Category Archives: Separatism
P is for Pills
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
I’ll admit that I’ve been both threatening and looking forward to writing this post for a long time. I’m going to attempt to do a brief navigation through the various groups that you’ll find online and in the meat world if you’re looking for a drug of choice that soothes your patriarchal suffering and that may attempt to address women’s issues or even feminism. The problem is that so many of these groups, especially the ones where members say they are feminists or where the word ‘feminism’ even appears in the name, have little to nothing to do with real feminism. So newbies can find themselves lost, confused, and sometimes abused if they enter a group and start asking legitimate questions.
Please note that I’m definitely not going to cover every single group or movement out there, so if you see something missing that you have had experience with, please throw it in the comments. Likewise, please feel free to share any experiences you’ve had with any of the groups I mention. I’d be very appreciative, and I know some readers would as well.
I’m going to give this post a slightly longer title: P is for Pills, Pablum and Pretenders, so that I adequately cover the range of groups I’ll get into. I’m also providing an article published by the Anti-Defamation League that looks at a number of ‘pilled’ groups run by men. It is important to understand that male groups and female groups, even if they use similar jargon, are always different, especially when they are labelled ‘extreme’. All extreme male groups are violent and often engage in domestic, international or online terrorism of target enemies. Women’s groups are sometimes labelled extreme even by other female-oriented groups, but they are never violent or actually extreme, objectively speaking. And they don’t target innocent ‘enemies’ the way all men’s groups do. These women’s groups are called extreme for the exact same reasons that women are called ‘crazy’ or ‘illogical’; males are threatened by female ideas that speak truths about the male nature and behaviour, so they try to discredit them, and women are smacked in the face with cognitive dissonance brought on by the truths about men and female complicity with patriarchy, and they react with denouncement. But here’s the thing: most, if not all, of the groups I’m going to talk about have been banned on at least one social media platform. Men’s groups are seldom, if ever, banned – even if they talk about rape and other violence that women apparently deserve. But women talking about women’s issues are a threat to society and must be silenced in a community that values free speech.
And with that, let’s jump in. We’ll start with the pills.
While males like to refer to being either blue-pilled or red-pilled, and it applies within a political context and among violent incels who all want women to die after some serious raping, within women’s circles, the pills have nothing to do with violence.
Blue Pill
This isn’t really a thing, but I’m including it as sort of the default heterosexual woman state. This is the ‘ignorance is bliss’ approach to life. Question nothing, accept everything or at least pretend it doesn’t exist, especially if it doesn’t directly affect you.
Red Pill
Some people equate this to what is known as Female Dating Stratey. Red Pill males are incels who are violent misogynists who believe that the world operates to benefit women and they need to do what is necessary to turn that around. For women, there is no violence involved. Women know that men are garbage, but they still, for some reason, need to get themselves one. They prioritize themselves, develop a ‘queen’ mentality, seem to acknowledge that their cunts have value, and focus on finding a high-value male to match their own high value while minimizing the harm males do to them. It is super gross. They are in no way equal to the red pill incel mentality, but I can’t understand these women at all. And needless to say, this is not feminism, even if today’s libfem might call it female empowerment.
If you really need to know more about this, there are women who have written handbooks on the topic including here.
Pink Pill Feminism
Pink Pill, by itself, is used by men to refer to the female version of incels (or involuntary celebates), called femcels. But while online groups of these women exist, and even do call themselves femcels, they are nothing like the males. I’ve cruised through some of their group discussions and the content just makes me feel sad. These women claim they can’t get men for sex or dating, but unlike the men, their frustration is turned inward and they go on and on about being too ugly. They live in a deep fog of self-hatred and depression, which is so completely unnecessary. The men, on the other hand, blame women for all their problems and fantasize about doing horrific things to women.
Pink Pill Feminism, on the other hand, isn’t true feminism, but a forum for mostly heterosexual women to come together and document straight male bullshit without an element of ‘Not All Men!!!’. They were banned from Reddit and at one point the site Pink Pill Feminism was set up, and to sign up, you had to confirm your female status through Zoom, to prevent infiltration by males. At this writing, the site appears to be down. I’m aware of another site, ThePinkPill.co, which looks like it is under development and you can enter your email to be updated when and if something happens.
Black Pill Feminism
I’ve spent considerably more time in this community and I’ve met some awesome, intelligent and no-bullshit women through discussions. However, I am not 100% with the tenets, even though they consider me to be a classic Black-Piller. Black-Pillers believe everything is biological – both male violence and female subservience – and that the latter has been bred into women and there is no escaping from worshipping males and letting them dominate. I am a firm believer in a Nature-Nurture intertwining. Males are biological wired to be violent and that can’t be changed. But they have developed a sociological system that rewards them for their violence and that rewards women for submitting and punishes them brutally for rebelling. I don’t in any way believe women are biologically wired for subservience.
This group is considered to be ‘extreme’ and was banned on Reddit. A small group started up and currently barely exists on Saidit.net. I don’t consider it to be real feminism, and it can attract some rather woman-hating and angry women (if they are women, that is – it is anonymous, of course…), but some of the more interesting and honest discussions I’ve encountered have happened in Black Pill circles, and you never encounter ‘Not All Men!’.
Gender Critical
This is not a group I typically hang out in, as I don’t consider it to be feminism. If you consult Scrotalpedia, they equate it with Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminism. It is absolutely not radical feminism, and group members are generally not truly opposed to gender, especially if you are critiquing women’s performance of it. Rather, this group is opposed to and focused on the Trans Cult and its encroachments on what is typically seen to be the domain of females. You don’t actually have to be feminist to oppose the trans, and many of the members are practising straight women who also hate homosexuality. They really should rename themselves ‘Trans Critical’.
Real feminists are not gender critical, but gender abolitionists because they see the major role gender plays in forcing women into subservience, discomfort, and an infantilized, but hyper-sexualized state – all pandering to the oppressor class.
Socialist, Communist and Anarcha-Feminism
These are related feminisms that agree on one point: that patriarchy and capitalism work together to exploit and oppress women. They focus on unpaid motherhood (which it’s not) and reproductive rights, which means that heterosexuality and breeding are centred and a growing number of women, including lesbians, the celibate, and the child-free are completely alienated. Also, since the primary focus is on economic class, what is neglected is the most serious patriarchal problem that affects all women in all corners of the globe: male violence. Giving women more money doesn’t solve male violence and the fear that women are forced to live with. You can be rich or middle-class, and that won’t save you from being raped or murdered, in other words. In my opinion, this is one of the major problems with women piggy-backing on male movements. Instead of taking a social issue and then injecting women into it, you never really get to what is most important. You need to start with women and then analyze their issues instead of the opposite.
More detail on socialist feminism.
Eco-Feminism
Like the previous splinter group, eco-feminists hold patriarchy and capitalism responsible for female domination and the destruction of the environment. I remember sitting in a college class in Environmental Management a few years ago, and there was a tiny blurb in the textbook on eco-feminism, and the male prof launched into a diatribe on the ridiculousness of feminism. Despite never once announcing to the class that I was a feminist, people started shooting glances at me. I am such a non-descript person, yet there is something about me that just screams militant man-hater… One of the military females in the class gave me the side-eye and started yelling out, “I hate feminists!”, which didn’t surprise me in the least as I can’t think of anything more antithetical to femalehood than the military. Needless to say, I didn’t say a word, but sat there with as neutral a look on my face as I could manage.
Anyhow, while I agree with some of the issues eco-feminism addresses, these women frequently partner with men, and they are still piggy-backing on a male movement. Many of these groups don’t go far enough in holding men responsible for the destruction of the planet. The other issue I have, and I wrestle with it constantly as it can’t be solved, is the opposition to meat-eating. I’ve been vegetarian, and it nearly destroyed my health, especially during a period of very difficult manual labour. I’ve since done a lot of research, and have come to understand the following. First, it is likely that humans were mostly only able to develop such complex brains because of eating meat-based proteins. And second, there is a great deal of research, including long-running observational and case studies that demonstrate that cultures that almost completely consume meat, fat, organs, etc. don’t show the cancers and heart disease of high-carb cultures. But here is the thing, we are vastly overpopulated due to long-term male domination. I firmly believe that we were never meant to live in such large numbers. And the only way to support a massive and growing population is to create exploitative and land-destructive processes. We should be hunting and gathering and fishing with limited farming as opposed to destroying our oceans, soil, and mutating plants, and torturing animals with abandon. A female-only society would look very, very different, although we are well past the point of no return on our planet.
Oh, I have to mention one other strange, and hilarious and sad thing. I learned a new word when I went a-browsing for eco-feminist groups online. Harvard’s Women’s Centre put on an eco-feminism workshop, and in their description, they put the following:
“This philosophy emphasizes the ways a patriarchal society exerts dominance over both gender-minoritized people and nature…”
Gender-minoritized??? Ah, trannies. So the feminism that Harvard espouses has nothing to do with women’s oppression, but that of trannies. Didn’t Harvard used to be a respected, world-class university at one point in time? New depths in education. It really is an embarrassment
Liberal Feminism
I’m going to resist going into a lot of detail because this is an established on and offline mainstream feminism. My nickname for liberal feminism is ‘slut feminism’. These are mostly heterosexual, highly feminine, male-identified women who pursue equality and allow men to participate and even dictate feminist policy and events. They champion the ‘not all men’ movement and believe in socialization as the primary way to explain why males here and there managed to do horrific things to females. They also believe that males are harmed by patriarchy. They fight for small things that can’t possibly make a dent in the mountain of women’s problems. They love jargon and slogans so they don’t have to do any critical analysis. They are into empowerment, agency and sexual liberation, including porn and prostitution, so pretty much everything they think spells sexual freedom for females is actually primarily beneficial for men, and they end up accepting a lot of violence and degradation that men have sold to them as healthy and freeing. Needless to say, they do a great deal of harm to women and girls, and it keeps men doing what they do best.
Radical Feminism
A lot of women call themselves radical feminists, but aren’t, so this can be very confusing to those wondering what they are about. They are also the primary target of the Trans Cult – after lesbians, that is.
Radical feminism used to have a very basic definition, which is key to a potentially successful movement. They said that females as a class were systemically oppressed by males on the basis of sex. Male violence and sexual violence were a key feature of that oppression, and it was necessary to abolish gender in order to eliminate the class system.
Unfortunately, over time, radfems adopted intersectionality and inclusivity as ruling principles, and the movement no longer focused on women as a united oppressed class. Today, there is all sorts of in-fighting and purity testing and posing and Oppression Olympics and the censorship and blaming of different groups of women. Women like myself, eventually got turned off and have turned towards less messy affiliations in order to return to the true roots of feminism.
Lesbian Feminism, Female Separatism, Anti-Natalism and Gynocentrism
I’m not going to say a lot here. I have an entire post on Gynocentrism, which I think is the truest, clearest and least messy form of feminism. These four perspectives can work together, but they don’t have to. For me, they do. I am a celibate lesbian, I believe in existing apart from males as much as is womanly possible, I believe that humans need to stop breeding, and I believe in a focus of all resources and energy and care on women and girls only. Many women would consider these principles to be extreme, but I truly believe they are the truest path to health, safety, love, support, community, and self-actualization for women. It is the only way to find one’s natural self, and to reclaim the energy to help other women and girls, so that they can pay it forward. Patriarchal society functions in the opposite way, with men and boys parasitizing women and girls and forcing them into the most unnatural and harmful lifestyles and ways of thinking possible.
So I’ve come to the end of a long discussion, and here is my question for you. What will be your approach to living in the world of men? Do you want to take the blue pill, do you want to drink one of the of kool-aids, or do you want to get off the meds altogether?
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M is for Misogyny – Part II
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Did you come back for more? Well, colour me impressed. This is dangerous shit I’m talking about here. Asking people to do a little self-analysis usually requires a bit of a cognitive walk on the wild side and can inspire a lot defensive anger in anyone whose personal operating system consists of the fragile schema demanded by patriarchy. This can include men, straight women, religious people, mothers, liberal feminists, and even some activists and self-proclaimed radical feminists. Anyhow, congratulations on coming back. I’m hoping that the crescendo built by asking the why-questions in the last post will find its way into some more concrete and problem-solving thinking or action-taking in this post addressing some how-questions. So let’s get started.
M is for Misogyny – Part II.
In the last post, I attempted to explain why the average woman hates herself, and by extension, other women. I suggested that early childhood programming to see females as the enemy and as less valuable by misogynistic societies and families; the development of an addiction to suffering; and the harming of other women as a proxy for self-harm and as safer targets for revenge than male oppressors played major roles in women’s interactions. In addition, for women claiming to live feminist lives, I suggested that their own acts of aggression and feelings of hate or dislike towards other women may stem from the blind spot that experience and awareness create, and the lack of agreement about what feminism is – in addition to the other reasons above. For the more self-aware feminists, realizing that one has seemingly misogynistic thoughts and feelings about some women can inspire feelings of angst, guilt and shame – or what we call cognitive dissonance. Then can come the why-questions – the ones that help with understanding one’s purpose, and the motivation and the mechanisms behind one’s own and others’ behaviour towards other women. And if, by this point, the woman in question hasn’t just ended up abandoning feminism altogether in order to make her feelings and actions match again, she starts asking the how-questions. How is about taking action or starting on a path. It’s about turning purpose into tangible goals and measureable outcomes.
So, I’m going to give this post a secondary title in the form of an important how-question:
How can I support women without becoming a doormat, a punching bag or a martyr?
This is a common point of frustration for women trying to figure out how to deal with patriarchy. And I think a lot of women start to get burned out after years of trying to help people who don’t necessarily want or feel grateful for female help. You may already have your own answers to this question and the others that I’ll include below. I’m going to talk about my own solution and how I have dealt with my own feelings towards the multitudes of women who make me angry and frustrated. Please remember that there is no single way to ‘do feminism’, and although many people will try, no one should be telling you whom to help, how to help, or whether you should even bother helping at all. Like I said in Part I, purpose is personal, and I’ll extend that by saying that how you pursue your purpose is also personal. Sometimes, those who think they are helping women and are shaming you for behaving differently are actually doing more to maintain patriarchy than they realize.
Here are a few other how-questions that may come up:
How can I call myself a feminist if I am selective about which women I help and feel little interest in knowing or even being around most women?
How do I know if so-called feminist activities are actually anti-woman?
How can I criticize anti-woman female behaviour in an objective way that doesn’t end up spiralling into misogyny?
How do I identify a definition of feminism that actually helps women when so much of what is out there just seems to be pro-male rhetoric designed to gain followers and male approval?
Yeah, tough questions, but the following guiding principles keep me grounded. I’ve thought a lot about where I fit in the feminist movement, and I’ve determined that these principles are the best way to women directly and indirectly.
Gynocentrism vs Feminism
If you ask around, or better yet, if you listen to what women say and then watch what they do, you will come to the conclusion that feminism is whatever the fuck you want it to be from moment to moment and place to place. I’m not exaggerating or joking. The label has lost most of its original meaning. This is confusing to people encountering feminism for the first time or looking for answers to why and how questions as they pertain to helping women. A lot of this so-called helping of women is actually helping men and hurting women (or specific groups of women)
If you actually give a shit about women, a good rule of thumb or place to start is this: Ask for or look at the mission statement. If a feminist or feminist web site gives you more than one sentence and if that sentence includes anything besides or instead of the liberation of females from male oppression, then you are not dealing with woman-centred feminism. There shouldn’t be vague or euphemistic language. There shouldn’t be a focus on anything other than female liberation. Feminism is not about fighting all the phobias and isms in the world, nor is it about the environment or animal rights. All of those have their own movements, and believe me, animal rights or any other activists are not including blurbs about liberating women from men in their mission statements. So why must feminism do this? It’s like trying to order high-quality food off a 12-page menu with 300 main dishes.
Of course, everyone has the right to abuse language and to change accepted definitions to suit political agendas. It’s a human right, right? So, while I use the word feminism, or even radical feminism, I actually no longer consider myself to be either of those things. They’ve become practically meaningless, and in many cases, just another word for androcentrism. If you’ve been following along on my site, you already know that I consider myself to be a gynocentrist and a female separatist. And I highly recommend reading or listening to my post G is for Gynocentrism to get the deets on that.
Gynocentrism is clear and simple in its principles or mission, and I think is it possibly what radical feminism was supposed to be before it began to over-focus on inclusivity and all the other side issues. Simplicity is how you stay focused and united in a cause. It is easy for people to know right away whether they agree with it enough to join. When you sign up for any of the feminisms, you can pretty much guarantee that there will be in-fighting, hierarchies, schisms, a focus on men, and the kicking-out of members who get too offensive or speak too much truth. These days, you can’t just be a woman in feminism. You have to bring all your other baggage filled to the brim with your wardrobe of identities.
The bottom line: give a group, individual feminist, book, or other material the old Occam’s Razor test. If you can’t see a clear focus on female liberation from males and from female self-harm behaviours, then turn around and walk away. Or maybe run.
Self-Preservation vs Self-Immolation
A lot of feminist activists tell us that we have to love all women even if they are the worst kind of patriarchy-supporting people, and that the sympathy and empathy must flow unconditionally. Kind of a love the sinner, hate the sin kind of thing. And I say stop. Feminism ain’t no religion, and I am no longer willing to be abusive women’s doormat, punching bag or token sacrifice. I do have a limited amount of empathy and sympathy for women who have suffered, and I don’t believe women and girls deserve what happens to them because of men. I’ve said before that I don’t believe suffering is a necessary part of the human condition. But I do hold women responsible for their decisions and behaviour, especially once they are old enough to be in charge of children’s well-being and to use their brains to regulate their own behaviour. Having a bad life is never an excuse for abusing other women or girls. I’ve been put into some very bad situations by women I was trying to help, and I finally came to realize that I was wasting my time, and my efforts weren’t helping women as a class at all. On the contrary. I was, in fact helping men by depleting my energy, by putting myself in danger, and by enabling and empowering woman-hating women. I realized that I, myself, as a woman didn’t deserve to be destroyed or abused by men or women acting on behalf of men.
The take-home message here is that like in an emergency situation on an airplane, you put your own oxygen mask on first. It is both perfectly fine and perfectly logical to put yourself first before you attempt any heroics. I think any of us women over the age of 40 can tell you what happens to your body and mind after decades of putting others, especially antagonistic, parasitical, or stress-inducing others, first.
Strategic Help vs Patch-Up/Clean-Up
Given that there are limited resources for women in this world, and that an individual woman only has a limited amount of gynergy to fuel herself and whatever other people she helps, it makes sense to be strategic. I used to be indiscriminate, running from fire to fire before I realized that it was both unsustainable and pointless.
Feminist attention and efforts seem very much focused on the women who already get most of the limited resources and attention available – mostly mothers and partnered straight women – and the fact that it never seems to be enough and seldom, if ever, solves any of the problems these women face, let alone women as a class face, should really be telling us something. It’s not working! We’re focused on the wrong things! We’re pouring our money and energy into a bottomless pit of neverending suffering.
The goal of activism, although no one would ever admit this, is to patch up wounded women and clean up the most recent messes that men make of women’s lives, and then send the women back into the world to do it all again. I see activism as sort of the ER of the healthcare system. The bulk of the work is reactive, not preventative. I’m sure there is the occasional small and underfunded feminist activist group that seeks to do preventative work, but it is not the norm. Prevention is sooo much harder and more long-term than putting on band aids and offering crisis counselling. Am I advocating for stopping all of this? Well, no, of course not. Short-term after-care is always needed. But I can’t personally participate in this because I see it as ultimately helping men and maintaining patriarchy, although I know activist women rationalize their contributions differently.
Myself, I help individually, spontaneously and strategically. I help women who both want and need help and who are on a gynocentric path, and whose needs won’t be addressed by The System or by feminist activists. By helping them, I believe my contributions make an actual preventative difference and ultimately help all women by empowering those women who don’t uplift patriarchy. That is the only action that makes sense to me. And it is these women who are more likely to pay it forward, which is how feminism should work, but seldom does.
Integrity vs Inclusion
I don’t think the majority of women can handle gynocentrism, or even weak forms of feminism. I’ve heard a lot of women in the scene say that feminism is for all women – it is inclusive. And I’ve never really understood that because no other movement welcomes people who don’t agree with the basic principles or who behave in ways that completely undermine what the group is trying to do.
One of the biggest problems is the inclusion of men in pretty much all feminisms, including radical feminism. Most feminists are partnered heteros, and many are mothers of sons. How can you see and accept basic truths about an oppressor class when you are willingly fucking one or more of them and acting as a servant to at least one of them in multiple ways? In any other movement, this would not be a question inspiring the kind of rage that women direct at people like me for simply asking them to self-analyze. Heck, this type of question probably wouldn’t even come up. Imagine someone asking the following: How can you eat a steak every night and work in an abattoir an call yourself a vegan activist? Well, imagine defining veganism as “whatever the fuck you want it to be”, and I guess these behaviours would be totally cool and the question would come off as irrational.
So like I said, there is no confusion about whether you are walking the talk if you adopt a clear and simple set of principles like in gynocentrism and female separatism.
Putting It All Together
I’m not going to give explicit answers to the how-questions listed above, but I’ll tell you what works for me in approaching these types of issues.
First, keep it simple. Simple definitions, simple principles, simple reasons. If you encounter things that include too much, involve complicated or vague or euphemistic language, or seem to involve reasoning that doesn’t jibe with what you are seeing happen, there is probably something wrong.
Second, anti-woman activities and behaviours are always more popular and approved of than pro-woman stuff. A case in point: my most watched video in the Alphabet Series has received 259 views. Make-up tutorials get millions and millions. Guess which videos are pro-male/pro-patriarchy?
Third, pro-male patriarchal women as well as pro-male feminist women do harm to women as a class by diverting time, money, energy and resources to men. Gynocentric and female separatist behaviour helps women as a class. Even if you are very selective in whom you help or associate with, your assistance ultimately helps women as a class. Never let any feminist or activist make you feel like you are biased or mean. You may actually be helping women more than they do, and besides, at the end of the day, your energy and resources are yours to allocate according to your principles.
Finally, you absolutely can be critical of anti-woman female behaviour without devolving into misogyny. You can also feel angry and disappointed with women who betray and harm other women, including you. Channel the rage into man-hate – they are the main reason these women are so damaged. Support your critiques, if you choose to voice them, with evidence and logical arguments. And don’t launch ad feminem attacks by calling women stupid, even if their behaviour may indeed be stupid. If you can, find other women you can talk to about your specific experiences. Most of the time, you’ll end up realizing that what you’re feeling isn’t true hate, but frustration. But frustration can fester without a healthy outlet and chance to speak freely without judgment. And that is why men put so much effort into isolating women and policing them when they manage to congregate. You see, they depend on keeping us feeling like we hate each other.
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Tits Out: An Observation
I live in Eastern Europe/Western Asia – not really sure how to define it. All I know is that it is a surreal part of the world that I didn’t learn anything about growing up, and I certainly never fathomed ending up here when I became aware of it. But as rich foreigners increasingly infiltrate Western countries, single, childless women – especially those without financially-supportive family – are increasingly forced to look elsewhere in order to survive. I meet more and more women like me every year, and I think it’s only going to get worse. Indeed, I work online 7 days a week, and I still can’t afford to live in my home country of Canada, so off to other places I must go. Verging on digressing, I know, but everything I discuss here today is all about misogyny, whether it is being a disenfranchised, lone woman, or an ‘owned’ heterosexual woman exchanging sex and service for orbited privilege. Only men win in this world.
So yesterday, I ventured out into this weird little city that I’ve been hunkered down in for over a year to pick up some vegetables, and on my way back, I was met with a sad and sort of shocking scenario. Normally, I don’t pay much attention to what people are wearing. It’s not that I don’t appreciate style, it’s that I don’t really care. One of the few things I like about where I live is that it is one of the most unfashionable countries I’ve ever been to. I’ll amend that a bit – the women think they are fashionable, but they really aren’t, and I get a lot of disgusted, head-to-toe-to-head looks from the local women when they pass me on the street – me and my no-nonsense trousers and modest accessories. Funnily, no matter where I live, I never do ‘woman-face’ correctly.
But yesterday, here is what happened. So I’m trudging home with my bags of onions, garlic, mushrooms, zucchini and tomatoes in 35 degree heat (it hits 45 in August, ugh), and I vaguely registered an old man passing me with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. I pay little attention to males in public other than to know exactly where they are in my personal space orbit, and whether they pose more of a threat than any and all males do at any given moment. A few seconds later, several paces behind him stumbled an old woman with a very vacant look on her face. Women, I pay attention to as fellow humans. It took me a moment to process what I was seeing. She was wearing colourless rags, and I couldn’t really figure out the individual pieces of the ensemble, but I realized, to my great surprise, that she was mostly naked on top, one withered breast exposed to the world. I stopped in my tracks to take in the scene and to see what other locals around us would do. A few people noticed and did nothing – perhaps this kind of thing is normal around here? Haven’t seen it before – naked homeless dudes in other countries, yes. Women, not so much. I turned and saw that the man had already stopped a woman on the sidewalk. He must have been asking for money. His female companion caught up to him.
What struck me is that no one seemed concerned that the woman was exposed, including the woman’s owner. And this is an extremely religious country with lots of rules about women’s evil body parts, what should be covered and when the covering should occur. But note here that I’m not talking about being offended by naked breasts or that women’s bodies are problems or something. What I’m saying is that women are vulnerable in this world because of their bodies and because of the fact that males have designed every corner of this earth to punish women for having female bodies. A naked female body is an invitation for one kind of assault or another, either to punish her or to use her or both. Heck, you can be very modestly dressed and still be the target of male assault, but complying with feminine clothing as well as public nudity are generally seen as permission and an invitation for male attention. Women don’t understand this, generally – the relationship between compliance and male violence and that actions have real implications and don’t exist in a vacuum. To assume that you can do what you do for ‘other’ or ‘personal’ reasons doesn’t divorce you from male attention. They don’t care what your intentions are.
Anyhow, I watched the scene for a few moments and felt reasonably sure that nothing immediately bad was going to happen. This was likely a homeless couple, possibly suffering from age-related cognitive problems. I have to assume that, being such a religious country, the church provides some kind of assistance to the needy. The government situation is a bit of a mess. When I run into stuff like this, I am of very mixed minds. I don’t help men – ever – and I am very picky, based on past bad experiences, about the females I assist. I know there are those who would disagree with me about selectivity, and that is fine. I am just very economical about where I spend my very limited gynergy.
Needless to say, this was a sad scene that left a very bad aftertaste. Owned heterosexual women, generally have great potential for perks in life that single women and lesbians never have, but I also think that the depths to which hetero women can sink are far, far greater. Heterosexuality, for women, is like a high-reward, but very high-risk investment opportunity. Every day, I more firmly believe that female separatism is the only way to female dignity and freedom.
G is for Gynocentrism
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
This post is sure to get me called ‘mean’ by other women, mostly women who call themselves ‘feminists’, and to me, that is a great indicator that I’m speaking a truth that hits a little too close to home. In other words, this is the mark of a successful post. ‘Mean’, when used in these situations, tends to end up being tone or language policing of clear or blunt words, as I try my best not to infantilize women by denying their role in their own oppression or using euphemisms to downplay the ridiculousness of behaviours and situations. And calling feminists ‘mean’ can also be a standard and unintelligent way of coping with the cognitive dissonance associated with knowing on some level that, despite proclaiming to be a feminist, one’s own behaviour is harmful to women as a class. In fact, I’m not a mean person at all, and I actually regularly self-examine and give up behaviours that I consider to be harmful to females. So I don’t take name-calling or ad feminem attacks by other women seriously at all. I think that being ‘nice’ goes hand in hand with telling lies. Both are a waste of energy and accomplish little, even if you end up making people feel good about their poor and sometimes stupid and harmful-to-others choices. Being critical in order to analyze nonsense is not mean; being an asshole for no reason other than to cause havoc, is.
So what, pray tell, is going to rattle women today? Well, I’m going to propose that feminism that doesn’t centre women is not feminism. When I write and then read this, it sounds obvious and ridiculous that I should even need to argue this at all. But it is amazing how many women will promote the most woman-hating of behaviours and call it ‘feminism’. And they are not a mentally disturbed minority, but the oversensitive and fragilely constructed majority. I’ll also even go so far as to say that anything that doesn’t centre female liberation from males isn’t really feminism either. Enough with “What about the men?” The question that nobody ever asks, but should, is: “What about the women and girls?” Can you believe that that is not the central question in most feminist theory or practice these days? Mindboggling.
All this is to say that today, G is for Gynocentrism.
The fact that most people don’t know what this word is, let alone find it in mainstream sociopolitical philosophy or movements is a testament to our poor education systems, the enforced mandate to be ‘inclusive’ in feminism, and the fact that our psychological and material realities reflect something else entirely: androcentrism. Here is a very simple definition of gynocentrism:
It is a dominant or exclusive focus on females in theory or practice.
Some definitions try to include stuff about femininity or a ‘feminine perspective’, but I won’t include it here as gender has no place in gynocentrism or true feminism, and I have no idea what a ‘feminine perspective’ is except that you probably have to apply lipstick before expressing your point-of-view in a sexy, pouty, TikTok video sort of way.
There also seems to be the belief that gynocentrism is just the opposite of androcentrism, which likely comes from the limited male perspective that females aren’t their own entities, but just male wannabes. While androcentrism can also be called patriarchy, I wouldn’t say that gynocentrism is the matriarchy of male testerical fantasy. Gynocentrism is not the opposite of androcentrism. What men do is all about domination and hierarchy and creating slave classes and disenfranchising groups and causing and perpetuating suffering and violence. And you’ll notice that all of this is present in every single sociopolitical system that men have ever devised, including those claiming to make people equal. In fact, some of the most violent and unfair systems men have created were those borne of the quest for equality in society. Men don’t believe in equality. It’s not part of their DNA. Interestingly, a lot of people, including some feminists, think women can be just as violent as men, and of course, this is nonsense. If that were true, we’d have destroyed male power long ago and established some sort of similar dictatorship-matriarchy, because although women are not physically stronger than men, they are actually naturally smarter, more organized, more patient and more strategic than men, and brains always win over brawn if you’re playing the long game. As well, what we aren’t is more violent or psychopathic than men. So no, gynocentrism is not androcentrism, but with tits and twats on top. That’s just not how we roll, genetically speaking. Rather, I see it as separation or separatism, first and foremost. Then, it is about peace, learning, co-existence with the natural world, and progress stemming from logic-based sustainability, rather than greed-based, uncontrolled and unlimited growth.
Now, before you accuse me of idealism, I’ll say that I don’t believe women could sever ties from males today en masse and magically create a feminist utopia. I believe that so much would have to happen before women could ever create a high-functioning female-only society, and it would likely take generations, although not for lack of trying. Today’s women and girls are so severely damaged and brainwashed and immersed in male filth and violence that I don’t think it is possible to heal completely in one’s lifetime, even if one managed to magically live completely separately from patriarchal influence, including other damaged people. Further, there is epigenetic inheritance evidence that experienced trauma can be passed on to offspring. While it is acknowledged that this inheritance affects how our cells function, but doesn’t cause permanent changes to DNA, the field is so new that we don’t know how the effects can be remedied. All this is to say that for women to be natural and thriving, not just surviving – meaning undamaged by patriarchy and living in a pro-health, female-focused way – the sociopolitical world would have to undergo massive structural change. That’s not to say that adopting gynocentrism and, naturally, by extension, female separatism, isn’t worth pursuing. Not at all. I just think it will end up being a personal and political health choice. For some, a matter of life and death. For others, the only option that makes sense. It’s not easy and it can be lonely, but it is what needs to be done in order for women to be free.
The Second Wave: The Zenith before the Plummet into Slut Feminism
The Western feminists of the Second Wave got it. I mean, they really got it. They were single-minded, focused on women, extraordinarily hard-working and generous. They did consciousness raising. They built communities. Many created a world where they could live as separately as possible from men. They made the personal political, and they made life choices based on those beliefs. And these choices weren’t sacrifices or suffering in their minds. They were natural and logical. And necessary. You absolutely don’t see that today, or at least it’s rare. I don’t think most young women can understand what it means that the personal is political, or that most of what constitutes ‘identity’ these days is constructed, or that what you do can affect other women negatively. I think women spend a lot of time making excuses for their selfish and woman-hating choices, and they tend to focus superficially, but loudly, on the easy stuff that doesn’t require lifestyle or thinking style changes. Most don’t really want to self-examine too closely because they’d have to deal with serious ethical and philosophical mismatches in their lives. I wish we could all teleport back to the time of the Second Wave if only to be inspired and enlightened and to see what is possible for women. I find a lot of today’s so-called feminists criticize the hell out of Second Wave feminists for one stupid thing or another – usually ad feminem attacks involving being white or educated or middle class or anti-sex or something made up, clearly showing how far women have fallen intellectually since the Second Wave. I find it embarrassing, but not surprising. Critical thinking is not encouraged these days, and it is amazing how often women read an article or book and completely miss the point, choosing instead, to focus on things that fail to fit their own personal and limited experience of the world.
From what I’ve gathered, once the diversity and inclusivity movement coupled with the pro-male, sex-positivity movement started to gain momentum, the Second Wave was dismantled. It’s sad that men always win, and the loudest women show themselves to be very, very stupid, or perhaps lazy is the better word. I think most women end up giving in to male demands and pretending it is feminism because it is so much harder to do what is needed to be free. It is so much easier to become a slut than a human, for women.
The Diversity/Inclusivity and Intersectional Feminist Movements
I remember for kicks, a few hundred years back, I watched the entire Six Feet Under television series. I’ll sum it up as follows: I’ve never cheered the death of a male character more than I did Nate Fisher’s. But it was short-lived; like with a poorly functioning toilet, the turd kept coming back again and again. And annoyingly, in the form of hallucinations. I won’t go into endless detail about him, but let’s just say, if the picture dictionary had an entry for Liberal White Male, this fuck’s picture would be there. Anyhow, there was this episode in Season 2 where the pathetic, uber-Martyr, housewife-mother-monster, Ruth, has one of her frequent uncomfortable interactions with her self-hating daughter – this time, about feminism. It’s sad and maddening and really typical of how feminism is approached today, thanks to intersectionalism, its spawn, inclusivity, and the post-modernist movement. Feminism is whatever you want it to be, which means it’s meaningless.
Ruth says: “Feminism means being accepted for who you are.” What the fuck does that even mean?
One of the most negative and damaging outcomes of the whole forced diversity, inclusivity and intersectional movement is the watering down and sometimes even the complete eradication of potentially very powerful groups, systems, and frameworks. See my 2016 post on what I call the Ice Cube Effect – the watering down of feminism. See also my 2016 post on the problems with intersectional feminism. Inclusivity and post-modern thinking have also depoliticized key political issues for women as a class, namely sex and sexuality, while politicizing nonsense such as identity and emotions. This is a time of censorship. A time where feminists spend more time attacking each other, and especially major feminists of the Second Wave, than they do men – the actual oppressors. I expect non-feminist women to be assholes, but I hear time and time again from women who seem to be on the right track, that they are more often attacked by other women who call themselves ‘feminists’ than by anyone else. It is very strange that this new focus on diversity and inclusivity and intersectionality has resulted in less freedom, more silencing of female voices, and more in-group distrust and abuse. I think this is a very complicated issue that deserves a separate post, but suffice it to say that today’s Western women, especially white women, experience more propaganda and gaslighting about their own experiences than do people in the China I worked in for nearly a decade. I wonder whether Western women are less free than they have been in a long, long time, and end up venting their frustrations on each other because they are not allowed to speak about real problems in a public forum. I think Western feminism, if you can even call it that, needs a very serious paring down and needs to return to its basic roots: a focus on women, or gynocentrism.
At this point, feminism, like Ruth Fisher put it, is a free for all. You don’t actually have to follow any kind of philosophy, framework or guiding principles to be a ‘feminist’. You just have to be a female. And these days, you don’t even have to be a female. A woman has an opinion, and she is a feminist. A television show has a female lead character, and it’s a feminist show, regardless of the content or message. A woman puts on make-up with a fierce intensity, and she is a feminist. A woman devotes herself to housewifery and propping up a male’s career, and she’s a feminist. Do whatever the hell you want! Call it feminism. Anyone can join the club! And to question it these days is mean and disrespectful and grounds for censorship and ostracism. No other sociopolitical movement is so lax, so inclusive. Blacks don’t invite the KKK to their activism. Vegans don’t welcome meat-eaters and hunters to their tofu-socials. But feminism can be whatever you want it to be, even if it hurts women and girls and benefits oppressors: men. At this point, do you understand why gynocentrism is necessary to true feminism? Jeez, I hope so…
I do intend to write something more comprehensive on this topic, but I’ll end this post by saying the following. Real feminism, gynocentrism, can save your life. It’s not easy. It requires hard work, a lot of self-examination and life changes. But it is comforting in the way that a blazing wood fire is at the end of a long, cold day in the woods on a winter’s day, which perhaps only a true Northern person can understand. But I’ve always believed that nothing worthwhile comes without a fight or dedication. And I don’t mean suffering or sacrifice. I mean the kind of effort that kicking an addiction might entail.
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Fell in Love With a Girl
Fell in love with a girl
I fell in love once and almost completely
She’s in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
She turns and says, “Are you alright?”
I said, “I must be fine ’cause my heart’s still beating”The White Stripes
Once every couple of years, I fall in love with a girl, or I suppose woman is the better word. And perhaps love is not the best word to use because I don’t think I believe in love, much in the way that I don’t believe in happiness. I don’t believe in constant states. I believe in outliers and their undue influence – we tend to remember extremes and they colour our memories of the past and general impressions of the current state of things. More specifically, a few spectacularly great experiences are likely to make us overestimate how great life is, and conversely, a series of equally spectacularly horrible experiences is likely to darken our perception of our state of affairs. So, I’ve found it better to appreciate moments, positive or negative, for what they are, and in this way, I don’t have to pretend that things that don’t truly exist are real. (Guess why I could never be religious, even at an early age…?)
I’m meandering down some path I didn’t intend to, so let’s trot back to the trailhead. So yeah, every so often, I meet a woman that I ‘fall in love with’ briefly. I think I used to fall hard when I was younger, but as Jack White said above, “Sometimes these feelings can be so misleading.” And I learned. See, it’s never an available person that I fall for – and no, I don’t intentionally create these situations so that I have an excuse not to ‘commit’ to someone. It’s just that the women I tend to be attracted to seldom meet the crucial criteria for relationship-making.
First, they are almost always ‘straight’. Yeah, I put that in quotes. I don’t believe in heterosexuality for women. I remember watching Todo Sobre Mi Madre back in 1999, and one of the characters (I think one of the drag queens, actually, which sullies the sentiment and turns it into a bit of a joke, but whatever…) comments something to that extent – that all women have a bit of lesbian in them. And I would have completed the thought by saying that almost all women have the lesbian stamped and shamed out of them early in life. All this is to say that I’m attracted to women whose inborn lesbian shines like a beacon, despite the hetero life they are living and whatever their expressed feelings about lesbians are.
Another issue is age. I keep forgetting how old I am. I don’t live a life typical of a woman my age, my heart is young despite any wisdom gained from experience, and I seldom get to meet or spend time with my age group because of my lifestyle and mindset. So I either tend to meet women who are a lot older or a lot younger, and while I am fine with cross-generational friendship, I don’t think romantic relationships between people with large age gaps are appropriate. I don’t like power imbalances, and age can be a major source of imbalance and resulting creepiness. Not quite as bad between women as it is between men and women, I think, but still… I have principles and comfort levels that are derived from those principles.
The other major issue is values/beliefs. Even if I were to meet an age-appropriate lesbian, it would be hard to meet someone who puts women first, who is a female separatist, who isn’t in the mother-worship cult, who isn’t anti-white, and who sees the trans bullshit for what it is – an anti-woman, anti-lesbian, conservative, rape-apologist, male-energy-driven shit-show.
And finally, I’m looking for a companion, not someone who espouses straight thinking on what relationships should be (sex-driven: no sex = no relationship). That doesn’t mean an aphysical relationship – physical affection is great from my point of view. I think not wanting to touch or be touched is a sign of some very serious trauma. But I’m not looking for a fuck-buddy. I think I’ve had enough of that in my life, and it didn’t provide or solve much for me. Bottom line is it’s hard to imagine meeting a woman like myself ideologically who also wants a companion.
All of this is to say that I’ve fallen in love again, and it is another go-nowhere situation, sadly. I’ve found myself in a difficult (workwise), but otherwise socially interesting situation. I’m working in a girls’ school (one of the reasons I jumped at the job offer – I really hate teaching boys…), and almost all of the teaching staff and most of the administration are female. And it is culturally quite different from my native homeland and China, where lived for so long. In North America, females are physically rather cold to one another. It varies greatly, but generally, as a culture, there is a huge anti-lesbian sentiment, and that drives the stigma against excessive physical contact between women. China is much worse in some ways. While girls and women can hold hands if they are family or close friends, it is not a physically affectionate culture, generally speaking. They don’t hug, and they certainly don’t kiss in an affectionate way like many other cultures. I actually like physical affection. I’m touchy, although I’ve learned to be hyper-aware of modern Western hypersensitivity, so I’ve probably become more reserved over the years.
Where I currently live and work (it’s the same thing, currently…), physical affection abounds. It is refreshing – I feel like I’ve had to bottle myself up for so many years, in the uptight places I’ve found myself. But it is very multicultural here, AND it is also extremely sex-segregated. The few males that work at my school have separate rooms for working and eating, which is Awesome with a capital A, and likely due to Muslim values in this area. It’s funny to think that I agree with this very traditional way of thinking, and we might actually agree with the reasoning for the segregation on some levels, but at the same time, I would probably be fired if they found out I wasn’t straight and that I think that women are superior to men in all ways, and that all males should be microchipped at birth… Now, I can’t speak for how things work with the men at my workplace, but among the women, I’d say that the female affection mostly comes from the local people and what appears to be strong Turkish influence. I don’t get the impression that the locals of Russian heritage are driving it – they seem to be cold in the way that North Americans generally are, but I’ll admit that I know little about Russian culture, in general. It just seems cold to me and reminiscent of home.
Of all the people with whom I work – and as I said, we are rather multicultural – the Turkish women are my favourites. They are exuberant, kind, welcoming and confident. And as you may have guessed, I’ve fallen for one of them. She is closer to my age, and while not what I’d call beautiful in a traditional way, walks with a confidence and energy that is just sexy and I just want to be around it and her. And we click. She has a sense of humour, and I think she likes the weirdo in me (the comfortably conservative of the women at my workplace, on the other hand, are comfortably uncomfortable with my energy – nothing unexpected or new there). I really wish I could spend time with this lovely woman, but she is married with children. Just my luck. I’ll just have to appreciate the moment while it lasts and for what it is.
Perhaps my next job should be in Turkey…
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I is for Innocence
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
I’m only willing to hear you cry
Because I am an innocent man
Billy Joel
Well, that was a creepy and patronizing lyric from Billy Joel’s An Innocent Man – the flagship Not All Men! song – where Mr. Joel chastises a woman for not spreading her legs for him because some man in her past abused her and she is still traumatized. This is the ubiquitous shaming that all women brainwashed from birth into mandatory heterosexuality go through throughout their lives. How DARE you not trust a male not to rape you, beat you, shame you, degrade you, use you, or kill you! How dare you shut down the fuck machine after being raped! You must have a victim mentality, or you are just fucking crazy or something. He is saying: “How DARE you include ME in a group of people (males) who has, for every second of every day for MILLENNIA, oppressed women and girls on the basis of sex. I am a Good ManTM – an Innocent Man.” Notice, though, that the Innocent Man here doesn’t feel sympathy or empathy for the woman. Rather, he is telling the abused female that she should feel grateful that he is tolerating her lady-bullshit because he is not, in his opinion, a rapist or abuser. Magnanimity or what?!? But the subtext is that, of course, he wants his needs served by this whiny bitch because he has likely dropped a reasonable amount of time, attention and cash on her. Maybe he’ll be so good as to let her cry for 5 more minutes before he really loses his shit.
Sorry, buddy. Not a single one of you is innocent of oppressing females, even self-righteous gay dudes. Even an oppressed male has at least one female under his boot. Woman and girl abuse is built into the patriarchal system of every country and culture in the history of the world.
So, today, I is for Innocence. This post is part of the on-going Alphabet Series.
A few months ago, I put some feelers out on saidit.net amongst the small blackpilled crowd there to inspire some feedback on the topic (you can check out my saidit post and the various comments here). There are some very intelligent women there, as well as some real woman-haters, and as expected, I got some feedback from the former, while the latter ignored me completely, as they always do 😉 So, a shout out to ahhale, lilith, CosmicFarmPrisoner, and tallowcandle for their intelligence and contributions. I’ll make some references to points they’ve made throughout this post, but leave the general attributions and thanks here.
There were so many great I-words to choose from. I selected Innocence a while ago, and I can’t remember what in particular inspired that choice, but I considered a few others. I is also for irrational, which is one of the many, many characteristics that describes males well, but that is always projeted onto females as a sign of their ‘deficiency’. I is also for illogical (ditto on the projection); irresponsible (um, ditto), ignorant (ditto, and I covered this topic a bit in two 2015 posts: Naiveté, Stupidity, and Ignorance, and in Well Read and Willfully Ignorant); impotence (male ‘problems’, oh no!!!); and inclusion (touched on in my Alphabet post on Diversity). And since this writing two years ago, I’ve added I is for Identity, Individualism and Infantilization – check them out on my YouTube channel or my website.
Anyhow, I’ll do the following here today. I’ll define innocence (according to men), and talk about it in terms of the legal system (designed by men), and moral system (designed by men), and I’ll dig into why this is such an important central, but mostly ignored, theme in male domination. And by the end, we’ll be abe to conclude whether this is even a useful concept for women.
Male-Defined Innocence
If you look up the word ‘innocent’, you get the following:
- the state, quality, or fact of not being guilty of a crime or offence;
- the state of not having responsibility for or direct involvement in an event, yet suffering its consequences;
- naiveté; purity, or the lack of guile or corruption; and
- used euphemistically to refer to a person’s virginity
So, we’ve got the realms of legality, morality, and sex. And they are not mutually exclusive, nor are they applied equally to males and females, which is only because males control language and the realms where it is used. The legal system, including in places where lawyers are over-abundant and yet continue to earn more than most people, is still a joke, relying not so much on evidence, as on rhetoric and perception and the skill with which they can be manipulated. Moral systems, STILL mostly based on the whole caveman level “man good, woman evil” way of thinking and STILL protected by circa Dark Age religious and supersitious, anti-woman conventions, ensure that the concept of ‘innocence’ in the non-legal sense, is an intrinsic part of every culture. And the whole virginity and sex thing, which applies SOLELY to females, and is propped up by moral (religious/superstitious) traditions, even in places where religion in the conventional sense doesn’t have a presence.
So let’s dig in.
1) Innocence, Legally-Speaking
the state, quality, or fact of not being guilty of a crime or offence
Now, I’m not going to attempt to do justice to this area of innocence. While I am a qualified librarian at the post-graduate level, and I did take a course in law librarianship, I am decidedly not a lawyer. I don’t have much interest in, and certainly no faith in the formal legal system. I’m more of a ‘vigilante justice’ proponent, myself, when it comes to dealing with male crimes, especially because males are seldom held accountable for the shit they do to women and girls. Male guilt, even when we know the scrote is 100% guilty, is seldom punished because of how legal systems are designed. Canada, like some countries, presumes innocence until guilt is proved ‘beyond a reasonable doubt’. And this holds even if we know damn well a male is guilty because he is caught raping in the act or he was stupid and arrogant enough to record himself raping someone on video and then posted it online. Often, there are technicalities or rhetorical manipulations that interfere with achieving justice. Facts and truth don’t really matter. And here we get at the difference between ‘legal innocence’ and ‘actual innocence’. If a male is found to be legally innocent (aka ‘not guilty’) of a crime, it just means the prosecution wasn’t able to convince verdict-deciders of guilt. He may not have ‘actual innocence’ (aka he did the crime), but for one reason or another, the justice system failed yet another female victim, just as it was meant to. In crimes against women, male innocence usually comes down to ‘he said, she said’ as well as our social contract not to ‘ruin a man or boy’s life’ after he has ruined the life of a woman or girl.
Another murky area centres on mental competence. To be deemed competent, such that a person can stand trial, an accused has to have an understanding of how the law works and the difference between right and wrong. And we determine competence all the time both inside and outside of court rooms. And it is problematic because even if you can show that a perpetrator isn’t fully able to understand what is going on, he can still be dangerous and a massive future threat to women and girls. We see this with, say, the mentally retarded and mentally ill, drunk or drugged-up males, and with boys under the age of majority in the location of the crime. The hoi polloi will generally gift males in these categories with automatic ‘innocence’ designations, and you’ll get the usual bullshit about the need for educating or supporting or rehabilitating the deficient in question, which of course, never has and never will work.
In the court room, it is really hit or miss. Legal experts tell us that it is very difficult for someone to successfully be excused from regular court procedings on the basis of mental health interference. I don’t know. This might be true. Men try it all the time. We just had a case in Canada, where Armenian-Iranian, autistic, publicly self-admitted incel, Alek Minassian, tried to sidestep criminal responsibility for driving his van into a crowd of women in Toronto and killing 10 people. He tried out the whole “autism made me do it!!! Waaaaah!!! I’m innocent!!!” gambit. But in a strange stroke of luck, the courts decided the autism didn’t cause the mass murder (um, no kidding…). He has been sentenced for 10 counts of first-degree murder and 16 counts of attempted murder. One victim has since died. Apparently, we know he understands right and wrong because of his online rants about killing women. Men tell us all the time that hate thoughts and hate speech don’t lead to hate crimes. Yeah right. Anyhow, the female judge was, in my opinion, lenient. Minassian was given a life sentence with a chance at parole after 25 years. He was given 20 years for the attempted murders, although they are to be served concurently, which is pointless. So this means that this human garbage will likely be out in public at the age of 50, vigourous enough to kill more women. I love liberal, woman-hating Canada.
Another little story, as I’m feeling all digressy today – an amusing bit of racism (legal? who knows?) I experienced in Taiwan years ago. I was at the end of a job interview, and the interviewer offered me a position and let me know that they would be withholding several months of my pay. I looked at her and asked “Why?” (my favourite question). She explained that foreigners couldn’t be trusted, so they felt justified in holding their legally-earned compensation hostage until they decided they felt ‘safe’. I replied with “Guilty until proven innocent?” She smiled at the smart, white monkey, and said, “Yes.” I stood up, said, “Thank you,” and left her office without another word. She literally called me more than 20 times a day for a few weeks, which, I discovered is a strangely common ‘thing’ with the Taiwanese, who are an unexpectedly aggressive and nasty culture of people. I never answered her call once and eventually, she went away. If you ever decide to work in Taiwan, be warned. They are racist as fuck, and can smell innocence of the third type from a mile away.
2) The Sticky Spot – Are Women Responsible for the Suffering of Females as a Class?
Still within the realm of the law, but also ethics, and which is also sometimes murky as hell is determining the role of a victim in crimes against herself, her children, or other females. And I reference the second part of the definition of innocence:
the state of not having responsibility for or being directly involved in an event, yet suffering its consequences
I think a lot of people confuse the concepts of responsibility and deservedness when considering female innocence, so I’ll start off by saying that females don’t cause male violence, nor do they ever, ever deserve male violence, even if they themselves are the worst kind of human. I’d prefer female crimes against women and girls to be dealt with within a council solely consisting of objective women, but that is just a fantasy I have.
But can we answer the question of whether females support and contribute to the system of male violence? Absolutely. Think of it this way: if women fought back against males as a group, patriarchy wouldn’t exist as the formidible system that it is. As it is, women tend to accept and enable what males do, and even actively harm other women and girls in order to gain approval from men. So there is definitely a major responsibility that most women refuse to take for perpetuating a bad situation. Participating in heterosexuality, femininity, breeding, enabling sons and hobbling daughters are the top ways to ensure that violence against all women and girls continues. All of this behaviour is political, meaning that actions have meaning and implications for others. Your behaviour doesn’t exist in a vacuum. And most important is not you, individually, but the fact that your male-supporting behaviour harms little girls who have no choice about their birth into patriarchy, and lesbians and women who don’t particpate in heterosexuality, but who do so much of the hetero cleaning and patching up. The only way to stop men is to deny their supply of pussy and emotional, intellectual and physical gynergy. If you are supporting male systems, you are not truly innocent of crimes against females as a class. But like I said, you also don’t deserve male violence. Is this clear? Please take responsibility for the harms you aid and abet, even if you are not the one holding the gun, so to speak.
3) Innocence, Morally- and Experientially-Speaking
naivité, purity, or the lack of guile or corruption
I’m going to try not to venture into the sex stuff in this section, even though, for females only, moral innocence is entwined with sex. Males define females as sex and sex parts and sex servicers, primarily, so it makes sense that female ‘innocence’ cannot be separated from sex.
Thanks mostly to the religions of the world, innocence is a central theme of childhood (again, I’m going to try not to touch on pedophiles here in this section – well maybe a little). There is this strange, magical or ethereal quality attached to the ‘innocence of a child’, perhaps because it is human to have regrets, and regret tends to result from wearing rose-coloured glasses and the normal failures of memory to recall things accurately. Part of this mystical childhood innocence, of course, stems from adult male fascination with possession and destruction, and pedophelia is all about control and power and revelling in causing suffering. What could be sexier to a male than possessing and destroying a magical being? Anyhow, philosophers, psychologists and others attempt to describe this quality called ‘innocence’ as various things from the objective, untainted perspective children have, to a filtering mechanism allowing the individual to engage or disengage with topics of uncertainty. I find it all a bit bizarre, myself, but then again, I don’t wax poetic about my childhood or childhood in general. It wasn’t magical, and I was happy to leave it behind.
In some camps, there is an implication of sullying when innocence is lost. The idea of pure vs corrupted – and this tends to be associated with entertaining vice of any sort, not just sex – is strongly associated with subjective morality and heavy-handed value judgements. At what point is innocence lost according to most people? It usually depends on the sex of the person, the particular activity engaged in, and sometimes whether the activity was engaged in willingly or unwillingly.
To me, what is called ‘innocence’ is just a lack of life experience. I’m not even going to include education in this because it doesn’t guarantee the gaining of experience or knowledge. And I generally don’t attach any value judgement to innocence. I sometimes run into normal-intelligence adult people who seem to me to lack a basic understanding of things that most adults seem to/should know about. So sometimes, I start to wonder whether people really are just inexperienced, perhaps a little clueless because of personality or specific aspects of cognitive ability, or just willingly ignorant. Personally, I like people who are willing to try something/anything once (unless it involves infringing upon others’ rights) and to learn from that boundary-pushing. I don’t think you can talk about things you haven’t experienced with any kind of credibility, so perhaps I do have some value judgement in that I think ‘innocent’ people aren’t really that interesting or useful or able to contribute to learning/teaching/problem-solving. But I don’t find most moralizing all that helpful – I think I get by better than most using my very simple principle of trying not to trample on others’ rights – something akin to the religious ‘golden rule’ that, ironically, most religious people completely fail to achieve in the most basic of ways.
4) Innocence, Sexually-Speaking
used euphemistically to refer to a person’s virginity
Okay, as the definition was taken from a typical male dictionary, we see reference to ‘person’ when we know damned well that the ‘people’ whose virginity matters is female people. In some places and times, a male might be criticized for still being sexually innocent – he should be out raping like there is no tomorrow, right? But he isn’t cast out of society or devalued in a serious way if he hasn’t raped by a certain age. For females, however, their cunts define their basic value as a person, and once that hole has been filled, their value plummets. Their ‘innocence’ is lost. (Shit, is ‘innocence’ just a hole? she jests…) I wonder, more seriously, in the case of female virginity, whether innocence is another way of saying ‘lack of suffering’. I truly believe that once exposed to the demands of males, females’ lives become infinitely worse in so many ways.
There may be justification in rooting the concept of female sexual innocence, not only in religion, but in pedophelia. Males have always been obsessed with conquering, controlling, and taking things away from females, including possessions, bodily autonomy, ideas and products they create, and in this discussion, their lack of exposure to suffering (or ‘innocence’). It is something to think more on. I also have noted that many pedophiles (and rapists of adult women, for that matter) have insisted on their own legal/moral innocence by implying that the female child or adult woman was the guilty and/or beguiling party. It wasn’t rape because the little girl or woman begged for it, or even worse, made them do it. Um no.
The idea of ‘soiling’ a female has been a concept, well… forever. It still is in most parts of the world. In more ‘liberated’ places, there may be constraints placed on level of soiling, depending on how many dicks have come a-knocking, or at what age virginity was lost, whether soiling was done by rape-rape or consensual rape (aka consensual sex), etc. But the common theme across time and place is that dick devalues women and girls. Now notice that the filth is caused by the presence of the penis – this is what has always confused me. If the penis is the cause of the contamination, then why isn’t the penis vilified? A female is ‘clean’ until the filth touches her, and then she is forever tainted biologically, socially, and sometimes, financially. Shouldn’t all males, simply by having a filthy penis (including newborn babies, logically) be vilified, devalued and cast out? I daringly posed this question to a group of high school girls I was teaching in Central Asia, and I got some vigourous head nods from a handful of them. It was encouraging.
But all of this makes sense to me. I am female separatist and therefore make my decisions based on logic and ethical reasoning as much as I possibly can. If you want to keep your body free from sexual disease, male violence, and other problems, you need to stay completely away from cock altogether. I mean, it is a no-brainer. Males spread disease and cause other problems for women’s and girls’ systems. So I do devalue the penis, based on facts and logic. But to maintain their power, males must rely on lies and illogic. Smoke and mirrors. And completely simplistic, dichotomous thinking. Virgin/whore. Pure/tainted. False dichotomies represent the world in which women live, and the very thin (imaginary) lines between male-constructed lady-categories maintain male power in the following ways:
a) They put women into unnatural and alien dichotomous categories (neither of which is actually a good place to be) based on factors usually completely beyond female control;
b) They use these categories to morally, and often legally, justify a whole range of horrific treatment against women, including rape and other sexual abuse, physical abuse, denial of economic opportunity, incarceration, torture, and death;
c) They pit women in different categories against each other to prevent any possibility of female solidarity (i.e., threat to male power).
Conclusion
Do women need the concept of ‘innocence’ as it pertains to their own bodies and safety? In my opinion, the answer is a resounding NO! There is no group of females that deserves to be raped or sexually assaulted or vilified because of value-based categories they are forced into by males. And it is a concept that has only served to police women’s behaviour, thoughts, precarious place in society, and their very ability to survive. Away from heterosexuality, innocence has no meaning for women. Even as a concept in the justice system, it would have little use if women could live separately from males. Away from males, women would be involved in so few serious crimes (mostly as victims, but also as perpetrators), that legal proceedings would likely just involve mediation rather than imprisonment. And innocence would have little meaning. And ‘virginity’ would be meaningless. Away from males, I actually think sexual activity would be so much less important or defining than it is when males control the show. So NO! to innocence.
But we all know where our use of ‘NO!‘ has gotten us throughout time.
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This One’ll Be Different
If you want to be a good and effective feminist (jeez, I really need to let go of that word, as it is meaningless today), you have to let go of making exceptions for men. We women are trained from birth to forgive males all their trespasses, give males the benefit of the doubt, give males second chances (and then third and then fourth, ad nauseum), teach males how to be human and allowing them to make their mistakes on our bodies; be patient with their neanderthal ways; keep our mouths shut when they inevitably trample our souls, bodies, and rights into the mud; defend all the shithead males in our lives when they hurt some woman (including us); and most importantly, beat the living shit out of outspoken women who point out male abuses and who demand that something be done.
It is tempting to allow them into our lives because the basic and superficial benefits are manyfold. For most women, males allow a better standard of living than would be possible on one’s own as a woman. Males are also tapped into the Old Boy’s Network, and jobs can be had by orbiting this network as some males throw women a bone if they can’t think of a male who would be suited for the job. Males may also provide services such as moving heavy shit, fixing electronics or toilets (which women are fully capable of learning how to do themselves, by the way), intimidating unwanted outsider male advances or exploitation (aka ‘protection services’), and a whole host of other jobs that males made up to pretend they are absofuckinglutely necessary in our world. So most women keep males around simply because they have created a system and set of beliefs where women don’t do as well without them. Note that women do better psychologically without men, however. That point is never pointed out in the heterosexual world.
One of the other things that makes males more attractive to keep around is the fact that women gravitate towards men and servicing them rather than cultivating serious female friendships. It gets lonely out there and even if you want female friendships, they are very, very hard to achieve, especially as you get older, if you are not in a traditional workplace or school, if you’re are not straight, and if you don’t have children. Some women might consider interacting with men simply to have people to sort of talk to (if it is possible to have an equal give-take conversation with a male. It’s not, imo.)
I wrestled with this very issue the other day. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am extremely socially isolated right now, despite living in a place where I have to share amenities. I barely socialize here, partly by choice and partly because nobody seems to be interested in the few middle-aged or older women living here. So recently, I got back into meetup dot com, which I had been using in the US before The Virus hit. There isn’t a heck of a lot going on for obvious reasons. I just joined a French convo group, although all meetings are online, which is less interesting. And I found a group specifically for people who deliberately don’t have kids. I contacted the organizer to ask whether they were holding any events. The organizer is a young male. We have a few similar interests, including language-learning. Upon writing back, he mentioned that people hadn’t showed much enthusiasm once The Virus was in full swing. And after some online back and forth about languages, he suggested that we could meet one-on-one for an outdoor coffee. I let a few days go by, my instincts, experience, and what I would consider a moral commitment to feminism (female separatism) wrestling with my need to speak to an actual human in person for more than a few minutes in a social context.
Here’s the thing. Males are soooo fucking hard to talk to, in general, once you’ve started deprogramming. Even the ‘nice’ or ‘smart’ ones can be so overbearing. I almost always feel soul-sucked, dominated, and that I have to spend so much more time listening than I get to contribute in the way that men feel they deserve to contribute. I reasoned with myself that it wasn’t worth it to risk being soul-sucked at a time when I am soul-hungry. And of course, sticking to the principles I’ve committed myself to as a female separatist is important. I know I am practically alone in this. Women sell out all time time and become collaborators in patriarchy and misogyny, and reason that they do what they do to ‘survive’ (most of which is usally absolute fucking bullshit, in my opinion). So I may suffer consequences in terms of brain atropy and potential connection-making in a town where I have no connections and barely speak to anyone, but I have to stick to my guns. For me. For women. For principles.
Long story short, after not responding to the invitation for a length of time bordering on rude, I slithered out of a coffee meeting with finesse and a believable excuse. I had learned from the best after all my years in China. The Chinese are expert excuse makers and contract-breakers, and constantly make excuses for not doing what they actually commit to. I think I’ll occasionally talk online with the group organizer about language and other innocuous things until the group feels safe in reconvening once more. Most of the group is actually female, which is inspiring and the only reason why I joined in the first place. One of the only good things about being in the West again is that you can actually meet women your age who are deliberate non-breeders. I didn’t meet a single adult non-breeder in China. They may exist, but they are rare.
Anyhow, before I devolve into an alcohol-fuelled rant about China, I’ll close with this: when it comes to males, it seems you have to weigh your pro-female principles against what you consider to be survival. On many levels, all males are the same – never forget that. The idea that ‘this one’ll be different’ is a fairytale we tell ourselves to justify the easy road we take. They will feed off you, even if it is subtle, and all benefits you think you are getting come at a cost. You make connections with them at your own risk. And of course, every single thing a woman does is political and affects the status and freedom of all other women. Collaborate with men, and you prevent anything from getting better for all women. Really simple, but hard to accept.
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Why Am I More Balanced Without Men?
Oh, the lie that is gender. Before I start, let me get this out of the way. Men and women as sexes are biologically different. There cannot be a concept of ‘equality’ between males and females simply because we are biologically, sexually different. And let me clear that up. You’ll already know what I’m going to say if you’ve read further on this blog.
First, gender is a sociological construct that creates forced, FALSE differences between males and females with the sole purpose of keeping men in power and women’s necks under men’s boots and mindlessly devoted to (enslaved by) them. That is it. The modern idea of replacing the meaningful, factual designation of SEX with gender is nefarious and intentionally done to hurt women and girls. Period. It is part of the po-mo, liberal and trannie movements over the past few decades, with very harmful results.
Second, that males and females are biologically different means something different than the intention of purposeful differentiation of males and females using gender. When I (and all scientific, brain-using people) say that males and females are different, we are not saying (unlike the gender users) that males are superior or that males and females are complementary beings with skill sets that fit together like a puzzle even though ‘female’ traits are still less valued and inferior to males’. No. What I mean is that biologically, males are born with destructive, sadistic, violent tendencies. Biologically, females are not. There are exceptions (like in every fucking evidence-based theory in history). But thousands of years of factual evidence that males commit almost all of the violent, murderous, torture-for-pleasure-based acts in every corner of the earth makes a few exceptions completely irrelevant. What are NOT sex-based differences are valued and undervalued skills. Males and females are born with equally distributed potential for skill development (meaning that math or engineering are not inborn male skills, and childcare and cleaning are not inborn female skills). I do think that some personality traits are more inherent in women, such as empathy and both patient detail and big picture thinking capabilities, and other traits are more common in men, such as psychopathy and limited range, but deep and violent emotionality. And for this reason, women are more likely to accept abuse without violent retaliation, and men are more likely to act violently for little to no reason at all. And also for these biological reasons, women remain under the control of men and men rape, kill, and just generally destroy with impunity and without a second thought as to what they have done. Ha, unless they are caught, and oh the crocodile tears and fake remorse.
But let me get to the question in my title. I’ve probably already indirectly answered it in the previous paragraphs. But I’ll spell it out.
I can’t tell you how many women (never mind the men) who buy into this idea of males and females complementing each other, and thus seeing ‘evidence’ (not evidence in the real sense, but as defined by religion or patriarchal mythology) that males and females need to partner and work together, of course, with females subordinating themselves with their necessary, but inferior skills. I remember, in particular, this horrific conversation I had in China years ago with two brilliant, talented women, one older Chinese and one younger Russian. And both of them, despite their amazingness, firmly believed that women couldn’t do so many of the skills that men could do, especially math. I bristled. I was always top of my class in math, and one of my masters degrees is in a quantitative, statistics-heavy field. But man-fucking as a female requires this kind of brain-dead assessment and self-denigration and belief in incompleteness, I remembered.
I also remembered my days of cowardly bisexuality. The misery of it, feeling my wings clipped, forced into a cage of self-limitation and pretending that the male in my life wasn’t half of what I was a person intellectually, emotionally, and in terms of learning and skills achieved. I remembered the freeing feeling I always had when the relationship inevitably ended after some particularly misogynistic event, like when he ended up raping me, shaming me, taking me for granted, or threatening me. Being alone, single, I realized that I had everything I needed in myself. I was balanced, able to do what I needed. A male was the anchor manacled to my ankle dragging me underwater (I know, I know, I am mixing a bunch of metaphors throughout this post). In essence, ending the hetero prison made me soar in many ways.
Men don’t build you up. They don’t have inherent skills that are barred to you as a woman. You bar yourself from being whole when you choose males. They might initially give you a false sense of being essential in some incomprehensible, womanly way. But over time, you’ll feel the drag. You are no longer soaring through air or across water (pick your metaphor). You are sinking, and fucking exhausted, and wondering why.
You don’t have to be a full-on lesbian to be free. Celibacy or asexuality work as well. You just have to let go of this idea than you need a man to complete you. You are complete when you enter this world. A whole being just from being born female.
Men can’t say that. In fact, they tell us the truth about themselves in so many ways every single day. Hence the need to control us and use us for our innate wholeness, innate balance. They are the incomplete, unbalanced ones, and parasitical at that.
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A Dangerous Woman
When you write about feminist (and I really mean female separatist) issues, you know you are writing about truth, the subjective truths of individual women and the objective truth that is living as a woman in a male-dominated society. Sometimes, you are writing about things that happened to you or other women in the past. Sometimes, you are writing about current events. Sometimes, you are writing about theories, fantasies, and things that could be possible or are definitely not possible in the world as it exists.
When you are out in the real world, you have a mask on. You can’t really talk about what you write or experience or observe. You’ll be gaslit by all men, and the vast majority of straight women. You’ll be verbally and maybe physically attacked. You’ll lose opportunities for jobs, social connections and other things you need to survive. You are a ‘dangerous’ woman, despite how vulnerable you feel. It is possible to be dangerous and vulnerable at the same time. But here’s the thing, the danger you pose is not a real danger like the danger that all men pose to women and girls. It is a perceived danger, and only ideological at that. When you question the status quo – that males run the show and women and girls exist in a state of subservience and suffering at the whim of males – or if you present data that confirm that the status quo is what you say it is, you threaten the male power base. Danger to males means not being able to walk the planet able to do whatever they please with impunity. It is not the same as how females understand danger – bodily harm, sexual threats, isolation, poverty, starvation, death – although males try to equate them or even elevate their idea of danger in importance.
If you’re lucky, you can wear the mask in public and then come home to a place where the mask comes off and you can be yourself and live in relative safety. If you are straight and have chosen to live with a male, you may still wear the mask at home, but I’m tired of people talking about straight women, and the privilege they orbit, and how it can go wrong. If you choose to swim with sharks and you get bit, why are you surprised, ffs??? I mean, we have been bombarded by d.v. data for decades, and women still choose to ignore it. Complicated issue and reasons for ignoring reality, but not going to be addressed here. No, I’m talking about the brave women who reject cock, are punished for it on many levels, are forced to wear a second mask in public because they are deemed even more dangerous than an outspoken straight woman, and then because of poverty, are forced to wear the mask at home because of lack of choice in living situations.
There is little worse than being a poor lesbian or asexual who tries to stay away from men, but is forced to share living space with male strangers because she can’t afford anything else. I’m talking living in hostels, living in houses with multiple rooms rented out (where the renters are chosen by a landlord who doesn’t live in the house, not the renters who have to share the space), living in women’s shelters or prisons where violent male trannies posing as women are allowed in. In these cases, the women must wear multiple masks in public and then wear at least one at ‘home’. To take the mask off in a space where you are supposed to be safe also shows you to be dangerous, and then your ‘threat’ becomes exposed to the straight women and men living with you. Your housing becomes further insecure since you have become a perceived threat, especially if you complain, and you sense that your very life may be in danger because one thing is true: unlike women, when men get scared and threatened, they turn to violence and lash out. They target the perceived source of their fear – a woman who doesn’t literally or figuratively suck their cock or any cock, for that matter; a woman who doesn’t pay them enough attention, attention that they deserve as males; a woman who is a lesbian; it could be anything as no one needs a reason to attack a woman – and they try to take back the power they think they deserve and that they think has been taken away from them (aka ’emasculation’).
I firmly believe that financial independence is crucial for all women so that they may have safety and choices in life, and to help eliminate forced heterosexuality. Women are only dangerous because men say we are, and as we all know, in the he said/she said game, what he says goes. Always.
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Putting Social Distancing to Good Use
Took this photo on a walk yesterday. You’ve all seen this sign, although in its undoctored state, a million times in the last few months. I’m all about multi-purposing things, and I see a greater worldwide practical use for social distancing. My proposed new signage says it all. And with my propaganda campaign, I’ll one day manage to get 10 feet (substitute meters and kilometers for the entire non-American world), and then 50 feet, and then a mile, and eventually separate cities and countries just for the XX species. I know, I dream…
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I Want My Own Vatican City
I like geography and all things related. Contrary to misogynistic stereotypes, I am a chick with a good sense of direction and I love maps. I do sometimes get a bit lost, but I figure things out pretty quickly. It is not my experience that males know where they are going or are handy with a map. My most hilarious experience with this occurred in Hong Kong several years ago. I was doing a visa run from mainland China with a group of people who, like me, had never been there before. We got off the metro and had to find the Chinese consulate using a rudimentary public map posted on the wall. Myself? I got my bearings immediately and worked out the most efficient route in my mind, using visual-spatial skills that girls aren’t supposed to have. Now unfortunately, in our group, there was a tall, masculine, loudmouth, ex-military British fucker, whom I’ll call Prince George. And being be-penised, he immediately appointed himself leader and started telling us all his plan to get us to the embassy. I realized immediately that Prince George hadn’t a clue about how to get to where we needed to go. I piped up and said that he was incorrect, and people should follow me instead. But I was ignored, being female and all. And I hadn’t done military service, so obviously, I was missing some kind of navigating skills. So I said, “See ya,” and left the group unencumbered by dude-funk. Can you guess what happened? Yep, the group got lost under the leadership of the humble Prince, and I sat outside the embassy waiting for them for an annoyingly long time.
Moral of the story: Never follow a man or trust what he says about his abilities or knowledge. First, in his over-confidence and general self-delusion, he always knows less than he lets on and a woman will always have to fix whatever problem he creates. And second, males have little consideration for safety and other practical issues only a woman will think about.
I digress slightly. This is actually a post about geography and problems with dudes.
So in my love of geography and learning, I find myself taking little geography quizzes online. I made it my mission to know all of the 196 countries of the world and where they are located (I include Taiwan in this total, having lived there for a few years and having discovered how much it pisses the Chinese off when you tell them they don’t own Taiwan…). Recently, I found myself taking a country factoid quiz and was faced with the following question:
What is the only country with over 90% male citizenship?
I hesitated for a second, as my mind briefly flashed to one of those gun-toting American survivalist groups declaring an independent state. But then I realized they like rape too much, so there is no way they’d shack up officially with so many dudes. So, it had to be gay dudes or religious dudes. Or both!
Vatican City
Yes, that was it. Vatican City, the citizen (not resident) count of which is somewhere under 600. Under 6% of these citizens are female.
Now, personally, I don’t care if men want to form their own male-only countries provided there are serious protections in place against human (i.e., female) trafficking. I’m perfectly fine with separatism as a concept in practice. Male violence can be confined to its own petri dish, and women can be left out of it altogether. And if the dudes can tap into their natural gay selves (all dudes are omnisexual and thus can choose to be gay), all the better for women!
Gayest uniform ever. He can probably kill you with the slightest touch of his pinkie finger, but the costume is classic for an all-male country…
So, Vatican City is the closest thing to what I’m talking about, and their set-up works for them. I argue that it only works as well as it does because it is not completely male. There are a number of non-citizen females who support the city-state both as non-resident workers and as resident ‘support’ of resident males. Further, Vatican City is a highly respected independent state, greatly funded by the larger Christian world population. As well, nobody attacks them – even Muslim terrorists, despite their chest-beating – because any attackers would essentially be waging war on the entire Western world. Also, no one questions their uber-sexist, backwards, religious worldview. They are essentially allowed to function unmolested in hypocrisy and idiocy without a homegrown army (note: the relatively small contingent of super-faggily-dressed Swiss Guard Pope-protectors (see above) would be no match for a modern military assault), and draws in major tourist dollars from a peaceful, but brainwashed, crowd of Christian sheep.
So here is my question: why can’t women create their own internationally recognized and respected women-only, non-religious ‘Vatican City’? Why don’t women WANT this?
The answer is actually quite simple. Despite the fact that women-only city-states make a great deal of sense, even if women demanded them, they would not be allowed to exist. And to be honest, I think there are actually a number of women who would go for this kind of set-up if it were a possibility. But a female Vatican City would be under constant attack by men. Why? Well, all-women communities tend to be high-functioning and non-hierarchical. While girls are taught to believe from birth that they cannot exist without men, the opposite is actually true. Women function better when no men are present. And when men are faced with the reality that they are unnecessary or obsolete, they not only can’t handle it intellectually, but they feel they must retaliate with violence and try to put a stop to female success and independence. A classic, small-scale case of this actually exists in Kenya in the village of Umoja, which was founded nearly 30 years ago by women and girls fleeing from the male violence inevitable under forced heterosexuality, and has persisted despite several different kinds of attacks by men facing their own inadequacy.
In the West, women have not been so lucky. We are at a point where even women-only events and static non-living spaces have not only come under attack, but have been infiltrated and even erased by men, backed by changed laws and hard core violence. It is not unreasonable to say that Western women have as little freedom today as do women in many countries that are supposedly more ‘backward’ or less ‘progressive’. But when you tell Western women they are so privileged and free, they tend not to stand up for themselves and instead feel guilt at how lucky they are… Anyhow, no matter where you are in the world, it is hard to imagine women successfully creating their own women-only permanent living and working community, nevermind a separate city-state or country, and remaining unviolated by men. Unlike the men of Vatican City, these women-only countries would not have the backing and respect of the world.
But wouldn’t it be fantastic? The idea of having an untainted, demarcated space (city) without a single male – even boy-children – demanding your attention and energy and hyper-vigilance. A country where you wouldn’t have to live in fear. Where you could walk alone, unafraid, at any hour of the day. Where you could sleep under the stars without worrying about getting raped or kidnapped. Where you don’t need locks on your doors. Where you don’t have to get married and agree to be raped for decades and decades by a single man in order to be ‘protected’ from being raped by all the others or to be economically secure enough to avoid having to become a hooker to feed yourself. Where female friendship actually means something and is reliable and stable. Where the concept of family is replaced by something less fragile and dangerous and more inclusive. Where women can finally find their natural selves…
[This post is part of the Year of the Fantasy series…]
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A Saturday Night Muse on Male Supremacy – Is There a Way Out?
Is it a good idea to write while seriously sleep-deprived and mildly wasted at the same time? Probably not, but if I write and then wait to publish, there might not be a post at all. I’ve written half a dozen partial posts, only to leave them in draft form. so here goes. Forgive me for whatever comes out on this Saturday night of red wining. There really isn’t much point here other than to lay out what has been keeping me awake.
Imagine an existence where the most you have to worry about is the random illnesses that all people worry about at one point or another in their lives. But know that while you worry about it, you don’t have to panic about not getting appropriate health care (or not, if you choose not to treat what comes up). You don’t have to worry about being homeless or jobless or penniless or helpless – or in some compounded state of fuckery. In other words, imagine normal worries, but in a world that we don’t currently have. Imagine not worrying about your general safety, your employability, your social life, your freedom, your sanity.
It sounds pretty good. I fantasize about it often. I frequently think about what it would be like to just do the work I enjoy – working hard, contributing to the world in a small way. I’ve always wanted to have an edible garden that can sustain me, a native bee and butterfly sanctuary to keep my soul happy, and a pseudo educational centre to retain some kind of connection to the human world. That is my dream job, if you will. But I can’t imagine it happening because I don’t have money to set it up, it wouldn’t be lucrative enough to keep me going, and it wouldn’t set me up for even bare bones retirement as a single, childless woman who has no money, no home and few connections. So I constantly worry about working, my health, what I am going to do as my age increases, what the hell I am going to do given my very serious lack of human connection and financial resources if I run into serious health issues. For the more distant future, I worry about whether I’ll be brave enough or have access to the right resources in order to kill myself in an effective, painless, clean, and straightforward way when the time inevitably comes.
This is the shit I think about more and more with each year as I have become less relevant due to my age and sex. And I’ve come to realize that I worry about this kind of shit because I live in a male-constructed world. And it’s only the tip of the iceberg. I’ve also come to realize that there is absolutely no reason at all why people should live in such an intense state of constant worry and stress. There really is no reason why humans should have stressful lives, shitty jobs and job choices, self-hatred, and distress about how to exist and deal with natural problems. How did we get to a place where so many of the world’s people are so distracted by needless stressors that they fail to experience and enjoy the most basic of life’s pleasures. No other creature constructs a world that is more about pain and horror and stress than humans. And we owe this to the males of our species. I think about this constantly, the more evidence that presents itself. I continually question why men have to create such a shitty craphole of a planet and social system? I say again, there is no reason for humans to be living the way they have done and still do with no end in sight.
Let’s explore this. I honestly think it comes down to values.
I teach a university class on values every semester here in China. Mostly, it is for students to practise thinking and expressing their thoughts in English. Students aren’t required to think in Chinese universities, much to my shock and horror. And it is really difficult to get them to do it. But I do. Now honestly, I don’t really care specifically what they think or what values they hold. Honestly, China is a country of lies and superficiality. Nobody’s words mean diddly shit here. I learned that the hard way. But luckily, I tend to have a sociopath in every one of my classes, and they’ll tell me the truth. The truth that people tend to cover up in order to appear like virtuous people. I do love sociopaths for that very reason. Unless they are actively trying to scam you, they’ll be brutally honest about human nature. And during an ungraded class discussion, they have no reason to fuck with me. So, I have a weird appreciation for them, as a result, provided I completely disconnect from them on a human level. The Chinese sociopaths tell me what’s what. It’s the same reason I prefer right-wing, Christian whack-jobs of all colours in Western societies. Or the average Muslim male, for that matter. They are more honest about how they see people, especially women. There is little subterfuge. They don’t play the games that left-wingers do. No putting on of costumes to hide the wolves within. I’d much prefer a predator reveal himself than to pretend he is something he isn’t. And in this way, left-wing men are much more dangerous than any fundamentalist or traditionalist.
But back to my class on values. Many people robotically tell me that love and family and happiness are the most important things to them. There are also things like truth, freedom, honesty, and stuff like that. To be frank, my eyes glaze over when people start in with the socially acceptable responses. People’s words seldom match their behaviour here. But if you find yourself with a sociopath, you can get down to brass tacks. Last semester, one male sociopath told me that the world is a jungle, so honesty, friendship, and all the touchy-feelie, positive values didn’t matter in the slightest. He brushed aside everything his classmates had said with a nonchalance you only see with those unconcerned with emotion. He laid everything out for me basically. What matters is money and power. Yep. I couldn’t have expressed the male world view better myself. This is the true male viewpoint if you strip away the bullshit. If you listen to the fundamental male truth, you can see easily how the human race has ended up where it has. Males like competition, violence, strife, angst, suffering of others, control, power and the like, and every system they have ever constructed reflects this – from the most carefree recreational activity, such as computer games, to how men construct every kind of human relationship, to how they envision division of labour, economic systems, etc. There is nothing peaceful, loving, equanimous, progressive, forward-thinking or fair about male system designs. Present even a supposedly peace-loving male with true peace and equality, and he gets bored and uncomfortable. If you dig deeper into these humane, humanitarian males, and you’ll find that all of it is conditional. Men may lay out a superficial equality, but in reality, they require that someone be underneath them in some way. They must take or get something from somebody. Even if they oppose war – the ultimate male purpose in life – they will require women to be under them in some way. It’s usually women on the bottom – they don’t count in peace talks.
It is frustrating when you get to a point in your life when you just don’t want to struggle or play the game any more. You see it all. You see that it is all bullshit, and you don’t want to have anything to do with it. Whereas once, you told yourself, “Yeah, I hate men and what they have created, but I have to somehow survive in it. I can ‘make it’ somehow.” – now, you have reached a point where you know things don’t get better when you struggle. You just become depleted and discouraged. You know your limitations well by now, and you know what will happen to you if you try to struggle again. What is the solution for such a wide-awake person? How do you exist outside it? I don’t have an answer for that.
The only thing I know is that men got us to where we find ourselves. We absolutely should not look to them to fix anything. Men are not about solutions. They exist only to superficially justify their pointless existence through the creation of more problems in the name of short-term solutions. A job creation program, in other words. What does that mean for solutions when you feel you’ve reached a point in your life when participating in this poisonous world doesn’t seem possible? I fear that it means individual solutions for individual women. There is no system that supports our creativity. Will there be one day? It is hard to imagine that. Women work on common woman-centred goals less now than ever before, so it is impossible for me to imagine change being effected. But I have fantasy. I can actually imagine a world that works (sans males), where no one is worth more than anyone else, where women aren’t so destroyed inside by a lifetime of misogyny that they can barely function let alone deal with one another productively and respectfully.
Maybe it’s time for me to write fantasy or science fiction. I do see a world out there that doesn’t exist, but that really, really wants to. It lives in my mind…
[This is part of the Year of the Fantasy series.]
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Why I Don’t Believe that Heterosexuality is the Default – Part I
Live in denial if you dare – dog knows it’s easier that way, sweetums – but there is a fundamental truth that any ER room doc/nurse, paramedic, coroner, veterinarian, sports team compadre, prostitute or porn producer can agree on.
Men will fuck pretty much anything and can get off on pretty much anything.
We believe that men are ‘designed’ or ‘wired’ to seek out poontang – that men are heterosexual beings. And men have designed a whole system of lies and propaganda that props up this nonsense and keeps everyone (most importantly, women) buying into it. But, I actually don’t believe that men are fundamentally sexually wired to respond to women (or that women are wired to respond to men). You see, men are sexually ‘wired’ to respond to pretty much anything and everything. They can get hard over anything. Anything can get them off. Females, males, babies/children, animals, soft food, holes in walls, tubes – really, any animate or inanimate object that looks like it can accommodate or can be made to accommodate a dick, is sexual fodder for the human male. Men are omnisexual, rather than heterosexual. The privileged position that all men hold allows them to define sexuality and to act on whatever impulses pop into their brains or pants. They choose to call their omnisexuality ‘heterosexuality’, however. And this heterosexuality myth serves two very important purposes. Service and control.
It is not even the fact that women are the creators and stewards of human life that drives the ‘straight mandate’. You don’t need a whole system of heterosexuality- hell, you don’t even need a single dick to enter a single vagina EVER – to keep the human race going, so that is not the purpose of the lie. No, here it is. First, women are the only objects that can also be forced (often for free and in exchange for empty promises) to perform other duties in addition to serving as cum-receptacles. If any other fuckable object could service a cock as well as provide food, cleaning services, emotional support, ideas and labour to steal, and an undeserved, 24/7 round of applause, then we would not have heterosexuality. We’d have ‘vacuumsexuality’ or ‘felinosexuality’ or ‘beerbottlosexuality’. In other words, if a vacuum cleaner could provide the free services that women can and do (e.g., suck dick AND provide dinner and regular coddling for hurt male fee-fees), women would be free from it all and could actually do things with their lives away from the shaming and violence that are mandatory parts of heterosexuality for women. And second, heterosexuality serves to keep the violent male agenda in place. When women have the male agenda imposed on them, they have no time or energy to develop and live out their own agendas. And male and female agendas are fundamentally different. Women tend to be focused on peace, compromise, equality and creation. Males tend to be focused on violence, hierarchy, power, and destruction. If men could make do with vacuum cleaners and leave women alone, the world would change fundamentally to reflect female freedom. If you don’t have mandatory heterosexuality, women are free of male control and life proceeds very, very, very differently.
In short, if not for the hetero service perks and the high obtained from control of and power over women, I think men wouldn’t bother with women at all. And most women, if given the truth from birth – instead of the lie of heterosexuality – would see competition with a cat anus or a sock as demeaning and derailing of their true purpose (which has never been ‘to serve men’).
I’ve put together a small collage of some of the more common things that men put their dicks in other than women and children (or for the fags, men and children). In reality, almost anything could be included. Men spend a lot of time thinking about how to get off. To women, unless you’ve been poisoned by years of male thinking through abuse or other close proximity, looking at an object doesn’t immediately conjure thoughts of masturbation. We are usually too busy trying to solve real problems – almost 100% of which come to us from men. But, male imagination knows no bounds when it comes to getting themselves serviced, so anything – seriously, ANYTHING – can become a masturbatory device aside from pussy. If only men could turn their imaginations to helping the world instead of themselves and their weiners…
If you’re looking at these items in confusion, you’re likely female. Even with my scarily vivid imagination, it was hard for me to imagine how to get off using this stuff.
I don’t have a big problem with dudes fucking inanimate objects as long as it doesn’t take up health services if they end up hurting themselves. They probably don’t go far enough, to be honest. If more of them died while doing dangerous shit, that would probably be a good thing for the entire world. Anyhow, the thing I’m most concerned with is a) enforced heterosexuality and b) letting people (especially males) obsessed with getting off at all cost be in charge of important things. I think men can do just fine with their objects (and other men! I’m fully in support of dude-on-dude action), and should leave women alone. Women can run things, and men can spend all their time out of our sight getting off with every household item they can find. Men don’t need us to get off. And we certainly don’t need them for anything. Not for anything at all.
Part II and Part III of this discussion on sexuality. Welcome 2021 and an added Part IV on bisexuality.
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When You Aren’t Born with Radar
I have something serious to say, but I’ll start it off with some light-hearted fun. After all, we all know that being female in this day and age and having to deal with the constant male-created obstacles to true humanity is exhausting and depressing and downright dangerous, sometimes. Blowing off some steam every once in a while is an absolute must. So I’ll break this into two parts. The fun part and the serious part.
Part I: Get your trans on!
I’ve discovered a ‘make your own trannie’ site!!!!1!
Well, okay. That’s not what it is called and that is not what it is supposed to be for. It’s actually a very harmful site geared towards teenaged and pre-teen girls who already deeply hate themselves and who have been heavily indoctrinated into the cult of whoredom otherwise known as The World Under Patriarchy.
Yeah, it’s Seventeen Magazine online. And their message is “Welcome to life as a woman, you ugly, worthless bitch!”
What Seventeen offers us laydees is the opportunity to upload photos of our normal, ugly selves and then gives us the tools to dream of what could be… with enough money and self-loathing and insecurity, that is. They fulfill several of the Patriarchal goals: wasting the time and money of females (two things that would help women become independent of men), reinforcing the idea of women as sex and of having one’s value wrapped up in saleable fuckability, and hammering home the idea of inadequacy and self-hatred.
Now for those of us who don’t comply with femininity, who realized early on that wearing make-up makes you look like a cheap clown, and who couldn’t apply eyeliner properly to save our lives, this tool ends up being a hilarious diversion. Or… a helpful assistant in the development of a blog post. Upload photos of men and in less than 5 minutes, you have your own brand-spanking new M2T ready to totter off down the street in stilettos. When I was a child, we didn’t have computers to mess around with, so I had to settle for cross-dressing my Barbie and Ken dolls. (Luckily, no one in my family knew or cared.) If I were a kid these days, I’d be online, trannifying every boy in my class.
Now, in order to avoid publishing photos of dudes who might actually be recognized, I located some computer-generated pics of males that were used in an oh-so-important psych experiment on attractiveness (I’ll save you the mystery of the study findings: human people find computer-generated images more attractive than images of actual people. I prefer men on paper rather than in reality too, but I don’t think that is quite what the study findings were getting at…) So, I uploaded two photos of men to Seventeen, and went to work, sweet memories of trying desperately to snap Barbie’s bikini top closed around Ken’s thick masculine torso swimming in the recesses of my mind. When I discovered velcro and elastic, back in my childhood sewing days, I was in heaven. And so were the dolls 😉
In case anyone is wondering, Comp-gen male #1 was given a Kiera Knightly hairdo. Comp-gen dude #2 got the Bella Thorne up-do.
Part II: How the fuck do I tell the difference?
But the original purpose of this post was not to waste time making boys look like stereotyped versions of girls. I can’t imagine that being fun for very long (for me, that is) – I actually prefer doing algebra, to be honest. No, I really just wanted to ask a question. The question concerns an ability all men think all women have, and when it turns out we don’t, and men’s feelings get hurt, we get blamed instead. The ability is this: all women are supposed to innately be able to tell the difference between a sweet, little, innocent man and a rapist. A kind of ‘rapist radar’, if you will. In reality, no women has this. Sometimes, a really creepy dude will set off ‘alarm bells’ in you head, or you’ll get a gut feeling about a dude. But really, women don’t have this magical ability to sort men into two boxes. Rapist and non-rapist. Scary piece of shit and Nice Guy™. What women end up doing instead is naturally fearing ALL men. You’d have to be a complete dingbat (or thoroughly destroyed inside) not to. Given how pervasive violence against women is, and how few shits the powers that be (men) give about women’s safety and rights, the correct position for women to take is to fear all men at all times.
Men don’t like this. They constantly complain that they are ‘not like that’, that women are unfair, and that they hurt men’s fragile little feelings when they react to them with fear or mistrust. Trannies (M2Ts) – the uber-males of the cult of gender fetishizing – are much worse. First, they are mentally ill; second, they are very entitled due to the whole male privilege/rapist class status thing; and third, they have constructed a narrative of false oppression that is necessary to maintaining their delusion that they are female and that allows them to justify obliterating women’s very necessary boundaries.
So tell me this:
Can you tell which one of these two dudes will hurt you?
What about these two dudes?
Right. You can’t tell. It could be all of them, or one of them, or none of them. And until a radar is developed that will lock down a violent predator before he can act, women’s spaces must be preserved, the law must reflect the needs of women and their safety, and men must listen to the word ‘no’ and get it through their heads that being a special unicorn and not a rapist is irrelevant. Your feelings are nothing compared to women’s safety and basic freedom. It is the height of arrogance and narcissism not to be able to see this. All men, every single one of you, including trannie pervs, benefit from the effects of violence against women. And you know this is true – or else you would be fighting tooth and nail to end it. And by the way, even if this radar could be developed, women still need their own space away from men. That should never be on the table for elimination.
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Getting Inside the Head of the Head
I’m gearing up to a big post on rape. I’ve been reviewing the data from the fun little quiz that I designed recently (which is still open if you care to take a few minutes out of your day and click the button) to get some ideas about diluted feminism (larger context: The Ice Cube Effect and Feminism Dilution).
I’ll be posting soon on a few interesting things I noticed, namely the overwhelming misunderstanding of what rape is.
Today, I’m preparing for teaching, which starts up again tomorrow, and also procrastinating a bit by listening to Mancheeze’s live meet-up/broadcast on prostitution. Every time I read about or listen to stuff about male depravity – anything having to do with porn, prostitution, violence against women, etc. – I’m sent into a very important, unmaintainable, self-preserving, and ultimately stressful state. It is a state which, if maintainable, would help women quit men for good (which some of us have managed). It is a state that I can only describe as being the chilling or ice-cold, crystal-clear awareness that men absolutely hate women. There is no other way to describe a human who can take pleasure in any of those things that women only do because they are desperate or dependent. I’m not going to get into how all those things are harmful because it is a truth that has been described elsewhere in great detail, and as such, is both Feminism 101 and not debatable to me. Anyone who can’t see the harm to women in marriage, prostitution, pornography, BDSM or any of that line of male domination business is no friend to women. And I don’t get into discussions with them. Men who engage in or defend these unassailable ‘institutions’ hate women. Period.
So when I enter these intense, short-lived states of being highly aware of the male hate that absolutely surrounds and suffocates me and every other woman on the planet, sometimes I try to imagine what it would be like to be male or to live like a male. In order to do this, I try to imagine putting at the centre of my motivation and my entire existence a single body part. That single body part guides how I treat other people and how I see myself. It is hard to know whether I love that part, hate it, worship it, or have some complicated mix of all three, but what is clear is that catering to that body part requires that I do harm to at least one other person. How could narcissistic self-love not harm others? So I design my relationships to cater to that body part. My sexual interactions with others revolve solely around that body part. I design and support a world that caters to my body part to the detriment of other people who don’t have that body part. And I defend my body part and the world that caters to my body part against (perceived) attack, questioning, demands for justification and reparations for those who suffer because of them. I defend myself using violence, threats, arguments about the rights and supremacy of my body part. My body part is more important than the lives of millions. And the government, the law, the medical establishment, and every other power structure in the world agree with me.
In other words, cock is king.
In order to get inside the heads (either one) of men, one must put the supremacy of a single body part (the penis) at the centre. That is the best way I can understand how men operate. And I think that women really can’t see men for what they are – apathetic, narcissistic and sometimes sadistic destroyers with a single body part at the centre of it all directing the show/game/war – because women aren’t capable of putting a single, selfish body part at the centre of their pleasure at the expense of the rest of the world. And for that matter, women don’t really have an equivalent body part that can deal the damage that the penis does.
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Goddesses Meet, Talk, Bond, Fuel Up
When you’re travelling on a budget, you often find yourself staying in places of the more communal sort. Youth hostels (which are not just for the young) are a good example of this kind of accommodation. Dorm rooms are usually sex-segregated (oh jeez, have the effing trannies infiltrated those as well??? Life used to be simpler.) Some places will have a mixed dorm which is slightly cheaper – as in, if you’re a woman, you can pay less for greater access to pervs looking at you and a higher risk of being raped in your bed. Very, very occasionally, you’ll run across a women-only hostel. I stayed in the fabulous Frauenreisehaus in Christchurch, NZ years ago. Sadly, an earthquake got it and it is closed. I’ve heard rumour of a hostel with a separate women’s wing in Perth, Australia. And these are not battered women’s shelters. These are regular budget accommodations with the good sense to recognize that the world isn’t a friendly place for women travellers, especially those without much money and who are travelling solo. (I’ve written a little about the differences between men’s and women’s travel experiences before.) The energy in women-only places is different. Safe. Healthy. Conversation doesn’t revolve around the men staying there, (since there are no men) who are, for the most part just looking for a one-night stand with an anonymous, cute, young traveller. You think I exaggerate? Let me tell ya, honey. I’m an experienced traveller. I’ve seen it all. Hell, I’ve been that anonymous, cute, young traveller and I’ve heard all the lines, all the mesmerizing accents, and seen how easily hostels are mismanaged in such a way to put female travellers in grave danger and to create a fertile hunting ground for males. I’ve fantasized about running a women’s hostel of my own. Women need safe places to sleep and rest and refuel.
I’ve gotten pickier over the years as I’ve gotten older and less tolerant of danger and discomfort. I don’t earn much, but I also don’t travel much anymore, and I live an incredibly spartan lifestyle in China. So when I do travel, and I’m not staying with friends, I no longer put myself in dangerous and uncomfortable situations if I can help it. I strongly dislike sharing rooms with people, I hate bunk beds, and I don’t like being in parts of town centred in the middle of all the clubs and bars. But hostels that allow men (which is most of them), even if you splurge and get yourself a private room, can be infected with the male voice, which can grate on your brain like nails on a blackboard even if you hone your skills in tuning them out. I stayed in one place in China which seemed to have such little discretion that dangerous, woman-hating men were allowed to stay. One psychotic, Middle-Eastern nutjob walked into the common area, and unimpressed with the selection of women travellers present, shouted “Where are all the fucking bitches!?!” In the same place, the desk staff gave my room number to a nasty Australian man who was trying to follow me around and tell his boring stories to. And oh yeah, in the same place, this PUA Indian man who was trying to immigrate to my country (yes please!), after trying to get sex from me and failing, asked me if I wished I could have Asian skin, since they were much more attractive than me…
But if you can avoid the men, you do run into goddesses – and I don’t mean that in any religious or spiritual sense as I’m an atheist and materialist and don’t feel the need to come off as enlightened or to barely suppress a secret smile over having achieved a soulfulness/mindfulness/gratitude tier that those around me obviously haven’t. No, I mean goddesses in the ‘awesome women’ sense. I always meet a few on my travels. They are not always feminists in the way that I am. But that isn’t always the most important thing in the formation of an immediate bond. In my current location, which is infected with doods, I had a Goddess Session. This one, like all of them, happened unexpectedly. And like all of them, it was healing, gynergy-generating, insight-giving, and mutually burden-lightening. My fellow Goddess, to whom I will give credit for this post as she is the one who recognized a kindred spirit and named what was happening in the way that I have here. And while we shared only an hour of talk and emotion and non-judgment, we probably smoothed over hours and hours and even days and weeks of toxic male infiltration of our souls and beings. At the parting, she related something a friend had told her, “the road will be hard, but you will meet angels along the way.” I’m not religious/spiritual in any way, but I got the gist of it. We had just experienced evidence of the truth of the essence of this statement. And we were ready to face the day’s challenges as a result.
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Another Oppressed White Male is Liberated by Yours Truly
Last night, I went to bed lighter, but with a heavy, heavy heart. Only if you have felt it yourself do you know what that phrase ‘heavy heart’ means. The words don’t do the feeling justice. All at the same time, you feel like something hard and weighty has crept into the space where your heart should be, a coldness invades you as emotion sears you from the inside out, you feel like you are slowly and uncontrollably, physically sinking. It is weird, and I don’t feel like I can describe its complexity.
As I lay down, I felt some relief, but more poignantly, a bottomless sadness bordering on despair. The layers of this despair are many and might be better understood through a reading of all of my posts. But this post alone will convey at least the sadness part of my emotional state, and perhaps some of the relief too.
I’ve had to let go of another misogynist male in my life.
In the space of four months, this is the second important and long-term relationship I have nixed. Both men, both from California, both uber-liberal ‘nice guys’. Not self-professed feminists (thank goodness), but guys who are totally on board with opposing (not fighting) racism (against males is the unspoken part, I’ve realized). It is fucking hard to end a long-term relationship. But it is harder to accept being treated as less. It is harder to silently accept really sexist opinions, pontifications, theories, actions and orientations from men who profess to be my friend and to care about me. If you cared about me, you wouldn’t treat me as less. It’s really that simple.
This current misogynist – I am staying with him and his wife (until this morning, that is) – didn’t seem to be so horrible in the past. I mean, he was horrible, and I chose not to examine it too closely. Until recently. I’ve been talking to another feminist online about some of the shit this guy has done over the years, and only when you talk about it do you realize what you’ve not allowed yourself to process in a necessary way. When you say it out loud or in text, you realize you’ve been tolerating abuse from or the existence of an abusive individual. But this ‘nice guy’ has become worse over the 8 years that I’ve known him. I think it is because of two things: 1) he has a dysfunctional relationship with a wife whom he both needs and antagonizes and who also is an antagonizer and controller herself – they are both fucked, co-dependent; and 2) he has been spending more and more time online engaging in ‘virtual BDSM’ with women who buy the male idea that female slavery is empowering. (I may have to do a post on the online BDSM community, where I have spent time trying to figure out what makes these idiots tick. It is the silliest thing. Ever.) Use of misogynistic sexual material or services has been correlated with increased violence against women by men. I’m not surprised that liberal dude’s online playtime has made him more outspoken against women.
Said misogynist is the liberal white dude that I wrote about in this post. He is behaving atrociously during his wife’s second bout of cancer just as he did during the first. I was around at the beginning of the first, and the second was announced just before I arrived this time. So, I’ve been around at the beginning of both and watched how this dude has mishandled both situations. Eight years ago, when her first and more serious episode of lady-cancer was diagnosed, dude realized he wasn’t going to be getting laid for a long time and issued an ultimatum that they adopt a polyamorous relationship or else he would leave. What choice did she have? She needed help through recovery. She had to say yes. He got what he wanted and still didn’t support her properly. But he still got to live for free in the house that SHE owned. And this time, it is a very treatable, slow-growing breast cancer. He announced to me and the liberal white lady from the post I linked to above that his wife’s cancer was going to kill HIM. I gave him shit for that, which he didn’t like.
And I’ve since opened my mouth several times to challenge the bullshit that has come out of his. And it has been endless. Him explaining away the cute pedophelia theme in a film we watched one night. Sexist comments when he is ‘forced’ to listen to a small group of women talking about health, travel and misogyny in the world. And the endless harping on the topic of black men getting killed by police. (I am soon going to post on the actual data on these killings provided by black activists and give the issue some perspective that you won’t get by the media, any male, or any government agency.) As I’ve become more observant and less tolerant of this man’s abuse, he has become more petulant, and has adopted a facial expression that speaks of serious male oppression. Pouting, sulking, and then more verbal antagonism towards me. This man in all his years, has never been challenged by a woman. His misogyny has gone unchecked. Because he pretends to be an activist for the poor, he receives serious cock suckage, despite the fact that he relies very heavily on free female labour (I worked as a full-time volunteer for his non-profit for 8 months, which he tends to forget about or downplay) and seldom follows through on his ideas unless a woman is involved.
I’ve had enough. I thought I could deal with or handle this stuff. I need to retain some connections in the meat world for some very practical reasons. I feel that I’ve invested too much energy in relationships with males, and now that my eyes are open, it is practically impossible to respect myself, be healthy, and maintain those relationships. I think to myself that I should have made more connections with females, but they are not necessarily any better. So many women are male-identified, and any relationship you have with them is inevitably tainted by the toxic males in their lives and the female friend’s requirement that you accept abuse that she herself Is willing to accept. And when push comes to shove, these women will often throw you under the bus to support the male abuser.
Where are the feminists in real life? I used to have a few. All were lesbians. But that was years ago. Perhaps, I need to go on a mission, a pilgrimage… Things to think about.
As I contemplate that, my heart is heavy and will be for a while. I still can’t quite figure out which is the worse feeling, dropping toxic males/connections from your life and being almost completely or completely alone, or subordinating yourself in order not to feel alone. Both suck. In different ways.
But at least from Liberal White Dude’s perspective, he has been liberated (a little) from the oppression of a feminist unwilling to accept his free range misogyny. Luckily, there are other women in his life to burden him and fuel his victim mentality and justify his beliefs and the ways he acts on them.
Transitioning: But Not The Kind You Think
I’m in the middle of transitioning from MF to FF.
No! Don’t worry! I’m in no way thinking that my brain would be happier if I had balls to scratch and I could pee standing up.
My transition doesn’t involve taking dangerous hormones or denying mental illness or cutting up my body. And it is not rooted in woman-hate. No, that would describe the transgender kind of transitioning.
The kind of change I’m talking about is health-oriented and woman-friendly and doesn’t require me to erase myself or my lived reality. It is just a refocusing of energy, a streamlining of behaviour to remove unnecessary actions, and cutting a swathe through the hard, impacted bullshit that is Patriarchy.
I’m transitioning from Male-Focused to Female-Focused.
Whether women are aware of it or not – and I’d argue that it’s mostly unconscious – we are trained to serve male ‘needs’. In reality, men don’t ‘need’ anything from women, but over time, desires and a sense of entitlement have created a whole host of needs that cannot be realized without one or more female slaves. And the needs are uncountable. They can be the obvious and universal: “I need my dick serviced when, where and how I want” or “You will prioritize my words and ideas – I can interrupt you and any girl/woman no matter what you are doing, everything I say is right, etc.” But the needs can be sub-group-, geography-, or man-specific. It is elaborate, but has one simple rule. Woman caters to man to her detriment.
I lament the female energy, talent, and intelligence that has long been and continues to be wasted on catering to the weaker sex.
Back to my personal transitioning.
It is hard. I can imagine it would be next to impossible if you lived with a man in a heterosexual relationship. You just wouldn’t be allowed not to cater. I don’t really have any advice for women in this situation other than: leave. That simple, but really key, suggestion can inspire angry reactions (my Dick isn’t like that! He caters to my needs too!); sad reactions (I wish I could, but I can’t for X, Y, Z reasons); and the sacrificial lamb reactions (He would be lost without me – I can’t leave him. He can’t help it.) And I’m sure there are other categories.
In addition to romantic relationships, it is hard when you are forced to work around males. Most of us can’t work in a man-free environment. Most women have male bosses, colleagues and clients. Myself, I seldom have to deal with supervisors – male or female – which is awesome. But as a university instructor in science and engineering in China (the land of propaganda and conformity to rigid Patriarchy in a way I’ll write about in the future), almost all my students are male. That sucks. They demand so much more of my energy than female students because they act like 5-year-olds, can’t focus, don’t listen, don’t follow instructions, and wear misogyny like a bad perfume. [I have a whole post on dumb boy-children in education.] I find I dissociate almost completely when I teach in order to stay Female-Focused. I have a completely separate persona/identity/mask/hazmat suit that I put on when I enter the classroom. I do help some of the more enthusiastic students outside of class, though – that is the teacher in me, and I’d feel like I wasn’t doing a good job if I trampled on natural motivation to learn/improve. Unfortunately, female students with ambition in China are few and far between. Women are not supposed to help themselves, or pursue goals other than finding a husband and an acceptably low-level job and popping out a preferably male kid and catering to its every need. So most of the students I help are male. To deal with the obvious male-focus, I try to de-sex them and just see them as ‘youth’ or ‘student’. It goes better if I tell myself, “I am helping a student.” If I do get an ambitious female student, I try to help them as much as possible. This semester, for example, a 17-year-old, first-year, female law student crashed my class (it was a class for Masters-level Management/Finance students). Afterwards, she came up to talk to me, and she told me she was reading “The Second Sex” by Simone de Beauvoir. I think my jaw hit the floor. Most Western woman have never read it, and feminism is very frowned upon in China. Anyhow, I’ll nurture this one as long as she wants it. She is highly unusual in her self-confidence and thirst for forbidden knowledge.
Finally, it is hard to evaluate friendships with men. Once I started transitioning, I realized that most to all of my friendships with men were ones from which I got very little and sometimes had to put up with a lot of bad stuff I wouldn’t have to with most women. There are weird abuses, confusing insult-compliment combos, the inevitable sexual intrusions, the demands on your energy, and having to overlook a whole lotta misogynistic behaviour that wouldn’t be acceptable if you were honest with yourself. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been shedding many of these male parasites over the last few years. One of the things that becomes really hard – and I think this is true of friendships as well as romantic relationships – is seeing one’s investment (time, money, emotion) as a waste or a loss and then letting it go instead of using it as a reason to stay. It doesn’t help that relationship-building isn’t easy, and it gets harder to make friends as you get older. But ultimately, breaking an unhealthy tie is better for you than allowing a parasite to feed and drain and ultimately kill you.
Transition periods can be very, very difficult. You often question what you’re doing. You often feel alone and lonely. You worry about what your future will look like. You wonder whether you deserve to have a better life and whether you are being selfish for taking care of your own basic needs. You may find yourself insulted in a variety of different, but standard ways, but that will just show you how right you were about leaving.
But what you have to remember is that no one deserves to be second or less important or a slave to anyone else. And that basic belief will sustain you and get you to a better, healthier place.
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I Tried, and I Had to Leave
For some of us, it’s a process. It can be a lengthy process if you score high on empathy, have any kind of draw to the helping professions, and/or come from an abusive family (for females, not males) where you’re not allowed to stand up for yourself. I’m referring to shedding the dead weight known as men.
Dead weight is only a partially correct term. Yes, men give you a heavy load to drag around with you, draining your limited (and often low) energy. This energy will be redirected from the little self-care you allow yourself to listening to their endless whining, helping them with their endless problems, taking care of them, paying for them, cleaning up after them, etc. But they also fill you with lies and misinformation. They attack your limited self-confidence. They make you doubt yourself. They steal your ideas and creations. They stop your thoughts when you start to appear a little too independent or critical. They’ve got a dangerous arsenal at the ready.
And there is only one solution for that. Get the fuck away from them. Don’t tie yourself to them. Do serious vetting if you are considering being around one. Ideally, never deal with them, although that is next to impossible as this is NOT ALLOWED and besides, practically impossible given that there is unfortunately no female-only territory/country (never mind woman-space, these days).
So, for many, it is a process. I’ve been doing just that. It has been a long process. Very gradual, although more accelerated in the last year.
Except for one or two I haven’t managed to eject from my life and except for mandatory listening that is part of my job as an educator, I don’t willingly listen to them anymore – so much so, that find myself automatically tuning out when one speaks. I jokingly attribute it to age and my hearing, but of course, it’s just that I’m tired of feeling ‘vampired’ after interactions with their non-stop verbal dick-swinging and too-apparent mental deficiencies.
I also don’t bother joining any groups that aim to ‘change things for the better’ if men are involved at all. There is no such thing as an honest to goodness male activist. It doesn’t matter whether said dude is an environmentalist or an atheist fighting religion, the changes dudes look to effect are ones that maintain male dominance. Women don’t factor in as recipients of positive change. And male feminists, as I’ve said before (here and here), the scourge of activism – well, I truly don’t know what they are doing exactly. Soapboxing, perhaps. Men naturally gravitate to self-righteous pontification. But the majority of them spend way too much time telling women what to do or not do. Many of the white male feminists like to shit on white female feminists and accuse them of not only doing feminism wrong, but calling them racist or transphobic. It’s as if they take some kind of pleasure in finding someone else to blame for everything they’ve done on their own. It’s revolting.
And this leads into my latest shedding of dead weight. I forced myself to sort of suffer through the reading of ‘We Hunted the Mammoth’ posts for a while. When I first ran into the site, I thought “let’s see what happens here”. I much prefer men who purport to be fighting the fight (although, I can’t be bothered to go and check whether the author calls himself a male feminist) to keep their own blogs and to read, but not comment, on women’s blogs (for the reasons mentioned above). I was amused that he was taking on the Morons Rights Activists (seriously the dumbest, loudest and most violent men on the planet besides MtT dudes and both Christian and Muslim male fundamentalists). I think this is a job for men. But of course, because men truly don’t understand women’s issues, it is impossible for them to take down these assholes completely. I get the impression that WHTM sees the MRAs as a joke primarily, and he slaps them around like a cat does a mouse. And indeed, if you look at who comments on WHTM, it is mostly dudes who like swinging their dicks around, feeling superior as if they are doing something Important. There is no real talk of women’s rights or feminism. There is no willingness to get on board with or understand radical feminism. It is just an amusement to write about and comment on the latest ‘hijinks’.
I have been commenting occasionally. No one interacts with me, which is fine – that’s not what I went there for. For me, it was more like dropping a beautiful, perfectly-shaped, feminist turd in the middle of a circle jerk, and it gave me a little pleasure and satisfaction. A few people clicked over, likely to check out the bitch who dared comment on an anti-MRA site (remember, male feminists aren’t activating for women’s sake, but just to feel superior). But it didn’t take long to get bored. The writing is not interesting, and neither are the verbose commenters. The blog has no purpose other than poking fun, and if I want that, I read the comics. I’ve noticed other feminist blogs commenting that all the rad fems that initially stuck around that blog and tried commenting ended up leaving. Too much misogyny and dick-swinging – and no real purpose.
I feel much lighter for having shed this silly corner of the internet.
If you want to visit a blog that is much more effective and on point and with clear purpose in dealing with MRA bullshit, you must, of course turn to a woman (don’t you always?). Mancheeze takes things seriously. You won’t be disappointed.
I Love Asian Women
Men. They’re all different, but they’re all the same.
That doesn’t make sense now, does it? Well, what I mean is that when, as all women are, you’re forced to listen to the constant stream of stupid shit straight men say, you notice that they all have their different sexual fetishes and proclivities. But, at the root of all of these delightful differences is a deep-seated hatred of women. Men reduce women to their body parts (I love tight pussy, big tits, long hair, etc), race/skin colour, and culture. By culture, I don’t mean the proper definition of culture, I mean cultural stereotypes – male fantasies aren’t based on deep meaning or understanding. So while they ‘love’ certain exploitable things about particular women, they actually hate women as a class. Love of women’s junk or affiliations does not translate into love, or more importantly, respect, of women.
I’ve spent the past few years removing men from my life. It’s depressing, but stress-releasing and self-preservational. Depressing because I’ve realized that the wiser and more self-respecting I’ve gotten, the less able I am to endure men. And being around men, I’ve also realized, is about enduring, tolerating, bearing – in essence, negating/erasing myself and my self-worth. I’ve never felt this in the company of women. I’ve not felt that women hang around with me because of anything other than shared interests or compatible personalities.
Coming to Asia for Pussy and a Sense of Power
The most recent batch of men that I’ve had to offload or detour around once I encounter them are ones that have come out with the all-too-common: “I love Asian women.” and the complement of that: “I hate Western women.”
Unfortunately, I have lived in Asia off and on for the last 13 years, so I hear this shit all the time from non-Asian men. Many of these dickfaces come to Taiwan and China (and other Asian countries) so that they can score Asian pussy. Some of them just want to use and fuck, but others want the whole wifey-wifey deal. Part of it is so that they don’t have to learn about the country they’re in or learn the language – if you pick up a local woman, she will navigate for you and make your life easy.
My favourite comment thus far came from a South African dude who smirkingly told me that he’d finally scored a ‘rice-powered bed-warmer’. Classy. And yet, I didn’t reward him with a high five.
The other thing that foreign men like about Asians is the whole subservience thing that they believe is built in to Asian women. Asian women will cook, clean, let you rape them regularly, and will never complain about anything you demand of them. They are also femininity-compliant and believe that the man is the head of the house. Oh, and you can be old, fat, ugly, stupid, and have a personality disorder and still score a hot, young Asian babe. There are many online discussion groups devoted to this “Asian bitches are better. They know their place” phenomenon. These men are vomit-inducing. Thank goodness they have the internet so that they can get together and circle jerk.
I worked with one obnoxious, stupid and really ugly Australian guy who had scored an accomplished, employed Taiwanese woman. I remember her rushing to our place of work with the lunch that he had forgotten. I watched as he upbraided her for some transgression in the middle of our populated staff room. She stood there, head down, like a child. She was in her 30’s.
One thing is always true though, I’ve noticed: these guys are big losers in their own countries. Women can smell the rot within them and won’t give them the time of day. I would bet money that they have raped at least once. I used to wonder why these dudes didn’t just join the fucked up BDSM scene, but I suspect that most of them don’t see themselves as kinky or alternative – they just want subservience. BDSM is lame and gross, but probably too weird for the “I love Asian women’ crowd. Control, without perversion.
The average Western woman (outside BDSM or strict religious communities) is ‘uppity’, ‘demanding’, and is vocal about having some semblance of human rights. We don’t like to be raped. We have the word ‘no’, which we like to use. In Chinese, there is no distinct word for ‘no’ – or for ‘yes’ for that matter. You can say ‘don’t want’, ‘don’t have’, ‘am not’, but there is no resounding ‘NO!!!!’ Once you own a Chinese girl, you can do whatever you want. No one will stop you. Foreign men love this.
But You Can Love Asian Women at Home Too!
But these dudes don’t even need to leave the homeland to enjoy what the world has to offer. Luckily, Asian women are everywhere.
I recently had to dismiss a former boss-turned-acquaintance from Canada (originally England). After one relationship had gone south with a Canadian woman, he found himself living alone on a farm. He started taking on WWOOFers (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) to help out as volunteers with the work. He was particularly taken with some young Korean girls in their late teens who were travelling and volunteering. Dude (who is about 55) told me he had a hard time keeping his hands off them, and then announced to me that he hated Western women. He then told me he was using a dating site matching up Asian women with Western men (mail order bride site?), and he wanted my help in procuring an impoverished Filipino woman who was working as a slave/house cleaner in China to support her children back in the Philippines. Prostituting herself to a Western fucker instead of a Chinese fucker looked like a better option, apparently. I suspect that will change as the average Chinese, despite what racist, ignorant, white, liberal Americans will tell you, are much richer than the average white person these days. And China is the new power, still growing – white guys are less and less of a catch in comparison. Things are a-changing.
Anyhoo… I told British-Canadian-immigrant to fuck off, that I wouldn’t participate in his rape fantasy-turned-reality, and I haven’t spoken to him since. Piece of shit.
A few years back, I went back to Canada for a spell to get my health back after a horrid, demoralizing stint in the Chinese countryside. I ended up working for an abusive Turkish immigrant who sexually and psychologically harassed me on a regular basis, starting on day one when he told me that I was older than he thought I would be (I arranged the job online and via phone before I got back to Canada).
We had a number of Japanese women working for us that he appeared to leave completely alone, unharassed. At one point, after I showed myself to be an uppity Western bitch when he wouldn’t leave ME alone, he told me that he ‘really liked Asian women’ working for him. They never complained. Of course they didn’t. Asian women don’t talk back to male bosses who are hurting them. AND they had WORK VISAS. If you have a work visa in foreign country, you are well aware that the visa is tied to a specific job. If you lose the job, you must leave the country until you can find another employer to sponsor you. To stay would get you deported and banned. The best way to get fired is to complain.
Conclusion
One thing I want to make clear. I’m not lamenting the loss of these nutsacks to more compliant women. I wouldn’t touch these fuckers with a 10,000 foot pole. Rather, I’d prefer to live in a world where women aren’t reduced to their parts, and where men aren’t given universal permission to treat women as acceptable or unacceptable based on how much abuse they’re willing to take. As it is, this little ‘rating’ system does convince many women that there is something wrong with them if they can’t catch a man, and that wrongness is directly tied to having to give up their humanity.
First, women don’t need men. Ever. Second, if you really must be with a man, it should be someone who sees you as an equal deserving of respect. But that, of course, isn’t what heterosexuality is or can be. It is, despite what you say (fuelled by your Stockholm Syndrome and programming from birth), based on inequality and dependent on women hating themselves and accepting (even subconsciously) the male rule of law that females are inferior in all the ways that matter.
Story Ending Never 
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