hers. She did her Masters degree in Canada, so she has no hesitation about speaking with foreign people, unlike most Chinese who can’t even be bothered to say ‘ni hao’ to me or return my smile (which I gave up on a few years ago). And we have other things in common. We both have backgrounds in statistics and methodology and in addition to our scientific creds, also have degrees in the realm of management.
We got together for lunch yesterday, and even though my new friend told me right off the bat that she is a ‘traditional person’, I really didn’t feel that was entirely true. First off, she has a PhD (more education than her husband) and is currently looking for international opportunities to further her career. That doesn’t sound so traditional to me. Yes, she has several standard heterosexual views that almost all woman hold due to social conditioning, but I find her rather open-minded and reasonably rational for a woman from a very rigid culture in the clutches of dictatorship. I think her international experience really helped broaden her perspective (e.g., she had a gay masters advisor in Canada). And it was really easy to have a discussion on issues while holding sometimes differing views. Honestly, it was the most open face-to-face conversation I’ve had in… years?
I learned a lot of fascinating things during our lunch, but there is one thing I want to talk about in this post. The whole male child obsession.
There is new propaganda out in China about ‘girl children are important, toooooo’. It’s mostly bullshit, but the government is panicking about the backfiring of their population control policy and the disastrous effects it has had years later. And the panicking isn’t due to regrets or fighting misogyny. It is still all focused on male privilege. Let’s spell out what happened clearly.
- China’s population was exploding due to female slavery.
- The government decided to control the explosion by limiting families to one child (with exceptions).
- Like anyone but an idiot might expect, a culture built on woman-hate automatically gravitated towards that single child being a boy.
- Illegal sex determination testing was carried out by all people who could pay for it and many female fetuses were aborted. If people couldn’t afford the testing, they often abandoned or killed female newborns once the nasty surprise was born.
- A few short decades later, and the country is missing 40 million females.
- And note that the crisis is not that females have been killed, but that there now isn’t enough cunt to allocate to all of the males who were allowed to live.
- Boys must have access to pussy! What are we to do!!!!???? Oh no!!!!!
Now, it would be great to shit all over China for the horrors done to girls. But you know what? If you implement this population control policy anywhere in the world, the exact same thing would happen. There is no country in the world where boys aren’t worshipped and girls hated. When push comes to shove, given the choice between breeding a future rape victim or a future rapist, 99.9% of people would choose the rapist. Some of them might delude themselves into thinking they can produce a ‘good one’, but the fact of the matter is that there is no such thing as a good one. There are just entitled ones who ALL benefit from the threat all women live under. A male doesn’t have to rape to benefit from rape. Men (and most women) don’t get this. At all.
Despite being ‘traditional’, my new friend and I got into a good discussion of marriage and male privilege and the whole mandatory breeding thing in China. Women cannot escape from marriage and breeding. It is unthinkable and undoable. Even ‘out’ lesbians, the few that there are, are hounded by the government (in addition to friends and family) to submit and do their duty. Your twat and portable incubator belong to us and all the men in the country!!! And regardless of the deceptive ‘pro-female baby’ campaign, even educated people are still lusting after sons. We discussed a few examples from my friend’s life that made for some depressing food for thought.
In particular, she mentioned one of her closest Chinese friends. Someone she described as at the top of her career, accomplished, smart, talented – a great woman. But of course, she is married. She is also 43 and is now pregnant. This hit me very personally – I am 43 and can’t imagine wanting to be pregnant at this age. Anyhow, this woman had a daughter years before, but her husband is desperate for real human progeny – I mean, a son. So he badgered her. And the threat is that if this intelligent, accomplished woman doesn’t bear this asshole a son, he will leave her. [Me? I say ‘good riddance’. There is no reason for an economically independent woman to stay with a rapist-abuser.] And she relented. Being 43, she has been forced by Husband-Dickface into putting herself at great risk of death and endless physical and psychological complications, disfigurement, and/or permanent injury. Less important, but still worth considering, she is at high risk of having a child with any of a number of problems – which, as the mother, she will be solely responsible for taking care of. But Cock must be satisfied. He has absolutely nothing to lose in this narcissistic frivolity. The bitch must put out, or she will be tossed aside like garbage. I am positive that Cock will pay the money for an illegal sex determination test, and any defects (aka ‘femaleness’) detected will be aborted toot sweet.
My lunch companion then entered into the standard het-female spiel about her special Nigel (I need a Chinese equivalent for a special snowflake, can-do-no-wrong male partner – I may use the the popular name, Ming – 明 – ‘not my Ming’). She said that her husband wants another child, but she is 38, and she said she didn’t want to have another because she is getting too old, and um, she is an accomplished woman moving up in her career. He has given in. So of course, he is the Best Husband on Earth™. But I asked her, do you have a son or daughter? Wait for it… She has a son! Ding ding ding!!! If she had a daughter, her super special Nigel/Ming probably wouldn’t have let her get off so easily.
But she chooses to see his giving in as some superior quality, rather than only relenting because he already has what he wants – a son. And this kind of rationalizing preserves the hetero marriage paradigm, not just in this case but all over the world. Women need to find examples, even the tiniest shred, of positive male behaviour in order to justify their slavery. And cookies (in the West) and dumplings (in the East) are prepared and showered upon husbands and boyfriends for not hurting them. That day. That moment. This is the trap all heterosexual women fall into and it is what will keep het relationships (and male privilege, including forcing women to produce sons) safe until the end of time. Turning the whole ‘he could do x, y, z to me, but he chooses not to’ into ‘he’s a perfect male specimen’ is a defense mechanism. Is that not creepy or scary to you? The implication always is with men that they are choosing not to do something to you AT THAT MOMENT, but it could change at any time. The threat of what could be done with impunity is what keeps all women in line.
But I get it. I don’t like it, and personally, I made my life infinitely more difficult by NOT supporting heteronormative slavery through not getting married and breeding. But not all women have the fight in them needed to resist, or in the case of rigid cultures like China, the mindset to rebel. But, separate from my personal life choices, I like this woman just as I like all my enslaved female friends. We don’t have to agree on how to survive in this world.
So, I ended that conversation with an emphasis on the importance of female friendships and support. That might be a topic for another post as I gained some insight into debunking a stereotype that Western women have of non-Western women (specifically the myth that the latter have stronger female bonds because they are family- and group-think-oriented).
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Not a Feminist Ally If…
Feminism. The poor term has been battered time and again, and it is still standing. It started off as a less powerful replacement for the clear and proud Women’s Liberation Movement. It has, more than once, fallen out of favour and acquired an unsavoury taste. It seems to have gained in popularity more recently, but perhaps not in a good way. Everyone and their dog seems to be either calling themselves a ‘feminist’ or saying “I’m not a feminist, but…” or pairing the word with choice hate speech against women. I truly think no one really knows what it means anymore and frequently doesn’t resemble anything that was practised by the warrior feminists of yore.
Perhaps the most disturbing resurgence has been among male-identified women and worse, men – straight men, gay men, and men in dresses (trans). This latest trend has rendered the label either practically meaningless or inseparable from Cock Supremacy. Yes, in the mainstream, feminism has become the quest for men to retain their privileges with enthusiastic yessing from liberated women. And the few who live by true feminist principles (radical feminists, especially lesbians) have become the absolute bottom of the human heap. Evil personified.
If you – especially if you’re a man – are strutting around calling yourself a ‘feminist’, then consider the following statements below. Some of these are more obvious than others. Some are complete ‘no-brainers’. But their inclusion is necessary because you wouldn’t believe how many men feel they have a right to weigh in on and be included in every single thing women do – especially when these things concern women alone. And there are plenty of women who put men first in feminism. Chances are, most men who read this list will not be able to see themselves and their behaviour within. This is standard narcissism observable in most men, partially resulting from biological tendencies and partially from socialization as oppressors. Willful disconnect from women’s reality, a free pass to attack women (often victims, the ignorant, and frequently radfems) under the guise of ‘activist feminism’ and perhaps a desperate, immature need to score activist/liberal points (and lays) from self-appointed, unashamed, feminist *sluts*, are the main motivators for adherence to the latest and most liberal feminist current. Personally, I don’t believe in such a creature as the ‘male feminist’. With skepticism based on years of experience, I might allow the title: ‘feminist ally’, which I’ll use below, but I attach parameters/conditions to this very special status. Look for yourself in the list. I might have to turn this whole thing into a Super Fun Quiz™ at some point. But for now, it’s just a list, and as it’s just off the top of my head, I’m sure I’m missing crucial things.
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If your support of women’s status as humans depends solely upon my ‘attitude’ (how I respond to you, my willingness to tolerate you, and how nice and accommodating I am to you), then you are not a feminist ally.
If you think someone a) stating a fact you don’t like, b) disagreeing with you, or c) looking at you in a way you don’t like is worse than being raped, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are using derogatory words (cis, fish, TERF, etc) or well-worn slurs (b****, c***, w****, s***, etc.) to refer to women, you are not a feminist ally.
If I say ‘no’ to you and you don’t let it go then and there, you are not a feminist ally.
If you spend more time vocalizing (even if you manage not to mansplain) on feminist blogs and in women’s spaces than you do raising righteous hell among men, you are not a feminist ally.
If your support of women’s status does not include criminalizing, with the aim to abolish, the demand for pornography and prostitution, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are still having penile-penetrative sex with women, you are not a feminist ally.
If you think sex (especially intercourse) is a fundamental human right, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are not standing up against trans people’s hate speech and hate crimes against women, and instead support their takeover and further subordination of ACTUAL women, you are not a feminist ally.
If you can’t understand what the big deal is about protecting women-only spaces, you are not a feminist ally.
If you find your feminist voice in loudly holding women responsible for racism (and other isms), you are not a feminist ally.
If you get offended or pissy or outright angry if a woman reacts to your presence or words with fear/aversion, you are not a feminist ally.
If you think feminism has at its core anything other than the liberation of women from the oppression of men, you are not a feminist ally.
If you respond to women’s free speech with death or rape threats or slurs, you are not a feminist ally.
If you see no problem with a born male (regardless of how he ‘identifies’ now) leading feminist organizations, lesbian groups, or women’s studies classes/departments, you are not a feminist ally.
If you believe the presence of a single male (let alone several males) has no effect on the dynamics of a group of women, you are not a feminist ally.
If you put your identity and feelings above the safety of the entire class of people called women, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are quick to blame women for what men have done to you personally, you are not a feminist ally.
If you cherry-pick ‘scientific’ studies to confirm your point-of-view instead of looking objectively for legitimately acquired facts that run the risk of proving you wrong, you are not a feminist ally.
If you are under the delusion that trans or blacks or any other racial or religious group are more ‘oppressed’ than women, you are not a feminist ally.
If you can’t understand the difference between sex and gender, you are not a feminist ally.
If you can’t see the male trans performance of femininity as being as offensive and horrific as a blackface minstrel show, you are not a feminist ally.
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Call me harsh, but seriously, women have been both strong-armed and shamed / manipulated into making concessions to men without getting anything but grief through the erosion of rights and voice in return. None of the above items concerning basic female rights and freedoms hurts men in any way. Removal of privilege does not equal harm or oppression.
This is part of the Wolves in Women’s Clothing series.
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The Semester Starts with Racism and Misogyny – Mmmm Good
I have a very strange internet friend whom I’ve ‘known’ for a long time from years ago – back when I was a serious researcher doing serious research and not frittering my life and spirit away in China. We collaborated on a short project online, but we have never met in person. At this point, this acquaintance’s role has morphed into one of sending me occasional stories of ‘how fucked up China is’. News of the weird. Of human rightsy weirdness. Bizarre deaths resulting from Chinese neglect. That kind of thing.
The thing is, I KNOW ALREADY. I live here. I experience bad and weird things here all the time. I don’t bother to comb through alt-media sites or even mainstream Western media for Chinese fuckery because the day-to-day stuff that I see in situ is bad enough.
When you come from a country where there are *sometimes* consequences for abusing power – or at least the pretense of consequences – or at least mechanisms and bodies set up to deal with power abuses – it is hard to imagine it working otherwise in other places. So Westerners can’t understand that if they go to China, if anything untoward ever happens to them, there will be nothing whatsoever that can be done. Unless you have managed to get very well connected with powerful people, that is. And the majority of Western people – or any foreign worker, for that matter – are extremely vulnerable to abuse because they aren’t connected. Newbie Western workers will often try to fight what has happened to them with logic or human-rightsy arguments that usually start with: “This would never happen in MY country.” And they might be right. Maybe. It might happen, and you might be lucky to have a way to fight it. There is definitely more of a chance of fighting it in the West. But in China, you learn very quickly that anyone can do anything to you at any time. And you are not allowed to say anything about it. Even contract agreements between you and the Chinese only apply to you. If you don’t live up to the contract they can do what they want to you. But as a Chinese, they can break the contract every single day. You can complain if you want. And they will ignore you. And they might fire you because you don’t take abuse well. Their firing techniques are almost always passive-aggressive, subtle manipulation. It is actually the exact mentality behind Western men complaining about Western women. The whole “I love Asian women” phenomenon. Western women believe they have rights as humans. Most men don’t like that, and some will go East to find the perfect docile slave.
Many of the younger Westerners who come here are ‘liberal’, so they don’t usually complain, and may often make excuses for the Chinese (aka ‘apologism’), because they hold the Western mentality that the Chinese are oppressed – which isn’t actually true anymore in the West, nevermind the East. It’s the older white (and usually incompetent) male who comes here for a pussy and booze free-for-all who gets very angry and loud when he isn’t treated like a member of the dominant race. And both groups are delusional, by the way.
The Chinese are the dominant and the majority race. And China is very patriarchal. And it is still a system that is run as a dictatorship. And with that combination, you get very serious racism, very serious misogyny, and no concept of human rights whatsoever. There is no such thing as a race-motivated crime. There is no such thing as a crime against women. And there is no such thing as workers’ rights or human rights abuse of any sort.
It is hard for many Western people to wrap their minds around that non-Western reality.
I once read a disturbing, but amusing (because I could understand it on a personal level) little essay written by a long-time foreign resident in China about the stages foreigners go through when first living in China. It was written by a man, and thus didn’t take into account that China is much easier for men to deal with for a number of reasons. But I still recognized some of the elements in it. The whole essay reminded me of the grieving process one goes through when dealing with a death – starting with anger, moving through depression, and eventually resolving with acceptance of reality. It was troubling to realize that living in China was so similar to dealing with a serious loss such as a major death, but it is actually very much like that if you stay long enough. Living in China really does mean giving up your personhood or identity. It is a death of sorts. Whether you can be reborn or whether you remain living as the undead, is another thing entirely and is dependent upon either having your mind and spirit broken completely and thus becoming open to brainwashing or being able to escape most of the mundane Chinese abuse through obtaining an elitist kind of job with super-high pay.
I’ve thought about this a lot. Many sociologists and cross-cultural researchers paint this simplistic black-and-white picture of individualistic cultures and group-based cultures. And of course, the former are painted as evil and latter are somehow superior. But I think this conclusion, and the whole type-of-society dichotomy are not quite right. I actually find the Chinese to be much more individualistic and self-centred and heartless in some ways that I have not been able to explain (until recently) using the group-think or collectivist society model. Likewise, that model hasn’t explained the countless examples of supposedly average, individualistic, selfish Americans and other Westerners relentlessly donating their time and money to humanitarian efforts or to helping random people on the street. You may not see this if your knowledge of China has come solely from movies and the news, but given how much time I’ve spent in non-Western countries, I’ll tell you how jarred I am by how much positive and pro-social interaction there is between strangers in the West. Every time I return, I get freaked out. Strangers helping strangers. Hell, strangers talking to strangers. You never, ever, never, ever see this in China. Ever. Ever. People don’t even say ‘thank you’ here. But that is a post for another time [update: here it is, 7 years later 😉 I is for Individualism. I have developed my own theory as to this individualism vs group-based society phenomenon.
My point is that to survive in China, you can’t see yourself as a person in the Western sense. And most people are not able to see themselves as a person in the Chinese sense. It’s not a great way to live. Undead.
I haven’t written in a while simply because my first two weeks back at work have been a racist, misogynist fuck-fest. There has been plenty of Chinese bullshit and some Western male bullshit, too.
The first day of class involved university officials and photographers stopping by my class to photograph me while teaching. I’m never allowed to say ‘no’ to anything they do to me, and in this case, they will use my image for their greedy capitalistic and political purposes. (See! We have foreign staff! Come to our university!!! Pay our tuition!!!) Like a porn contract, you sign on the dotted line, and that means they can do whatever they want to you after that (don’t worry, I’m not equating teaching with porn… I’m telling you that the Chinese mentality is the porn producer’s mentality).
I spent the week correcting the grammar of misogynist sentences produced by my male students, which was fucking awesome and not a mindfuck at all!
And the second week saw a quiet, moneyless payday – and an announcement from the university that they had no intention of paying us this month for last month. They announced to us that the pay schedule will change (again). Now, they are going to start paying us TWO WHOLE MONTHS after the start of each pay period. We get paid monthly, the pay date has been pushed further and further away from the pay period each year that I have been with this university. And now, work that I do on March 1st won’t be paid until April 30th. What??? I am not allowed to protest this. They have implemented worse abuses in past years – like breaking my contract and quadrupling my work load for no extra pay. The foreign staff has protested individually, but as Chinese, they give excuses and end up doing what they want to us. This new payment policy actually feels very much like one of the passive-aggressive Chinese punishments. They may be looking to clear out foreign staff by implementing abusive policy, so they can bring in new, naive people whom they can pay less.
Every night at 11:00 pm, staff were chained into their building. Apparently, it was ‘too dangerous’. For whom…?
This happens all the time. I’m used to it. There is nothing ‘fair’ about the Chinese. It may surprise you to know that this is the best place I’ve ever worked in all the years I’ve been in China. At least these employers don’t chain the staff into our residential building every night like my last employer did. Nobody could get in or out except the key master. The Chinese didn’t understand why the Western staff had a problem with that. A simple, humane solution to the ‘grave danger’ looming over our building would be to install a key card or coded key pad entry system. But that would cost the Chinese money. The Chinese don’t like to spend money.
But the worst of these first two weeks back was actually dealing with a horrible, British, male acquaintance/co-worker and his disgusting misogyny last Saturday. I’m still reeling from it. Unfortunately, I need to stay ‘friendly’ with this asshole, as one really needs allies when you’re working for the Chinese. The Chinese deliberately try to keep Western people in the dark and misinformed and isolated on several levels so that we remain powerless and disorganized. Because foreign workers are ALWAYS abused, it is really key to have as many allies as possible – even if they are assholes. Information needs to be shared since it is so hard to come by, and sometimes protests must be done as a group or at least in numbers. But the cost of being friendly with jerks can be really hard, and the deeper I get into feminism, the harder it is to deal with men who don’t see me as a full human.
I’m going to write about this asshole. It’s one of those things that ended up being successful in my mind even though it didn’t and doesn’t necessarily feel like it. I’m glad I did what I did, but my body and mind are paying for it. More soon…
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Sex Matters: Here’s How You Know No Woman is ‘Privileged’
It gets worse and worse. Nowhere on earth, never in history, and regardless of economic or educational status has a woman been able to speak up about being subordinated without serious repercussions for her. On the rare occasion that a woman has a) believed it’s worth it to speak up, b) been allowed to speak her truth, c) been believed, and d) seen justice done to acknowledge her human status and basic human rights – you are witnessing something of a miracle. An actual miracle, not a bullshit ‘Madonna on toast’ type of miracle.
Every single one of you of the XX variety has experienced this at least once, even if you can’t bring yourself to admit that yes, for fuck’s sake, you have been victimized because of your sex. ‘Victim’ is not a dirty word. It is a temporary status that describes having had your freedom (even if you have very little) taken from you in some way.
Each and every one of you has felt unsure that:
- something is happening to you because you are female,
- something is happening to you because you are female in addition to being white/black/aboriginal/etc, lesbian, old, attractive/unattractive, fat/thin, etc.,
- your intuition that something bad is happening to you is spot on,
- you don’t deserve what is happening to you,
- you have the right not to have your personal space and, yes, your body, invaded,
- you are allowed to verbally question a perceived wrong,
- you are allowed to physically defend yourself against violence towards you, and
- you are allowed to say NO to a man of a visible minority group who is trying to hurt or abuse you in some way or even kill you.
Here are some recent (increasingly common) scenarios where women have something taken away, hesitate, and then talk themselves out of demanding that it stop and that they have their human rights/status upheld.
Women victimized by men pretending to be women
A man looking distinctly like a man or man visibly pretending to be a woman and dolled up in ‘lady-face’ enters a women’s bathroom or change room and proceeds to act like he owns the joint, doing his business, taking his clothes off and possibly even watching or staring at you or other women/girls. You hesitate to interject because you are afraid of his backlash or backlash by society for being a fucking bitch and denying a possibly ‘oppressed’ person his freedom. Meanwhile, you have had your freedom to feel safe in a women-only space taken from you. You can’t see that you deserve to be human, and that feeling safe, which is something you may never have felt in the way men feel safe, is your right. Men’s special, inside-feelings of pervy-sexy-womany goodness, and mental illness of the dysphoric variety are much more important than women’s safety.
Women victimized by *oppressed* men of colour
You are a white woman and a man of colour comes up to you and begins to harass you. It starts as a verbal altercation, but upon the slightest opposition to his attention, escalates quickly. He enters your personal space and rains verbal, sexual, and/or physical violence upon you. You don’t feel you are allowed to defend yourself because you will be labelled a ‘racist’ even though he has targeted you because you are a woman and because you are white and he knows he will get away with anything he chooses to do to you. He yells ‘racism!!!’ if you choose to report him or defend yourself. And you end up terrorized and/or raped and/or beaten, and if he leaves you alive, believing that a) you deserved it because you’re white, and b) you are not allowed to say anything because you are ‘privileged’. Women are not privileged over men. Zero debate about that. And in my educated opinion, there is much evidence to support the theory that misogyny cancels out the possibility of racism given that racism is a male invention based on woman-hate. If you can’t see that, you need to go back and read some world history. History is the story of what men have crapped upon the world, at the expense of women. And take a look at the endless violence against women today and you’ll see that a woman cannot hurt a man in any way regardless of the races involved. Walking While White and a Woman (WWWW) in no way justifies what men of colour do. And they shouldn’t get away with it.
Atheist women victimized by religious men
You are an atheist and a feminist, and you are worried about the increasing number of religious fundamentalists dictating policy on the local, institutional, and national levels in your country. Your gym (in Canada) has been forced to frost all of its windows so that pervy Hasidic Jewish boys who can’t stop looking in the gym’s windows won’t have to look at all the filthy whores working out without full length dresses covering their filthy whore bodies (true story). You are not allowed to oppose this. Your university class project schedule (in Canada) has been extremely inconveniently altered to accommodate the Muslims in the class because the men won’t work with filthy whore white women, and the Muslim women can’t work with any men (true story). You are not allowed to oppose this because Muslim values (de-values) are crucial to introduce into Canadian policy on filthy whores local women. Teen-aged girls attending a high school dance (in the US) are sent home due to wearing filthy, whorish mini-skirts, because the fundamentalist (white and black) Christian fathers of attending students who signed on to chaperone the dance are popping boners and finding themselves with uncontrollable urges to rape the filthy whore cock-teases (true story). No one is allowed to oppose this. Religious ‘freedom’ and male control over female bodies is most important.
In short, while women have never had full human status, current political agendas, which have slipped in under the guise of ‘inclusivity’ and ‘sensitivity’, are making things scarily worse for everyone. This applies to women of all races, who are being held hostage by male terrorists of all races. And the most effective part of this new political agenda has been to silence the most vocal of women (usually real feminists, and most often white feminists – those who have done the most to help ALL women) by calling them privileged, entitled, phobic, and a whole host of other nonsense and slurs.
Women are getting on board with fighting the trans agenda, but what scares me most is the free pass that men of colour and religious men are getting. Women are not getting on board with fighting that. These *oppressed* men have figured out that claiming oppression is a free pass to threaten, attack, beat, rape, and murder women who don’t belong to their group. Feminists are speaking out about the lie that is ‘transphobia’, which is a very good thing, but are still very scared to defend themselves against men’s strategic accusations of racism, Islamophobia, and other isms and phobias designed to shut women up and give men power. When you force a woman to shut up about what has been done to her, you send the message that her sex, which has been and still is at the root of the longest-running and most accepted oppression in the history of the world, does not matter.
And sex matters.
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Shrill, Bitter, Humourless, Prudish Man-Hater
Not super-original, but I’m in a foul mood, and I feel like lightening things up a little. And nothing lightens the mood more than taking a look at the ‘insults’ that men hurl at women.
When a woman, especially, a feminist is called any of the following – shrill, bitter, humourless, prudish, or a man-hater – I really have to laugh. I don’t consider these insults, perhaps because I have a lot of interest in what words mean. Other than the last one – man-hater – all of the terms have broad application. They weren’t designed to hurt women, specifically. The insults that really bother me are those with very specific, woman-harm in mind. I’m talking b****, c***, s***, w****, etc. Those terms, which are becoming much more common, normalized, and publicly used in entertainment accessible to impressionable children, hurt women. They hurt women in the same way that the n-word hurts blacks. But racism is taken seriously these days – you won’t hear the n-word used as a slur in the past few decades of television or film unless you’re looking at a character who is specifically a race-supremacist or within an historical context. Woman-hate or misogyny, on the other hand, is becoming mainstream and embraced. Misogyny has always existed, but it is no longer buried under innuendo in the public arena, and this is reflected in the language. Slurs against women are hurled at females (or as a grave insult to men) in entertainment as comedy and or as hate by male and female characters alike, by all racial groups, and by characters of all ages. I was watching an American show the other day where an older black man forced his way into a white, teen-aged girl’s house, called her a ‘bitch’ with hate behind the word, and when she tried to stop him, he yelled out to the street, “Racism!!! This white girl is oppressing a old, black man!!!” Yeah. That’s where our world is going. Slurs against women are fine and dandy, and men of colour are often leading the pack as some of the most protected perpetrators. ‘Art’ reflects life which, in turn, is informed by ‘art’.
Now here’s the problem. The slurs that are really bothering women, especially feminists, these days, are not the ones I just talked about. Hell, call a lib-fem a ‘slut’, and she’ll take her top off and shake those titties at you with pouty lips and a defiant “yeah, I’m a slut, so what?’ look. No, what really gets women a-scampering these days is being called a prude or a man-hater. And even radical feminists will bend over backwards to demonstrate exactly how they couldn’t possibly hate men or want to stop men from putting their dicks into people.
Let’s break these suckers down, why don’t we?
Shrill
Shrill refers to a sound that is high-pitched or piercing. It is used by men to refer to their dislike of women’s speech. They even use the term to refer to women’s writing, so we know it may only partially refer to the actual sound. The content plays a major role, too. You see, strangely, the voices are more piercing or ‘shrill’ when women are trying to fight for their basic human rights. Personally, I’ve encountered very few women’s voices that you could categorize as ‘shrill’. Occasionally, I’ll run into one that is hard to listen to because it is high-pitched. But on the whole, for me, voices that are annoying or difficult to pay attention to are that way for more complicated reasons. No two are exactly alike. It can include geographically-based accent, pitch, timbre, loudness, and/or whether someone whines or slurs. And a bad laugh can make things worse. I find men’s voices equally or even harder to endure than women’s mostly, but not only, because they are so loud and the content is so boring. I remember years ago, participating in a weekly trivia group thing in grad school, and there was always this one dude sitting across the room who would drive my ears fucking crazy – like poison-ivy-itching crazy – with his freakish, weird, loud voice and laugh. If I’d had a steak knife with me… Anyhow, shrill is more about men not liking to hear about human rights for women than any objective qualities of women’s voices.
Bitter
I’m not sure if I’ve ever met a bitter feminist. I’ve met a lot of bitter men, that’s for sure. And I’ve also met a few women who are IN relationships with men and who defend the penis who are actually bitter. What does bitter actually mean? It refers to someone who is “angry, hurt, or resentful because of one’s bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment”. The bold is mine because it is the important part of this definition. Having a sense of being treated unfairly doesn’t necessarily mean you are actually being treated unfairly, and this is why ‘bitter’ doesn’t apply to feminists. Women ARE treated unfairly. Regularly. All over the world. For thousands of years. Women SHOULD be angry and hurt and resentful. Men, who often have hurt feelings and anger because they may not get what they feel they are entitled to (i.e., free access to as many women’s bodies and free labour and attention as possible), are bitter. They think life is unfair for them. But it is decidedly not. Bitter. Bitter men.
Humourless
Of course men are funny. To call women humourless is the funniest thing EVER. But seriously, men’s humour, which mostly relies upon slamming the oppressed (women) through rape jokes, cheap ho jokes, female biology jokes, or through boring, repetitive jokes about farts, poop, masturbating, etc., is not funny. Men are humourless. Women are funny. They really are. Now, we’d have a better sense of this if men didn’t control the entertainment industry. As it is, to become a female comedian, you have to be fuckably hawt first. Being hawt is unrelated to comedic talent, so we miss out on probably 98-99% of the funny women out there. Funny women who are not hawt are barred from speaking, performing, acting. I have my personal (growing) list of female comedians whom I like to watch and laugh with, two of my faves being Tig Notaro and Janeane Garofolo. If you like funny of the visual sort, I highly recommend Phemisaurus, who caters to women of the ‘man-hater’ persuasion. She makes me laugh and laugh. But there are many funny women out there. Many. Google. Look, watch, listen. And laugh. They are women and they are talented. And somehow, they don’t need rape, whores, shit, farts, or penises in the mix to do it.
Prudish
Oh, this one makes me tired. Countless rad-fems have spent time doing justice to the ‘we’re not prudes, we just think PIV (penis-in-vagina; aka ‘dude-sex’) is harmful’ argument. So I’m not going to go through the whole thing here. Femonade is a great resource for this, and FCM does it better than I ever could. There is a massive difference between hammering home (yes, I know the imagery I’ve created) the point that penises are the source of most, if not all, of women’s problems, and doing the religious, woman-hating, anti-sex, guilt-hate-shame parade. Feminists aren’t anti-sexuality. They wish for women to be free from men’s sexuality so that they can finally figure out what theirs is about. As it is, men define all sexuality, and it is all about serving men and harming women. Period. There is nothing prudish about wanting women to be free to be or not to be sexual beings on their own terms.
Man-Hater
Perhaps my favourite insult? Maybe. I also like the word misandrist, but most men can’t pronounce it and so don’t use it. Plus ‘man-hater’ is catchy – like a venereal disease! All I know is when men call women ‘man-haters’, it makes me laugh and laugh. Men are so fucking insecure. It is an unassailable truth that men hate women. We’ve got that down, right? And since they can only envision hate, it is impossible for women to exist in a state where they don’t hate men. Or perhaps it is this. Men know that if women treated them the way that men have always treated women, hate would be the inevitable and rational effect. Simply put: “We men treat you women like you are maggots on shit. How can you not hate us?” And craftily, men will use this assumed hate to justify more shitty treatment, anger, ranting, violence, etc. And really, whether we hate them or not is actually irrelevant. All men need is the belief.
But so what if a woman or group of women or all women do hate men? It is justified, reactive, defensive hate. And when we hate, we don’t follow it up with violence. In fact, most women will feel the hate burn, and then find excuses for men, allowing them to continue trying to destroy us. Men, on the other hand, have aggressive, unjustified hate for women that is the fuel for all the violence they do to us. We have done nothing wrong – except exist – they hate us and try to destroy us. And then they blame us if we speak up to defend ourselves.
So ‘man-hater’? Give me a break. Take a look in the mirror, assholes. Read the papers. Take a look at the women around you in a human, non-pervy way. You are more likely to see fear in women’s eyes than hate.
Conclusion
To women and feminists, especially, stop defending yourselves against male accusations in the form of ‘slurs’. It is a waste of gynergy. If you really must fight something, then fight the real slurs – the b- c- w- and s-words. The slurs that actually hurt us and are designed to do so.
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Black American Men and the Air Crash Effect
Let’s talk about fantasy and reality, sensationalism and mundane facts, penis-loving and woman-hating.
The media loves a good story. The more gore and horror a story has, the more play it will get in the public eye. And the more attention it will receive. And the more distorted the facts surrounding the story will become. There will be a kernel of truth, and then the rest will be blown out of proportion and lead to the masses and very often the supposedly educated hordes going on an illogical rampage in a blood-thirsty, scapegoating frenzy, and society at large will adopt illogical, fear-based, hate-satisfying behaviour.
A good example of this phenomenon is perceptions of safety concerning air and auto-vehicular travel.
Many people are terrified of flying because they believe flying is more dangerous than driving or riding as a passenger in a motor vehicle. But if you look at actual data compiled by government or insurance organizations on number of accidents, number of accidents per miles travelled, the number of fatalities per million miles travelled, and odds of dying in a lifetime, you get a different story. No matter how you slice it, car travel is considerably more dangerous and the odds of dying in a plane crash (if you actually travel by plane – even a lot) are much, much lower.
But air crashes, on the rare occasion that they occur, are catastrophic and deliciously interesting. Being both rare and devastating, they end up getting a lot of play in the media. Car crashes, on the other hand are frequent, even deadly ones, so they don’t get worldwide (or even nation-wide) play. Let’s just say, if you want your name to live on after your death because you haven’t made it big by showing your tits in public (if you’re a woman) or perpetrating a school or workplace shooting (if you’re a male), your best bet is to fly and make sure your plane goes down. It works for Muslim extremists, so why not you? [Yeah, I said it. It’s true, so get a grip.]
Let’s call this ‘the air crash effect’: rare, extreme events get a) a lot of public attention, and b) lead to irrational conclusions. Air crash gets attention and people develop unjustified fear of flying.
Race and Sex: An Eye-Opening Comparison and the Stark Reality
Let’s apply this phenomenon to social problems. I’ll use a current, massive problem that has hit the radar in the US recently, but is having ripple effects in other countries. It is the old racism vs misogyny war.
Women are constantly silenced by liberal men (and women) when they attempt to talk about violence against women. This happens across history and in all countries. But we’re going to talk about the current American climate right now. The most common current argument is that cops are shooting black people right left and centre and that trumps the petty, indulgent, narcissistic claims of American women whose few rights are being fast eroded. So noticeable in fact that the UN has uncovered and given legitimacy to the claims of the deplorable state of women’s rights in what is supposed to be a country at the forefront of human rights. Women in the US are suffering and no one gives a shit or believes those few brave women who are speaking out, in other words.
At some point in the American collective subconscious, it was decided that women, who hurt more than any other group both in the US and on the planet, had to take a back seat to men of colour (many of whom abuse women, themselves). And the issue of the day is violence experienced by men of colour (specifically black men), and in particular, the killings of black men by police officers.
Now, before I dig in here, I want to be clear. I don’t use data reported by MRAs or right-wing or ‘concerned white male’ groups (aka: white supremacists). First, I don’t trust anything any and all men say about violence, regardless of colour. Second, I can’t stand MRA’s or any kind of racial supremacists or purists. Too much agenda, too much testosterone, and thus, lies, lies, lies – and even worse, the woman-hate. You never get racism without deep, frightening woman-hate. I don’t personally give a shit about which race ‘wins’. That is a male concern. Racism is a male invention and it is rooted in woman-hate. Men, concerned with who gets to fuck their slaves (women), get violent at the idea of men outside their racial group having access. That is where racism comes from. Men own the pussy of their own racial group and they’ll fight to the death to keep it that way.
So, back to the data. I prefer to look at the data that black activists themselves provide. They will either be accurate or exaggerated, and I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, because it helps my argument, which I am basing in reality and on fact. According to black activist groups, fewer than 5 blacks (men and women) are killed by police per million (as compared with 2 per million for both whites and hispanics). [Note, I have found another more statistically-based site that offers raw data for 2015/2016 that 568 blacks were killed by cops in total in the US. Blacks are also the racial group most often armed with guns. Asians, for some reason, love knives more than any other – markedly so…] The majority are armed, mostly with guns, occasionally with knives. I have no reason to argue with these figures. I believe the activists. I am not a racism denier or cop apologist. And I don’t think people who are not committing crimes should be killed. If people are committing crimes, especially violent ones against women or girls, that is another matter entirely. Shootings of blacks by cops is a big deal and is widely reported in the news. Whether the cops are prosecuted is another matter.
And these killings are getting A LOT of play in the media, a lot of shouting and demonstrating by activists, and white liberals are completely on board and behaving the way they are supposed to by saying all the right things and silencing anyone who questions the data or anyone who would rather focus on larger social problems.
And so we get to those larger and longer-running social problems. We are getting to the car crashes. Violence against women. Cops killing black men is the deliciously salacious air crash, violence against women is the too common, too boring car crash. Let’s look at some conservative estimates (most women don’t report crimes against them, so these data are low-ball estimates of reality).
152,000 women per million are stalked. Remember, the number of blacks killed by cops is 5 per million. Also note that of all the women killed by their partners, more than 3/4 of them are terrorized through stalking first, and that is more than 5 women per million.
200,000 women per million are raped in their lifetime. Remember, the number of blacks killed by cops is 5 per million versus 200,000 raped women per million. And that is a very conservative estimate due to refusal to report, self-denial, mishandling and trashing of rape reports by law enforcers and hospitals, and doesn’t take into account multiple rapes by different men and repeated rapes by the same man/men. This figure is also conservative because of the very narrow, male definition of rape. And this figure doesn’t include sexual assault, sexual harassment, and other sexual terrorism. That figure would be 1,000,000 women per 1,000,000. And many of these women are living an aftermath that makes death look sweet and kind. Often, rape is the worst torture imaginable. Men can’t imagine. It doesn’t happen to them.
111,111 little girls per million are sexually abused by adults. The adults are almost always men and almost always men they know. 111,111 abused girls (who often go on to kill themselves, abuse drugs, develop mental illness, and fall into rape lifestyles of porn and prostitution) per million compared with 5 blacks per million. And this figure, unlike killings of black men, are hard to confirm or identify and vastly underreported.
15 women out of 100 rape victims will try to kill themselves because of what men, including black men, and cops of any race for that matter, consider to be harmless and natural and hilarious fun times. I think most rape victims at least think about killing themselves. And I think the figure is conservative as most women don’t talk about what has happened to them.
This is why I’m just not that concerned about a few killings compared to an insanely more prolific phenomenon. There is a REAL problem out there and that is men committing violent acts against girls and women. It is shameful and insulting to ignore, negate and erase the millions and millions of women suffering and dying at the hands of men of ALL COLOURS and including male police and men from all walks of life and all professions, from homeless men to male politicians and male doctors. It is insulting to erase the millions of women and what they suffer through in order to focus on a few very well-publicized killings of men. It is not my job to fight for (often) armed black men. I support innocent women and girls victimized simply for existing while female. A woman doesn’t even need to leave her home or even her bed to be brutalized.
Bottom Line
For most people, their thinking is greatly affected by what they read in or hear on the news. We have brains so that we can think critically, analyze information, ask important questions, and draw correct conclusions. Our media tell us what is important, and what is important has little to do with reality, facts, and statistics/numbers. Importance wears a penis. That penis has many colours, but it is still a penis, and reality is bent to accommodate and support that penis.
When you look at the numbers, the facts, reality, you see that it is still safer to take a plane than drive a car, and it is certainly safer and better to be male than female regardless of your race in this world. And in the specific example here, it is safer to be a black male than a woman of any colour in the US. Regardless of what liberals tell you and how loudly. There is no shortage of black men despite the fact they are being *constantly* killed by police (5 per million), but women are being raped right, left and centre (200,000+ per million) and living with the aftermath of that torture, the negation or erasure of their ordeals, and the physical complications for the rest of their lives.
Why Do I Have to Be One or the Other?
I’m on the road, Jack. For the next I’m not sure how long. At least a month and up to six weeks. Chinese university is on holiday – we are between semesters and there is Chinese New Year to celebrate or take advantage of, depending on your perspective on Chinese festivals. This year, I decided to leave the country. About half the time, I don’t. I don’t love travelling like I once did. Something about men existing and ruining a woman’s exploration into the unknown, or something. I get tired of being assaulted when I venture into the world.
But this time, I have a little personal business to take care of, and I don’t know, my energy feels a little more up than usual. So I’m travelling. I spent a few good days in Hong Kong, a night in San Francisco. And now I’m with old friends in Northern California. I’ll be around for a spell. Where to after that? Not sure.
Now here’s the thing about California. While it has its rednecks, and certainly while it has its pockets of conservative communities, it is a pretty hardcore liberal state. I know I’m not really telling you anything new. California is known for its ‘fruits and nuts’ of both the food and human variety.
Sometimes, when talking about American ideology, it is hard to separate viewpoints from official political stance. For me, it’s like trying to separate culture and religion for homogenous societies (for example, in the US or Canada, religion doesn’t define the culture in the way that it does in say, Israel or the Middle East). When you start talking about conservative and liberal, however, at least in the US, it is hard to separate the thinking from the politics. Liberal thinkers, on the whole tend to subscribe to Liberal/Democrat politics. This is a result of a two-party system. You can’t apply this in Canada, which is not a two-party system and where the Liberal party is much more conservative than the party to which most liberal thinkers subscribe. So for non-Americans, this whole conservative-liberal divide gets very confusing, especially when you are naturally categorized once you start talking about issues.
The next problem is that since there are only two real camps, you are assumed to be part of either one or the other. And frankly, neither one is attractive. Frequently, I find liberal and conservative thinkers are on the same page, even if the words sound different.
And so I find myself deep in liberal/Liberal country, and scared shitless. I am definitely not conservative, but I can’t get on board with unthinking, knee-jerk liberal reactionaries. I deliberately don’t talk politics or social issues here. It some ways, it’s worse in the US than it is in China. I’m expected to be a crazy, weirdo in China with my strange Western ways and viewpoints (I have to remind people that I am not like most Western people). But in the West, especially the US and even Canada, talking my crazy talk about feminism and religion and culture can get me hurt. So much for free speech and thinking in the West, eh? China is not a safe place to have opinions, but I’d argue that the US isn’t either.
My first night with friends, I found myself with my first conundrum/ethical issue. I’m staying with a liberal couple, and the female of the duo is a full-time activist/volunteer. And she announced that is is MLK (Martin Luther King) Day coming up. Whoops, forgot about that. Not on my radar. Apparently, there is going to be some event involving marching to some given place and then lots of food, probably some speeches. She is going and she really thinks her husband and I should go too. Now, knowing her and the type of person she is, I know this is more than a suggestion. At the risk of sounding high school, there is serious peer pressure here.
I don’t want to go.
My primary reason for this is that I’m a radical feminist. Yeah, you heard me. If you are American, you probably automatically put me in the conservative camp when I failed to support MLK Day. You’d be wrong. I’m not a white supremacist or a ‘down with black people’ kind of asshole. I’m a radical feminist, and I am done supporting Dick and his many manifestations. And MLK Day is about Dick. Black Dick, but still Dick. MLK was a misogynist who wanted to free black men. MEN. Black women were expected to support their men in this cause. And today, white women are expected to support black men, despite the fact that these men are doing better economically than even privileged white bitches (yes, there are data on this). Women of colour have always taken a back seat in this movement, which defeats the whole purpose for me. I support female causes, and I am also not taking reponsibility for white men’s racism, another thing white feminists are expected to do. I’m still waiting for a pile of black men to support a radical feminist cause (not a slut-walk where they have their cameras out to capture liberal feminist titties for future wanking purposes). Since that is never going to happen, I see no reason to support a black men’s rally. More precious gynergy wasting, imo. Female causes only.
But of course, I’m not allowed to say this to the woman who is hosting me in her home. I will have to fabricate a reason not to go as a fellow guilty white lady. In a dichotomous world, there is no third stance. There is no position where you can divert your energy and attention to women as a class without focus on race as a diversion and not be seen as a conservative racist. I hold true to the belief that racism is a direct result of misogyny and that focusing on the latter is the way to go in order to tackle both. But I can’t say that in public.
Welcome to America.
Killing the Internet
I do believe I’m in the midst of a new series on fantasy, which I’ll post in the sidebar once I have a few more posts under my belt. I kicked it off with a New Year’s post on the topic.
Next, I’m going to try to tackle a topic that is near and dear to many people’s hearts: the internet.
Background
I need to include a little background lest I be accused of being a technophobe or anti-something-or-other-along-those-lines.
I fucking love the internet.
Is that a strong enough statement? I was introduced to the internet in two installments. First, in 1991, through having to access bulletin boards to provide information and programs to customers at the little computer consultancy for which I worked before I went to university. And then full on in 1992 when I started uni and could walk into a computer lab and come face-to-face with a Windows-based browser. In 1991, I didn’t quite grasp the implication of what I was accessing, but the following year, it was pretty clear. And my world changed forever.
It’s perhaps for a different post on a different blog all the myriad ways my life changed, often for the better. Suffice it to say that the internet’s capabilities spoke to me, my interests and skill set on a number of levels. I’ve had opportunities because of the internet, I have certain RL friends because of the internet, and much of the informal learning and formal education I’ve been driven to pursue has been facilitated by the internet.
It’s Just a Fantasy, Honey
So, let me pose a question.
If you could opt to turn off the internet for good, for all people in the world, would you do it?
Hmm, just writing that question down (typing it, whatever) sends many different thoughts and feelings through me. Many people among males and the younger generation might consider this a no-brainer of a question and answer immediately with a ‘hell no!’ But it is a question that gives me very serious pause, even saying this as a heavy and long-term internet user. Let’s explore.
If you’re over 40’ish, grew up in an impoverished nation, or grew up in a cave in the West, you can remember what life was like before the internet (and cell phones, for that matter) became mainstream / accessible to the hoi polloi. Life was fine. It worked. Nothing was missing. People didn’t bump into things, lost, wondering how to function. People had friends and networks and ways of learning and disseminating information. In some ways, I miss those days. My world was more local. My friends were people I saw regularly, in person. We made appointments and kept them. Emergencies were emergencies. Work (except for traditional ‘women’s work’ which is 24/7/365) mostly happened during business hours.
With the internet came a freedom of information (of sorts) and a greater speed of access to information that made a large world smaller, increased social and knowledge networks, and provided a whole host of personal and commercial economic opportunities. Some of this was good.
But there was a whole sinking boatload of bad that came with it thanks to men. Earlier, I wrote a post comparing a few of the bads and the goods and how women are affected by the internet. As someone who has spent a lot of time on the net, socially, intellectually, and doing research, I’ve noticed a downward, depressing and alarming trend in net citizen behaviour. Despite all the potential for good, and the current projects that allow positive phenomena to happen, the internet, like all tools controlled by and designed for men, has become increasingly a place of male abuse and violence against (primarily) women and girls.
The internet has become – as all male-focused tools inevitably become – fouled, debased, filthy, destructive, violence-fuelled and -fuelling.
It is estimated that up to 40% of the internet and internet traffic is porn-driven now. Major porn sites generate more traffic than the major social networking and online video sites put together. Most American men (equal numbers religious, Christians are just as disgusting as any other dudes) watch porn. And this site can give you a tiny taste of the kinds of search terms men use to find shit on the net. And the content is getting more and more violent and bizarre.
All in the name of fantasy and free speech. Male fantasy and free speech.
And all the male fantasy and free speech spills over into both internet interactions and real life in the form of violence.
Outside porn sites, men now set up websites or over-populate social networking sites to go on woman-hate vendettas. Women are driven off of sites when they dare to speak. Women are targeted online for vile abuse and threats and shaming for doing nothing other than daring to exist. Men with nothing to lose and no sense of shame, humanity, empathy or accountability pile on lone women online using the most disgusting and hateful language imaginable. Women’s own sites are targeted for trolling and censorship.
But the hate doesn’t stop at the keyboard. The effects of online porn and then the inflamed online woman-hate (whether deliberately organized or organic) moves to RL into the very interactions women have with partners, sons, male acquaintances, classmates, bosses, and random male strangers.
Not fantasy. This is real stuff. Real for women. It’s not getting better.
So I come back to my question. If given the choice, would you turn off the internet for good?
I think about everything I would lose if I turned off the internet. I think about all the ways my life would have to change. And I think about everything I and the world would gain by the act.
Losses: I would lose access to readings from around the world by women. But then I could start a local women’s writing, reading, discussion group. I would lose connections with feminists online, but really, what good are these online connections if I need RL help or I lose power or something happens to them and I have no idea how to find out what’s going on? Honestly, as much as I do get something important out of the few interactions I currently have with online feminists, I’d rather have a small group of them in RL. I would lose my ability to speak my mind in anonymity. Perhaps this is the biggest potential loss. I’ve never been able to speak in RL. First, I come from an abusive home – I was not allowed to dissent or have feelings. Also, I’m a writer, not a speaker. And finally, I am a woman – women are not allowed to speak in this world without consequences. It is dangerous. I think these are the three biggest things I would lose and feel the loss of. The knowledge and the relationships and the speaking platform. The first two, I could deal with – I think relying upon online versions takes away from forging something in RL. The third would be difficult.
Making changes: Since I can remember life before the internet, and that life was just fine, or at least not worse than it is now, I think it is doable. It actually is attractive. Imagine having to cultivate local relationships and networks again. Imagine having hobbies that would take me outdoors. Imagine finding something creative to do instead of falling back on doing something useless, but amusing (maybe) online. I used to do this before the internet. I mean, I’m normally a fairly quiet and solitary person, but I had more dealings with the meat world than I do now. And especially being in China, I spend much, much less time outdoors than I do in the West. Having the internet supports this asocial ‘agoraphobia’. I don’t go out for walks here. My outdoor forays are solely purpose-driven: work, buying food and meeting a friend. No internet? Things would have to change radically. I wouldn’t be in China, likely.
Gains: No internet, I firmly believe, translates into less violence. Men are violent. We can’t get away from that unless we get rid of them all. Seriously. But the internet fuels their violence and gives them an outlet for their hate. And it is an outlet that allows men who would normally not have a place to talk about their hate to feel supported and egged on. All the men who previously kept the violence at bay are now given permission by nameless, faceless others to act out their ‘fantasies’. No internet means less violence against women and girls. Less normalization of violence. Less hate propaganda. The internet is not about free speech. It is about letting men say whatever they want, including hate speech, and about censoring women for speaking truth. Women are only tolerated if they parrot hate speech against themselves and fellow women.
Conclusion
As much as I love the internet, I would turn it off permanently if I had that power. To put a stop to the major outlet of male violence and male violent ‘fantasy’ outweighs any gains I or we might currently enjoy. I could envision a re-do of advanced communication systems in my fantasy world with no men. I do think an internet-like contraption is a very good idea – just not in the hands of men.
2016: Year of the Fantasy
I’ll start with a note on fantasy since I don’t think a lot of people really understand what it means and it is used incorrectly by men (of course) to justify any number of things they do or say or endorse. Men control language, you see, so they can define something one way, and then when it’s to their advantage, they can spin the table.
Fantasy, essentially, is
the act of imagining something impossible or very, very, very unlikely.
All of the video, pictorial, and written porn that exists supposedly falls into that category, and if men decide not to abuse the term ‘free speech’, they’ll fall back on “it’s just fantasy”.
Except that it’s not. The things that happen in porn happen to women, to quote Andrea Dworkin. So porn doesn’t fit the definition of fantasy because it is based on and perpetuates reality. It is violence. It is crime. It is rape. It is reality.
But I don’t want to be sidetracked here. This isn’t a post about men’s vacant inner lives and the need to fill their void with the worst kinds of hate and destruction.
No, this is a post about real fantasy. A woman’s fantasy. My fantasy. It is fantasy because it is impossible (or very, very, very unlikely). The purpose of a fantasy is to escape from the oppression of reality. And who needs to escape more than anyone? Women.
Perhaps 2015 would be better known as the Year of Anger because that’s what it seemed like to me. I’d like to think that this recent period leading up to and including the turn of the year, which has been filled with delightful thoughts of a world that is not possible, will continue through the remainder of the year. We’ll see. I hope so. I tend to be a realist and that is not necessarily a fun place to be – ask any woman who rejects feminism. She can’t handle it because it is a framework based on reality and reality is fucking depressing. And who wants that? Jeez.
I am fantasizing about a world with no men. I don’t care how they disappear. That has not yet entered into the equation. All I have at this point is an established world that doesn’t know men and certainly doesn’t fantasize about having them there! In many ways, it is unimaginable – as I said, it is pure fantasy. We have nothing to base the fantasy on except the negation of the current wrongs, or the opposite of what currently exists. It’s simplistic, but a starting place for a person or people who have known nothing other than slavery and whose history has been effectively erased to support the maintenance of that slavery.
So indulge me in a cursory look at the start of my fantasy, in the form of a list, which is no more than a woman’s surface look at what taking away the testosterone element might effect. At this point, I’m working from the negation/elimination of the current evils men have perpetrated and that have led to widespread destruction. I firmly believe women would not have gone down that same path as we don’t destroy ourselves of our own free will. Once you start thinking about everything you could do if you didn’t have to worry about the threat of men in all areas of life, you find yourself with endless possibilities. I truly think that without men, society would have achieved infinitely more in a much shorter amount of time. Woman-hate is a time and resource waster, a distraction.
Without men, we would have under the following topics:
Sexual Safety
- No rape
- No fear at night
- No sexual harassment or intimidation
- No sexual assault
- Little to no violent crime
- No gangs
- No dominance/submission structures
- No BDSM or sexual power play
- No prostitution
- No stripping/pole dancing/demeaning ‘sex work’ of any kind
- No sex/human trafficking
- No missing girls or women
- No slavery
- No pornography
- No surveillance
- No need for a police force (mediators, perhaps)
- No misogyny
Global/Community Safety
- No property ownership
- No vandalism
- No weapons (other than practical ones for hunting)
- So, no guns, no bombs, no biological weapons, no nuclear weapons
- No territorial disputes
- No need for armies
- No terrorism
- No spies
- No diplomats
- No peacekeepers
- No war
- No refugees
- No racism
Economics
- No money-based system
- No drive for material wealth/possessions
- No bullshit ‘women love shopping’ myth/propaganda
- No corruption
- No privileged class
- No underbelly social class
- No ridiculous demeaning jobs
- No strikes
- No sweatshops
- No greed
- No poverty
- No classism
Ideology
- No religion
- No ignorance
- No blind faith
- No dogma
- No irrational punishments and requirements
- No negation of truth or knowledge
- No needless shame
- No ideological persecution
- Commitment to truth rather than preservation of lies
Social Structure and Breeding
- No family
- No marriage
- No domestic slavery
- No pair bonding
- No forced breeding
- Little need for abortion (medical only)
- No pregnancy worship or denegration
- No myth surrounding biological clocks ticking
- Possible alternatives to natural pregnancy
- Low birth rate / population
- No unwanted children
- No male children
- No orphanages
- No street kids
Health
- No monetization of healthcare
- Universal healthcare
- No denial of services
- Longer life spans without the obsession with longevity
- No sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV
- Little mental illness
- No mental illness stigmatization
- No anorexia / morbid obesity
- Little needless surgery
- Easy, non-stigmatized, humane access to assisted suicide
- Integrated, healthy relationships between patients and all practitioners of the health arts
- Health research not tied to agendas, cover-ups, fuelled instead by a willingness to explore all avenues
- No animal research
The Body
- No ridiculous focus on youth or beauty
- No gender
- No trans nonsense
- No body hate or image problems
- No cutting or self-mutilation
- Comfortable, woman-centric clothing
- No make-up or other hate-driven, toxic/harmful masking behaviours
- No body-destroying fashion
- No illogical body rituals (shaving, bleaching, whitening, etc)
- No surgery designed to ‘augment’ the body
Environment
- No global warming
- No needless waste
- No needless killing of animals
- No water, air, soil pollution
- No massive cities
- Only clean energy
- No property/money/patent-oriented messing with food
- No monocrops
- No large-scale agriculture
- Community gardens
- No animal farms
- Focus on biodegradable products
- Composting, vermiculture
- No chemical pesticides
- Environment-focused, local growing
- No introduced species (animals, plants, fungi, bacteria)
Education
- Complementary technology for life assistance and co-existence rather than life destruction
- No education-as-childcare mentality
- Multiple styles of education available regardless of age
- No rigid age-to-grade classes
- Regular person-focused educational needs assessments
- Universal education to all who want it
- No priority subject areas
- Premium information search tools and information repositories, untainted by pornography and violence
There is so much more. This is just off the top of my head. And I’ll fully admit that it is only a starting point. As I stated earlier, when living in a slave system, it is hard to imagine a world of possibilities and so you must begin imagining the opposite of what you have.
Fine, Let’s Just Have Two Male Bathrooms
Living in China and Taiwan has frequently made me feel I’m living out surreal Kafka-like scenarios. Strange racist demands or limitations or really unfair policies directed only at foreigners are delivered with a straight face to the foreign victim, and there is always the implication that you are psychotic for not going along quietly and seeing how rational the treatment is.
I’ve been told I can’t have a university faculty email address because I might be a spy for my government. I’ve turned down jobs where I was told I would have a significant portion of my earnings withheld until I could prove I was honest. Guilty until proven innocent are foreigners. And I’ve been chained into my residential building at night because it was ‘safer’ that way – in some places, I was not allowed by the police to live outside the school, so there really was no avoiding a prison atmosphere.
And because many people’s knee-jerk reactions will be: you’re Western, you can’t complain, and this doesn’t sound so bad – let’s paint this in another way. Imagine in your country, disallowing Chinese university instructors staff email addresses, withholding only the Chinese instructors’ paycheques, or chaining Chinese instructors into their staff housing at night if they are forced to live on campus. Yeah, that makes it sound a little crazier, yes? Well, it is normal to do this to foreigners here.
This is Chinese thinking and they explain and do these things as if they believe they are correct and good for Chinese for foreigners. To the recipient of these edicts, your mind starts spinning. In what world is this rational? In what world are these not human rights abuses? One has no way of fighting this. I’ve spoken about China being another planet before. China is a fucked up place, but it is fucked up in a different way than Western or other countries are. For example, they are not dealing with the West’s equally Kafkaesque trannie issues.
In the trans wars, the victims expected to accept human rights abuses are women, not foreigners. I’ve read countless examples of what appear to be very male-entitled, mentally ill MtT people (men) demanding the conversion of a safe’ish female-only space (bathrooms and change rooms) into man-friendly zones.
I don’t believe on principle that non-gender-conforming men should be messed with by other men because of their non-conformity – it is stupid and unfair and typical male bullshit. BUT it is a men’s issue, and I won’t waste my precious energy policing man-on-man violence. If they want to kill each other, have at it. If they all disappeared, women would finally be safe. How would this be a bad thing???
These non-conforming men lose the tiny bit of sympathy I can muster for them when they try to solve their problems at the expense of women. And of course, that is what they automatically do. That is what men do. “Poor me. Men hate me. I, I, I know! I will make myself feel better by shitting on women! Yeah! We’ve been doing it forever, and they are not allowed to fight back! Problem solved.” Instead of creating trannie spaces, which is the logical and fair thing to do, they just take the little that women have. It is so much easier to conquer an already conquered class than to start from scratch and forge your own resources and spaces and identities.
And so the invasion of women’s very private and safe’ish spaces – the very places we piss, shit, deal with our menstrual blood, cry, hide, escape from men, have a private moment, change our clothes, and sometimes exchange woman-oriented information and bonds – is well under-way. Men under the delusion (and sometimes not so deluded delusion…) that they are women because they like Hello Kitty and sparkly nail polish are convincing the legal system in general, and institutions/organizations one-by-one that they need to invade have access to women’s bodies, privacy, feeling of security, spaces.
And what can women do when they try to argue against the invasion of men into their very private spaces? Nothing. It is a Kafka-like scenario – it is so messed up, it is hard to even get a handle on rational thought. Women are suddenly the oppressors. Trans are being victimized. No word is made of how they are treated in the male bathroom/change room and that the violence being done to them (if any) is by men. It is women preventing the individual from feeling safe. It is women preventing the trans from having a place to do his business. It is not logical, rational, sense-making. And given that she is now painted as an oppressor, the woman has two ‘choices’: accept having to do her business in a male space, or not entering the space at all (having nowhere to go at all). There is no longer a woman’s bathroom/change room, but two men’s rooms.
And the best part? If a trans commits any kind of hate crime against the women whose space he has now legally taken over and in these very spaces, it is seen as woman-on-woman crime. Mark my words, we are going to see a ‘strange’ and ‘inexplicable’ jump in sex crimes with female perps, and men will sit back and smugly say: “See? Women are violent too.”
Letting Perps Define Crime
Let’s say you own a house. One day, a person comes to your door, you open it, the person orders you out at gun point, closes and locks the door, and sets up house. The person immediate sets about changing the locks, rearranging everything within the house, discarding things that are not to their liking, and carrying on as if the house were theirs. Any attempt you made to re-enter and re-claim the house was fended off by the person who ousted you. When you went to the authorities, they listened to you and then asked the person now residing in your home for their side of the story. The person tells the police that the house was yours, but is now theirs, that you willingly signed over the house, and can even produce papers that appear to be signed by you. The police do not dig any further, seem satisfied that you are not the rightful owner of the house, and essentially tell you that you should be ashamed of yourself for taking up their precious time, possibly you are stupid, and to shove off.
You are distraught and feel helpless. You believe a crime has been committed, but no one seems to believe you. The person who took your house was given more respect and credibility than you were. You begin to doubt your anger and wonder whether you had it coming. Perhaps you should have been more careful. Shouldn’t have answered the door. You have moments when you are angry again, and you try to build up your confidence by seeking support from friends. They don’t believe you either, and remind you of several instances reflecting your incompetence as a home-owner. They tell you to look on the bright side, be more positive, remember that there are people worse off in the world who have never owned a home. You become silent. The person living in your home prospers and actually goes on to steal other homes in the same manner.
Okay, the whole story sounds implausible. This would never happen in a civilized society, right? Thieves aren’t automatically believed over their victims, that a theft occurred isn’t questioned, and thieves absolutely don’t get to define what makes something ‘theft’ or not. Those who benefit from committing a theft are not the ones who get to make the rules. And victims of theft are not reviled.
So here’s the question or questions. Why do men get to define crimes against women? Why do men get to decide whether what happens to a woman’s body is a crime or not? Why doesn’t a woman get to say that what has happened to her is a crime? Why aren’t women solely responsible for setting up policy and law around crimes against female persons? We know best. Our bodies are ours and even among the most brainwashed, there is always a part of us that knows that what is being done to us by men is wrong. When men get to define whether what they are doing to us is right or wrong, there is no justice or objectivity. Male definitions also affect incidence (thus you can have a ‘rape free’ society if men define rape in the narrowest of terms, and you can have a society where men are raped equally frequently by women if men define rape as an equal-opportunity crime). Only men rape (sexual assault is different from rape), so only men benefit from rape. Men set up policy and laws to benefit themselves. Since only women are raped, women should be doing the defining.
We can only conclude that even in the most ‘advanced’ of countries, women are still owned by men. Men define crimes against men’s property, thus they define what is or isn’t a crime against a woman. While rape is a ‘crime’, it is very, very narrowly defined and under this definition is so very difficult to prove that the law is meaningless.
To those men who say that the West is female-dominated, no. No, it isn’t. That is your imagination and entitlement talking. A female-dominated society would mean no crime targeting women at all. We are far from that. Like light years away kind of far. This same issue that I am describing now was at the heart of first-wave Western feminists’ pursuit of suffrage. Sadly, getting the vote didn’t achieve what those women sought – power in defining and legally being able to do something about crimes against women.
‘Out There’ Women
We live in a world where men are allowed to follow their thoughts to the very end and announce them in bold caps, surround sound and techni-colour.
How?
Men are the censors, the thought police, the free-speakers, the fuckers, the threat-issuers, the policy-, law-, and rape-makers, the law-breakers, the judges, juries and executioners, the johns. The Free.
This is how they turn their fantasies into reality. This is how they turn their crimes into rights. This is how they turn their mediocrities into merits. This is how they turn their hate into freedom.
Women are not allowed to speak freely. We must support Dick or shut up. If we don’t shut up, we will be shut up. Women may not state the facts. Women may not question the status quo. Women may not ask ‘why?’ Women may not fantasize in response to what men put out there in the name of ‘free speech’, in the name of our annihilation, in the name of their orgasms. Women may not defend themselves.
It is a rare woman who dares to follow her thoughts to the end, and she pays dearly. A few applaud her bravery within earshot, eyes gleaming and then darting, careful. A few more silently support, nodding in privacy and anonymity. And the majority wish her harmed, silenced, erased, dead. Sometimes, they get their wish.
I wish to see, hear, read more women who are ‘out there’. Daring to follow their thoughts to the end. Speaking the unspeakable – women’s words. Daring to be seen, heard, read… potentially silenced. But ultimately, daring to be believed and joined.
~~~~
Lordy, I have FINALLY found myself on YouTube and made a recording of this post. Only 7.5 years later 😉
By the way, ♀️ if you care to support Story Ending Never, we are appreciative. ⚢
My Planet Is Simpler, but Not Better
I first moved to another planet in 2003. It was called Taiwan. And then several years after leaving, I returned to that part of the solar system and moved to a planet called China.
I guess I should explain, since I’m coming off as a space cadet of sorts. There are places you go that feel so completely different and seem to operate so differently that it’s as if they are a separate world from your own. There are a number of things that factor into other-worldliness. Operating language, political and economic system, values, social structure, racial composition, general standard of living, environmental conditions, educational system, taboos – really, it’s hard to list everything that goes into how out of your element you might feel. I think it’s different for everyone – both the factors and the level of differentness you experience.
I don’t really want to get into the particulars of China or Chinese culture except where they involve feminism and atheism – the purpose of this blog. I have a completely separate blog on China that I have maintained for several years.
I will say that while Chinese culture is very complex and convoluted in some ways, there is something missing that the West hasn’t managed to export (yet) and that makes it very simple in some important ways.
Sexual and identity politics.
When I read what Western feminists are talking about – things that are going on in their home countries, particularly around trannies and issues surrounding the silencing of feminists – it is a little hard for me to believe. It has been a while since I lived in – or I should say was immersed in – Western culture. Even in the last 10 years when I have lived in the West, I’ve not lived in cities or around young people or within academic circles. So it astounds me the level of craziness that is going on with this need to ‘identify as’ something. To be honest, it sounds very ‘high school’ to me. It smacks of this needy, dysfunctional immaturity that one typically sees with teenagers as they strive so hard to be different, unique and rebellious, and that ends up making them all kind of the same. Pathetic, sometimes laughable, but mostly harmless. Most of us go through it – when we are kids – it’s a phase. But unlike with teenagers and their identity quests, what is going on is having serious legal and social consequences. For women, feminists in particular. Nothing laughable about that.
We just don’t have this in China. We are still barely dealing with the idea of homosexuality here. And for me, since I’ve become used to the insanity that for a long time marked China as a different planet, the sexual/identity repression has become a major factor in my seeing/feeling China as another world.
It is very hard for me to describe China to people who have never been here in a way that they can understand. For example, the best, but still mostly inadequate, way for me to describe it is that it is a mix of the 1950’s and almost-now. The almost-now part refers to technology. For example, their high speed rail system is top notch and puts public transportation in North America to shame. And they skipped email and went straight to smart phones and texting as the primary mode of communication. But sexually and socially, China is living in the past. A traditional culture coupled with a dictatorial government is responsible, I believe. Gender roles are strict and people generally comply. Even the rebellious weirdo type isn’t commonly seen – and I live in a major city where you are more likely to see this stuff.
To this day, I’ve only met one person who has told me they are gay, even though my gaydar has gone off for both males and females tons of times over the years. These folks will go on to marry and breed and perhaps never wonder why there is little joy in their arrangement, unfortunately. I’ve met many people who adamantly profess that they are not gay, however. The gay-jokey accusations are constant among students. All in all, being gay really isn’t on the table as an option and there is nothing resembling a social movement here.
But on a smaller scale, I’ve noticed that students are paying more lip-service to both valuing female babies as well as acknowledging that gay people both exist and should be treated better, however. One of my Masters students asked if he could choose the topic of gay rights for his speech in my class – not that HE was gay – because he was feeling some shame and sympathy that gays and lesbians were treated so badly in China. He also told me that he wouldn’t dare talk about this anywhere other than in our English class – it wouldn’t be accepted. I’ve also noticed a few student groups tackle a gay topic when our department has held film-making contests.
All in all, this is where things are in China’s sexual landscape with regard to identity. It feels not sufficiently open but safe from identity pirates at the same time. It is a naive society, although becoming less naive due to the intrusion of Western sitcoms coming through via the internet. I’m not aware of any Western television programs that both encapsulate the transgender or queer identity madness and have made their way into Chinese consciousness. I’m trying to imagine attempting to explain it to my students. Someone would inevitably ask me what it all means. I do get students ask me why, for example, Americans are obsessed with sex. That is what they see in television and films. Sex, sex, and more sex. And I try to give an explanation.
I don’t really feel I’ve done this topic justice, but I’ll conclude. While I feel like I’m living on a completely different planet, I will say that similar to the planets I’m familiar with, all are run on patriarchy and misogyny. China is simpler, but not better, and at its core, perhaps not all that different.
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Addendum: I just read the following post by Phonaesthetica on the show ‘Transparent’, and the second-to-last episode of season 2 which paints lesbians in a bad light because they don’t accept MtTs in their space. The description of the episode sounds like the usual activist drivel – the man-in-dress character is painted as a Nazi-victim. I’m glad this nonsense hasn’t hit China. I’m having this weird sense of dread that like with their technology experience (skipping email and going directly to text messaging), they are going to skip the gay rights movement and move directly into pushing every gender-confused person into forced sex changes. Sounds crazy, but yanno, this is a crazy world.
Conversations with Men: The Cambodian
In my last ‘conversations with men’ post about the rape holiday, I mentioned that I would pull another experience from my Cambodian visit. In the former, I was an observer. In this story, I was an object.
Women are constantly divided and divided again. It is a male strategy to prevent women from joining against them in solidarity to fight back in a serious way. But scores of women get on board for a variety of reasons in order to show their sisters that the dissimilarities and points of disagreement are much more important than their common experiences and needs.
Despite being the violent and sadistic sex, there is a great deal of evidence that men of different races, socioeconomic classes, religions, and political leanings are always quite able to come together – and even bond – over a single common cause: abusing, torturing, terrorizing and destroying women and girls. It is a pity that women cannot come together over the single common cause of liberating themselves from men, their violence, and their parasitic tendencies.
And it is with this thinking that I present a conversation from several years ago. Reviewing my two experiences well after the fact made me realize that despite the many differences between me and the young, female, Cambodian prostitute, we both shared the reality that we were objects. We were both seen by men, first and foremost, as bodies to be used.
~~~
Rewind to 2003: I was in the middle of a two-week trip by myself to Cambodia. It is very common for travellers, especially if you’re alone, to hire motorcycle guides in the larger areas. These drivers are often connected to guest houses, and you can hire them for single trips or pay a flat fee for a period time. While in Phnom Penh, I hired a driver who was able to speak some English (I don’t speak Khmer, and those few Cambodians who speak French are quite old now). I did a number of things, including seeing some of the historic sites, checking out one of the riverside, local clubs for some live music (no other foreigners there), and on one of the days, spending an afternoon by the water in the shade eating durian.
Through conversation, I was able to get an inside look into the life of a typical, low-earning, young man. And I also was reminded of my place as a woman.
At that point in my life, I sported very short hair, so I had to provide an answer as to why. Surprisingly, I wasn’t asked why I never wore skirts or dresses. After many more years living in China, I’ve come to expect and hate this whole line of questioning about hair, clothes, husbandlessness, childlessness. But at the time, I was still in my first year in Asia.
But then we moved on to other things.
Dude took on an air of sadness. He said he was too poor to get married. he had to share a room with several other guys. And he had to go to prostitutes.
Yeah, he lost me there. One thing I do hate about traditional cultures is the mandatory marriage thing and the idea that you need to have X amount of money in order to live up to expectations and procure a slave. But I don’t feel sorry for the MEN. I feel sorry for the women. Being sold into slavery – which is exactly what marriage was and still is – is not something I agree with or think is part of a healthy society. And in traditional cultures, if a woman can’t get married, there aren’t a lot of other options for her to support herself. Further, she becomes vulnerable to all men when she isn’t owned by one man. It’s a racket that men designed. Women are screwed no matter what happens. But married men benefit, so who gives a shit, eh?
But the marriage thing wasn’t where dude lost me. It was the ‘had to go to prostitutes’ comment. Men believe they must have sex. And they believe that if they can’t get it from their personal whore (wife/girlfriend/family member), then they must get if from a public whore. And then there is outright, payment-free rape of strangers, which I won’t get into in this post. The thing is, nobody has ever died from not having sex. And I say this as someone who, for much of my life, has had a demanding sex drive that no man (or woman, for that matter) I’ve known could match. Ever. And yet, despite almost never getting what I wanted – quality or quantity – and then eventually just ditching men altogether when I came to my senses about ‘how shit works’ in both the greater world and in my own world, I never felt I was entitled to sex. And I haven’t died from the lack. Presto magic. So take it from me, men don’t need sex.
And then the conversation got worse.
Dude got it in his head that he should have sex with me. The suggestion was put out there. He didn’t actually offer to pay me for sex. No. The idea was that I could continue to pay for his driving services as well as the food we were consuming, and he could have sex with me. It was almost as if he were offering himself up as a prostitute (although he didn’t ask for extra money), except for one very, very significant difference.
This difference lies in the sexes of the people in my last story versus this current story.
Women generally don’t offer themselves as prostitutes because they like sex or want random sex with strangers. Prostitutes are generally desperate, vulnerable women with a history of sexual, physical and psychological abuse. Both men and sex are dangerous to women, and men generally don’t cater (let alone acknowledge) women’s sexual needs. Don’t believe me? Well there is a shit ton of evidence on all. I don’t need to provide statistics. Spend five seconds on Google.
Men seldom offer themselves as prostitutes to WOMEN. To men, yes. That is more common and I don’t really care about that dynamic. When a man, like in my scenario, suggests sex to a woman, he is looking to get off. And in this case, especially, a) he didn’t suggest a monetary exchange, and b) in most cultures, especially traditional ones like Cambodia, men don’t service women – they use them. And if they give something, it is never without the expectation of something in return. So this dude wasn’t offering me anything. He was expecting something.
Of course, I said, “No.”
Everything about this exchange was repulsive. There was fear that he would attack me because I said no (luckily, that didn’t happen – HIV rates were at an all-time high in Cambodia at that time – and nobody wants to be raped anyways). I realized that none of my ‘privilege’ could erase the fact that I was still a woman and thus was under the thumb and at the whim of this guy and every single man on the planet regardless of their status among other men. I realized that because he, a man, brought up sex, no matter how this guy had framed it, he was insulting me: to offer me money would be to tell me I was a piece of meat, but to not offer me money told me that I wasn’t worth paying for and I should give it away like (they think) all ‘free’ Western white women do.
I went away from that conversation with another piece chipped off my tiny block of female self-confidence and then added to the growing pile of evidence of male yuck.
Why I’d Rather Deal With Women
If we remove from the population all those men and women with unfixable and publicly dangerous mental health problems such as personality disorders (psychopaths and narcissistic personality disordered individuals, specifically), I can easily make the blanket statement that I’d rather deal with women exclusively in all areas of life. I’d even go so far as to say that my life would improve immeasurably, and I wouldn’t shed a single tear, if I never saw another male – adult or child – ever again in my life. Just thinking about it fills me with this wistfulness, this longing, this impression of wings unfurling and endless possibilities and freedom. And then I remember that it’s an impossible dream, and I sink back into the cocoon I call ‘survival mode’ that is what awakened feminists must live in, daily.
I’m sure many people have their backs up, their knickers in a twist, and knives sharpened at what I’ve just intimated. Defensive retorts after a split second of recognition on the lips of women. Threats of violence, misogynist slurs, and haughty, mansplanatory rationalizations in the minds of men. I see you all.
But I don’t care. My fantasy world without men is a safe world. A good world. A sane world. A healthy world. In my fantasy, it is that way. If it were to become reality, I have no doubt it would indeed be safe, good, sane and healthy. Because this fantasy is borne of 43 years of experience of the violence, fear, hurt, damage, threats, filth, disrespect, insanity, cruelty, coldness, incomprehensibility, greed, pride, othering, dehumanizing, and death, death, death that is the male gift to the world. No amount of rationalizing or lies or rare exceptions provided by men or the women who support them in serious denial can controvert thousands of years of evidence, nevermind the evidence of one 43-year-long life.
Again, removing the most dangerous of men and women and looking at the average person, I can say the following confidently. Dealing with the average woman is much different – and better – than dealing with the average man.
The absolute, most important difference between dealing with men and dealing with women is safety. I don’t feel safe with strange men, but I also don’t feel safe with men I know. Anything can and does happen. Betrayal can happen in the blink of an eye depending on how his dick feels that day, how he interprets your non-verbals in relation to his ‘needs’, or how threatened he is by your intelligence, talent, attitude or confidence. Any of these variables can lead to his violence against you. I’ve never felt unsafe with a woman, stranger or known. Men can’t understand this feeling of unsafeness. Men don’t look over their shoulders. Men don’t evaluate options or potential outcomes for travel or just getting from Point A to Point B prior to setting out. Men don’t worry about having their identities or home locations known. Men don’t worry about friendships with women or what it means to accept help from them, whether there is an unspoken or unacceptable price to pay down the line. I’d rather a female delivery person or electrician enter my home than a male. I’d rather have a meeting with a female client than a male. Safety issues touch every aspect of your life. And women are safer to deal with.
Men make everything filthy and dehumanizing. This is, of course, tied to safety – with men, sex and violence cannot be separated. I can contemplate any neutral scenario or even a potentially sexual scenario, and as soon as I imagine a man entering that scenario, it is ruined. I have an automatic pulse of revulsion, of anger, of fear. They sexualize everything, including the unsexual or neutral. And in a potentially sexual situation, the way they sexualize is degrading, humiliating, unequal, and can make you feel dirty. Their presence automatically imposes hierarchy on a situation where no hierarchy exists. If it is a discussion, the entrance of a man changes the dynamic for the worse. He becomes the sun around which everyone orbits. If I think about a roomful of women in a state of undress, it doesn’t have to be sexual at all. Just human. Functional. Natural. It could be sexual – but in a clean, joyous, equal way. I think this is how sex would be between women living without the taint of Patriarchy ‘dirtifying’ everything. As it is, I think many lesbians look for ‘dirty sex’ and that is a marker of Patriarchal conditioning. But anyways, the thought of a man entering any kind of dynamic makes it filthy for me. I’m still trying to analyze this in a way that I can express, but it first struck me tangibly that I felt that way when I was about 30 and still trying to hold onto the idea that men were at least part of my sexual landscape. It’s material for another post.
Women don’t impose insanity or irrationality upon situations. Perhaps it’s because women have natural (yes, I said it – natural!) tendencies to listen, empathize, sympathize, relate and cooperate, but negotiations with a woman (who doesn’t fit into the mental illness categories described above) seldom become ridiculous. It’s actually very easy to develop consensus with women or to work together on a project when the taint of Patriarchy is as absent as possible. With men, on the other hand, things can be crazy. Dominance is always present. There is always a power-play, and the less you wish to be dominated, the more insane, irrational (and violent) a situation with a man can become. Men don’t cooperate – they dominate. If they can’t dominate, they get violent one way or another, and often will abandon or sabotage a project if they don’t get their own way.
Women are concerned with health. I like dealing with women because they think about health in a different way. Men don’t think about health because the women in their lives do it for them. Women will talk about health and problems and how they are related and will share information. I think this is a remnant from older times when wise women and healers and those of their persuasion had some prominence. When men took over (and by took over, I mean discredited and often tortured and killed these women) the health realm, they turned it into a business. It became another field in which to dominate women, and a new realm for greed, profit, sadistic experimentation (power) and prominence/fame. Although I’ve worked in health policy, health research, and worked extensively with and for doctors, I find the whole world revolting and frightening. I truly think there is an opportunity for women to take it back and return to the old ways.
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Our world is currently one where dealing exclusively and authentically with women is roadblocked by men in multiple ways. The effects of this have been serious. With men in the way, we have lost our safety, our purity (not to be confused with the religious bullshit concept of purity), our sanity, and our health. If only fantasy could become reality.
Story Ending Never 
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