N is for Normal
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
In 2022, a 13-year-old boy I was tutoring told me in very plain English: “You are not a normal person.” My response was: “You’re right. I’m not.” On the surface, the comment didn’t seem to be meant to be an insult – trust me, I’ve been insulted all my life with regard to my non-conformity, and I’ve been called worse than ‘not normal’ – but kids tend to be blunt and honest, unless they’ve been abused or punished enough to have learned to keep their mouths shut, or unless they’ve just simply been trained to develop social skills and a filter. Boys tend to have a lot more freedom of speech, of course, and can pretty much say what they want without consequences. In this case, I found the comment to be a bit suspicious as I’d discovered in past classes, that at even at 13, this boy had already started tapping into his natural latent misogyny, and had developed a basic arsenal of male logic fails to use against females talking about fact-based male violence. So, I figured I’d turn this new and potentially misogynistic male brain fart into a multi-purpose ESL lesson. We’d indirectly discuss how not to put women into patriarchal boxes through an analytical and support-your-argument exercise, so I asked for more information about his dudely deduction. There was nothing unexpected in the conversation that followed. Basically, it boiled down to the observable mismatch between my age, thinking, and behaviour and the typical thinking and behaviour expected of a woman my age. The point I wanted to hit home was that not being normal didn’t equate to something bad. The male skull is thick, however, and the neurons so few and far between, so I doubt the exercise made much of a dent.
What I didn’t discuss with the boy, however, was that in some ways, I am completely normal.
Most kids can deal with talking to someone who isn’t normal. Most haven’t fully absorbed the incorrect belief that abnormal is dangerous. The average ‘normal’ adult is very threatened by people who think critically, who ask questions, who challenge commonly held practices and beliefs, and who poke at protected groups and systems. Fragile systems can crumble if you mess with them too much, and patriarchy is just such a fragile system. Both right-wing religious systems and left-wing ‘democracies’ depend on and protect patriarchy and do their utmost to keep women following the path of normalcy as they define it.
Whereas some kids actually really enjoy talking to someone like me, I find that I make most normal adults uncomfortable simply because I am not normal, and adults tend to be set in their rigid ways after years of being rewarded for conforming. When they meet me, they don’t know what male-defined lady-category to put me in. This can be scary to both men and women. Most women generally don’t trust other women as per patriarchal programming, and as a woman who so clearly doesn’t follow the rules? Well, let’s just say I’ve been on the receiving end of some nasty, petty and mind-boggling reactions – usually passive aggression, insults, infantilizing and outright shunning. Handmaiden psychology and behaviour are a major source of sadness for me. Some men will show intrigue at my ‘weirdness’ until they realize I am not into playing their fucking mind games based on antagonizing me – the game where men always win in the end and women submit and accept defeat.
I got interested in conformity and categorization and manipulation in childhood. When I was about 13 or 14, I wanted to be a psychologist. It was in my blood, but it was also a suitable discipline for both my personality and the way my mind works. I was already attending the occasional university psych class, and I was a question-asker, truth-teller, and analyst, by nature. One evening, at dinner, I asked my psychologist-father: “What does ‘normal’ mean?” My asshole-mother, a woman who devoted her entire existence to sabotaging my education and destroying any chance I had at developing self-confidence, visibly rolled her eyes at me, her clearly not-normal daughter, and my father preened at the chance to expound on his area of expertise. Despite my issues with my father, I did get a thorough answer – 10 different ways to understand what ‘normal’ means, although none having anything to do with feminism, specifically. So rather than listing these 10 definitions, I’ll talk about women and normalcy, and why it ends up being so important to patriarchy.
A Basic Definition
Just to put us all on the same page, we’ll define ‘normal’ very basically as deliberately conforming to or unintentionally meeting a standard, and thus, acting, thinking and looking like the majority. There are value-laden words associated with ‘normal’, so rather than just thinking that normal is just another word for ‘average’, it is also associated with lacking problems, being successful, and being free of disease or weakness or deficiency, etc. I’ll discuss an aspect of this a bit in the section on morality. We could also talk about statistical normalcy as well as cultural norms, but I don’t want to get into all of that in this article. Culture is going to be a separate post, and who knows, I may return to my roots and talk about statistics some time in the future. For now, I have a few points I want to get into below.
Pathologizing Women – Males are the Default, Dammit!
No matter where you find yourself in the world or in time, one thing is apparent. Males are the default – well, at least according to males. Instead of logically separating males and females and allowing them to exist on their own spectrums, males define a single spectrum where males are normal and females are not. When placed on this default ‘human’ (male) spectrum, women and girls are aberrations, pathological, incomplete men, lesser versions of ‘normal’, and you can express this lack of humanity in so many ways. It all comes down to women being a problem. This viewpoint is essential to patriarchal rule. It keeps women off-balance, second-guessing and hating themselves, competing with other women over crumbs of approval, and wasting their very limited money, energy and time on unimportant and distracting tasks instead of achieving anything that would make their lives and health better. For males, this tactic of abnormalizing females serves to keep them in power without having to work very hard or meet any kind of standards themselves, and to have a constant supply of insecure and approval-seeking slaves boosting their egos, keeping them clean and fed, and providing ideas and output to steal.
The idea that males are the default and females are abnormal and problematic infects all areas of life. Tools and machines are designed for male bodies. Health research is done primarily on males and then incorrectly and often dangerously applied to females. Things that female bodies and minds experience are turned into diseases and then either brutalized through medical ‘treatment’ or written off as imaginary lady-bullshit or crazy-talk. Psychological theories are developed to explain why female thinking and behaviour are pathological and inferior. Language is one of the most important ways to establish male standards and defaults to the exclusion and harm of females, to normalize hate-speech against women, or just to erase females altogether. Jobs and skill domains dominated by males are superior and well-compensated, but become devalued if women are allowed to participate and end up outshining males, which they always do.
It may come as no surprise that it is probably more accurate to see females as the more complete human given that the X chromosome is more robust and information-rich than the Y and all fetuses start out female. And I’m going to amend that last part after some online discussion on this topic that all fetuses start out ‘unweaponized’, and then male fetuses become weaponized as a sort of biological compensation for being genetically deficient or incomplete. Other biology-oriented feminists have written more extensively on what goes on in the womb, so I won’t go into the details of female completeness and of males as possible genetic mutations early in human evolution. Suffice it to say that there is a simple and clear purpose in painting females as abnormal and deficient despite the ridiculousness of the idea and evidence to the contrary. Males design and control things to deliberately put females at a disadvantage, and then use any resulting and expected female failure or non-presence in the male-dominated world as proof positive of female inferiority and abnormality. Perfect examples of confirmation bias: one of many male cognitive biases or logical fallacies used to maintain dominance. And this further serves to cover up and paint male inadequacies as perfectly normal.
Normal, Natural, Moral and Their Conflation
Many people conflate the terms normal, natural and moral. They can occur at the same time, but they are not actually related nor do they necessarily belong together. Here is what they mean, and where we run into problems. Remember here, we are talking about human thoughts and behaviours.
Normal means typical or something done by the majority of people. If you, your thoughts and behaviours are normal, you are likely fitting in and not standing out in any way. The best way to be normal is to follow rules, avoid analyzing or questioning things, joining acceptable groups, and keeping your head down.
Natural, on the other hand, is poorly understood, but can be summed up as something that occurs without effort, doesn’t need to be forced, and needs little effort to maintain. Think about what having a natural talent for something means. You seem to be good at it right off the bat, you need little training to become an expert, and you don’t need to work that hard to maintain your skills. You also don’t need an overseer to punish you and correct you every time you make a mistake because you’re generally getting it right on your own. Unnatural is the opposite. If something is not natural for you, first of all, you probably won’t gravitate towards it, and if your participation is considered important, people are going to put a lot of effort into forcing you to do it, and to do it correctly, and not to quit.
I believe heterosexuality in women is a prime example of the unnatural. Heterosexuality is harmful to females, but it is the foundation of male dominance, so it is crucial that all girls and women participate. Because it is unnatural, it needs to be enforced. Males and their handmaidens put an enormous amount of effort into grooming girls from birth for lives of accepted penetrative sex (rape) and subservient relationships with males, and females who don’t comply are punished in a variety of ways that can be extremely dangerous and isolating. Given this, it makes sense that homosexual males vastly outnumber lesbians publicly. Lesbians pose a much bigger threat to the system of male dominance than gay men do. So, for females, heterosexuality is normal because most women comply with their programming and following the rules, but it’s highly unnatural. If it were natural, males wouldn’t need their system of patriarchy, coercing, controlling, threatening, and hurting females in all possible ways. I’ve written more on this topic here. Unfortunately, most people call something unnatural natural and vice versa, and when biased systems of morality or ethics are applied, things can go horribly wrong.
Males, as a class, are violent predators. It is both normal and natural, in this case. They are born weaponized with violent tendencies that are highly noticeable early in childhood and it is generally accepted as how things are, à la ‘boys will be boys’ – male violence is considered normal and no big deal. Further, nobody is forcing them to try to dominate or behave in dehumanizing and sadistic ways – this is natural for males. It’s easy for them, and they are very good at it. Trying to force them through education NOT to rape and torture and kill females, animals and nature is unnatural and doesn’t work. Interestingly, people privately or subconsciously accept that both of these are true, but publicly and if questioned, many will try to pass off atrocious male behaviour as one-offs (aka not normal) or fixable (aka not natural, but socialized). In this way, we never have to deal with male violence as a pandemic requiring a real solution.
Sadly, mostly in the normalization process, which I’ll discuss next, and in getting females to accept unnatural conditions and treatment, the male dominance system relies upon the application of moral judgments or ethical arguments. Very basically, normal is good. Abnormal is bad. Shaming, guilting, and instilling fear as well as handing out intermittent reward crumbs can go a long way to breaking down a woman or girl’s sense of self and certainty and logical ability. As a result, we see a lot of hate- and fear-driven reactions to natural, but abnormalized, female tendencies, such as lesbianism and female separatism, and those reactions are likely as violent as they are because of the false morality that has been a major part of the heteronormalization process.
The Normalization-Acceptance Process
Normalization, or the process of making something accepted as normal, is done through repeated exposure, for the most part. The more you see and hear something, the more familiar and ‘comfortable’ (I use that term loosely) it becomes. It is a psychological process. And you can normalize just about anything, even truly horrible acts. Think about things you have learned when exposed to other cultures, for example, and if you’ve had the chance to live there for an extended time, the things that may have shocked you at first, start to become part of your daily experience and thus become normal to you over time. We also see this across generations as behaviours once thought to be scandalous or abnormal are accepted, every-day behaviour today. It is not necessarily a bad thing when norms change over time. Sometimes, this is called ‘progress’. But it can also be called ‘desensitization’ when repeated exposure to harmful practices becomes business as usual for society over time.
And this is what patriarchy depends on to maintain itself, and how it deals out backlash when women start making tiny forays into becoming human. For example, normalization is what we’ve been seeing in pornography since its inception. Of course, men have been sexually exploiting women throughout history, but with the advancement of technology, they have been pushing sadistic limits. It has been a gradual process, so most males probably don’t even notice that they need more and more visual violence against women to get off these days. One upon a time, a static photo of a naked woman was enough to inspire a boner and its nasty aftermath. But these days, many men need to see a female child beaten and raped by a group of men on video to get the job done. Normalization. And in this case, there should be moral/ethical arguments attached to this, as men have gone so far as to legally have this called an art form, fantasy, and freedom of speech. Not crime or human rights abuses. And contrary to what males say, these ‘fantasies’ that they have superhumanly managed to compartmentalize have translated not into more fantasy, but actual, increasingly violent sex with live female partners (see the British article to consensual violent sex in my sidebar). Porn does not cause violence against women and girls, like socialization essentialists erroneously believe. MALES cause violence and were committing violence before porn existed. But porn absolutely does normalize violence against women and girls, and serves as both a reward (orgasm) and permission to act out their rape fantasies on girls and women and to enjoy and feel entitled to the harm they cause, while pretending it isn’t harm at all.
The “New Normal”
This is an increasingly and annoyingly popular phrase that’s used in a range of situations to describe a new standard, and often, what your life is going to be like after some kind of nasty event. Interestingly, it is NEVER used when talking about rape and how women and girls are supposed to deal with that. I think there are a few reasons for this.
1) Rape is something almost all women and girls experience in one form or another (date rape, forcible rape, coercive rape, consensual rape, etc) at least once in their lives. It is part of our experience as females across time and place under patriarchy. It is quite possibly the quintessential female experience. And I guess if you haven’t had a dick put in you yet in your life, you are both lucky and abnormal – and I know how weird that sounds. So given that rape is a normal experience given that most women experience it, and we never consider normal to be traumatic nor something we have to recover from or suffer with, then we can understand why rape is treated as a joke or no big deal.
2) Rape is something only females experience, therefore, it is trivial because males have deemed females to be trivial. It really helps the system of male domination if an experience is sex-specific and thus can be written off as lies or crazy lady bullshit. But if that doesn’t work – and sometimes it doesn’t – males will do their best to undermine what is going on and to steal the experience and make it their own. Men have done this with rape in Western countries when women demanded attention to its prevalence. The whole ‘men can be raped, tooooo!!!’ movement, helped along by lib-fems and even some radical feminists, is serious mind-fuckery, and I’ve talked about this in other posts. Rape can no longer be treated as a hate crime thanks to men, and the women who cry for them.
3) Rape is both narrowly and nebulously defined by men at the same time. It is something that happens in dark alleys and in other exceptional circumstances. So it is a rare event, supposedly, and men tell us that women lie about being raped all the time. So we don’t talk about it except to fearmonger in order to keep girls and women in line. As a result, we don’t prepare girls for what they will likely experience at some point. It just happens to ‘someone else’, usually bad girls who deserve it. And these days, we even tell select groups of women that they both lie about rape and are privileged anyway, therefore rape doesn’t really happen to them. And if they do report rape, they are probably taking the spotlight away from other women whose rapes are worse and constant… Yet, despite (or maybe because of) all the male-controlled messaging, all women are afraid of rape. And ding, ding ding, hence the success of the forced heterosexuality campaign. The rapist class offers its protection services from all the other members of the rapist class to the rapee class. And this is in exchange for consensual rape. It’s flawed logic that most women buy into. It’s kind of like letting bank robbers guard the bank vault in exchange for skimming a little off the top, consensually speaking… The bottom line is that when you are eventually raped, you usually don’t understand that you’ve been violated even if you know something is definitely wrong. It’s ‘normal’ womanhood, after all, and you’ve been groomed for the experience your entire life. If normal means typical, then yes, being a rape victim is absolutely normal. You don’t talk about it, and therefore you aren’t offered a ‘new normal’, but are expected to function as normal-normal, which implies that nothing is wrong.
Conclusion
I’ve said this many times in past posts: female people have normal and natural designations forced upon them because that is what patriarchy is built on and depends on to keep chugging along. We have no idea what a natural woman looks like. The ‘normal’ woman is not natural – violence and threats are not needed when something is natural. Woman has always been a male construction, and as a girl, she was guided and punished into her role most directly by her mother, and then through school and various other public institutions via a moralistic and systematic process of punishments and rewards and lots and lots of repetition. You may ask, well we know what is normal for women, so what is natural? Honestly, we don’t know, although it certainly is fun to speculate.
The take-home is this: if you’re not normal, for whatever reason, enjoy it. It’s a wild ride, and it probably gives you your very best chance of discovering your true natural self, whatever that may be.
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M is for Mother
I’ve been avoiding finishing what has been a partially-written post for months, but I’ve been inspired to action thanks to an unsolicited advertisement reminding me to worship at the feet of the most sacrosanct patriarchy-perpetuating, girl-destroying women on the planet: mothers. In addition, I really want to cut this albatross loose, so today is the day I finish and publish. Plus, I really want to move on to some juicy P is for ___ posts in this Alphabet series. So, let’s get started.
Today, there is a small set of taboo topics that is considered ‘dangerous’ – so dangerous that bad things can and do happen to the speaker or writer. The topics in question concern realities – truths, if you will – both subjective and objective, both relevant. Highly observable and measurable, hard to deny, and universal across time and place. What, pray tell, are these dangerous topics? Unsurprisingly, they are those concerning women’s status as human beings and the role males play in preventing and/or controlling that status. When these topics are talked about honestly – and they seldom are as it is dangerous to do so – shit gets real very quickly. Males get scared and angry and aggressive for being named correctly as the predator class. The males issue threats and commit actual violence, and they rally support for the male sex class, often painting themselves as victims. As well, many females get scared and angry and defensive on behalf of males, but also themselves as enablers who keep the shit show going. Females issue verbal threats against female truth-tellers and provide unanimous support for whatever male violence ensues.
Much of what drives these illogical female reactions is that women are not supposed to speak about their reality unless they are parotting the male version of female reality. Women’s reality is what men say it is, and even then, women are not supposed to talk about it publicly, at least in an analytical or critical way. So when a female person decides to speak publicly about female reality in a ‘no bullshit’ or even slightly critical way, you are almost always hearing about information that has been, throughout history, censored, erased and denied. And the speaker and the information will be attacked relentlessly, with attempts made at further censorship, erasure, threats of violence and other (social, political, economic) punishment, real violence, outright denial and various means of discreditation and silencing, such as ‘crazifying’, making false accusations of some -ism or -phobia, and application of bullshit lables such as ‘fundamentalist’ or ‘man-hater’, etc. Only females as a class experience this, and the attacks are always gang bangs with a lot of fellow females joining in to quell their cognitive dissonance and to keep socially and financially benefiting from staying on the path of least resistance (aka sucking dick, literally or figuratively).
Also note that the more important the subject matter is to upholding patriarchy, the more dangerous it is to talk about it. My post today addresses one of these taboo topics and is probably one of the most ‘dangerous’ a woman can address. Its official title is Aiding and Abetting, but as I am including this as part of the Alphabet Series, it gets a second special title:
M is for Mother
Lest anyone start reading this and then deliberately miss the point by focusing on an imagined ‘tone’ problem – something that ALL women who talk about ‘dangerous’ topics are accused of (in addition to being crazy or bitter or ‘phobic’ or hairy man-hating dykes or prudes or fundies, etc.) – I’m going to state right here that there is no sarcasm going on. This isn’t an ‘attack’. There is no intended sneering, no condescending tone. It is straight talk. There may be positing or hypothesizing here and there, but this is not satire or parody or fun-poking or whatever genre of writing you want to explain it away as. It’s just an un-sugar-coated description of how things work. Note that the point of this post is not to blame mothers for all the problems in the world, which is how many readers might wish to interpret this. It is a critique of the system and the role or archetype of Mother that arises from that system that are so crucial to keeping men in a position of power and to keeping women and girls utterly destroyed inside and thus, controllable. It is also a criticism of how thoroughly women have embraced their subservient role and of the role they DO play in making sure our daughters stay shackled and victimized and accepting it without serious resistance. After men, mothers are the next biggest whiners about martyrdom and victimization and their unsung heroism of toeing the party line, so deliberate misinterpretation of what I say is expected.
Now, I don’t for a second believe that women cause the majority of the world’s problems – seriously, why the hell would women ever devise a system that oppresses and dehumanizes them??? – BUT they do allow problems to continue in various ways, and critique and criticism are therefore warranted and necessary. But, men are the problem and the chief beneficiaries of the system they run and the roles that come out of that system, period. This post, however, is neither about men nor about biological motherhood, but about the male-created role or archetype of Mother that women both willingly and unwillingly take on and groom their daughters for, and how these women, as a result, keep the cycle of female oppression in place and never-ending. The whole point of creating boxes for women and girls to live in is to control their behaviour, to ensure that this behaviour supports and perpetuates male freedom to control and brutalize, and to make it impossible for women and girls to discover their own true freedom and selves.
Also note that I’m not writing this preamble to apologize in advance – something ALL women are not only required to do when they speak publicly, especially about taboo topics, but are criticized for doing by those self-appointed analysts/critics of women’s ‘inferior’ speech tendencies. I apologize for nothing. Speaking about reality is not akin to doing something wrong – again, something all girls grow up learning in order to keep them silent and compliant as adults. So, if you start reading this and you find you can’t handle it, here is my suggestion. Move on. Go watch a cat video. Go suck a dick. Just don’t stay here and dare to think deeply about this timeless, universal and highly problematic issue. (Okay, there was a little sarcasm there, but it ends here.)
So, what was I saying? Oh yes, M is for Mother.
This truly is a massive topic, but I’m only going to cover the bits that are relevant to my thinking at this point in time and try to break this thinking down into the following categories that make it easier for your to follow.
- Motherhood: A Relationship, Not a Job
- The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Mother)
- Welcome to Shit Mountain: The Woman Hierarchy
- Martyrdom: The Blame Game vs. Responsibility
- Boy-Moms
- Mommy Dearest: Narcissistic Mothers
- The Future of Humanity: Redefining Motherhood
1. Motherhood: A Relationship, Not a Job
One of the major complaints that is getting more and more play among mothers these days is that motherhood is a ‘job’ and compensation should absolutely be required for said ‘job’. I find the whole discussion bizarre, to be honest, and for a few reasons. I want to comment on a) compensation and b) what ‘job’ means. I also want to discuss choice briefly.
a) First, by and large, mothers ARE compensated for being mothers. If you go the housewife/mother route, and you enter the heterosexual contract, then this is what you have agreed to: you exchange your domestic services, including childrearing, cleaning, cooking, and male ego-building, as well as lifelong access to your cunt for a home, food, clothing, entertainment and spending money, as well as protection services. I have never worked a job where I get accommodation, food, clothing, spending money and safety. If you are a mother and you are not getting these things, then you fucked up. You don’t have an understanding of the hetero contract and you fucked up. Sorry.
I would not have survived financially if I had not had a child.
Private conversation with a single mother in Canada (May, 2021) where she told me that her child was, essentially, her ‘meal ticket’ and her protection. She got subsidized housing, more nourishing food, financial assistance, and more – simply for being a single mother. For women, motherhood is the fastest and easiest way to stay alive. And men designed it to be this way.
There are also some societies – Canada is one of them – that will provide various compensation to mothers for doing nothing other than popping out a kid. The quote above comes from a much longer conversation I had with a single mother in Canada last year. I was stunned at everything she was given and that she had access to. She, of course, commented at how unfair it was to men that she got better quality food than everyone else, but she couldn’t see that the single, childless women living in poverty were the most vulnerable. During that same time period, I also briefly lived with a social worker who told me stories of lone women living in homeless ‘hotels’ run by the government where they would wake up in their beds mid-rape after homeless men had targeted them and broken into their rooms. Safe, subsidized housing NEVER goes to these ultra-vulnerable women. Sometimes, they end up in shelters with predatory trannies pretending to be women, as well.
b) It is a little off-putting when mothers see their role as a job. There are several things that distinguish motherhood from an actual job. First, for such a ‘skilled’ and life-or-death ‘job’, there are absolutely no standards required for candidates. Literally anyone can breed. There are no qualifications needed, no intelligence or skills required. No social skills. No references are demanded. No experience. No proof of competence. As a teacher, I’ve had to do multiple RCMP, fingerprinted criminal record checks to prove I’m not a child rapist or abuser. Mothers? Nope. Never. You also can’t be fired from being a mother. Very few children are ever taken from abusive mothers, especially the kinds of abuse that are just commonplace or that don’t involve broken bones. You can destroy a child from the inside out over the course of your lifetime, and never lose your ‘job’.
c) Finally, and on a related note, motherhood is a choice. In most parts of the world, and increasingly so in more and more places, there is no gun to a woman’s head. Women are allowed to earn their own money, even in strict, religious countries. Unlike jobs, motherhood is not required for survival, but it is certainly the easiest route to survival for a female if you don’t want to have to compete and suffer and truly work hard in the real world. Motherhood is a choice, it is a relationship, and it is a privilege that raises your status in society (among women). You bring a creature into the world without their consent, which means this is a completely selfish act. Acting like the child is forcing you to care for them is pure delusion, although this is a common way of thinking in places like China, where parents regularly make their children feel guilty for existing and taking up family resources.
2. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Mother)
Only if you define and break down the role of Mother in the patriarchal sense, can you understand why there are so many problems for women. Mothers complain endlessly that they are held up to impossible standards or that they are blamed for everything in society where children are concerned. Note that they don’t see breeding and serving men as the root of the problem, and if you can’t see the root of a problem, that problem can never be solved. When we talk of motherhood, we are not talking about biological motherhood, we are referring to the role or archetype that has been created as a category for women. Social categories or archetypes for women are lose-lose situations. No woman ever truly wins in a society where she doesn’t have the freedom to be fully human. When men define our roles, it is not for our benefit, even when they paint it as such. Let’s look at what being a ‘Good Mother means in male-dominated society.
You know we live in a male-controlled society because the expectations for men are much lower in all possible senses, if expectations or standards exist at all. Being a ‘Good Father’ is almost meaningless. At most, it means having a paying a job so that his property can eat. Fathers don’t have to talk to the kids, spend time with them, help them, nurture them, teach them, cook for them, or anything requiring time and attention. They just have to pay the bills. I’ve seldom seen men deemed ‘Bad Fathers’, even when they run out on the family, don’t provide money, or even abuse the children or wife/whore. But I’m not criticizing this as it’s pointless and a common pastime of hetero breeder women who aren’t really interested in fighting to change a shitty system. And this system has been in place since marriage was invented by men. To be a Good Mother, you have to possess a whole host of supposedly innate female characteristics and skills, including nurturing, cleaning, cooking, empathizing, worrying, nagging, being sweet, self-sacrificing, mamma-bear-fighting, advice-giving, being omniscient, forgiving. And I could go on. The thing is that if you list the entire host of skills and characteristics that make up a Good Mother, you’ll find a lot of contradictory stuff. And a lot of the characteristics and behaviours that Good Mothers are supposed to exhibit are exalted one minute and then criticized or made fun of the next minute. It’s designed that way for a very specific reason. Male dominance is about keeping women off-balance and insecure, always faced with catch-22’s and constantly questioning whether they are measuring up to impossible or contradictory standards.
Reality: if you get past the long and strange list of what mothers are supposed to be, there really are only a few requirements. a) Good Mothers breed sons and ensure they are made well aware of their male privilege from Day 1 (to be discussed more in the section on Boy-Moms), and b) Good Mothers break down their daughters psychologically and groom them to accept eventual heterosexual victimhood as rape-slaves (wives) and mothers. Bad mothers produce gay sons, or even worse, lesbians or asexual daughters who decide not to breed. No mother wants her daughter to hate men and she certainly won’t teach her daughter about rape and how self-respect and serving males don’t go together. (Delve more into the destruction of girls in G is for Girl.)
3. Welcome to Shit Mountain: The Woman Hierarchy
In our patriarchal world, hierarchy exists. Males are very much about domination, and you should hold suspect any male who claims he is an ‘equalist’ or any kind of communist, socialist or feminist. Men, despite what they say, don’t believe in equality between the sexes. They may believe that males can be equal or at least have the ability to rise above their station, but if you have the skill to really pin a man down with regard to what he truly believes, you’ll find that every one of them has caveats and conditions that prevent females from attaining and deserving the very freedoms he believes he, as a male, is entitled to. So, males and females exist on separate planes. I’m going to describe them in the following way. Men exist on a ladder. They can rise above their station, and they can also fall. Their hierarchy is based primarily on wealth/ownership. In the distant past, physical strength may have been more important in attaining power, but in these modern times, this is not the case at all. Power is all about ownership.
It is a different scene for females.
Picture, if you will, a massive shit heap. It stinks, it begs cleaning, but cleaning doesn’t work, the shit is not just stuff to clean, but also physical and sexual danger as well as poverty, and the contributors to the pile are mainly those who oppress you – males, whose ladder hangs above you out of reach – or women who are benefitting from the oppressor class slightly more than you are. All women live on the shit heap – a hierarchy that is based almost exclusively on sex – or in other words, how you use your vagina and uterus. The easiest way to climb shit mountain is to sell your vagina to a wealthy male and to pop out some kids. The air is a little fresher near the top, you are safer with more money, and you can shit on women beneath you and feel smug about it. The surest way to the bottom, where eventually you will realize you cannot move up at all (given that sex is tied to age for women) is a) not to have kids, and b) not to let men rape you with your consent (aka you’re a lez or asexual) in exchange for protection, a home and more buying power.
It should also be noted that those lower on the hierarchy always do more to support those above them, especially those who hurt them. Interestingly, we are always told the opposite. Rich males somehow provide jobs to those lower down. But think of this. Who pays for all the male criminals in prison, keeping rapists alive so they can go out and rape again? Women’s tax dollars go into keeping alive the men who instill fear in them. All men benefit from rape – men who don’t rape indiscriminantly are ‘good men’ and can also offer their protection racket to women who fear being raped, for example – so their tax dollars are an investment. Further, there is a disproportionate, and unreciprocated, amount of lesbian labour, threats to safety, and money put into heterosexual and breeding women’s issues, such as birth control, abortion, domestic violence shelters and more – issues that are seldom, if ever, an issue for these toiling women. Lesbians also devote a disproportionate and unreciprocated amount of time and money into gay men’s (and these days, tranny dudes’) issues. Again, the lower on the shit heap you sit, the more you support your oppressors and better-offs.
Conclusion: mothers do NOT sit at the bottom of the shit heap, despite their claims that they do. Following society’s rules gives you a leg up, not the opposite. If you are breeding and suffering as a result, you likely don’t understand how heterosexuality works and failed to play the game correctly. You may not be able to save yourself at this point, but you can make sure you save your daughter(s) from forced heterosexuality and some of the evils of the world. But you won’t. Of course.
4. Martyrdom: The Blame Game vs. Responsibility
All female archetypes or roles created by men are designed for a) usage/consumption, b) control, and c) convenient scapegoating and shaming and playing us off against each other. Despite what you may want to think, I am not a denier of the fact that men have tended to blame mothers for all sorts of shit throughout history. Males in the psychological domain have been some of the worst offenders. I’m a defender of the reality of psychological mechanisms and such, but I also don’t believe males have any business working in any of the ‘helping’ professions. Male help almost always ends up further damaging women who are already damaged thanks to men and their handmaidens.
Having said that, mothers do a shit load of damage in this world, especially to daughters, and they SHOULD be called out for their often complex roles in destroying girls and building up future rapists (sons). As mentioned earlier, very few females are qualified to parent children due to a lack of standards for the ‘job’ of motherhood. Our world acknowledges that there are many problem parents, but gasp in horror if you suggest that there are people who just shouldn’t breed. Just standard patriarchal thinking, where we protect those who should know better and punish the innocent who have no choice in the matter… And I verge on digressing.
I want to mention two things mothers SHOULD be called out for in the blame game. First, they are quite happy to take responsibility for the role they play in the successes of their children, but are magically innocent and ignorant when their child ends up as a failure, screw-up or, worse, a monster. It’s just not possible to have such selective effects on behaviour. Either take full responsibility, or take no responsibility or get a clue about the extent of your sphere of influence.
Second, mothers have always protested being blamed more than fathers are for things that happen to their children or how their children end up. At the same time, they use the argument that they are the primary care-givers in custody cases. The vast majority of the time, it is the mother who is present 100% (or significant percentage) of the time for the first 5 years of a child’s life – not the father. Many fathers spend little to no time with kids, and when they do spend time, it is often ‘fun stuff’, not care-giving. And women enter breeding relationships with this understanding – if they don’t, they are definitely not qualified to breed… If you are the primary influence, then you bear the brunt of the responsibility for the shit that happens to your kid. Period.
Bottom line: if you want to want to take on the role that can be one of life or death for a minor, then you also have to be willing to take responsibility for your fuck-ups. You can’t be an adult and refuse responsibility at the same time. Don’t play the martyr.
5. Boy-Moms
They have always sat at the top of the lady-hierarchy. Even though the most blatant girl hatred manifests differently now, son love is still a thing in all cultures. As mentioned above, it is the job of a Good Mother to make sure her sons walk the planet with a distinct and internalized sense of their deservedness and privilege as males. The boy-mom of today is an uber-enabler of their son(s). Like a good mother is supposed to do, she will love him unconditionally, and will even cover up his crimes, including the most grievous woman-hating of them. Mothers rally behind a rapist son, and will go so far as to attack or censor his female victims.
As much as these women make me ill, I have to admit a fascination with the truly fucked up psychology any woman who breeds a son must deal with. You have to do mental gymnastics to let a dude fuck your body, but to create and birth a son and to watch him inevitably go from innocent, sexless baby to what so many young lads turn into, and to make the endless excuses for him over the years? To me that is just endless mental trauma to constantly have to deny reality. I’ve talked to and watched tons of boy-moms deal with the shit that comes out of their sons’ mouths. Even in the last few months, I got to know a boy-mom whose 7-year-old was constantly displaying what I consider to be budding psychopathic tendencies. She showered him with kisses constantly, while at the same time not being able to explain why most of what he talked about was hurting and/or killing people. Personally, the kid gave me the creeps, not just as someone who used to work in forensics and personality disorders, but as a woman with her eyes wide open and with no emotional or biological ties to this mini-monster-boy-child.
Advice: I’ve said this in the past and I’ll say it again. At the end of the day, boy-moms are no friends to women. They are more trauma-bonded to males than any other group of women, and when push comes to shove, they will destroy any innocent woman or girl who threatens the privilege of their son, even if that son is a killer and rapist. These women also tend to be worse to daughters when there is also a son in the picture. I’m speaking from experience, and I’ve heard enough personal anecdotes to give credence to the theory.
6. Mommy Dearest: Narcissistic Mothers:
Most of why I so wish women had freedom from forced heterosexuality and forced breeding is because of the young female victims that result. Girls are relentlessly conditioned from birth to hate themselves, and by extension, all females. So how can an adult female with a lifetime of such abuse possibly be an adequate mother to a girl? I mean, as explained above, this is part of playing the patriarchal role of Good Mother. Your job is to destroy your girls so that they make good, subservient, heterosexual victims and breeders in adulthood.
The average, ‘normal’ mother is dangerous to daughters. But what happens when your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)? These women will abuse boys, but they will absolutely destroy their daughters, psychologically. I experienced this, myself. And unfortunately, my father was co-dependent with narcissistic tendencies and a mental health professional, on top of that. It was a bad situation to grow up in (understatement!) and I went No Contact at the age of 20 (!), so let’s just say I understand manipulation and abuse on an expert level, and have a bit of a saviour complex when it comes to girls with abusive parents, especially mothers. Breeding just wasn’t even an option for me – can you imagine how selfish you’d have to be to potentially put a child at risk after growing up abused and also potentially exposing that child to abusive family members? You have to stop cycles like these.
Narcissistic mothers are often children of narcissistic parents. The thing about personality disorders is that while we may be born with certain traits, our environments can certainly make things so much worse. It isn’t a cut and dry nature-nurture situation.
Konstantin: “And your mother?…? …? No, Villanelle.”
Villanelle: “She deserved it.”
Konstantin: “Of course she deserved it. Everyone’s mother deserves it. But you’re not supposed to do it. You were supposed to grow up and realize she isn’t actually evil. She is just insane.
From the series, ‘Killing Eve’. Conversation following Villanelle’s return from Russia after killing her abusive, NPD mother.
If you are female and believe your mother was/is NPD, I have a great link in my sidebar to a site called Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. It was recommended to me years ago by a fellow traumatized woman, and it helped me a great deal. You can spend most of your life feeling like you are insane or imagining things in this horrible and bizarre parental situation. You’ve stopped telling people because no one will ever believe that your mother is abusive – mothers are more likely to be lionized and defended than blamed, despite what mothers say. And it is really hard to describe narcissistic abuse to people who have never experienced it before. You do end up sounding like there is something wrong with you.
7. The Future of Humanity: Redefining Motherhood
I am a staunch anti-natalist. I don’t support human breeding. I don’t believe it is possible for humans to continue on a positive trajectory as long as males exist, as I don’t believe women can be free if males exist. I don’t believe males can redeem themselves, and women exist as male-defined social constructs. Things aren’t getting better socially, politically, demographically, environmentally, economically, and they won’t.
I like to spend time thinking about three human scenarios that seem positive to me and that most people find scary, mostly because most people are self-centred and human-centric and are often infected with male-created religious values, which are anti-life (ironically, given what they say they believe in).
a) VHEM – the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. This is based on the idea that humans are a failed experiment of sorts. More males than females sign on to this ideology, which makes sense to me, as women tend to buy into male-defined roles, and thus cannot develop identities outside of being sex objects. The idea of not breeding, like men have told us we must since time began, strips so many women of their identity, sadly. Anyhow, male believers in this ideology typically and erroneously like to share blame for the state of the world with women. Myself, I acknowledge that males have created overpopulation and all the shit that has resulted from that. I have no problem with humans just stopping and giving the world over to the remaing creatures who absolutely are able to control their populations simply because they don’t have the ‘intelligence’ to fuck with the system. Human intelligence in the hands of men means that male irrationality reigns and we live unnaturally.
b) A New Model of Motherhood. If we were to continue the human race, one option is to eliminate males, put breeding firmly in the domain of women, who after recovering from slavery, would rediscover their natural biophilia. Multiple options would exist to continue the species. Parthenogenisis or use of artifical wombs coupled with a female model of population replacement rather than the male model of out-of-control growth would allow humans to downsize to a small unobtrusive population, replenish and maintain healthy resource levels, and remove biological child ownership from the mix and surrounding all children with multiple sources of love and learning. Humans can live more like similar mammal species instead of necrophilic zombots.
c) Hybridization. I’m a big fan of human transformation. Male elimination, as in the previous category, is a given and is necessary for healthy evolution, and the best traits of humanity could be blended with say, plants. Plants are incredible and responsible breeders, and I’d be perfectly keen seeing how other human systems, such as communication, would be improved and simplified with a different kind of connectedness such as use of a plantesque root system.
Conclusion
There is so much more that could be said on this topic, but I’ll end here with the following. I would truly love to see what humanity could and would look like if women could live completely separate from or without the existence of males. Nothing but horrors have resulted from male domination, and the world is certainly not thriving because of it. Our accomplishments are not true accomplishments, especially when held up against the widespread suffering of all species. I would love to see motherhood defined differently, or not at all. I would certainly love to see women and girls free from being forced to define themselves in terms of their uteri and vaginas. Queer theory does not address this problem by erasing women as a category. The problem is not having female body parts, but the fact that we are oppressed by males because of them.
If you want to be part of the solution, don’t breed (if you haven’t done so yet). Support girls unconditionally and believe them and believe in them. Stay away from male-identified, toxic females if you can. And don’t devote your time, money and energy to males if that is possible for you. And finally, remember that we women exist publicly, and often privately, in male-defined categories. It’s best, but hardest, to fight against this categorization. Remember that almost all women you meet gave in a long time ago. Hold them responsible for their actions, but not for the creation of these limiting boxes.
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Addendum
For those who would like a wonderfully done audio version of this post, please head to Radical Ramblings’ Youtube channel.
It’s Biology: They’ve Got ‘Surround, Terrorize and Destroy’ Down to an Art at 12
Bear with me, my Alphabet Series is on hold for the next while. I am ‘this close’ to finding myself in a regular, but low-paying, job with a reputable international organization. So life is a bit weird right now. That is the only word I have for it, although it isn’t ‘weird’ in the way it is normally weird. And yes, weird is normal. For me. Anyhow, that is neither here nor there. For the next little while, as I wait for bureaucratic stuff to move along in its glacial way, I am doing some private teaching gigs of the ESL sort.
I’m an extremely experienced, but highly unconventional, teacher. Unlike most teacher-teachers, I came to the profession with a ton of experience in the non-teaching realm, particularly in research and policy. I’m a statistician and methodologist by training, and my formal, funded-rather-than-paid, research background was in intelligence and abilities measurement, with paid-paid research sidelines in the areas of personality disorders and violent male crime, including sex (hate) crimes against women. So I kinda know a wee bit about how males define intelligence (and how they’ve abused these definitions and the tools they’ve based their ‘thinking’ on), and I’ve developed my own models of unconventionally (woman) defined intelligence, which I’ve guest lectured on in the past. I also have extensive, EVIDENCE-based knowledge of what males do to females, in addition to my extensive personal experience with what males have done to ME. Further, as a long-time educator who has worked with all ages and in many countries and cultures, and who is trained in behavioural assessment, observation, testing, evaluation, and the data-based 5-W’s and 1-H of male violence, I can speak with more knowledge and expertise about the differences between males and females at any age, including the young. Really, this has nothing to do with ‘feminism’ and everything to do with data and seeing reality. You don’t have to be a female seperatist to correctly interpret what the data show. And I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.
Males and females are different.
Males and females are not the same.
One of these things is not like the other, yadda yadda yadda.
So, males do not equal females.
And, the most popular one: the clear and present danger differences are rooted in BIOLOGY, so you can’t dream or plan your way out of the horrors you see as an educator, or simply as a woman in daily life. Period. I don’t care if it makes you feel bad or it sounds ‘negative’. Males are biologically different than females and these differences show up in how their brains works and in the behaviour that is controlled by their brains.
But let me confuse a few of you here because most people are dichotomous thinkers and I am decidedly not. The sadism, the violent and barely controlled, illogical emotionality, and the immaturity that results from male biology leads to a system of socialization. This system was designed by these violent ones, and it serves a purpose. It allows and gives a ‘justification’ to males to maintain their natural violent tendencies and their penchant for domination and destruction, and forces a whole host of unnatural subservient behaviours in females using similar illogical justifications (backed up with violence). So see, it is not simply biological OR sociological essentialism. When does that kind of thinking ever explain anything adequately?
The naturally violent (males) control the rest (females) through violence (biological imperative) and mindfuckery (the system of socialization).
Anyhoo, back to what I was saying. I’m doing a bunch of private teaching gigs at the mo, and unfortunately, many of my students are male. I’ve got an annoying adult Asian male right now, about whom I may write, as he is bizarre and barely tolerable, and he is teaching me the most unbelievable things about Korea that I feel I must share with the world for shits and giggles. He is also a classic mansplainer. But I’ve also got a bunch of boy children. I hate boy children – less than adult males, but still. Yet, I am the consummate professional, and a girl’s gotta eat, so I try to teach these fuckers in the most unbiased way I possibly can. And yes, I’m fucking good at it. I actively work on my control of personal biases – I am highly aware of my behaviour. I’m definitely not perfect. But in a professional role, I take this shit seriously. Unlike male teachers. And unlike women who teach girls (goddammit, I have stories about the shit female teachers say and do to female students…) Anyhow, I’m really good at lying/hiding my true self/compartmentalizing because I am female and have to survive in this world. If women behaved like men and reacted violently and proportionately to all the shit that happened to them in this world at the hands and dicks of males, no male would exist. So, I insist that women are generally better liars and more controlled than men – and think of the illness we carry resulting from the forced suppression of so much righteous anger! So, of course, I’ve learned to pick my battles. Fighting with a 12-year-old future rapist isn’t worth my gynergy. I try to de-sex them in my mind in order to get through my job requirements. In my ideal world (where I’m still teaching, that is), I would only teach female students.
Now, when you teach boy children, a few things become immediately clear. But before I get into that, let me say one other thing first. Mothers constantly pull the superiority crap with non-breeding women. The whole: “You don’t have children, so you don’t know, do you?” thing is a constant, eye-rolling experience for me. Smugness issue aside, I would go along with this, except for one thing. I frequently seem to understand more about children than the average mother. I often think these women are fucking clueless. They have no idea what their kids do online. They have no idea that what their kids tell them is mostly bullshit. They have no idea how to parent children, including setting limits, teaching critical thinking, and for fuck sake, just teaching basic ethics. But it makes sense. There really are no qualifications for the ‘job’ of parenthood. And I’ll stop there as I’m still writing a torturous (for me) post on mothers, which will be uber-unpopular, but which must be said. The bottom line here is mothers don’t have a fucking clue about their sons. I do.
So back to the shit you notice right away about boys vs girls. And yes, I’ve written about boys and girls in the classroom before. First, girls are smarter, more hard-working, and more creative than boys. Sorry, boy-moms. You’ve pooped a turd, to put it vulgarly. Second, boy-moms who manage to get in on your teaching session (seriously, try to prevent this at all cost), will hijack your class, and if there are girls present, they will try to force you to give preferential treatment to their boys and will want you to reward their boys’ laziness and sulking in the same way that you reward girls’ effort and stellar answers. Third, the attention span of a boy is but milliseconds. As my researcher’s mind watches them work their magic, I marvel at how little stamina their brains have, how little computing power (yeah, boys can’t do math either), how little logic ability they possess. The list goes on. Remember that I am an expert in abilities assessment. With the occasional exception that doesn’t negate the general rule, boys are just poorer at everything – and YET, they are rewarded, promoted, and given opportunities while girls’ potential is so often pushed aside so they can focus on becoming mothers. The rage you see in adult males these days is a direct result of being forced to deal with actual competition from females (not low-level competition from other males). Males never had to face reality in the past when they deliberately (guess why!?!) kept females out of school and the workforce. Facing their inadequacy makes men mad. And you see this shit starting in boys in mixed classrooms, reinforced by boy-moms from the sidelines. They sulk and yell and force attention on themselves, thus derailing lessons and redirecting attention from girls.
I insist that it’s biological. It starts early and it happens in every culture and race. Their lower abilities are biological. Their explosive and disruptive emotionality is biological. And moms (dads to a lesser extent, as they don’t give a shit about the mundane details of their property, and are busy reaping the profits of being violent and inadequate) and teachers and the rest of people that make up the patriarchal system reward this biological inferiority and punish female superiority while instilling bizarre, self-hating, and subservient behaviours to replace whatever girls were born with. I ask, will we women ever know what we are truly capable of???
So I’ll get to the anecdote that inspired the title of this post. I teach a couple of 12-year-old males along with a completely fucked up 7-year-old male, and yesterday, things were over-the-top focused on their violent thoughts, even though none of the material I introduced was connected to violence at all. I swear I have never had a class with a girl, woman, or group of females where every fucking answer they gave me involved killing other people or doing other nasty shit. But yesterday, even from the 7-year-old boy, during the language + creativity exercises I gave them, all the boys could come up with were ways to hurt or kill people. There was no actual creativity happening. And then, one of the 12-year-olds told me a story – that he was very PROUD of, like in a moral high ground sort of way – regarding how he and some of his dude-bros taught a girl a lesson online.
Now, the mother of these kids, like all boy-moms, doesn’t have a clue how much time these boys spend online and what they get up to. Said boy is an amateur ‘hacker’ and spends what I consider to be too much time on online gaming forums having discussions with complete strangers and some online ‘friends’. One day, during one of these discussions, a person perceived to be female ‘dissed’ the boy’s mother. Personally, the situation smacked, not of female behaviour, but of male behaviour. That classic ‘your mom is a whore’ taunt-fest is something most boys engage in. When I was a kid, it happened on the playground – there was no online world. Now, it is everywhere, including the internet. I’ve never witnessed girls do this. But anyone can be anyone online, and we know males enjoy masquerading as females for a variety of pervy reasons. So anyhow, this 12-year-old – who, by the way, believes in the current po-mo rhetoric that is spreading from the West to far-off places, including where I live, that males = females, therefore females are as violent and aggressive as males – decided to teach this ‘girl’ a lesson. He gathered his online dude-bros, did some basic hacking, located this girl’s meat world address and then threatened her with coming to get her. Basically, the same shit you see MRAs try to do to radical feminists who dare to speak online. Doxxing, and the requisite rape and death threats in order to scare her into silence or removing herself from the internet altogether. I don’t know if there were rape or death threats in this particular instance of 12-year-old male terrorism of what they thought was a lone female (I still think the kid was actually male), but this boy truly believed, as he explained to me, that her crime of dissing his mom warranted an online, organized gang-bang designed to scare the shit out of her.
Nobody taught him this. The male mind – the manifestation of the activities of the brain, which is part of the body, which is a biological entity, created, not of socialization, but of DNA – goes there naturally. It sees prey, it thinks violent thoughts, it creates justification for that violence, and then it pounces and carries the violence out. And then it gets away with it! Millennia of evidence, and yet so much denial and blindness and belief that it can be changed. Through education, no less!
Wake up.
[Included in the Conversations with Men series. Boy, you’ll be a man soon…]
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One Down…
One of the things that I absolutely hate about straight women and why I’ve stopped supporting their endless, mostly self-created and self-perpetuating ‘man problems’ is their flip-floppishness when it comes to allying with women. This warrants a deeper analysis – ‘why’ is my favourite question, after all – and I’ve written about a part of it in my post on friendship. Some feminists have tackled other parts with allusions to trauma bonds and the like. Really, our system of patriarchal brainwashing and compulsory heterosexuality is a massive topic. I’ll just say for now that I don’t blame women for patriarchy, but I do hold them accountable for hurting other women and refusing to see and/or accept reality (aka being ‘willingly ignorant’). Unlike how men paint feminists (incorrectly, I might add – big surprise), I don’t think women ‘can do no wrong’. And as a non-dichotomous thinker, I also don’t equate males to females either – the bad things that women do manage to do cannot in any possible way compare to the bad shit that men do. I mean seriously, if you take all the bad deeds that women have done throughout history and put them on a scale, and on the other side, you put all the bad deeds that men have done in 2021 alone, the male side of the scale would not only hit the ground, but it would smash into the earth and tunnel a hole straight through to China (or whatever place is directly across from you on the globe)! You think I jest or hyperbolize? Well, the latter, maybe a smidge. But hmmm, keep those blinders on, ladies…
I also don’t automatically assume women are ‘stoopid’ like the average black-pilled woman is annoyingly wont to do (e.g., women are stoopid because even when men rape them, they still go back for more abuse!). The ‘stoopid’ label is incorrect, simplistic (also ‘willingly ignorant’), and woman-hating/an ad feminem attack. In short, I think women are smart enough to see what’s going on, but among all the shitty ‘choices’ available, it is easier and more advantageous in many ways to keep the fuck machine going with men. Despite the gaslighting I constantly experience from these women regarding my life being so goddamn ‘easy’, my way is actually infinitely harder and more dangerous. If my life were so easy, all women would be doing it, and I wouldn’t have anything to write about, amiright?
Anyhow, long preamble over, I write this following getting an email from a former female professor from my grad school days. Or rather, an email forward. The gist of it was that the man who ran our laboratory back in the day has died after several years of brain deterioration (ahem). This man played a part in destroying both of our careers, while uplifting all the careers of the male professors and grad students (including the *oppressed* black males and other non-white males in our lab). I remember back when I interviewed at that university for that lab, I was just this wide-eyed, 23-year-old, superstar Canadian girl, amazed that I was being wined and dined by big American research powerhouse universities. This guy took me out for dinner, and smart though I was, I became confused. He brought along a woman who didn’t have any connection to the uni or the program. Turns out she was his former grad student and he was currently fucking her (whether he was fucking her while she was still his student, who knows?) But classy, eh? Now, the question remains – and I don’t really care, to be honest – did she invite herself along (aka “I don’t trust you because you tend to fuck female grad students…”) or was it his idea (aka “you’ve got competition, bitch”)?
He was an asshole to women in so many ways. And I learned a lot from this turd, although not about my professional field – about life and how it really doesn’t get better for women with increased education. And sorry, liberals, white women aren’t winning. Ever. Nothing you say under the guise of SJWing is anything I’ve ever experienced or witnessed. Ever.
The email arrived a few days ago and I haven’t responded to it yet. I’m thinking about what my response should be, and I hate that this is taking up any of my headspace at all. As I’d like to write an honest response, I’m considering just ignoring the email altogether because honesty doesn’t work for hetero women (or any man). I’ve known this woman for a long, long time – we’re currently not on the greatest of terms. Well, more like ‘not bad, not good’, in my opinion. I know why this is so, but it’s not germane to the current story. I’ve mentioned her before in my post on how women are isolated from one another. She is hetero, feminine, and a mother of two sons. And a repeat abuse victim who keeps finding yet another loser man to attach herself to when she starts feeling lonely and isolated. I suppose I get it, but it is really annoying to be around, because despite the fact that she is super smart, a great researcher, a fucking awesome teacher, and she has a PhD in a field that perfectly places her in a position to analyze and understand literal raw data, she absolutely refuses to see the truth about males.
Part of the problem in deciding on my response is that I’m not sure why my former prof sent the information. I’ve heard through a mutual acquaintance that she has found a new man to fuck, so she could be in a pro-male frame of mind and has sad-feelz about this amaaaayzing dead man. Like I said, hetero women go back and forth in their alliance with non-hetero women depending on what day it is. Perhaps, she is relieved that he’s gone from the planet and knows I will be too? Much less likely. To be honest, I haven’t thought about this asshole since I was a student because so many more assholes came after him to make my life hell. And besides, I found my way out from under his direct influence after my first year of abuse, which helped me move on. It hurt my career, of course, but it might have been worse otherwise? The final possibility is that she is just reaching out and this was a conveniently timed event of shared ‘interest’ that provided an excuse to do it. But really, I’m sick of hetero women needing excuses to bond with me other than “I need someone to complain to about my current abusive man or the loneliness resulting from not having a man.” It’s just sad that this email is also coming about because of a man, pleased though I may be at the thought of his death.
All I am thinking right now is: one down, 4 billion to go…
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Cry Like a Boy vs Cry Like a Girl: An Observation
Not one of my standard lengthy posts, but rather an observation. And it’s an observation that transcends race and country, and likely time, as well. I say this as I am now in another country and culture that are completely foreign to me (I’m on the brink of finally getting another job, though). And yet again, as I observe daily life and goings-on, I realize that no matter where I go, people are all pretty much the same. There are differences in language and customs and the manifestations of misogyny, but the biologicals are reliable.
And so I come to male and female children, and an example of behaviour that I see over and over no matter what culture I find myself in.
First, let’s get one thing straight. Unless there is something wrong or abnormal with the kid, ALL kids cry. Biologically, this is a truth. Males have tear ducts, but their ducts are larger, so it takes longer for them to fill up and spill over. So males and females may ‘cry’ the same amount, but we might see clearly observable evidence of it in the form of tears more in females. So the slur against females: “Cry like a little girl.” is not quite accurate in the way it was intended. And of course, in all slurs against females (which are all inaccurate), there is an implied weakness – this one being that females cry more than males. Which, we know is not true. In my observations, little boys seem to cry as much (if not more) than little girls, AND they also make a hell of a lot more noise. Seriously.
Now, here is my added observation based on something I first heard and then saw out my window the other morning. The little boy next door and his dog were ‘interacting’. I’m not sure how it started, but by the time I feasted my eyes on the sitch, the boy was busy kicking the dog in the head. Repeatedly. Not something I’ve ever seen a girl do, by the way (although I have a great animal abuse story about my mother, but she was NPD, so not a normal woman). The dog then decided to bite the boy’s hand. There was no blood. No skin was broken. He wasn’t injured, physically. But. And this is what it always comes down to with males regardless of age. The dog committed a crime. It fought back. The boy immediately started crying and screaming bloody murder. A girl (who probably wouldn’t have been kicking the dog in the head to begin with) would have just cried and tried to get away from the dog. But the boy, like most boys and men, decide to retaliate against the dog, who, let’s face it, was just defending itself. He launched a vicious attack on the dog that sent it scurrying off. Disgusted enough, especially as it was nothing new in my 50 years of observing males, I decided that was the end of the entertainment.
This type of male behaviour applies in many situations, and most of you female readers can likely relate to the dog. Males antagonize us, emotionally, sexually, physically, psychologically, and if we don’t accept it like good little bitches, and especially if we fight back in kind, but in defence, they go at us harder. “How dare you fight back!” “I’m male, I can do what the fuck I want to you, and you have to take it.”
So, I’d prefer that you cry like a girl. Crying is normal and natural. It serves a number of purposes. If it weren’t normal, we wouldn’t have tear ducts… But abusing, then crying (with screaming and gratuitous noise), and then more vicious abuse – in other words, crying like a boy – forget it. We don’t need that shit. Ever. As I think about this scene, I consider that in liberal North America, the dog in this scenario might be put down for the crime of fighting back. I’d argue, though, that it’s the boy who needs to bite it. Way too dangerous, and he is only 7. It’s only going to get worse…
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A Glimmer of Sanity in a Trans-Psychotic World
Happy 2022, everyone! I haven’t written in a while, although not on purpose, but I figured I’d send out some good news. We need it, especially as we grimly face the start of year 3 of COVIDapalooza; the fall-out from Jewish eugenicist and sex-trafficker, Jeffrey Epstein’s life of rape and privilege; and the continuing slow slide into non-human status for Western women thanks to the political left.
In short, a group of private girls’ schools in the UK is refusing to accept trannie dude’s applications. They refuse to see biological males as females and state that accepting trannies means that they will no longer be same-sex schools. Logic! Reason! Facts! In the UK!?! How is this possible? How have they not been literally, nevermind politically and economically, killed by the trans cult yet? How has the government not shut them down yet, especially as this is a GIRLS’ school? The West is currently trampling girls’ rights in a way strangely parallel to how fundamentalist Muslims in Afghanistan (among many other countries) attack girls’ schools for allowing the girls to even attend. Women are losing their jobs in many Western countries just for correctly stating that biological sex is an unassailable fact – but these schools are left intact? Hey, I’m not criticizing them or trying to appear clever. I’m glad this is happening. I don’t even give a shit about the fact that they are private and cater to people with money – I’m not an asshole who intentionally overlooks the amazingness and potential influence of this situation in order to score points with the woke gender-critical set who can’t see the forest for the trees. The reality is that it is the people with power/money who need to step up when rights are being trampled. Who gives a shit that most people can’t afford to attend this school, myself included. It is very difficult for individuals (especially women) and beholden groups (aka government-funded entities) to accomplish much politically, especially if the targets of oppression are women and girls. So, I urge you to feel inspired by this group of schools – a small archipelago in a sea of sharks in tutus and tiaras yet with rock-hard rape-sticks. If these folks can hold their ground against one of the most dangerous and psychotic groups of people to come on the scene in a very long time, then there is hope for everyone else.
An interesting part of this is the sub-group of trannies being addressed here – the applicants, themselves, rather than their fucking nutso supporters. It’s not the scary adult autogynophilic rapist woman-hating sub-group. or the pathetic homophobic, woman-hating closeted and in-denial gay/lesbian sub-group, or the sad and terrified I-don’t-want-to-be-raped-or-harassed girls sub-group. We’re talking the ROGBs. And they are the most easily helped, especially if you don’t enable their bullshit. And likely, the group of schools in question is well aware of this modern psychological and social problem. ROGB or rapid-onset gender dysphoria, or what I like to cal Tik-Tok, Dick+Frock disorder is a standard teenaged mental health problem set in modern times. It’s considered controversial, but it’s actually rather straightforward and super easy to figure out, and thus, not controversial at all. Basically, teeny-boppers – people at their most gullible, inexperienced, naive, temperamental and hormonal – are spending too much unsupervised time on social media, and are being influenced by unsupervised, ‘cool’ idiots online. And guess what happens when you are a typical miserable teenager? You look for ways to fit in and feel better. So you end up doing really stupid shit in order to feel totally different, while ironically completely conforming. For most, this kind of bullshit works its way out of your system after your brain matures fully, your hormones calm down and you get the fuck away from your parents 😉 There is often more than a little embarrassment felt at the memory of what we thought and did during our teen years. But my point here is that the school has sensibly decided not to enable this kind of nonsense and to protect their girls at the same time. Let’s hope the government, urged/coerced by violent social activists, doesn’t rain hell upon this group of schools for their bravery and rationality. There is a possibility that the loophole they are relying upon that born male kids are not ‘legally’ female even if they claim they are female could be eliminated, thus forcing a change in admittance. But the school, and more importantly, the girls, seem safe, at this point. This article came out today (January 2) and insanity could still reign if trannie-boy-moms and the larger violent and unstable activist set gets their way.
Speculation aside, today’s news is the kind of Christmas present and New Year’s Tidings I can get excited about.
(btw, I’m including a pdf version available here – besides the link to the original above – of this article in case the Daily Mail is forced to take it down. I’ve learned that anything can happen… here is the link.)
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Why Search Terms Went the Way of the Dinosaur
For those of you who run blogs or web sites, have you noticed over the past decade that Google (and other search engines that facilitate the remaining 8% of searches that Google doesn’t perform…) is no longer giving web sites feedback on the search terms used to get to their sites?
I set up my first major web site in 1995 – a co-venture with one of my professors. It is still up, but no longer the award-winning powerhouse it was at the time. I just visited it about an hour ago, and noted that my former prof took my name off the site’s credits, even though I did ALL the research and ALL the coding and ALL the fixes. Didn’t I just write about men stealing from women in my last post…??? Anyhow, in those early days of web development, I realized that search terms were really helpful. The concept of SEO was just a few years away and hadn’t become big business yet. But knowing how people got to your site could help you write content of interest to people, which would in turn, bring more traffic. As we were operating as a resource, we weren’t trying to make money, but to help people find information. I’ve run other web sites since then, and search terms became increasingly important.
But recently, this treasure trove of information has dried up. Since 2011, Google decided they didn’t want to provide that kind of information anymore – although they said that it would barely affect site owners. Not so. In 2013, they expanded their search encryption policies, and basically, the iron curtain came down. Now, if you listen to what the men (let’s face it, these are male decisions) running the search engines say, they cite that they are concerned about privacy. But whose privacy? Unless, you are connecting a search term to an individual’s computer, what’s the big deal? Why shouldn’t we have access to the words that bring netizens to our sites?
Well, if you actually looked at search terms when they were readily available, and you consider what drives much of the internet traffic and downloads, a hell of a lot of it is porn and other misogynistic – some of it disturbingly violent – content. And this is a big deal for women like myself, who run feminist content. What is bringing people to our sites? And we come back to circling the question of whose privacy is being protected by blocking access to search terms.
There was a really great, data-oriented site that was stopped in 2013, likely coinciding with Google’s male protection racket ramp up, that I still link to in my side bar – What Men Want to See Online – which collected search terms from women running feminist web sites. It was telling, even shocking, disturbing, saddening, and it supports the idea that search engines are most concerned about protecting male privacy. Men worried about being targeted/located and accused of what they euphemistically call ‘thought crimes’ have likely fuelled this enactment of online privacy. (It’s amazing how many men I run into who are obsessed with ‘thought crimes’ – why is that…?) It is very important that men can search for, access, and masturbate over and over to rape videos, woman-torture, child porn, sexist racism, and the like. The privacy – and safety! – of women and children is just silly to think about. This protection ensures that men can easily keep the rape, torture and other woman hate going both on and offline. If you hide a problem, then it keeps going, keeps building. And we well know that ‘thought crimes’ cannot be compartmentalized – even though men tell us that their fantasies about cutting women up is just that – fantasy – and has nothing to do with their real feelings towards half the population… yeah, right. Do you really thing that men sit at their computer jizzing over a woman being tortured and raped and then go to work and treat their female co-workers fairly? Get real. I am not actually sure which is more disturbing – that men can get off on rape, and then go back to business as usual (which is not fair treatment, by the way), which I would also call psychopathy. Or that men get off on rape and then bring it into the meat world, which is also psychopathy. Hiding it or letting it hang out. Which is worse? And they can’t really hide misogyny; not really. Men aren’t that smart or skilled, and like I’ve said before, they are terrible liars. They don’t have to be – every disgusting thing they do is protected.
Now, Story Ending Never wasn’t operating when WMWTSO was collecting data, so I couldn’t contribute my wealth of filth kindly provided by males from all over the world. When I ran into the site after the fact, I went a-digging into my own data, and I was surprised that so many men were looking for rape and somehow found themselves on my blog. The search terms available have drastically dropped off in the years since I started writing in 2015 – I almost never get specific terms anymore – but my 6+ years of data fall into a few major categories.
There is a shitload of racist (against white women) rape and porn search terms. If you are one of those willingly ignorant assholes who thinks white women aren’t major targets of serious, violent, racist, sexist, rape-hate, you can find the nearest cliff and lean over. No, just a little more. Go on, now. Racist sexism against white women is the most accepted and promoted racist-sexism (even among rapey white males who are happy for women to pay for male crimes, and shockingly, some self-hating, badly abused white females) in current times.
The racist bullshit co-mingles sex, fucking, raping, porn, erotica and romance. The focus is mostly Arabs raping white women, a few black rapists thrown in, but you get the picture (see my keyword list attached below). If you need more proof that men put everything from love to rape to revenge fucks to sexy fun to porn into the same bloody category, just look at search terms – oh wait, you can’t anymore. We are protecting men’s searches now. Anyhow, why do you think I started the Love = Hate series? They are the same thing for men. But you can look at my list because Google can’t erase what has already been recorded.
There is a second major category highlighting men’s obsession with being castrated. I swear men want this. They drool over it. They dream of it. And part of me thinks we should help them out… but I don’t get this obsession at all. I mean, I know men constantly think of hurting women in horrible ways, and I think they assume women do the same thing – dreaming of hurting men and maybe dreaming of being hurt. However, the average woman decidedly does not. She neither dreams of being a slave nor of acting like a typical male. But men need to think this is true to create insane justifications for what they do to us. Otherwise, how can you feel like you are righteous if your target is innocent…? This is how religion (another product of male thinking) has always operated – justifying horrific treatment of people by creating false reports of evil in their ‘enemies’.
The third smaller category of filth that men use to arrive at my site is prostitute humiliation. The first category of search terms, I get – I am white and female, so I will automatically be the target of racist, sexist hate. I don’t know why the castration fetishists come to me or why the prostitute haters come to me. I don’t really write about either – maybe an occasional mention, but nothing worthy of the scores of scrotes who find me through these depraved search terms.
Anyhow, those are my two cents on the internet today. I’m busy procrastinating on something I need to get done, so I’d better get back to it. If you’re interested in the list of search terms, I am including them here for download instead of including a really long list of filth within this post.
Search Terms Used to Find Story Ending Never
[Part of the Conversations with Men series.]
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Men Dream, Women Labour, Men Take Credit
A man with dreams needs a woman with vision…
Alternate verion: A man with dreams needs a woman who believes…
various scrotals take credit as their sex is wont to do, but original source unknown
Better and truer version: A man with dreams needs women’s unquestioning faith, undying and undeserved devotion, and endless free or underpaid labour to bring the dream to life… but it’s probably just better to put him down in the permanent sense, so that women can be free to pursue their own damned dreams.
Story Ending
Woman, I could get used to this quote reinvention thing! I might go down in history – kind of like Weird Al Yankovic with his song parodies! No matter. I’ll put this in the Conversations with Men series, although I’m writing of a general, repetitive, lifelong conversation that all women have with all men. I’ll give a few examples from my own life, but honestly, I see this form of male dominance in everything I experience. Women are just so used to it (and by my definition, exhausted by it) that they don’t realize all the time they end up devoting to men’s brilliant ideas and/or cleaning up after numerous failed experiments.
So the other day, after escaping from my most recent foray into exploitative work – wait, let’s call it what it actually was: work-based imprisonment of a foreign person through legal means – I started researching the country where I’ll be spending at least the next couple of months. Okay, let’s be honest here again, I was researching food because I like food, especially local specialties. And I noticed something. Most of these dishes and snacks and local basics that are must-eats when in this particular area have a man’s name attached to them. Men made famous by the creation of some spectacular edible. In the few cases where a woman was considered responsible for the dish’s creation, we have no idea who she was – some faceless, nameless wife. The story behind the dish often has the quality of a general myth: a woman wanted to please her new husband, sorta bullshit.
Anyhow, I started thinking about this, and it didn’t make sense to me. Given that throughout history, and continuing today, women have been the ones in the kitchens, the ones improvising dishes during hard times, the ones creating deliciousness out of 3 ingredients because hubbie has spent all the family’s money at the local watering or gambling hole or whorehouse – why is it that men are the only ones supposedly creating the famous, local, traditional foods? This doesn’t ring true for me. What I think has happened is that some opportunistic male who couldn’t get anything in his own life going, took his mother’s or his sister’s or his wife’s amazing creation and attached his name to it. Woman be damned. We’ve seen this happen countless times throughout history in the art world, in the scientific world – in every world and in every culture. Men steal. They steal from women. They steal their ideas, their labour, their inventions and discoveries, and they take credit in the form of recognition, money, future opportunities, and more. This is HIS story. She is erased. He lives forever. So I know the traditional foods I end up eating no matter where I go in the world have originally come from women, anonymous women.
I thought about the process of stealing. I thought about all the Great Men in the world, and the lesser men who have dreams. I thought about my own experiences with these ‘idea men’ thoughout my life. There have been so many. When I was younger and more naive and energetic, I fell prey to many of these guys. Sometimes, they have good ideas. But here’s the thing. Most of these men are not that bright, and are the laziest fuckers you’ll ever meet. They have grown up having their mothers do everything for them, and coupled with their inborn aggression and need to take, mom has nurtured and reinforced a sense of entitlement and deserving. By the time he reaches adulthood, the great man is well used to girls and women working for him to make his path easy, to make his dreams come true, to provide an endless well of ideas from which to take, and to give him some kind of legacy that they and he believes he deserves as a male.
You have, no doubt, encountered at least one of these guys in your life. It could be dad, but it could also be a teacher or mentor, a friend, a boyfriend/husband. You’ve been well-trained from birth to see males as insightful and brilliant, and you fall for male aggression or charisma really easily. Once charmed, you’ll do anything for them. They are soooo smart and creative and supportive of your desperate need to be a part of their crusade! Of course you want to sign on and help him realize his brilliant idea to change the world! See my post on friendship – specifically the section on Types of Friendship – to get some insight into how women get sucked into parasitical situations like this – hint: males see friendships with women differently than women see friendships with men…
I’ll give a few of my own examples. Note that I don’t fall for male bullshit anymore. I don’t give free labour to men anymore. Not that I’ve tried this yet, but I’d now go so far as to suggest that women steal men’s ideas and make them happen without sharing credit. Time to turn the tables, don’t you think? That’s for you to decide, of course. But I’m tired of promoting playing nice with our oppressors. We still aren’t free, but dammit, we’re ethical and sweet!
There is a male I’ve written about before. He is a standard lazy, useless, wannabe Great Man. He has spent decades generating ideas and then rallying gaggles of energetic and enthusiastic women to do his bidding. I was, at one point, one of them, until I saw the writing on the wall: I wasn’t getting anything but longer-lasting poverty from his project. And he got all the credit for the work I did. Not all of this guy’s ideas were bad, and he is actually aware he is a lazy user, and that it is women he almost exclusively exploits. But he talks about it laughingly, as all males do when they acknowledge bad parts of themselves (hahaha, I’m a womanizer; lol, I have a weakness for raping prostitutes for money; teeheehee, I just can’t help ogling women while you’re in the middle of telling me about your childhood incest). I eventually escaped this guy and moved on with other stuff. But I lost months of my life.
The most recent example of male dreams shaping the women they use and abuse came out of the recent job I accepted and just escaped from (alluded to above). Now, I was only able to escape because I’ve wised up to male tactics, because I don’t fully trust how Muslim males treat women (especially white women), and because I was put in a very dangerous legal situation that potentially could have seen me arrested, heavily fined and/or deported (yes, stupid liberal Americans, this shit happens to white people, too). Now, I’m not big on rules, as a rule, but I don’t actively fuck with governments. The school for whom I was working had told me weeks ago that they had finished the paperwork for my work visa, but had refused to take my passport – and you need the visa put INTO the passport to show legal status – even after I asked several times, and as the expiry date of my tourist visa approached, I wasn’t given any information about the status of my visa or the need for me to do a ‘visa run’ to a neighbouring country in order to remain legal. The only conclusion that could be reached was that a) they intended to put me into illegal status and thus control my movements since I couldn’t do anything without ID and proof of legal standing or b) they were holding my paperwork hostage, which was in fact finished, in order to control my movements. Without legal standing, one can’t leave the country, travel within the country on public transport, or even stay at a hotel within the country while on a school break. They were trying to hold me prisoner, in other words. This on top of the fact that I was forced to work 7 days a week, was faced with racism and xenophobia every day, and was dealing with growing anger and resentment from some of the women working at the school as I don’t act like a Muslim woman or even one of the non-Muslim hetero breeders or breeders-to-be. Needless to say, I was fucking depressed, constantly ill, and paranoid about being illegal.
But let’s get to the male dream – female slavery part of things. So the head of the school told me about his ‘dreams’ on a few occasions. He was thrilled to hire me as I am highly educated and experienced, and so, squarely on my shoulders, he placed his ridiculous and frankly impossible dreams about the future of the school. Honestly, I had better ideas for the school, but I wasn’t hired for my ideas – just my apparently endless female capacity for labour. So deluded and power-hungry as he was, he couldn’t believe it one day when he asked me if I had been out of the city to enjoy some of the beautiful scenery of the area, and I told him that it wasn’t possible as I was working 7 days a week, including nights. He looked at me suspiciously – I’m legally barred from working more than one job – and he asked where I was working. I looked at him incredulously and told him I worked 7 days a week at the school – days, nights, Saturdays, and full Sundays grading and preparing the hours and hours of lessons I had to teach. He ended the conversation right after that as reality is never part of a Great Man’s dream. He is responsible for ideas, and he doesn’t think about who has to suffer (women) in order to make these dreams come true. He had even admitted to me on a few other occasions that he was likely to move to a different school in the system in the near future, but he expected me to stay for at least 5 years to make his great dream for the program come true, and he definitely wanted to get credit for that!
Fuck that. I’m too old and open-eyed to fall for male abuse anymore. I almost wish I could go back in time and take back all the months and years of my life I devoted to furthering men’s careers and fattening their pocketbooks at the expense of my own career and bank account. All I can do now is to prevent it from happening to me again, and to put my story and warnings out there for younger women (or older women who haven’t figured out why they feel depleted and used and impoverished), so that they can avoid all the pain and focus on holding their own ideas sacred, and focusing on making their own dreams come true.
A woman’s dream should never be to let a man step on her in order to reach the top.
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L is for Lies
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Women lie about their age; men lie about
their incomeeverything else.William FeatherStory Ending
I know, I cited myself, and that is tacky as hell. But I’ll give the cop-out that it isn’t a full-on self-quote, but rather, an improvement on something dumb that some dumb man said. Even so, the improvement isn’t quite accurate either. I actually believe that women lie quite a bit more and are more accomplished liars than men do and are. Does that sound sexist? Don’t worry, I’ll get into it. What I’ve said is more a comment on who holds the power in this world and the role that psychological survival mechanisms play in the power game rather than any kind of attempt to tar and feather women.
As you may have deduced, today’s sweet little topic – the next in the Alphabet Series – is L is for Lies.
I considered other L-possibilities, of course. I felt rather hellbent on L is for Liberated! (complete with an exclamation point) for a while, and it is a topic that is worthy of discussion if you’re interested in how the women’s liberation movement gradually devolved into the mess that is male-centred, (L is for) liberal feminism, today. L is also for lesbians, which I’ve talked about here and there already, labels, love (see my Love = Hate Series), and language (and who controls it). But for some reason, lies rang true for me when I really thought about it. I’m not sure whether it was Annie Lennox’s “Would I Lie to You” popping up randomly on my playlist or accidently running into sexist, racist, nails-on-chalkboard-voiced Chris Rock’s comment on lying and sex differences. But I knew I’d met my topic du jour.
So let’s dig down into societal prevarication and get down to the reality that is life.
I’ve often felt that the world men have created is like a house of cards. It is fragile, susceptible to attack, like a card house, which necessitates a shitload of ammunition in the form of literal violence and anti-woman language, and an even bigger shitload of lies as protection or mortar to prop the whole damned thing up. [See my post on Censorship (truth-blocking and lies of omission, essentially) to get a sense of how dictatorships stay in place.] Question the lies and the physical and linguistic violence kicks in.
The system of lies is so well constructed that women are often the most active in keeping it going, believing it (or pretending to) and policing the behaviour of other women and girls, especially their daughters. They have the most to gain from demolishing societal lies, and thus the barriers are high in fighting against them. It is easier to believe, follow and perpetuate. And it is for this reason that I say that women are the most adept liars and lie most frequently. It is not that they are natural liars, it’s that lying is a survival mechanism that men don’t need. Men lie, and all women are aware of it, but because men hold all the power, they can lie unconvincingly and get away with it as there really aren’t any consequences. Telling the truth or failing to accept lies can have dire consequences for women and girls.
Now interestingly, research confirms this: women lie more than men. But they don’t really tell us why this might be, and that’s where I come in. What they also tell us is that men are twice as likely as women to believe that they are good liars (typical male overconfidence that you see with every ability they self-assess on). They are also much more likely to tell self-serving lies (to get laid, sympathy, money, etc). Women are supposed to be more likely to lie on behalf of others. But I would bet you a million golden feminist turds that women are more likely to lie for MALES (especially sons, male family members and male friends) than for females, and in this way, the lies are self-serving. Serving the master gets them handmaiden benefits or simply allows them a better chance at survival. In the same way, I would bet my riches that women are more likely to believe a male’s lies than a woman’s, and both males and females are more likely to believe a male’s lies than a woman’s truths.
Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance a special type of lying, common in all humans, but necessary for women who choose not to question patriarchy. It is basically the situation where a person is faced with evidence that they hold contradictory beliefs or they behave in a way that conflicts with their beliefs. The cognitive dissonance is the discomfort, guilt or shame one feels upon realizing there is conflict or a contradiction. Dealing with the discomfort can lead to all sorts of fun behaviour, including rationalizing or covering up the discrepancy – essentially lying to oneself and others. The thing is that many women don’t realize they have conflicting beliefs and behaviours. This is especially true of most women who call themselves ‘feminists’. The vast majority of ‘feminists’ say they support women, but then centre males in their feminism. Liberal feminists have managed (in their minds) to get around potential discomfort, say, by pretending that tranny-dudes are women, when in fact, they know that it is NOT possible to change sex (note that they know damn well that we can’t change race, but magically sex is mutable???), and especially by attacking women who speak the truth. Focusing blame on truth-tellers removes the discomfort of their own conflicting beliefs and behaviours.
But seriously, the vast majority of women live with their heads in the sand and make willing and practised ignorance an essential part of their existence so as not to experience cognitive dissonance. I’d bet more of my valuable feminist turds that the women who are the most antagonistic towards other women are the ones who do actually experience finger-wagging dissonance. The antagonism is a defense mechanism and a way to relieve themselves of the discomfort of realized inethicality. Keep that in mind when some patriarchal henchwoman attacks you for speaking truth about men.
Let’s take a look at my take on the top 10 lies that women believe (or pretend to believe). Note that unless willingly ignorant, women who believe these lies will experience cognitive dissonance and will react accordingly in some woman-hating way.
10. Sacrifice is a virtue. But strangely, only for females, and women who adopt this thinking spend a lot of time pressuring and criticizing other females for not sacrificing their humanity, time, identities, careers and sanity for males and children. It is a mark of a truly miserable person to pick at others’ behaviour, while cherry-picking the elements of their own lives to highlight. These folks are often massive hypocrites, and when aware of it, they end up shifting focus onto other women’s ‘selfishness’.
9. It is better to be with a man than to be alone. This is the pathetic dirge of the so-called femcel, the anti-lesbian (and anti-woman), the weak, and/or the traditional. Now that I’m back in a traditional country, I’m hearing a lot of educated late-20-somethings wax on about needing to get married. I always ask ‘why’, as that is my favourite question in the world, and passionlessly, they monotone about not wanting to be alone or musing that they should have some kids. And of course, we need to attach ourselves to a penis if we want a brat. A pile of lies here. At least none of these traditional women goes on about ‘love’ and the lie that men can love women in a way that is different from loving a tool or a sport. The lie of male love is predominant in non-traditional cultures.
8. God/Goddess exists and has a plan for us. One of the (many) major criticisms that men have of women is that they are more likely to believe in a religion than men are. It is seen as a weakness of mind rather than a symptom of colonization or slavery, which is what any system based on lies depends on. There are many things that explain how religion takes hold in the mind of a person and why that person might not overcome their early brainwashing in catechism. Level of intelligence, amount of education, and training in science are only a few of the explanations. Poverty, desperate circumstances, poor health, and the threat of community/family ex-communication are also major factors. Given that women are more threatened and susceptible to violence and poverty in this world, and that they are still the only colonized people who haven’t fought back against their oppression in a major and organized way, it makes sense that systems of lies and illogic become ways to rationalize their oppression. Religion provides a framework for women to make sense of why they are put into the shitty positions they find themselves in, as well as constant reminders of the punishments they will suffer for breaking the rules of their ‘justified’ oppression. Males just aren’t oppressed like women are, so they don’t need to take comfort in irrationality. Men tend to take religion seriously when it gives them moral carte blanche to go to war or to hurt women (another kind of satisfying war).
7. Women are biologically wired to seek out and enjoy subservience, abuse and other sexy mistreatment. This lie is becoming more and more common in Western cultures (and perhaps Japan and other First World countries), and I see it as another attempt at backlash from men against women seeking to free themselves. Previously underground and alternative lifestyles that were seen as deviancy or perversions are becoming ‘cool’ and mainstream. I’ve spent time online in research mode in BDSM communities, and I’ve had the most bizarre conversations with men trying to convince me that not only is female slavery fun and sexy and natural, but that it is actually the slave that has all the power rather than the Dom. At first, I thought these guys were putting me on. I mean, it sounded so scripted and unbelievable, like the dialogue in a typical porn film. I’d laugh my ass off at these incredibly obvious lies, but over time, I came to realize that it was much more sinister, and so many women were falling for it, strangely and pathetically. And it reinforced to me that men are really terrible liars, and they don’t have to be good because only the weak and powerless have to be skilled, so as not to get killed.
6. There is a ‘good one’ out there… somewhere. This lie is hilarious, and I think women tell themselves this in order to hold out hope that the Prince Charming of childhood fairytales exists. It is such a commonly held belief, and it is probably gaining strength thanks to the Cult of Positivity and adherents of “The Secret” and other deluded types who think that the universe will deliver your deepest wishes and make your lies come true if you just put it out there. Note that one women reach adulthood, the bar for ‘a good one’ is set very, very low, and it gets lower as she gets older and more desperate. It has to be. I mean, can you imagine men having to meet the standards that women and girls have to live up to in order just to be ‘average’? I’ve never met a woman who claims she has one of the ‘good ones’ describe him in a way that convinces me that he is anything special. Half the time, women are lying about the feats of amazingness of said male, and are withholding details about the shit he does the other 99% of the time. Not only is it a lie that there is a good one out there, but women have to continue lying to themselves once they have procured the amazing specimen in order to avoid dealing with their cognitive dissonance-related discomfort.
5. Motherhood is a job. I’m going to try to restrain myself as I have a separate post devoted to mothers. I just want to say here that motherhood is not a job, but a RELATIONSHIP that is chosen. Motherhood is rewarded by society and women are already compensated by male partners, despite women claiming that they are not. If you are smart enough to have the kid with a male master who actually has money and resources, you will be compensated well for your services. At the very least, you get a free place to live, food on the table, a clothing allowance, and entertainment funds. For the wealthier, you won’t even have to do anything except fuck in return for your payment because less fortunate women will be rented to take care of your offspring. If you don’t understand the game, then you have probably married a poor dude or a complete loser in some other way, and you really shouldn’t be complaining to the world about how your poor choices or your ignorance about how heterosexuality works are somehow society’s fault or responsibility. Let’s just say that complaining that you should be paid by society for choosing to bring a completely helpless and dependent creature into the world is ridiculous. Unlike with a real job, in the filial relationship that is motherhood, you can be stupid, unlettered, incompetent, lazy, and reference-free, and you can’t be fired even after you inevitably abuse your daughter and release another rapey boy into the world. Women who work actual jobs live under the constant threat of being fired, even when they are at the top of their field and especially when they are threatening to male egos in the workplace.
4. Killing a pedophile, rapist or woman-killer doesn’t solve anything and is morally wrong. You just sink to their level. First, eliminating a rapist or femicidal man can in no way be equated to raping or killing women because of male privilege. To sink to that level, you’d have to have some kind of power over a group – for women, that would be children or animals, perhaps – and then to sexually assault them (women cannot physically rape – rape is solely a male crime) and/or to kill them for no reason except that they are children or animals. And women generally don’t do that kind of shit. Rather, killing predators of females – which all species of creatures EXCEPT HUMAN FEMALES are allowed to do and actually do – solves a few important things, including removing a dangerous monster from the streets and preventing more innocent females from being destroyed by said monster. I think these two reasons alone more than justify execution. You don’t, however, solve the problem of general, biologically wired, malicious male violence. To fix that, you have to remove the entire male sex to allow women and girls the peace and safety they deserve. The morality argument? Yeah, I love this. It’s better for an innocent female to be raped or killed than it is for a male monster to be eliminated. While males came up with this illogic, many women wholeheartedly support the idea that a male monster has more value than a female victim. More females than males take to the streets to keep a rapist alive and certainly more people rally to support a rapist than a rape victim. Again, the mark of the colonized and enslaved in service to those who control them.
3. Males can be educated out of raping. This is what ‘logically’ follows #4. You can’t kill the fuckers because it is morally wrong, so we just need to teach them not to hurt us. If we just educate men enough, they’ll see the error in their ways. But wait, haven’t we been doing this already and we know it doesn’t work? Well, I guess despite thousands of years of males raping and killing females and women begging males not to do it, women just haven’t found the right way to get the message across. So either we haven’t found the exact right way to access the tiny learning centre in the male brain, or…. MALES ARE BIOLOGICALLY WIRED TO RAPE AND DESTROY WOMEN. It’s not the G.D. porn! Rape has been going on forever and internet porn? – a blip on the human timeline. I mean get real. Some problems in the logic department for that one.
2. Women lie about rape. A lie about lying. Fun times. Statistics actually tell us that for all crime, including rape, the rate of false reporting is about the same – quite low (I think it is around 2%, if I remember correctly.) I’d actually bet you more of my sweet ass golden feminist turds that the rate for falsely reporting rape is lower than that for other crimes as there is no stigma or victim persecution for crimes that men experience too. Truthfully reporting rape hurts you further, and this phenomenon occurs because rape is the only crime that happens ONLY TO WOMEN AND GIRLS. The victim of a murder is not blamed for being murdered. The victim of a carjacking is not blamed for being carjacked. The victim of a pickpocketing is not blamed for being victimized. All women and girls are blamed for being raped. They are also disbelieved. So, why would you falsely report knowing that you will be persecuted and disbelieved, and knowing that in past cases when women have reported real rapes, their rapists have seldom seen courtrooms and are rarely convicted. Let’s put it this way: a woman is much more likely to deny being raped or to frame the assaults as consensual than to make up a fictitious story about being raped. If you are wondering how you can help women and girls in this world, start with this one thing: always believe them when they speak out about being raped.
1 Heterosexuality and feminism are compatible. Yeah, I said it. The biggest and most accepted lie on the planet. If you’re fucking dudes, your so-called feminism is compromised. No other oppressed group on the planet actively seeks out intimate emotional, financial and biological ties with their oppressor. Heterosexuality is the only oppression on the planet that keeps males in power, and if women said ‘no’ en masse, male dominance would crumble, althought I suspect they wouldn’t go down without a fight that would likely destroy the planet altogether. So to avoid this harsh reality, women embrace a complex web of lies about their needs and wants and purpose, with the cherry on top being that all of this subservience is the source of woman-power.
Attempts to shine a light on female oppression usually don’t name the problem in its entirety, and end up subverted anyway. For example, in all countries that bother to pretend to care about women’s history month, it is usually either a month of silence or more concerned with racism or trannyism than misogyny. And it very seldom addresses uncomfortable truths or addresses the slavery aspects of women’s history or the slavery of women is taught to us as a romantic or patriotic or ‘natural’ thing. This is not how other groups are taught about their oppression, and it is because women are still colonized, still enslaved, still groomed from birth to serve and submit, and as a result, they still say yes to, make sacrifices for, and compromise with the oppressor – men. Imagine, if you will, that black Americans had said that they would continue to work the fields for white males, as long as they could have better accommodation and, I don’t know, sick days. Do you think they would have achieved as much as they have by continuing to accept most of the trappings of slavery, but making minor superficial demands? Of course not. Yet women think they can get somewhere significant or different while continuing to serve the very people who have oppressed them and continuing to participate in the very system that has always enslaved them (marriage, hetero child ownership models, etc). Arguing for minor concessions or for more slavery dressed up as liberation also doesn’t achieve anything. I think it’s like slamming your hand in a door repeatedly and then complaining that you keep breaking your fingers. Why would you expect different results? Remove your hand from the door jamb. Basic logic.
Conclusion
In short, lies are what make the world go round. They are what keep men in power and women continuing to suffer and then complaining about it in willing ignorance. Face the truth. It might be painful at first, but there will be so much less tragedy and agony in the long run.
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Fell in Love With a Girl
Fell in love with a girl
I fell in love once and almost completely
She’s in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
She turns and says, “Are you alright?”
I said, “I must be fine ’cause my heart’s still beating”The White Stripes
Once every couple of years, I fall in love with a girl, or I suppose woman is the better word. And perhaps love is not the best word to use because I don’t think I believe in love, much in the way that I don’t believe in happiness. I don’t believe in constant states. I believe in outliers and their undue influence – we tend to remember extremes and they colour our memories of the past and general impressions of the current state of things. More specifically, a few spectacularly great experiences are likely to make us overestimate how great life is, and conversely, a series of equally spectacularly horrible experiences is likely to darken our perception of our state of affairs. So, I’ve found it better to appreciate moments, positive or negative, for what they are, and in this way, I don’t have to pretend that things that don’t truly exist are real. (Guess why I could never be religious, even at an early age…?)
I’m meandering down some path I didn’t intend to, so let’s trot back to the trailhead. So yeah, every so often, I meet a woman that I ‘fall in love with’ briefly. I think I used to fall hard when I was younger, but as Jack White said above, “Sometimes these feelings can be so misleading.” And I learned. See, it’s never an available person that I fall for – and no, I don’t intentionally create these situations so that I have an excuse not to ‘commit’ to someone. It’s just that the women I tend to be attracted to seldom meet the crucial criteria for relationship-making.
First, they are almost always ‘straight’. Yeah, I put that in quotes. I don’t believe in heterosexuality for women. I remember watching Todo Sobre Mi Madre back in 1999, and one of the characters (I think one of the drag queens, actually, which sullies the sentiment and turns it into a bit of a joke, but whatever…) comments something to that extent – that all women have a bit of lesbian in them. And I would have completed the thought by saying that almost all women have the lesbian stamped and shamed out of them early in life. All this is to say that I’m attracted to women whose inborn lesbian shines like a beacon, despite the hetero life they are living and whatever their expressed feelings about lesbians are.
Another issue is age. I keep forgetting how old I am. I don’t live a life typical of a woman my age, my heart is young despite any wisdom gained from experience, and I seldom get to meet or spend time with my age group because of my lifestyle and mindset. So I either tend to meet women who are a lot older or a lot younger, and while I am fine with cross-generational friendship, I don’t think romantic relationships between people with large age gaps are appropriate. I don’t like power imbalances, and age can be a major source of imbalance and resulting creepiness. Not quite as bad between women as it is between men and women, I think, but still… I have principles and comfort levels that are derived from those principles.
The other major issue is values/beliefs. Even if I were to meet an age-appropriate lesbian, it would be hard to meet someone who puts women first, who is a female separatist, who isn’t in the mother-worship cult, who isn’t anti-white, and who sees the trans bullshit for what it is – an anti-woman, anti-lesbian, conservative, rape-apologist, male-energy-driven shit-show.
And finally, I’m looking for a companion, not someone who espouses straight thinking on what relationships should be (sex-driven: no sex = no relationship). That doesn’t mean an aphysical relationship – physical affection is great from my point of view. I think not wanting to touch or be touched is a sign of some very serious trauma. But I’m not looking for a fuck-buddy. I think I’ve had enough of that in my life, and it didn’t provide or solve much for me. Bottom line is it’s hard to imagine meeting a woman like myself ideologically who also wants a companion.
All of this is to say that I’ve fallen in love again, and it is another go-nowhere situation, sadly. I’ve found myself in a difficult (workwise), but otherwise socially interesting situation. I’m working in a girls’ school (one of the reasons I jumped at the job offer – I really hate teaching boys…), and almost all of the teaching staff and most of the administration are female. And it is culturally quite different from my native homeland and China, where lived for so long. In North America, females are physically rather cold to one another. It varies greatly, but generally, as a culture, there is a huge anti-lesbian sentiment, and that drives the stigma against excessive physical contact between women. China is much worse in some ways. While girls and women can hold hands if they are family or close friends, it is not a physically affectionate culture, generally speaking. They don’t hug, and they certainly don’t kiss in an affectionate way like many other cultures. I actually like physical affection. I’m touchy, although I’ve learned to be hyper-aware of modern Western hypersensitivity, so I’ve probably become more reserved over the years.
Where I currently live and work (it’s the same thing, currently…), physical affection abounds. It is refreshing – I feel like I’ve had to bottle myself up for so many years, in the uptight places I’ve found myself. But it is very multicultural here, AND it is also extremely sex-segregated. The few males that work at my school have separate rooms for working and eating, which is Awesome with a capital A, and likely due to Muslim values in this area. It’s funny to think that I agree with this very traditional way of thinking, and we might actually agree with the reasoning for the segregation on some levels, but at the same time, I would probably be fired if they found out I wasn’t straight and that I think that women are superior to men in all ways, and that all males should be microchipped at birth… Now, I can’t speak for how things work with the men at my workplace, but among the women, I’d say that the female affection mostly comes from the local people and what appears to be strong Turkish influence. I don’t get the impression that the locals of Russian heritage are driving it – they seem to be cold in the way that North Americans generally are, but I’ll admit that I know little about Russian culture, in general. It just seems cold to me and reminiscent of home.
Of all the people with whom I work – and as I said, we are rather multicultural – the Turkish women are my favourites. They are exuberant, kind, welcoming and confident. And as you may have guessed, I’ve fallen for one of them. She is closer to my age, and while not what I’d call beautiful in a traditional way, walks with a confidence and energy that is just sexy and I just want to be around it and her. And we click. She has a sense of humour, and I think she likes the weirdo in me (the comfortably conservative of the women at my workplace, on the other hand, are comfortably uncomfortable with my energy – nothing unexpected or new there). I really wish I could spend time with this lovely woman, but she is married with children. Just my luck. I’ll just have to appreciate the moment while it lasts and for what it is.
Perhaps my next job should be in Turkey…
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K is for (Mr.) Kaplan
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Greetings one and all. Did I not promise a post sometime in the month following the last one? Well, I’m delivering. Kaboom! To be honest, I am writing this to take a break from the massive amount of work that I’m currently immersed in. Writing is relaxing to me. Teaching is not. So, I’ll do a little segue here before launching into my main topic.
After years of teaching university in the poorly paid, Chinese public education system, and after a pandemic-inspired, lengthy, unemployed period that was awesome for my physical health, but not great for the soul or pocketbook, I managed to land a job in a high school back on the Asian continent. Now, I haven’t taught high school in over a decade and there is definitely a reason for that… But the world has been closed, jobs have been nearly impossible to get, and Canada is one hell of an expensive place to live when you are a deliberately single female – and especially one without children and the myriad financial benefits that go with that. So, after hundreds of applications and then being dicked around by a few potential employers and then again by several abusive online companies looking to pay experienced, educated teachers $5.00 an hour, I felt lucky to land a job at all. I felt lucky even though anything below university level is usually a nightmare simply because outside the Western world, teachers actually have to work harder than the average worker, and certainly harder than any Western teacher. I’m talking 6 teaching days a week, including evenings and Saturdays, and then all the prep and homework/test grading that always ends up leaking over into most of your Sunday.
But here I am. It’s not all bad. I think the hardest part is being a seriously introverted (although feigning extroversion) person forced to be ‘on’ and interacting with people for hours and hours and hours at a time. A true introvert may actually like people, but their energy comes from non-social sources and they can be seriously depleted and weakened with prolonged interaction. Introverts forced to deal with extroverts may come away feeling ‘vampired’. Energy-sucked. (I made the mistake of spending 8 hours with a major extrovert who was a straight breeder, male apologist, and BLM-supporter on top of that, this past spring. I had to spend much of the next day in bed recovering, I felt so horrible.) So let’s just say, that after a week-and-a-half of classes and being forced to spend my non-classroom hours in a teachers’ room used by 60 teachers, but that only seats 25, I’m feeling like absolute shit, energy-wise. But it’s a job, right…?
Back to the topic at hand, though. The next post in the Alphabet Series. Interestingly, and not planned in any way, I could have used my newly adopted region as my K-word, but I don’t know enough about the place yet to write anything truly interesting. Maybe in the future if I ever get time out of what feels like a new cage…
But for today, K is for (Mr.) Kaplan.
I considered a few uninspiring options before settling on the great topic of Mr. Kaplan. Who could forget ‘Karen’ – a racist, sexist, ageist slur and silencing term used against middle-aged white women who dare speak out about anything, including their own rapes. I’ll refer you to RadFemSpiraling who does this topic justice in a way that I haven’t and who, in my opinion, is the de facto leader of the unofficial celebratory Karen Klub. Rock on. K is also obviously for kill, something men like to do to women often after raping them or just because they are throwing a mantrum and can’t handle their own blatant obsolescence. K is for kink, now mainstream rather than an ‘alternative lifestyle’, and used as a weapon to shame women into consenting to sexual abuse, torture, and rape by men so as not to appear boring, prudish or a goddamn lesbian of the non-man-fucking variety (!) K is for kindness, one of the new obnoxious, finger-wagging words used by the Cult of Positivity to shame women into accepting abuse by men and their bitches and into keeping their mouths shut to prevent their ‘toxic negativity’ (aka truth-telling) from spoiling the illusion that everything is hunky dory in the world. K is also for knowledge – the barring of the accumulation of which is a cornerstone of slavery – prevent education and slaves don’t realize they’re slaves. Finally, k is for kitchen, as in “get back in the”.
But let’s get to Mr. Kaplan.
Many of you may be wondering who the hell this is, and may have noted that this is one of the rare times that I’ve written about a person using their name. Mr. Kaplan is, despite the honorific, a woman, and she’s entirely fictional. She, in and of herself, isn’t that important, and it doesn’t really matter whether you know who she is or where she comes from. It is what she represents that is important here. She’s a supporting character on a way-too-long-running American television show.
She’s fictional. She’s in her 60’s. She is neither especially masculine nor feminine, and is what society would call ‘plain’. And she is a lesbian. One of the few on television, and certainly one of the very, very few who is over the age of acceptable fuckability. In fact, there are so few older lesbians portrayed on television that there isn’t even a stereotype for what they should look like.
Mr. Kaplan, aka Kathryn ‘Kate’ Nemec, played by the spectacular Susan Blommaert, is the highlight of, and dare I say, the only reason to watch a series called The Blacklist. In a nutshell, James Spader (the lead actor) plays an international criminal who turns himself into the FBI to get close to a young and silly female agent for unknown reasons in exchange for helping to catch major international criminals. It’s not the most interesting of premises, and I feel like we’ve seen this theme before many times. Mr. Kaplan is the Spader character’s ‘cleaner’, and we get to know her gradually over the four seasons that she is allowed to exist, including how she came to adopt the nickname ‘Mr. Kaplan’ and how she came to be forced into the employ of the Spader character. In my opinion, if you feel you need to watch the show, you can stop when she is killed off; there wasn’t much to stick around for after that.
As you may have guessed, I don’t actually recommend The Blacklist. It is a misogynistic vanity production – James Spader is not only the lead character, but also one of the Executive Producers, which may explain why such a show managed to stick around for 10 excruciating seasons. I’ve read male commentary on the show and found it hilarious and typical how ‘versatile’ they think Spader is as an actor. In reality, he’s pretty 2-dimensional. Since his youth, he has continuously played weird and aggressive, often psychopathic, males with some sort of inexplicable sex appeal. Whatever looks he may have once had disappeared long ago, but he still embarrassingly tries – unsuccessfully, I might add – to pull it off in his older years. Even in one of his last major television roles as the narcissistic psychopathic CEO of Dunder Mifflin for a season of The Office, he was almost a carbon copy character of what he does on The Blacklist. It’s a role he does well, but it is only because he’s a bit of a one trick pony despite the undeserved kudos males give him. And it is actually rather easy and natural for males to play narcissists and psychopaths for obvious reasons, and I don’t credit male actors with much talent when they manage to pull off a convincing bad guy. Anyhow, The Blacklist exists to give the flagging Spader a platform to monologue endlessly, especially about unbelievable sexual exploits and to give cameo appearances to other ugly old male actors with waning careers. It also helps that the female lead is not only poorly written – a standard post-year-2000 stupid smart girl who gives an abusive male 1001 chances to stop abusing her – but she is also sadly played by a rather untalented actress, Megan Boone, who spends more time striking a pose than delivering convincing lines. But for men to shine as actors, they must surround themselves with greater mediocrity than their own and prevent the real talent from showing up. Boone makes Spader look good, relatively speaking.
To get back to Mr. Kaplan, she does have a major flaw, and I blame this on male and straight female writers. She has this bizarre devotion to other people’s children. Despite being medically trained with graduate degrees, ability in multiple languages, talent and intelligence, she devotes her life to being a nanny and subordinate of glorified housewives and tantalizing, slutty, bad girl-mommies who order her around and treat her like shit. I guess this is supposed to sit better with the ignorant, lesbian-hating, American viewing public. If you must have a lesbian character at all, and especially one who isn’t young or hot, then you absolutely must make her obsessed with children as the poor dear clearly laments not being born a straight breeder – a true woman.
But despite this flaw, Mr. Kaplan’s final season as a live character is worth watching as she finally grows a pair of ovaries and takes her revenge on the Spader character for his years of bullshit. But even that comes to an acceptable end in the eyes of the American public when the male-powers-that-be decide she has to be killed off for being too interesting and multi-dimensional. Seriously, she is infinitely more interesting than the Spader character, and we couldn’t have that now, could we…? Curiously, the creators of the show initially wanted Mr. Kaplan to be played by a man. But I guess men can’t play nannies… unless it is supposed to be a joke. And this character wasn’t created for comic relief. Nevertheless, I can’t even imagine Kaplan as a male now – they did such a surprisingly good job of casting Blommaert in the role. Really, she was the only really interesting thing about the series.
So I conclude with this: Will the portrayal of an existing and significant, but largely deliberately ignored segment of the population open the door to more lesbian characters, especially of the non-stereotypical variety? Probably not – at least not in the way that gay males and even male trannies have been embraced by television writers. But perhaps slowly, over the next thousand years, if we still have television and haven’t completely destroyed the planet and our couch potato lives, we’ll have a few more interesting lesbian characters to follow.
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Not Gone – Just in Transition
Hey all, just a quick note to update. Nothing has been abandoned, and I will have a post coming up, perhaps in a month. You see I’m in transition. Not a psychological one (or least not intentionally or primarily or deliberately), but a physical, geographical one.
After two years, I finally have a job. I real fucking job. Not a ‘you’re a white girl, so you can work for free because you’re ‘rich’ kind of slave labour position that is constantly shoved down the throats of women like me. And not in my shithole country of Canada, where there is apparently a ‘labour shortage’, while strangely, at the same time, nobody is willing to hire over-educated, over-experienced, middle-aged white women with a strong work ethic and who show up on time and don’t play with their cell phones on the job, and who treat people nicely… No, I mean an honest-to-goodness paying, respectable job. Now, I was studying full time for the first of the two years. But these last 14 months, I can’t tell you how many jobs I’ve applied for. I almost had a job a few months ago, but I was dicked around for weeks and weeks before they cancelled it due to COVID issues. But I kept applying for whatever I could. And finally… something came up.
But I must leave my country to be employed Ahem, like I’m complaining – fuck you, Canada. I never wanted to live here ever again. Forced repatriation sucks. And no, I’m not stealing a job from some local in another country. My job is only holdable by a foreign person with my particular educational and experiential qualifications. I’m going to a country in central Asia that has barely been touched (ruined) by tourists, and I’m learning Russian, one of the official languages, which excites me to no end.
I am writing this in an airport, as I’m starting the second leg of my very long journey. This is my first chance to write in a while. It has been a rough couple of months of sketchy accommodation circumstances…, hell, a rough couple of years. Anyhow, stay tuned. The next month, for sure, will be a monster, but I’d rather that than to continue to be beaten down in a country that so clearly doesn’t want my voracious appetite and capacity for service-oriented work. And woman, I can’t wait to get back to work…
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J is for Joke
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Well, jumpin’ Jehoshaphat, I nearly lost my head there for a mo’. I had started writing my K-post, and then luckily realized early enough that I wasn’t yet finished writing my jeremiad – my J-post.
Anyhow, I blame it on the very recent, record-breaking heat wave we’ve had here in BC. I was living in a tiny, windowless room with debateable ‘ventilation’ from a pipe that supposedly brought in air from outdoors during a week of 40+°C (104°F for Imperial types) – it was a fucking oven, and my brain cooked. I hate Canada and the capitalism that operates under ‘socialism’ here. Money-grubbing and liveable conditions don’t go together. Anyhow (to nip a new jeremiad in the bud), welcome to the Alphabet Series, and today, J is for Joke.
Before I jump in, I did consider a few other J-words before settling on Joke. J is for justice (briefly considered in part of the last post I is for Innocence, where we find out by and for whom exactly the justice system is designed – and it ain’t women); joy (wait for my upcoming book, The Joy of Man-Hating!), judgement (or judgment if you’re American, although no matter how you spell it, all girls and women know this word and the whole ‘screwed no matter which of the equally shitty options I choose’ situation very well! If I feminize, I’m judged; if I don’t feminize, I’m judged. Ad infinitum.) J is also for… jism or jizz, which I wish I knew nothing about – one of those slang words of unknown origin, but which originally meant ‘energy’ back in 1842. Sadly, there is a Bollywood movie called ‘Jism’, which is apparently an erotic thriller, and I have no intention of seeing it, as much as I find the elaborate dancing scenes of Bollywood film to be entertaining and oddly come-join-innable.
I am not going to delve into the content of male humour too much in this post. Rather, I want to get into the ‘just a joke’ mechanism that men use as a get-out-of-jail-free card when they deliberately offend, intimidate, and/or threaten women, especially in public or the workplace. Don’t be fooled by the feigned ignorance and innocence that they pull following your negative reaction to their words or behaviour. All males know exactly what they are doing when they target women for abuse. If a woman dares to call out a male for some misogynistic comment or gesture, or blatant hate speech, he’ll just whip out the whole ‘Jeez, why are you so sensitive? Can’t you take a joke?’ stance. The woman always ends up looking stupid or crazy or troublesome, and can even be blacklisted in workplaces because she is being antagonistic or unstable or unprofessional. Most women will, as per their lifelong training, laugh along with the rape and cheap ho’ jokes, and the feminazi will find herself alone and ostracized.
This ‘just a joke’ mechanism works similarly to alcohol, and to a lesser extent, drug intoxication, where you see men-under-the-influence avoid responsibility for rapes and other sexual assaults they commit. You see, there is a whole series of safeguards built into our patriarchal social and workplace cultures that allow males to push boundaries and shift responsibility for their aggression, persecution and outright crimes onto their victims if they are caught. It’s psychological warfare, and it is effective in dividing and destroying women.
Having said that, what I really want to get at today is another aspect of male jokery. I want to use an example to demonstrate that even when males and females face, what on the surface, looks to be a similar issue, it is usually a much more serious problem for the females. And males, comparatively unthreatened, although possibly a little bothered or inconvenienced, will treat the issue as a joke. They’ll even go so far as to criticize women for taking the issue too seriously, and to turn women’s reactions to the problem themselves as an additional joke.
There are a million and one examples to choose from, but I’ll focus on one that comes from an article published earlier this year (in 2021) by The Right Scoop, an established conservative political and media news blog based in my own country, and that skates just below the edge of general acceptability for reliability and bias according to the Media Bias Chart put out by Ad Fontes Media. As a sidenote, I read all sorts of stuff, liberal, conservative, weird, wonderful, and truly fucked. You have to get out of your comfort zone if you have any hope of having something to write about. I’m not male, you see, so I don’t enjoy circle jerks 😉
I have a copy of the article and some of the comments you can access here on my site. If you want to see all the comments, google the magazine name and “gay campground” and that should get you where you need to go. I try not to link to sites like that directly for obvious reasons.
The basic points of the article – and it is basically a re-quoting of a Queerty article sandwiched by two tiny, original paragraphs – are a) to point out a ‘problem’ – that a small group of trans men (aka women who pretend they are men) got pissy for being banned from a gay-male-only campground, b) to criticize liberals and liberal politicking, and c) to make fun of the constantly devolving LGBXYZ community.
The comments following the article are, as often is the case, just as illustrative as the article, but perhaps from another angle. My link provides enough of the comments to get the point across, but if you love comments sections, google and head on over to the original article to get ’em all.
What you’ll notice from the Queerty article is that the gay male perspective on the trannie issue, while on the surface or without consideration might seem to be a general homosexual problem, isn’t. Gay men are not women and the issues they face with ‘trans men’ (again, aka women) are not the same as what lesbians face with ‘trans women’ (aka men). Gay males generally don’t take trans males seriously – I mean, they are women, and gay males don’t take any women seriously. We are jokes or usable objects, as it is. And women don’t pose a threat to men, on the whole. What the gay dudes see as the main problem is that a gay campground is going to be sex-oriented (big surprise, eh?) and they only want to see dick – REAL DICK – flopping about here and there. They don’t want to see pussy and they definitely don’t want some frankensteinesque frank and beans in their faces. Seriously, man! Come on! Men have problems! And this one is big and hard (or not…?)
The comments, mostly, but not only, by conservative men, turn the whole thing into a joke, even bringing in hilarious comments about lesbians and males in women’s spaces. Complete ignorance about what trans means to women, especially lesbians. There is the requisite reference to feminazis, and a few more rational comments about the gay community not being what it once was, sadly. But the general air is that this is a laughable issue.
Now, for women, trans identified males are a different matter. Lesbians and gay men do share one thing – forcing them to uphold ‘inclusivity’ is an infringement of their rights and freedoms as minorities. I don’t have a problem with closed groups, minority or not. This isn’t the same thing as preventing women from being in the workforce or paying women less than men (wait, that STILL is an issue – and we’re quibbling over the hurt feelings of trans banned from social groups!!!??? Jezus christ.) But that is where the similarities between gay and lesbian problems end. Women, lesbians in particular, have to deal with males who are trans-identified, and we don’t need reminding that no matter what a dude is wearing, he still has the inbuilt, violent, woman-hating, rapey, impulsivity and dominance problem. Tranny males are still super aggressive and scary fuckers. They also go tranny for different reasons than women do, and a lot of it for the males is sexually-motivated entitlement and perversion and mental illness and wanting to dominate. Their approach to penetrating women’s groups has been through aggression, threats, and outright violence. Trans men have not been beating up gay men or raining terror down on them. Trans women have been hurting and threatening and erasing women, however. We know from data, that their rates of violence mirror that of non-tranny men, despite any hormones they take or brain differences that they say they have.
So bottom line here is that like every shared problem that males and females may have, for women, there is always an extra threat of violence and danger, physically and sexually. And that is simply because males, regardless of whatever disadvantages they may have are all still members of the master class, the predator class, the weaponized class, the rapist class. And females are ALL members of the oppressed class, the colonized class, the prey class, the raped class – a dynamic that has existed since human time began. And you can apply this to anything – women are always more at risk than men. Homelessness – more of a threat to women. Death of a spouse in a traditional het relationship – more of a threat to women. Travelling alone. Surviving a natural disaster. Living in a warzone. Speaking out in public. All of these situations are much more threatening for females because of lack of social, political, economic and legal resources. And because of rape and the threat of rape. Yet, despite the fact that on some level, every person knows this is true, when women face problems, they are often joked about. Even acknowledged dangers and risks and possible outcomes become jokes. Rape is a joke. Even when not specifically talking about a political or social issue, rape and sexual violence against women are a source of yuks and bonding for men.
Some women may write off the joking in the same way that they write off men’s ogling and wandering eyes. They ‘need it’ or ‘they can’t help it’ or ‘they are oppressed’ or ‘they are visual people’ or ‘they cover up emotion and insecurity with jocularity’, or whatever fuckery they come up with to justify maintaining their cosy trauma bonds with oppressors. But it is because of this enabling coupled with what I would say is the predator’s natural inability to empathize, that women’s ‘issues’ will never be taken seriously, will remain a source of joke material and will continue to invalidate a class of people. I mean really, what could be funnier than watching a woman’s overreaction when you jump out at her and scare the shit out of her? When you don’t live with a physical and sexual threat hanging over you 24/7, like all females do, how could you not see their crazy reactions as laugh-worthy? If it doesn’t affect you, then it is funny. If it doesn’t affect you in a way that will hurt you physically, sexually, legally, or financially, then it is downright hilarious.
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Just Call Her Crazy
Every so often, I get a flurry of traffic to this site (or more frequently, a particular post) from the manosphere. I don’t consider myself a mover or shaker in the feminist world, nor has it ever been my goal or expectation to be so. I’m not an activist, I don’t for a minute think I, or anyone else, for that matter, can make the world better. I don’t promote myself or advertise, and I don’t allow comments on this blog. I write for myself, primarily, and secondly, I’m out there for anyone else looking for reality-oriented, non-mainstream, woman-centred writing, especially that talking about issues NO ONE will touch because they don’t fit into today’s political agenda. There are very few true female liberationists these days, alas. So basically, I’m small beans, and that’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it.
But, like I said, every once in a while, I’m found, and it tickles me. Sometimes, the referrees are proud, semi-literate, and rather low-intelligence misogynists, such as those from rationalwiki (site that tries to debunk pseudoscience, which I approve of, and to destroy feminists, which I don’t, but these are insecure males, so what do you expect…?) or kiwifarms (internet cretins of the ‘chan’ variety; mom’s-basement-dwellers). Occasionally, I’m referred to on more mainstream liberal ‘feminist’ sites, such as Feminist Current. And then every so often, I show up on some obscure political sub-thread on one social media site or another.
And I say welcome. I don’t personally care whether people agree with me or not because it is important to be exposed to other viewpoints. The vast majority of people don’t realize (or don’t want to acknowledge) that is not possible for a women’s liberationist to have a voice on mainstream social media. We are immediately censored if we don’t virtue signal, or support male agendas (especially if they are ‘oppressed’ groups of males), or suggest that women are oppressed – or these days, just state the most basic fact that women are human females and you can’t opt into or out of that category. So I suppose some are surprised when they head on over to this site and suddenly find my viewpoint, which they certainly won’t read anywhere in the e-homes (especially Reddit or Facebook) where they normally spend their time. And I think some of these folks are probably disappointed that they are not allowed to drop turds in the form of comments, letting me know that I am ‘wrong’ or ‘confused’ or:
CRAZY.
As well as your male-supporting mother and male-dominated society, including school, the police, entertainment, etc.
Yeah, crazy. Super logical argumentation technique that I call ad feminem (because it only applies to women, thus not ‘hominem’). People – men AND male-supporting, heterosexual women call women like me ‘crazy’ all the time. It isn’t anything new. Throughout history and across cultures, men have done a whole host of horrible things to women who haven’t fallen in line, who haven’t behaved correctly and like other women who haven’t agreed with everything males say, who have spoken publicly about the reality that everyone knows exists but won’t acknowledge, and ultimately who have scared them in some way. That has not changed in millennia. And it is effective. Women are the only group of people on earth who can have their entire existence dismissed with the application of a single word, a single categorization. She is ‘crazy’, therefore, you should ignore every single word she says or writes. Calling a woman ‘crazy’ can even effectively negate any victimhood she experiences, especially if it is a sex crime (hate crime), and especially if it is committed by an Oppressed Male ™.
In reality, very few women are actually what could be defined as ‘crazy’. And of the women who have been punished and continue to be labelled and punished, I’d bet you that few to none are clinically crazy. Frustrated, angry, questioning, yes. And outspoken. And that is what this really comes down to. Like I wrote in a past post about the criticism of female voices (see the Shrill section of Shrill, Bitter, Humourless, Prudish Man-Hater), it is all about trying to silence women who speak truth or who fight for female human rights. Things all males and all racial and religious groups are allowed to do and have and be. In Western cultures, ‘crazy’ women have fought so hard to win freedom from waterboarding on dunking stools, being forced to wear Scold’s Bridles (imagine wearing 14 lbs of metal fixed to your head with a spiked metal prong forced into your mouth for hours on end), stripped and paraded through town strapped to a dung wagon, etc. We aren’t taught about women’s slavery and torture through history in our own culture, so people assume that white women were born ‘free’. Nope. My foremothers – the craziest of the ‘crazy’, hated by all – are the reason the woman-hating, cock-sucking dudettes of today have the freedom that they DO have (and who still choose to be with men and criticize outspoken women…). And yet, women still aren’t free to speak. Women are still censored. Women are still called ‘crazy’. Often with no prompting at all, but especially when they dare to talk about women’s history, women’s current status, women’s liberation, rape statistics, the fact that 99% of violent crime is committed by men and that it might suggest that there is a biological basis for that universally observed fact, and more.
To not enthusiastically say ‘yes’ to men and everything they STILL think they deserve to take and have from women is to be crazy. And in all honesty, if you look at some of the shit these labellers believe in themselves, you start wondering if they themselves are the crazy ones.
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I is for Innocence
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
I’m only willing to hear you cry
Because I am an innocent man
Billy Joel
Well, that was a creepy and patronizing lyric from Billy Joel’s An Innocent Man – the flagship Not All Men! song – where Mr. Joel chastises a woman for not spreading her legs for him because some man in her past abused her and she is still traumatized. This is the ubiquitous shaming that all women brainwashed from birth into mandatory heterosexuality go through throughout their lives. How DARE you not trust a male not to rape you, beat you, shame you, degrade you, use you, or kill you! How dare you shut down the fuck machine after being raped! You must have a victim mentality, or you are just fucking crazy or something. He is saying: “How DARE you include ME in a group of people (males) who has, for every second of every day for MILLENNIA, oppressed women and girls on the basis of sex. I am a Good ManTM – an Innocent Man.” Notice, though, that the Innocent Man here doesn’t feel sympathy or empathy for the woman. Rather, he is telling the abused female that she should feel grateful that he is tolerating her lady-bullshit because he is not, in his opinion, a rapist or abuser. Magnanimity or what?!? But the subtext is that, of course, he wants his needs served by this whiny bitch because he has likely dropped a reasonable amount of time, attention and cash on her. Maybe he’ll be so good as to let her cry for 5 more minutes before he really loses his shit.
Sorry, buddy. Not a single one of you is innocent of oppressing females, even self-righteous gay dudes. Even an oppressed male has at least one female under his boot. Woman and girl abuse is built into the patriarchal system of every country and culture in the history of the world.
So, today, I is for Innocence. This post is part of the on-going Alphabet Series.
A few months ago, I put some feelers out on saidit.net amongst the small blackpilled crowd there to inspire some feedback on the topic (you can check out my saidit post and the various comments here). There are some very intelligent women there, as well as some real woman-haters, and as expected, I got some feedback from the former, while the latter ignored me completely, as they always do 😉 So, a shout out to ahhale, lilith, CosmicFarmPrisoner, and tallowcandle for their intelligence and contributions. I’ll make some references to points they’ve made throughout this post, but leave the general attributions and thanks here.
There were so many great I-words to choose from. I selected Innocence a while ago, and I can’t remember what in particular inspired that choice, but I considered a few others. I is also for irrational, which is one of the many, many characteristics that describes males well, but that is always projeted onto females as a sign of their ‘deficiency’. I is also for illogical (ditto on the projection); irresponsible (um, ditto), ignorant (ditto, and I covered this topic a bit in two 2015 posts: Naiveté, Stupidity, and Ignorance, and in Well Read and Willfully Ignorant); impotence (male ‘problems’, oh no!!!); and inclusion (touched on in my Alphabet post on Diversity). And since this writing two years ago, I’ve added I is for Identity, Individualism and Infantilization – check them out on my YouTube channel or my website.
Anyhow, I’ll do the following here today. I’ll define innocence (according to men), and talk about it in terms of the legal system (designed by men), and moral system (designed by men), and I’ll dig into why this is such an important central, but mostly ignored, theme in male domination. And by the end, we’ll be abe to conclude whether this is even a useful concept for women.
Male-Defined Innocence
If you look up the word ‘innocent’, you get the following:
- the state, quality, or fact of not being guilty of a crime or offence;
- the state of not having responsibility for or direct involvement in an event, yet suffering its consequences;
- naiveté; purity, or the lack of guile or corruption; and
- used euphemistically to refer to a person’s virginity
So, we’ve got the realms of legality, morality, and sex. And they are not mutually exclusive, nor are they applied equally to males and females, which is only because males control language and the realms where it is used. The legal system, including in places where lawyers are over-abundant and yet continue to earn more than most people, is still a joke, relying not so much on evidence, as on rhetoric and perception and the skill with which they can be manipulated. Moral systems, STILL mostly based on the whole caveman level “man good, woman evil” way of thinking and STILL protected by circa Dark Age religious and supersitious, anti-woman conventions, ensure that the concept of ‘innocence’ in the non-legal sense, is an intrinsic part of every culture. And the whole virginity and sex thing, which applies SOLELY to females, and is propped up by moral (religious/superstitious) traditions, even in places where religion in the conventional sense doesn’t have a presence.
So let’s dig in.
1) Innocence, Legally-Speaking
the state, quality, or fact of not being guilty of a crime or offence
Now, I’m not going to attempt to do justice to this area of innocence. While I am a qualified librarian at the post-graduate level, and I did take a course in law librarianship, I am decidedly not a lawyer. I don’t have much interest in, and certainly no faith in the formal legal system. I’m more of a ‘vigilante justice’ proponent, myself, when it comes to dealing with male crimes, especially because males are seldom held accountable for the shit they do to women and girls. Male guilt, even when we know the scrote is 100% guilty, is seldom punished because of how legal systems are designed. Canada, like some countries, presumes innocence until guilt is proved ‘beyond a reasonable doubt’. And this holds even if we know damn well a male is guilty because he is caught raping in the act or he was stupid and arrogant enough to record himself raping someone on video and then posted it online. Often, there are technicalities or rhetorical manipulations that interfere with achieving justice. Facts and truth don’t really matter. And here we get at the difference between ‘legal innocence’ and ‘actual innocence’. If a male is found to be legally innocent (aka ‘not guilty’) of a crime, it just means the prosecution wasn’t able to convince verdict-deciders of guilt. He may not have ‘actual innocence’ (aka he did the crime), but for one reason or another, the justice system failed yet another female victim, just as it was meant to. In crimes against women, male innocence usually comes down to ‘he said, she said’ as well as our social contract not to ‘ruin a man or boy’s life’ after he has ruined the life of a woman or girl.
Another murky area centres on mental competence. To be deemed competent, such that a person can stand trial, an accused has to have an understanding of how the law works and the difference between right and wrong. And we determine competence all the time both inside and outside of court rooms. And it is problematic because even if you can show that a perpetrator isn’t fully able to understand what is going on, he can still be dangerous and a massive future threat to women and girls. We see this with, say, the mentally retarded and mentally ill, drunk or drugged-up males, and with boys under the age of majority in the location of the crime. The hoi polloi will generally gift males in these categories with automatic ‘innocence’ designations, and you’ll get the usual bullshit about the need for educating or supporting or rehabilitating the deficient in question, which of course, never has and never will work.
In the court room, it is really hit or miss. Legal experts tell us that it is very difficult for someone to successfully be excused from regular court procedings on the basis of mental health interference. I don’t know. This might be true. Men try it all the time. We just had a case in Canada, where Armenian-Iranian, autistic, publicly self-admitted incel, Alek Minassian, tried to sidestep criminal responsibility for driving his van into a crowd of women in Toronto and killing 10 people. He tried out the whole “autism made me do it!!! Waaaaah!!! I’m innocent!!!” gambit. But in a strange stroke of luck, the courts decided the autism didn’t cause the mass murder (um, no kidding…). He has been sentenced for 10 counts of first-degree murder and 16 counts of attempted murder. One victim has since died. Apparently, we know he understands right and wrong because of his online rants about killing women. Men tell us all the time that hate thoughts and hate speech don’t lead to hate crimes. Yeah right. Anyhow, the female judge was, in my opinion, lenient. Minassian was given a life sentence with a chance at parole after 25 years. He was given 20 years for the attempted murders, although they are to be served concurently, which is pointless. So this means that this human garbage will likely be out in public at the age of 50, vigourous enough to kill more women. I love liberal, woman-hating Canada.
Another little story, as I’m feeling all digressy today – an amusing bit of racism (legal? who knows?) I experienced in Taiwan years ago. I was at the end of a job interview, and the interviewer offered me a position and let me know that they would be withholding several months of my pay. I looked at her and asked “Why?” (my favourite question). She explained that foreigners couldn’t be trusted, so they felt justified in holding their legally-earned compensation hostage until they decided they felt ‘safe’. I replied with “Guilty until proven innocent?” She smiled at the smart, white monkey, and said, “Yes.” I stood up, said, “Thank you,” and left her office without another word. She literally called me more than 20 times a day for a few weeks, which, I discovered is a strangely common ‘thing’ with the Taiwanese, who are an unexpectedly aggressive and nasty culture of people. I never answered her call once and eventually, she went away. If you ever decide to work in Taiwan, be warned. They are racist as fuck, and can smell innocence of the third type from a mile away.
2) The Sticky Spot – Are Women Responsible for the Suffering of Females as a Class?
Still within the realm of the law, but also ethics, and which is also sometimes murky as hell is determining the role of a victim in crimes against herself, her children, or other females. And I reference the second part of the definition of innocence:
the state of not having responsibility for or being directly involved in an event, yet suffering its consequences
I think a lot of people confuse the concepts of responsibility and deservedness when considering female innocence, so I’ll start off by saying that females don’t cause male violence, nor do they ever, ever deserve male violence, even if they themselves are the worst kind of human. I’d prefer female crimes against women and girls to be dealt with within a council solely consisting of objective women, but that is just a fantasy I have.
But can we answer the question of whether females support and contribute to the system of male violence? Absolutely. Think of it this way: if women fought back against males as a group, patriarchy wouldn’t exist as the formidible system that it is. As it is, women tend to accept and enable what males do, and even actively harm other women and girls in order to gain approval from men. So there is definitely a major responsibility that most women refuse to take for perpetuating a bad situation. Participating in heterosexuality, femininity, breeding, enabling sons and hobbling daughters are the top ways to ensure that violence against all women and girls continues. All of this behaviour is political, meaning that actions have meaning and implications for others. Your behaviour doesn’t exist in a vacuum. And most important is not you, individually, but the fact that your male-supporting behaviour harms little girls who have no choice about their birth into patriarchy, and lesbians and women who don’t particpate in heterosexuality, but who do so much of the hetero cleaning and patching up. The only way to stop men is to deny their supply of pussy and emotional, intellectual and physical gynergy. If you are supporting male systems, you are not truly innocent of crimes against females as a class. But like I said, you also don’t deserve male violence. Is this clear? Please take responsibility for the harms you aid and abet, even if you are not the one holding the gun, so to speak.
3) Innocence, Morally- and Experientially-Speaking
naivité, purity, or the lack of guile or corruption
I’m going to try not to venture into the sex stuff in this section, even though, for females only, moral innocence is entwined with sex. Males define females as sex and sex parts and sex servicers, primarily, so it makes sense that female ‘innocence’ cannot be separated from sex.
Thanks mostly to the religions of the world, innocence is a central theme of childhood (again, I’m going to try not to touch on pedophiles here in this section – well maybe a little). There is this strange, magical or ethereal quality attached to the ‘innocence of a child’, perhaps because it is human to have regrets, and regret tends to result from wearing rose-coloured glasses and the normal failures of memory to recall things accurately. Part of this mystical childhood innocence, of course, stems from adult male fascination with possession and destruction, and pedophelia is all about control and power and revelling in causing suffering. What could be sexier to a male than possessing and destroying a magical being? Anyhow, philosophers, psychologists and others attempt to describe this quality called ‘innocence’ as various things from the objective, untainted perspective children have, to a filtering mechanism allowing the individual to engage or disengage with topics of uncertainty. I find it all a bit bizarre, myself, but then again, I don’t wax poetic about my childhood or childhood in general. It wasn’t magical, and I was happy to leave it behind.
In some camps, there is an implication of sullying when innocence is lost. The idea of pure vs corrupted – and this tends to be associated with entertaining vice of any sort, not just sex – is strongly associated with subjective morality and heavy-handed value judgements. At what point is innocence lost according to most people? It usually depends on the sex of the person, the particular activity engaged in, and sometimes whether the activity was engaged in willingly or unwillingly.
To me, what is called ‘innocence’ is just a lack of life experience. I’m not even going to include education in this because it doesn’t guarantee the gaining of experience or knowledge. And I generally don’t attach any value judgement to innocence. I sometimes run into normal-intelligence adult people who seem to me to lack a basic understanding of things that most adults seem to/should know about. So sometimes, I start to wonder whether people really are just inexperienced, perhaps a little clueless because of personality or specific aspects of cognitive ability, or just willingly ignorant. Personally, I like people who are willing to try something/anything once (unless it involves infringing upon others’ rights) and to learn from that boundary-pushing. I don’t think you can talk about things you haven’t experienced with any kind of credibility, so perhaps I do have some value judgement in that I think ‘innocent’ people aren’t really that interesting or useful or able to contribute to learning/teaching/problem-solving. But I don’t find most moralizing all that helpful – I think I get by better than most using my very simple principle of trying not to trample on others’ rights – something akin to the religious ‘golden rule’ that, ironically, most religious people completely fail to achieve in the most basic of ways.
4) Innocence, Sexually-Speaking
used euphemistically to refer to a person’s virginity
Okay, as the definition was taken from a typical male dictionary, we see reference to ‘person’ when we know damned well that the ‘people’ whose virginity matters is female people. In some places and times, a male might be criticized for still being sexually innocent – he should be out raping like there is no tomorrow, right? But he isn’t cast out of society or devalued in a serious way if he hasn’t raped by a certain age. For females, however, their cunts define their basic value as a person, and once that hole has been filled, their value plummets. Their ‘innocence’ is lost. (Shit, is ‘innocence’ just a hole? she jests…) I wonder, more seriously, in the case of female virginity, whether innocence is another way of saying ‘lack of suffering’. I truly believe that once exposed to the demands of males, females’ lives become infinitely worse in so many ways.
There may be justification in rooting the concept of female sexual innocence, not only in religion, but in pedophelia. Males have always been obsessed with conquering, controlling, and taking things away from females, including possessions, bodily autonomy, ideas and products they create, and in this discussion, their lack of exposure to suffering (or ‘innocence’). It is something to think more on. I also have noted that many pedophiles (and rapists of adult women, for that matter) have insisted on their own legal/moral innocence by implying that the female child or adult woman was the guilty and/or beguiling party. It wasn’t rape because the little girl or woman begged for it, or even worse, made them do it. Um no.
The idea of ‘soiling’ a female has been a concept, well… forever. It still is in most parts of the world. In more ‘liberated’ places, there may be constraints placed on level of soiling, depending on how many dicks have come a-knocking, or at what age virginity was lost, whether soiling was done by rape-rape or consensual rape (aka consensual sex), etc. But the common theme across time and place is that dick devalues women and girls. Now notice that the filth is caused by the presence of the penis – this is what has always confused me. If the penis is the cause of the contamination, then why isn’t the penis vilified? A female is ‘clean’ until the filth touches her, and then she is forever tainted biologically, socially, and sometimes, financially. Shouldn’t all males, simply by having a filthy penis (including newborn babies, logically) be vilified, devalued and cast out? I daringly posed this question to a group of high school girls I was teaching in Central Asia, and I got some vigourous head nods from a handful of them. It was encouraging.
But all of this makes sense to me. I am female separatist and therefore make my decisions based on logic and ethical reasoning as much as I possibly can. If you want to keep your body free from sexual disease, male violence, and other problems, you need to stay completely away from cock altogether. I mean, it is a no-brainer. Males spread disease and cause other problems for women’s and girls’ systems. So I do devalue the penis, based on facts and logic. But to maintain their power, males must rely on lies and illogic. Smoke and mirrors. And completely simplistic, dichotomous thinking. Virgin/whore. Pure/tainted. False dichotomies represent the world in which women live, and the very thin (imaginary) lines between male-constructed lady-categories maintain male power in the following ways:
a) They put women into unnatural and alien dichotomous categories (neither of which is actually a good place to be) based on factors usually completely beyond female control;
b) They use these categories to morally, and often legally, justify a whole range of horrific treatment against women, including rape and other sexual abuse, physical abuse, denial of economic opportunity, incarceration, torture, and death;
c) They pit women in different categories against each other to prevent any possibility of female solidarity (i.e., threat to male power).
Conclusion
Do women need the concept of ‘innocence’ as it pertains to their own bodies and safety? In my opinion, the answer is a resounding NO! There is no group of females that deserves to be raped or sexually assaulted or vilified because of value-based categories they are forced into by males. And it is a concept that has only served to police women’s behaviour, thoughts, precarious place in society, and their very ability to survive. Away from heterosexuality, innocence has no meaning for women. Even as a concept in the justice system, it would have little use if women could live separately from males. Away from males, women would be involved in so few serious crimes (mostly as victims, but also as perpetrators), that legal proceedings would likely just involve mediation rather than imprisonment. And innocence would have little meaning. And ‘virginity’ would be meaningless. Away from males, I actually think sexual activity would be so much less important or defining than it is when males control the show. So NO! to innocence.
But we all know where our use of ‘NO!‘ has gotten us throughout time.
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H is for Hate
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Holy hell, time flies when you’re not having fun! I swear, I didn’t mean for nearly 2 months to go by before writing another post. I had a topic chosen and everything. Really! But I find time is moving strangely during this neverending pandemic. Likely, many of you are discovering strange feelings and experiences are entering your small viral bubble world, and you probably feel you don’t have much control over…, well, much at all. You are not alone, even if you feel you are.
But while later than planned, I am here now with the next post in the Alphabet Series.
H is for Hate
I was going to choose helplessness at first, and it is probably a good post topic for another time, but I was inspired by a post I read back at the end of March, written by a more mainstream, academic type of ‘feminist’ on the topic of whether hate crimes and hate speech apply to women as a class, and who decided by the end of her post that while women experience sex-based issues (she seemed almost loathe to call what women experience ‘hate’), the legal system is not the way to deal with it. The legal system works for all the other hates, but it would just create more problems for women (or more likely, she meant for men) than it could even begin to solve. And we can figure out why this might be true – a) crimes and ‘lesser’ harms done to women are constant, committed by most (if not all) males, and against most (if not all) females. I mean, seriously, every single male would go to jail for some period of time in his life if we actually had justice for women and girls. And let’s face it, there would be a shit ton of brainwashed fembots out there protesting holding men accountable for their crimes against women… But it tickles me to imagine males actually justifiably (i.e., being held accountable) living with a fraction of the fear that females unfairly (i.e., simply being born female) live with. And secondly, b) most women ‘consent’ to fucked up, convoluted and demeaning relationships with males. It is impossible to police woman-hate when women seem, on the surface, to say yes to so much of what is done to them.
Now, did this mainstreamer suggest what might work? No, of course not! She works for a university and is a white woman (a dangerous status today), so taking anything other than a milquetoast stance on women’s issues isn’t possible in this age of group-selective Western censorship. There was the obligatory hint that education might be the way to go… And I think it was at this point that I realized that my topic was going to be Hate, specifically woman-hate. You just CANNOT educate males out of raping, out of their innate violent natures, out of doing everything possible to make sure that females lose in every aspect of life and in every corner of the world. Myself, I am a nature-AND-nurture theorist when it comes to human problems, and I believe that to choose either one alone to explain our human world is just plain silly, and even ignorant. But, I regularly read different kinds of self-proclaimed ‘feminists’ who do take these irrational essentialist stances for several reasons, only one of which seems to be that I end up with plenty of stuff to write about. And if you’re wondering about the woman in question, I won’t name her as she is fairly typical of most liberal-leaning feminists out there, although more educated and articulate than the average one, and besides, I don’t believe in publicly shitting on women unless they are doing something really evil and need to be taken down. And even then, I am decidedly not an activist, but rather a writer and navel-gazer and educator. I write to add a perspective, rather than to try, futilely, to change the world.
But back to hell. I mean Hate. There was a nice assortment of h-words I could have chosen for this post. Like I said, helplessness was a tempting choice and you may see it in the future. As well, H is for honesty, hope, hetero/homosexuality, housewifery (definitely want to write about that sometime), homelessness, his/herstory, harmony (key concepts in places like China, but also with the Cult of Positivity crowd — “Why can’t we all just get along, waaaah…?!!?”), and harm. And there are tons more.
Now, if you’ve read further on this blog, you’ll possibly be aware that I already have an ongoing series called Love = Hate. Hate, in general, is a massive topic. It is the prime current (coupled with greed) that runs through and guides the course of all male-dominated societies (basically, every society on earth since the beginning of time), but that is often called love, justice, fear, retribution, morality, the natural order – everything but hate. But as this is a woman-centric blog, my focus is on woman-hate or misogyny. So I’ll stick this post in there in addition to here in the Alphabet Series.
My plan here is to address a couple of the thoughts I came across in the article on hate, or rather non-hate, where it concerns women. And I’ll try to reach a conclusion or at least a suggestion, where the other author couldn’t bother.
Domestic Violence Ruins Progress on Woman-Hate Issues
I’m going to re-word this as I certainly don’t think women deserve violence from males. Ever. But I do take issue with female’s willing ignorance when it comes to putting trust in males. We are swimming in evidence that males hurt females constantly, and that proximity to males vastly increases the probability that a woman or girl will be raped, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, and/or killed. We know that at least 25% of hetero-partnered women experience severe physical violence at the hands of their loving male partner. But despite knowing this, mothers still groom their daughters for heterosexuality and for relationships where although they will probably live an economically better life and be vastly more protected from other males than women who don’t partner with men, they will have to endure some form of misogyny, including manipulative and consensual rape, in exchange. This is the heterosexual contract, and we all know this in our lizard brains, even if we refuse to acknowledge or accept it. In the situation where domestic violence happens and a woman manages to escape it, many will still jump back in the dating pool with this delusion that there is a ‘good one’ out there waiting for her. It is pure insanity, especially in places where women can freely choose to support themselves financially instead of being forced to exchange rape for a home and food. But it is a psychologically complex issue. And even in more progressive places, it hasn’t been all that long for women to have had this choice. Change in thinking takes time especially when traditional thinking and behaviour are always more rewarded.
So, if you boil it down to a single basic truth, heterosexuality is the problem. Go with males, and you are asking for trouble, and will ensure that the system never changes for ALL women and girls. So I’ll reword my header of his section to “heterosexuality ruins progress on woman-hate issues”. Until women reject heterosexual relationships with males, progress on addressing actual hate crimes against women, which I would argue MUST, for the time being, exclude crimes committed within a consensual relationship, will go nowhere. The fact that women consent to male abuse (and this is learned at an early age due to grooming for abuse by mothers, fathers, entertainment, schools, social institutions, etc) is the number one roadblock in sussing out what is going on in any reported hate crime against a female. If you look at all other groups who experience hate crimes, not a one of them is groomed from birth to consent to abuse from or seek abusive sexual relationships with members of oppressive groups. It is because of this that I believe that heterosexuality is morally wrong, irrational from a female perspective, unnecessary for human existence and the continuance of the species, anti-progress, intellectually, for the human species, and inherently violent and destructive to over half the population of the world. And of course, as I’ve said many times before, no one is born heterosexual, so this is a circumstance that absolutely doesn’t need to exist. If we stopped forcing girls into heterosexuality, male violence wouldn’t be the guiding force of human existence. But of course, preventing this is another matter altogether and adult females would fight tooth and nail against stopping the harm of their daughters, likely on the basis that isn’t fair to deny pussy to males.
Woman-Hate Isn’t Really ‘Hate’
One point the author danced around is the idea that all of the currently protected groups under hate crime legislation experience real hate whereas women experience, not hate, but the effects of male entitlement. The reasoning is this. The motivation for persecuting racial or religious groups (and even gays/lesbians) is to eradicate them, whereas males see a use for females, so don’t want them dead, but rather, subservient. So, I call bullshit here. In the history of the world, more women have died at the hands of males than specific racial or religious groups have at the hands of their oppressors. Currently, more women and girls die each week because of men and because they are female, than all persecuted groups combined in any given week. The woman writing is British, so if you look at how many non-whites are killed by whites due to racism in the UK every week, I think there is no comparison with femicide. And I think we’d find the same situation if comparing the prevalence of other lesser hate crimes, such as harassment. There have been what I’ll call ‘episodes’ or blips on the long timeline of human existence, where one group has tried to eradicate another group. There is nothing close to the comparitively short Nazi eugenics program for Jews today – in fact, they are generally, a very wealthy and powerful group now, and frequently show themselves to be effective oppressors of other groups, including women and children. My other favourite go-to oppressed group, American blacks were never targets for eradication. They were seen as a resource to be used and abused – kind of like how men have used women in the past and still do today. So the definition of hate as the desire to obliterate in total doesn’t work. Not all accepted hate targets are targets for elimination, and on the flip side, many males actually do want women to die.
I’d also argue, as I have in several past posts, that most, if not all, oppressions stem from woman hate, the reasoning being that males covet the vaginas and uteri of the females of their tribe, and any group (racial, ethnic or religious) that threatens these possessions and the bloodlines of their group are attacked. So males don’t want males from other groups raping or stealing their women and knocking them up, so they do what they can to take away the power of those ‘others’. So all racism is based in misogyny. Pretty simple to understand. With gays and lesbians, it is still woman-hate that fuels homophobia. Men are supposed to rape and possess women (instead of being penetrated like a woman), so gay dudes are a problem. Women are supposed to be raped and possessed by males, so lesbians are a problem as they are way too goddamned free and how dare they reject those who are superior to them? So how can groups that are persecuted on the basis of woman hate experience legitimate hate, while women are not truly hated?
Solutions?
Now, I agree with the author when she says that the legal system does not solve societal problems. The legal system was designed by men, for men. I think it can help racial groups and any group with males in it. And given what has happened, legally, to validate the trans, we know that male trannies are still male, no matter what the hell they’re wearing or what is going on in their Y-chromosome-filled brains. And it is for this reason that the law will not end problems specific to women. Women are not men, so the system doesn’t work for them. Males cannot conceive of being held universally accountable for their actions, even though they may throw a paltry few under the bus to keep up the appearance of ‘justice’.
But if you don’t advocate for the legal rights for women, and your only suggestion is education, which hasn’t produced any results in the millennia that women have been pleading with, and reasoning with, and educating males not to hurt them, then what hope is there?
Well, personally, I don’t think anything is going to change for women until they reject heterosexuality en masse, and that is NEVER going to happen. So my solutions are based on pure fantasy, meaning that they will never happen in the West or any place that pays lip service to human rights. Males would never allow women to take their power away, and there are too many handmaidens working against female liberation, human rights and dignity already to ever achieve a critical female opposition to changing the legal or social systems.
I don’t believe in system change, as I said, so any solution I would ever come up with would be grass roots or individually- or small-underground-group-run. I do, personally, like the idea of vigilantes working on behalf of wronged women. In Canada, our native people’s have some legal traditions for dealing with conflict in their communities, so why can’t women go further and develop their own justice system to deal with sex-based crimes? In my opinion, if a system doesn’t work for women, then they are justified in taking matters into their own hands. Males have done this many times in the past. Why can’t women? It can be organized, or it can operate more on a vigilante or extra-system level.
The Gulabi Gang founded by Sampat Pal in India is one of my favourite women’s vigilante groups. It started out very grassroots and individual – an single woman’s natural and justified response to a situation involving an abusive husband, and it has grown into a network of over 400,000 women. Women supporting women, armed with sticks and chasing down and beating the shit out of rapists. Not only would that never be allowed in the West, but I can’t even imagine Western women getting their thinking past the utter unfairness to men of giving them a taste of their own medicine. As an update, sadly, I found out that some of the Gang took issue with Sampat Pal over how she was running things, and turned on her, beating her with the very sticks meant for men, and she eventually got kicked out of her own organization. I think back to what I said in my last G post about women needing a few generations to heal before they could ever create their own high-functioning, woman-centric society.
Oh, and one last note, as no doubt someone is wondering why I haven’t talked about ‘misandry’, which is the current whiny accusation of Western males in response to feminism. Misandry – unjustified and pathological hatred of men – isn’t a thing. Males are oppressors and hate women reflexively for no rational reason. When women hate males, it is in response to the oppression and violence done by said males. It is therefore justified, not illogical or pathological or bigotry. This purported prejudice against males that is gaining traction in both testerical incel and liberal circles as something that must be addressed because of the increasing number of ‘poor suffering males’ doesn’t exist. The lies men tell are flimsy, but widely believed, and I’ll address this in my L is for Lies post. We all seem to like to believe males’ crocodile tears. But never fear, males are still on top, doing whatever the fuck they want, and they laugh, if they even notice at all, as women and girls suffer.
Again, this is part of the Alphabet Series as well as the Love = Hate Series
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G is for Girl
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
I’ve been hemming and hawing for days now over which of my select g-words to choose for the next post of the Alphabet Series. But it was settled for me this morning as I was walking down a relatively empty downtown street and noticed a series of posters serving as advertisements for a convenience store. Each poster featured a larger-than-life head and torso shot of an individual consuming one of those disgusting slushie (crushed ice and flavoured sugar water and various chemicals) drinks. Different ages and races, and males/females were represented. And here is what stood out for me. There was a single poster that had been mutilated, and it was the only poster featuring a young white girl. All the other posters were intact – no non-white females of any age were mutilated and no males of any race or age were touched.
There is something about posters that gives them a sort of dog-whistle-like ability – a silent beacon, if you will – to attract the less intelligent and more passive aggressive of society. And it isn’t anti-capitalism activists who heed the call – it is assholes and the stupid. For some reason, they see a poster and the drive to destroy kicks in. Is it funny? Is it a safer and more accessible outlet than hurting actual people? Who the hell knows. I’ve never felt the call to vandalize. But I do notice the results. No blind eye turned here! I notice poster content first, and then I look for the requisite mutilation and, most importantly, who the targets are. Here is what I’ve noticed over many years.
- Females are targeted for mutilation most of the time.
- Males are seldom targets – even the poor Oppressed Black Male TM is seldom mutilated. (Could it be that black male lives matter more than women and girls’ lives…?)
- White female poster characters are more likely to be mutilated than non-white females. [An aside: White females are also more likely to be sexualized/pornified in posters – and I’ve seen this in non-Western countries as well as Western. And the more capitalistic the place is, the worse the white female sexploitation there is. I’ve documented a tiny sliver of the public portrayal of white females, including posterized females, in a few posts listed in my White Girl series.]
Now the big question here is whether girls are mutilated more than adult females… And so we get to the larger topic here.
G is for Girl.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to break out into song with Madonna’s “What It Feels Like for a Girl”. Super dumb song with super dumb lyrics – I mean, really, can you take seriously anything said by a straight (or whatever the hell she is calling herself today), super-pornified, proud sex-pozzie that has capitalized immensely off of peddling sexy, sexy slutdom to impressionable young girls? From birth, for the last few decades, girls have been bombarded by:
- mixed messages from adult women about womanhood,
- grooming for enthusiastic sexual servitude by adult women (see this post here as one small example if you don’t believe me, and be prepared to be creeped out and saddened), and
- evidence of the complete inability of adult women to understand the actual and more serious root (aka male domination) of whatever minor oppression they complain about when not actively engaged in sucking a dick.
And to make things much worse, these influential, ignorant and mindfucking adult women are, first and foremost, the very mothers of these little girls. Confusion or what! This is what it feels like for a girl – at least in Western cultures. No wonder there are so many bloody identity and confidence problems here. We’re all supposed to grow up to be honourable, sexual, innocent, slutty, compassionate, fierce, subservient, empowered, sexy bitches (don’t forget the bitches!!!) What an incongruent mix of incomprehensible, archetypal bullshit! Welcome to being a girl in the Wild West.
Anyhow, before I dive in in a more organized way, I’ll just say that I considered other g-words for this post, including: G is for gaslighting (one of the most important tools in a narcissist’s toolbox, and something ALL females experience), g-spot (it’s not the 1990’s anymore, so we don’t need to talk it about ever again, right?), gang rape, grief, gynocentrism (which I consider to be real feminism and of course, it is much criticized and), god/goddess (why is replacing an imaginary male with an imaginary female an improvement, btw??? Please join reality, ladies. Please.), and grooming (which I’ll talk about in this post).
And of course, the g-word that I wish I could garrote, then swing at with a machete and then hack at with an axe, and then finally shoot in the face 10,000 times just to make sure it’s dead: <<< G is for Gender >>> Some might have thought I would have chosen that one to focus on – it is extraordinarily relevant to female slavery, after all. But I’ve commented on it a lot in many past posts, especially those dealing with the trans cult. All that needs to be said is this: gender is a social construct designed to force females into the inferiority box and keep males running the show, violently with impunity; biological sex is an immutable fact and there are only two of them (sexes) contrary to the delusions of the psychotic (trannies) and liberal child-abusers. These are non-negotiable terms with long-established real meanings. And trying to reverse their meanings (which has been hugely successful – evidence that trannyism is an anti-woman movement) just smacks of a complete lack of intelligence and is embarrassingly and unacceptably anti-science in this day and age.
Anyhow, today, G is for Girl.
I’m going to be very careful here not to delve too deeply into mothers and motherhood or the process of brainwashing / grooming because the former is going to be my M-word in this series, and the latter is going to be the subject of an upcoming separate series and, to me, a fascinating subject. But I’ll touch on them because they are both crucial in completely breaking down and then reconstructing girls into the scary robot-monsters that 99% of adult women are today. As a disclaimer, I am a partially blackpilled feminist-type, and while I do believe males and females are born with different stuff that makes it easier for one to violently dominate and get away with his behaviour and the other to be dominated and to accept her fate relatively unchallenged, I also believe that sociological and psychological processes play a significant role in making sure things don’t change on a systematic level. They are interdependent. But unlike adherents of either camp, I believe that women can escape aspects of their biology and ALL of their socialization. You seldom see it happen though, because it will be an uphill battle with NO support. But it is possible.
Okay, let’s dive in. Keep in mind that I am writing from a Canadian perspective, so in your part of the world, you may see differences. But the thing that is similar for girls around the world is that they are treated as less than boys EVERYWHERE, and will be brainwashed to remain and accept being less in preparation for adulthood.
Let’s Get Real, So-Called Activists
There is no segment of the population anywhere in the world more vulnerable, abused, neglected, unprotected, and un-advocated for than girls. And by girls, (christ, I shouldn’t have to define this… but I realize science or logic or critical thinking aren’t cool or hip these days…) I mean XX-chromosomed (aka ‘female’) humans under the age of 18. Not ‘sissy boys’ who like wearing nail polish and masturbating while trying on their mother’s clothes. Not grown-ass men with mental health and sexual perversion and violence problems. Not even females 18 years of age or over. I don’t care about people’s self-developed or enforced identities that contradict biological facts. Thinking you are a donkey doesn’t turn you into a donkey (although, you may make a credible ass…), if you catch my drift.
Born to Submit and Whore
Girls have things stacked against them even before they are born. If you think about sex-selective abortion, a female is more likely to be scraped or sucked out than a male. And note here that I am not lamenting that abortion occurs – I am an anti-natalist – I just have a problem with the incomprehensible belief that males have more value than females… but I guess if you like weapons… If you look at Wikipedia, they say abortion is “most common where male children are valued over female children”. I laughed for a bit – clearly this was written by a male or cock proxy. There is no place on earth where male children aren’t valued over female children. So let’s reword Scrotalpedia’s error: it’s “most common where either a one-child policy exists or where the resources available to maintain familial dependents are severely limited”. Because let’s face it – if any ‘advanced’ or ‘rich’ country suddenly had a one-child policy forced upon it, guess what would happen??? Exactly. Female fetus abortion and female infanticide would suddenly be a thing.
The sexualization and genderization of females also begins before birth. First off, no matter how open-minded parents think they are, I guarantee you that almost all parents have expectations that their girl-child will grow up to be a nice little heterosexual breeding machine. She’ll go to school, meet a boy, get married, maybe have a job that doesn’t upstage the husband, and will have baybees. Most parents will have no problem with the idea that their daughter’s career will be put aside, maybe permanently. She’ll also take care of her parents when they get old. There will be some variations on the theme depending on where the girl grows up, whether religion is present in the house, and how traditional the family is. But no matter how free-thinking, no parents envision a life for their daughter separate from males, and they certainly don’t wish for lesbianism or a child-free life.
Parents who know they are having a girl child will often decorate baby rooms with cutesy shit and pink everything (or whatever colour that represents femininity and softness and sweetness in their culture), and fantasize about all the little dresses and bullshit they’ll put their sweet girl in. After birth, all people will say is how ‘beautiful’ the girl baby is. Boys will be allowed other compliments and predictions about his future success. But hey, guess what? All baybees, male and female, look pretty much the same for the first couple of years – guess why they colour-code the clothing… so they can tell which ones are girls and treat them accordingly – as future fuckholes – and will start planning her cutesy girl life with a focus on fashion and appropriate (feminine) extracurricular activities. All the toys will involve dolls and fashion and maybe cooking/cleaning/care-taking activities, regardless of what natural proclivities or talents the young girl shows. A few parents might consider ‘gender neutral’ toys, but by and large, there is still always a massive amount of unconscious parental grooming and socializing of the girl. She also almost always has heterosexual parents who model male domination styles, even if they don’t think they are doing so. There is no such thing as an ‘equal’ heterosexual partnership, so the messaging that is sent to girl children in a thousand and one ways is that mother does X and father does Y, with X always being the shit end of the stick. As I’ve said before, I plan to talk about hetero-female brainwashing in a separate series, so I won’t get into all the psychological mindfuckery parents inflict upon their daughters here. Suffice it to say that almost all parents successfully prepare their daughters to be future, unquestioning, pliant victims of men and male-dominated society. And the sad thing is that under the child-ownership, family unit model of raising children, many girls grow up with emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual abuse (much more prevalent for girls than boys) and no way of either reporting it or escaping it.
School, Teachers, and Other People’s Monsters
Parents get a good start on destroying their girls, but then the latter have to enter society in the form of school. And it is here where even girls with a relatively good start, family-wise, really get broken down. At the age of 12, in Canada, only a third of girls say they have self-confidence, and suicide is the third most common cause of death. By the age of 15-16, the percentage of self-confident girls drops to 14%, and suicide is the second leading cause of death. School-aged girls in Canada are 3 times as likely to be medicated for depression and related issues than boys, are hospitalized more than boys for ‘mental health reasons’, are self-harming in unseen-before numbers, and are twice as likely as boys to be cyberbullied. Sexual assaults of girls are common, but the numbers are hard to get a grasp on. Girls are NOT taught about sexual assault or harassment either at home or at school as a rule. They are also not believed if they are brave enough to report inappropriate behaviours or full on assaults. Girls are frequently punished for fighting back against boys who attack them, especially if they trounce the predator in question, and especially if a boy-mom gets involved in what will end up being a career of defending her son’s future rape and assault charges. And the social repercussions of reporting can be devastating as females are almost always blamed for what boys and men do to them. So it’s a no-win situation. Basically, they are fucked no matter what happens. They are punished first through the assault itself regardless of whether anyone finds out. Then, if it becomes known, they are punished for supposedly ‘causing’ the assault, they are punished for fighting back (especially if they win), and they are punished for daring to cause a fuss. I strongly suspect that as trannies are more embraced in schools and trannyism becomes part of the liberal educational curriculum, sexual assaults of girls by ‘trans girls’ (aka boys) will skyrocket. The interesting thing is that despite the constant violence and intimidation of girls, they still do better academically than boys. I am a long-time educator in multiple countries, and I’ve written about male student inadequacy before. The thing that bites here is that despite girls’ clear superiority, their childhood brainwashing, the continuous violence and intimidation they experience in school, and the universal societal hatred of females that manifests on every level of the system ensures that female competence won’t pay off, females won’t fight it, and that incompetent males will always be undeservedly rewarded and supported by everyone.
Myself, I remember being beat up by a group of boys for the first time when I was 5, my first sexual assault by a boy occurred when I was 6, and then it is a blur of being punched in the stomach, being punched in the pudendum, punched in the tit, and countless other violations by boy students over the years. We are always told that when boys do these things, it means they like us. So we learn early on that being female and being loved are about suffering and violence. If you don’t accept it, there is something wrong with you and you are going to end up unwanted and alone. If you were abused at home as a girl, this is an additional threat, as love was always conditional upon you accepting the abuse there, too. And if you got ‘loved’ it was always accompanied by suffering.
I had at least two male pedophile teachers. My grade 6 teacher (I was 11) was very touchy with me and other girl students, and there were endless sexual comments, bra snapping, prejudice and more throughout years of public school. Not once did I ever say anything to anyone. Not about the male students. Not about the teachers. So how can we estimate the prevalence of the breaking down of girl students through sex-specific violence and intimidation when even an above-average student won’t speak up? We know early on that we are in no way protected. Home isn’t always safe, school is seldom safe, and once you hit adulthood, you are fully groomed for large-scale systemic woman-hatred.
Oh, and as an aside, girls friendships don’t do much to help protect against systemic childhood misogyny. See my post on friendship for more on what girls can expect from each other.
Girls and Sexual Abuse
Much, much more attention is paid to the sexual abuse of boy children despite the fact that many, many more girls are sexually abused – and this is contrary to what boy-advocates would tell you (i.e., that girls get all the press). Why might this be? Well, my theory is pretty simple. Boys are not defined by their sexual attributes, while girls are only defined by their sexual attributes. Parents and societies do not build a boy’s identity on his sexual attractiveness. His success will never be dependent upon his physical looks. He is allowed to be smart, and talented, and good at sports, and strong, and social, and a whole host of other things that are allowed to full humans. Girls, from birth, are defined by how they look, and it increases as their bodies develop. By the early teen years, it is apparent (in Western culture, at least) that a girl is three fuckholes and a pair of tits. And every girl knows it on some level. If she has an attractive face, all the better, but even a ‘butterface’ (gross slang meaning that everything about a girl is attractive but her face) has some value as a fuck object only. So a girl is seen as little more than a sexual plaything for males. But, as I said, boys are human. If we pay too much attention to assaults against girls, then boys will somehow lose. And besides, we have to keep grooming little girls for what they will be required to accept in teen dating and adulthood dating and marriage. If you get girls to accept sexual assault as normal, they will make the perfect heterosexual adult women.
Pedophiles: Most pedophiles, are of course, male. And of course, there is a movement (like there always is when male violence and depravity have a spotlight briefly shone on them) to try to prove that there is a larger than life female pedo population. I call bullshit. I have never once seen a female teacher speak or behave sexually inappropriately with a child (except on TV…), but I’ve witnessed and experienced tons of male teachers do so. I’ve never, ever once met, overheard, or read anywhere a woman waxing on about sexy little boys (or even teenaged boys) they want to screw, but I have heard and read it literally thousands and thousands and thousands of times by men talking about wanting to fuck/rape/mess up girls. And there is the presence of deliberate violence in a lot of men’s words. But this makes sense to me as I don’t see male sexuality as separate from their violence. Having penetrative sex with women and girls is ultimately a violent act.
If you read the professional literature on pedos, we hear that roughly 1% of males are ‘true pedophiles’ (i.e., a ‘preference disorder’). But pedophilic fantasizing is present in 5% of males. I think that is very, very conservative, and the idea that fantasizing about raping little girls and teen girls doesn’t make you a pedophile is nonsense. Personally, I think if males knew for certain that they would never, ever, ever get caught, most would rape a child (mostly girls, but probably a few boys would figure in the mix too). I also think many would violate an animal, and of course, most men already stick their dicks in inanimate objects on a regular basis. (I’ve written about male sexuality before.) Males are born wrong, become more wrong through the sociological system they construct and fight to keep, and no one does anything about it except lament that life isn’t fair. Hmm, this isn’t exactly an issue of ‘fairness’.
I also wrote a post in the past considering how many female ‘beauty’ rituals are just ways of keeping pedophilic male tendencies focused on adult females.
Sex Trafficking: The only reason we have pornography and prostitution is because males exist. I firmly believe it wouldn’t exist if men/boys weren’t around. If you are a het woman who is reading this and are yelling at the screen that this isn’t true, I would suggest that you have been well and fully brainwashed and need to deprogram yourself. Many women have managed to escape from the porn-watching loop that males have introduced them to, and they tend to report being unable to believe they ever were able to watch it and pair it with love or female sexuality. Pornography, like prostitution, is dependent upon sex trafficking and forced drug addiction in females, so that they can make it through the pain, suffering and degradation, and then somehow stumble back for more. Most victims of the sex trade are female and almost all are forced into it as children (average age 12-14 years). They can be domestic and internationally enslaved girls. The former are very often runaways that end up in terrible situations that started out on the surface looking like protection. One might find it hard to imagine how a girl can be tricked into slavery, but it is quite common, especially when a girl is afraid, vulnerable, desperate because of poverty, and already the victim of childhood abuse. There isn’t a parent on the planet who talks to their daughters about trafficking (remember, girls are taught to trust males, not suspect them like a feminazi would…), and many of the girls who end up in the sex trade were fleeing sexual and other abuse anyways. They are primed for male ‘protection’ (abuse).
(The Internet Watch Foundation works to protect child victims of pornography – they remove 1,000 pages of child porn from the internet each and every week. And the porn never stops. Because of men. Never fear though – lady porn remains because women can ‘consent’ to their abuse, while children cannot. Fine line, imo.)
A Few Other Things To Think About
I want to close this long post, but before I do, I’ll mention a few other notes that are relevant to girls. First is infantalization and how it leaks into adulthood. I wrote a post on the topic here as a comment on how there is no true equivalent to ’emasculation’ for women because you can’t strip power from someone if they had no power to begin with. Women as a class don’t have power, so the closest you get is ‘infantalization’ – which is a way to prevent women from ever having power or even feeling they deserve to have any. The instilling of powerlessness in females starts very young. And this leaks into the next thing I want to mention: referring to adult females as ‘girls’. It is part of infantalization, and men don’t experience it. This is common in the West, but I’ve also noticed it as a common acceptable practice in places like China. Women refer to themselves as ‘girls’ and almost never as ‘women’. Woman refers not to a regular adult woman, but as a mature, matronly type – an older person, which no woman is supposed to want. Many young women even go so far as to call themselves ‘baby ladies’ or ‘baby girls’, which is this idealized, infantalized, but also desirable/sexy adult female. It is so bizarre and repulsive to me. But it is very common.
I also ran into the whole ‘girl’ thing when I was a young grad student in the US. I noticed a rather yucky poster one day on the wall in my department talking about girls and men, and I emailed the contact on the poster to ask them about the sexist language. I got a nasty, racist, elitist reply from a black woman, sorry – girl – who said the poster came from her black sorority that was, she was proud to tell me, filled with wealthy, prominent, black women. And this was the way they talked. So there. Well, fuck me. Rich, super-privileged black ‘girls’ promoting sexism, and expecting an economically disadvantaged, foreign-with-no-legal-rights, white female to support their leg-spreading cock-suckage. I love this world, and what constitutes oppression and who is promoting it and making sure it never dies… I don’t engage with racists or misogynists as a rule, so I didn’t bother answering this rich American woman. My personal philosophy is to refer to adult women as women to give them the respect they deserve, instead of infantalizing them in the name of supporting male pedophilic tendencies.
Conclusion
Now, like I said earlier and have said many times before, I am an anti-natalist. For many reasons, actually. I have been since I was about 10 years of age. I once, as an early 20-something, had a dream that I was holding a swaddled child and realized that I was preparing a bowl of dog kibble for it, and when I looked down, I had a puppy in my arms. That is my idea of having a child. I’ve since expanded my worldview to include cats… Anyhow, I’m an anti-natalist. I have a massive amount of experience with children throughout most of my life – probably more than most mothers who turn their noses up at the child-free – and I would say with honesty that I’ve helped many. But I wouldn’t say I have a general love of them. They are exhausting. I dislike boy children immensely, and find myself looking at them wondering when they will start raping and creating problems for more than just their mothers and sisters. I am a bit mixed about girls. I feel protective of them, generally speaking. I know they have no advocates or protectors; their mothers are often their biggest betrayers and earliest destroyers. But many girls start showing their future brainwashed fembot monster selves even in childhood, and although it isn’t their fault they are turning out that way, I cringe in revulsion at the child abuse that creates that sort of crafted persona. I don’t like tomboys much either. Yeah, really. I don’t like either end of the gender-spectrum, and tomboys and adult butches don’t solve anything for womanhood, in my opinion, as gender expression is constructed, not innate. But as long as they are not sexist or abusive to women, I don’t really care too much. They may not solve anything, but they generally are not the problem. I do, however, have a very soft spot for quiet, intelligent girls who defy forced gender streaming altogether – and are what I call ‘divergent’ (not to be confused with the definition from Veronica Roth’s book series, but the idea has some similarities). They aren’t masculine, they aren’t feminine, they are adaptable and versatile, and they are able to feel comfortable doing any number of activities regardless of for whom they are deemed more appropriate. It is also harder for them to find their community as they don’t fit into any kind of stereotyped box. These are my girls, and if I am lucky enough to find one, I’ll do anything to support and protect them.
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A few links with stats, etc.
Barriers for Girls – the Canadian Women’s Foundation
Child Pornography – A Few Stats – Children’s Advocacy Center
F is for Friendship
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Well eff me, it’s another post in the Alphabet Series. So many great f-words to choose from – some are obvious picks, some, not so much. You mighta thought I’d have gone for the word ‘feminism’, and trust me, I am going to do a post on the various feminisms and ‘pills’ that are confusing the hell out of everyone – but not at this time. I do have an ongoing series exploring my Birth as a Feminist, if you’re interested in development and evolution in the ways of what men and their lib-fems call ‘man-hating’.
F is also for ‘fuck’ and all its various offshoots – another obvious target and subject of some debate regarding usage in feminist circles, and I’m not talking about that today either. Same with F is for Freedom! which I will address in another post as it is something I want to explore in depth – it is just one of those words that means something different to each person around the world, and is the subject of an annoying lie and source of propaganda churned out by Western countries in order to finger-wag at countries outwardly proud of their racism, sexism and dictatorships. As well, F is for the fight-flight-freeze-fawn set of reactions to threats; fantasy (check out my ongoing Year of the Fantasy series); feminine vs feminizing (an upcoming post); forgiveness (part of the Enabler toolbox and also addressed in a 2015 post here); and family (a fragile, but crucial, cornerstone of patriarchy and female oppression and isolation. Family will come up a little bit today as it is hard to talk about the actual topic without addressing family.
So, we’re going for something different, and on the surface, seemingly juvenile – well, it is, in the sense that it starts in childhood and shapes the trajectory of adult lives. But in reality, this topic is an extremely serious issue for women and girls, and one that is seldom talked about for a few very obvious reasons that I’ll get into.
F is for Friendship.
As ‘friend’ is one of those words that can be a bit of a catch-all in that it can mean everything and nothing at the same time, I’m going to attempt to define it first, with the aid of some categories that describe different functions of friendship. I’ll mention a few differences in how males and females see friendship. And then I’ll get into why friendship is the most important kind of relationship for women, despite not being treated as such, and why it just isn’t possible for women to achieve authentic friendship as long as male dominance and compulsory heterosexuality (they are inseparable, actually) go unquestioned. Finally, I’ll fantasize a little about what female friendship could be.
What is a Friend?
The concept of friendship has been around and written about for millennia, and I won’t delve into the history here because it is vast and has been written about extensively by researchers of human evolution, sociology, philosophy, psychology, and cross-cultural studies. In addition, I’m a little more concerned with the here and now as well as the meaning and mechanics of friendship for women, specifically. A lot of the writings focus on men and how fucking awesome they are (or how deprived they are, the poor dears), and often, tsk-tsky articles are written about female pettiness and bitchiness towards one another without examining why or how that may have come about.
So I’ll start with a simple definition and jump off from there. Briefly, friendship is supposed to be a bond of mutual affection or genial affiliation between two people on equal footing that exists separately from sexual or familial ties. Friends are supposed to enhance your life and provide benefits that you don’t typically expect to get from lovers or family. And it is in engaging in friendship that you are supposed to have the most choice in members and freedom to be oneself – compared to family and other forced or ‘necessary’ ties, that is.
For many people, even today, friends have ended up being neighbours and classmates and (for men for all of history; women only recently) colleagues at work, simply because they were convenient, necessary for survival, and may have had something in common, even if it was only living on the same street. However, as life has become more global, with more migration and travel, and of course with the onset of the digital age, many things have changed, including the possibilities for and definitions of friendship. Traditional childhood friends still exist, especially if one is a person who stays in the town they grew up in, but many people now have ‘friends’ who are random digital strangers who have connected with them through Facebook and who ‘like’ their cat videos. There may, in fact, be no conversation, ever, and they will never meet in person, but they are called ‘friends’, nonetheless. Another modern development in friendship has come with the breakdown of the traditional family and with the gradual disconnect of parents from the lives and health of their children. Increasingly independent of their family, friendship has, for some people, become more important than family relationships, so much so that people may choose to spend holidays with friends rather than family.
There has been some hysteria over the last decade or two about a ‘loneliness epidemic’. Some of you may have seen one of those freaky documentaries about the Japanese and their widespread self-isolation and lack of social connections. You’re left with the impression that Japan is a country full of rape-cartoon-loving, capsule-apartment-dwelling people who pay strangers to eat meals with them because they have no friends. And then you’re wondering whether it’s going to spread around the world because porn is taking over, and more and more of our lives are lived online (especially in light of this never-ending pandemic bullshit). Never fear. First, documentaries, while I love them dearly, aren’t about normal people. How boring would that be, right? The Japanese are a social lot, well-travelled, and rather adventurous. Every country’s got their incels and their extreme social anxiety sufferers, though. Some live in basements, and others live in teeny-tiny apartments, depending on the culture and space available. If you look at the research (here’s an example), there is no actual evidence of widespread loneliness when you compare generations now, or the same age groups across time. One study, in fact, found that today’s teens report less loneliness than those in the past. That’s not to say that the quality of human connection hasn’t changed over time, but people are not really any more or less lonely than they used to be. They do have other issues that arise from an increase in social media involvement, however. I suspect the hysteria over loneliness is just propaganda designed to a) shit on ‘rich’ countries, b) encourage traditional values and heterosexuality by falsely equating being alone with loneliness, and c) to try to prove that the digital world leads to fewer real friends. Let’s just say that this is a massive and complicated issue.
Types of Friendship
I’m a psych person by training, so I sighed and settled in with familiar discomfort in my search for how the ‘experts’ define types of friendship. Everyone needs to put their own stamp on things, so there is a ton of stuff all basically saying the same thing in different ways. I combed and combined what I found into roughly four accepted categories.
- Friendships of Utility: which exist between you and someone who is useful to you in some way
- Friendships of Pleasure: which are maintained between you and those whose company you enjoy
- Friendships of the Good: which are based on mutual respect and admiration
- Friendships of the Right: which are bonds based on shared values, morals, or ethics.
Now, that is what I saw, but I take issue with the first category. Friendships of utility are relationships, but I am loathe to call them ‘friendship’. There is no affection or geniality there, which is basic to the definition of friendship. I strongly suspect that this category was posited by males, because this is generally how all males see people and things. “How can I use that thing/person?” “How is that thing/person beneficial to me?” And if it has no use, it doesn’t exist. If it does exist on their radar, males usually want it destroyed. Basic male psychology. Follow that easy rule, and you will have a much, much simpler life with much, much less agony. Now, males also make use of category two, and if there is pleasure, there is always utility. This describes the whole ‘friends with benefits’ scheme that males cooked up and sold to women as modern female liberation. No commitment or investment from men, but they can use and take pleasure from women. Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free, right?
Friendships of utility are also the most common connections that straight and breeder women have with other women. Once a woman is committed to a male and especially after she has popped out a kid, she only sees other women in terms of how they can help her or fit into her busy and crucial-to-society lifestyle. Even though she chose her situation, she still feels burdened and believes it is other women’s duty to pitch in for free or get together to listen to her endless complaints about her choice for a shot at a privileged life, especially if these ‘friends’ are less burdened and less ‘woman’ in her mind (e.g., lesbians, singles, and the child-free). It is extremely difficult to maintain friendships with women once they go off with a male and go into breeder-mode.
The third category of friendship doesn’t exist for men in relation to women. No male admires or respects women regardless of the line he uses publicly to appear like a Nice GuyTM. Don’t listen to the words, observe his actions, especially the ones that he assumes aren’t being watched. Likewise with the fourth category, which is a common ploy used by men to get women sexually, and which is extremely common in activist and religious groups. Nothing gets an activist female doing free labour or spreading her legs like believing a male shares her world-saving agenda.
Also note that most women are incapable of seeing their ‘friendships’ with men clearly and accurately. The male will have a friendship of utility with a woman, while she is feeling respect and admiration for and possibly shared values with him. And she usually assumes it is mutual. It is not. Even with a friends-with-benefits situation, women will generally assume there is some kind of mutual respect going on, while it is actually completely one-directional from her to him. It is pure delusion, and eventually, the willingly ignorant woman encounters evidence to show her the truth. But she seldom accepts what is going on, choosing instead to remain used and often abused. Or she’ll assume it’s a one-off and move on to the next Machiavellian mister, who will respect her for sure, she assumes wrongly.
Hetero Pair-Bonding and Friendship?
How often have you heard a straight woman say “my husband/boyfriend is my best friend”, and did you manage not to laugh? This is a very, very recent development in hetero relationships. I strongly suspect that is is part of the velvet backlash against feminism and female economic freedom. For many years, ‘protection’, ‘romance’ and ‘love’ were the hooks/promises/lies used to keep women marrying men, but most recently, friendship has been sold to women as a great reason to keep spreading their legs and diverting their newfound financial resources (still much less than men’s, but still enough to live on) into male consumption rather than actual female freedom. Of course, men make better friends for women than other women! How could you believe otherwise? Today’s male is emotional and sensitive and a great listener. Males and females are EQUAL now (a requirement for friendship). He does half, nay! more than half, of the household chores. He wishes he could be the one to become pregnant and put his career on hold and cut ties with his friends and lower his IQ by engaging in baby-talk most of his waking hours for numerous years. Now that is friendship! I’ve never personally met one of these awesome friend-men, but hey… But, of course, it is friends with benefits. So you still have to let him fuck you, and you have to do it. No male is going to stay with you if you say, “Hey friend, let’s stop having sex, ‘kay?”
So, it’s not really a friendship. Males and females, despite liberal protest, are NOT equal. It’s still a sex slavery relationship, but this time, you’re choosing to be a subordinate instead of having no options except public prostitution, nunnery or suicide like throughout almost all of women’s history. And by the way, best friends are usually good for sharing secrets. For hetero women, that means having someone to bitch to about what your owner does to them that annoys or even hurts them, or how marriage isn’t what they expected it to be, or jeez, he really changed after getting hitched… Are these chicks seriously telling their hubbies that they’re sad they get one orgasm for every 50 that he gets and that porn makes them feel sub-human? I wonder to myself, in the absence of an actual friend to talk to, whether these women just live in more denial than a 1950’s housewife… As a long-time student of psychological warfare, I truly admire the husband-best-friend campaign as a smashing psychological success in maintaining female slavery despite the cage door having been sitting wide open for several decades now. Well done!
Same-Sex Friendships
It is really hard to find modern research on friendship that doesn’t address sex, sexuality, romance, or dating. The more ‘free’ societies and people supposedly get (meaning distance from religion & magical thinking and the embracing of science, human rights, social justice, etc.), the more that fucking, sexuality, identity, and the objectification and abuse of women (and the justification of it!!!) seems to be a part of absolutely every aspect of daily life. Men have always polluted society with their sexual deviancy throughout time, but we are living in a time where it is in your face 24/7 and has been normalized. And friendship has not gone unaffected by this. In traditional societies and in the traditional past of Western societies, female intimacy was common and relatively unstigmatized. But today, in ‘free’ societies, women are afraid of friendly intimacy with other women for fear of appearing to be lesbian – the absolute worst thing you can be labelled as a woman anywhere in the world (possibly worse than being called a prostitute).
In traditional China, where I spent many years, it is very common for women to walk around holding hands. And it is not strange for same-sex (both male-only and female-only) friends to be very physical with one another. I remember tutoring a small group of 14-year-old boys at their home one time, and one of the boys was giving his friend a calf massage. Hilariously, I was relating this information to a ‘trans man’ – aka a woman – I was forced to live with last year, and her comment was “that’s weird”. Yeah, women holding hands is weird, but a woman taking hormones and pretending she is a male isn’t weird at all… fucking idiot. Traditional societies are homophobic as hell, but physical intimacy that doen’t involve genitals is not necessarily seen as sexual in same-sex situations. Likewise in the past in Western cultures, adult female friends could share a bed and cuddle one another and it wasn’t polluted with sexual accusations.
I suspect the stigma against non-sexual, friendly, female intimacy is part of the move to keep women serving men and having it ‘make sense’ as I mentioned above. Women today are supposed to focus on finding a single male friend who will eventually become a best friend and then a husband and sperm-donor. Becoming too close, especially affection-wise, with female friends is a strong indicator of lesbian tendencies, which is only cool if you still fuck men the majority of the time and bring the friends home for your male partner to take advantage of.
Let’s explore same-sex friendships more.
Male-Male Friendships
Male friendships have been celebrated and described in literature for millennia and in film since its beginnings. These bonds are rich and layered and they form a very important psychological part of male identity. Men are able to bond over so many things, and seem to be able to forgive one another anything (especially if they can bond over blaming a woman for whatever is wrong). Although I’ve never seen this myself – ever – it seems to be a commonly held belief that males can solve a disagreement by punching each other out and then moving on. I don’t know if that is true. Like I said, I’ve never once seen evidence of this. Males generally don’t compete with one another over that much, and when something goes wrong, there is always a convenient female to gang up on and blame.
But boys and men have always been allowed to have rich lives of freedom compared to females. Able to go anywhere they please with few threats to their safety. They are also given a lot of freedom and forgiveness as children, so they learn that to take and demand are their rights. They aren’t forced to deal with limited freedoms and resources, and are not forced to compete to survive or get attention, so friendship between males is, on average, much easier than that between females.
Female-Female Friendships
One of the most disappointing and angst-producing things in my life is my lack of quality female friendships. Coming from an abusive home with a domineering and severely mentally fucked up mother, and then eventually going no-contact with the entire narcissist-enabling family horde in very early adulthood, I’ve always taken friendship more seriously than most. But from an early age, it was hard to relate to other girls and to deal with the constant, bizarre betrayals. I am neither overly masculine nor feminine in behaviour or appearance, so I didn’t automatically fit in to either the male or female camp and my friends fit two categories. Misfits or outcasts of both sexes. And abusive girls. Both probably stemmed from child abuse patterns I was living. I had a damaged identity, so I couldn’t find a community, and in addition, was a ready-made target for domineering females resembling my mother, until I figured out what was going on and learned to avoid these kinds of people. Once I got to grad school and had a gay community, which, in the 1990’s was blessedly before the trans popped into existence and destroyed everything lesbian, I was in heaven as no one was really what they were supposed to be and revelled in it. But childhood and the teen years were pure hell. I was always a bit of a community surfer – and have remained that way as I fit in less and less, especially in an increasingly lesbian- and reality- and woman-hating world.
With age, experience, and growing feminist awareness, female friendship got even harder. I lost friends to marriage and children and traditional, small, stay-in-place lives. I moved around the world, lived a simple, low-income and portable life, and realized how easy it was and still is for males in my situation to make same-sex friends in any culture. It’s much harder for women no matter where they are in the world. While I can meet child-free women my age in Western countries (although most of them are still hetero, male apologists/enablers, and liberal morons), in a traditional culture, it is next to impossible to create bonds with women who are all married by 25. Even if they are working outside the home, these jobs and potential friendships take second place to family duties. Friendships, if they have any, tend to be long-time ones and they certainly aren’t looking for new ones.
If you are a non-traditional woman and not a man-chaser, finding even partially like-minded women in the meat world is really, really difficult. I’ve learned to let go of any and all expectations of substantive friendship, and I focus on compartmentalized, shared interests. And I don’t seek to push the acquaintance beyond that interest. Female friendships just feel so fragile to me. And there are many reasons for this.
As I alluded to above, most females are forced into sensitivity mode from birth. We’re criticized, micromanaged, punished, and forced into adopting submissive and apologetic behaviours in order to get along in this world. It doesn’t work for all females; some just have the right combination of attributes to withstand brainwashing, and they end up stronger and freer as a result. But if you’ve ended up molded because of this brainwashing, you learn very quickly to be on guard. You’re never really safe. Criticism is a comment on your whole person, your value, your identity. The effects of this are even more pronounced if you have experienced narcissistic abuse as a child. So to be blunt and frank in a friendship is a risky business. You have been taught to accept male aggression and not to stand up to it, but at the same time, you expect other females to be like you. You have been groomed to keep the peace, and to withdraw if there is a hint of war. So what does that mean when you have a relationship between two sensitive people (i.e., two average females?) who are afraid of rocking the boat? You have a very fragile friendship. Misunderstanding is rife.
Add to that the competition for scarce resources and attention that males don’t experience, and you have a recipe for constant war between women over very little. It comes across as petty and bitchy, but it is the natural outcome of repeated punishment and grooming that all girls go through. Males just don’t experience the punishment and deprivation as a class that females do, so they don’t turn out the same way, and they certainly aren’t capable of understanding this kind of psychological slavery.
What ends up happening as girls get older is that there is always the natural draw to other females, but because of the hetero brainwashing, women and girls become ‘placeholders’ instead of real friends. ‘Friends’ are there until they are not needed (meaning a male comes along who needs servicing). It’s like putting the salt and pepper shakers away after eating a meal. You take them out when you need them, then you put them away and forget about them. And in the case of women, friends are there for emotional support, especially after the male master enacts his privilege upon his servant. Women also provide free labour, financial support, entertainment, a safe haven, and the like to their female friends. And when the male snaps his fingers, the friends are put away. Forgotten until needed again.
Of the women who are born with the types of attributes that lead to resistance to brainwashing, and are fortunate enough not to be abused as children, things can go a few ways. Some become very devoted to women, especially if lesbian. If they are lucky, they can find a community, and friendships become more like those men experience, although much richer and more valuable. Frequently, though, many girls who are considered tomboyish as children get turned off by the nonsense that girls get herded into. They may tend to say things like “most of my friends are male” or even “I’m not like other girls”. This is a red flag for me. These are deeply misogynistic women. I mean, I get it. They didn’t fit in with the average female trained idiot and were probably frequently treated like shit by girls as a result. Why would you beg to be let into a club you don’t fit in with or are abused by for petty things? Males treat females like shit in different ways, but it is easier to navigate, and if you are a tomboyish female, the boys will treat you differently. Not equally, but they may not treat you blatantly like a cunt on legs like they do to more naturally feminine girls. The incorrect assumption these girls make is that males respect them as they do other males. Wrong. You may not end up getting raped like a feminine girl (or you might; you just don’t know what males will do), but you will never be one of the boys.
What Could Female Friendship Look Like?
It IS possible for women to have high-quality, lasting, satisfying friendships. I believe it. Truly. Is it going to be common any time soon? Hell no. You need a certain set of conditions in order to allow women to have the qualities necessary to make friendship work. I’m mostly working on fantasy here, but I will say that I have one friend who is as close to ideal as is possible. I’ll describe what we have, and then I’ll talk about necessary conditions.
My closest friend is more than 20 years younger than me. We are from two very different cultures. We don’t agree on everything, and we each have life experience the other can’t relate to. We have had a couple of big arguments, and have recovered pretty easily. We have travelled together. We have helped each other out of a few pickles. She feels like what a sister should be like, but is nothing like what I had with the disaster of a sister I grew up with. We have bonded over a few things: we both have horrific, NPD mothers and suffer similar shit as a result. We both enjoy reading and philosophy and travel and independence. We love animals and don’t want children. Neither of us is interested in men. We can talk about any topic and dig into it, argue about it, theorize, argue some more, and then come to some sort of conclusion (unless it is paused for continuation another day). We comfort each other and offer both serious and funny and sweet support. She is the best hugger I know, despite not coming from a hugging culture. And as of going on two years now, we live more than 10,000 km apart, which kills my soul and hurts my heart. Often. Luckily, we chat online a few times a week. Except for the geographical distance, this is what female friendship should be. It has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with intimacy on multiple levels.
So what conditions do women need to foster this kind of incredible friendship? No heterosexuality, no demanding males in the picture. Preferably no kids, although I’ll say no boy-children for sure. Compassion. Empathy. A firm grip on reality. No enabling behaviour – you should be able to be supporting and critical (meaning, able to point out stuff without being an asshole). Acceptance. You don’t have to agree on everything, and you should know and accept their imperfections. And BOTH people have to be this way. Equality is the key to friendship. Otherwise, you end up in some co-dependent shitfest.
Finally, and ideally, a female friendship is a combination of categories 2, 3 and 4 that I talked about above. Pleasure in another’s company, respect and admiration, and shared values. Utility is for tools, not friendship, and the only human tools are male 😉
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E is for Enabler
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Welcome to another post in the Alphabet Series. So many great E’s to choose from. E is for excuses, egocentric (and a bunch of other ego-related words), emasculation (check out my Emasculating Shears. Oh, I’m just joking or it’s just fantasy or satire or art or free speech – don’t be so sensitive, boys… sheesh), education, equality, eggshells (as in ‘walking on’), etc. But I’ve chosen to take a little dive into a world so many women know well, both as a player of the role and as the victim of our E-word.
Hold on tight because E is for Enabler.
I’ll define it and a few other jargony words first, so we’re all on the same page – dang it if psychologists don’t love their effing jargon. Next, I’ll talk about the Cult of Positivity – my little moniker for those sunny, but vicious, defenders of the world as it looks through rose- and usually penis-coloured glasses. Then, I’ll get into the machinations of enablers in two specific contexts a) male domination–female servitude (patriarchy), and b) Narcissistic Personality Disorder. And finally, I’ll provide some examples of things enablers love to say to victims of the abusers they support.
So let’s all think happy thoughts with the goodest of intentions and get on the train bound for the Land of Reality Denial!!!!!!
Enablers: What Are They and Where Did They Come From?
Compassion and empathy – concern for and an ability to understand the suffering of others – are good things. They are a uniquely human quality; marks of an advanced intellect; and of course, devalued because they are much more biologically common in females. Because of the way males are biologically wired for sadism and violence, compassion and empathy are quite rare to find in a pure form in them. So, in a world run on male violence and manipulation, these qualities end up being vulnerabilities, rather than strengths, highly exploitable and twisted and weaponized through patriarchal socialization. As a result, for women who are biologically wired for compassion and empathy, being raised in patriarchy means that these qualities are used to maintain the system through supporting the masters (males) and using them as weapons against their fellow oppressed (women and girls). If one knows how to manipulate the naturally compassionate as well as how to falsely play the victim, one can do an enormous amount of damage and keep a steady supply of real victims at the ready for one’s own personal use.
Very simply, an enabler is a person who supports or facilitates (aka ‘enables’) harmful behaviour in another person. The behaviour being supported can be self-harm or it can be harm towards other people. And the support can take a number of forms such as providing substances or tools used in the harmful behaviour or a whole range of psychological support that protects the abuser from taking responsibility or paying consequences for abuse. A lot of people immediately think of those in co-dependent relationships with substance abusers when they hear the word ‘enabler’. But these folks exist in all sorts of abusive relationship dynamics. Sometimes, enablers are completely unaware of what they’re doing as they’ve grown up with abusive and dysfunctional family members and are just living the patterns they’re used to over and over and over. But there are plenty of enablers who have more going on than a twisted version of empathy in the mix in addition to their history of abuse. Some of these folks have an idea of what they’re doing, couldn’t give a shit that they are doing harm, and may themselves be narcissists or psychopaths with their own host of enablers.
Co-dependent: Enabling is part of a co-dependent relationship, which is what you’ve got when one person is very needy and has a very weak sense of self-worth and identity. The co-dependent requires outside approval to feel loved or valued, is in poor touch with their emotions, has trouble making decisions, and is willing to completely subordinate themselves to a seemingly stronger (but in many ways, just as weak and damaged) persona in order to feel of any value or have a sense of purpose. These are people who’ve been emotionally abused as children and gravitate to relationships that are familiar abuse-wise. There is usually a sense that they are helping, even when they are facilitaing harm.
‘Flying Monkeys‘ – as much as I hate this stupid term, it is very commonly used when talking about narcissism (which I’ll get into later). I wanted to define it to differentiate between these folks and enablers, although it is possible to hold both roles in an abusive relationship. A flying monkey – a term that comes from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz – refers to people who do harm on behalf of an abuser, just as the flying monkeys did evil deeds on behalf of the Wicked Witch of the West in the book. These people are a sort of proxy or stand-in with their own sense of nasty power, while the enabler is a bit of a cum rag wiping up after the abuser. Now, like I said, a person can act as both an enabler and a flying monkey, both covering for/propping up and dishing out shit on behalf of their overseer. It really depends on personality (disorders) and history.
The Cult of Positivity
Have you heard the term ‘toxic positivity’ before? Well, don’t worry if you haven’t; I can guarantee you that you have met at least – at LEAST – one member of the Cult, and likely, if you tried to have a real conversation with them, the encounter left you wanting to shake them, at the very least.
These are the folks who wax on about forgiveness and bliss and gratitude and cultural sensitivity and everyone having good in them and sending positive thoughts out into the universe and why can’t we all just get along???!!! They also have a whole fuckload of annoying platitudes that they trot out when you attempt to talk about REALITY that say nothing, but are designed to shame you, guilt you, and shut you up. It is impossible to have a real conversation with these people, and if you have bothered trying, at some point early on, they are going to call you ‘negative’ or ‘toxic’ or make some passive aggressive, superior comment about it being really difficult for them to be around negative thinking (meaning you and your cloud of doom). Note that talking about reality and problems are not negative thinking – they are essential to raising awareness and developing strategy for solving problems. Let’s look at an example illustrating the difference between how different approaches sound:
Cult: If we just try hard enough and send out our positive intentions around the world, global warming will be like over! I’ll knit some owl arm bands for solidarity and start a prayer circle for polar bear luv on Facebook! What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!!! Grrrrl power!
Realist: At our current global effort, the effects of global warming will take a greater and greater toll on both human and animal species. I do my part so I can sleep at night, but I don’t have much expectation that everyone will do what’s needed to make a difference.
Toxic, Negative Thinker: Humans were doomed before they even started. There is no point in even trying to solve global warming, so you may as well do whatever the fuck you want. Drive your SUV to go to the corner store ten times a day! Bring back aerosol hairspray cans! After you’re dead, are you really going to care?
Okay, that was fun, but what about enablers? Don’t worry, I didn’t forget. Well, you will find an army of these folks in the Cult. Enablers don’t like to face reality – it is very threatening to them. They have been taught from an early age that talking about problems or having a complaint will inspire anger and punishment in people who are supposed to love them unconditionally. They learned to keep the peace at home by keeping things light and happy and non-threatening. And for most, it persisted into adulthood. Pure avoidance and people (abuser) pleasing. As a result, they end up letting bad people get away with things and hurt actual victims by silencing them. They are weak people, but you still may want to hit them when they gaslight the fuck out of you when you try to talk about something bad that happened to you. Stay away from them. You exist on two different planes of reality, and they will always support an abuser over you, while telling you to forgive and give people a second chance and that so many other people have it worse than you.
Enablers and Patriarchy
I don’t have data on this, but I would strongly suspect that most enablers are women. Females are abused psychologically, physically, and sexually more as children, they are the ones groomed for subservience to males through heterosexual programming, and as mentioned earlier, they more often are born with the capacity for empathy. And all of this abuse, grooming, and exploitation and twisting of a good, but vulnerable, natural trait serves to give males a free pass for the disgusting shit they do to us. And it’s not just blindness to or acceptance of the shit, it is the excuse-making, the rationalizing, the forgiveness, the second (50th, 100th, millionth) chances given, the actual victim-blaming and prey-policing, and the whole range of enabling behaviours that are taught to young girls so that they have mastered male bolstering in time for marriage. Most women enable men. They are not all Cult members, but even the most skeptical, negative Nellies will give a male a free pass when he hurts women.
Now, if you consider yourself to be a Black Pill type, you’ll think that females are born to do this. I have to completely disagree. I’ve talked about this extensively – I see nature and nurture working together in complicated ways – and I don’t think people realize how ubiquitous pro-male programming is in the world. So let’s put it this way. If it were natural to enslave ourselves to men, men wouldn’t need to brutalize us, or punish us for rebelling or fighting back, or threaten us with rape. Remember that the natural needs no forcing. It just happens. And if you really look closely at what little girls are exposed to – the way they are pushed and taught and punished for natural behaviours that don’t serve the male agenda (over and over and over), you can see that there is nothing natural about the behaviour you see in adult women. They are as programmed as robots.
But you can get out of it. You can deprogram. You can stop enabling males. It is just really hard, and living in the world post-programming is freeing, but demoralizing, and really, really fucking isolating.
Enablers and Narcissistic Personality Disorder
If you grew up with an NPD parent or parents, I’m so sorry. Truly. I know what you have gone through, and how you feel now as an adult. Both of my parents were narcissists, different flavours. My mother was the chief NPD. Father was her enabler, a psychologist, and NPD himself. It was an absolute fucking nightmare, and it took years and years to figure out what I had gone through, and to name it, as both parents were abusive in different ways, and the psychologist-enabler-dad did a really good job of making me feel like I was the one with the problem. And when a ‘professional’ is telling you that you have a problem, should you doubt it? When you’re a kid and you don’t know anything except that you’re doubting your sense of self, your very identity and experience of reality? Well, I’m still working through it all decades later – not sure I’ll ever heal completely, but I know what’s what now, and let me say, I’m an expert on NPD and mindfuckery, and sadly, how to effectively destroy a child from the inside…
So yes, enablers can be male. They can make excuses for narcissists who are male or female. The husband-wife / father-mother tag team where the female is the narcissist is a common dynamic. I can’t remember how many times I heard from my father (moreso later in my teens and early adulthood) that my mother loved me, despite all evidence to the contrary, despite some of the completely fucked up shit she did to me. Parent enablers are sort of trying to keep the peace (at least they think they are), but are actually making things worse in the long-run by allowing abuse to continue for years and years and years. And those years are crucial in breaking down the identity that is supposed to be forming in a child. From the child’s point of view, the enabling parent’s key feature is under-protection. And when you are not protected as a child, you grow up never expecting to be safe or even knowing what it means to be safe.
You can also run into enablers of narcissists in your adult life, especially in the workplace, and although you can escape this more easily that you can in a family situation, it can make life difficult. If you have grown up in an NPD family, you have been groomed for this kind of abuse and will mostly likely find yourself in relationships of this sort without meaning to. It will be familiar to you, but still damaging. If you didn’t grow up with narcissistic abuse, you will be thrown for a loop and wondering what the hell is going on. How you deal with the narcissist will depend on a whole host of personality factors stemming from your biology coupled with how you learned to deal with problems growing up.
Some of the things enablers of narcissists will do (and all involve elements of gaslighting) include:
[1] The enabler uses some excuse of victimhood to explain away abusive behaviour.
You’ll be pressured to forgive, negate your own victimhood, give second chances, etc. The narcissist doesn’t mean to abuse you or they can’t help it – they had a rough childhood, or have a lot of pressure at work. Result: You feel guilty and feel like you are the one picking on the abuser.
[2] The enabler reinterprets the intention of the abusive event.
“They didn’t mean it.” or “I think you’re misinterpreting what happened.” Or some variation on this theme. This gaslights you or paints you as oversensitive or crazy or just plain wrong. Result: You question your experience of the abuse.
[3] The enabler tells you that no one else has had the problem/abuse you are claiming to have.
It is clearly not true. The narcissist abuses many people – even the enabler themself. But the enabler isolates you and implies that perhaps it is you who has the problem. Result: you feel alone and unsupported, and start to question whether it really happened to you.
[4] The enabler tells you that everything will get better soon.
Cult of Positivity anyone? This is a clear denial of reality. Abuse doesn’t have an end date, so the implication here is that there is no pattern of abuse, what happened is not serious, and that you are blowing things out of proportion. Result: you hesitate to speak out again because what you think is serious is being dismissed as temporary or a glitch or that you are too sensitive or paranoid. The temporary abuse of course, ends up going on and on and on.
[5] The enabler tells you things aren’t so bad.
Immediately, the abuse is minimized, and this false sentiment may be coupled with another silencing statement that other people have it worse than you. They may even try to tell you how privileged you are. Result: you question your experience of the abuse as you haven’t been validated – clearly you must be oversensitive or seeing something that isn’t there.
[6] The enabler tells you that you are making too much of a fuss.
There is nothing like complaining that someone is complaining to make them shut up. Sometimes, this is accompanied by a listing of the narcissist’s positive contributions (especially if you benefit from them) in order to excuse the behaviour in question and to invalidate your complaints. After all how can such an amazing person be so bad? Result: you feel guilty for complaining, and wonder if the narcissist can really be that bad if they are doing so much for you. Likely, you are some kind of princess used to getting your own way.
Conclusion
There is a ton more I could say here, but this is just a blog post to help you understand what you may have experienced and to validate your feelings of helplessness when you encounter people who minimize or negate your reality. Enablers can be just as dangerous as those they enable. Many of them don’t realize what they are doing due to their own personal trauma, but I’ve never been one to excuse bad behaviour because of a sad personal history. My advice is to avoid enablers if you can, as they will screw with your head and can’t have a frank conversation with you anyhow. And while some believe ignorance is bliss, it is ultimately healthier to live in reality. Wait til I get to talking about psychosomatics 😉
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D is for Diversity
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
And so we are on to D of the Alphabet Series, and though my posts are usually helped along with a little bit of D is for Drinking, I’m doing this one stone cold sober. And I’m choosing a different D word. There are so many delightful words to choose from. To name a handful, D is for disease, dick (and all the fun words you can make with it), deprogramming, double standard, delusion, domination, degradation, danger, death penalty, doormat, double D’s, damsel in distress, death, and more.
But no, I’m choosing one that, if I had a shit list for overused and obnoxious words from the year 2020, diversity would be on it and near the top. And at the rate things are going, it’ll be on my 2021 shit list as well. Oh, hell, who am I kidding – I DO have a word shit list. It’s on my About This Site page that I wrote back in 2015 when I started this blog, and which I’ve been updating over the years as I find yet more people I have no desire to interact with. There, you’ll find a word/phrase shit list (under Reason Number 2 why I don’t allow comments on this blog) made up of liberal / po-mo goober-speak. And my d-word has been on the list for a few years now.
D is for Diversity.
Now, I don’t want to give the impression that I think diversity is a bad thing. Not at all. But like with most things, I embrace the natural, and abhor the forced. Natural diversity is an awesome thing, and I’ll spend a little time talking about that. Then I’ll get to the problematic shit: the forced and unnatural (intentional and unintentional) diversity. If you’ve read anything from my sexuality series, you’ll know I believe that the human male, in his need to control and destroy in the name of love, creativity, and curiosity (but which is really just arrogance, ignorance, selfishness, sadism and a quest for power at all cost), has ended up forcing a lot of unnatural conditions. Diversity is only one of these situations.
So let’s get to it, and in the name of flowers and sunshine and happy stuff, let’s talk about the positives, first. Natural diversity.
Natural Diversity
During the second half of 2019, while I was embarking on the risky adventure of leaving employment in China for unemployment in not-China, I found myself enrolled in a community college Bachelor transfer program in the US. I’m not going to get into that whole bizarro experience in this post, but looking at it now, a year after the school thing fell apart due to the pandemic, I regret choosing the US over France, which was the other option I’d had at the time. But there were glimmers of excellence – there always are, even in the shittiest of circumstances. One of these glimmers was the fall semester I spent in an Ecology course. I’ll admit that I only took the class because I was forced to take electives – don’t get me started on one-size-fits-all models of education… – but luckily, the instructor was stellar and loved her subject area, and ecology, at least, was related to my major. It’s actually a subject everyone should study at the very least online and for free (I highly recommend Coursera for free courses in many different subject areas. And while there, do a quick search on ‘ecology’ to see what they have going on.)
One of the key concepts in ecology and related disciplines is biodiversity, which very basically, means variety of life (species). Biodiversity is the hallmark of a healthy ecosystem, meaning the greater the number and variety of species naturally cohabiting in a region, the healthier the area, ecologically speaking. Greater biodiversity equals better adaptation to threats (e.g., human fuckery, natural disasters, etc.) There are several well-known, and mostly poorly conserved, biodiversity hotspots around the world – I’ve pulled a map and legend from the World Wildlife Fund (I’ve enlarged it – and you can click it for the full size) that shows unique and/or rich biodiversity zones around the world.
(Click to Enlarge)
The key thing to remember is that when we talk about biodiversity, we are talking about the natural. Things grow where conditions are optimal for their biology, and Nature has her way of keeping populations in check. The forager-food / predator-prey foodchain is one of these common systems of balance-keeping. Adaptation is another effective system – change to accommodate things happening in the environment, or die out. And these natural balancing mechanisms work extremely well with all but one species, and I’ll give you a billion imaginary dollars – golden feminist turds, if you prefer – if you can guess which one 😉 Which brings me to the less-pleasant-to-contemplate portion of this post.
Unnatural and Forced Diversity – Male Greed, Ignorance and Hubris
It is natural and biological for human males to brutalize and destroy. They do it in the name of creativity, problem-solving, exploration, and they even try to explain it away as ‘survival’. Very few call it what it really is: the quest for power and control.
So, building on this, let’s say you have a beautifully functioning system. I’m talking about natural, bio systems primarily, but you can apply this to any system you can imagine. Then you introduce human males into the system. In less time than it takes to say “hot mess of the scrotal variety”, you will find a massive dick-shaped wrench thrown into what was originally a well-oiled machine. And while some systems (biological ones, especially) will work things out over time if left alone, they NEVER get the chance to do so for two reasons. First, it is written into male DNA to mess with things, even if told not to in no uncertain terms. They fiddle, they diddle, they poke, they prod, they take, and they kill, and then they shrug it all off. And while utterly self-congratulatory about this fiddling, diddling, poking, prodding, taking and killing, they NEVER actually make things better. And second, males are always trying to deny their obsolescence – in other words, instead of making things better for the majority, they deliberately create problems so that they have something to fix or to ‘overcome’. If there are no problems to apply their maniliness to, then why the hell do they exist? Males dictated long ago the purpose of Woman – to breed and service men, and most women are too afraid and brainwashed to question this MANmade cage – but males have never really answered their own existential question. And this is what every single one of them wrestles with over the span of his life. And we all know what happens when males lack purpose and develop angst. They get really insecure and emotional, and take it out on women and the planet in the worst way they can manage. Sometimes, this destruction becomes a ‘purpose’. After all, for some, even god has a violent plan, right?
So, let’s dig deeper and look at intentional and unintentional unnatural diversity next, and then we’ll finish by addressing forced diversity and its evil twin: inclusivity. I’ll also address forced lack of diversity or forced uniformity. This won’t be comprehensive, but I’ll provide examples to illustrate what I’m talking about. Likely, people will become offended for one reason or another, even though I am just outlining observable phenomena and sometimes the personal experiences of myself and others. Try to hang in til the end.
1a) Unintentional, Unnatural Diversity
One of the best ways to illustrate this type of unnatural diversity is through the idea of invasive species, and despite not intending to cause problems, humans (most often men) are usually the reason it happens. Increased global travel over the centuries, and especially in the last century, has meant that travel vessels as well as import-export goods and shipping containers have been exposed to plants, sea creatures, insects, and animals in one place and then have moved on to another place. Plants, critters (and their offspring), and the various diseases and microorganisms that depend on these larger beings can ‘catch a ride’ and suddenly find themselves in a new ecosystem. Organisms that manage to survive the voyage and then find themselves undiscovered, released into the wild, AND without any natural predators to hunt them down can easily begin to take over the local flora and fauna. Ironically, an invasive species, while initially increasing biodiversity, technically, usually ends up causing a lack of diversity, and in some cases, serious ecosystem destruction.
On the human diversity side of things, I’d argue very strongly that complete denial about how racist, sexist, religious men operate coupled with lax border control and weak liberal politics over the last few decades in Western Europe have led to the massive influx of aggressive, but ‘oppressed’, Muslim male migrants and refugees of various ethnicities. This tidal wave has resulted in a diversity situation with unintended, semi-“invasive species” consequences. And note here, that it is not women who are the problem. The majority of refugees are female, as women are always the majority of victims of war, and they must be supported – although, I’d prefer only to allow their daughters to accompany them – not sons, for obvious reasons. Males, on the other hand, regardless of whether they are migrants or refugees, are always problematic and bring their local brand of misogyny and violence with them to the countries that welcome and support them and allow them to practise their woman-hating religions freely. One of the major problems is that young, single males visit a heap of sexual assault on local and tourist white women. And likely, out of fear of being labelled ‘islamophobes’, no one does anything about it. It’s only women being assaulted after all. Not humans.
***One prime example was the rash of sexual assaults of white women on New Year’s Eve in 2015 – including a volunteer policewoman – by gangs of Arab males in a Cologne, Hamburg and Frankfurt, Germany. Videos taken by locals of the events were pulled off YouTube within hours of upload and mainstream news delayed reporting on what amounted to about 120 reported sexual assaults, including one confirmed rape. Who knows how many ACTUAL assaults occurred – the speed at which white women are deemed racist these days when they report sexual assault by men outside their race defies logic. To add insult to literal injury, the mayor of Cologne, a woman, even laid the blame on German women, and instead of deporting the offenders, suggested that women keep strangers at arms length. The implication was that they were behaving like standard white Western sluts deserving of rape instead of like proper Muslim women who should be helped and pitied.
I myself have been physically and sexually assaulted by Arab and sometimes black males in every single European country I’ve been to except Czechia and Greece and on all but one trip I’ve made to Europe since 1996. Belgium, Germany and France have been the worst, by far. I wrote about a violent gang assault I experienced in Belgium when I was 24 – the first time I’d ever been strangled – where I thought I was going to die. So to me, and other white females I’ve talked to, and who, by the way, like me, have never reported their assaults – because what’s the point? – ‘invasive species’ is an apt analogy. When illegal and non-citizen males are given free reign to assault the local or a targeted race of women, the victims have no power to fight back, and when there is no one ‘predating on’ or exerting control over the interlopers, you have a near-definition of an invasive species. It may not have been intended, but the unnatural and unplanned diversity is highly problematic to females – not males, who ironically, tend to be the most vocal in opposing liberal policy on immigration. Women, stupidly and just like they’ve been trained to do, welcome diverse expressions of misogyny in with open arms and then are shocked when something inevitably happens to them. Why isn’t female safety a human right? Well, we all know the answer to that one. Only penis is human – even a raping penis.
1b) Intentional, Unnatural Diversity
There are times when men deliberately introduce species into foreign environments to serve selfish human purposes or add ‘variety’ to local options, and the results are unpredictable, but usually a problem. Other times, a desirable species from another place is brought in for labour or human comfort as we see with many domesticated pets and farm animals. There are often problems with deliberately introduced species catering to human selfishness. I’ll address food crops, and leave the pets and domesticated animals for now. Let’s explore.
When human males started exploring the world hundreds of years ago, they began to bring back the exotic to their homelands. New foods and spices, plants, animals made their way into local taste and customs providing an unheard of variety of flavours and experiences. This is part of every culture. All cultures have things they use that originated elsewhere, but that may have become ‘traditional’ after years of assimilation. A funny example from China – and I use China because I know more about their culture and their silliness than other foreign cultures, and also they get very superior and snobby when it comes to their culture. Food is an especially annoying area of snobbery. But did you know that the crucial ingredient to the important Szechuan (Sichuan) and Hunanese cuisines – the hot pepper – isn’t native to China? Indeed it is not. The Chinese have the Spanish and Portuguese of the 15th century to thank for introducing oral fire power, originally from the Americas, to their precious traditional food. Likewise with the regularly consumed peanuts and corn – and did you know you can get corn-on-the-cob at McDonald’s in China!
It has been reasoned by Russian plant researchers that the place with the greatest diversity in food crops indicates their origin (i.e., you’ll find more varieties of chili pepper in Central and South America than anywhere else because that is where they are originally from). Logically, as crops move to foreign lands, local peoples will select the varieties that taste and grow best, thus immediately increasing diversity in their diet, while decreasing diversity in plant genetics over time. And today, all around the world, we are seeing much less crop diversity – even in places where plants are native! – due to human meddling in genetics, industrialized farming and the loss of local, small-scale farmers who traditionally planted very local varieties. This doesn’t bode well for the food system at all. And yes, if you trace this problem back to its roots, it is because of male dominance, female slavery, the resultant overpopulation problem and male expansionist tendencies for appropriating resources from other lands and increasing their economic power. It always comes down to something along those lines if you are willing to examine modern problems honestly and in depth.
Check out the food origin map. Click to enlarge.
2a) Forced Diversity (and Inclusion)
Ring-a-ding-ding! As you may have guessed, this sub-topic is the one I’m most interested in from a political standpoint. It stains the entire political landscape in the modern Western world, and it represents a world of illogic, unfairness, sexism, racism, doublethink, and censorship, all wrapped up in a faux moral superiority / virtue signalling shit sandwich. It is, in short, one of the major accomplishments of modern male supremacists dressed up as anti-racism warriors.
All across North America and possibly even extending into Western Europe, you’ll find signage with slogans telling the world how wonderful (forced) diversity and its nasty sibling, inclusivity are. But when you’re forcing something to happen that isn’t natural, it ends up being kinda fake and giving privileges to some while trampling the rights of others. I’m not talking here about making white males mad because they don’t get all the available promotions through nepotism and old boys’ networks anymore. White male supremacy is forced exclusivity, and is thus unnatural. And I’m also not talking about making sure the sub-populations that are already present are represented in their communities. Organizations need to reflect the communities in which they operate – that is natural diversity and a matter of fairness. What I am referring to is deliberately hurting people for characteristics that they can’t change (race and sex), and forcing diversity where little to none may exist to begin with. Just as we don’t look down upon parts of the world where plant species aren’t as diverse, we should not do so with less naturally diverse human societies. And just as shipping a bunch of tropical plants to the tundra isn’t going to achieve anything, forcing human diversity has no objective value or purpose, which is to say that political agendas don’t necessarily have much value or meaning outside of winning popularity contests.
The basic premises of liberal Western diversity measures are that:
a) All white people are evil and racist and should be blamed for everything wrong in the life of a person who is not white,
b) A city or region or group that is unintentionally predominantly white MUST be injected with people who are not white – otherwise, it is not ‘diverse’, has no cultural value, and is therefore, evil,
c) Females are no longer permitted to call themselves women to the exclusion of non-females, and must allow their boundaries and privacy to be invaded and colonized by males. Not to do so is anti-diversity and literally [sic] akin to murder, and
d) Straight, bi or ‘queer’ are okay. Gay or lesbian are NOT. If you have to be homosexual, then you must still fuck people of the opposite sex (even if you have to pretend they are the same sex), because not to do so is not inclusive. Besides what is ‘biological sex’ anyways? Biology is not a science, but rather, a state of mind. Yes, a feeling. And stating facts is discriminatory and anti-diversity. So male is female is male is… wait, what? Well, you know what I mean.
The forced diversity gang (and it is a gang) runs on all sorts of bizarre anti-science, anti-evidence, anti-logic, catchy sound bites that are designed to rally approval-seekers, and to prevent women from talking about interracial oppression and crime, and preventing lesbians and other women from talking about having their rights as women taken away by men pretending to be women. I see the words diversity and inclusivity, a word meant to paint opponents as racist, anti-male, or anti-trans and to silence them, everywhere I go. On front lawns of private homes, on web sites, in store-front windows, and on public school billboards. It is creepy – like the communist propaganda posters you still see in China. You are likely familiar with some of the following:
Forced diversity means that women still aren’t getting ahead. Women are more than half the population everywhere, except where they are deliberately killed off by men and their handmaidens, and yet they aren’t included in this political push for diversity. They are still pushed aside so that males can take jobs, awards, and recognition. It is more important to change the natural composition of a local society for no logical reason other than racial guilt, than to ensure natural diversity is upheld (i.e, including women). [Hint: there is no guilt over misogyny since women will still fuck men regardless. No reparations necessary!] So this means that white women pay the price economically, legally, and socially for what white men have done in the past, while the white men remain untouched and highly employable. It might not be such a big deal to a straight white woman married to a safely employed and highly paid white male, but single white women get thrown under the bus in a number of ways, including being excluded in diversity mandates. And of those added to the mix, they tend to be male as well. Like I wrote in a past post, while looking at a PhD program at a university in a region of Canada that happened to be predominantly white, I looked hard at the composition of the department. I’ve had plenty of experience in departments where I’m not represented, and felt way too old to go through that again. I noticed that the department had no full-time female faculty, despite the field not being particularly male-dominant normally, but they had plenty of foreign males of other races and ethnicities, as well as the requisite stable of white males. I noticed that the university patted themselves on the back for upholding ‘diversity’, but if they truly embraced diversity, that department should have been half female. Forced diversity hurts women, and I’ve never seen an affirmative action program fix anything.
2b) Forced Homogeneity/Uniformity (and Exclusion)
Let’s finish off with the opposite of forced diversity. You know the words ‘pest’ and ‘weed’? Well, these are relative terms. In reality, all species of plant and animal has an equal ‘right’ to go about its business on the planet, and all have a place and purpose, no matter how small. It is only when humans decide that they are more important than all other living things that different species are valued or devalued. Some problematic species are easily managed through hunting or trapping, as in large game that venture into urban areas and kill innocent children, livestock or house pets. Usually, the problem isn’t the wild species; it is the fact that humans have taken its living space and it is hungry with limited access to food sources. Very quickly, species can become endangered if fear of them is high and if their bodies, body parts or body coverings have value. But sometimes, species are hard to manage solely through these means. One brilliant idea, especially with small critters, evasive critters, or critters living in large areas is to introduce what humans consider to be a ‘natural’ predator. Usually, it isn’t local, and the idea is that it will serve the intended purpose – eliminating or just managing unwanted or ‘dangerous’ species – and then either just die once the food source is gone or just blend in and chill. But that seldom happens.Very quickly, the target pest can become endangered, and you may even find out exactly what important role they played in their ecosystem. You also may suddenly find that the introduced species (which has no local predator itself) becomes an invasive species.
On the solely human side of things, we’ve seen many examples of this throughout time in the form of ethnic, sexual and religious genocide. Men of all ethnicities have sought to eliminate other ethnic and religious group, especially women and girls. It isn’t new, and it certain wasn’t a white invention, despite what people are saying these days. But it was and is male. Very, very male. Personally, I don’t understand the drive to have everyone look like you or to relegate a group to a sub-class. These days, race and ethnicity issues are probably more of a problem in countries that are fairly mono-racial and nearly to totally immigration-prohibitive than they are in most Western countries. But they are front and centre in the West despite the fact that the true need, the one that is being sadly neglected, is women’s progress. There seems to be a recent drive to erase women completely as natural beings – a sexual genocide of sorts. Pornification is a form of genocide, I believe. One thing to remember: there is no natural predator for the males in control… And unless there are males in the prey group, there is no hope for fighting back in a way that will work.
Conclusion
Natural diversity, good. Forced diversity, bad. Male meddling, fiddling, and diddling always backfire. I truly suspect that we wouldn’t see any of these issues if men didn’t exist. And if humans didn’t exist…? Well, check out the documentary: “Life After People” (stream for free here) to think about the idea that we wouldn’t be missed at all 😉
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*** addendum, with regard to my discussion of the mass Muslim gang attacks of white women in Germany, please note that the number of assaults and rapes reported varies WIDELY. The numbers I cited were at the low end. Various sources indicate that there were upwards of 1,200 sexual assaults from all over Germany, including at least 50 rapes. We will never know the exact number because a) most white women don’t report rape and sexual assault, especially when the attackers are not white, and b) the Western world doesn’t take rape seriously, especially when it threatens multiculturalism policies. It is shocking, but unsuprising, that while it is internationally acknowledged that these attacks happened, nothing has changed to keep women safe. It is more important to protect male privilege, rapist privilege, and Muslim privilege, and guess what? White women aren’t human either, and our rapes certainly aren’t taken seriously. Sorry, liberals.
Is it Hive Mind or Is There a Handbook? Males Penetrating Female-Only E-Space
So, I’ve been spending a little time over on Saidit talking with some truly interesting women from around the world. I like it. Different ages and cultures thinking about the same issues; I love it when a woman makes a comment that makes me think more deeply about something I’ve either not thought much about before or that helps me clarify my own position. You’re never too old or too experienced to develop… or change! There are some other women there too – they seem young, unfocused, and angry (justifiably so; I have zero problem with righteous anger) who are likely finally finding a place to voice their rage without being censored. But I like discussion of the calmer sort, if I’m up for interaction at all. Don’t get me wrong, I have rage, and I let her out for a stomp every once in a while, even though it’s blood she craves at times…
I’ve hung out on different forums at different times, very often as a lurker. I don’t often participate because what’s the point? Most places are run by men and heavily populated by men and their cockpuppets. You either get censored, ignored or attacked when you comment as a non-handmaiden. Pointless to waste your energy. But so far the saidit blackpill threads seem to be doing alright, if so far under-utilized. If you’re reading this and haven’t been over yet, give it a try. You might find a topic worth talking about. There are a few different, related threads. Just explore.
One thing you will find, however, no matter which forum you find yourself on, is that if there is a woman-only space or a woman-pertinent topic, males will come and jizz all over it. And no matter where they are from or what age they are, they are all exactly the same. It is a bit eerie actually, but as a result, they are completely predictable. I’m trying to figure out whether all males share a mind or whether they are all given a handbook at birth: “How to derail a discussion group of women in the most male way possible in 10 easy steps”. I’m going to ignore the Neanderthal infiltrator. He is the guy who just stomps in and announces that all women are bitches or that women have easier lives than men. And then he just waits for women to freak out (which they usually don’t because they’ve encountered this asshole a million times before). No, today, I’m focusing on the guy who saunters in and attempts a dialogue. There are a million of these guys too, but they are often a little more successful at derailing women. Here’s how it always goes:
- Male announces himself. “Greetings. I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi , but you can call me Humble Scrote. I’m just a simple, innocent male, and I wanted to ask a question to all you wise women. You can feel free to ignore me, but I would love it if you would educate me on X, Y, Z topic. I’m confused.” So, note a few things here: the male must announce himself – unlike any of the women in the group, even if they haven’t posted before. He usually tells everyone he is male and makes some self-deprecating comment to show women he doesn’t feel superior to them (ahem… that’s coming later). He also invites the women to completely ignore him, while at the same time plowing on with an endless paragraph that demands that they filter through the jizzy mess, unable to ignore him. In the humble paragraph, it is clear that despite what his actual words say, he does, in fact, expect the group to completely shift focus to him, and often the question(s) he has isn’t directly tied to the initial topic of the post.
- Reactions: Someone always reacts to the Nice Guy TM. There is at least one naïve and/or well-trained ‘nice’ woman who welcomes the penis to the group. He is being so sweet and humble, after all, so he can’t be one of ‘those guys’. (Not all men!) Women are expected to be nice and helpful, and most importantly, not to have boundaries. It is okay to interrupt women and demand their attention. Men don’t see this as being on the same spectrum as rape, unwanted touching, taking up more than one’s share of space on buses or shared seating, etc. But it is all part of the male dominance-female subservience system. Women don’t have boundaries. Men have the right to be everywhere. So you’ll get a nice welcoming woman, thrilled with the opportunity to help a male understand what women are about, who usually asks penis master to clarify something or to spell out his question, if he didn’t already do so upon flouncing into the e-space. You will also often get at least one awesome woman who will address the intruder by his real name, usually something like Scrote or Moid. Welcoming Woman is usually quicker on the draw, though, so by the time the Warrior Woman has responded, dick-for-brains has usually written at least 2-3 long paragraphs outlining his confusion or clarifying how fucking amazing he is (Not all men!).
- Then the scrote sees the unwelcoming comment, and he shows his real face. Holy shit! He isn’t a Nice Guy TM. Or rather, he is a Nice Guy, but the bitch who is biting his head off is making him respond like some rapey turd. How can you blame him? How else is he to respond to someone who is clearly a man-hating lesbian, and who likely has emasculating testicle shears hanging just inside the front door of her apartment? Is he supposed to just leave the forum? Hell no! He has every right to be in the women’s space derailing everyone from the interesting topic they were discussing and demanding all eyes turned to him as he spins in a testosterific cloud of confusion. Stop talking and just listen and learn by reading? Hell no! He has a right to voice his opinions and ask his questions! How dare these women attack him. He is suddenly a victim and he lashes out like all men know how to do (again, is it hivemind or is there a bloody handbook on this???) His initial response is usually along the lines of “What is your problem? / What did I do??? ” Totally eye-blinkingly innocent.
- Then it goes on. It becomes quickly apparent that the Scrotal Mess isn’t there to be educated. What he really wanted to do was to point out that feminists are misinterpreting the state of the world. Or most men aren’t what the actual data available publicly say they are. Or most men don’t hate women, and the men who do hate women don’t hate them 100%, maybe just like 25% or something (there is always a statistic in there somewhere). Or women have more power than men these days. Or, I mean pick something – it almost always has something to do with women being stupid or privileged in some way, and men are innocent victims suffering in this world because of mean feminists who are mean. Ruining everything! Waaaah!
- There may be some response from the ass-kicking forum defenders telling Sir-Masturbates-Alot to fuck off. The initially welcoming woman has usually kept out of things – she is probably confused. (Why are you attacking him…???) And the man then goes on to do at least one of the following: a) He deposits a man-turd in the form of a warning, e.g., “With this attitude, you will quickly find yourself with few allies.” “You’ll never make progress if you don’t include ME (and other Nice Feminist Guys) in your endeavours.” b) He reinforces his victim status, even though he was the one to penetrate the women, I mean the women’s discussion group. “Geez, bite my head off. I was just trying to learn/ask a simple (multi-paragraph) question.” or c) He’ll make threats and use hate speech. This is self-explanatory. We’ve all seen Nice Guys TM wish us dead or raped. They’ve all reported US for hate speech and tried to get us censored, often successfully. They’ve all called us cunts and bitches and feminazis and whores and TERFs and Karens and the list is endless.
- Scrote eventually fucks off. He is often banned if there is a moderator. But he may come back with a different user name. Sometimes it is hard to tell, they all sound the fucking same. And all women are left knowing that no matter where they are, whether it be online or in the meat world, they will always be attacked by men. Women are just not allowed to speak publicly without some fucking man policing the whole damned thing and thinking that his opinion is more important than women’s and that his demand for attention and service are vastly more urgent and important than the need for women to speak freely and without interference about the things that concern their lives most seriously.
And as a close, please note that I have lurked on blogs representing special interest groups, and you don’t see this level of infiltration and sense of entitlement by members that wouldn’t normally be included in that group. This seems only to apply to women as a class.
It is up to you to decide why all these guys sound the same. Are men born into a hivemind situation or are they handed a manual at birth that teaches them how to dominate women, including in e-forums? The only thing I know for certain is that it is just best not to respond to them. They hate it and will go away faster.
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It’s That Time Again: Black Dicks Matter Month
I’ve seen variations on the following theme increasingly on the internet and once or twice in person (it would be more if the pandemic didn’t limit outdoor interaction and if I were more socially inclined).
I’ve been back in the West for a little over a year-and-a-half, and things have gotten wildly out of control thanks to the liberally insane. I posted on my experience with BDM last year in California and the complete and utterly deafening silence of the Women’s History Month that followed Black History Month. I’m still left wondering whether it’s because a) we erase women’s history, so there is nothing to celebrate, or b) black males can’t accept that there are people more oppressed than they are, or c) trannies have completely taken over womanhood and won’t allow any kind of attention paid to XX because to do so would be to lit-er-al-ly murder them en masse. Probably all three. Regardless, censorship is alive and well in the West. And speaking of censorship, if I get electronically erased by posting this, you can still find me occasionally on Saidit BPF . I don’t allow comments here and thus don’t get a lot of traffic, so I am probably less of a threat than other writers, but you don’t know these days… Just always remember who actually has the power in this world (hint: it is not the people being systematically and swiftly censored – aka women who don’t support the liberal or conservative male agenda – they are the same thing, really). Language and who gets to control it is the ultimate show of power. Note that in the comic strip below, the character playing the ‘target’ (the white female) doesn’t represent anything I’ve ever seen in person or online (i.e., I’ve never seen a white woman stand up to a black male before and question his supremacy over her). The other characters, however, are depictions of what is actually going on. You have ALL witnessed it at least once. I shouldn’t need to spell that out, but if that were true, this post would have never crossed my mind. Just tired of the lies.
White females are not responsible for the sad state of the world, despite how liberals (and me in a fun post) have re-written history to make it appear. Wake the fuck up. Men need to take responsibility for what they have done and continue to do, and women really need to stop policing other women and supporting the oppressive male agenda, which includes group-specific censorship, and hate speech against women (and especially, white women).
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It’s Always about Poverty: COVID Has Finally Hit My Flophouse
This is a rant. I have a few of them in the queue, and I had planned on another topic for publication today, but things move quickly here in Canada. So if you’re in rant-reading mode, buckle up…
It was only a matter of time. I’ve been waiting for it, and frankly, given the living situation and how things are managed here, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner. I came back to my windowless micro-room in the shithole in which I’ve been forced to live due to poverty in my shithole country (Canada) that punishes women for being ‘old’ (among many other things) only to find a note on my door informing me that we’ve been infiltrated by one of The Infected, but that the management will not be taking it seriously.
What?
A little backtracking since you may not have read further back on this blog. I’ve been unemployed for more than a year-and-a-half now. Part of that was planned as I transitioned from a paying job in China back in July 2019 to a full-time studentship in the US, the idea being that I would use the time in the US to make connections and work my way into some employment. Everyone knows that getting jobs isn’t about your education, qualifications or competence, but about who you know and being in the right place at the right time. I’m 48 and this is how it has worked my entire fucking life. This is how men still dominate the job market despite their inferiority. Men help men, and sometimes the women they are fucking or want to fuck. If you are a woman on the outside (smart, gay, old, etc), things are very difficult, so you have to be good at networking.
Anyhoo, the pandemic hit, and suddenly I was stuck in the US with a shut-down educational program, an insanely expensive place to live and nowhere to go. Literally nowhere to go. I have no family, few Western friends who actually do more than say hello electronically and who certainly won’t help me in a time of need, and no home base in my home country of Canada. I hadn’t lived there in a decade. But finding a job in my former field (teaching ESL) in a foreign country was out of the question, so with more than half my small savings depleted, I repatriated to Canada with dread in my bones. And I was right to expect the worst. After being lied to by the Canadian government (they officially told me after a formal inquiry that they would pay for me to quarantine due to having no home to return to) and being forced to stay in an expensive and very specifically designated ‘COVID’ hotel with no affordable food access for 2 weeks, I moved out to a city I had lived in about 20 years previously. I found a ‘cheap’ place to stay in an overpopulated house full of very strange people in the sticks via AirBnB for a few months, but had to flee due to an abusive male who threatened my life because I looked at him in what he decided was a disrespectful way. And given that without a job, you can’t get an apartment, there was nowhere to go but a downtown hostel that did extended days (meaning month-by-month rentals), but functions more like a flophouse, centred as it is in the dangerous homeless- and drug-addict-ridden area of town, and strangely still accepting random travellers from all over the place despite COVID restrictions. I had stayed at this place in a 4-month extended stay 20 years previously when I first moved to the city for a job. It had gone downhill a bit, attracting a lot of really weird, listless and creepy men in addition to people who are flying in from hard-hit Virus areas of Canada as well as other countries. The worst thing about hostels, even in non-COVID times is that you always have to share kitchen and bathroom facilities – hotbeds of germs and disease even under normal circumstances. I know for a fact that the males who share the bathroom closest to my room don’t wash their hands and leave disgusting messes all the fucking time. This is well known because of social research on post-bathroom hand-washing, but the more fucked up the population of men, the dirtier they are. And the cleanliness standards of this place are dubious to me. They don’t clean door knobs. The toilets aren’t cleaned properly, and the showers might get sort of cleaned once a week. Maybe. I had applied for a part-time cleaning job here, but wasn’t even given the time of day. Over the past few months, I’ve noticed the only ones getting the cleaning jobs are people under 30, and there is a whole parade of them, constantly changing staff. I know for a fact that I clean better than any of those fuckers. I’m a Gen-X’er who grew up in a time where children, especially girls, still had household chores starting at a young age. And as the eldest child with a completely useless mother and a mostly absentee father, I had girl jobs and boy jobs. I am a cleaning master. And I know I’m physically stronger than all of the females they employ in this joint. Further, I have more hostel experience than all of these young people put together spending most of my adult life working and moving around abroad as I have. But this is a sexist-ageist world. I can’t get hired for anything to save my life. If I were male, my age wouldn’t matter so much. But I suspect there is a connection thing going on – millennials and Z’s make sure their friends get jobs.
So I get the notice of infection today, they detailed a few things about when the Infected arrived and what their activities were after arriving and when they left. The person was staying in the same area where my room is, which also means we shared a bathroom. The hostel has indicated that it is no big deal. The only thing they are going to change is that they are going to stop taking randos off the street for short stays – but it won’t be implemented until March 1st???!!! How is this helpful? We’re going to continue putting you at risk for another 3.5 weeks. Whatevs.
Now, this particular region where I am living is one of the least affected COVID areas of Canada in a province which has done much better than many of the other provinces (which I attribute to there being a female physican in charge of regulations here), and this is good considering it has a large population. We are on an island, which has helped to limit much of the traffic that would normally pass through a large city. So to have a case show up here speaks to what happens when you have poorly managed (aka ‘money grubbing takes primacy over public safety) congested housing with low-income people, especially males, who generally don’t give a shit how their actions affect other people. Our national media has only focused on the effects on poor immigrants, but there are tons of poor locals who are as affected by disease and poverty as idiots who come here illegally or who come expecting to find streets paved with gold and government hand-outs for people who haven’t contributed to the tax base (trust me, this is a common perception of Canada and why many, many foreigners come here). Poverty is rampant in Canada and it affects all races and citizenship status. But liberalism has its agenda…
I’m pretty sure I had COVID early on while in the US before anyone was taking things seriously, and I really don’t want to come down with the dangerous new strain that has made its way to Canada from the UK. I will say for certain that I think China did things correctly – not the withholding of information from the world part and failing to help the world in a significant way after infecting us – but their local policy implementation of locking everyone down and enforcing strict policies on comings and goings at the community level. They nipped it in the bud before COVID could destroy their economy. Chinese nationalists (according to my former students) are laughing at us Westerners with our fucking ‘freedom’ talk and our limp dick approach to letting people do whatever the fuck they want and thus spreading the disease everywhere and destroying many people’s economic lives (including my own!).
I’ll never be a communist (or a capitalist for that matter), but when I can finally get out of here, I won’t have any problem moving back to a country living under dictatorship. It’s not ideal, and the racist sexism is always there, like it is here, but at least I can be employed and any crises will be dealt with swiftly without entitled shitheads ruining it for everyone. I hate all male political systems, but after going through this pandemic business and coming face-to-face with the rabid anti-woman liberalism that is a worse infection than COVID ever could be, I’ll take the dictatorship, than you very much. In an ideal world, however, things would be male-free and the system would look very, very different in every possible way and this blog would not be needed at all.
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C is for Censorship
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Get ready for a fun topic. It is complex. It can be looked at from different angles. And it can affect women in a variety of ways all at the same time!
That’s right. C is for censorship, ladies, and you don’t have to have spent the better part of a decade living and working in a communist dictatorship like I did to have experienced a form of censorship personally.
I’m going to consider briefly what censorship means in the publicly accepted sense, and then I’ll discuss other forms that are especially relevant to women, but that are seldom considered to be censorship or taken seriously for one reason or another.
First, what is censorship as defined by the world who cares about such things? It is:
The suppression or prohibition of any words, ideas or images that are considered by the powerful to be obscene or amoral, politically unacceptable, or a threat to security.
Okay, thank you scrotals of the Oxford dictionary. Let me just jump in and say this: censorship is about power and control no matter what kind of spin you put on it. All of the reasons men give for censorship are usually spun as some sort of protection of target groups such as women and children, but usually end up controlling those same groups even more. If actual protection of vulnerable groups were the true goals of the censoring bodies, there are more effective and respectful ways of doing it. So, no. It is all about power and control and the only protection is of the ones who wield that power and control. And who are these controlling bodies? Most often, they have been governments and religious institutions, but increasingly today, they are companies/corporations (e.g., publishing groups, media outlets, or social media giants), large organizations (e.g., the Boy Scouts, Planned Parenthood, Pride), schools (at any level), and even social groups (just look around you at the local level). The important thing to note is that censorship is dictated by men and often helped along by handmaidens of the patriarchy.
Protection can often be called ‘cultural sensitivity’, ‘public security’, ‘obscenity safeguards’ and the like. It is worded in such a way to discourage opposition by blackening or questioning the morality of or implying paranoia or conspiracy theorist tendencies in anyone who suggests that the reasons are actually more about control than doing right. There are occasional instances where there is a legitimate attempt to protect the vulnerable or to quell legitimately violent groups through censorship, but as mentioned above, whether this is the correct way to ‘protect’ is up for debate. But the ethics and morality game can be highly personal for most people and the decision about who is allowed to speak and be heard often comes down to very biased decision-making.
So let’s talk a little about recognized censorship and then about other manifestations of censorship that happen, more often than not, to women.
1. Recognized Censorship
Dictatorial Systems
I’ll tell you from experience that it is a serious mindfuck living in a dictatorship as a person who didn’t grow up in one. If you have read anything by Kafka, anything by the various absurdist writers, ‘1984’, etc., then you have had glimpses into some of the situations you might find yourself encountering in communist or fascist countries. Think lots of rules that don’t make sense, with a complementary and necessary underground system of ways to get around all the rules. Lots of contradictory nonsense and red tape that prohibits people from getting shit done or even bothering to pursue things. Lots of threats of consequences that aren’t quite articulated or clear, but that are universally understood to exist. Serious, multi-multi-level heirarchies and knowledge/skill silos such that you can never find the right person for your question or need, and no one seems to be able to solve a problem without 50 other people being involved. And constant non-answers or very circular-logic type answers to very simple questions, especially ‘why’ questions. You have to learn to go with the flow, or you leave, or you stay and go mad. Those are the options as an outsider.
Despite the fact that dictatorships are really dangerous phenomena that destroy lives, they are actually very weak systems. This applies equally to political dictatorships as to small unofficial dictatorships like traditional hetero marriages. And no matter the size, all are dependent upon the absolute control of and power over all the lesser members by the dictator (or husband, in the case of marriage). Because the systems are so weak, the dictator needs dependent members to be voiceless, powerless, ignorant, subservient, and with limited freedoms. Dependent members are mired in mindfuckery and rules, require permission for basic things, and are limited in the information they can access and generate and how much they are allowed to communicate, and the scope of their communications. Many topics are off-limits, especially those that call into question the power of the dictator or make them lose face or even appear to be the slightest bit weak. And this censorship coupled with the threat of serious repercussions for over-stepping are necessary to keep members in line and the weak system appearing unassailable and functioning better than a ‘free’ (or what one might call a democratic) system. Give power to the dependent members, and the system cracks and falls apart. Guess why the divorce rate is so high in Western countries… (hint, marriage wasn’t a female invention!)
In political dictatorships, whether left- or right-wing, the most censored groups are always the ones who have the potential to do the most damage because of their sheer numbers (e.g., women, the poor), they threaten traditional values (e.g., gays and lesbians; minority religious/cultural groups), or they aren’t ignorant and can’t be brainwashed easily (e.g., academics or educated professionals). So you see these groups frequently threatened, silenced, disappeared, and used as scapegoats. Nevertheless, in a political dictatorship, ALL people are at risk for punishment if they say something that falls within the set of taboo topics. And for those who think that the US is a political dictatorship, get fucking real. The sheer amount of material that is publicly generated and individual- or group-attributable that insults, criticizes, humiliates, and borderline-threatens the President (the supposed dictator) and that is NOT censored or punished is proof positive that Americans live in a ‘free’ society. Censorship exists, but it is highly group-selective. And btw, corporations are fast becoming the censors, not the government (e.g., think of the recent censorship of Trump by Twitter – that was corporation-driven, not governmental). So that is something to think about.
Religious Influence and Obscenity
Religious people spend a shitload of time thinking about sex and trying to control every aspect of people’s existence that is remotely tied to sex. The religious have been some of the most amoral people in history, ironically, while trying to enforce their own ‘moral’ systems. And censorship is the name of the game coupled with a very heavy system of punishment, including rape, torture and murder. And this applies to every established religion out there. It is not a surprise then that the most cited rationale for power and control masked as ‘protection’ has fallen under the auspices of censorship on the basis of ‘obscenity’. The prohibition of the teaching of sexual education in schools, forced conversions of gays and lesbians, the banning of all manner of books and art from libraries, galleries, museums, and school curricula, to name a few practices, are common manifestations of censorship.
It is actually interesting when considering ends and means that serious feminists and some religious groups may on the surface oppose certain manifestations of ‘art’ while completely disagreeing about why they oppose it. The former oppose ‘obscenity’ on the grounds that it supports and normalizes a patriarchal system that embraces rape, female slavery, human trafficking, poverty, drug addiction, and child abuse, while the religious are just woman-haters that think depictions of the female body, etc. are filthy and are a prime example of why women (not men) should be controlled. And the hoi polloi ignorantly and erroneously groups feminists with religious fanatics, which probably partially explains why many feminists who oppose pornography and prostitution are incorrectly called ‘prudes’, a term that originally was used to describe ‘sexually repressed’ religious people. Being opposed to rape and forced sexuality has nothing to do with prudery or repression; quite the opposite, in fact.
2. Censorship No One Cares About
There is no country or major organization where some form of censorship doesn’t occur. But there is a difference between the censorship that the free-thinking world accepts as a human rights abuse and the censorship that is ignored or just plain old accepted as “the way things are and is it really a big deal anyway…?” One thing you’ll notice about recognized and pooh-poohed censorship is that the former is usually applied to the entire population without egregious prejudice (i.e., in China, censorship applies to all people on all the taboo topics), whereas unrecognized censorship most often occurs in hypocritical, democratic First World countries that typically tell the world that they value freedom and honesty while erasing targeted, ‘dangerous’ populations. This is likely why so much Western censorship is dismissed/ignored – if it doesn’t apply to you, you don’t think it is a problem. And guess who is less censored than everyone else in Western societies? Men. So if censorship isn’t happening to men – the shot-callers and reality-definers in every single country – then it doesn’t exist (and we say misogyny is less serious or doesn’t exist in Western countries…) Also note that all freedom-loving countries typically have small, but extremely loud, groups of people who complain incessantly about having their rights taken away, but who are usually the most privileged/entitled members of the entire population (males, trannies, religious right-wingers, etc). The actual censored are not loud because they are actually being censored so that no one ever has to hear from them, duh. And if they do make it to public awareness, other tactics, such as painting them as ‘crazy’ are employed. So let’s look at some examples of censorship in ‘free’ countries that people typically don’t acknowledge, accept or are even aware of because it is so effective.
Patriarchy and HIStory
Despite the fact that every civilization throughout time was built and maintained and expanded using female slave labour, women seldom appear in history books or history curricula in schools. Strangely, growing up and going to school in Canada, I learned more about the short-term oppressions of aboriginals in Canada and Australia, black slaves in the US, and and persecuted Jews in Europe during WWII than I learned about the lives, experiences and history of my own foremothers in Canada, let alone the women who were my foremothers in Ireland and Scotland. I certainly wasn’t taught about Western homosexual oppression either. Why do I know more about the suffering of blacks in a foreign country than I do about the women from whom I actually descended who suffered and survived so that I, myself, exist today? Why is my history as a woman so much less important than basically everyone else on the planet who is not a white female? And why the fuck does no other woman question this about her own ancestors, regardless of race or ethnicity? Why is this not strange to women? Why in historical records do we know how many sheep and horses a European male owned, but we don’t even know the name of the wife who slaved for him and suffered his dick and often his fists every day of her life? This is systematic and long-term censorship of female existence. It exists in other cultures as well, but I am speaking for my own. And it is completely unacknowledged.
Speaking solely of my European-descended sisters, why aren’t girls taught about rape and the laws surrounding it historically in our culture? Why aren’t we taught about the origins of marriage and why it is the only legal form of slavery left on the planet? Why aren’t we taught about the things men were legally allowed to do to their wives? Why aren’t we taught about the witch trials in Europe and why they targeted women primarily, and about other witchy persecution of women on other continents (North America and Africa) and why these things happen separately in other places in time, but look eerily similar? Why is the only thing we learn about women the date we got the right to vote in our own country – and why is this presented as the sum total of female achievement in history? Why don’t I know what daily life was like for women of different classes other than what they wore? Why is there this overwhelming assumption no matter where you are in the world that women’s lives have never really been that bad, the implication and ‘evidence’ being that if it was so bad, why didn’t women do anything about it??? Why is the assumption that half the world’s population just barely existed with nothing to contribute, nothing to say and were perfectly happy to have it that way, as if it were meant to be?
There is no cultural or historical female pride in our school systems or in society that is encouraged, promoted, admired and valued in the way that every single ethnic, racial and religious group out there gets in Western cultures. Girls and women don’t seem to see the big deal in being completely ignorant of their history, the history of their FEMALE people, and there is no actual concern that they are not represented in history books, the written and taught narrative of the human race.
Coming from Canada, where there is a strong tradition of female writing and where the female writers are much more impressive and prolific than the males, why were there no Canadian female writers (let alone female writers from other countries) in my English curricula? Seriously. English was the only subject Canadian children of my generation had to take every single year of their formal education, including in our five years of high school in my province. No female writers taught in a country rich with award-winning female writers. That is censorship. Erasure.
When you are not exposed to the works, thoughts, contributions, and history of your people (in my case, white women of Canadian, Irish and Scottish descent), how can you strive to be something? How can you know where you came from? How can you know who and what you are? How can you appreciate what your foremothers did and struggled through? How can you know how little progress has been made – and perhaps that last question gives me the answer as to why girls aren’t taught about their history. We’d see how little we’ve actually progressed as a sex in the so-called socially and politically ‘advanced’ First World.
If girls and women are censored, there is nothing to compare their current conditions to, and nothing to blame their oppressors for. Hell you can’t call them oppressors if there is no record of female oppression!
Trans Tyranny: Censoring Lesbians, Scientific Women, Feminists
There are a lot of ways to tell that male trannies are men. One of them is their use of censorship to bolster their very, very weak power base. Like in any dictatorship, their claims are not logical or proveable, are rooted in serious mental illness and personality disorders, and are all about power and control, which is what all males pursue on some level. Like typical dictators, they attack those with less power than themselves (women) rather than go after those presenting legitimate threats (straight men), which confirms that they are seeking power rather than pursuing anything real.
These men have been very successful in getting other powerful bodies (governments, legal, educational, and social organizations, etc) on their side in the censorship of the little opposition there has been to their nonsense, and I suspect that the only reasons they have been so successful is a) because they are men, and b) the opponents being censored are considered politically and socially unacceptable to everyone. Who is being censored? Women who uphold the scientific / biological facts of how sex (not gender!) works. Women, especially women with daughters, who believe women and girls have a right to private space away from biological males with male socialization. Women who know the facts about male violence against women, who know the data concerning male trans violence against women, and who know the psychological literature on why males gravitate towards transing, and who have read extensively the social media masturbation of male trans talking about the things they do and want to do to women and girls. Lesbians who are no longer welcome in the LG groups they were fundamental in establishing and maintaining, and who are vilified for not wanting to be raped by male trans who insist that their cocks are magically ‘female’. Women who acknowledge how little legal control they have over every aspect of their bodies and female status. Women who oppose the further erasure of their rights and status and the censorships of important words like ‘woman’, ‘vagina’, menstruation, and vocabulary that cannot be separated from the female experience.
And on and on I go. Not many women speak out. The censorship is swift and because of the violent nature of trans and their supporters, can be accompanied by violence. Women can lose their jobs for speaking up, which is censorship. Women can have their blogs shut down, which is censorship. Women are no-platformed at speaking events, which is censorship. Women are destroyed and banned in social media, which is censorship.
And no one acknowledges this in our fucking awesome ‘free’ democracies run on male supremacy. In many ways, in my opinion, I think dictatorships are better than what we have in the West simply because the lies and hypocrisy and selective (but unacknowledged) censorship are much, much worse in the West. But really, both are male systems, and should be eliminated. And before you say it, no, eliminating the censors is not censorship.
The Rise of Liberalism, Political Correctness, and Selective Censorship
Speaking of hypocrisy, we come to the liberals. Liberalism has been a building political movement in many Western countries for a while. Forget political party names for now. A Liberal or Democratic party member in the US is not the same as a Liberal or Democratic party member in Canada, for example. Likely, your country has among its choices, some religious, right-wing group, and some hypocritical, equally nutso, science-abusing, faux-human-rightsy, identity-politicking, left-wing group. Both come from a place of woman-hate (although they pretend they don’t – the former talks about ‘respect’ and ‘tradition’ while the latter talks about women’s ‘freedom’ – all bullshit). So let’s just talk about political leanings, rather than affiliation.
Liberal groups protect themselves from criticism by cloaking their bullshit in superficial human rights jargon. To criticize them immediately makes a person look like a misanthropic, sadistic, murdering, Nazi-type, even when the latter is an actual human rights activist pointing out a hypocritical liberal talking point. These folks fool many by their gung-ho-ness and superficial, at-the-ready mantras and slogans, but they are arguably quite a bit more dangerous than a typical conservative, who puts considerably less effort into trying to appear other than what they are (usually insular, narrow-minded bigots who don’t truly believe in evidence or science). Bascially, you have to work more to figure out what is really going on when a liberal speaks or acts.
Liberals are typically anti-racism warriors, which in and of itself is not a bad thing, except that they do it only when it doesn’t threaten their lifestyles, and they do it at other people’s expense. What does that mean? First, they paint everything as a racist issue in order to censor legitimate criticism, even when there is nothing racist taking place. Second, they don’t really understand what racism is or why it exists, so they censor certain groups of people (for example, white women, who do experience inseparable racism-sexism both in their home countries and abroad) and actually make it impossible for these groups to have a voice when it comes to reporting racist-sexist crime. And think about the language they do censor in various media – American television will bleep out ‘fuck’, but not ‘cunt’ or ‘bitch’. And you never hear racial slurs in American or Canadian television, while female slurs are a given on most episodes of most series out now. I’ve also noticed the new (and increasing) occurrence of male children calling adult women ‘bitch’. Selective censorship meant to denigrate women and empower males of all races. Third, liberals are possibly worse racists than the purported racists they attack, using groups for political gains rather than to help them (think of all the times liberals trot out the poorly understood plight of Muslim women they don’t even know personally in order to censor the speech of white feminists – ‘at least you’re not a Muslim woman’ is almost a cliché now).
One of the most digusting things liberal Americans have done recently is sexist, racist and a massive, but unacknowledged act of censorship. Planned Parenthood decided to remove Margaret Sanger’s name – the FOUNDER of Planned Parenthood – from the NY clinic. They’ve decided she is racist and a eugenics mastermind. This woman made it possible for today’s women of all races and ages to get an abortion and access to birth control, so whatever masterminding she may have attempted, it obviously didn’t work. Rather, Planned Parenthood would not even exist if not for this woman’s bravery and selflessness. I mean think about this. She was born in the fucking 1800’s and fought for women’s right to have the tiniest bit of control over the consequences of their marital, incestuous, workplace, acquaintance, and stranger rapes. This, at a time when women really had little choice about getting married and raped and being forced to breed for their entire lives. And fucking PP decides this heroine has to be erased, shunned, CENSORED. Fuck you Planned Parenthood, you ungrateful, disgusting, woman-hating turds. My rage when I read about this recently could have set a city block on fire. I don’t give a shit what Sanger believed in the early 1900’s. I think there is something arrogant and ignorant about imposing today’s morality on the long dead. Sanger’s contributions to the world outweigh any personal beliefs about anything. She was still a breeder, which I personally don’t agree with, but I won’t censor her contribution to female well-being because of that. Women had no choice about breeding at that point in history, and most if not all believed that it was their sole purpose in life. Today is a different story, however, and I have no problem with holding women responsible for their breeding choices now. Anyhow, liberals are often worse censors than conservatives, and represent the hypocrisy of ‘free’ democratic countries in the same way that conservatives represent dictatorships. Both are garbage, male-defined systems, but if I had to choose, based on experience, dictatorships are so much easier to navigate as they threaten everyone equally and without pretense. But we won’t have an alternative as long as men exist, sadly.
Self-Censorship Resulting from Narcisstic Abuse
On a different note, but equally important on the topic of censorship, especially for women, is something we’ll call ‘self-censorship’. Very basically, this just means that you prohibit yourself from having a voice. This is one of the major outcomes for people who have survived years of narcissistic abuse, especially as a child. It can also be a specific outcome for women who have been outspoken on EXTREMELY unpopular topics, such as women’s rights, rape, etc. and who have not protected themselves from online public assault. One thing I will say is that all men as well as women who haven’t experienced this kind of abuse will immediately dismiss self-censorship as something that is ‘all in one’s head’ or ‘issues’, the implication being one of weakness, the crime of victimhood leading to a victim mentality, or some other misogynistic bullshit that is uniformly applied to women who have beeen abused and who haven’t ‘bounced back’ with vim and positivity. Ignore those assholes. Psychological abuse is the least acknowledged, but one of the most brutal forms of abuse and can literally destroy self-identity and the ability to properly take care of oneself.
Imagine being a child with a narcissistic (NPD) parent and you grow up in an environment where you are constantly antagonized; everything you say and your very reality are doubted and questioned and negated; you are punished for the most bizarre of things without warning; you are humiliated publicly and/or within family/friend circles; you are given the silent treatment or had love withheld for reasons you can’t discern for days, weeks or longer; you are blamed for things you didn’t do; you are guilted, manipulated, accused of lying or being cruel when you are not; and more. And defending yourself ALWAYS makes things worse. Imagine what that does to a child’s sense of self. One of the things the child learns to do is to make herself as invisible as possible, to avoid saying anything definitive, to do anything possible not to be a target or rock the boat. This can happen to adults in adult relationships too, but for a child, we are talking about the crucial identity formation experiences that are necessary to grow into a functioning healthy adult with a solid sense of self. As an adult surviving childhood abuse, you have no confidence in what you believe, often can’t make decisions, and usually avoid saying anything resembling an opinion if you even have one at all. Sometimes, you do have an opinion, but the idea of expressing it is quickly quelled as you start doubting whether it is real, valid or valuable. This is self-censorship.
Wrap-Up
There is a ton of other forms of selective and unacknowledged censorship that I could discuss here. For example, male language traditions (mankind, Man, manpower, chairman, name change for women in marriage, etc.) is a large topic that is designed to exclude women from every aspect of life, while pretending to include them and that it isn’t really a big deal. Censorship and erasure are very big deals, especially when you consider flipping the situation to favour women. Then you find out what men really think about censorship.
But I won’t get into more here as this topic is truly massive. What people don’t really realize is that the censorship of women on so many levels is so enduring, relentless, and pervasive that it isn’t noticeable. People accept things that, if they thought about it and paid attention, just aren’t right, and that wouldn’t be accepted by racial, ethnic or religious groups or by men. As a lone woman, you cannot change this system, but you can allow a woman her voice in your daily life by reading female authors, supporting women’s comments on articles or in social media, listening to female speakers, and giving the little girls in your life the chance to be heard and believed.
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Previous posts in the series:
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A Reminder That There Isn’t a Difference Between Sex and Sexual Violence
Just in case you still refuse to believe that when it comes to men’s minds, there is no difference between sex and violence, I present the top 3 results when I plugged “battered women” into my search engine of choice this morning. Note that as search engines have become more politcally and economically powerful, our top search results are always targeted advertisements instead of what we are really looking for. And sometimes what women are really looking for is help in life or death situations…
I can’t make this shit up. I was confused at first, and then I realized how perfect it was. I had looked up the exact term: “battered women” and first in the search is an ad for a heterosexual dating site geared towards getting women to be more proactive about finding a rapist. Whoops, I mean boyfriend/husband. I couldn’t have created a more perfect example of how men think.
A male reader (or a cocksucking woman) might see these results a different way as this example is so blatantly male stereotypey to be suspect. Is it possible a woman like me managed to subvert the male logic algorithms for the entire search engine and show women what heterosexual dating really means??? No. Fuck no. Women like me wouldn’t be that cruel and sardonic to an actual battered woman looking for help online. We are fine with criticizing women who choose to fuck men (including bisexuals) and who call it feminism or ‘natural’ or ‘freedom’, but we would never make a nasty joke targeting a woman actively looking for help after being raped and/or having her head bashed in by a male who luvs her.
For all y’all who love the idea of targeted marketing, this is a sweet little example of what it can do for you. Male brainpower at work!!! I love the internet!!1!
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B is for Bisexual
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Didn’t think the alphabet would make it past ‘A’ (see A is for Antagonism here)? Not to worry, B is here, baby. I had a bit of a hard time choosing the b-word, and I ended up choosing and then rejecting a few possibilities, which is probably why the post took a little longer to get out than I had planned. There are so many good b-words to choose from, and no doubt, they’ll end up being the topics of other posts. For example, b is for bitch (the obvious choice, but I’ve written about this slur before here and here, for example), backlash, butch, breeder, brutality, BDSM, brainwashing (don’t worry, I’ve got a series on this delectable topic coming), bullshit, blow job, bias, and more.
But today, B is for Bisexual.
To be honest, I am not sure why I haven’t written about this before. I did a little triptych on sexuality in the past, and I really should have discussed bisexuality within its confines, rather than just acknowledging it as one of the boxes men put women in when rating our level of humanity and dictating options for our identities. Perhaps the goddess of writing intervened and knew I’d need a topic for my alphabet series. Who the hell knows. Point is, I’m doing it now, so buckle up. But if you want to pause and gear up with some light reading from the sexuality writings, and to get the gist of my perspective, the relevant posts are as follows:
Part I: An introduction to male omnisexuality and why heterosexuality is even a thing at all.
Part II: The sex drive and sexuality – human obsessions and two misunderstood and badly abused concepts. Also a brief consideration of homosexuality, asexuality, and forced sexuality.
Part III: Women and forced sexuality. A discussion of female needs, the fact that nobody acknowledges them and why that is the reason we don’t understand the first thing about female sexuality still to this day.
If you don’t feel like veering off at this point, then I’ll just summarize my foundational thinking as follows:
For women, sexuality as we know it now and have known it throughout time and place, is completely constructed. Constructed by men, and embraced by women through their programming. Constructed female sexuality has mostly been categorical, meaning that women are put into boxes according to what men want to do to us and what they want us to do. Men have constructed ‘rational’ / ‘scientific’ and religious explanations for the boxes they put us in to prevent us from figuring out what we actually are naturally, and to inspire us to hate the few women who reject categorization. In reality, our sexuality, if we have any (the true question), should be based on our own self-defined needs, rather than our anatomy or what men need and want. No woman has ever been able to do this outside the influence of male dominance, so my argument is that we haven’t a clue what natural female sexuality looks like at all. Even lesbians are strongly influenced by hetero programming, and I believe they don’t behave completely naturally either. I’ve discussed what natural means in another post, and my opinion is that if you have to construct an entire, rather brutal system geared towards keeping women in line and servicing men ‘happily’, then heterosexuality in women isn’t natural at all. Nature happens without force, intimidation, or indoctrination. Honestly and truly. So men construct our reality and they construct a system of lies and half-truths to support female hetersexuality as being natural. There is a lot of evidence to the contrary, however, which I’m not going to discuss in this post. I will say I’ve been reading some of the scientific literature that clearly demonstrates that despite how women define themselves, the vast majority have sexual reactions to females (google it yourself). There is plenty of work to be done there – I still think you can program sexual reactions to anything (basic learning theory in action), which is constantly evidenced in the development of weird sexual fetishes, and I’d argue that women are trained from birth to react sexually to males and violence. The sexual reactions to women that scientists see are likely a mix of natural proclivity and the result of a constant bombardment of female sexualization coupled with the modern day rewarding of female compliance with male sexual fantasies.
But let’s get to bisexuality***. If you try to look up this term/category, most human rightsy sexuality web sites will try to turn it into some long, drawn out definition, almost as if trying to set these folks up for some uber-victim status with a little mystery and sexay-ness thrown in for good measure. “Look at us. We are so hard to define. We break all the sexual molds. No one understands us and we suffer from so much prejudice and bigotry. The alphabet soup acronym should START with B, although in public, we’ll say T is most important… Whine, whine, blah, blah, blah, I want to look at tits while I suck this dick, goober goober.” And it’s usually women who are the whiniest about this oppressed bi status, and there is a good and legitimate basis for that (not the whining, but the sex bias), which I’ll get into later. But bisexual people are a perfect example supporting the theory I have that the loudest victims and victim-groups tend to be non-victims or comparative non-victims with a lot of power (economic, legal, etc.) and free time. Other examples of loud non-victims also include male trannies, rich white males, rich black males, males in general, the religious right in any country, etc., etc.
***[And note that I am writing this from the perspective of a woman who for most of her early adult life used the category ‘bisexual’ privately, and sometimes publicly, until I accepted the fact that I’m not sexually attracted to men. I’ve never been ‘heterosexual’, so I can’t understand what that is like. If I am forced to ‘identify’, I use the terms ‘lesbian’ or ‘gay’. I have found that many people, even those who define sexuality very simply in terms of sexual attraction, still can’t resist injecting their definition with political and social implications. I think you can’t get away from that in this world, and as a result, no definition can adequately describe what women likely are born to be, naturally.]
For an easy definition of bisexuality, just think ‘bi’ = two and sex = attraction to. Many seem to include actual sexual engagement in this definition, probably because it is so much easier to offer up as proof of a sexuality. Attraction is hard to measure unless you hook someone up to a machine. So according to today’s definition, bisexuals basically are interested in and get it on with both males and females. There is some talk of ‘pansexuality’, but this is a bullshit made-up liberal term based on the idea that there are more than two sexes – WHICH THERE ARE NOT.
Male Bisexuals
A quick word about bisexual men. Nothing about this surprises me. As I said above, I believe males are born omnisexual, which simply means that men get turned on by and will penetrate anything and everything unless something or someone stops them. The only reason most males (publicly) gravitate towards heterosexual designations is because of 1) woman-hate; 2) innate power and control issues; and 3) servitude/extra perks. First, the idea of ‘taking it’ like a woman (aka being penetrated) is an insult because men hate women, so being gay or bi means you are like a woman and that is unacceptable in all cultures because women are garbage. I’ve unfortunately spent a lot of time with men from different cultures, and I can tell you that even the most adamant of straight males from both liberal and very conservative places are curious about and even obsessed with anal sex, although most will insist that their own buttholes are off limits. I suspect that to most men, for a woman, a hole is a hole is a hole, so a female’s anus and vagina are just things to be filled by men. So they can see see themselves as heterosexual while still engaging in what is seen by the world as a ‘gay’ act.
The second part – power and control – is more complicated. Men like easy victims who won’t fight back or rat them out. Inanimate objects are ideal for male masturbation, but men don’t get the satisfaction of controlling or overpowering say, a sock or a hole in the wall or their kid’s stuffed toys. Animals give the sense of overpowering and control that men like, but they can fight back and hurt their rapist, and as well, men don’t get any servitude from them other than say, a dog fetching slippers. Children, like animals, are easy targets, can give the satisfaction of control and power over them, and while they usually won’t bite or fight like an animal, there is the possibility they might report the assault to a grown-up. And no servitude perks. But women? They make the perfect masturbatory devices for men: raping them allows men to enact their hatred of them upon their bodies and minds; they are controllable and over-powerable physically and mentally; they seldom report rape (and are not believed if they do report); and they are easily programmed from birth to accept slavery as desirable and the way things are supposed to be.
The third element of heterosexual gravitation in men is that women will also provide cleaning services, baby factory services, emotional services, intellectual services and more – all making men’s lives easier and ensuring the greatest possible chance of male success in the world. So while men will screw all of the above in private, there is the most to be gained from publicly proclaiming hetero status. Bisexual men are slightly braver in that they are willing to admit they do men too, but they also get the status that owning a woman allows in all societies. But generally, it isn’t men who whine about bisexual prejudice as men never suffer as much as women, regardless of the bias involved.
Female Bisexuals
I’m going to come out and say this as bluntly as possible, and it will be offensive to some and that is more than perfectly fine. There is no such thing as a truly bisexual woman. Omnisexual men, yes – I’ve explained this already. But I don’t believe women are naturally wired to want men. I believe female heterosexuality is nearly 100% constructed / programmed / conditioned (pick your term). So bisexuality doesn’t make sense either, especially given that pretty much all bisexual women mostly latch on to men (I remember some feminist I read quoted a study that the typical bi-female sexual stable constists primarily of men. And I believe that that is standard hetero brainwashing kicking in rather than anything natural, as materially, there is so much more to gain from being male property than to have an equal relationship with a woman.) I also think there are a few kinds of bisexual women, and I’ll discuss two primary categories.
- Brainwashed women whose hetero programming didn’t work perfectly
So as was mentioned, most bisexual women have more male partners than female ones, and usually end up having a primary or significant-other relationship with a man. Women are usually ‘side dishes’ that don’t provided the economic, legal, and social perks that relationships with men do, but that provide emotional and sexual satisfaction that is missing from the typical hetero relationship. Bisexual women are, somewhat understandably in our rape culture, generally massive cowards who will hide behind hetero life when it suits them (e.g., to avoid sexual or physical danger, to get jobs, to have a higher standard of living, to appear ‘normal’ in social situations, etc.) and trot it out when they want to look cool or liberal or advanced or open-minded or ‘above’ heteronormativity (even though they are still exceptionally heternormative themselves, ironically). Or just to temporarily satisfy their natural attraction to women.
2. Brainwashed women who use other women to pick up men and get hetero cookies
Bisexual men don’t make out with each other to pick up women, but ‘bisexual’ women often try to pick up men this way. Do you not find this curious? If you are a hetero or bi woman reading this, do a little self-examination at this point. Do you regularly watch gay male porn? Do you regularly masturbate while imagining dudes fucking each other? Do you get off on the idea of inserting yourself into a gay male sex scenario and announcing that your pussy is there and things can actually get started now? If you say yes, you are a liar and are likely being contrary on purpose. Women – hetero, bi or lesbian – do not cream their shorts at the idea of infiltrating a cock party. And gay men aren’t sitting around wishing for some pussy to spice up their sex lives. So why do so many bisexual women feel the need to put on a show for men?
Well, first there is no bisexuality going on there. These are thoroughly programmed hetero women who are just trying to please men in the only way they know how. I wonder to myself whether these women actually enjoy what is going on. I really think that most women don’t fully experience what they are doing or analyze what’s going on. I think most women’s brains are trained to see themselves through men’s eyes.
Oh, in case you are wondering, when I called myself bisexual back in my early ears, I fell into category 1. However, I know I was less successfully brainwashed than the average woman, as I woke up relatively easily, I think, and realized that I hated men on a fundamental and very natural or primal level. The in-depth self examination I had to do in order to deprogram myself was painful and is ongoing. It’s interesting to realize that all my childhood crushes and attraction (I hesitate to say sexual) experiences were with other girls. I see the time I spent dating both males and females as an experimental phase, much like I’ve experimented with drugs, and eaten things like calf’s brains and dog, but of course, much more complex and psychologically fucked up. After I started training myself to live in my own body and mind and to experience things from my own perspective, it was overwhelming to realize that I saw myself, went through experiences, and even had dreams through male eyes. Being back in your body and mind is a really disarming thing at first. It affects everything you do, but you realize that hetero sex, (aka intercourse, aka rape) is a horrible thing to endure, absolutely pointless from a woman’s point of view, and more than that – extremely dangerous to your body and mind. You look back on what you did in the past, even in the name of experimentation, and it is hard to understand how you participated, if you can call it that. I think you have to dissociate as well as outsource your validation needs in order to allow males to use your body and to keep going back for more. This is a longer discussion, but the point I’m trying to make here is that bisexuality is just another male construction, or possibly even a female construction, that allows one to follow one’s natural tendencies a little while still remaining acceptable to patriarchal society.
A Few Major Bisexual Complaints
Bisexuals have a LOT of complaints. I’ve read a lot of bi commentary, and I don’t understand most of these complaints, even having spent many years as a bisexual. I’ll address a few here.
1) We don’t fit in anywhere. Heteros hate us and gays/lesbians reject us.
Any prejudice you experience is because of woman hate. The heteros hate you because you are not upholding patriarchy – you males are not raping women enough, and you women are not being raped enough. Gays and lesbians might reject you because of your hetero privilege, which you still have because most of the time you are being hetero. Lesbians especially, who live at the bottom of the human shit heap, are not interested in having male diseases passed to them by careless bisexual women, nor are they interested in investing in someone who will fuck them and then prance off when she has a chance at an economically attractive and socially acceptable hetero lifestyle opportunity if (when) it comes along (especially if said bi wants to breed). It is not possible for a powerless and ubiquitously hated group (lesbians) to have any kind of power over you or dictate your freedom in the world. It amazes me how many self-indulgent articles there are on bisexuals blaming lesbians for everything wrong in their lives. You may experience bias rooted in woman-hate, but you also perpetuate it. Self-examination needed.
2) People tell us we don’t exist.
Remind you of anything? The trans pull the same shit. Nobody is denying your existence. You are human, you exist, and you can believe whatever the hell you want. I am likely one of very few people who will say that I don’t believe that bisexuality is a thing. Males yes (although, like I said, I call it omnisexuality). Women aren’t wired to put their bodies at risk or enslave themselves. Sorry.
Do you deserve more attention in the LG-alphabet group? If so, why? You have the best of both worlds, really. You get to CHOOSE what and who you do. Gays and lesbians who are committed to a publicly displayed sexuality are so much worse off than you and are more based in reality (and less whiny) than the bisexual community. While gays and lesbians might be able to pass in hetero society based on appearance, they certainly can’t pass socially unless they show up solo to events or never, ever speak about their personal lives. So, in my opinion, I wouldn’t include you in the gay-lesbian activist groups, just as I would exclude the trannies and the queer, Hitler-youth brigade and any other post-modernist bullshit “I’m different! Look at me!’ groups. Make your own fucking group. And stop trying to force lesbians to accept you. Nobody should be forced to fuck you. That is called rape. (Hint, this applies to trannies too, who keep trying to force lesbians to be with them.) No one owes you a fuck in order to validate your claims of specialness or outsiderness.
3) People assume we are pedophiles
This one is legit, but like with the most valid complaints, the reason they happen is because of woman-hate and the anti-gay sentiments that exist everywhere. You aren’t assumed to be a pedophile because you are bisexual. So-called straight men, who comprise the vast majority of pedophiles in the world, are never assumed to be so. Gay men are. Lesbians get this too, to a certain extent. In reality, there are very few true female pedophiles. The same 1-2 weird incarcerated female high school teachers with teen boy student lover docu-dramas, coupled with tons of television sitcom episodes focusing on this topic are covered to death to promote the idea that women are equally likely to be pedophiles as men. Not even close to being true. This is a whole nuther topic. But suffice it to say that if you are lesbian or a female bisexual, you may experience fear on the part of women with children. Not so much by men – men will sexualize you for THEIR sexual purposes rather than assume you are going to attack children. Myself, I experienced this with my sister when I confided in her that I was bisexual in my mid-20’s. She had a 4-year-old daughter at the time, and after my quiet announcement, she never let me be in a room alone with my neice ever again. I’ll repeat that it was not the bisexuality that was the problem in my sister’s mind, but the lesbian part of it which was the motivator for the irrational and hateful reaction.
Conclusion here. Bisexuals can be very touchy and defensive. And loud, if they are ‘out’. Like the trans. Much more so than you ever experience with gays and lesbians. While the latter tend to be much more secure in their sexuality once they’ve chosen to come out, bisexuals’ reactivity is more likely to be a product of a constructed victimhood, hard-to-pin-down identity, and comparative privilege (I hate that word, but I don’t have a better one right now) over actual victimized groups. Their predation within oppressed groups (i.e., trying to force lesbians to want them sexually) likely creates a little cognitive dissonance concerning whether they are more victim or predator or both.
Anyhow, like with the whole silly, but scary, trannie movement, I wish this one didn’t take up so much retail space…
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This One’ll Be Different
If you want to be a good and effective feminist (jeez, I really need to let go of that word, as it is meaningless today), you have to let go of making exceptions for men. We women are trained from birth to forgive males all their trespasses, give males the benefit of the doubt, give males second chances (and then third and then fourth, ad nauseum), teach males how to be human and allowing them to make their mistakes on our bodies; be patient with their neanderthal ways; keep our mouths shut when they inevitably trample our souls, bodies, and rights into the mud; defend all the shithead males in our lives when they hurt some woman (including us); and most importantly, beat the living shit out of outspoken women who point out male abuses and who demand that something be done.
It is tempting to allow them into our lives because the basic and superficial benefits are manyfold. For most women, males allow a better standard of living than would be possible on one’s own as a woman. Males are also tapped into the Old Boy’s Network, and jobs can be had by orbiting this network as some males throw women a bone if they can’t think of a male who would be suited for the job. Males may also provide services such as moving heavy shit, fixing electronics or toilets (which women are fully capable of learning how to do themselves, by the way), intimidating unwanted outsider male advances or exploitation (aka ‘protection services’), and a whole host of other jobs that males made up to pretend they are absofuckinglutely necessary in our world. So most women keep males around simply because they have created a system and set of beliefs where women don’t do as well without them. Note that women do better psychologically without men, however. That point is never pointed out in the heterosexual world.
One of the other things that makes males more attractive to keep around is the fact that women gravitate towards men and servicing them rather than cultivating serious female friendships. It gets lonely out there and even if you want female friendships, they are very, very hard to achieve, especially as you get older, if you are not in a traditional workplace or school, if you’re are not straight, and if you don’t have children. Some women might consider interacting with men simply to have people to sort of talk to (if it is possible to have an equal give-take conversation with a male. It’s not, imo.)
I wrestled with this very issue the other day. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am extremely socially isolated right now, despite living in a place where I have to share amenities. I barely socialize here, partly by choice and partly because nobody seems to be interested in the few middle-aged or older women living here. So recently, I got back into meetup dot com, which I had been using in the US before The Virus hit. There isn’t a heck of a lot going on for obvious reasons. I just joined a French convo group, although all meetings are online, which is less interesting. And I found a group specifically for people who deliberately don’t have kids. I contacted the organizer to ask whether they were holding any events. The organizer is a young male. We have a few similar interests, including language-learning. Upon writing back, he mentioned that people hadn’t showed much enthusiasm once The Virus was in full swing. And after some online back and forth about languages, he suggested that we could meet one-on-one for an outdoor coffee. I let a few days go by, my instincts, experience, and what I would consider a moral commitment to feminism (female separatism) wrestling with my need to speak to an actual human in person for more than a few minutes in a social context.
Here’s the thing. Males are soooo fucking hard to talk to, in general, once you’ve started deprogramming. Even the ‘nice’ or ‘smart’ ones can be so overbearing. I almost always feel soul-sucked, dominated, and that I have to spend so much more time listening than I get to contribute in the way that men feel they deserve to contribute. I reasoned with myself that it wasn’t worth it to risk being soul-sucked at a time when I am soul-hungry. And of course, sticking to the principles I’ve committed myself to as a female separatist is important. I know I am practically alone in this. Women sell out all time time and become collaborators in patriarchy and misogyny, and reason that they do what they do to ‘survive’ (most of which is usally absolute fucking bullshit, in my opinion). So I may suffer consequences in terms of brain atropy and potential connection-making in a town where I have no connections and barely speak to anyone, but I have to stick to my guns. For me. For women. For principles.
Long story short, after not responding to the invitation for a length of time bordering on rude, I slithered out of a coffee meeting with finesse and a believable excuse. I had learned from the best after all my years in China. The Chinese are expert excuse makers and contract-breakers, and constantly make excuses for not doing what they actually commit to. I think I’ll occasionally talk online with the group organizer about language and other innocuous things until the group feels safe in reconvening once more. Most of the group is actually female, which is inspiring and the only reason why I joined in the first place. One of the only good things about being in the West again is that you can actually meet women your age who are deliberate non-breeders. I didn’t meet a single adult non-breeder in China. They may exist, but they are rare.
Anyhow, before I devolve into an alcohol-fuelled rant about China, I’ll close with this: when it comes to males, it seems you have to weigh your pro-female principles against what you consider to be survival. On many levels, all males are the same – never forget that. The idea that ‘this one’ll be different’ is a fairytale we tell ourselves to justify the easy road we take. They will feed off you, even if it is subtle, and all benefits you think you are getting come at a cost. You make connections with them at your own risk. And of course, every single thing a woman does is political and affects the status and freedom of all other women. Collaborate with men, and you prevent anything from getting better for all women. Really simple, but hard to accept.
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A Is for Antagonism
Story Ending Never’s Alphabet Series is now on YouTube in audio form. Come get your dose of weird Canadian accent 😉 You can listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Happy new year. Does it feel like a new year? In many ways, no. This effing Virus is well into its second year now, and many of us are bored, depressed, not too hopeful, wondering when things will go back to normal, or whether we’ve got a new normal. Some of us are seriously isolated. Myself, I haven’t had an in-person conversation with another human that lasted longer than 5 minutes in months – I’ve noticed that people, especially women, seem to have a serious aversion to speaking to middle aged and older women. We’re invisible. But it’s more than that. It almost seems like there is a discomfort and dismissal on the part of those with whom you are trying to engage. It is hard to explain. Strangely, everyone seems to want to engage with weird men of any age, even when they stink to high heaven, are narcissistic, talk too much or too loudly, are offensive, and add whatever you want to the list. Seriously. I just can’t understand why it is more attractive to talk to some repulsive, self-centred pervball, but not to a friendly female who isn’t gaming to rape you or suck your energy with unbridled egomania and scrotal tall tales of imagined accomplishments and prowess.
In addition, I’m finding it really hard to catch the eye of fellow sisters while out for a walk on the street or walking trails – something I usually try to do no matter where in the world I am. I get the distinct impression that there is this bizarre notion that connecting with fellow humans, even just through eye contact, somehow puts you at risk for contracting The Virus. I used to live in the place where I currently am, and it’s not an unfriendly place, generally. But it feels very different here than it used to. Paranoid. And no longer a community. Selective disconnect.
Anyhow, I’m totally off track, but my excuse is that it is my first post of the new year, so some preamble was warranted. I wanted to kick off an hommage – or perhaps I should say femmage, as I love franglais and neologisms, both – to Sue Grafton and her Alphabet series. Years ago, I fell in love with Kinsey Millhone, private detective, with her minimalistic lifestyle, low income, and creative tiny house living space. Her only fault was her constructed and frankly unbelievable heterosexuality – she really never came across as anything but asexual or lesbian to me, but luckily, you could just flip a few pages to skip over the luckily sparse sexual content (thank you 1980’s – it would be a different story today à la 50 shades of shit).
We’ll see how far I get. I’m kicking it off with A is for Antagonism. There is no recurring character, and this isn’t a novel. And jeez, there is no mystery in what I write, despite the fact that most women just don’t seem to be able to figure out why men do what they do and why they themselves just can’t stop spreading their legs for them. Mystery is not the same thing as willing ignorance and cognitive dissonance, let me tell you. Open your eyes to reality and the privilege you orbit is no longer possible. Case closed!
Now before I get into it, there are tons of A-words I could have chosen here. A is for asshole, assault, aggression, arrogance, affirmative action, ‘alleged’, abortion, and more. But I chose antagonism, a highy underappreciated word.
So let’s go. Very simply put, antagonism is active hostility or opposition. Think of someone who seems deliberately to disagree with everything you say, or someone who pokes at you, saying provocative things that seem deliberately geared towards riling you up or getting some sort of reaction (anger, tears, defensiveness, etc) out of you. Interestingly, in literature, the ‘antagonist’ is typically seen as a villain, nemesis or chief opposition to the hero of the story, designed to cause problems or allow for a plot to exist at all.
I want to talk about antagonism in two specific, but not necessarily unrelated, categories: Male communication styles and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
- Male Communication Styles
Let me draw from one of my ESL lectures on language and communication – I tell all my students that the purpose of language is to try to get what we want or need. It is one of human’s most basic and useful tools. If you don’t communicate, you don’t get what you need, from trying to find food or a toilet in a new place to trying to get a job. Now, to understand how males typically use this tool outside of toilets or getting directions, let’s cover a few truths. a) Males are both wired and socialized to believe that they deserve. Everything and anything they need or want becomes crucial and deserved. b) Males are also wired and socialized to be aggressive, so getting what they believe they deserve is best achieved through aggression of one form or another. c) Most males realize on some level that they aren’t important, have less to offer the world than females, and could be done away with without serious repurcussions in the long run (obsolescence). Most males can’t articulate that, but they know it on some lizard brain level and use aggression and a focus on ‘deserving’ to cover up their biological inadequacies.
But back to language. All of the above factor into the way males often communicate, especially with females they see as threats to their fragile egos in an attempt to prove that they are important, and better, and deserving, and not obsolete. An aggressive communication style is often used on perceived superior women (e.g., intelligent, educated, non-naive, older, uninterested, extremely attractive, and/or sexually unavailable women) and is usually manifested as antagonism. Now, some men use antagonism as a bizarre, but often effective (why? ask a hetero chick, cuz I don’t get it…) means of flirting. But antagonism is most often used by men as an attempt to disarm women, to steal their energy, and to divert their laser focus away from the inadequacies and flimsy lies and exaggerations of said male. Men will question and/or disagree with and/or dissect every statement a woman makes in a conversation. He will pick apart decisions she has made and is describing to him, and criticize everything about it in an attempt to make her defend herself or even fall apart. He will goad her to prove every detail she states, often expecting citations of studies or data. He will often ask her to recite lists of things to prove the extent of her knowledge on a subject and pounce on any error she makes as proof of her inadequacy, even a subject on the outskirts of the topic of conversation.
As I look back, I have have had sooooo many interactions of this sort with males through my life. Now, I’m not surprised – I am often a threat to men as I am smart, educated, well trained in pscyhology, sexually unavailable, I see through bullshit easily, and if I am feeling brave and devil may care, I can give better mindfuckery than I get. I am a massive threat to all insecure men who think they deserve and are used to most women giving them literal or figurative blowjobs for existing. Interestingly, the abusive male living in the house I was renting in when I first moved back to Canada spoke to all the women in the house using this style. I remember one specific conversation involving him, myself, and one of the cock-whipped hetero women, where the male kept picking at the latter over something she did that she was telling us about. She accused him of being jealous, but I countered with an accusation of being antagonistic. Only a month or two later, after he started making threats against my physical safety did I start putting the whole shebang together – which brings me to my second category of antagonist.
2. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
It’s important to note that while many males employ antagonistic communication styles with women, most of these guys do not have NPD. Antagonism can just be a way that males deal with their usually subconscious awareness of their inadequacy and obsolescence as males. Also, note that narcissism and NPD are not the same. You can be a narcissist (very self-centred, vain, selfish) without a personality disorder (ingrained personality pattern that disrupts your day-to-day functioning and relationships). Both males and females can have NPD and thus can be antagonistic, but there are almost double the number of male NPDs than females (likely more because we accept narcissism and abusive behaviour in males and thus may not suspect that a male is anything but normal), which makes sense if you understand the disorder and the biological reality of males. As an aside, published research shows that young people, males, blacks, and, to a lesser extent, other minorities have higher prevalence of lifetime NPD than do older people, females, and non-Hispanic whites. You can google all that if you are interested – myself, I’m not getting into the whys and implications of race or age relationships with narcissistic disorders here – my focus is, as always, on male bullshit and how it affects women and girls. I have a great deal of personal experience with NPD family members, and what I will say is that the abuse they dish out is worse and more damaging to the core self than physical abuse. Most survivors of narcissistic and physical abuse will also tell you that. I’ll write more about my NPD experience in another post.
Antagonism is a chief trait of narcissists, and specifically, those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The arrogance, constant arguing, and pathological need to exploit people are warning signs that you are dealing with a very dangerous and destructive person with a problem that is likely never, ever, ever going to change no matter how much you try to help them.
Conclusion
Regardless of whether you are dealing with a weak ass male with ego problems or a true blue NPD, my advice is to get away as soon as you can. If you are stuck in a relationship (family, work situation) with them, you have a decision to make: develop strategies that will allow you to reduce the effects of antagonistic attacks (or avoid them as much as you can), or get the hell out. I always do the latter, but it comes at a very high cost. Worth it to me, but you have to weigh your options according to your own needs.
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Happy and Safe Christmas Greetings
Trust me, I have more heady stuff in the works, but I wanted to send out a short message to all women on this Christmas Eve. I don’t normally send Christmas greetings, but I’m working through my complicated feelings about the holiday. Mother made it miserable in childhood with her covert narcissism and materialism. Father destroyed any cultural enjoyment in early adulthood as over-compensation for and white guilt over existing in predominantly British Canada, with British traditions, when he married a Jewish woman. And then it has been years of aloneness at a time that is expressly devoted to families, coupled with living for years and years in a non-Christmas culture (Asia). Normally, I was working on Christmas Day. I didn’t have to think about it.
Last Christmas, I was in the US, abandoned by all housemates and thus alone. This year, I’m in Canada in my weird, asocial hostel situation. Interestingly, most of the people sending me greetings are my Chinese friends and former students, the sweethearts. But I acknowledge that despite my aloneness and mild loneliness, AT LEAST there are no male abusers ruining everything. But I divide my thinking as follows:
a) it is okay to observe cultural rituals as an atheist, and Christmas is as much a cultural holiday as it is a religious one. Christmas is Pagan in its origins, taken over by Christians, bastardized by capitalists, but there is this really nice cultural aspect of the holiday that non-capitalistic, history-enjoying atheists can revel in or at least observe with appreciation. I’m in the long process of healing from the Christmas mangling of narcissistic parents as well as white liberal race- and culture-shaming, and finding my own associations to the holiday. It is interesting. And welcome. I’m sick of being part of the only cultural group on the planet pressured to deny my culture.
b) Equally importantly, I think about all the women and girls in forced family situations, especially during this weird COVID time, doing most of the work, engaging in unwelcome interactions, stuck for days with unlikeables and keeping a brave face. Holidays can be tense and stressful at the best of times for many people as one deals with rituals that are forced rather than cherished, and coupled with drinking, it is not always a fun time. Myself, I removed myself early on from family abuses, but not all people are willing to take such drastic steps to preserve mental health because it is hard to weigh which will end up being worse – being completely alone, isolated, silent and unwanted; or being abused, but belonging to a group. What a choice, huh?
Anyhow, I’ll end this by wishing you all a Merry Christmas and hoping you get through the holiday safely and remembering that any gaslighting or manipulation or general nastiness you may be exposed to by toxic family members is not about you at all.
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Why Am I More Balanced Without Men?
Oh, the lie that is gender. Before I start, let me get this out of the way. Men and women as sexes are biologically different. There cannot be a concept of ‘equality’ between males and females simply because we are biologically, sexually different. And let me clear that up. You’ll already know what I’m going to say if you’ve read further on this blog.
First, gender is a sociological construct that creates forced, FALSE differences between males and females with the sole purpose of keeping men in power and women’s necks under men’s boots and mindlessly devoted to (enslaved by) them. That is it. The modern idea of replacing the meaningful, factual designation of SEX with gender is nefarious and intentionally done to hurt women and girls. Period. It is part of the po-mo, liberal and trannie movements over the past few decades, with very harmful results.
Second, that males and females are biologically different means something different than the intention of purposeful differentiation of males and females using gender. When I (and all scientific, brain-using people) say that males and females are different, we are not saying (unlike the gender users) that males are superior or that males and females are complementary beings with skill sets that fit together like a puzzle even though ‘female’ traits are still less valued and inferior to males’. No. What I mean is that biologically, males are born with destructive, sadistic, violent tendencies. Biologically, females are not. There are exceptions (like in every fucking evidence-based theory in history). But thousands of years of factual evidence that males commit almost all of the violent, murderous, torture-for-pleasure-based acts in every corner of the earth makes a few exceptions completely irrelevant. What are NOT sex-based differences are valued and undervalued skills. Males and females are born with equally distributed potential for skill development (meaning that math or engineering are not inborn male skills, and childcare and cleaning are not inborn female skills). I do think that some personality traits are more inherent in women, such as empathy and both patient detail and big picture thinking capabilities, and other traits are more common in men, such as psychopathy and limited range, but deep and violent emotionality. And for this reason, women are more likely to accept abuse without violent retaliation, and men are more likely to act violently for little to no reason at all. And also for these biological reasons, women remain under the control of men and men rape, kill, and just generally destroy with impunity and without a second thought as to what they have done. Ha, unless they are caught, and oh the crocodile tears and fake remorse.
But let me get to the question in my title. I’ve probably already indirectly answered it in the previous paragraphs. But I’ll spell it out.
I can’t tell you how many women (never mind the men) who buy into this idea of males and females complementing each other, and thus seeing ‘evidence’ (not evidence in the real sense, but as defined by religion or patriarchal mythology) that males and females need to partner and work together, of course, with females subordinating themselves with their necessary, but inferior skills. I remember, in particular, this horrific conversation I had in China years ago with two brilliant, talented women, one older Chinese and one younger Russian. And both of them, despite their amazingness, firmly believed that women couldn’t do so many of the skills that men could do, especially math. I bristled. I was always top of my class in math, and one of my masters degrees is in a quantitative, statistics-heavy field. But man-fucking as a female requires this kind of brain-dead assessment and self-denigration and belief in incompleteness, I remembered.
I also remembered my days of cowardly bisexuality. The misery of it, feeling my wings clipped, forced into a cage of self-limitation and pretending that the male in my life wasn’t half of what I was a person intellectually, emotionally, and in terms of learning and skills achieved. I remembered the freeing feeling I always had when the relationship inevitably ended after some particularly misogynistic event, like when he ended up raping me, shaming me, taking me for granted, or threatening me. Being alone, single, I realized that I had everything I needed in myself. I was balanced, able to do what I needed. A male was the anchor manacled to my ankle dragging me underwater (I know, I know, I am mixing a bunch of metaphors throughout this post). In essence, ending the hetero prison made me soar in many ways.
Men don’t build you up. They don’t have inherent skills that are barred to you as a woman. You bar yourself from being whole when you choose males. They might initially give you a false sense of being essential in some incomprehensible, womanly way. But over time, you’ll feel the drag. You are no longer soaring through air or across water (pick your metaphor). You are sinking, and fucking exhausted, and wondering why.
You don’t have to be a full-on lesbian to be free. Celibacy or asexuality work as well. You just have to let go of this idea than you need a man to complete you. You are complete when you enter this world. A whole being just from being born female.
Men can’t say that. In fact, they tell us the truth about themselves in so many ways every single day. Hence the need to control us and use us for our innate wholeness, innate balance. They are the incomplete, unbalanced ones, and parasitical at that.
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An Evening Muse on Western Misogyny, Poverty, and Such
I have to admit I’m a little down lately. Despite being a person who expects little from people, situations, and life in general, I’ve managed to become disappointed and once again worn down by life in North America. If you’ve never read further on this site, the context for this comment is this: I frequently live and work abroad; I left a nearly decade-long stint in China at the end of July 2019; I spent a year in the US studying and trying to navigate a possible career change; and then the Virus hit, all my plans went to hell, and I was forced to return to my homeland – Canada – a country I thought I might never return to again other than to visit.
China is a really racist, sexist, and chaotic, but uber-controlled country. It was hard. But I adapted. I was employed, I cultivated a small, but excellent group of local friends, and equally important, I had an apartment that was all mine despite being black moldy and not very cosy. I’ve spent most of my adult life living alone, and I’ve come to see it as a luxury, even when my space is not optimal. I just don’t like living with people. And I especially don’t like living in places where I have no control over who else is living there.
The year in the US was pretty brutal in a lot of ways. First the culture shock – not sure if that is the right word – was kind of surprising. I think in the year and a half since leaving Asia, I’ve realized that if I am going to be an outcast, I need to be a full-on outcast that has no hope or expectation (by self or others) of ever fitting in. Even more than in early adulthood, I just don’t think I can fit into regular society here – and that seems like a simple and precious thing to say, but it is really complicated in a way that you will never understand unless you’ve lived outside your country for years and years at a time.
The US also showed me that women don’t have it better in the West. We are constantly battered with the idea that “women are equal now” and “Western (especially white) women are better off than all other women, so stfu.” But I have to tell you, no, the misogyny is just as bad here as anywhere else. It just looks different. And the less money you have, the worse it is. Because of the lifelong brainwashing, selective women’s history (if any) taught in public schools, and a general unwillingness to self-examine because it’s “too negative” or victimy, the majority of women just don’t see it. And I’d bet that in countries that Western women typically tsk tsk over, those women also don’t really see what they experience as anything other than “that’s life, the way it’s supposed to be”.
I had some good experiences during my year in the US. I was studying plants, for one. And then the Virus hit, which was actually a good thing in some ways – I was able to get some tuition money back after my male teachers decided they didn’t want to work anymore, and continued my plant education by myself outside the classroom by going on 5-10 mile hikes every day. But I spent way too much of my small, scrupulously accumulated savings on keeping wealthy people wealthy through overpriced accommodation. I also contracted a staph infection that has recurred 5 times, manifesting in massive, painful and disgusting abcesses. Antibiotics are NOT something one should be taking regularly, and I’ve had 4 hardcore rounds in less than a year. I swear, if you want to contract a brutal disease, go to the US, not a Third World country. But possibly tied for worst – I haven’t lived alone since I left China – the bad part being that I have lived with some of the most horrible and abusive men and women I have ever met, and paid my hard-earned money for the privilege. Ouch. Once the Virus was in play, housing became even more insecure. I was terrified of being kicked out with literally nowhere to go if I contracted even a small cough. The crazy landlady I lived with during the first few months of the outbreak forced one of the other tenants out when she got a cold. It was stressful.
But you know, despite some pretty seriously shitty stuff going on while in the US, my spirits were good. It was not until I returned to Canada that I started to get depressed. This country is about poverty for me. I spent most of my Canada-side adult years living in poverty, and being back is no different. I have no contacts or references here. I’m an overeducated, middle-aged female and white – all of those working against me in a city with 11% unemployment and a government focused on making sure immigrants have jobs.
And I’m still living with people. And it has been all about male violence. I just moved from a shared house where an older male verbally attacked me and threatened to physically attack me because I wasn’t looking at or speaking to him correctly (we all know what that means – he wasn’t getting the deference and respect he thought he deserved). I just moved out of that house in the burbs to a downtown hostel that accepts month-to-month renters. I had stayed here when I first moved to this city for a job 20 years ago. But things seem to have gone downhill with increased poverty/income gaps and with the stress of the Virus. In a week’s time, there have been two major violent male episodes – luckily not with me. But they were terrifying. One – a verbal screaming match between staff and a male who (as usual) didn’t think he needed to follow the Virus rules mandated by the hostel. The second – a male did something the staff didn’t like and they refused to let him back into the building to go to his room. It was a long ordeal, poorly handled by the staff, that escalated until the male smashed the entire plexiglass wall going from lobby counter to ceiling, and smashed computers and various things on the check-in desk. No cops ever seem to be called here. I took the least expensive room. It is in a hallway beside the lobby. It is a tiny, tiny room with no window. There is an immense amount of noise 24/7 due to people traipsing by or accessing a bank of METAL lockers right beside my door at 2 or 4 in the morning. They are raising the rent significantly next month despite being down season for travellers. It does have a bit of a half-way house feel to it. Or even a homeless shelter (given the male violence and the creepy, listless air of some of the male guests), except that I am paying for the privilege.
As much as I wanted to move on from teaching English to unmotivated, cell-phone addicted students, I’m almost wishing the Virus were over so I could escape Canada, take another teaching job, and have a job and a small private living space away from men again.
Bottom line: the West is just as dangerous and stressful for women as it is in other parts of the world. The income gap and access to affordable and secure housing issues are as serious here as they are in many places. The less money you have as a woman, the more exposed you are to dangerous situations caused by males. And yet Western countries are more and more obsessed with racial diversity and less and less focused on the fact that women are the most at-risk group STILL and face more challenges economically than men of any race.
Let’s hope 2021 brings a better year for us and that we all make it there unhurt by the men around us.
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Small Children, the Mentally Deficient, and… Men
Likely, everyone is sick of hearing about The Virus and everything Virus-related. Just as I write this, it occurs to me that it has been on my personal radar since it hit China. I have so many contacts – friends, former students and former colleagues – back in China, that I was in frequent contact with during Chinese New Year – before it was a serious thought in the minds of most people in the rest of the world. Myself, I got hit with a brutal illness at the very end of December that lasted until the end of January, the cough even longer. At that time, everyone was talking about an unusually nasty flu season, but this was like no flu I had ever had. I’ve never had a cough accompany a flu before, and I’ve never had a fever and chills and debilitating weakness with a throat infection. But there was no testing in January, so who knows what the hell it was. But I caught it shortly after riding a Greyhound bus inbound from Seattle on its way to L.A. And there was one super sick dude on that bus who was coughing all over the rest of us on the bus…
Fast-forward 10 months. I’m safely harboured away in Canada on an island region of about a million people – we’ve had a total of about 200 cases since it all began. Pretty good. A significant number of those cases came from a single house party of drunken idiots, luckily in a small up-island community and not adjacent to the larger southern metropolis and thus pretty isolated. And this has been common around North America – drunken house parties and congregating in bars seems to be the number one way to get The Virus (also the number one way to get raped, if you’re female! And alcohol isn’t a dangerous drug…!) People are generally pretty hard-core about following protocols in my region. There is a large proportion of elderly people here, for one. Also, and this is significant, my province is taking direction from a smart, rational, and surprisingly well-liked female doctor. Leadership is key in managing crises, and it is always better to put a woman in charge. We are just better at strategy, planning, taking threats seriously, and reacting rationally and without brutality. And this is in evidence around the world and throughout time. Now if you want death, destruction and general mayhem, by all means, put a man in charge.
And speaking of men, just an anecdote. When I got out of quarantine following my arrival from the US, I immediately headed to the ferry terminal for my crossing to the islands. You are supposed to wear face masks on board and they are keeping car people in their cars and walk-on people have a limited run of the passenger area of the ferry. Sensible. Now, as I was watching people disembark from an arriving ferry, I heard the din of shrill male voices. Two men were having the following conversation:
Dudebro 1: Well, it was great to have met you, brah. I can’t tell you how great it is to meet a rare fellow free-thinker these days.
Dudebro 2: Yeah, man. You can tell the free-thinkers – we’re the ones not wearing masks, guffaw, guffaw.
Dudebro 1: Right on. Like the rest of the sheep... Goober goober, scrotal babble drifting away on the wind and out of earshot.
Men truly tickle themselves at how smart they think they are. Constantly self-labelling as ‘rational’, ‘logical’, ‘free-thinking’, and you name it. I mean, there is a shit ton of research out there showing how men, without fail, overestimate their abilities, competence, intelligence (and conversely, how women without fail, unless afflicted with a personality disorder such as narcissistic or antisocial PDs, underestimate their intelligence and abilities). So it follows that they are also deluded about their thinking style. Mistaking selfishness and stubbornness for free-thinking is just one of many examples.
Anyhow, it was just a reminder that while Canada is more level-headed as a country than many, including the US, there are still men there and they are just as stupid and arrogant as they are anywhere else in the world.
***[I guess I’ll put this little side note here. We are still in a place where no one is entirely certain of the entire host of behaviours that can lead to you becoming infected with The Virus. I am a supporter of scientific methodology, and I stand by science as a tool, even when men misuse it. Some women see male abuse of science as a sign of a bad tool, but that is not true. Men abuse ALL tools. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, or something like that. I think generally, wearing a mask in enclosed spaces around other people is a probably a good thing, as is washing your hands PROPERLY and regularly, and not putting your tongue down other people’s throats… So not following these basic protocols, is just kind of stupid and selfish – not free-thinking. We don’t have all pieces of the puzzle yet, but we’ll get there. Part of the problem is that some behaviours are required, but so many other behaviours that may be problematic are unregulated, so many people start to question authority and refuse to do anything.]***
But let’s get a little more local, and more to the topic of this post.
In my particular city, it has become mandatory to wear face masks on public buses, and there is limited seating. But there are people who are exempt from the mask thing. The transit authority has a blurb on their website outlining who doesn’t have to comply. It is very bizarre. Some of the people on the list include:
- Children under 5. Why don’t parents have to mask their toddlers? Kids tend to be disease super-spreaders as they touch everything and don’t tend to self-regulate coughing or where their drool or snot goes. I suppose this a breeder privilege thing…
- The mentally challenged. I don’t understand this one either. If a mentally retarded person can manage something so complex as riding a bus, then they can certainly figure out how to put a mask on.
- People with limited mobility. I’ve seen evidence of the first two on the bus, but I think most people who can’t really move either take a parabus option or just don’t travel by bus. If you can’t manage a mask, then taking a bus would be extraordinarily difficult.
- Emergency personnel responding to emergencies. Self-explanatory and hard to imagine – the bus isn’t typical transport for say, a paramedic on the job.
Now there is one other group of people who seem to be covered by the exemption, but they are not included in the list of the super-challenged. And in fact, I’ve seen more of these offenders than any others on the legit list. Wait for it… you know what I’m going to say!
MEN
Yeah, I’ve noticed an inordinate number of men – of any and all races – getting on the bus without a mask. Every time I ride the bus, there is at least one adult male without a mask. And these guys are mobile, not under 5, not emergency personnel, and not overtly retarded. And yet they saunter on and sit their in their scrotal privilege unmasked, while the rest of the Canadians use the only uncovered part of their faces to full effect, shooting them dirty looks (Canadians are super good at passive aggression!) And remember, like children, men tend to be super-spreaders of disease (which has been true throughout time).
Now, also in the transit regulations is a note that while mandatory, the mask rule is not enforceable. In other words, the bus drivers have not been tasked with getting into altercations with angry males who refuse to comply – because we all know that’s what would happen if you tried to encroach upon a free-thinking male’s sense of FREEDOM. I agree that bus drivers should not be put in more danger than they might already be in, having to deal with the large number of behaviourally unpredictable drug addicts we have here on the West Coast, but what is the point of a mandatory rule if it only applies to a minority of the population…?
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Misogyny in Academia: Nothing Has Changed
First, welcome to the douchebags from rationalwiki. Ladies, you know your feminist blog has made it when internet scrotal warriors with their self-proclaimed ‘rational minds’ (sorry, let me pause to laugh my ass off here, man-logic is anything but rational, but fuelled by emotional mantrums) have listed you as a ‘webshite’ and angry, privileged followers click on over to your site to become angrier. I’m sure between watching rape porn and eating the meals their mothers provide, they are raging online about how women have destroyed the world with their quest for human rights and not to be raped or to take the scourge of rape porn away. Nothing says ‘rational’ like not understanding the difference between rights and privilege. I won’t go on. Women will understand. Men never will (they don’t have to in this world). Only rational people will get it.
Anyhoo. I’m in the middle of escaping a violent male in a rental situation while unemployed (I talked about insecure housing for women in my last post). Luckily, but sadly, one of the other women in my house has been experiencing related terrorism and we finally ran into each other and shared our experience. We had thought we were alone and thus unable to be believed (he said, she said, he wins, she flees… or dies). The third woman in the house is straight, very male-identified, and will never get on board. She is one of those who is internet dating, currently has a male who is trying to access her twat, gets angry when she says no, and she is still hanging out with him and making excuses for him. You know this common, sad, but tedious, story. She will likely be raped in the near future, and she is in complete denial. There isn’t a straight woman on the planet who hasn’t experienced something along these lines, but most will never admit it because women are still expected to let men rape them and accept it as love and affection. And the excuses they make to have it all make sense… But long story short, the other woman and I have found places to live, and we teamed up and forced the landlord to let us out of our rental agreement. Seldom do women team up – as I’ve mentioned before, this is one reason we haven’t made much progress as a class in fighting our oppressors (see posts on the need for Old Girls Clubs in the professional sphere, female bonding in general, how intersectionality has destroyed the long lost feminist prime directive, and more). Nothing will happen to our abuser, and while we are lucky to escape, it is another example of women having to escape a space that should, by definition, be safe in order to survive. Women often have to leave secure housing and even jobs and school positions because of the threats of violence and actual violence that men pose and enact, while the men stay firmly and securely in place, untouchable, housing secure and careers skyrocketing without the competition that more competent women would normally present, and most important, without the fears that women live with daily at home, in public and in the workplace. I always wonder to myself how many women are destroyed professionally, economically and more because men threaten them. I’ve written a little about this before, and posit the need for danger pay for women in the workforce.
So we get to my topic. Academia. Now, interestingly, but unsurprisingly, educated women are some of the most hated women among feminists (partially addressed in my post on Isolating Women). You’d think that women would embrace and promote women moving into fields that could actually help the world and empower women. But no. I’ve read tons of posts and articles by or about academic women, and the sad comments sections that accompany them, where so-called feminists viciously attack academic feminists and women in general. Complicated stuff going on there. The attacks often fall along the lines of “this bitch has made it; why isn’t she doing more to help less fortunate women? Why is she capitulating?” And and think to myself, “why the fuck don’t you go attack some men? Yannow, the actual problems.” These self-proclaimed feminists have no idea what it takes to make it in academia as a woman. I’m tired of blue collar bullshit. And liberal bullshit. I’ve lived in multiple worlds – I class myself as ‘educated poor’ – and instead of hating other work classes, I suggest embracing women and fighting the men who keep archaic systems in place. It’s simple, logically, but you have to let go of lady-hate to do it… Anyhow, the women they are attacking are likely 10 times as competent as the men they share departments with, are paid less, are less likely to be promoted, are often forced into non-career-advancing busy work like planning parties, and taking on advising roles that would never be forced on men; are often sexually harassed, threatened and so on; and they are usually completely isolated from normal professional goings-on (especially with female colleagues), unless they support the male party line. To put forth a strong feminist agenda, even in a ‘Gender’ Studies department (the name change says it all – welcome to women’s non-rights in the 21st century) will destroy your career. I watched it happen in my own department in the US when I was a grad student. A committed single (sort of asexual, although not labelled) female professor, top of her field, prominent in the media, well-published and cited, yet treated like shit in our department dared to complain about sexual bias. She ended up blacklisted from academia and had to go to the private sector. Meanwhile, the male professor who would play with his crotch while lesbian grad students met with him in his office, and who threw away a week of lectures in our hardcore stats class because he couldn’t figure out what he was doing, is a full professor now. Untouchable. Further, all the non-white male lecturers got tenure; none of the females did while I was a grad student there. Well, one black woman – no white women nor the one aboriginal woman was promoted. Myself, I had the highest teaching rating of all the grad students. I was in line to receive a prestigious teaching award, but the female prof on the awards committee told me that they were going to give it to an Asian male with lower ratings. She said, “he needed it”. And I didn’t? Why did he need it more than me? He didn’t end up in a teaching career. I did. I needed that award. He is making 6 figures. I am unemployed. And I seldom earn above minimum wage, and that’s when people aren’t trying to force me into volunteer work or work-stay exchange situations (which are more likely to be forced on white women than anyone else, since we are all supposed to be the supported playthings of rich white males with time on our hands, right?)
But this was the 1990’s. Surely things have changed, right? Millennials and Gen Z’s I meet keep telling me that women are EQUAL now. They don’t face misogyny in universities, of course! Could it be? Have things changed radically?
Well, I spent a year in the American college system as a student during this past year, and no, things are not equal. Not in the slightest. Almost all the full professorships are still held by men. Women are taken on board on a casual lecturer basis, most often. I looked up the salaries at the public colleges I attended. One of my male teachers was making over $130,000 per year. He showed films all the time, frequently cancelled class, and I remember we had a quiz in class one day, and he announced gleefully, “Nap time!” Working hard, earning his pay! I had two stellar female teachers, highly committed to students, put in extra work, stayed after class, etc. My favourite, had a listed salary of $19,000 despite extensive expertise in her field. Never once yelled “Nap time!” for herself when we had tests. The other was teaching a double load at the College and University because she couldn’t get hired as full-time staff and had to make ends meet.
Canada is no better. No way. I’m currently exploring a possible PhD program as my two Masters degrees have been the worst professional decisions for my career possible, besides deciding to work in China. I would never recommend a terminal Masters to any woman unless she is already in a job that requires it for her to advance. As it is, I’m too educated for lower level jobs (I’m a risk because I’ll leave once I see something better!), but I’m not educated enough for the jobs I’m intellectually capable of. I also have a weird resume – my education doesn’t match my vast, but colourful, job experience, so that is seen as a risk too. (why aren’t I specialized or in management???) So I’m looking at PhDs as a possible option in these turbulent times. I’ve found a perfect program in Canada, and I’ve explored the faculty members thoroughly. Now as we all know, the current political climate is focused on forced diversity. What does that mean? Well, it means ensuring that non-white people populate the higher echelons, even if it doesn’t accurately reflect the local community. And this agenda has been successful all over North America. This department I’m looking at is mostly non-white, despite being located in a province that is over 90% white (try forcing diversity in any non-Western country and see how that works…).
Now what is blatant, but will never be addressed, is that there are no female core faculty members. I think there are one or two adjunct female lecturers. And it’s not a Physics department where you would expect that kind of misogyny. So I’m thinking to myself – what has been solved here? Why are Millennials and Gen Z’s so fucking deluded? This department is operating in a mainly white community where over half the population is female (the latter being normal in all corners of the world, of course). And they’ve populated their departments with foreign, non-white males, although white males are also present as they always are. And there is a huge immigration drive here. I agree with having foreign faculty in all countries – definitely! you need international expertise to boost your research agenda and perspectives – but I also believe you need to solve your problems at home first. And the problem that needs to be addressed EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD is this: woman are not represented. And it’s not for lack of intelligence, experience or education. Most of our undergraduate students are female. The majority of grad students are female in a growing number of departments. But conversely, in most departments, all or almost all of the tenured faculty are male (of multiple races). And no, the problem is not that women are just starting to get PhDs in 2020. Try decades of increasing numbers of female PhD graduates. So, something else is going on that keeps women out of jobs fitting their education and that pays them for the 8-12 years of post-secondary education they sweated through while living at poverty levels. Where is the drive to allow women into the halls of intellect, of power? How can we effect change when female students don’t see a place for themselves in academic institutions? Let’s stop taking tuition money from women and girls while not allowing them a chance to find economic freedom and influence in policy, research, and the realm of discovery. Everyone is happy to take our money, but we are still denied power. Education is, first and foremost, a tool, not a hobby for women.
Part of the problem in many Western countries with predominantly white populations is that in the drive for racial diversity, white women have been lumped in with white males. And established white workers are almost always male. White female jobs are ‘last in, first cut’. And if those jobs open up, white women are not usually considered ‘diversity hires’ even though they are vastly underrepresented and always have been. See, men only share with us when they are trying to shove some of the responsibility for problems (i.e., racism) onto someone else or to find a scapegoat to blame or punish. White women have never had a kick at the can of power. We have fought harder than most women to achieve rights, but are not actually benefiting our own selves from this hard work despite what non-white women say. We are still underrepresented in all areas of power, including academia, even when we are a majority in the local population. Yet we are told over and over that our ‘white privilege’, which actually is ‘white male privilege’, is unjust. Politically, in the West, it has gone this way: white men have dominated forever. They still dominate, but are slowly on the way out. (And they fucking hate it!) Diversity is the buzzword of the day. So the bottom line is: if a job is going to be a special population hire, white women, who are underprivileged, are ‘white’ and thus left out. We’ve never had our time and never will, in other words.
So is it worth it for me to even try? I’m already an undesirable because I’m middle aged. Second most invisible time in a woman’s life except old age. And men have hurt my career prospects so many times. I’ve been pinched, talked down to/mansplained to, micromanaged (among other psychological techniques used to push women out), sexually harassed, forced into lady-busy-work, passed over for awards and promotions and recognition, given heavier workloads than male counterparts, and threatened by colleagues and bosses and advisors. I’ve often had to leave. Fear. Frustration. Stagnation. Men don’t experience this, can’t understand this, and downplay or dismiss it as crazy talk if you even bother to explain. I don’t get the sense that anything has changed for the better for my demographic, even though I’m told over and over that women, in general, are equal now, and that white women, specifically, have all the power. Where is this actually reflected? I don’t see it. And trust me, I am looking hard.
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A Dangerous Woman
When you write about feminist (and I really mean female separatist) issues, you know you are writing about truth, the subjective truths of individual women and the objective truth that is living as a woman in a male-dominated society. Sometimes, you are writing about things that happened to you or other women in the past. Sometimes, you are writing about current events. Sometimes, you are writing about theories, fantasies, and things that could be possible or are definitely not possible in the world as it exists.
When you are out in the real world, you have a mask on. You can’t really talk about what you write or experience or observe. You’ll be gaslit by all men, and the vast majority of straight women. You’ll be verbally and maybe physically attacked. You’ll lose opportunities for jobs, social connections and other things you need to survive. You are a ‘dangerous’ woman, despite how vulnerable you feel. It is possible to be dangerous and vulnerable at the same time. But here’s the thing, the danger you pose is not a real danger like the danger that all men pose to women and girls. It is a perceived danger, and only ideological at that. When you question the status quo – that males run the show and women and girls exist in a state of subservience and suffering at the whim of males – or if you present data that confirm that the status quo is what you say it is, you threaten the male power base. Danger to males means not being able to walk the planet able to do whatever they please with impunity. It is not the same as how females understand danger – bodily harm, sexual threats, isolation, poverty, starvation, death – although males try to equate them or even elevate their idea of danger in importance.
If you’re lucky, you can wear the mask in public and then come home to a place where the mask comes off and you can be yourself and live in relative safety. If you are straight and have chosen to live with a male, you may still wear the mask at home, but I’m tired of people talking about straight women, and the privilege they orbit, and how it can go wrong. If you choose to swim with sharks and you get bit, why are you surprised, ffs??? I mean, we have been bombarded by d.v. data for decades, and women still choose to ignore it. Complicated issue and reasons for ignoring reality, but not going to be addressed here. No, I’m talking about the brave women who reject cock, are punished for it on many levels, are forced to wear a second mask in public because they are deemed even more dangerous than an outspoken straight woman, and then because of poverty, are forced to wear the mask at home because of lack of choice in living situations.
There is little worse than being a poor lesbian or asexual who tries to stay away from men, but is forced to share living space with male strangers because she can’t afford anything else. I’m talking living in hostels, living in houses with multiple rooms rented out (where the renters are chosen by a landlord who doesn’t live in the house, not the renters who have to share the space), living in women’s shelters or prisons where violent male trannies posing as women are allowed in. In these cases, the women must wear multiple masks in public and then wear at least one at ‘home’. To take the mask off in a space where you are supposed to be safe also shows you to be dangerous, and then your ‘threat’ becomes exposed to the straight women and men living with you. Your housing becomes further insecure since you have become a perceived threat, especially if you complain, and you sense that your very life may be in danger because one thing is true: unlike women, when men get scared and threatened, they turn to violence and lash out. They target the perceived source of their fear – a woman who doesn’t literally or figuratively suck their cock or any cock, for that matter; a woman who doesn’t pay them enough attention, attention that they deserve as males; a woman who is a lesbian; it could be anything as no one needs a reason to attack a woman – and they try to take back the power they think they deserve and that they think has been taken away from them (aka ’emasculation’).
I firmly believe that financial independence is crucial for all women so that they may have safety and choices in life, and to help eliminate forced heterosexuality. Women are only dangerous because men say we are, and as we all know, in the he said/she said game, what he says goes. Always.
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Shits and Giggles During Day 11 of Forced Quarantine
I promise, like seriously, that I’ll seriously write a more serious post soon. In case I haven’t mentioned before, I recently repatriated to Canada – only because my visa ran out in the US and you can’t really fly anywhere else from the US due to American incompetence in dealing with The Virus. Anyhow, Canada has an effective, but weird (I’ll have to explain that in another place at another time), Virus Strategy. Keeping Americans and their fucking fucked version of freeeeeedom OUT has been a big part of that strategy. And it has worked.
So I find myself in a 2-week forced quarantine situation that all incoming people must do, although for the vast majority, they are residents and have a place to go that is deemed appropriate by the government. I don’t. Communicating with my government earlier, they told me that for someone in my situation (non-resident citizen with no family, home, friends, place to go, etc), they would house me in an appropriate place and supply me with food – paid for cuz this is a socialist country and all that – all to prevent me from potentially spreading the Chinese-American Virus to sweet little innocent Canadians. I arrived and lo and behold I am now in a designated location, but I get to pay for everything! Yeah! The Canadian government lies. But I knew that years ago and is why I try so hard not to live here. Anyhoo…
I’m on Day 11. No outdoors. No sunlight. No contact with people. No walking, except to the bathroom (significant considering I’ve walked 5-10 miles every day for the last 4 months). Very restricted diet due to expense and access. I’m actually doing pretty well, psychologically, except for getting distracted on the Net and finding unfunny things perfectly hilarious.
So I figure I’d share my favourite video so far. Let’s go back to the 1970’s – probably the most embarrassing decade in the last century. I’m proud to say I was born in and disco’ed my way through it with home-made terrycloth leisure ensembles, velour knickers (not the underwear, Brits – the half-pants you’d see on the likes of Little Lord Fauntleroy, yessirree), strange-patterned sundresses, and a bunch of other embarrassing outfits crafted at home out of financial necessity. Yeah, white girl not rich – must be an anomaly…
So enjoy the following sexist song performed by Caribbean band, Boney M: Rasputin. I love busting stereotypes, and this helps us see that not all black people have dance moves. I couldn’t stop laughing – they’re worse than me! Note that Bobby Farrell takes himself waaaay too seriously, like all dudes. One of the women also has those dead eyes that I associate with rape victims and porn ‘stars’. Hope that wasn’t what was going on here. And the outfits… cringe. Very ’70s. And the lyrics! Good lord. Note that the song was banned by the Soviet govt, but Russians still loved the band.
Enjoy! Ra ra Rasputin… lover of the Russian Queen.
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Better Seen, But Not Heard
I’ve never really understood why people get so obsessed with actors. They are basically glorified memorizers, some of whom are able to sell a lie. We worship this? Okay.
Well, once in a while, there might be someone with real talent; they are seldom recognized as a) we celebrate all male mediocrity, so the most famous male actors aren’t really that talented, b) women are chosen for their looks rather than acting ability, so most female talent never makes it to the big screen, c) most writers are male with a few male-identified women thrown in, so the roles for women are limited and usually supporting roles and/or caricatures. Female talent seldom gets to shine, even if they have been noticed.
But one thing is true, no matter the talent or lack of talent in the acting department; these folks aren’t really special in any other way. So why do their opinions on serious issues matter so much to the hoi polloi? I mean, most of them aren’t especially intelligent or worldly. Even if they’ve managed a university degree, intellectual work, thinking, analysis, etc., wasn’t the primary goal. Jobs geared towards fame and fortune tend to attract people who want attention, so the narcissism factor tends to run high. So I ask again, why would we place such value on the opinions of self-centred, out-of-touch, I lie-for-pay types? Does everyone really need a hero, and the loudest asshole wins the role?
Who is Daniel Radcliffe? Feeding-hand-biter. Misogynist. Mediocre actor. And bit of a tosser, really…
Again and again, we follow the uninformed political rantings of ridiculous screenies, and not to beat a dead horse, but the latest is the schlock coming out of the mouths of wand-wavers, Daniel Radcliffe and his cohort. [Jeez, I told myself I would never write on this, but the topic just won’t go away…] Please stop talking. Please stop attacking the woman who made you rich and famous. You aren’t even touched by the trannie issue. Women are. Let women who are on the ground dealing with this shit day to day take the lead and put the issue in its place (the toilet). Your opinion means less than nothing. Go back to your mediocre acting. I, for one, am boycotting all future films put out by tossers like this one.
So tired of the trannie issue, but it is far from being done, and the worst is yet to come for women who dare to trust established science and defy the crazies by speaking in public.
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My Three Top Online Activity Picks to Improve Your Lady-Brain
No, despite my reference to lady-brain, this isn’t a sarcastic or satirical post, nor is it a trans bullshit post. I’m actually going to give you my top three online fun-times picks for those of you who are in a situation where you are not allowed to work (like me, a foreigner in the US trapped on a student visa), can’t work (you are on disability or have The Virus, or something), have free time (these days, who doesn’t?), or are a lazy fucker (i.e., a man or a man trapped in a woman’s body or vice versa wtf…, or a modern cell-phone-is-attached-to-my-hand-stay-at-home-facebook-mom).
I love puzzles and strategy and solving problems (jeez, maybe I am a trans…), and believe that doing this kind of stuff regularly can maintain and even improve brain function well into old age. Luckily, if you sift through all the porn and cat videos, and narcissistic Gen Y and Z videos on the internet, you can find a few sites to help get your lady-brain a-revving. I like crossword puzzles and sudoku, but I’ve included three sites here that you might not have thought of and definitely need to try.
Here are my faves, and the best part is that they are free to use. You’re going to need a laptop or desktop computer though because they are visual activities, perfect for visual people (and I don’t mean the male definition of visual person):
1] puzzlegarage.com (updated April 11, 2025)
Jigsaw puzzles! All kinds of sizes and themes, from 54 pieces to up to 1176. Guess which ones I prefer…? As much as I love real live jigsaws, this is perfect for the minimalist, the frequent traveller, and/or the space deprived.
A picture logic extravaganza. Japanese in origin, these puzzles are solved by reasoning out the placement of black squares (in black-and-white puzzles) or different coloured cubes (in colour versions) on a grid to create a picture. Numbers indicate groupings of like colours. If you like logic and pretty pics, you’ll like this game a lot. Note that on this site, men exist. Therefore, you occasionally run across a puzzle that ends up being something pornographic or demeaning to women. Usually, ‘kind’ scrotals will put the R-rated or over-18 symbol on the puzzle so you can avoid it. I always make sure to down-rate the puzzle and leave comments because it is my civic duty to leave perfect feminist turds on everything men ‘create’ to hurt us.
3] GeoGuessr 
When I found this site, I became addicted and lost many, many evenings to my computer. If you like geography, attention to detail, and using the most minute of clues to solve problems, you will get lost as you find the answer, too. Basically, you are given a shot of a place and you have to figure out where it is. You have the option of searching particular cities or regions, or you can search the world (that is the option I usually choose). It could be rural, urban, a roadway – anything. You can rotate 360 degrees and zoom (google street view type of sitch), and you have to rely upon visual clues such as languages on signs, license plate information, intuition and knowledge about plant life, the colour of the dirt, how things are organized, and so much more, in order to narrow down your focus. In the end, you guess the location, and then you find out how far off you are. It is pleasingly challenging.
Anyhow, have a go. Improve your brains while having fun.
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The Confluence of Two American Patriarchal Scourges
This post is part of a few series. Find it among the following:
Background
I’ve been to a few Prides here and there in various cities. I’ve gone even though I’m not so much into large group events, and even though I attend without knowing anyone since I move around a lot. I go for a few reasons. First, I like to check out the local scene. I find it extremely hard to meet lesbians, especially lesbians who are man-hating, pro-women, non-intersectional, and anti-natal. (Do they even exist???) And second, Pride is supposed to be a celebration of something that on any other day gets you hated and mistrusted by women and pornified by men. Pride came about to allow a seriously oppressed population the chance to feel normal of sorts among others who understood them and the daily challenges of not following the hetero rules of raping and impregnating bitches or being that raped and impregnated bitch. Gay men, of course, have always turned Pride into a bit of a sex-fest. That is what men do regardless of which holes they fuck; everything is sex to them. Lesbians: I think they just wanted to be acknowledged, accepted and then left to their own devices. Kind of a ‘we exist, thank you, now fuck off and stop raping us and demonizing us’ sort of thing.
I volunteered for Pride in the American city where I was living last year, but this time, it was a sort of Bizarro, alterego of Superman kind of Pride – very ass-backwards compared to the Prides I had attended long ago. For one, Pride is no longer peaceful. The gay men are still loud and proud and focused on sex, as per usual. But then again, the shit that has been happening lately is happening to women, not men. Gay men have the privilege and luxury of being able to focus on their own brand of fun as there is no threat posed to them. Their space remains intact and their bodies unassaulted. But for lesbians, there is an element of violence and aggression, and within-group policing and hovering threats that never existed before. I felt afraid sitting in my volunteer orientation. I was more afraid of the people in the Pride group than I was of potential violent nutjobs from the crowd. And I’ll tell you why.
Enter the trans. The cause of the violence and aggression and general feeling of unease.
I couldn’t even figure out whether there were any actual lesbians in my volunteer group. The word ‘lesbian’ wasn’t uttered a single time during my multi-hour orientation. But 30 minutes on pronouns and another 30 on triggering and another 60 boiling down to how, basically, it is not possible to have a comfortable conversation anymore, even with people you are supposed to be bonding with because they share your experience. There is nothing shared anymore (except perhaps for fear on the parts of lesbians). The sense of erasure and danger and WTF is going on? was heavy and knife-cuttable-throughable. All due to trans. So the peaceful factor was gone completely. Erase women and you erase any chance for logic and peace… Besides the trans, lesbians have further been erased and replaced by Generation Z(ombie) Queer Hitler-Youth types, ready to narc on anyone who doesn’t suck lady cock or admits they are just a plain old lesbian, or shhhhhh, they have a vagina.
But I digress. I’d like to talk more about my experience with my most recent American Pride, but that is for another post.
Look at Eldridge surrounded by naked white females wearing his dick pants. Always black guys with the ‘raping the white ladies’ fantasy.
I want to talk about trans2, one of the worst things to happen to America since… Larry Flint?… the incel movement took hold? … I don’t know. It’s hard to pick one horrible event as life as a woman is basically “Okay, what next, you fucking rapists?” But it gets worse. Imagine that the trans mindset melded with the BLM (Black Lives Matter – or what it really is: BDM – Black Dicks Matter) mindset, the latter also being one of the worst things to happen to America since MLK approved the rape of a parishioner or prominent Black Panthers member and convicted rapist, Eldridge Cleaver, designed his male supremacist ‘Virility Pants’. (I’ve written about Black Dicks Matter before.)
When you put trans and BLM’ers together you get a fucking insane group of lady-cock, race supremacist, history revisionist, white woman-raping, assholes. In many ways, they are worse than the plain old ex-military white trannies with their muscles and bad wigs. BLT’s are self-made uber-victims and are loving it. Like all trans today, they are transing dead gay men and non-conforming women and otherwise rewriting history. They are claiming that they started the Stonewall riots. In reality, the riots were incited by a LESBIAN, an XX, a WOMAN, half-white/half-black, Stormé DeLarverie, who had been assaulted by police. Now the black trannie dudes will not only ignore this well-corroborated fact, and insist that black trannies (i.e., men) incited and led the entire riot scene. They have taken GAY black MALE, Malcolm Michaels and turned him into a transwoman. Malcolm was at the riots, but didn’t start them. He also knew he was a MAN and GAY and a DRAG QUEEN. But he is dead, and dead men can’t argue or clear up lies and other bullshit. The trans have done this with numerous gender non-conformers throughout history to bolster their numbers. It is dishonest and dilusional.
To all those idiots who think white male trans are ugly and non-whites magically do lady-face right, look again. Sexy hot, amiright? And this is a model… Leaving names off, but you can figure it out yourself.
Now, I’m going to say one more thing about the so-called feminists who don’t support the trans takeover, but who have no problem with men of colour dominating all women. I have noticed in a lot of chat spaces that the urge to shit on white people is irresistible, and the common theme is that a) white males are responsible for the trans horrors, b) white males make fucking ugly ‘chicks’, whereas all the non-white trannnies seem to be so beautiful and elegant. And I have to put my foot down and say “stop and open you gd eyes.” It’s as bad as the trans making up stuff to fit their narrative. White people are not responsible for every bad thing in the world. Sorry. You want it to be true, but it’s not. Second, there are tons of ugly non-white trannies. Go online and do a search in your favourite search engine with the keywords ‘black trans’, and you will see some of the butt-ugliest dudes in dresses that you will ever see. And they don’t ‘pass’. They are so very clearly male, it’s not funny. And for the truly brave and those who have a high tolerance for yuck, take your safe search off, and do an image search for ‘ugly black trannies’. Then you get tons of porn shots of some of the butt-ugliest dudes with their dresses OFF that you will ever see. Put your ‘must fight racism against the poor, poor oppressed menz!’ and pickme urges in the freezer for a while. Reality is uncomfortable at first, but is a much less mindfuckable place to be in the long-run. And you are less likely to hurt women, too! Added bonus of accepting reality!
In short, this is a loud, violent, delusional group of males who benefit from two of the most powerful and supported man-centred faux-victim groups in the US. Don’t get sucked into supporting anti-woman policy because you are brainwashed into believing you’re evil because of your skin colour. You will never win. They are male and they will try to kill you eventually, physically or through policy. Unlike with white males, these guys will double-whammie you with “You’re racist AND transphobic!!” and there is nothing you will be able to do to assert your humanity as a woman (and you’ll be double screwed if you’re a white woman).
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Putting Social Distancing to Good Use
Took this photo on a walk yesterday. You’ve all seen this sign, although in its undoctored state, a million times in the last few months. I’m all about multi-purposing things, and I see a greater worldwide practical use for social distancing. My proposed new signage says it all. And with my propaganda campaign, I’ll one day manage to get 10 feet (substitute meters and kilometers for the entire non-American world), and then 50 feet, and then a mile, and eventually separate cities and countries just for the XX species. I know, I dream…
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Featured Post: How White Women Gained Cuntrol of the West
[This post is part of the White Girl series.]
Back around the year 1,000, Scandinavians, a mixed group of northern European sea warrior types, dominated the British Isles. They came to be known as ‘Vikings’ or water raiders. The group was led by fierce and proud red-haired white women. And they were easily bored – hence all the raiding and pillaging, and don’t forget the raping! Remember that there were no fashion magazines or online sex quizzes at the time, and you can only paint your face with woad or alter your war-bustier to achieve more cleavage so much before you run out of things to do. It was time to explore. One day, the women decided on an ambitious sea-faring mission beyond the British Isles. But it was dangerous, so they decided to send a group of their most useless males to explore and report back, and hopefully to bring back riches that women around the world, but especially white women, can’t seem to get enough of.
Useless and stupid as they were, the men managed to find the oh-so-fertile lands of Greenland and present-day Canadian Baffin Island and Newfoundland. But who the fuck wants to live there, right? We’re talking big rocks with very short growing seasons and few people to trade with or conquer. And let’s face it, you can only eat so much fish… So the lands went unestablished.
Fast-forward a few centuries. Mainland European women heard tell of the Vikings’ deeds and failures and they decided they could do things better. And never forget these were uppity white women – greedy, domineering, vicious, never satisfied with what they had. Spanish women were the most ambitious, probably due to their Mediterranean passion and hot tempers. It was the aggressive and war-mongering Queen Isabella – the Iron Queen – who kicked the whole thing off. She entrapped and manipulated a simple sailing goofball called Christopher Columbus, (who was most likely a woman in men’s clothing, given ‘his’ propensity for enslaving conquered populations – bitches be crazy and oppressive and slavery-loving, and all that). Chris and her crew of swashbuckling, scurvied women set sail and began their assault on the Americas, starting with the Bahamas and other Caribbean islands.
I’ve reconstructed** what Chrissy Columbus likely looked like irl beore she donned men’s clothes to blend in. Women through the ages have committed tons of crimes against humanity and then tried to blame them on men through a variety of means. One popular method has been to dress up like men and go nutso on the populations around them, kind of like how Americans go abroad and tell people they are Canadian and then proceed to act like douchebags…
**I’ve transified men before using one of my favourite stupid online tools from the Seventeen unleash-your-inner-whore virtual makeover. See my post: “When You Aren’t Born with Radar” to know what I get up to when I’m bored and feeling transfobic…
Other European countries joined in, and typical white lady greed took over. Not only could women take over a place and kill the men and rape the women, thus fulfilling their bloodlust and lust-lust, but they could also enslave these unbelievably amazing local societies of innocent noble savages. Everyone knows that aboriginal peoples are peace-loving, sexual-equality-achieving, and all around nature-symbiosis masters (except for cutting off the noses of adultering women, scalping their enemies, taking over territories of rival tribes, getting high/stoned regularly, etc., etc. – if they don’t document it themselves, it never happened!!! Thank you oral traditions!), so white lady invasion was an affront to to to… God, or at least the nature god of the natives, because Jesus’ dad clearly supported it all. Anyhow, white European ladies cut a swath through the Americas, importing first, very young, white male bodies for husband-slave-making and for rapey-prostitution-fun, and general labour. Then, they imported black male and female bodies (something the Arabs and Chinese had been already been doing for centuries, but it was still probably originally a white lady idea, because that’s how white chicks are, dontchaknow) for labour purposes. Settlements were established. Eventually, the cold, unfeeling white ladies of Britain won out. Passion makes for good riots and general mayhem, but the cold and calculating dispassion typical of the British and especially British women gives the stamina and strategic objectivity that wins wars in the long run. This is why the French lost and why they still hold a grudge in Europe and in Canada. Less passionate than the Spanish or Italians, the French are still good at riots, fire-setting, hissy fits and other passionate outbursts. But they just can’t win against the icy British constitution when it comes down to it. C’est la vie!
So, anyhow, Thanksgiving was established in order to rub colonization in the faces of what was left of the aboriginal people – nothing to do with sharing the harvest with neighbours and being thankful for food and hoping not to die during the long winter. White women are petty and cruel as we all know.
As time went on, native peoples were pushed farther and farther off their lands, and countries were established. Women drew up constitutions to protect the rights of white women. We have famous quotes by America’s founding mothers, as an example.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all women are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Strive to be the greatest woman in your country, and you may be disappointed. Strive to be the best and you may succeed: she may well win the race that runs by herself.
These founding mothers, as we now understand, wrote solely for themselves and other women in their image. To this day, they are the most protected citizens under the law. White lesbians have always been the worst – narcissistic, cruel, and completely self-serving – and they have tended to rise high in the power structure, running Western countries and keeping concubines all over the world. [It has even been rumoured that they keep virile and ‘troublesome’ activist men on farms, harvesting their sperm…] While they allowed non-white women protection and the right to vote later in the 19th century following release from slavery, it took a long, long time for men to achieve suffrage. Today, white men are still the only group who don’t have civil rights protection under the American constitution and its amendments, and are even accused of and blamed for all the evils white women have wrought upon the world. They have been fighting long and hard. I suspect they’ll never achieve true freedom while they continue to accept the trappings of sex slavery under women and while they focus any activism on lifting up non-white women instead of themselves.
Elizabeth Hamilton, Deborah Read, Dolley Madison, Martha Washington: not simpering white slaves, but the puppet-masters, the founding mothers. I mean, look at their secret smiles…
Other North and South American countries have suffered similarly under white-lady colonial rule. White lady corporations peddling white lady inventions have destroyed local economies, land and waterway integrity, and local food systems. Poverty is rampant throughout the southern hemisphere and has leaked out to other continents through globalization. Yup, white chicks are responsible for that with their evil empire and expansionist mentality.
In all places, men have fought amongst themselves. Men who have bothered to speak out for other oppressed men are immediately attacked for their perceived privilege. Perhaps they are married to a wealthy powerful white woman; they might be ‘too’ educated or ‘too’ successful or ‘too’ something and are thus patronizing less fortunate men and shouldn’t be allowed a voice at all. In reality, very few men achieve success on their own. Orbiting a woman, any woman, is the key to success and security. It is, in fact, a woman’s world, and any man who tries to point that out is accused of being a woman-hating andronazi and trying to scrotify society (enforcing empathy and merit-based equal rights and opportunities and attacking the natural and justifiable female right to use, abuse and kill men). Many argue, especially publicly on late night television, that Western society is already suffering and thus circling the drain due to scrotification.
Debriefing
Confused? Yeah, I know. That wasn’t real. I rewrote history. I created my own male and/or non-white fantasy. It is satire.
It is funny how people reinterpret and even rewrite history to suit political agendas these days. Europeans like to pile on the US for capitalizing off of slavery, when it was Europe that started the whole fucking thing. If we do acknowledge European evil, we focus on Britain, forgetting that Spain started the entire invasion of both North and South America, and many other countries (Portugal, France, the Netherlands, etc) played significant roles in colonization. And remember that men of all races and ethnicities have conquered and enslaved people all over the world throughout time. Only white Americans (and increasingly whites in other Western countries) are required to feel guilty for this, however. No one else ruminates over the shit their countries have done to their own people and those in foreign lands.
Also note how great liberals are at using their 20/20 hindsight to criticize white people of yore for not having modern knowledge and know-how. [But it is selective to race – not sex. Women still actively participate in their slavery, so their oppression is still more widespread and unacknowledged than any oppression on the planet and slavery traditions are still celebrated and enforced.] This is all part of the whole liberal completely racist ‘noble savage/white devil’ paradigm, where non-white people wear the do-no-evil halos that you might attribute to a mentally retarded person incapable of having insight or being wholly unable to learn complex notions or understand morality. At the same time, white people are supposed to be endowed with genius-like brain power that allows full knowledge of every fact on every topic in the world and they are thus exempted from deserving forgiveness for being average, ignorant humans making mistakes on planet earth. For example, Columbus is vilified for bringing disease to the native peoples of the Americas. [No one ever mentions the significant evidence that in return, the Europeans contracted syphillis from the native peoples and then brought it back to Europe and infected wives and prostitutes both.] Internationalism enables the transferrence of weird local diseases to new populations, and Columbus is not unique in the role he played, nor was it intentional. Remember that germ theory wasn’t known in the 15th century. Further, over the centuries, for example, horrendous diseases originating in China have killed millions around the world thanks to trade and globalization, including the bubonic plague (Black Death) that destroyed Europe, the Asian flu, the Spanish flu (which was Chinese, but identified in Spain), SARS, COVID-19 and way, way more. But non-white importers/exporters of disease are never called out.
[Note that I don’t now and will never stick up for men as a group or worship cock accomplishments or give cookies to men who approach some kind of humanity status (the whole ‘I’m so great because I have managed not to rape you’ thing that women fall over themselves to reward). I also don’t think any race or special group of men is any better or worse than any other. See They Are All the Worst.]
American liberals are taking things too far currently. Statues of Columbus are being removed in various places so as not to offend crybabies. Erasing history – whether it be banning books or removing statues or literally rewriting the textbooks that children study – never achieves anything, imo except an even higher level of ignorance. And if you erase, no one can talk about things. We see this in the lack of knowledge women have about their own history. Our history is seldom kept, never taught honestly, and is constantly erased by men, trans, racial groups, religious people, etc. But it is important to keep all history intact and accessible, even the unsavoury bits. You have to learn from past mistakes – not blame people who are still alive who have little to nothing to do with the past – but to remember for the purpose of becoming better. But if we are going to take down statues, then all statues of pretty much all men should be taken down across the country, including the overabundance of MLK statues. That guy was a misogynist, pro-rape, hypocritical family values/adulterer piece of shit, and it galls me that people hold him up as some kind of peaceful paragon of morality. And by the way, where are the statues of women?
It’s also interesting that women are always to blame for what men have done. It is easy to understand this. Men write the laws. Men are also more dangerous to attack, not just because they are more protected, but because they will fight back. Woman are naturally hated in this world by both men and women. Men hate women for being more… more everything than men are plus some, and reinforce this hate in all people through the systems they design and the general socialization process. Women are physically smaller and weaker, and are also less naturally violent and less likely to fight back. Further, they are not protected under the law, so they are likely to be punished if they fight back. So we attack women. The bonus is that you can attack women sexually in addition to all the other ways you might attack a man. And because of how rape is defined by men, only the woman will be held accountable (if she bothers to try to report at all). Currently, whites are hated more than any other group, and so white women bear the brunt of many attacks: by non-white men and women, by white men, and by fellow white women. The currently liberal agenda is laser focused on making white women pay for all ills in the world and denying them a voice to speak their truths about the violence they experience, especially at the hands of the non-white. And many loud white women are saying ‘okay, I deserve it, do your worst’. Saying otherwise gets you hurt worse and by more people.
A few points to be left with:
- facts are not racist
- criticizing other races or liberal (selective) anti-racism-warriors is not racist
- pussification is not a thing
- black men have more power than all women
- all women have a right to defend themselves and to speak their truths
- rights and privileges are two different animals
- everything an individual woman does has political implications, even if she is sick of politics or is not a political person
- if you want to solve any of the isms or phobias of the world, you need to attack the root of all problems: MISOGYNY
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A Lone Woman in the Woods
I know if I read the title I’ve assigned to this post, alarm bells would go off. Rape. I’d be waiting for the rape story. I am a lone woman and rape has never been far from my mind since I was a teenager and was alone in most of what I did from day to day. I learned from an early age what it meant to be a female that did most things in her life alone – sometimes by choice, sometimes, not. Tracy Chapman, one of my absolute favourite folk singers, unfortunately grouped us girls into ‘good girls’ – those who moved around quickly in groups – and ‘fast girls’ – those of us who walk alone and who got raped and beaten and disappeared by men and boys. There is almost the implication that the latter are looking for trouble, and deserve what they get. I kind of hated her for that. I’m neither fast nor bad, and I certainly neither look for trouble nor do I deserve all the rapes and assaults by men of all races I’ve experienced as a lone woman and especially as a white woman. I love you, Tracy, but fuck you.
[Brief rant, get ready, or get out now while you can;)]
Many of you are likely partnered and you have no idea what it is like to have to do every fucking thing in your life alone. It’s not always a choice to be alone, but neither do I want to have to call someone every time I want or need to leave the house, ffs. [I was told endlessly in China after being stalked for weeks and threatened with rape by a black man on my university campus, that I should never leave my apartment by myself. Not possible, even if I wanted to, which I didn’t because I wasn’t the criminal.] The non-alone don’t know what it is like to have to plan every single thing you do around what could possibly happen to you because you are alone. If you travel, you are likely travelling with a male master, or children, or other family members, or maybe a friend or friends. Mothers bitch constantly about the struggles of being a mother, but they are so fucking protected by their brats. They have no idea #!$@ If a rapist or thief or kidnapper is going to target a woman, who is he going to pick – the bitch with the litter of pups with her or the lone female? Which will be easier to deal with? Men are opportunists, picking off the ones no one will miss. Breeders don’t know real danger even though they think they do or they wax poetic about how ‘dangerous’ things are for them. They’ve chosen to be mastered, to fit into society, to get the economic, legal and social tit squeeze and ass pat that society and their family gives them for spreading their legs, so the only real danger they experience is from the master they enslave themselves to. There is a lot of coat-tail privilege one gets when signing on for motherhood and/or hetero slavery. I say coat-tail because no woman is truly privileged. I stand by that. But you become privilege adjacent simply by orbiting a man or using your cunt the way it was ordained by males. When you are alone – whether it is because you know you aren’t mentally healthy enough to have a lesbian partnership thanks to years of mom-abuse and the subsequent distrust you have for women you make yourself vulnerable to, or whether you just never met someone you could envision partnering with, or whether you just don’t believe in the male-designed concept of long-term monogamous entrapment – you have a very different experience of the world. Despite what heteros and especially breeders say, lone women don’t have it easier. The so-called freedom comes at a massive price. You are economically much less well off than the average breeder and hetero enslaved. Jeez, I was looking at the median family incomes that idiot American liberals published a week or two ago to try to show how whites and blacks are different economically, and I was drooling at the median black income. I’ve never even come close – and I have 3.5 university degrees. Being white and female and not attached to a male always has meant fewer opportunities and less pay and more expectations that I’ll do volunteer work or work for free – I think the assumption is that all white women have husbands and don’t need to work (um, 1950’s much…?) therefore you don’t need to take them seriously in the job market. I probably have gotten pushed or guilted into working for free more than any non-white woman or any male, for that matter. (I just was told again recently that I should find some unpaid work. Why do I have to work for free but everyone else deserves a pay cheque???) Further, for some reason – probably the same one I just mentioned, I am always harassed for money by a segment of the population (all non-white men, and even some non-white women) that has more earning potential than me, even with less education. So being alone and a lez and white and a woman sucks the big one economically. And you are always a target for men and boys physically and sexually. Even indoors. Even in your own home or what passes for one. But outdoors??? It is always there.
Rant finished. Thanks for persevering.
So “A Lone Woman in the Woods”. For me, it smacks of a rape story, but today, no. This is a story of positivity, the beauty of simplicity, the power of a lone woman and the collective power of women through the ages – power that has been stolen by men – that that lies waiting in all of us still if we wish to harness it once again.
Today, I hiked a redwood and eucalyptus forest that lies a mile from where I am staying temporarily. I am Canadian and although I detest my country on so many levels, there is something essentially Canadian that lies in me that is tapped when I go to forests. Most of us don’t live near the ocean even though so much of our land is bordered by ocean. The greatest percentage of our population is lake- and river-situated. And we are tree people too. The forests define us. The ocean is mildly interesting, but inspires a healthy fear in me. It is a river or lake and the forests that typically go with them that speak to me on a primal Canadian and human and womanly level. Some of my relatives are freshwater (Great Lakes) fisherfolk, and I myself have spent much quality time travelling by canoe, camping in untouched forest land, and fishing. So entering this beautiful forest today was pure bliss. The thought of men and rape and intimidation and violence, as usual, entered my mind and settled in at the back, on the edges. But I allowed the smells and colours and textures and the history of women and my people take over.
Women have always been stewards of the forest, and nature in general, in the past. [Sorry, aboriginal North American peoples don’t have the corner market on nature stewardship, as much as modern Canadians and Americans are brainwashed to believe. Women from all cultures have always had a healthy respect for nature until men overruled them and ‘civilized’ them.] Before men stole medicine from my foremothers and banned them from knowledge, branding them witches and devil worshippers, imprisoning them, torturing them, tearing their female parts off or apart, killing them, and destroying or erasing years of wisdom, they were the Wise Women. The healers, the midwives, the abortionist-saviours, the repositories of forest wisdom, the herb and mushroom collectors, the pain relievers. Men became suspicious, then felt threatened, and finally said NO. Women are not allowed to have the independence of body and mind that exists separate from male control and that is deeply rooted in nature, the forests and water bodies. Men decided the forests were not to be cherished and guarded, but exploited – much as women’s bodies were exploited. Men brought death to the forest as they brought death to women through rape and endless pregnancy and ignorance and house-bound slavery. They cut the trees down. They burned down forests to deprive enemies of their bounty. They used women’s bodies and forests to fuel endless wars. To no end. Completely useless and pointless.
Much of that body of medical knowledge has been lost to Western women. Some groups of women were luckier. The knowledge they collected lived on in Traditional Chinese Medicine, for example. But the Wise Women of western countries were decimated and replaced by the male need to cut and bleed and dissect and drug, and although their modern ‘medicine’ lives on today, it creates more illness than it cures. Older cultures sneer at Western Medicine, but it is male medicine. Our ancient wisdom – our female wisdom was mostly erased. I’d bet that we did a lot of things better.
This lost history impressed upon me as I hiked unmolested through the forest. I breathed in the scent of trees and sun and wildflowers. I only ran across two people – both women – and I wondered if they felt the collective female history in the background. Probably not. Heterosexuality beats sensitivity out of you, in my experience. But I will be going to that forest every day for the next 10 days that I will be in this area.
Jane Siberry, one of my favourite Canadian singers, was the background music for my journey today. I’ve had the privilege to hear her sing three times in small venues in Vancouver back in the day. Two of her songs have been featured in the beautiful all-woman death-ritual scenes on the L-Word (Anytime) and Six Feet Under (Calling All Angels – thanks for the reminder, Radfemspiraling). The song I heard today in my mind and heart was Bound by the Beauty. It is such an essentially Canadian song and a song of woman-joy. And the nature-bonding is an aspect of Canadianism that I can get on board with. Enjoy the lyrics and videos (clear studio/audio version and a live version that is less clear) at the bottom.
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I’m bound by the fire
I’m bound by the beauty
I’m bound by desire
I’m bound by the duty
I’m coming back in 500 years
And the first thing I’m gonna do
When I get back here
Is to see these things I love
And they’d better be here, better be here
Better be here
And first I’m going to find a forest
And stand there in the trees
And kiss the fragrant forest floor
And lie down in the leaves
And listen to the birds sing
The sweetest sound you’ll hear
And everything the dappled
Everything the birds
Everything the earthiness
Everything the verdant, the verdant, the verdant
The verdant dream
A Karen to Dance To
Inspired by radfemspiraling‘s Friday music recs and recent post on Karens, and a song that came up through my earbuds while I was on my daily trek through the empty streets of coronavirusland.
Karen Carpenter. A literal Karen rather than what was talked about in the post referred to above, but hey.
So I’m marching around, enjoying relatively perv-ball-free streets, and into my ears flows the following, which I hadn’t listened to in years and years.
What do you get when you fall in love?
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That’s what you get for all your trouble.
I’ll never fall in love again.
I’ll never fall in love again.
What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, he’ll never phone you.
I’ll never fall in love again.
I’ll never fall in love again.
You get enough tears to fill an ocean
That’s what you get for your devotion.
I’ll never fall in love again.
I’ll never fall in love again.
Sorry, the video is really just an audio version.
Well, I laughed and laughed right after the part about catching diseases from men. I wrote something to that effect recently. Now, this song was written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David, and being male, they originally wrote the lyrics with the sexes reversed. Poor hurt men – as if men can fall in love, right? And of course, women are the source of disease – like how they’ve always blamed prostitutes for venereal diseases. Anyhow, the song was made famous by Dionne Warwick, and she reversed the sexes – probably more out of not wanting to appear lesbian than fighting the power. And honestly, it makes more sense and rings truer when a woman sings it. Men don’t really love or cry over women, unless they are crying because their slave is gone, and they don’t want to go to the effort of procuring another.
Just because I felt like it, I decided to write a few of my own lyrics for the more modern survivor of male love and attention. I took the fall in love lines out to conserve space, but you know they’re there.
What do you get when you fall in love?
Stockholm Syndrome with a side of shame
That’s how it works in the hetero game
What do you get when you fuck a dude?
Chlamydia, AIDS, or a yeast infection
Knocked up, and finally, his rejection
What do you get when you deny the trans?
Death threats, rape threats, no-platforming
Loss of your space unless you confirm him
Feel free to come up with your own and then you can dance and sing along.
Let’s get back to Karen Carpenter. She was a superstar, but undervalued. Unfortunately more famous for her death from anorexia (what some racist, sexist black women have called ‘white girl disease’, even though it is very common among many Asian girls and women, as well) than for her amazing musical talent. What a lot of people don’t know, is that she was a kickass drummer – better than most of the famous male drummers out there. She was forced by the producing powers in her life NOT to drum, and to focus more on the lady-like singing. Women have always been cut out of most aspects of music due to the unseemly nature of playing an instrument that might require body movements or facial contortions.
Her joy was in drumming, however.
I include below, this incredible video of her in her element. You see joy in her that you don’t see when she sings. And it boggles my mind how her clearly decimated body is able to put so much power into communion with the several drum sets on stage. Please try hard to disregard the creepy, douchey brother presence. He can play the piano well, but there is something odd about him that I don’t want to examine too deeply.
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The Three Douchebags of the Coronapocalypse
Three apocalyptic heroes: Trump, Xi and Putin. Who needs a brain when you have a penis?
Just an intro
Sorry so silent. There is so much to write. And this is the perfect time for writing. There is nothing to do, and I’m trapped in a true shithole: America. Luckily, not New York – I feel bad for those fuckers. Truly. That shit storm could have been prevented. And it is getting worse. And it is entirely possible, given the true lack of leadership, brain power, and coordination between states, that the US is going to see even harder times during what was fast becoming a serious problem due to income disparity, housing shortages, climate change problems, and a low point for women. Perhaps my new series on the American Downfall, which had been brewing in my mind for a while was aptly timed.
But let’s get into some particulars. I want to take a look at three very special narcissistic psychopaths who have more power than anyone deserves and who run completely unopposed in a way that matters.
China – President Xi Jinping
Luckily/unluckily, I have a shit ton of experience with the Chinese, how they think about things, how they operate, and how they destroy people from the inside out. I lived there in a surreal hell cumulatively for nearly a decade – a hell where you constantly feel like you are fucked no matter what you do or what you say. They are masters of psychological punishment and retribution, and experts on ‘spin’. As I have mentioned before, I had a Chinese leader at a college I worked and lived at look me in the eye and say with a straight face that they locked us in our building at night for our own safety.
Throughout history, the Chinese government has perpetrated numerous crimes against humanity – often unhidden crimes spun as ‘for your own good’ measures – and haven’t ever once taken responsibility for a single one, even when the hard cold truth is laid out before them. A thousand years of foot-binding is never talked about – it is suppressed women’s history, after all. Who cares? They also don’t teach their children that China bought and owned African slaves for hundreds of years. My students often like to talk about Americans like they are evil for their history of slavery, but the fact is that black flesh was bought and sold by Arabs and Asians long before even white Europeans and later, American men, got in on the action. And speaking of criticizing Americans, please note that while the US is good at incarcerating people, the Chinese are best at incarcerating and killing people. China kills more prisoners per year than all the other countries of the world combined. They don’t talk about it, though. Suppressed information. It is impressive, this ongoing cover-up of history and facts, but you definitely want to admire it from outside their sphere of influence.
It is not possible, however, to live outside their latest influence because the sphere is the entire globe – the COVID-19 pandemic. They may not have deliberately created this situation, but they certainly facilitated it. And they are squarely in denial mode, and are still spreading lies throughout their population that the virus didn’t start in China. I have several former students checking in with me on Chinese social media to smugly inform me that a) the virus actually started in Italy or the US (or whatever the rumour of the day spread by the state-owned media is over there), and b) China is superior at containing the virus. What they don’t say to me is that China has been superior at exporting the virus. And they have also been superior (as they have been for years) at hiding information, failing to report data, and intimidating and punishing people who have tried to expose the truth or criticize the government (which are seen as the same thing over there). Like everywhere, there are good, honest people in China, but they don’t survive well under an oppressive regime.
Looking at China’s recent history, what is happening now is nothing new. The previous president, Hu Jintao, was a typical Chinese leader now famous for suppressing information about SARS for over a month, holding the doctor who leaked the information to the world in prison for 45 days. Luckily, SARS only spread to 26 countries. I lived in Taiwan, a hotspot, at that time – 2003. And I was continuously told that the US had concocted the virus and deliberately infected China with it. Same Chinese tactics – blame someone else, refuse all responsibility.
Xi Jinping has followed suit, but he is a hell of a lot worse than President Hu. Admired by the populace as a president “working to stamp out corruption”, he has ended up implementing measures to reduce government accountability and transparency (not that the Chinese government was ever either of the two), and ensure more corruption. Xi named himself lifelong dear leader recently, and showers his cronies with rewards. He is possibly just as powerful as former notorious Chinese dictator, Mao Zedong. Xi has managed to wage a war on Canada due to the Huawei debacle, even killing an incarcerated and already sentenced Canadian, as revenge for Canada arresting the multi-millionaire Huawei CFO and keeping her under house arrest in Vancouver (she has a few million-dollar homes in my country). As a professional bully, Xi has also forced several international airlines to stop saying that Taiwan is a country. American Airlines, Delta and United, Lufthansa and numerous other airlines have kneeled to suck Chinese dick. Pathetic. In the last little while, he has imprisoned over a million Chinese muslims in concentration camps – sorry ‘reeducation facilities’ – Islam is seen as a mental health problem (I think all religion is a mental health problem, but incarceration or conversion can’t fix that problem…). Xi has cracked down even further on free speech, especially on the internet. He employs millions of people to police the internet and thousands are arrested every year for saying the wrong thing. The online presence of a gay and lesbian group at a university where I was living was recently shut down, students were interrogated. And now he has become the man responsible of the spread of the Coronavirus to, let me check… 180 countries (as of today, April 1st – and that’s no joke). Note to President Xi: you can cover up rape and murder in your country, but you can’t hide an epidemic, no matter how many scientists you arrest.
Classic Chinese thinking (Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesperson, Geng Shuang)
“China didn’t start it. China is not responsible for it either.”
Oh, and by the way, speaking of Chinese power and free speech suppression, we have: the Spanish flu, German measles, Middle Eastern Respiratory Syndrome (MERS), and more, but we can’t call COVID-19 the Chinese flu or Wuhan flu, despite the fact that China, and specifically Wuhan, is the origin of this disease. Stop coddling the psychopaths. It reminds me of Saturday Night Live – long-running American comedy show notorious for making fun of almost anyone and everything. I grew up watching it. I have noticed that President Xi is the only major political leader who is off-limits, and China is never joked about. As I’ve been predicting for years now, China has begun its empire, and the US is on the way out.
USA – President Donald Trump
And Trump is helping the US on its bizarre downward spiral. Only in the US, a country that claims to uphold freedom like no other country in history or in the modern world, can someone like Trump be freely elected. Only in the US, a country with the power to impeach leaders, can someone like Trump remain in office. This is a stupid man. An ignorant man. A man who doesn’t understand much, let alone science. A man who cares more about Twitter and his television presence than actual politics and the people he has been elected to protect and serve. A man who was recorded making rape comments about women and who has been accused of raping, attempting to rape and sexually assaulting numerous times since 1989. His rape comments have been recorded and made public and still he remains. Women have been surprisingly complacent about what this man stands for. Knitting fucking hats for fuck sake. Instead of demanding the recall of this human excrement. You poor brainwashed women. You’ve allowed men to shut you up, derail you, and make you believe you are free when in fact you are no better off than women in other woman-hating countries/cultures.
Rapey Trump quotes:
“I moved on her like a bitch.”
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
To me, that is his worst quality, and I think he should be put to death because of rape – like any and all men in the world. But if his deep-seated misogyny doesn’t move you, there is plenty of other shit to make you question his ability to lead effectively.
The man is stupid. I was flying within the US a few years ago, and an elderly American couple that was sitting beside me asked me what I though of Trump. Now, being a Canadian, I am pretty polite and mild-mannered, and I gave some non-answer meant to keep me unassaulted. I am so used to dealing with crazies and I am so used to being verbally (and sexually and physically) attacked for being a lone white woman (WWWW – walking while a white woman), that I just try not to rock the boat (or plane) unless I know I can escape. Long story short, the couple ended up being anti-Trump, and I finished our Trump discussion with an analysis that I though the man saw what he was doing as some sort of game. He is used to being on television where nothing is real and everything is drama. And I really think he extends this little fantasy life into the real world. The presidency is just one more game to him. But he is also stupid. I can’t say this enough times. Seriously.
I am not sure why he is allowed to speak in public. His own party is starting to distance themselves (see this article, from The Atlantic, written by a Republican). And following every statement that he makes, it seems like member of his entourage needs to go back and do damage control, placating the enraged, correcting erroneous ‘facts’, and dialing back fantastical promises and predictions. I mean, history is riddled with insane and/or stupid MEN with too much power doing and saying stuff and people having to clean up after them. And often these types of leaders, if left unchecked, can spell the downfall of a society.
If you want a clear sign that the US is falling, this is it. I would argue that two terms of Bush Junior was the writing on the wall – I mean seriously, he was dumb and aggressive and offensive and did huge damage to the reputation of the US, but Americans wanted him not once, but fucking TWICE. [Does everyone remember that hilarious, but significant, televised press conference where that Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at Bush’s head??? If that doesn’t say dunzo for America, I don’t know what would…] The acceptance of Trump doesn’t surprise me one bit, and the complacency exhibited by ignorant Americans is just a death rattle in my ears. Americans, I’m embarrassed for you, but you made your bed.
Now, getting to the virus. Trump has made the mistake of turning this virus into a blame game with Xi. They are both narcissistic psychopaths with testoterone poisoning. Xi began the coronavirus pandemic when he suppressed vital information about what was going on and thus releasing the virus out into the world at large. He is 100% responsible for that, but Trump has devastated America by behaving ignorantly, ignoring medical professionals, putting on his “We’re number one!” dumb American act (this virus can’t touch us, we’re so fucking powerful routine), and failing to take necessary precautions. So now, at this writing, the US is the most infected country in the world with nearly 204,000 cases. And it will get much worse. And Trump is fully to blame for this. My own country, despite sharing the longest border in the world, is weathering things well. We paid attention to past epidemics, we are responding intelligently and promptly. I just hope that American ignorance doesn’t destroy us too and that Trudeau doesn’t decide to suck Trump’s dick. Myself, I am stuck here in the US. I can’t go home, and if I could, I don’t know if I would at this point. Travelling ups your chances for infection, and I’d hate to import and infect my fellow countrywomen. I’ll write a different post on the shitty treatment a legal foreigner faces in the US at this time…
Honestly, now that I’m back in the US, I don’t see a lot of differences between the Chinese and Americans. They share so many qualities. The leaders do too. Both places are terrible for women. Both places perpetuate ignorance, but as I’ll write about in another post, I really feel that Americans celebrate ignorance on a whole different level in comparison to the Chinese or anyone else on the planet, for that matter. Ignorance is entertainment and it is accepted. Chinese just pass the buck, or the RMB, I should say. It’s an excuse machine.
Classic Trump:
“It’s going to disappear. One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear”
Russia – President Vladimir Putin
Where the fuck is Putin? And what is actually going on in Russia? Now, I’m going to admit that I don’t have much experience at all with Russians, and I have never lived in, let alone been to Russia. So I can’t speak to the Russian mind or way of doing things. They do have that same bizarre, bastardized, communist mentality that you see in other places like China. But Putin has put out a different image than Xi. But I included him here because he is a major player, and he is a narcissistic psychopath like Xi and Trump, regardless of his politics.
So, what is going on in Russia? Does anyone know? If you go by the little that Putin has said, he is behaving like a typical communist leader. Everything is rah-rah-rah. The government is fucking amazing. Everyone and everything is fine. Black out bad news that paints the government in a bad light or that might force the leader to take responsibility for their actions. If I look at my trusty Coronavirus map, there are only 2,777 cases in Russia. This seems odd in a country that borders 14 other countries, including China and with populated areas close to virus-overrun Europe. They also have 144 million people. How can they have so few cases? One explanation is that this is how communist regimes work. Cover up the truth, etc. But Russia also has a crappy health care system, and word is starting to get out that things are much worse than reported. One of the major problems with Russia’s data suppression moves is that Russian travel has not been restricted. They aren’t seen as a risk zone, they haven’t been quarantined or put on flight ban lists. And the result is that the general feeling among the population is that Putin is a hero and the virus will sidestep Russia because of it.
The common Russian view:
“I don’t believe in coronavirus.”
Now, it just came out yesterday that a doctor who just tested positive for the virus met with Putin unprotected. They shook hands. Moscow has been put on lockdown for a week (actually a week-long paid vacation), and the government has implemented a ID system similar to that described to me by my former students in China. They will have to register and show ID if they want to go out to procure food. But unfortunately, much of Russia is either doing business as usual or only has partial lockdown. Let’s see what happens.
Andrei Kolesnikov, political analyst, Moscow:
“It’s a clear message that we are better equipped due to our political system. [Putin] is sure that he is more efficient and this is a case to demonstrate his superiority in that sense.”
Conclusion
Can we fuck off with the politics and just work together to solve the problem?
No, a resounding no. This is how men work. May the best psychopath win!
Stay safe and smart, ladies. And stay away from men if you can. They are always filthy germ-carriers, no matter the disease. We know this from personal observation and from published research. As an example, among educated people in the workplace, “only 31% of men and 65% of women washed their hands” after going to the toilet. If you are going to catch the C-virus, it will likely be a man infecting you. What’s new?
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New Series on the USA’s Downward Spiral
It’s a page not a post, so find it here or in the side bar. All articles falling under this discussion of the demise of the American empire can be found on this page.
Happy reading!
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You’d Never Know It’s Women’s History Month
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am no longer in China. All of the options I’d been researching seemed better than China, each with their own challenges. I chose to apply for a student visa to go the US, commit to a year studying something I felt passionate about, and most important, get my mental and physical health back. China broke me down.
Well, it hasn’t really worked out like I had hoped. My savings has been cut nearly in half in less than a year. I have contracted a scary super bacterium, the likes of which I had only gaped at via online images in the whatthefuckisthat!? category. I think I would have been safer in China with the Coronavirus, tbh. I’m not joking. And sadly, I’ve encountered some of the nastiest and most aggressive women I’ve ever met in my life. I may not stay here after this semester ends. It has been a true nightmare. And I don’t recognize this country anymore – a country where I went to grad school 20-some-odd years ago. I’m left saying what the fuck is going on here? I feel like I’m living in a ‘shithole country’ that many Americans like to refer to when they talk about Third World countries or countries where women are treated like cattle (pot-kettle-black?) And can only conclude that it is part of the natural decline of a prolific and violent patriarchal empire.
So back to the topic I had in mind. I feel like this country has taken some steps backwards, especially with regard to women. It was poignantly expressed yesterday morning as I arrived at my campus. Black history month was last month – there were posters of MLK and messages posted everywhere to raise awareness. March – now – is women’s history month, and…..? Cue the crickets. Nothing. No posters. No acknowledgement. No empowerment. No history. I had expected it, but even when you’re ready for disappointment, it still bites.
But what does this mean, the failure to acknowledge women in America directly following a month-long fanfare for blacks? Neither liberals nor conservatives will support women, but for different reasons. Liberals want to congratulate themselves for being human-rightsy, but don’t want to take real power away from men. Supporting women would threaten the male power base. Conservatives are often pro-whatever-their-race-is, but will still support men of other races over women. It is this way in every corner of the world, but we’re talking about the US. So what might be some of the reasons for the no-comment on women’s history?
Liberals would likely say that women have achieved freedom and equality, unlike the poor black folks (men). I mean, women can vote and besides they are able to be prostitutes and sluts and pole dancers and shit. They have freedom now, dammit. Trying to call attention to themselves, especially right after black month, would be offensive and arrogant and would steal thunder. Make a big to-do out of nothing as bitches are wont to do. Why can’t they just accept that women have all the power?????
Liberals might also say that use of the word ‘woman’ is trans-exclusionary. Somehow, stating a fact (XX = human female) negates the existence of men in lipstick and stilettos who feel like totally puss-perfect and ready to do Woman correctly, nay, better! Putting up those celebratory posters might make 68.1% of trans try to kill themselves. And it would be all women’s fault! It is better to erase women and women’s history in order to keep the trans from throwing a typical male hissy fit at not having the spotlight. My campus is so pro-trans that I am partially surprised that they didn’t put up women’s history posters focusing on trans history… I suppose doing nothing is better than a trans take-over? Both are forms of erasure. Can’t win here…
Conservatives? Do they celebrate women? Not really – unless said women are really good at supporting their man. Powerful women are those who can scrub a skid-mark out of a pair of boxers or quell the family’s whining with a well-baked pie. So putting up posters at an institute of higher learning kinda goes against what they believe in. Education at least opens the door for female freedom. While many women do pursue the education, sadly enough, few walk through that door.
A few historical points about the US track record with women that most like to gloss over, make excuses about, just plain old don’t know, in favour of whatever the political climate is:
- The first slaves brought to the US were white women from Europe: wife-slaves, unmarried female children to be sold as wives, and female ‘criminals’ who were to be sold into marriage or prostitution. Europeans also rounded up girls (‘street urchins’) living on the streets to send over as rape fodder. This model has applied to all colonies in the history of the world. Women and girls are always the first and last slaves.
- Women were not included as people in the Constitution or Bill of Rights. Women have been trying for a federal Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution for decades. It is 2020 now, and nearly 100 years after women first drafted the amendment, there *might* finally be the 3/4 of the 50 states needed to officially add said amendment. It is being debated. People will fight it. It may be years until women are protected humans on paper. I’ve noted that white women as a class are the only US citizens not protected in any way under the Constitution. There are official racial protections, gay protections, religious protections, and of course, white men wrote the whole g.d. thing for themselves, so they are protected. But white women have been left out. White privilege applies to men, and a woman of colour can always fight her oppression on the basis of racism. Hopefully, the trans will not sabotage things for women and the federal ERA will go through.
- Black men got the right to vote in 1870. No woman was allowed to vote until 1920. There have been barriers to voting for both groups, but black men were accepted as adult humans well before ALL women.
- There has been a black male president, who despite being less experienced and qualified, was accepted more than once over an experienced and qualified white woman (or any woman, for that matter). Neither candidate was perfect, but enough already. I don’t really believe that the presidential office attracts the right kind of person, given how corrupt the system has become. I just don’t see a woman as President in the near future. When there finally is one, she will suffer and be sabotaged, and be held up as ‘the reason we don’t want women as presidents’.
In conclusion, I believe that all groups except women are fully supported for a few reasons. First, men are part of all oppressed groups, except the group known as female humans. I’ve written about this before to explain why hate speech against women isn’t called hate speech. Secondly, and equally important, a history of oppression is only acknowledged when the group in question is no longer enslaved. Women are the only group in the world, including and especially in the US, that embraces established female slavery institutions and welcomes new forms of female slavery. To talk about women’s history is to acknowledge that women were and still are oppressed – unless you seriously alter the facts; unfortunately, much of women’s true history has been erased as it is.
Anyhow, happy women’s history month, and welcome to my series on the American downward spiral.
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Soul-Sister Shout-Out
Gearing up for something longer and intense. But I absolutely must send out radical e-appreciation for a fellow blogger and sister, kaguyamouse. In my prolonged absence from my site, I’ve only just discovered you despite you having been here. Thank you for your writings, which I enjoy immensely. I get you, I feel the isolation, and I know well the feeling of being a stranger in a land that shouldn’t be strange, but that so frequently is. Our common, comfortable land and small tribe are currently online in these spaces we populate through writing, as long as they are allowed to be there.
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The Female Equivalent of Emasculation?
Well, my goodness, I haven’t written in a year-and-a-half. That was not intended, but it has been a stressful and odd, but ultimately productive time since the summer of 2018. I became busy self-empowering and exploring and working through a lot of China-rage. And as I may have alluded to or come right out and said in past posts, I was actively seeking to get my ass out of mainland China. And by gum, I did it!
China was becoming a scarier and scarier place over time. As a Canadian, I began fearing for my life – I was even threatened by a Chinese male colleague at the college where I was working part time. Google the Huawei debacle if you’re interested and find out how the US put Canadians in danger. It’s great being a chess piece on an international game board used by psychotic capitalist dictator (Trump) on the one side and psychotic communo-capitalist dictator (Xi) on the other. Long story short, China began arresting Canadians right left and centre, and even more scarily, revisited an already sentenced and jailed Canadian and changed his sentence to execution in retaliation. Americans were oblivious, as usual, but my Canadian friends were sending me regular messages urging me to get the hell out of China. That’s not why I left, but the timing was appropriate. And now that China has developed another nasty virus to export, I’m even happier that I’m not there. Hopefully, that will be contained. We’ve just seen the first international death (in the Philippines) from the Chinese coronavirus.
I’m in the US, currently, but I may, in my next post, discuss why it really is not the place I fell for many years ago. Especially as a woman. But I’m getting off-track here. Forgive me, it has been a while.
I wanted to discuss something that has been on my mind plenty in the past, and now again, since I’ve been back in the US amid whiny black, white and other non-white men. And that is this thing called ’emasculation’. It is a word that inspires an immediate and instinctive chuckle in me, for a few reasons. First, in the literal sense, I love thinking about men losing their dicks. Personally, I think all baby boys should have their dicks removed at birth. The Jewish had half a good idea – they didn’t go far enough. It wouldn’t harm males at all, and it would solve so many of our current problems. Messes in the bathroom on the annoying end of the scale of male problem-causing, and rape on the most serious end of male scourgedom. Men seem to be so much more obsessed with anal sex anyways, so it would be a favour to them to refocus their attention on their butts instead of their dicks. So yeah, literal emasculation sends thrill chills up and down my spine.
But when men talk about emasculation, most of the time, they are talking about having their rights as men privilege taken away. By women – that is the important part. It’s pretty much just over-emotional over-sensitivity – something most feminists call ‘butt hurtness’. But the scary part is that this feeling – and remember it is only a feeling, and an irrational one at that – fuels a lot of the violence and hate that men have for and enact on women. Boiled down, man believes he owns the world (and women) and is owed respect by all women. Pretty much anything can ’cause’ a man to feel emasculated. All you have to do is just stand there as a woman and if a man feels that you have dissed him in some way, you have emasculated him. But really, it is any word, behaviour, look on your face, thing you’re wearing that can be irrationally understood by men as being an attack on him as a man. I think it is connected to his ‘intuition‘.
A man really has to subscribe to the religion known as gender to feel emasculated. And that means he believes intrinsically (even if he says the opposite publicly) that men are superior to women in all ways that matter. He also has to believe that there is a different set of standards for women to adhere to, and which includes, serving men. The standards would be degrading for men to have to follow, but they are perfectly acceptable to force on women. Again, he may not publicly admit he believes this, or may not be intelligent enough to even articulate it to himself. But the fundamental belief in the inferiority of women drives the whole irrational over-sensitivity machine that men seem to constantly experience.
So let’s turn this around. Is there an equivalent to emasculation for women? Short answer here is a resounding ‘no’. The gender religion negates this possibility. Let’s explore why this is so. [I did write a post on the close link between infantilization and feminization, which is related, but not exactly what I’m talking about here.] There are actually women who get pissy if you take away their ‘woman essence’ as it is dictated by men and embraced by female hetero sheep, but it isn’t an equivalent. I’ll give some examples below.
So for men, a feeling of emasculation means that he believes his right to intimidate women, have economic, sexual, political, legal (insert anything else here) power over women has been taken away. Example: a woman earns more than her husband, therefore she is emasculating him (his economic power as a man over her as a woman is taken away). He is justified in getting angry and blaming her for his irrational feelings, and if he wants to beat the shit out of her, well, can you blame him????
There isn’t actually a word for this phenomenon for women. That should tell you everything you need to know. Degradation – and that is what this feeling or state is all about – is ACCEPTABLE and normal for women. Women don’t have power. Women don’t have privilege. So they aren’t there for you to take away and women can’t feel like they have lost something. Only a member of the master class can create these feelings in themselves because they have all the power and they know it on some level. And most women don’t believe they are superior either – that is key. If you aren’t factually superior, and you don’t believe you are superior (even if you can’t articulate your feeling of superiority, even to yourself), then you can’t feel like something has been taken away.
Now, let’s come back to those women who truly subscribe to the gender religion. There are women who feel like their societally-contrived gender role is being taken away – usually, it is a response to ‘feminists’ who are actively fighting against gender roles and the forced inferiority of women by men and their henchwomen. For example, these are the women who get angry when people call them the more humanizing and equalizing ‘Ms.’ instead of ‘Mrs.’ because marriage is supposed to be some kind of achievement (instead of an institution firmly rooted in female slavery). They are also the women who get angry or disgusted when women wear pants suits instead of irrationally showing up at work exposing their legs in skirts (why is it only important for women to expose their bodies in the workplace…??? Can you imaging a man showing up to a business meeting in assless chaps?) And there are millions of examples of this weird pissiness at opposition to forced femininity. Gender role adherents will feel like their ‘womanhood’ is being attacked. Their right to be weak and helpless and feminine and exploited, as if that is the very definition of what a woman is according to a god or Nature (which, of course, it isn’t – purely MANmade). And encountering these types of women is confusing, frustrating, and ultimately sad and harmful to women as a group. And of course, this symptom of Stockholm Syndrome isn’t a true equivalent to men’s irrational feeling of emasculation. The only thing natural about it is that it is a normal and non-threatening response of the colonized mind to rationalize harm by male power. Otherwise, women would have to fight men for their freedom to leave gender in the dust. That can get women killed, beaten, raped, etc. Easier to nod and smile, wear the flipping pink skirt suit, and attack one’s fellow slaves regularly.
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I Want My Own Vatican City
I like geography and all things related. Contrary to misogynistic stereotypes, I am a chick with a good sense of direction and I love maps. I do sometimes get a bit lost, but I figure things out pretty quickly. It is not my experience that males know where they are going or are handy with a map. My most hilarious experience with this occurred in Hong Kong several years ago. I was doing a visa run from mainland China with a group of people who, like me, had never been there before. We got off the metro and had to find the Chinese consulate using a rudimentary public map posted on the wall. Myself? I got my bearings immediately and worked out the most efficient route in my mind, using visual-spatial skills that girls aren’t supposed to have. Now unfortunately, in our group, there was a tall, masculine, loudmouth, ex-military British fucker, whom I’ll call Prince George. And being be-penised, he immediately appointed himself leader and started telling us all his plan to get us to the embassy. I realized immediately that Prince George hadn’t a clue about how to get to where we needed to go. I piped up and said that he was incorrect, and people should follow me instead. But I was ignored, being female and all. And I hadn’t done military service, so obviously, I was missing some kind of navigating skills. So I said, “See ya,” and left the group unencumbered by dude-funk. Can you guess what happened? Yep, the group got lost under the leadership of the humble Prince, and I sat outside the embassy waiting for them for an annoyingly long time.
Moral of the story: Never follow a man or trust what he says about his abilities or knowledge. First, in his over-confidence and general self-delusion, he always knows less than he lets on and a woman will always have to fix whatever problem he creates. And second, males have little consideration for safety and other practical issues only a woman will think about.
I digress slightly. This is actually a post about geography and problems with dudes.
So in my love of geography and learning, I find myself taking little geography quizzes online. I made it my mission to know all of the 196 countries of the world and where they are located (I include Taiwan in this total, having lived there for a few years and having discovered how much it pisses the Chinese off when you tell them they don’t own Taiwan…). Recently, I found myself taking a country factoid quiz and was faced with the following question:
What is the only country with over 90% male citizenship?
I hesitated for a second, as my mind briefly flashed to one of those gun-toting American survivalist groups declaring an independent state. But then I realized they like rape too much, so there is no way they’d shack up officially with so many dudes. So, it had to be gay dudes or religious dudes. Or both!
Vatican City
Yes, that was it. Vatican City, the citizen (not resident) count of which is somewhere under 600. Under 6% of these citizens are female.
Now, personally, I don’t care if men want to form their own male-only countries provided there are serious protections in place against human (i.e., female) trafficking. I’m perfectly fine with separatism as a concept in practice. Male violence can be confined to its own petri dish, and women can be left out of it altogether. And if the dudes can tap into their natural gay selves (all dudes are omnisexual and thus can choose to be gay), all the better for women!
Gayest uniform ever. He can probably kill you with the slightest touch of his pinkie finger, but the costume is classic for an all-male country…
So, Vatican City is the closest thing to what I’m talking about, and their set-up works for them. I argue that it only works as well as it does because it is not completely male. There are a number of non-citizen females who support the city-state both as non-resident workers and as resident ‘support’ of resident males. Further, Vatican City is a highly respected independent state, greatly funded by the larger Christian world population. As well, nobody attacks them – even Muslim terrorists, despite their chest-beating – because any attackers would essentially be waging war on the entire Western world. Also, no one questions their uber-sexist, backwards, religious worldview. They are essentially allowed to function unmolested in hypocrisy and idiocy without a homegrown army (note: the relatively small contingent of super-faggily-dressed Swiss Guard Pope-protectors (see above) would be no match for a modern military assault), and draws in major tourist dollars from a peaceful, but brainwashed, crowd of Christian sheep.
So here is my question: why can’t women create their own internationally recognized and respected women-only, non-religious ‘Vatican City’? Why don’t women WANT this?
The answer is actually quite simple. Despite the fact that women-only city-states make a great deal of sense, even if women demanded them, they would not be allowed to exist. And to be honest, I think there are actually a number of women who would go for this kind of set-up if it were a possibility. But a female Vatican City would be under constant attack by men. Why? Well, all-women communities tend to be high-functioning and non-hierarchical. While girls are taught to believe from birth that they cannot exist without men, the opposite is actually true. Women function better when no men are present. And when men are faced with the reality that they are unnecessary or obsolete, they not only can’t handle it intellectually, but they feel they must retaliate with violence and try to put a stop to female success and independence. A classic, small-scale case of this actually exists in Kenya in the village of Umoja, which was founded nearly 30 years ago by women and girls fleeing from the male violence inevitable under forced heterosexuality, and has persisted despite several different kinds of attacks by men facing their own inadequacy.
In the West, women have not been so lucky. We are at a point where even women-only events and static non-living spaces have not only come under attack, but have been infiltrated and even erased by men, backed by changed laws and hard core violence. It is not unreasonable to say that Western women have as little freedom today as do women in many countries that are supposedly more ‘backward’ or less ‘progressive’. But when you tell Western women they are so privileged and free, they tend not to stand up for themselves and instead feel guilt at how lucky they are… Anyhow, no matter where you are in the world, it is hard to imagine women successfully creating their own women-only permanent living and working community, nevermind a separate city-state or country, and remaining unviolated by men. Unlike the men of Vatican City, these women-only countries would not have the backing and respect of the world.
But wouldn’t it be fantastic? The idea of having an untainted, demarcated space (city) without a single male – even boy-children – demanding your attention and energy and hyper-vigilance. A country where you wouldn’t have to live in fear. Where you could walk alone, unafraid, at any hour of the day. Where you could sleep under the stars without worrying about getting raped or kidnapped. Where you don’t need locks on your doors. Where you don’t have to get married and agree to be raped for decades and decades by a single man in order to be ‘protected’ from being raped by all the others or to be economically secure enough to avoid having to become a hooker to feed yourself. Where female friendship actually means something and is reliable and stable. Where the concept of family is replaced by something less fragile and dangerous and more inclusive. Where women can finally find their natural selves…
[This post is part of the Year of the Fantasy series…]
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Isolating Women
I’ve spent all of my adult life trying to foster sisterhood through various means in different settings. Despite it being something I have always craved and needed, it has always been, continues to be, and likely will always be a Sisyphean endeavour.
Why?
I’ve come to realize that not only are all females around the world trained from birth to mistrust, hate and betray other females in order to receive crumbs of power and affection mingled with abuse from males, but the vast majority of women have no interest in changing this sad and unnatural dynamic.
The system is such that any woman who seeks to fight against it is more likely to be destroyed by other women than by the masters (men) themselves. Men design the system and pull the strings. The women do the dirty work, destroying one another through isolation and the subsequent stripping of power that can only come through the strength in numbers that a sisterhood would offer. It’s a slick move on the part of men. Despite being the puppet masters, most men see the cock proxy evil that women do to other women as evidence of female cruelty rather than brainwashing and fear of repercussions. All evil regimes have been run this way. Nazis, for example, put Jewish representatives in charge of the day-to-day abuse of fellow Jews in the ghettos and camps to avoid getting their hands dirty and create mistrust among members of the group itself. Under any such regime based on fear and violence, the victims then focus on the traitors within their own class, learn to mistrust one another, seek to betray one another in order to gain favour with and avoid punishment from the master class, and all the while, the true powers that be continue to reap the benefits, tsk-tsk’ing over the pettiness and ‘innate’ nastiness of the underclass or slave class. I mean seriously, how often have you heard men comment on the petty cruelty of how women treat each other? And they are correct in so far as it is the only way women can interact with each other ‘safely’ under Patriarchal rule.
So, how are women isolated from one another? How is sisterhood discouraged? How do women pick on one another in order to curry favour with their be-penised overlords? In a system built on sex-based discrimination, isolation is tied to female deviation from sex-oriented norms. The less you follow traditional sex role requirements, the more you are isolated from other women and the less power and voice you have. Thus, not using your vagina or uterus, or following the rules that a god or nature men and men alone have laid out for us is grounds for dismissal and hate. Men already create isolation for women based on race, but of course, as we all know, race is a discrimination that arises solely from sexism and the male coveting and control of the pussy and uteri within one’s group and the punishment of men of other groups through the pussy and uteri that other group owns. It’s all about woman-hate and without it, there is no racism. Women bear the burden of racism and the blame for racism. Men of different races are more likely to bond over woman-hate than women of different races are to bond over rape and other woman-torture by men. Sisterhood across race is hard to achieve as a result. Thanks to patriarchal design.
But back to traditional pussy-use and the punishment of women who rebel by women who comprise the cowardly, brainwashed majority. And yes, there is no bravery in complying with what men want. Remember that. To chalk hating and destroying other women and engaging in pro-Patriarchy, anti-woman rituals and traditions up to ‘survival’ is bullshit and apologism at its worst. Call it what it really is: cowardice and ignorance through and through.
While ultimately, men are responsible for turning women into woman-haters, I do hold women responsible for what they do to others. Being abused is never an excuse for ‘paying it forward’ to people who don’t deserve your hate. I’d much rather see women attacking men than other women. But alas, that is not the situation.
Childlessness
Despite what you may think, there is no group of women more hated and isolated than the childless, especially the childless by choice. Non-breeding is the absolute worst crime a woman can commit in any society as it is a direct denial of the accepted definition of woman as Cunt-on-Legs and as Uterus. To refuse to use the vagina and uterus as traditionalists mandate is to somehow deny womanhood and scare the living shit out of men and the women who service them. The childless woman can be partially forgiven if she is physically unable to have children. Her crime is usually accompanied by constant pleas for forgiveness on the basis that she “wishes she could have children” and she “loves children so, so much”. But those women who choose not to breed for whatever reason? They are deemed deserving of unspeakable punishment on several levels, and this is true in all societies, all cultures and in every race. Her choice renders her not just sub-human, but non-human. Unnatural. Selfish. Demonic. Evil. Suspect. A destroyer of cultures and races. Someone who deprives men of their birthright. And an uppity bitch who denigrates the sacred, mystical, goddess-like status of motherhood. I can tell you from a lifetime of tedious, repetitive experience that the cruelty and dehumanization done to non-breeding women by breeding women is constant, even though breeding women often try to paint themselves as the ultimate victims. Breeding women have much more power and acceptance and social, legal and economic rewards than non-breeding women, even when they are horrible, neglectful and/or abusive mothers who became pregnant by accident, who hate children, or who had children because they want unconditional love from a powerless someone who can’t escape them (at least for a handful of years). I’ve experienced a lifetime of a parade of cast-iron pots calling a stainless steel kettle black.
Most non-breeders-by-choice also beg for forgiveness like the officially barren, but they also tend to have the mindset instilled in them through brainwashing from birth that they are selfish. I went through this myself. I used to apologize to breeders, if you can believe it, by telling them “I’m too selfish to be a mother.” I feel sick to my stomach when I remember these masochistic sessions where the breeder would look down her nose at me, and I would show my shame and embarrassment at my clear immaturity and general horribleness. I realize now that choosing not to breed is the opposite of selfish, especially because I am crystal clear on the many selfless reasons I have chosen not to breed. And further, life has been so much harder in so many ways that breeders cannot contemplate, and will make old age extraordinarily difficult. Data do show that single, childless, elderly women tend to be among the poorest and most in danger in any society. Men in the same predicament are almost always taken care of by some woman/women and are economically better off. Women either tend not to expect help (especially if they are brainwashed into believing they are selfish bitches) nor do they receive offers of help from men or women (especially if society believes they are selfish bitches). Men are always taken care of regardless of their choices in life or how much abuse they dish out and regardless of whether they ask for help or not.
Non-breeding women don’t benefit in the work world like breeding and non-breeding men do. They are still women, and are treated as such, but without the social, legal and economic rewards of motherhood and often marital status. They don’t get promotions or higher pay, even if they have more education or experience. They don’t get equivalent, paid time off, say, to take a class that breeding women get for maternity leave. I would love equivalent time off to benefit myself (not a vacation, but an academic sabbatical, say) in the way that breeding women do and have my job waiting for me when I get back. Data show that employers (especially female employers) don’t trust non-breeding women and don’t want to hire them as they are ‘unnatural’ in some way. I can’t count how many times I’ve shown up for a new, professional job only to be asked if I have children right from the start. No one asks me about my actual achievements, how hard I busted my ass for my stellar academic achievements, or my actual contributions to society. I’ve never received a pile of gifts or been thrown a party for any of my three university degrees or other real achievements or contributions to society. No, a woman’s vaginal ‘achievements’, even if they are ‘achieved’ when passed out drunk or done standing up in a bathroom stall, are the only important thing of note in the workplace and warrant gifts and congratulations from the workplace, family and society. My teenaged pregnant sister knocked up by a drug dealer managed to score years of government welfare as well as three high-yield baby showers. I never received a single gift for busting my ass during 10 years of university. My sister now owns a house in an expensive city, has four kids and a husband, and a sweet high-paying union job with a pension, and I make $12,000 per year, with no retirement or pension in sight… I will literally be working until I die, and that is not an exaggeration.
After answering the vagina question that I don’t have children, I am put into that “piece of shit” category. Non-breeding women are often given the harder and crappier jobs, and in some professions, the more dangerous jobs, as well as longer hours for the same pay as their lives are seen as valueless – no one is depending on them, therefore their lives are worth nothing. They are often expected to cover for breeding female workers when the latter take off to deal with child problems. The former don’t receive extra pay for doing extra work, and the latter don’t lose pay for skipping out for personal business.
To conclude, the very word ‘childless’ is itself discriminatory and isolating to women, as if not having a child means you are less, missing or lacking something. Child-free is a newly adopted term that women in this situation have reacted with. I’m not sure what the correct way of seeing it is. I’m not sure I care all that much. I just wish I were treated with as much respect as breeding women, and that these insecure and venomous people would realize that they live on the top of the shit heap where women are forced to live, but seem to accept.
Femininity and Attractiveness
When women eschew beauty rituals, they are punished. They are punished more by women than men. Honestly, despite what tabloids say, all women can score a man if they are not picky. Men will literally fuck anything. See this post if you don’t believe me. And weird fetishes are almost exclusively the domain of men. If you have something gross or weird or unappealing or embarrassing about you, there is a man or group of men out there who will get off on your issue and will fuck you silly. You do not have to be beautiful to get laid. There is no such status as ‘incel’ for women. Men talk loudly about perfect 10’s in order to keep women feeling insecure and distracted and diverting limited resources into stupid shit, but the reality is that as long as they are not expected to treat you as human or equal (and really, most women are willing to accept being treated as sub-human – that is how we are brainwashed), it really doesn’t matter what you look like.
So, if you are not complying with the perfect 10 femininity bullshit that men don’t actually care about, most of the punishment you will get will come from women who do comply. Even among feminists online, there are constant, insane and nasty wars between women who comply with femininity and who are ironically super insecure about their real appearance, and actual feminists who can’t believe so many women are still so brainwashed. The number of women who say they are feminists and that complying with brutal and degrading femininity rituals and submissive behaviour is a matter of ‘survival’ or (for fuck sake) an actual feminist act is saddening and maddening. These women, even feminists, will attack other women relentlessly for even questioning woman-hating behaviour. Honestly, men must laugh. Women spend so much energy punishing each other for things that in reality don’t matter that much to men. Despite what men might say, they’ll still make use your vagina even if you don’t shave your pudendum or your legs.
On a more serious note, women have made such an industry out of perpetuating femininity rituals, that little changes in places that matter, such as workplaces. If women could let go of this idiocy, women might actually move forward professionally with so much more mental energy to devote to their betterment than to stupid stuff that doesn’t matter to anyone. As a woman who doesn’t feminize, almost all of my punishment and abuse has come from women. I wrote a post on this type of situation here, where all of my female students criticized my appearance when asked for personal suggestions (note: I didn’t ask specifically for suggestions on my appearance). The male students, interestingly didn’t comment at all on my appearance, not that males are innocent. They have other things they do to degrade me and other women. Women just tend to be responsible for most of the petty punishments and criticisms and trying to force women to participate in their own slavery to men.
Lesbianism
It’s hard to determine the order of worst lady-offences. The worst one is easy, as I mentioned. Not having children is the absolute worst crime a woman can commit. Lesbianism is Number 2 as long as it is paired with non-conformity to femininity. A lot of lesbians are still huge woman haters and adopt whore-face (perform femininity). Some try to call it ‘survival’, which is lame bullshit or a ‘feminist act’, which is dumb bullshit. Seriously? Wearing lipstick and heels is not a feminist act. It is slave behaviour that gets you head pats, and if you are a lesbian, performing femininity is an act of cowardice that serves only to let you ‘pass’. I’ve read feminine lesbians who criticize bisexuals for the same issues that apply to them. Bisexuality – a label I clung to for years before realizing a) I am not attracted to men, and b) it was ridiculous in an age where sexuality is political, despite the fact that it shouldn’t be an issue at all – lets women ‘pass’ in a society that rewards heterosexuality, and gets lesbians raped, beaten or killed. You can be a lezzer when you need lesbians to approve of you and then switch over when you’re in danger. Whether you agree or not (who cares…?), it’s the equivalent of a political flip-flop. Lesbians who feminize are essentially doing the same thing. Femininity performance is a political decision in a world that rewards cock-pleasing, and that shouldn’t be an issue at all. The only reason sexuality and femininity are even issues, and political ones at that, are because men exist and women’s status (which is always on the slave continuum) is tied to the forced belief that their very lives are dependent on how and whether they conform on these issues.
Some lesbians can’t hide, even if they put a dress on (think k.d. lang, for example). I absolutely don’t like the term ‘butch’ as it often goes with a version of woman-hate that requires the same feminine/masculine dichotomy that men demand, but I’ll use it here as people know what it refers to. Butch lesbians and lesbians who can’t hide their gayness under a layer of whore paint and silk are punished. They are punished by men, but they are also punished relentlessly by women who cowardly conform and who serve men. They are excluded from how women describe the range of womanhood expression. They are held in suspicion and women will assume something is wrong with them because they aren’t sporting pumps and push-up bras and making out with dudes. They are excluded from television and film, except when serving as a joke or predator (2-dimensional roles served up by men and woman-hating women who desperately want a job in a male-dominated field). Women fear and hate their own vaginas, in general, so to be faced with a woman who so clearly doesn’t have the same fears and hates must be terrifying. But overt lesbians also remind us that heterosexuality is not natural for women; they hold the mirror up, and we react with fear of what we are missing (peace, safety, love) when we erroneously choose men and a life of consensual rape and servitude. We react to being terrified by lashing out, as long as the target is deemed safe enough to attack. Women seldom attack the true threat (men) because men are more likely retaliate (beat, kill, rape) than women are. Lesbians are easy to attack and punish. (More on this in this post and this post.)
Unmarried Status
Yet again this week, I found myself forced to defend myself to an incredulous young Chinese woman that I am not married. I don’t even bother mentioning that I’m not attracted to men at all, as brain matter would be sprayed around the room and I’d be forced to clean that up. It is China, where gay people don’t officially exist, and I don’t want to lose my high paying job… (ha ha) or be arrested by the police, which is a possibility. Several times a year, I am forced to answer why I am not married nor have I ever been married. I would sincerely love to retaliate with “Why are you content to be a whore?” or “Why do you love to suck cock?” or “Have you negotiated a reasonable price for the lifetime sale of your cunt?”, but in public, I am a ‘nice’ person and I need to keep a few pleasant and helpful relationships, even if they are all based on me wearing a mask. Don’t we all wear masks in some settings…? I’d rather force myself to wear my ‘nice’ mask than wear whore-face, especially in a tropical climate! I save my straight talk for my blog, and that is enough. I don’t claim to be an activist. I don’t have the support for that, nor do I have a martyr complex or a desire to be physically hurt more than I have been in my life.
But seriously, I wish cowardly, fake-straight-bitches would stop asking me why I haven’t sold myself to a man. I am sick of women who are too afraid to be real with themselves, to ask themselves serious questions, and to fight against brainwashing. China is, of course, brainwashing central. All traditional, pseudo-religious countries are, but even in more progressive countries, very, very few people are willing to answer questions honestly. Even in the more aggressive West, very few people are willing to honestly answer the question: why do we say women need to be protected (one of the number one justifications for marriage)? Almost no one will say: MEN ARE THE PROBLEM, THE DANGER, THE CAUSE OF ALL WOMEN’S FEARS. Even in the West, marriage is seeing a resurgence, and strangely, the average age of marriage is lowering. Not sure what is going on there, but it is creepy and weird. It feels desperate. We are living in an age where people are more heavily masked than ever before, I feel, because of social media, the desire to be famous, and stay young forever. Completely constructed. Little feels real among the young these days. Will we ever face reality? If not, straight talk like the problem with marriage cannot happen, and those who fail to conform will pay the price.
Education and Intelligence
A former professor remarked to me a few years ago that as highly educated women, we were considerably more alone than the average woman. Now she has boy children and she is fake-straight (there is no such thing as a naturally straight woman, imo), and she conforms to femininity, so she really has no idea how far ‘alone’ can become for a woman. Try being non-straight, non-feminine, and a non-breeder!!! Anyhow, not only are highly educated women hard to find in work environments (unless you work in a professional, female-dominated field), but the few that are there seldom bond with one another. Frequently, they engage in nasty behaviour with one another in order to climb what ends up being a much shorter ladder with smaller pinnacles available than that provided to men of all races in the same environment. In the rare event that a woman holds power in a work environment, she is often ‘in good’ with male colleagues and is less likely to help or even be fair to female underlings. Unlike with men throughout time, including today, there is no such thing as a girls’ club where women help each other achieve regardless of merit. Further, women are more likely to hate and criticize female bosses and other powerful, intelligent, accomplished and educated women than they are male counterparts. Instead of supporting one another, they tend to ‘cunt out’ on each other (see my post on my redefinition of lady-slurs – I’d prefer the words not to exist, but I’d like to achieve what black men have achieved with the N-word).
I remember this nasty, rich, black bitch in grad school in the US. I’m Canadian, so in my early 20’s, I had little practical experience with American racial dynamics. I was nice to everyone, and found the frequent nasty treatment by educated, non-white women pretty fucked up. Anyhow, I’d say hi to everyone in the hallways, just as a typical, friendly Canadian usually does. And this rich bitch would look down her nose at me and say nothing. Then one day, she showed up in my office and demanded I help her out with her statistics – she was a clinical psychology student (perfect for the profession, eh?) and she hadn’t learned not to piss off the statistics majors as we were the go-to experts for all the other majors when they couldn’t figure out how to deal with their research data. I looked at her and told her I was too busy. I do wish I could go back and explain what she had done wrong, thus teaching her a crucial lesson – don’t fuck over other women, regardless of race; we fucking NEED each other – but I was too young in my feminism at the time to help women learn fundamental truths. I was still learning myself! I have made up for it since, don’t worry. Sadly, this chick moved on to the black guy in my lab and turned on the pussy charm. She faked sexual interest in him and OF COURSE he helped her. This is how women of the patriarchy work. She ditched him after he did her work for her. And he was likely bummed out that she didn’t put out as payment for his help. She got what she wanted and she never spoke to me again. Now that is a cunt move that I’m proud to say I have NEVER pulled. Even when I was still claiming bisexuality. I have never screwed over another woman whether of my own race/ethnicity or otherwise, and I have never sided with a dude to screw over a woman. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve created ‘Girls’ Clubs’ wherever I’ve studied or worked. I’ve organized women’s events. I write letters of reference for female students if they need them and pass on contacts and connections for jobs. I make every effort to foster confidence in young women. But I have also learned to spot bitches and cunts (if you didn’t go back to my link, that means a women who DELIBERATELY hurts other women – it has nothing to do with hurting men, unlike how men have defined the word), and I avoid them like the plague of patriarchal brainwashing that they are.
I think women hurt each other at all levels of education, work and intelligence, but the higher up you go, the more men you are forced to compete with. Most women see an advantage in cozying up to men to get ahead, and thus developing a sweet little case of Stockholm Syndrome, and the few females that are around tend not to have enough direct and individual power to further another woman’s career. The men who have the power often put women into direct social and professional competition with one another. And so women begin to see other women as either useless or a threat, and as a result, they fail to bond significantly, even though it would actually be to their benefit in several ways if they did so.
Conclusion
It is no wonder that women have such volatile relationships with each other. Isolation is a significant threat that all women live with. Step out of line, fail to follow patriarchy’s demands, and they suddenly find themselves ganged up on by the majority of women who are too weak, brainwashed and cowardly to fight or even question the system. [I’ve since written a post on friendship that will also help explain why women end up isolated from each other.]
I wouldn’t say that ignorance is bliss, but it certainly makes navigating a violent and threatening system much easier. Just put your faith in the overlords that rape you with your consent in return for protection from the overlords who might rape you without your consent. And punish your fellow slaves who might dare to rebel through various means of isolation. You must. You see, they can only threaten you if they are allowed to bond and then grow too great in number to keep your comfortable life of servitude peacefully unchallenged…
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