Category Archives: Love = Hate
L is for Love
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
It’s a thin line between love and hate…
from the 1971 song of the same name by The Persuaders
Now, it’s a funny thing. This song was written by a couple of dudes and one of their complicit females warning other dudes that women can be crazy bitches. The gist is that women are happy to be used by men because that’s what women were designed for – but only up to a certain unknown point. And if you manage to reach your woman’s limit, watch out! She might maim or even kill you! This is a tired variation on the ‘hell hath no fury as a woman scorned’ theme. And most men and many women believe this stereotype to be true. But the reality is that women seldom, if ever, take revenge upon men, even if revenge is the least that men deserve after committing relationship atrocities. If women take any action in an abusive relationship, it is most often just fleeing – with a suitcase, if she’s lucky. See the craziest thing that women actually do is not taking revenge upon men, but bothering to get involved with them at all.
The song title, in actuality, is a much more appropriate description of the male approach to relationships with women, but with one major difference. Males don’t need to be abused or even have any kind of real excuse to snap and get violent. So often their love is violence of one sort or another. All women know this on some level as we are all told as girls that boys show us that they like us by antagonizing us or hitting us. But there is this expectation that they will somehow grow out of it – maybe after death – and besides there is a good one out there somewhere, right? So, women end up accepting that male love can look a lot like hate, and an expression of male love can turn into an expression of hate as if at the flip of a switch. Male emotionality is shallow, but intense and volatile. Let’s just say that male love is to human emotion as azidoazide azide is to chemistry. Personally, I think that ‘crazy bitch’ is a much more apt description of a man. And PMS actually stands for Permanent Man Syndrome. You see, Man, not Woman, is the wildly unpredictable, violently hormonal, nutjob breeding machine. And it isn’t monthly and temporary, but constant and forever. And in my tradition of mutating scrote-quotes, I say “Hell hath no fury as a man in love.”
Anyhow, despite the beginnings of this post, my purpose here is not to scratch the surface of heterosexual dynamics to reveal in shock and horror the countless examples of how men express their love for women. I have a whole Love=Hate series for what men do inside and outside relationships with women. And to be honest, straight woman problems are not only completely preventable, but their repetitiveness is boring as is women’s insistence on going back for more and more. I’m sick of hearing about them, and likely, some of you are as well. I think it’s very easy to become psychologically addicted to suffering – living it, complaining about it, reading about it, and ultimately doing nothing about it because pain has become your constant companion and what would you ever do without it? But that is a different, although related, topic, which I won’t get into today.
What I want to talk about is why humanity seems to be obsessed with love and pretending it is something other than it really is. It is treated as though it is the reason for our existence, and it seems to be much more of a distraction than even happiness or scheming to get rich. Why do I say this? Well, look at what passes for entertainment in the human world. There are more novels, songs, poems, fairy tales, artwork, and films about love than about any other topic. And of course, the bulk of this entertainment is created by males. But while it is superficially aimed at women and girls, everything is ultimately designed to serve males. I remember back when I was a teenager when it struck me for the first time as I was watching television that I was not actually the intended audience, and the messaging was not intended to lift me up as a female. I gradually came to realize that all creative material was that way – mostly designed by men for the male gaze and the male brain, but also designed to distract and brainwash women consuming the content. None of this entertainment, including television, is supposed to be analyzed from a female, let alone feminist, perspective. Even analysis of literature and poetry seldom gets feminist critique, and in this way, deeply misogynistic work, even if it is pretending to be empowering to women, can still get two thumbs up and win literary awards. Love ends up being defined by men, but obsessed over by women, even though men and women experience love fundamentally differently. I find that so many of our vaunted love stories would be more aptly categorized as ‘hate stories’. Yet women embrace them, and men profit from them.
Despite love being the central theme in entertainment, and thus making us believe that love is the most important thing in life, you need only to look at works of non-fiction to see what men really believe in. I’m going to borrow from the American experience to illustrate this, because as leaders of the so-called Free World who fought so hard for their liberation, what they say matters and often guides fledgling democracies. And besides, after dictatorships, no country does sloganeering and propaganda like the US.
If you go back to American beginnings, men define what is important in their Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. This is the foundational American slogan, and men still quote it today when outlining their rights as men and as Americans. Note that there is no love there. It’s not important. The inclusion of ‘the pursuit of hapiness’ was actually a replacement for the right to own ‘property’, which Jefferson did out of respect for black Americans (although remember that men could still legally own women), and is thought to have little meaning other than a subjective one. Male happiness could include drinking whiskey with abandon in a saloon, raping a prostitute and then going home and raping his wife, or killing animals for sport. And all of these could technically fit the definition of male love as well, I suppose, as vice, violence, glee and love seem to get twisted in the male mind. Women weren’t included in these important life elements – property, by definition, has no life, no freedom, and may not define their own happiness – but we know that males have always defined female love as sacrifice, devotion, loyalty, service, and suffering in silence. These are the themes of love stories, the propaganda men design to define female existence.
I leave you with this question and my opinion. If women, and I mean female separatists, of course, were ever to write their own declaration of independence, would they include ‘love’ in the list of rights? I think not, and I’ll tell you why. Under patriarchy, love is a tool of manipulation designed to keep women in line, distracted, focused on fantasy and hoping, and constantly feeling off-balance and insecure. Only patriarchal women cling to the pursuit of love and obsess over it, puzzling over the fact that expressions of male and female love look very different. Outside of patriarchy, I think love would be an outcome of female freedom, not a pursuit. Without men in the picture, love would not need to be listed in the rights and demands of women because it would just exist outside of context and wouldn’t be a bargaining chip used in power plays. I think relationships would look very different, as would artistic expression. And it certainly wouldn’t have any connection with violence.
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L is for Lost Post – K is for Kitten
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
A long, long time ago,
from Phenomenal Cat, by the Kinks
In the land of idiot boys,
There lived a cat, a phenomenal cat,
Who loved to wallow all day.
Happy Belated International Cat Day ♥ 🐾 ♥
The following is dedicated to my own phenomenal kitten who has just reached her first birthday. Although she is entering adulthood, she’ll always be my kitten. We’re a good match. Like me, her adoptive mother, she is a militant atheist and fierce female separatist. She is the right combination of zen and wild. She loves to wallow, and to pretend to bite my computer cables to catch my attention. She cuddles for short, but intense sessions, and attacks my sock-covered hand with the skill of a true hunter. Every morning around 4:00 am, she gifts me with a thorough facial dermabrasion, and she rides along on my shoulders as I prepare my morning coffee. As you may have guessed, I love the little nugget.
If you’re a fellow cat lover, have a browse through the Kitten Chronicles on my YouTube channel, where I feature select moments in time in the life of my little furball. For now, join me on a bit of a self-indulgent post celebrating K is for Kittens where I explore the link between cats and women, and why the connection has mostly been, in the eyes of men, a negative one.
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The Roots
Men have a tendency both to dehumanize the human, and to anthropomorphize the non-human, so it’s no surprise that they have fabricated stories of strange relationships between women and various animals and to equate women with animals, body parts, tools and objects with great success. This is partly due to male fear of a more complete human, and partly rooted in the magical thinking of long-gone primitive cultures that were animistic or that connected their gods with animals. It is possible that women were slightly – emphasis on the slightly – more respected in ancient times. We have evidence of female deities with animal attributes, of course, which is in contrast to modern monotheistic, phallocentric religions where women are both the source of all evil and the unremarkable vessels for men’s seed. But in no culture have women either been free of men and their control and violence or even just on par with them. Strangely, there are always efforts made to try to prove that conquered or diminished cultures of the past, especially animistic cultures, such as various Native American tribes and the insular Celts of the British Isles, somehow managed to achieve ‘equality’ or harmony between the sexes. Modern fantasists, especially women, for some reason, tell made-up stories of sex equality and lady power in these cultures without a shred of proof to back them up and sometimes even in the face of evidence to the contrary. I think this is mostly done to establish a false narrative ‘proving’ that males were once better people, so therefore they can be better again. In that way, men and boys are protected from getting what they deserve when they commit crimes against women and girls, and the onus is put on women to accept, forgive and save men thereby keeping women’s focus and energy away from themselves and maintaining the system of their own oppression.
What is actually more logical and believable, and in many cases proveable, than this fantasy version of the past is that men have dehumanized women since human time began. There has never been an equal or free society for women. And rather than the dehumanizing abating with increased human education and enlightenment, it has only gotten worse and more normalized because of phallocentric and monotheistic religion, general androcentrism, overpopulation, and more recently, access to communications technology and the proliferation of pornography and other media promoting woman hate under the guise of male entertainment. And as alluded to above, men have dehumanized women in a number of ways, including reducing them to their body parts (cunt, pair of tits, or piece of ass), rerferring to them as male-constructed archetypes (slut, whore, hag, or ice queen), and likening them to animals (cow, bitch, sow, filly or cat).
So let’s talk pussy.
Exactly when men started connecting cats with women, we are not sure, but their thinking, deep as it usually is, seemed to go something like this: “Um, cats have lots of babies. Women have lots of babies. So they are similar. Oh, yeah, and um, cats like to hang out in the house. And women hang out in the house. Holy shit. Cats and women are like totally the same!” And lo and behold, the cat-lady-goddess was born to various ancient cultures, and predominated over – you guessed it – fertility, beauty, motherhood, and children.
Some of the earliest evidence of the cat-lady-goddess comes from Ancient Egypt, but these chicks were a little more powerful and rounded out than the simple incarnation in later cultures. The goddesses Mafdet, Sekhmet and Bastet were all depicted with feline heads atop women’s bodies. They were all fierce protectors; Mafdet was the early goddess of justice and execution and had the head of a cheetah; Sekhmet, with the head of a lionness, oversaw war and medicine; and later, Bastet, with a domesticated cat head, represented the home, fertility, childbirth, and joy. Cats were highly respected in Ancient Egyptian culture, and were believed to have magical powers, to be lucky, and to be very clever. They were often painted, seated under the chairs of women, and were considered to be fertile creatures, and thus, the natural companions of women. Ancient Egyptian women certainly had more freedom and power than women in other regions and cultures at the time, although there was by no means anything resembling respect, equality or freedom from male violence. But the cat-female-human link was established in a more positive way then than in any other time in history, including now.
In other religious traditions that included female gods, there continued to be links between cats and love, fertility, children, motherhood, cleverness, and hunting. Freyja, the Norse goddess of love, beauty, fertility, sex and war, rides a chariot pulled by two cats. Shashti, the Hindu goddess and devourer-turned-protector of children is depicted riding a cat. In Chinese mythology, Li Shou (Lí Shǒu, 黎手) was a cat goddess. Interestingly, the ancient Chinese believed that cats were orginally nominated by the gods to rule the world, but it turned out they liked playing and wallowing more. They gave up their power to human males, and while they lost their power of speech, they became the timekeepers of the world. We see the sun’s movement reflected in their eyes and hear the movement of time in their purr.
Things Get Dark
One theme that was common in many later cultures was the linking of cats with magic and with the underworld. It can get a little confusing to understand the true feelings people and cultures had towards them as they didn’t usually keep written records, but it reminds me of the place that women have held in all societies – sort of a mixed awe and fear that usually ends up manifesting in ‘want you, but hate you’ relationships. The Celts were a prime example of this. They believed that cats were guardians of the underworld and some believed that they were humans forced to return to the world after death following misdeeds in life. Some believed that they could take souls, and they were the companions of wise women who later came to be known as witches, which provided fuel for the brutal Christian persecution of women in Europe and the US. Despite what Celtophiles say, Celtic society was not woman-loving or equal. While some tribes may have had female warriors, slavery was rampant, and the cumal or ‘female slave’ was a prized unit of currency. Men were allowed to kill their wives and women were often passed around for sexual use in families. So we had a culture that held cats in suspicious semi-respect and that saw women as things to be used and disposed of. This provided ample fodder for the primitive Christian brain as it swallowed up the Celts of Europe during the expansion of the Roman Empire.
As parasitical Christians proliferated and absorbed Celtic beliefs and values, things got really fucked up for both cats and women. The early Romans had a utilitarian view of cats and they were brought along with invading armies to keep rat populations under control. But superstitious Christian thinking held them in suspicion. Exposure to the Celtic linking of cats with the underworld inspired more magical thinking and suddenly cats were dancing with the devil, and female practitioners of Celtic religions were communing with Satan and were able to shape-shift among other things. The old addage about cats having nine lives actually refers to the belief that witches could shape-shift into cat form nine times.
The idea was cemented in writing by power-hungry Pope Gregory IX in his papal bull of 1233, Vox in Rama, addressing so-called Satanism, the catch-all label for all religions ‘not Catholic’. The 12th to 17th centuries in Europe was one of the most backward, ignorant and testerical periods in European history. Paranoia leading to inquisition, torture, and murder in the name of religion was the norm at that time, and Pope Gregory was reponsible for kicking things into high gear. He even waged an informal war on cats, which led to the torture and killing of many of them, and put cats permanently in the dog house in the minds of Christians. Some argue that the killing of so many cats was the part of the reason that 30-50% of the European population died from bubonic plague in the 14th century. To this day, devout Christians tend not to like cats. A 2019 American study, for example, found a strong, negative relationship between church-going and cat ownership. Christians tend to like dogs, and I think it is for the same reason that men, in general, prefer dogs – I’ll get into that later.
This dark period was also a war on women – athough one could argue that women have always been under attack in this world for one thing or another. A woman didn’t really have to do much to bring the male boot down on her neck, and often it was other women making the accusations, likely in an attempt to garner male approval. It’s interesting. Of the articles discussing the persecution of witches, some say that it was about attacking the powerless and the others say it was about attacking powerful women. I’ll try to clarify because I think the incongruence is just a matter of language. First, there has never been such a thing as a powerful woman in the sense that men have power. Females have always been and still are a class of sub-humans, and they never have and still don’t have the resources to fight back. But these supposed witches weren’t powerful women; they were just women who didn’t follow the rules in some way, or were just convenient, powerless scapegoats. When women don’t fall in line, men get scared. And when men get scared, women get killed or erased in some way. And the killing of women serves the ultimate purpose of stamping out any further inclination towards rebellion in all remaining women.
Skipping Ahead
The negative link between women and cats persists today, although religious paranoia about the supernatural isn’t really a factor anymore. Rather, cats are seen as aloof or disobedient and weak or laughable for some reason. We still use the term ‘cat fight’ to refer to a pathetic style of fighting that is supposedly engaged in between women and that involves scratching and yowling, as opposed to the more manly punching. We also have constant references to the ‘crazy cat lady’ archetype, which describes a pitiable, lonely, older woman who collects cats – the implication being that women who choose not to live with men are pathetic and crazy. And there is a derogatory connection drawn between lesbians and cats – perhaps this is a throw-back to religious magical thinking.
What It’s Really About
I can tell you first off that once I committed myself to female separatism, the only animal I ever considered adopting was a cat. And I’m saying that as a person who grew up only with dogs. Further, after adopting my kitten last year, I realized how much I was missing in my life, and I feel a whole hell of a lot saner having her around.
What is really going on is that men love things they can control. Dogs, although I love them dearly, are highly trainable and highly dependent. What is called loyalty by men isn’t actually loyalty, but obedience. Patriarchal women, specifically, and heterosexual women more generally, are actually more like dogs in the eyes of men, slaving for them and craving crumbs of man-love when they do a good job serving them. Cats are social and loving animals, but they are fiercely independent. They aren’t very trainable to the whims of humans, but still manage to find food and shit in appropriate places without human guidance. On the whole, this doesn’t boost a man’s ego, so of course, men denigrate them. Likewise with independent women, especially separatists and lesbians. Women who don’t bend to a man’s will are dismissed as crazy, losers, or just plain stupid and weak. In this way, you can see why devout Christians might not like cats – obedience is key to their way of living. And I’ve met women in the military and women with large broods of children who absolutely hate cats as well. Ditto with the respect for obedience.
So it’s not actually about any real similarities between cats and women because honestly, there aren’t that many, and men will call you a ‘bitch’ one minute and a ‘crazy cat lady’ the next. This is all about control and obedience. And I can’t imagine any woman who truly understands the value of freedom, especially female freedom, who wouldn’t appreciate a kitten or two in her life. ♥ 🐾 ♥
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When A 5-Year-Old Boy Creeps You Out
Yeah, I know. I disappeared for a while. I’m not gone. It has just been a shitty past half year. Things that should normally be good have ended up being strangely stressful. Perhaps, I’ll get into it at some point. Perhaps not.
For now, it’s just a short post to check in, wish you all a better 2023, and lay some male creepiness on you. Um, sorry? I do have several things in the queue, but I couldn’t resist sharing an experience concerning a very young male that was strange and a little disturbing. I’ll admit that in the past couple of years, I’ve been morbidly fascinated by people’s willing ignorance about little boys and by the shit the boys themselves pull even at a very young age. I’ve written about innocence before, although not specifically addressing boys. I don’t find innocence to be a useful concept. I’m not religious and I don’t like how the concept is used and abused by males and brainwashed females to lift up males and destroy females. Having said that, I don’t believe any male is truly innocent or even born innocent. Males are born weaponized (nature) and then through the system they have created and that women haven’t fought hard enough against, their destructive natures blossom and wreak havoc (nurture).
Background
So, I managed to get a low-paying online EFL teaching gig, and it is a massive source of stress. But it is money, right? I am good at it, and I get some satisfaction from it, but I’ll admit, I wouldn’t be unhappy if I never had to teach again. Too much time and energy and too little pay.
So one of my students is a 5-year-old boy. His English is pretty decent for his age. When his father sits in on the class and helps out, the kid behaves, but lately, Grandma has been supervising. All hell breaks loose. Yesterday, we had an especially shitty class, and the boy didn’t like how I handled his brand of noncompliance. I probably don’t react how the other females in his life do. As I’ve mentioned before, males thrive on antagonism of women and girls and their eventual submission. It’s a game to them. Cat and mouse. Predator and prey. Yeah, I don’t respond ‘correctly’ to that kind of shit. With older males, my behaviour ’causes’ males to make death threats. With the young ones? Well, you be the judge.
After the class, the boy started sending me text messages through the teaching app. It was bizarre and disturbing and not something I would have ever expected from a 5-year-old – until I did a reality check. I know better, as do all females deep down. The attempt to dominate through threats, violence and squishy emotional manipulation starts very, very young. It must live in their DNA and become triggered by the male-female dynamics they witness in day-to-day life. Here is the set of comments he sent. I can’t make this shit up. And by the way, I didn’t respond. Not sure if there is a point to telling the parents. Breeders tend to gaslight and then protect their little angels. And the lifetime of defending their behaviour begins. I didn’t change anything in the text other than to remove identifying information. Note the insults, the threat of violence and then the fake remorse – a pattern we see in males across time and place. It’s the rule, not an exception.
I’m posting this in the Conversations with Men series.
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H is for Hate
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Holy hell, time flies when you’re not having fun! I swear, I didn’t mean for nearly 2 months to go by before writing another post. I had a topic chosen and everything. Really! But I find time is moving strangely during this neverending pandemic. Likely, many of you are discovering strange feelings and experiences are entering your small viral bubble world, and you probably feel you don’t have much control over…, well, much at all. You are not alone, even if you feel you are.
But while later than planned, I am here now with the next post in the Alphabet Series.
H is for Hate
I was going to choose helplessness at first, and it is probably a good post topic for another time, but I was inspired by a post I read back at the end of March, written by a more mainstream, academic type of ‘feminist’ on the topic of whether hate crimes and hate speech apply to women as a class, and who decided by the end of her post that while women experience sex-based issues (she seemed almost loathe to call what women experience ‘hate’), the legal system is not the way to deal with it. The legal system works for all the other hates, but it would just create more problems for women (or more likely, she meant for men) than it could even begin to solve. And we can figure out why this might be true – a) crimes and ‘lesser’ harms done to women are constant, committed by most (if not all) males, and against most (if not all) females. I mean, seriously, every single male would go to jail for some period of time in his life if we actually had justice for women and girls. And let’s face it, there would be a shit ton of brainwashed fembots out there protesting holding men accountable for their crimes against women… But it tickles me to imagine males actually justifiably (i.e., being held accountable) living with a fraction of the fear that females unfairly (i.e., simply being born female) live with. And secondly, b) most women ‘consent’ to fucked up, convoluted and demeaning relationships with males. It is impossible to police woman-hate when women seem, on the surface, to say yes to so much of what is done to them.
Now, did this mainstreamer suggest what might work? No, of course not! She works for a university and is a white woman (a dangerous status today), so taking anything other than a milquetoast stance on women’s issues isn’t possible in this age of group-selective Western censorship. There was the obligatory hint that education might be the way to go… And I think it was at this point that I realized that my topic was going to be Hate, specifically woman-hate. You just CANNOT educate males out of raping, out of their innate violent natures, out of doing everything possible to make sure that females lose in every aspect of life and in every corner of the world. Myself, I am a nature-AND-nurture theorist when it comes to human problems, and I believe that to choose either one alone to explain our human world is just plain silly, and even ignorant. But, I regularly read different kinds of self-proclaimed ‘feminists’ who do take these irrational essentialist stances for several reasons, only one of which seems to be that I end up with plenty of stuff to write about. And if you’re wondering about the woman in question, I won’t name her as she is fairly typical of most liberal-leaning feminists out there, although more educated and articulate than the average one, and besides, I don’t believe in publicly shitting on women unless they are doing something really evil and need to be taken down. And even then, I am decidedly not an activist, but rather a writer and navel-gazer and educator. I write to add a perspective, rather than to try, futilely, to change the world.
But back to hell. I mean Hate. There was a nice assortment of h-words I could have chosen for this post. Like I said, helplessness was a tempting choice and you may see it in the future. As well, H is for honesty, hope, hetero/homosexuality, housewifery (definitely want to write about that sometime), homelessness, his/herstory, harmony (key concepts in places like China, but also with the Cult of Positivity crowd — “Why can’t we all just get along, waaaah…?!!?”), and harm. And there are tons more.
Now, if you’ve read further on this blog, you’ll possibly be aware that I already have an ongoing series called Love = Hate. Hate, in general, is a massive topic. It is the prime current (coupled with greed) that runs through and guides the course of all male-dominated societies (basically, every society on earth since the beginning of time), but that is often called love, justice, fear, retribution, morality, the natural order – everything but hate. But as this is a woman-centric blog, my focus is on woman-hate or misogyny. So I’ll stick this post in there in addition to here in the Alphabet Series.
My plan here is to address a couple of the thoughts I came across in the article on hate, or rather non-hate, where it concerns women. And I’ll try to reach a conclusion or at least a suggestion, where the other author couldn’t bother.
Domestic Violence Ruins Progress on Woman-Hate Issues
I’m going to re-word this as I certainly don’t think women deserve violence from males. Ever. But I do take issue with female’s willing ignorance when it comes to putting trust in males. We are swimming in evidence that males hurt females constantly, and that proximity to males vastly increases the probability that a woman or girl will be raped, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, and/or killed. We know that at least 25% of hetero-partnered women experience severe physical violence at the hands of their loving male partner. But despite knowing this, mothers still groom their daughters for heterosexuality and for relationships where although they will probably live an economically better life and be vastly more protected from other males than women who don’t partner with men, they will have to endure some form of misogyny, including manipulative and consensual rape, in exchange. This is the heterosexual contract, and we all know this in our lizard brains, even if we refuse to acknowledge or accept it. In the situation where domestic violence happens and a woman manages to escape it, many will still jump back in the dating pool with this delusion that there is a ‘good one’ out there waiting for her. It is pure insanity, especially in places where women can freely choose to support themselves financially instead of being forced to exchange rape for a home and food. But it is a psychologically complex issue. And even in more progressive places, it hasn’t been all that long for women to have had this choice. Change in thinking takes time especially when traditional thinking and behaviour are always more rewarded.
So, if you boil it down to a single basic truth, heterosexuality is the problem. Go with males, and you are asking for trouble, and will ensure that the system never changes for ALL women and girls. So I’ll reword my header of his section to “heterosexuality ruins progress on woman-hate issues”. Until women reject heterosexual relationships with males, progress on addressing actual hate crimes against women, which I would argue MUST, for the time being, exclude crimes committed within a consensual relationship, will go nowhere. The fact that women consent to male abuse (and this is learned at an early age due to grooming for abuse by mothers, fathers, entertainment, schools, social institutions, etc) is the number one roadblock in sussing out what is going on in any reported hate crime against a female. If you look at all other groups who experience hate crimes, not a one of them is groomed from birth to consent to abuse from or seek abusive sexual relationships with members of oppressive groups. It is because of this that I believe that heterosexuality is morally wrong, irrational from a female perspective, unnecessary for human existence and the continuance of the species, anti-progress, intellectually, for the human species, and inherently violent and destructive to over half the population of the world. And of course, as I’ve said many times before, no one is born heterosexual, so this is a circumstance that absolutely doesn’t need to exist. If we stopped forcing girls into heterosexuality, male violence wouldn’t be the guiding force of human existence. But of course, preventing this is another matter altogether and adult females would fight tooth and nail against stopping the harm of their daughters, likely on the basis that isn’t fair to deny pussy to males.
Woman-Hate Isn’t Really ‘Hate’
One point the author danced around is the idea that all of the currently protected groups under hate crime legislation experience real hate whereas women experience, not hate, but the effects of male entitlement. The reasoning is this. The motivation for persecuting racial or religious groups (and even gays/lesbians) is to eradicate them, whereas males see a use for females, so don’t want them dead, but rather, subservient. So, I call bullshit here. In the history of the world, more women have died at the hands of males than specific racial or religious groups have at the hands of their oppressors. Currently, more women and girls die each week because of men and because they are female, than all persecuted groups combined in any given week. The woman writing is British, so if you look at how many non-whites are killed by whites due to racism in the UK every week, I think there is no comparison with femicide. And I think we’d find the same situation if comparing the prevalence of other lesser hate crimes, such as harassment. There have been what I’ll call ‘episodes’ or blips on the long timeline of human existence, where one group has tried to eradicate another group. There is nothing close to the comparitively short Nazi eugenics program for Jews today – in fact, they are generally, a very wealthy and powerful group now, and frequently show themselves to be effective oppressors of other groups, including women and children. My other favourite go-to oppressed group, American blacks were never targets for eradication. They were seen as a resource to be used and abused – kind of like how men have used women in the past and still do today. So the definition of hate as the desire to obliterate in total doesn’t work. Not all accepted hate targets are targets for elimination, and on the flip side, many males actually do want women to die.
I’d also argue, as I have in several past posts, that most, if not all, oppressions stem from woman hate, the reasoning being that males covet the vaginas and uteri of the females of their tribe, and any group (racial, ethnic or religious) that threatens these possessions and the bloodlines of their group are attacked. So males don’t want males from other groups raping or stealing their women and knocking them up, so they do what they can to take away the power of those ‘others’. So all racism is based in misogyny. Pretty simple to understand. With gays and lesbians, it is still woman-hate that fuels homophobia. Men are supposed to rape and possess women (instead of being penetrated like a woman), so gay dudes are a problem. Women are supposed to be raped and possessed by males, so lesbians are a problem as they are way too goddamned free and how dare they reject those who are superior to them? So how can groups that are persecuted on the basis of woman hate experience legitimate hate, while women are not truly hated?
Solutions?
Now, I agree with the author when she says that the legal system does not solve societal problems. The legal system was designed by men, for men. I think it can help racial groups and any group with males in it. And given what has happened, legally, to validate the trans, we know that male trannies are still male, no matter what the hell they’re wearing or what is going on in their Y-chromosome-filled brains. And it is for this reason that the law will not end problems specific to women. Women are not men, so the system doesn’t work for them. Males cannot conceive of being held universally accountable for their actions, even though they may throw a paltry few under the bus to keep up the appearance of ‘justice’.
But if you don’t advocate for the legal rights for women, and your only suggestion is education, which hasn’t produced any results in the millennia that women have been pleading with, and reasoning with, and educating males not to hurt them, then what hope is there?
Well, personally, I don’t think anything is going to change for women until they reject heterosexuality en masse, and that is NEVER going to happen. So my solutions are based on pure fantasy, meaning that they will never happen in the West or any place that pays lip service to human rights. Males would never allow women to take their power away, and there are too many handmaidens working against female liberation, human rights and dignity already to ever achieve a critical female opposition to changing the legal or social systems.
I don’t believe in system change, as I said, so any solution I would ever come up with would be grass roots or individually- or small-underground-group-run. I do, personally, like the idea of vigilantes working on behalf of wronged women. In Canada, our native people’s have some legal traditions for dealing with conflict in their communities, so why can’t women go further and develop their own justice system to deal with sex-based crimes? In my opinion, if a system doesn’t work for women, then they are justified in taking matters into their own hands. Males have done this many times in the past. Why can’t women? It can be organized, or it can operate more on a vigilante or extra-system level.
The Gulabi Gang founded by Sampat Pal in India is one of my favourite women’s vigilante groups. It started out very grassroots and individual – an single woman’s natural and justified response to a situation involving an abusive husband, and it has grown into a network of over 400,000 women. Women supporting women, armed with sticks and chasing down and beating the shit out of rapists. Not only would that never be allowed in the West, but I can’t even imagine Western women getting their thinking past the utter unfairness to men of giving them a taste of their own medicine. As an update, sadly, I found out that some of the Gang took issue with Sampat Pal over how she was running things, and turned on her, beating her with the very sticks meant for men, and she eventually got kicked out of her own organization. I think back to what I said in my last G post about women needing a few generations to heal before they could ever create their own high-functioning, woman-centric society.
Oh, and one last note, as no doubt someone is wondering why I haven’t talked about ‘misandry’, which is the current whiny accusation of Western males in response to feminism. Misandry – unjustified and pathological hatred of men – isn’t a thing. Males are oppressors and hate women reflexively for no rational reason. When women hate males, it is in response to the oppression and violence done by said males. It is therefore justified, not illogical or pathological or bigotry. This purported prejudice against males that is gaining traction in both testerical incel and liberal circles as something that must be addressed because of the increasing number of ‘poor suffering males’ doesn’t exist. The lies men tell are flimsy, but widely believed, and I’ll address this in my L is for Lies post. We all seem to like to believe males’ crocodile tears. But never fear, males are still on top, doing whatever the fuck they want, and they laugh, if they even notice at all, as women and girls suffer.
Again, this is part of the Alphabet Series as well as the Love = Hate Series
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Creating To Hate: The Making of the Bitch and the Whore
Whoever said that men weren’t creative beings? Well, they are. In a way. They’re creative in much the same way that they are capable of love. It is very different from how women love. Men love beer, or cars, or evolutionary biology, or vindictive deities, or women in pretty much the same way – without nuance. The ‘love’ is shallow, but intense, and is both self-oriented and self-serving. Men don’t love as a selfless act or in a way that helps someone (or something) other than themselves. Men love beer because it dulls existential pain, might be pleasurable on the tongue, and gives them a way of shirking rape charges in the rare case that a woman is stupid enough to speak truth about her violation in public. In the same way, when men love people, it is because the object of love serves them in some way. He isn’t selflessly giving himself to the person, he is telling us that he has use for her. “I love you” means: “Currently, I am getting some use and pleasure from you. And that may change tomorrow if you fail to please me in some way.” The object is always replaceable, and if not replaced, the man in question usually falters in some significant way. Men who lose a long-term wife-slave seldom live very long after her death. The same is not true of women as male love is not about taking care of women in the ways that matter. Women usually find their freedom after spousal death. But that is male love. It is self-serving and highly conditional upon the love-object delivering what is expected and making no demands in return. And often, in men, love lies on the knife blade’s edge with their hatred, and sometimes, they are completely indistinguishable. Love often resembles hate just as male-defined sex is practically indistinguishable from rape. And so, a man can emotionally abuse, rape and beat a woman and call it love. And an emotional apology to her afterwards coupled with the word ‘love’ will always win a woman over because she understands emotion and tears and apologies and gifts. For her that is love – the giving. For a man though, he is afraid of losing his object, and will do and say anything to avoid losing his power.
The creative drive in men is similar. Men create for several reasons – all of them self-serving. Men create to consume. They create to gain power and money. They create to gain envy and admiration. They create to satisfy various fantasies (all of which are destructive to the object being used). Underlying much of this is a fundamental truth: they create objects to hate and to direct their rage at.
And so we have Woman.
Now I’ve written in the past that we have never known what a natural woman is. I’ve discussed the interaction of nature and nurture and how they affect males and females differently (here) and how we can tell what is natural and unnatural behaviour (here). I believe that not only are men solely allowed to be natural creatures, but that females – or Woman – is a completely constructed being. She is the crowning glory of men’s creative output. She changes over time and across cultures to reflect what men believe their rights (also what they call their ‘needs’) to be. But, the common theme across time and place has always been that Woman is a fuckhole (or series of fuckholes) and a baby-factory. She is forced to be dependent on men for survival, while at the same time is threatened by these very same men. She lives in a continuous, boner-producing loop of fear of and love for her oppressor (aka Stockholm Syndrome). She is his biggest fan and greatest defender, even as she cowers from him and fears the constant threat his existence signifies to her. Woman exhibits a highly unnatural set of behaviours all designed to suit male purposes (domination, quelling feelings of inadequacy, sado-sexual pleasure, material for comedy, etc).
But all artists tend to have a current of self-loathing running through them. It fuels them by producing angst – and the creative drive. And Woman, as a male creation, serves another important purpose for him. She is the ultimate object of his hate. He has created something to use, something that is the exact opposite of what he feels he himself is, and in doing so, he creates something to loathe. He loves what he has created in the way that he is capable of love as I described above, but the angst-ridden artist can never achieve perfection – actual women can never meet his expectation of perfection – so he ends up hating his creation. He creates something to ‘love’ (use), but it is also something to hate and continually mock and try to destroy. She allows him to avoid directly destroying himself, although by destroying Woman, is actually is destroying everything, including himself.
I talk about female slurs more in depth in another post, but I’ll briefly mention them here as they are also the main archetypes that males love to hate. I’m referring to the Bitch and the Whore.
The Bitch was initially a dehumanizing reference to Woman’s forced role as a breeding dog. Men denied her entrance to almost every other possible role in society. It’s what he wanted and needed to assert his dominance, and he also hated her for it. Imagine putting a bird in a cage, denying it access to the sky, and then commenting that not only do birds never ever fly, but they don’t even want to or like to fly. They may perhaps not even be designed for flying despite the fact that they have wings. And the satisfying conclusion, “Stupid, useless, fucking birds. At least they make the cage look good!” This has been woman’s story since time began. Men forced Woman into a breeding dog role, prevented her from doing anything else with her life, and erroneously saw this as proof that she neither wanted to do nor was capable of doing anything else. All this despite a highly evolved brain and the same (or greater) capacity for skill mastery as men. “Stupid, useless, fucking bitches. At least, they make ME look good.”
The Bitch, more recently, has become a replacement term for Woman. Before this, as some women started to openly question their caged existence and the male creative drive, it used to be used most often to refer to a woman who pointed out or interfered with men’s privilege and brutality. But these days, if you pay attention to media, entertainment, daily conversations, output from gay and black culture, etc., you’ll see that in many ways, Bitch is now equal to Woman. And, strangely enough, the trannies – men in dresses – are taking over the word ‘woman’ for themselves. How did we get here…? The intensity and normalization of woman-hate in Western countries is reflected by how little attention hate speech such as this and other woman-slurs receive. I mean really, television will bleep out ‘fuck’, but not ‘bitch’. And all racial and ethnic slurs produce a cringe-factor in all people these days and are NEVER heard on television. Opposing a woman-slur gets you laughed at or an admonishment for not having your priorities straight (e.g., focusing instead on racism). Nope, woman hate is at an all-time high, and is completely brushed under the carpet. Men’s creative juices are still flowing, and Woman is becoming more and more unnatural with every iteration.
We also have the Whore. Since the beginning of time, men have creatively allowed a second role for Woman because it served an extremely important purpose for them. She is the Whore – a rejected woman; an unlucky woman; a confused, abused, misguided woman; and in essence, a woman who serves male sexual ‘needs’ in all ways. In the past, women were disallowed into the economy, and completely dependent on men for survival. One wrong move or a piece of bad luck, and she was forced into renting her body to every male in order to live (as opposed to selling her body to one man as a wife). In reality, if women were free from men and living naturally, they would never have even conceived of selling their bodies. But as per creative male design, putting Woman into a situation where she must service cock to survive allowed men an outlet for their sexual depravity as well as a very convenient object for their hate and rage. The Bitch was/is hated, but the Whore is hated more. Another love/hate object. Men tell us they are entitled to the use of whores, while at the same time castigating them and denying them humanity. They are hated and wanted and used by religious and atheist, conservative and liberal men alike. In the present day, capitalist men tell us that selling your cunt is a legitimate business, just like flipping burgers. But, unlike the burger-flipper, men hate and abuse whores. Truly, though, men see all women as whores. Some are public (prostitutes, strippers, etc.) and some are private (girlfriends, wives, etc.) The Whore is also a convenient construction used to divide women. Private whores are threatened by public whores and vice versa. Pitting these women against once another is part of the male plan of hate and control, and it works well. But underneath it all, public Whore, private Whore, and Bitch are really all one and the same… Woman.
One thing to know is that these archetypes, and the slurs themselves, will NEVER go away. They are a crucial part of the male system of violence and hate and creation and ‘love’ that was designed by men long ago. It is impossible to imagine a world where men exist and creative hate doesn’t. Men talk about the feminization/pussification of society, and this is exactly what they are getting at. They can’t exist without violence and woman-hate. They are threatened by the idea of dismantling their system by the introduction of natural female qualities of fairness, empathy, knowledge- and truth-seeking, love, etc. They fear the removal of hate and violence, the very things that give men meaning and purpose and that currently underlie every single society in existence. They fear the eradication of their greatest creation – the Whore/Bitch. They don’t have to worry though, no one is fighting them. Quite the opposite, actually.
[This post is part of the Love = Hate series.]
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“I’m a Visual Person”
How many times has a scrotum told you that he is ‘a visual person’? If you are female and some dude in your life has told you that – sometimes in all seriousness, sometimes with a smirk – he is trying to tell you a truth about himself and his approach to dealing with women. In all likelihood, you are going to choose to ignore that truth all to preserve the illusion that this dude cares about you and about women. Denial is easier after all. The world becomes a different and much more difficult place for women who truly listen to men’s direct and indirect messages about their universal truth. That truth is that despite layers of subterfuge, all men hate women. And once you decide to acknowledge that truth, process it and live your life according to it, shit gets difficult. Better in some ways, but more difficult in others.
The sentence “I am a visual person” actually translates to “I am a pro-rape rapist.” When a male says: “I am a visual person,” it has nothing to do with any special abilities involving his eyes, optic nerve or occipital lobe. It is not ability at all that he is talking about. He is referring to his privilege over you and all women – the privilege having a penis brings him. The context in which said scrotum will issue this pronouncement of visual proclivity or prowess is always one that demands women be placed in a subordinate, rapeable, and consumable position. He uses the phrase to account for abusive behaviour towards you or another woman. He can’t help himself, you see. He is a visual person.
A male is a visual person if he:
- is ogling another woman while you are talking, sitting or doing whatever with him,
- is distracted by another female while you are telling him about something misogynistic you are experiencing,
- sees pornography as an inalienable male right,
- requires that you wear clothing deemed ‘sexy’,
- can’t seem to have any kind of relations with you without visual aids that you don’t understand or feel comfortable with,
- doesn’t believe his bodily movements and behaviour with regard to interacting with women are within his control,
- can’t watch films unless they have female degradation in them, or
- believes that women must wear make-up in all situations
There are tons of examples, but they are repetitive. Being a ‘visual person’ for men basically translates into:
I am male, so my behaviour isn’t within my control and I am wired to hurt women. Women are meant for sex, therefore, I can do and request whatever I want from women without it being a comment on my character. I should not be held responsible for anything I do to women. I need female subordination and degradation to exist. Expression of my sexuality requires that women be degraded. Any attack on my misogynistic behaviour is an attack on my manhood. Besides… women like it, and if you don’t like it, there is something wrong with YOU.
A rape mentality, in other words.
Now here’s the thing. I know all this for a very good reason because I am actually a bona fide visual person. So, I know what it really means to be a visual person. It means:
- I love maps. I can read them easily. I am also really good at directions and recognizing landmarks. I can orient myself easily in a strange place and seldom get lost.
- I love designs and models and have no problem visualizing intention from these.
- I love colour. I associate different colours with emotions, flavours, etc. Colour tells a rich story for me.
- Patterns catch my eye, and I can lose time enjoying their intricacies.
- I often remember events through visual triggers. For example, I’ll remember something that happened 20 years ago first by what someone was wearing or what the sky looked like, rather than what day of the week it was or some other factual information.
- I love all aspects of math that require visual presentations of information. Geometry and visual depictions of data through graphs and tables are all fields of math and mathematical visual aids with which I feel very comfortable
- My spatial abilities are excellent. I am great at packing a car trunk, rearranging a room and imagining how a configuration will impact how something will work.
- I have an excellent imagination and create pictures in my mind to do everything from solving problems to turning a design or pattern into the finished product in my head, etc.
- I am better at recognizing faces than I am at remembering names.
- I am really good at reading body language and facial expressions. Part of this is being the survivor of childhood abuse, but a lot of it comes from being visual and depending on visual cues to understand a situation.
- I can look at a picture and easily create an entire story to explain what is going on. Photographs and paintings have a huge emotional impact on me. It also means that it is hard for me to watch violence because visuals are heavily loaded with emotion.
- I’d rather look at a political cartoon then listen to a political joke.
- I often need to see a word or sentence written down to fully understand what is being said or to discern an oral or grammatical problem.
- I don’t need graphic sexual displays to get the point. As a visual person, subtlety goes a long way. I find that if one needs graphic displays in order to feel something, one probably isn’t a visual person at all.
And on the topic of ‘sex’ or sexuality, being visual is in no way connected with respectfulness or the way one treats another person. Demeaning another person and calling it ‘being visual’ makes no sense. It is simply a standard example of male illogic and a typical way in which men abuse women and call it something else to legitimize and sanitize it. It’s laughable that so many men say women are illogical. The pot calls the stainless steel kettle black.
Given that so many men are ‘visual people’, I’d like to know why most of them don’t gravitate towards careers in the visual arts or janitorial services, or why most men aren’t able to see that a space is filthy or unappealing. If one is oriented towards visual detail, you tend to have clean spaces and pay attention to how you present yourself. Most men couldn’t give a shit about colour or cleanliness or couldn’t comment on the layout of a room to save their lives. That is visual stuff, so you know you’re not dealing with ‘visual people’ when you’re talking to men. Most of these scrotes are just trying to get away with abuse and to tell you a fundamental truth about themselves and how they view you and women in general. And you’d do best to turn tail and escape the abuse that will inevitably follow as you get sucked further into his web of hurt.
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Domestic Abuse on the Street – Foreign Woman Tries to Intervene, Fails
After a week of constant misogynist student comments, constant tit-ogling by my friendly neighbourhood construction workers, daily wonderment at how my male students were able to gain entrance into university and college (they are so fucking lazy and stupid, I can’t believe it!), daily racism and misogyny shit sandwiches by all and sundry – especially my neighbours and co-workers of three years, and on top of it all, 35°C (that’s 95°F to you, Yanks) every single day in both my workspace and home (no A/C!!!), the last fucking thing I needed was dealing with a commonplace street assault.
In China, it is perfectly acceptable to abuse your wife or girlfriend on the street in broad daylight. It is not quite as bad as South Korea or Thailand, where you can physical beat the bitch down to the ground with no repercussions (I’ve witnessed this in Thailand and tried to intervene once – a Japanese man stopped me – and a friend of mine lived in Korea and saw it all the time), but the Chinese-style woman-beat-down is an every day occurrence. I have a history of intervening in male abuse of women – moreso in my youth when I was stronger and dumber. No women have ever helped me (quite the opposite, actually), but that hasn’t stopped me from trying to help dumb-ass heterosexual women. I’ve learned, mostly. I don’t bother helping heterosexual women with their problems anymore. I fought for my own fucking freedom, and I continue to pay for my decisions because het women refuse to get on board in solidarity in the name of change and making female life better. Nothing has EVER in the history of the world been gained through waiting patiently – especially when it is waiting for people (men) to overcome their abusive tendencies and dumbassery. If you want freedom, you need to fucking fight for it, sometimes violently, especially if you don’t have money, or power in other areas of your life, or the right connections. So if you’re not going to fight, then you suck it up, and don’t whine about it. You only get to whine if you follow it up with action. So, I generally refuse to be sucked down into another woman’s problems for a number of reasons. Her boyfriend will try to hurt me – that’s a guarantee. She herself will almost always hurt me in response, she will usually choose the cock she is sucking and getting raped by over a friendly sister, and return to him after she uses me, and will end up supporting a system that *sort of* helps her (the cocksucker) and badly hurts me (the rebel). It’s the same philosophy I use in other areas of life, such as with my students. If students are lazy, selfish, and don’t give a shit about anyone (sometimes including themselves), I don’t bother with them. Only the ones who are willing to do the hard work get my support beyond what I am paid to do. My time and energy are fucking precious, so I bet on the winning horses. Blaming the victim? Well, fuck. At what point will we actually ask women to take some fucking responsibility, take some fucking risks? Men are not going to change until we force them to change, impose serious consequences for their actions, control them, kill them, or separate from them. Or some combination. Victimhood is real, but telling women to just accept things, or not to take risks, or not to self-examine is bullshit. Nothing will ever change until women take charge of their lives in serious and aggressive ways. If you need proof, look at the lack of change over the last several thousand years due to pussyfooting around the issue. I’m not an activist, but I don’t sit on my ass and wait for other people to save me while my self-serving, anti-woman actions end up hurting other women. I have some serious burdens that a lot of women don’t have, but I still take responsibility for my impact. And other women are in a better position to make positive change. But they don’t. So what the fuck?
But I couldn’t help it today. I just can’t fucking stand violent men getting away with their privileged bullshit. I came across the standard domestic abuse scenario on my way to the subway station. Two university students outside the gates of my school. The boy, twice the size of his girlfriend and much larger than me as well and less than half my age, had pulled her to the side of the sidewalk and had the ‘spiral fracture grip’ on her forearm that you see with sooooo many domestic abuse situations. He was lambasting her for something – probably he was jealous that she was talking to a friend or she didn’t wear the right skirt or something serious like that. She had assumed the submissive, childlike, head down pose that is recognizable across all cultures as ‘beaten, broken, abused woman’. It must have been the androcidal impulse in me that increases as the weather gets hotter. Men rape more in hot temperatures. I feel the urge to kill rapists much more in the summer. Go figure. But anyhow, I stopped and yelled, “GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!” Didn’t even register to him. He was focused on his bitch. I moved more into his line of vision (I was walking on the road, not the sidewalk), and repeated my command. He turned to me in hatred and yelled, “FUCK YOU!” I yelled ‘fuck you’ back, but it was futile. He is the big man. And Chinese. So he has racism and sexism backing up his claim to power. I am just a white whore. Like an insect. My word means nothing. I have no power as a woman and especially as a white woman – a member of a powerless racial minority with a score of zero on the Oppressor Triangle™. He dismissed me with barely a look and returned to sexually abusing his girlfriend.
I walked on, androcide in my heart. There was nothing I could do. Not even the police would be interested in this kind of stuff. I know this well. I was dismissed before when I reported a black rapist racially profiling me, stalking me and demanding to come to my apartment to fuck (rape) me on our Chinese campus. My teaching liaison refused to contact the police. Rape and sexual assault are not matters for the police. I’ll be writing about China and its annoying mantra/euphemism on ‘harmony’ soon. Point is that women have no voice, no rights in China. But who are we kidding, women have no voice and no rights anywhere. In fact, it is getting worse for us in countries where women are supposedly ‘free’ (according to rapists, I mean men).
I managed to cool down some, gradually, but with racism and misogyny in full force over this past week, I’m having a very serious “I hate China” week and I am fantasizing non-stop of ramming chopsticks into male eye sockets. It brings me a little peace to think about it, but the fact that rapists aren’t dying in reality leaves me unsatisfied and frustrated.
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Gay Men Hate You Too
Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.
Germaine Greer
I generally dislike using quotes and those who quote frequently/constantly either in speaking or writing. I teach my writing students that, unless their essays are specifically about discussing the ideas inherent in a particular quote, to try to avoid using quotes altogether because it breeds a dependency on them and a lack of originality in thinking. My problems with quotes are multi-fold. First, most things have been said before in different ways by many people. Second, men frequently get credit for things that were most likely said by women first (often their mothers or female spouses, but also friends and colleagues). Third, nasty and/or dumb people live on in history for some chance statement that they have stolen and said loudly enough to be heard, and are then remembered as clever or noble. And finally, heavy reliance upon quotes can be problematic as it prevents you from trying to use your own words, and I find that most of us misunderstand the original meaning of quotes or get the attribution wrong. Quotes can be handy for starting discussions or to start an essay, but addiction is easy.
I do take a bit of exception to feminist quotes because for one, women, their existence, their ideas, and their words are typically erased from history by men. When a feminist says something important that is remembered, I try to preserve it. As well, feminists tell us very important truths about reality, and we’d all do well to remember them. Women tend not to remember or even acknowledge their realities. So I have a choice slideshow of feminist quotes in my sidebar, and today, I’ve pulled one of my favourites, one of the simplest and easiest to remember, and of course, one of the messages that pretty much all women forget.
It would be easy and convenient if it were only rich, white, Christian, straight dudes who were the thorn in Woman’s side. They could easily be targeted and dealt with. They certainly are not the majority in the world. But alas, it is not true. The truth is that all men hate all women. It might be seething violent hate manifesting openly in criminal behaviour against women. But it can also be as hidden as an undersized testicle, no one finding out about it until the right set of circumstances put you into direct contact with it. But it is there, in all men. On a continuum from violently open to extremely well-hidden. And one thing women don’t want to believe is that even men who are clear or visible members of Oppressed Groups™ hate them too. One of the worst mistakes a woman can make is to assume that a man can bond with her over being silenced or erased.
No, you see, men are men and all that comes with it (this is the differential interaction effect of nature and nurture on females and males). Key among their group qualities is a real and significant inability to empathize. And this means that men in groups that are hurt by society are unable to feel anything for other marginalized groups and are often quite easily able to abuse those people without any kind of self-reflection. And by ‘those people’, I mean women, primarily. Oppressed men can frequently feel some kind of kinship with men from other marginalized groups, but not with women, in general, or women in said groups. So in this way, a poor man can show support for a gay man, but is open about his rape fantasies of lesbians or watches ‘lesbian’ porn. Likewise, men of any and all groups will take the PTSD of male soldiers seriously, but will have a laugh about or just dismiss the rape of female soldiers by these same male soldiers. (Oh, and by the way, soldiers are not ‘oppressed’ – quite the opposite, in fact, as they are state-sanctioned murderers, and the males are state-sanctioned rapists, as well. I’m referring to PTSD, a mental health condition, which is marginalizing.)
And within groups themselves, women have discovered that fighting the good fight alongside their male counterparts hasn’t been all it’s cracked up to be. Lesbians don’t get support from gay men. Poor women don’t get support from poor men. Atheist women don’t get support from atheist men. Black women don’t get support from black men. Rather, they are expected to do all the grunt work, act as cannon fodder on the front lines including getting arrested, take charge of feeding and watering the male members, look after children if there are any, and (except in the case of LGB groups – although that is changing since adding the T and Q) provide sex. When there are movements for change, what women forget is that men aren’t interested in equality. They are interested in moving up the ladder of power, the rungs of which are women’s backs, and we see this time and again in revolutionary movements. The underclass fights the oppressors, and then replaces them and keeps the same male hierarchy in place. Nothing changes. Women are still on the bottom and left wondering what the fight was for.
So let’s get to gay men – that is, after all, the topic of this post.
I recently wrote a post about another marginalized group – atheists. And as atheist men hate you, so do gay men.
I just spent three weeks travelling through California, which means I was surrounded by tons of out-and-proud gay men loudly spewing woman-hate, and not caring if women were around to hear them. I sat in restaurants PAYING for service that didn’t just include food, but also large sides of misogyny. PAYING to sit there listening to the gay men across the room – including gay staff members – talk about bitches and cunts and say some of the most misogynist things I heard on my trip, even surpassing the bullshit said by straight men I encountered. If I were a gay man having to listen to homophobia in a restaurant, I could probably sue. But as a woman, I have no rights to feel safe in a public place. I would have been laughed out of the joint.
You don’t have to look far to find nice little object lessons. And yet another was presented to me the other day online. The latest horrific piece of news in Trans-World is that some smug little MtT is looking to take leadership within the UK’s National Union of Students as the Women’s Officer. It is distressing. And women are blogging in protest. I headed over to the reblog of an article on this by a woman I read only to find some dude was already jizzing all over the comments. He had provided an insulting reference to a female public figure commenting on how the trans looked like her (he didn’t, actually – I couldn’t see the similarity). He also couldn’t figure out from the title of the original blogged article what the issue was with a trannie heading up the arm of a major women’s organization. He went on a mansplaining, dick-wagging, woman-shaming blah-blah-blah about clothing and how lesbians dress or don’t dress. It actually didn’t make any sense and had nothing to do with why the article was reblogged. If the mainsplaining didn’t give him away as a misogynist, it was the inability to understand the problem with the article that did.
I normally try to resist interacting with clueless men, but he asked a question: what is the issue here? He thought it was clothing. I had no idea he was gay or actually known to and a friend of the female blogger. All I knew was that he was pro-trans and thus anti-feminist. I mean seriously, he has nothing to lose from a man taking over a woman’s movement or women’s spaces. So, of course, he will promote it. Only women are hurt by this. So I let him know that the information about what was being disapproved of was clear in the title (directly naming ‘male pretendbian’, which we all know means ‘MtT pretending to be a lesbian’) of the post. I mean come on, my Chinese students have better reading comprehension, I said. The misogynist responded with a flurry of woman-hate, calling me both a genius AND an imbecile, which was hilarious, and for some bizarre reason, telling me that the article was a reblog, which I and everyone else knew. And then, when I addressed the blogger on the woman-hate in the comment section, Dood attacked me again by announcing his gayness and positing that the only way he could possibly hurt women is by throwing a glitter bomb on us. Clueless, but given that he supports men in dresses, and by definition, of the pro-trans right of men (in dresses) to demand sex from lesbians, this is not a big surprise. Men think they are harmless. Even when they are in the middle of being harmful.
Gay men may not actually rape us, but they play an important role in normalizing violent and denigrating thinking about women and about normalizing the idea of women as objects (e.g., negating women in the LGB movement) and filthy, hateful things (e.g., the ‘ick factor’) or as walking pornified sexual stereotypes (e.g., gender reinforcement through drag queening). And they are often more vocal in their misogyny than straight men. And they are just as excellent at mansplaining as straight dudes. And because they are marginalized, they get away with it.
The lesson here is that you should never forget that no matter how marginalized a man may say he is or that society says he is, he is always more powerful than all women. As I appear to continually say (because it’s true, goddammit), penis trumps vagina. Always. Always. Always. Don’t be fooled. Gay men hate you too. And it’s more than just glitter bombs and cat fights they threaten you with.
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Atheist Men Hate You Too
When I was younger and more naive, I held out some hope for the atheist movement. When all you see around you is conservatism, religious violence, and traditional male arguments for why women need to be kept down, atheism can, on the surface seem like a fresh, clean wind blowing from a freer, more rational place.
I’ve been a non-believer all my life. My somewhat moderate parents installed me in an Anglican Sunday school when I was five, but when the brainwashers started teaching me my parents were evil for consuming wine, I was pulled out immediately.
I was saved because my parents were borderline alcoholics.
There was some occasional religious sputtering in school. The Lord’s Prayer was a morning ritual in Ontario where I went to school. At some point, that stopped. I can’t exactly remember when it stopped in my particular school since it was meaningless to me. We mumbled for years without understanding. Today, all children in public schools in Canada are free from this form of brainwashing – prayer in schools is disallowed under the concept of Freedom of Conscience thanks to our rights and freedoms charter. I do recall one particularly nasty Christian fanatic teacher who forced children to take home and prepare class lectures from the picture bible she kept in her class (not part of official curriculum), but again, the exercise was so meaningless as to have no lasting effect on my intellect. The same can’t be said for the few Jewish students that that same asshole teacher punished for, you guessed it, being Jewish (although, I, like many others, would argue that children are not religious – they are just the children of parents who are religious – too bad they’re punished for their parents’ beliefs).
As a high schooler, I had friends of different denominations, and I did visit their places of worship to find out what was going on. Each time, bad things happened. At one place, we were treated to a couple of hours of terrifying and repetitive ‘going to hell’ dramatic skits, and afterwards, the adults held a friend and me captive for an hour trying to wheedle our addresses and phone numbers out of us. We managed to escape. At another place, I was taught that one of my parents was evil for practising hypnosis on their psych patients who were trying to quit smoking. Yeah, there was no convincing me of the merits or sense of religion. All I saw were lies, manipulation, and cruelty – even what I would consider law-breaking.
As an adult, I got to know of the prominent atheists – all were men, of course (Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, to name a few). Women seldom are given recognition in this world for anything unless they are flashing their tits or doing something *evil*. And then it is notoriety rather than respect or recognition.
As I was becoming a militant atheist, I was also developing my radical feminist standpoint. Initially, I had felt some hope that atheism would help women, liberate them from mandatory, submissive sex roles. But I realized something. And it was a true downer.
Atheist men, including those famous nutsacks I mentioned above, hate women just as much as right-wing, religious or traditional men do. They just put a different spin on it. Some of them use sexist language and outright dismiss anything women have to say, but most of these dudes are wily. They manage to get a few women on board (aka fun-feminists) by supporting abortion and women’s ‘right’ to fuck as much as they want. But the motivation is not to support women’s true freedom. It is to maintain current privileged male access to women’s bodies. If women can have abortions, they’ll fuck more. If women fuck more, they’ll do lots of men for free. So it is more sexual power for men spun as ‘women’s liberation’. And fun-feminists gobble it up like indentured girls do a blow job in a porno – humiliated, and pretending to like it. There is an illusion of freedom and an illusion of male support. But true freedom and true power are still not accessible to women under the atheist and/or left-wing male agenda. And the easiest way to expose a male atheist for the misogynist he is is to a) refuse him sex, b) threaten to take away their porn/hookers/lap dancers, etc., or c) continue fighting for women’s real freedom in economics, politics, etc. You’ll get called every name in the book, receive rape threats, and have support rescinded.
You see, men don’t get behind women’s causes unless it benefits them in some easy-to-understand way that supports the existing power structure. Even though feminism benefits men much more than any domination-submission standpoint ever has or will, it is dependent upon men giving up violence and the power that comes from it. In a feminist world, men don’t get to rape, beat, murder, harass or otherwise dominate women. And to most men, including atheists, they don’t like that scenario.
Atheism is a good, good thing. Necessary for moral advancement. And necessary for female liberation. I stand by that. The problem is that any movement in the hands of men will continue to support the male agenda. Men can take any movement/proposal that has the power to liberate the oppressed and turn it into something that benefits themselves and the existing power structure.
So yes, be an atheist. Intellectual freedom is only possible if you let go of fairy tales. But do it on your own terms. And never go for atheism that doesn’t embrace radical feminism. Otherwise, it’s pointless.
I Love Asian Women
Men. They’re all different, but they’re all the same.
That doesn’t make sense now, does it? Well, what I mean is that when, as all women are, you’re forced to listen to the constant stream of stupid shit straight men say, you notice that they all have their different sexual fetishes and proclivities. But, at the root of all of these delightful differences is a deep-seated hatred of women. Men reduce women to their body parts (I love tight pussy, big tits, long hair, etc), race/skin colour, and culture. By culture, I don’t mean the proper definition of culture, I mean cultural stereotypes – male fantasies aren’t based on deep meaning or understanding. So while they ‘love’ certain exploitable things about particular women, they actually hate women as a class. Love of women’s junk or affiliations does not translate into love, or more importantly, respect, of women.
I’ve spent the past few years removing men from my life. It’s depressing, but stress-releasing and self-preservational. Depressing because I’ve realized that the wiser and more self-respecting I’ve gotten, the less able I am to endure men. And being around men, I’ve also realized, is about enduring, tolerating, bearing – in essence, negating/erasing myself and my self-worth. I’ve never felt this in the company of women. I’ve not felt that women hang around with me because of anything other than shared interests or compatible personalities.
Coming to Asia for Pussy and a Sense of Power
The most recent batch of men that I’ve had to offload or detour around once I encounter them are ones that have come out with the all-too-common: “I love Asian women.” and the complement of that: “I hate Western women.”
Unfortunately, I have lived in Asia off and on for the last 13 years, so I hear this shit all the time from non-Asian men. Many of these dickfaces come to Taiwan and China (and other Asian countries) so that they can score Asian pussy. Some of them just want to use and fuck, but others want the whole wifey-wifey deal. Part of it is so that they don’t have to learn about the country they’re in or learn the language – if you pick up a local woman, she will navigate for you and make your life easy.
My favourite comment thus far came from a South African dude who smirkingly told me that he’d finally scored a ‘rice-powered bed-warmer’. Classy. And yet, I didn’t reward him with a high five.
The other thing that foreign men like about Asians is the whole subservience thing that they believe is built in to Asian women. Asian women will cook, clean, let you rape them regularly, and will never complain about anything you demand of them. They are also femininity-compliant and believe that the man is the head of the house. Oh, and you can be old, fat, ugly, stupid, and have a personality disorder and still score a hot, young Asian babe. There are many online discussion groups devoted to this “Asian bitches are better. They know their place” phenomenon. These men are vomit-inducing. Thank goodness they have the internet so that they can get together and circle jerk.
I worked with one obnoxious, stupid and really ugly Australian guy who had scored an accomplished, employed Taiwanese woman. I remember her rushing to our place of work with the lunch that he had forgotten. I watched as he upbraided her for some transgression in the middle of our populated staff room. She stood there, head down, like a child. She was in her 30’s.
One thing is always true though, I’ve noticed: these guys are big losers in their own countries. Women can smell the rot within them and won’t give them the time of day. I would bet money that they have raped at least once. I used to wonder why these dudes didn’t just join the fucked up BDSM scene, but I suspect that most of them don’t see themselves as kinky or alternative – they just want subservience. BDSM is lame and gross, but probably too weird for the “I love Asian women’ crowd. Control, without perversion.
The average Western woman (outside BDSM or strict religious communities) is ‘uppity’, ‘demanding’, and is vocal about having some semblance of human rights. We don’t like to be raped. We have the word ‘no’, which we like to use. In Chinese, there is no distinct word for ‘no’ – or for ‘yes’ for that matter. You can say ‘don’t want’, ‘don’t have’, ‘am not’, but there is no resounding ‘NO!!!!’ Once you own a Chinese girl, you can do whatever you want. No one will stop you. Foreign men love this.
But You Can Love Asian Women at Home Too!
But these dudes don’t even need to leave the homeland to enjoy what the world has to offer. Luckily, Asian women are everywhere.
I recently had to dismiss a former boss-turned-acquaintance from Canada (originally England). After one relationship had gone south with a Canadian woman, he found himself living alone on a farm. He started taking on WWOOFers (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) to help out as volunteers with the work. He was particularly taken with some young Korean girls in their late teens who were travelling and volunteering. Dude (who is about 55) told me he had a hard time keeping his hands off them, and then announced to me that he hated Western women. He then told me he was using a dating site matching up Asian women with Western men (mail order bride site?), and he wanted my help in procuring an impoverished Filipino woman who was working as a slave/house cleaner in China to support her children back in the Philippines. Prostituting herself to a Western fucker instead of a Chinese fucker looked like a better option, apparently. I suspect that will change as the average Chinese, despite what racist, ignorant, white, liberal Americans will tell you, are much richer than the average white person these days. And China is the new power, still growing – white guys are less and less of a catch in comparison. Things are a-changing.
Anyhoo… I told British-Canadian-immigrant to fuck off, that I wouldn’t participate in his rape fantasy-turned-reality, and I haven’t spoken to him since. Piece of shit.
A few years back, I went back to Canada for a spell to get my health back after a horrid, demoralizing stint in the Chinese countryside. I ended up working for an abusive Turkish immigrant who sexually and psychologically harassed me on a regular basis, starting on day one when he told me that I was older than he thought I would be (I arranged the job online and via phone before I got back to Canada).
We had a number of Japanese women working for us that he appeared to leave completely alone, unharassed. At one point, after I showed myself to be an uppity Western bitch when he wouldn’t leave ME alone, he told me that he ‘really liked Asian women’ working for him. They never complained. Of course they didn’t. Asian women don’t talk back to male bosses who are hurting them. AND they had WORK VISAS. If you have a work visa in foreign country, you are well aware that the visa is tied to a specific job. If you lose the job, you must leave the country until you can find another employer to sponsor you. To stay would get you deported and banned. The best way to get fired is to complain.
Conclusion
One thing I want to make clear. I’m not lamenting the loss of these nutsacks to more compliant women. I wouldn’t touch these fuckers with a 10,000 foot pole. Rather, I’d prefer to live in a world where women aren’t reduced to their parts, and where men aren’t given universal permission to treat women as acceptable or unacceptable based on how much abuse they’re willing to take. As it is, this little ‘rating’ system does convince many women that there is something wrong with them if they can’t catch a man, and that wrongness is directly tied to having to give up their humanity.
First, women don’t need men. Ever. Second, if you really must be with a man, it should be someone who sees you as an equal deserving of respect. But that, of course, isn’t what heterosexuality is or can be. It is, despite what you say (fuelled by your Stockholm Syndrome and programming from birth), based on inequality and dependent on women hating themselves and accepting (even subconsciously) the male rule of law that females are inferior in all the ways that matter.
Story Ending Never 
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