Blog Archives
O is for Offensive
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
It seems like these days
~ John Rich, from his dumb song “I’m Offended”.
No matter what ya say
Someone’s losin’ their ever lovin’ mind
It’s like they’re lookin’ for a reason
To have their fragile feelings
Hurt every single time
No offense John Rich, but your song is kinda dumb and a bit reductionist. The first few lines, which I included here, have a ring of truth to them, probably by accident, but I don’t believe that this is a recent phenomenon – and I’ll get into that later. I didn’t include the rest of the song, but I’ll just say that I think Johnny-boy missed something crucial. It is entirely possible that he doesn’t know what ‘offended’ means – I mean, it’s country music, which notoriously caters to simple thinkers and religious hypocrites, and he is a male, which means he’ll never be censored, even if he is truly offensive (which he is – don’t watch the video for this song). And besides, his man-solution is to pour beer on the entire problem, so how seriously can you take this song anyway? In my experience, alcohol makes everything worse, especially in combination with an emotional male.
So what does ‘offensive’ actually mean and is there some kind of objective universal standard for determining whether you should be offended or whether you are just oversensitive?
As a basic definition, to be offensive means to inspire feelings of extreme anger, insult or disrespect in another person or group of people. The offensive content could be as casual as a comment or behaviour, or as official as an article or book, a piece of art, or a policy. Note that offending a single person in a private setting and offending people, usually strangers, publicly are a little bit different, even if the word used is the same, and I’ll get into both of them later. For both situations, however, I’ll say here that offensive status is subjective – feelings are subjective, by definition, as we all know. But for general public offense, it is the public majority that defines that which is offensive. Note that even if the majority believes something is true or moral, doesn’t make it so. So a person who offends the general public may in fact be correct in what they say, highly moral, and contributes more to the greater good. The majority may rule, but it doesn’t necessarily make them good people or correct in what they believe and do.
So let’s break this down into giving offense and taking offense.
Giving Offense
Intentional Provocation. There are those in this world who enjoy riling people up by saying inflammatory things. These are mostly men and say, the occasional NPD woman – those who need to antagonize in order to feel a sense of power and control over others. Males are generally untouchable when they say things to deliberately hurt people, and interestingly and unsurprisingly, they also comprise the vast majority of people who tend to comment on and complain about people being offended. Men often comment on their victims using terms like ‘oversensitive’ or having ‘fragile feelings’, and this is typical of people who are untouched by oppression and who lack empathy and insight. Personally, I don’t think oppressors and perpetrators of crime should be defining the offensive acts and actual crimes they commit. For example, rapists shouldn’t be defining what rape is and is not, and males should not be dictating how females react to offensive and antagonistic male comments and behaviour.
Unintentional Offensiveness. Every single one of us offends at least one person some time in our lives without meaning to. That seems to be the nature of complex human interaction, and it is usually due to either misunderstanding, ignorance, or just a difference of opinions for the average offended reaction. And of course, we all know actual oversensitive people – yes, that does exist – so it is always possible to say something innocuous and have it offend someone who is reacting based on a personal trauma or mental health issues.
The important thing here is to deal with the offense you’ve given in an appropriate way. If you actually said something inflammatory out of ignorance, then the best policy is to apologize and learn from it. But much of the time, the unintentional offense-giving is not worth that much attention, especially if you’re a woman. Like I said earlier, people can get offended at just about anything, so unless you either want to shut up completely or to spend your entire life apologizing for everything you say and do, it’s best just to put on a brave face and hold your ground. The best policy is to be aware of whom you’re speaking to, and only speak about things you know about. This tends to be a big problem for men, as they tend to bullshit and make things up in order to cover up their insecurity, gain control over situations, and garner admiration from other people. Hint to all men: you have two ears, but only one mouth. You seldom use the former and overuse the latter. Please fix.
A note on offense-giving. Sometimes, it is not the content, but the speaker that makes the material offensive, and this is shown most clearly in reactions to male and female speech. A male and female can say the same thing, and only the female will inspire offense. Female speech will provoke a greater and more violent reaction than will male speech. A female will experience more serious consequences for less provocative speech than will a male. If you cross even slightly provocative speech with female status, not only will people be offended, but threats and other violence can ensue. We see this all the time with women who call themselves feminists. Feminists are universally hated, and are always considered ‘offensive’ by the majority of the population, although ‘offensive’ is the very least of what they are called and what is done to them.
Taking Offense
The Legit. Yes, offense is real, but as I said, there is no objective standard. It makes it difficult to know whether your feelings are legitimate, and of course, it is therefore easier to be manipulated by the more powerful if you choose to let people know your feelings. If you’re offended by a person you know, this is little easier because you should have some defined parameters of mutual respect within your relationship. It might, however, be difficult to address your feelings with the person, especially if your relationship involves a power imbalance. If you are offended by public material, there is not much you can do about it, especially if you are in the minority. For example, the majority of people may accept femininity and the assorted practices women adhere to religiously, but you, as a gynocentrist find femininity rituals offensive because they force women into a position of subservience and humiliation. Even if you are 100% correct in feeling offended, you are in the minority. Voicing your opinion will bring a rain a heterosexual shit down on you, mostly from women who enjoy their slavery, sadly. So what can you do? Well, you have a choice. You, of course, can do nothing – just accept that which you cannot change and keep doing what you’re doing. Or, you can voice your opinion without giving into the majority. Write articles, make videos or podcasts. Ignore those who will try to take you down and provide logical arguments for why the material is offensive. You may actually help a few people, even if you can’t take the offensive practices down.
The Woke. I hate this word with a passion, but it is what it is… I’m talking about politically and socially motivated people who feel a need to react to everything. Sometimes there is a kernel of reality in their feelings and reactions, but then they take things too far. I’m talking about people who, one day, for whatever reason, start to see reality, but then they start to colour everything with their new political viewpoint. They muster up offense, tears and anger for absolutely everything, and start attributing causes and motivations for these things, where often none, or something completely different, exist. They may have started with good intentions, but they end up getting caught up in looking good instead of doing good. Unfortunately, a lot of these types have set their sights on feminists in recent days and have done a lot of damage in erasing feminist material on the internet.
The Oversensitive. Unfortunately, there are truly fragile people out there – people who suffer from a mental illness, or who have been deeply traumatized in life. But also unfortunately, these people often like to hang out in public forums where they are exposed to all the garbage the internet has to offer. Now, men will tell them that they should get the hell off the internet if they can’t handle the turds that men drop. While I don’t agree with this and think it is disgusting that men dictate the environment of the net, I do question the desire of a fragile person to put themselves deliberately in places where they know damn well they will be hurt or ‘triggered’. Anyhow, legitimately fragile people tend to be offended regularly, and when they choose to enter feminist circles, they can do a lot of damage when they lose control. I wrote a little about this in a post on Oppression Olympians.
The Cognitively Dissonant. These are the folks who can’t handle the truth, and I myself tend to fall prey to them as I am an unrepentant truth-teller. They tend to claim offensiveness when really, they are just having a hard time dealing with the fact that their beliefs and actions don’t match or they feel guilty about something they do. Note that there is a difference between telling an unnecessary truth in order to harm someone (for example, something men do to women all the time to take them down a notch), and telling a truth because it is really important for the dissection of faulty thinking, lies, and misleading information. A lot of gynocentrists and even liberal feminists fall victim to accusations of disrespect and offensiveness when they dare to question a patriarchal practice, when really, all they are doing is pointing out a truth that makes people uncomfortable.
Are We More Fragile?
I’m going to say yes and no here. I think it is quite possible that people may have been more easily offended in the past. I can’t speak for cultures outside the West, but it seems that there were so many more social rules in the past than there are now, and you could cause offense and destroy your social standing by simply wearing the wrong outfit or addressing a person in the wrong way. But of course, these days, we are all very socially aware, and it is equally possible to be destroyed by very simple words or actions. So while standards of acceptable behaviour have changed, the ‘fragility’ of our feelings probably hasn’t.
But of course, it seems we are more fragile these days, which is why so many people, especially men, comment on it. Like with many social phenomena, loneliness being one that I’ve commented on before, I think media and social media have helped to highlight both the phenomena and the things that we are supposed to care about. And of course, with media, and social media especially, what we hear about is very sensational and misinformed. Things get blown out of proportion and people get emotional because they are told that they should in order to be a good citizen or on the right side of history or something like that.
The take-home message here is that offense-giving and offense-taking are real things, and it is a normal result of complex human relationships and communication, and sometimes, power imbalances. It’s probably a good idea to sleep on something that offends you before you decide to react to it. And finally, it is also a really good idea to question why you are offended by something. Is it an issue you have that is triggered or is it a legitimate social or political issue that requires you to speak out?
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It’s That Time Again: Black Dicks Matter Month
I’ve seen variations on the following theme increasingly on the internet and once or twice in person (it would be more if the pandemic didn’t limit outdoor interaction and if I were more socially inclined).
I’ve been back in the West for a little over a year-and-a-half, and things have gotten wildly out of control thanks to the liberally insane. I posted on my experience with BDM last year in California and the complete and utterly deafening silence of the Women’s History Month that followed Black History Month. I’m still left wondering whether it’s because a) we erase women’s history, so there is nothing to celebrate, or b) black males can’t accept that there are people more oppressed than they are, or c) trannies have completely taken over womanhood and won’t allow any kind of attention paid to XX because to do so would be to lit-er-al-ly murder them en masse. Probably all three. Regardless, censorship is alive and well in the West. And speaking of censorship, if I get electronically erased by posting this, you can still find me occasionally on Saidit BPF . I don’t allow comments here and thus don’t get a lot of traffic, so I am probably less of a threat than other writers, but you don’t know these days… Just always remember who actually has the power in this world (hint: it is not the people being systematically and swiftly censored – aka women who don’t support the liberal or conservative male agenda – they are the same thing, really). Language and who gets to control it is the ultimate show of power. Note that in the comic strip below, the character playing the ‘target’ (the white female) doesn’t represent anything I’ve ever seen in person or online (i.e., I’ve never seen a white woman stand up to a black male before and question his supremacy over her). The other characters, however, are depictions of what is actually going on. You have ALL witnessed it at least once. I shouldn’t need to spell that out, but if that were true, this post would have never crossed my mind. Just tired of the lies.
White females are not responsible for the sad state of the world, despite how liberals (and me in a fun post) have re-written history to make it appear. Wake the fuck up. Men need to take responsibility for what they have done and continue to do, and women really need to stop policing other women and supporting the oppressive male agenda, which includes group-specific censorship, and hate speech against women (and especially, white women).
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The Moment I Realized I Wasn’t A Liberal
As a methodologist and measurement specialist, I’ve spent a fair amount of time thinking about data and human characteristics and the goals of assessment. There really are very few true dichotomies, and thus little actual binary, categorical data. You’d never guess that from looking at the way people think, speak and act. Everything is yes/no, on/off – one or the other. Black and white issues. That is how the world is seen by most. Another false dichotomy, thanks mostly to Americans and their simplistic two-party political system, is the whole liberal/conservative mess. Unfortunately, the parties are often equated to general orientation, and much of the rest of the world has sort of adopted this dichotomous way of approaching and labelling issues. I think the orientations spend so much time opposing one another that thinking has been eliminated from argument formation. It’s just reactionary polarities – highly emotional responses to opponents. This kind of false dichotomy solves nothing, but rather, creates numerous problems.
There are a few dichotomies that cannot be argued with. Pregnancy is a true dichotomy (i.e., your life is ruined vs. phew! that last rape didn’t stick). Another, which has been completely eroded by liberals and mentally ill trannie dudes, and which shockingly has even people in my line of specialization completely brainwashed, is biological sex. Except for a few anomalies (anomalies meaning, not the standard normal thing, and thus not interfering with the true dichotomy), people are either XX – female, or XY – male. Gender is not a replacement for or synonym for sex, and it means something entirely different, with a well-established definition that functioned as well as a definition should (as well an enforced sociological tool/weapon). But the days of rational thought seem to be lost in the past and the age of woman-erasing agenda has forced its way in like a penis in the act of rape. Gender is here to stay, despite feminist opposition.
I’ve never really felt like I could categorize myself, ideologically speaking. I’ve always had some views that might be considered to be ‘conservative’, although I would cringe to be called that. For example, I am staunchly pro-capital punishment, although for rapists and/or serial killers of women, only. Is that conservative? I doubt other conservatives would agree with me because my view is woman-focused. For example, I don’t give a shit if men kill other men or if gays forcibly sodomize one another. But I’m so tired of everyone feeling sorry for rapists.
And I have views that might be considered to be ‘liberal’, although these days, it is just as much of an insult as ‘conservative’ is. For example, if I could vote in the US, I would have voted Rodham-Clinton – not because I think she is a top-notch candidate, or in any way, shape or form a feminist – because girls need to see that it is possible to have a female president. It is time. It is hard to take the complaints of black men seriously, when a) they were given the vote decades before all women, and b) they achieved presidency before any woman, including supposedly privileged white women, who are still actually slaves. The message is loud and clear. When females can see that a woman can be president, then girls will aim higher in life. Future candidates will get better. Start with any candidate, and work up from there. Girls will dream realistic dreams, and as women, will throw their hats in the ring. Blacks were inspired because of Obama. When the fuck will girls and women be inspired? Their inspiration right now is a president who PUBLICLY made a declaration of war against women by making a threatening rape call-to-arms (-dicks). Rape is a common form of torture used on women owned by the enemy troops during war, so to make a statement about attacking women’s ‘pussies’ is tantamount to a war cry. That women responded by knitting stupid hats and not bringing charges of hate speech against the guilty party demonstrated to me that women are asleep at the wheel. And definitely not inspired. Complacent with where they have been put in the great hierarchy. No inspiration for women in the US, when all they can muster up while under threat is a pair of fucking knitting needles – and not for jabbing in the gonads, I might add.
But in the distant past, I was probably more aligned with liberal thinking than I am now. I had some good radical feminist ideas, but sprinkled therein, was some of the lib-fem bullshit that we hear today and that has been designed for female use by ‘nice guy’ leftie men, and swallowed by women eager to both please and to appear edgy and ‘with it’. In the past, though, liberal thinkers were not quite so out in space then as they are now. I mean seriously, people have really lost the plot. I recently got back from a very short trip to Washington DC and environs, and I suppose it is because I am not immersed in American (or Western) craziness on a day-to-day basis, but I see things just getting worse and worse every time I go back for a visit. It was my first visit post-Trumpocalypse. Friends at my old university mentioned that they had to bring counsellors in for the students post-election. I was a little surprised by that one for some very complicated reasons I couldn’t understand right away. I thought my school was conservative? I also heard liberal (ha ha) usage of the word ‘racism’ and ‘bitch’, both of which were disturbing. Misogyny is actually the biggest problem facing the US (and all countries), and people are ignoring the real issues, focusing instead on the easy stuff. I think women are very confused about what misogyny is. They are also confused about what feminism is. Women are focused on strange things, and IMO, the wrong things. As it is, the whole movement seems… fucked up. Yeah, that’s the technical word for it.
Anyhow, that visit, and some of the weird shit women are writing about each other on the net got me to thinking about liberalism and how it is destroying the world. Note, that I am not suggesting that conservatism is the way to go. Those fuckers are dangerous, but in a more predictable way, and can thus be fought easily – not that women have any intention of fighting anything that requires more than hat-knitting… I’ve seen a lot of feminists doing some disturbing conservative cock-sucking recently online. Again, the problem when you only see things dichotomously. If not A, then B. Wrong! Because there are C and D and E.
,I remember when I was in grad school for the second time about 10 years ago. I had some really interesting female friends. One of them was this really great woman from India who was doing her PhD in some kind of engineering field. And I remember her telling me something that flipped a switch in my mostly liberal mind. She said to me: you Western women think you are much freer than we are in India, but you are just as enslaved as we are. Perhaps worse. It just manifests in a different way. You can’t or won’t see it. But from outside your countries, we see it.
I didn’t say much at the time, but I did spend a lot of time thinking about that insight. Thanks to the hatred heaped upon white women in Western countries and the self-hate that arises from that, I had learned to hate myself even more than I had before because of how ‘privileged’ I was told I was. I and my white sisters were to blame for everything every other woman on the planet was experiencing. It was our job as white women to end every problem for every other person on the planet. The brainwashing that white women, especially, undergo these days is intense and expertly delivered. The effects are positively admirable, and if I were to wage some kind of war, I’d want to hire the propagandists that designed that piece of psychological warfare and have them work on my plan. My Indian friend was correct. In the West, we are crippled and slowly destroyed by men in different, but equally horrible ways. And part of that misogyny is the blame for our so-called status. (“You bitches are so fucking lucky for the way we rape and objectify you!!!” “Yes, yes, I deserve to be raped more… I am so racist for not letting men of colour rape me. I am so privileged for not letting homeless men rape me…” ad naseum) And here is the kicker. While we internalize the self-hate for our ‘privilege’, no women in any other country see us as enviable creatures, especially once they come to our countries. Most Western women don’t realize this, of course. Women in burqas aren’t dreaming of having their tits hanging out of their dresses in public. Women in Third World countries don’t crave to have the ‘freedom’ to sexually service as many men as possible without any kind of compensation or exchange. There is no true freedom in what Western men offer us. We are still whores. We are still cunts to be used. We are still the unpaid emotional and physical labour. We still provide all the volunteer and charity services because men won’t put their money into basic services. We are still the bulk of the slave labour. In the West. In the free, free West.
I’m not liberal. I’m not conservative. I employ whatever ideas and tools I have at my disposal to move towards female liberation from men. Perhaps, the word is radical.
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Misogyny Sells
I’d like to report to those feminists who oppose the use of ‘woman’ to refer to adult, human females (supporting instead ‘wimmen’ ‘womon’ or ‘womyn’) that you can give up now. The word woman is falling out of favour in English-speaking countries.
It’s true. Human adult females are increasingly being referred to in film, television, in every day conversation, and even in business names, not as ‘women’, but as long-held slurs designed to denigrate, dehumanize and humiliate them. Women are now regularly called ‘bitch’, ‘slut’, ‘whore’ and ‘cunt’ in everyday situations for little reason at all. This is the new, socially-approved set of labels. Once forbidden on television, it is incredible how often they are bandied about these days. Many television stations will still bleep out offensive words like ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’, but anti-female slurs are seldom censored anymore, even on family-rated programs. I don’t have a television, but I do selectively watch shows coming out of various countries, including the US, Canada, the UK and Australia. North America (the US and sadly, Canada) is the worst, the most woman-hating, by far. Liberalism, out of control. I can’t think of a single show I’ve seen lately, coming out of Canada or the US, where at least one female slur isn’t used each episode.
And these slurs serve a purpose. They have sprung up more frequently to counteract a perceived increase in public female visibility and power with hateful spew and to stir up knee-jerk hatred for and hate speech against women. In fact, women aren’t gaining power. There is increased sexual visibility (which is just one branch of female slavery rather than power). But there is no increase in female power. Repetitive use of female slurs – like with use of repetition in any learning model/scheme – serves to put them into the unconscious and to have them at the ready whenever woman-hate is triggered. For example, a woman speaks, and the word ‘bitch’ pops out of everyone’s mouths. A woman shows strength and people yell ‘cunt’. Clever brainwashing and programming.
The increase in hate speech against women has accompanied the increased graphic, and positively terrifying and true-to-life, violence against women featured as entertainment in TV and film. Interestingly, ethnic and racial slurs have been mostly eradicated from entertainment media. Even in regular every day speech in the West, I can’t remember the last time I heard a racial or ethnic slur. Slurs against white women, yes. Those are increasing. And occasionally blacks railing against, say, Asians, when they are not hating on white women. I remember one intersectional feminist I used to read, before I realized she was anti-woman and anti-white, complaining about some slur against her own ethnic group that I have never, ever, ever, once heard used in public. Even as a child. Or on TV. But female slurs? On the rise. And on an international level, English-language culture is beginning to export their brand of woman-hatred to every corner of the globe. Even my students here in mainland China are starting to use the word “bitch” with increased regularity. It, and other female slurs, are fast becoming synonymous with ‘woman’. Hell, young Chinese women don’t even call themselves ‘women’. They are girls or bitches now. Never ‘women’ – never adult human females.
It is disturbing and fucking scary. It is never long before an increase in hate speech is accompanied by an increase in hate crimes. But in this world, there is no such thing as acknowledged hate speech or hate crimes against women. Racial, religious and ethnic groups, yes. But women are the soiled tissues of the human race. Disposable and nothing worth thinking twice about. And women are embracing this self-hatred and hatred of other women en masse. In the name of ‘female liberation’ as defined by men. Yep, fucking scary.
I like to help the average idiot see crimes and wrongs against women through the creation of racial/ethnic equivalencies. People can’t seem to wrap their lazy brain cells around why slurring women = hurting women = bad. And why words are weapons precisely because they have the power to change perceptions and segue into entrenched changes in thinking, law, actions, and violence. Always violence.
Today, I’m talking about legitimizing slurs through business operations. Let me start by describing the sitch with a few examples.
Only in a male-dominated world can a business register and use a misogynist slur in a legally operating business name. And I’m not talking about businesses that peddle rape and sexual slavery (e.g., tittie bars, strip clubs, or rape-film-porn companies). I’m talking about restaurants. Non-nudity-focused restaurants that cater to day-time, clothed persons of all ages (including children). Restaurants are starting to use anti-woman slurs to sell their nosh.
I don’t understand how people can see and accept a restaurant name using a female slur or plan a name for their business that incorporates a female slur. But it happens and people seem to love it. Let’s look at a few popular examples.
I’d wager the real slut is Alvin Cailan, himself…
Eggslut. In Los Angeles, I was disturbed to see a restaurant with a huge line-up with the prominently-displayed business name, “Eggslut“. What the fuck is an ‘eggslut’? Someone who likes to fuck as many egg dishes as possible? Well no. We go to the founder of the restaurant to explain this Asian-derived slur. He is Asian, after all. The restaurant was started by misogynist ‘Filipenis’, Alvin Cailan. We all know what a ‘slut’ is. And an ‘eggslut’ is a derogatory term typically used to refer to a female who likes white males that are really into Asian culture. Still, the use of the slur is confusing. Why would a Filipino asshole choose to name his cookery after this female slur? I have no fucking clue. Is he trying to show that he is as good as a white dude, and like white dudes, he can hate all women, laugh in our faces and get away with hate speech against us? Possibly. I do know that woman-hate is catchy and brings in money. Always. But it just seems so strange to pair a misogynist slur with food. Not delicious-sounding. At all. I somehow resisted patronizing the restaurant, choosing to girlcott the place instead of spend my hard-earned money on misogyny. It blows my mind that women online write about this place, doing a review of the food, and saying something like “It is a sexist name, but I decided to try it anyway.” Cocksuckers, all of them, especially since they know it is hatred, but still patronize the place, thus legitimizing woman-hate, and giving it the cunt-stamp of approval. Dominant male culture tries to shove the idea of ‘don’t be so sensitive’ down women’s throats, and a lot of women think they are cool if they can take misogynist abuse and not react to it. They score points with men if they can join in on the woman-hating fun. After all, if you complain about disrespect and hate crimes, you are a bitch… And weak.
I’d actually prefer to rename his racist, misogynist eatery “The Buk Buk Breakfasterie’ to see what happens. Buk buk is not a standard racial slur against Filipinos known by most Westerners, but it is miles better than any inappropriate reference to women. I’m sure liberals would be up in arms if a Filipino slur were used in place of a female slur, however.
Common, Kimmie! Grow a pair of ovaries, why doncha?!?
Biscuit Bitch. You expect misogynist slurs from men. Men are stupid and predictable that way. But when women use woman-hatred to make money, you really have to wonder whether they are sociopaths or just really, really damaged, self-hating people or even misogynist abusers, themselves. And Kimmie Spice is one of these pathetic losers. Setting up camp in Seattle, self-proclaimed ‘head bitch’, Kimmie, serves up misogyny and southern cuisine with a sarcastic smirk (I’m guessing from what she has said about herself) at her downtown establishment: Biscuit Bitch. And it appears to be another hit, as all woman-hating stuff is. Who doesn’t love feeling absolutely free to call a woman something nasty? I’m not sure she understands what ‘bitch’ really means. Anyhow, it’s another restaurant I girlcotted. I much prefer to support women-owned businesses, but I won’t support a cocksucker in her quest to destroy women by espousing the male agenda, ending up being the mouthpiece for the masters themselves.
So I wonder to myself. Given that it is legal to use cuss words aimed at women, will we soon be seeing “Cookie Cunt” or “Hibachi Whore”or do they already exist in some form or another? I wouldn’t be surprised if they already did, to be honest.
And just to put things in perspective. Know that the following would likely not be allowed because all groups – of which men are members – are PROTECTED. Imagine patronizing the following businesses:
The Chow Mein Chink – serving chow mein, fried rice and more! I cookey, you likey!
Needlepoint Nigger – for your sewing and arts and crafts needs! We specialize in DIY gun holsters!
Kitchenware Kike – high quality cookware at low prices! Cook like a pro! Spend like a Jew!
Mussie Milk Bar – Ice cream. The halal way! No milk from pigs here!
Wetback Warehouse – legally imported goods at seemingly illegal prices!
Trannie Dogs – You’ll like our gourmet hotdogs, goddammit, or you can lift my skirt and suck my lady-cock!
People will line up to support a restaurant that slurs women. But how long would it take for “The Needlepoint Nigger” to be firebombed?
I mean, can you see? Can you understand? Do you see how woman-hate has infiltrated every nook and cranny of society such that it is accepted and even embraced? If you can’t see, even with it laid out before you, then there really is no hope at all.
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I Was Thinking It Was About That Time
The other day, I got one of those special, special WordPress notifications that let me know something I had been suspecting for a few weeks. A year has come and gone in my blogging world.
To be honest, while there are plenty more things to write about, I’m thinking it might be about time to stop / take a break / write very sporadically. I’ll keep the thing up. After all, I’ve managed to create a place for Muslim rapists, pro-Muslim-rapists, and white-woman-haters to come in search of rape porn starring white ho’s. The majority of the keywords used to get to my site tell me this, at least… I wouldn’t want to deprive them of the disappointment of arriving at my site only to find justified misandry rather than sexual assault boner-poppin’ good times.
It’s not that I’ve worn myself out or given up. I was cynical about the future of feminism and women’s liberation before I started writing. Nothing has changed there. I firmly believe that women will never be free or safe or have clear identities that have nothing to do with what men say we are. The so-called freest women in the world -Western women of ALL colours – are, in fact, just as enslaved as all the others, but even worse, they fucking choose to embrace the trappings of slavery despite their primarily white foremothers having fought and died and been beaten and raped before them for very meager rights. And the foremothers are either derided or lost to obscurity. Slapped in the face and laughed at by women today who use their slightly longer leashes as sexy-fun bondage equipment for their own selves rather than as rope with which to hang men. Nope, I see no hope for women and their very deserved, but very out of reach freedom.
I think I’ve gotten a lot from what I’ve read on other blogs, but I’m not sure I’m being challenged anymore. So few women are willing to propose anything truly radical (in the other sense of the word), so there isn’t much of interest to me these days. Most feminists just report the continued atrocities that are women’s daily lives, and I have to ask, “So the fuck what?” That shit will continue and will escalate until we stop reporting and actually do something about it. But that appears to be beyond feminists’ pay scale. So really, what’s the point other than incite women to work up a good lather and teeth-gnashing in their computer chairs and then moments later to put on their lipstick and slut-gear and go to work or play. I imagine something different, but then I’m never going to be popular with the vast majority of women. Yep, no hope there.
Anyhow, the stark reality of things unfeminist is not why I may or may not continue writing. I just have new, potentially awesome shit to work on that has little to do with people/women as a class, and everything to do with saving my currently atrophying brain and flagging health. I’ve likely mentioned it a few times here, but China is killing me on multiple levels, and for fuck’s sake, I have realized I have a lot more I can possibly do with my life than act as doormat to a country full of racist, woman-hating, completely selfish and self-absorbed, unempathic robot-drones that make me question the value of ‘culture’.
In other words, I know I can save one woman, and that woman is me.
Until we meet again – or not! It is a Story Ending Never, after all.
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Correction: Black Dicks Matter; Women’s Lives Don’t
I’ve just spent the last week in Seattle. It’s not like China. No kidding. Bus drivers say ‘Hello’ and ‘Thank you’, people are fairly friendly, I’ve had more pleasant interaction with strangers in one week than I get in a whole year in China. And it is not a million degrees with a million percent humidity. But at the same time, I’ve been in close proximity to six trannie males (men in dresses) that I was aware of – all young, all white or Latino and all hideous and not even close to passing. Two of them stood in the middle of the sidewalk and refused to budge as I tried to get by. I was worried about the sleeping quarters policy for the dormitories in the budget accommodations where I was staying. Do they let these she-males sleep in the female-only dorms, forcing terrified and rationally thinking, travelling women from around the world to submit to male sexual fetish? I didn’t ask, and I didn’t see the telltale ‘we’re going to take your rights away’ policy notice that says “We are INCLUSIVE”, but who knows… I refuse to sleep in coed dorms for a reason, and now I have to worry about trannies in female dorms…
I also came dangerously close to a loud street parade protest organized by Black Lives Matter in response to another cop shooting. I’ve opined on the Shooting black males phenomenon before, and I haven’t changed my mind. This recent protest was over-populated with white women – you know, the evil bitches responsible for everything wrong in the world – and black women. Women, fighting for men. As per usual. And I have questions. Why aren’t black women getting shot by police? Maybe because it is black men with guns getting themselves into suspicious criminal circumstances. Black women don’t do that. They are women. So this is a male issue. Men shooting men. Why are women fighting this fight? Why are white women blaming themselves for something men do to men? Because they are trained. Not because they are guilty of anything. Second. Why aren’t crimes against women of all colours taken seriously? Why are there no groups called Women’s Lives Matter? Why don’t men overwhelmingly take to the streets to protest the rape, murder and battery that is far, far, far more common than the killings of five usually armed black men per year? Perhaps because the men would have to take the protest past the rape-strip club outside Pike Place Market, and the protest would ring false. There are no clubs devoted to hurting black men because hurting black men is wrong and illegal, but the rape and strip clubs are a dime a dozen and men, including black men and cops, have built the world on rape and the objectification, enslavement and killing of women. It is a male right to hurt women, and women accept it too. No one will ever stand up for female freedom en masse.
I strongly urge this group to change its name to reflect reality: Black Cocks Matter. Be honest. This movement isn’t about black women. Or black people. The black movement never has been. It’s about men – the right for men to have access to and power over women. Black men won the vote in the US 70 years before ALL women (including white women who were and still are slaves), and America welcomed a black male president before a female one (even a white one). Women are still, after decades and decades, trying to get protection under the US constitution and recognized civil rights. Black men and black women who identify more as black than woman have those protections. Don’t kid yourselves. As much as everyone is convinced black men have it so rough, know that they still have more rights, political power and earning potential than ALL women, including the hated white woman. Only Asian women out-earn black men consistently when matched for education. All men, including black men and Latino men, as well as Asian women out-earn this mythic powerful creature, the white woman, when we look at matched education and full-time work. So when you fight white women, you are fighting a marginalized group that is low on the totem pole of political, economic and legal power. Black Cocks Matter. Women, not so much.
I’d really like to see women put as much effort into saving and supporting women as they do into sucking privileged cock. Some white feminist recently suggested that black women have such a hard time deciding between ‘identifying’ with race or with sex. Waaaaah. Poor, poor things. Sorry, I don’t have much sympathy there. They can do what they want, of course, and for the most part they ditch women to protect cock. I mean, who wouldn’t choose rapists over sisters… But sarcasm aside, I don’t get it. I’ve spent years living in daily racism, but I’ll choose to side with women of the race that oppresses me over cock of my race any day. Women don’t oppress. Men do. And when you destroy sexism, you destroy all the the other oppressions, as woman hate is at the root of everything, including, and especially, racism. Female bonding is the thing men try their best to destroy as strength does come with greater numbers and knowledge and the desire for justice. But that is just too hard a concept for most people to grasp, apparently.
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Racism and The Oppressor Triangle
Until you actually understand racism and the fact that it is a male invention that derives from and depends on misogyny, you are going to be confused about human interaction, especially when you move around geographically, and possibly about how to react to assaults upon your female body. You will be confused about who constitutes a racist and what constitutes a racist act. You’ll be confused about ‘racially motivated’ versus ‘racist’, and you’ll definitely be confused about whether a behaviour has nothing to do with race and everything to do with misogyny, economics, or just plain old meanness directed at the closest target available.
Racism, or the domination of one race over another, is not necessarily dependent on having a majority population. Numbers help, but they are not necessary. Racism is also much less simple to discern than misogyny. The world wants to dichotomize it (aka ‘only white people are racist’), but it is both incorrect and too easy. Woman-hate IS a simple dichotomy; it really is easy to figure out. Men hate women. And these men include all the ones we love to coddle: gay men, trannies (men who think they are women), men with no arms and no legs, homeless men, Jewish and Muslim men, and non-white men. Sexist behaviours and crimes are easy to pinpoint because men hold all the power, while women don’t. Men do all sorts of shit to women (and get away with it) because they hold all the power. Even with other mitigating factors, such as economics, males always hold power. The least powerful man can still rape (and get away with raping) the most powerful woman and holding that sexual threat over her is a source of the world’s greatest, most accepted, and longest standing oppression.
Racism is not so easy. First, it is based on misogyny. Without woman-hate, racism wouldn’t be a thing. It wouldn’t exist. It is a male creation, the sole purpose of which is to preserve bloodlines. And bloodlines are ONLY preserved by controlling women and who sticks their dicks into their fuckholes. Just listen to any racial or ethnic supremacist group (white, black, Chinese, Jewish, etc), regardless of race or ethnicity or geography, and sooner rather than later, you’ll hear them talk about not allowing inter-marriage or inter-dating and about breeding and sterilization. That is control of women, their cunts and their uteri. Control of women is at the root of racism. But then again, if you understand radical feminism, and what ‘radical’ actually means, this is obvious to you and you won’t find yourself derailed by intersectionality issues.
Second, racism isn’t a dichotomy despite so many people wishing and hoping it were. There are several races on the planet (and even more confusing, several more ethnicities that are sometimes treated and function like races), and depending on where you are, different races have different power. The race that rules (and thus can be ‘racist’) has three sources of power, which I make clear in my Oppressor Triangle below. Further, in a dynamic between two people or groups of people, we can consider a fourth source of power – the one at the centre of everything. The penis. When a penis is present, it predominates. Penis is first, and then the other three sources of power follow. I call this the Oppressor Triangle, with a dick at the centre.
The Oppressor Triangle
Let’s go through the Oppressor Triangle briefly. You can apply this triangle to any oppression you wish. Take misogyny. Woman-hate. This one is easy because with cock at the centre, you don’t even need to go further in the analysis.
Cock at the centre. First, cock is the overriding factor. If cock is present, it will cancel out any power a non-cock (i.e., a woman) has. Cock wins over vagina. Always. Even if an individual woman has legal, political AND economic power over a man. Dude can still rape or threaten rape. That is the ultimate oppression. Further, a man with a cock will be in a position of power over a trannie dude with no cock. And a trannie who cuts off his cock and sports a dress, pumps and lipstick, will hold power over women by nature of being born and raised with an attached cock. Women have negligible power over one another. However, a woman can gain power over another woman through ‘cock proxy’. If she is a cocksucker – a practising heterosexual woman or a woman with a son – she will have power over an asexual woman or a lesbian or a childless, single woman. Basically, the less cock you have in your life, the less power you have in relation to other women. It is exactly why matriarchy wouldn’t/doesn’t function on a domination-submission or slavery paradigm.
Economic Power. Economics can be determined by sheer wealth, but also by social relationships and status. People with more money obviously have more power than people with less money. But there is another aspect to this that is not immediately apparent. People with families have more economic power than people with no families. This might seem confusing at first because most people have some sort of family they interact with, even if they don’t like them. People who have no family, which includes parents, cousins, uncles, aunts, spouses and children, have much less economic power than those with these traditional relationships. As a single, childless person, if you get sick or injured and cannot work, you lose your sole income and form of security. You have no one to take care of you, cook for you, bring in money for you, and do basic things people with families take for granted. Further, you are at high risk of death or serious life-changing implications if the illness or injury is long-term. It is hard to imagine, even if you are not 100% cool with your family, but in dire circumstances, you know they will help you out (even if there are strings attached). Those of us without that economic safety net live in a shit-scary world where the threat of illness or injury is constant and terrifying. And once you get a taste of helplessness, and how easily and quickly you can be rendered helpless, everything you do can be very scary. There is a reason single, childless elderly women (most of whom are white, by the way) are one of the poorest segments of the population in the Western world.
Political Power. This can very obviously refer to the power that a politician or someone enmeshed in the political world (e.g., lobbyists, union members, bureaucrats, etc) might have. But it can also refer to the power that your not-specifically-political group membership has politically. For example, all over the world, governments and citizens are terrified of Muslim violence. Even in dictatorial China where I live and work, the government is terrified of Muslim terrorism. Muslims are the only group in China who don’t have to abide by the government’s strict rules regarding population control, income and freedom of speech. They can say and do and go where they want. In the last year or two, there have been Muslim acts of terrorism in China (including where I live), and this relatively small group had the political power to change security measures in every single transportation station (metro, train, bus stations and airports) in the affected cities and beyond. We’ve also seen the political power of male refugees in Europe recently. ‘Oppressed’ rapists attacking local women were given asylum and their crimes were ignored and wiped from the internet. And our all-time favourite oppressed people, Jewish folks, hold enormous political power (and economic power, for that matter) all over the world. Despite being a tiny, tiny minority of the population, they have massive political clout with the American government. In comparison, women, the largest oppressed group in the world, have no political power whatsoever unless they put forth an agenda that supports men, thereby not acting on behalf of women at all.
Legal Power. Political and legal power are often confused. They can be present at the same time, and can even depend on one another. All forms of power can be interdependent, but it is not a given. Legal power can refer to that which a lawyer or legal professional has because of knowledge and training. But it can also refer to the power that comes from having one’s rights protected by law. In this way, citizens will have legal power over undocumented workers (the latter may or may not have political power over the former, however). A citizen also has legal power over a legal foreign worker. There is nothing like the threat of having one’s visa rescinded to keep someone under legal control. A diplomat has the legal power to commit whatever crimes he wishes without repercussions in his host country. Men have legal rights that women don’t have – in all countries. Men have massive legal power in cases of the sex crimes they commit, as the burden of proof is on the victim (woman) to prove that she has been violated, and often this is dependent on refuting irrelevant details about her character and behaviour. Men also have the legal power to define crimes that they commit and the rights that they have. Trannies (men who think they are women) are eroding the legal rights of women, and are so legally (as well as politically and economically) powerful that they are erasing women altogether.
So let’s get back to racism.
Racism can also be explained using the Oppressor Triangle with cock at the centre. The race that dominates in a geographical area will conduct business based on female oppression and have economic, political and legal power over other races. The dominant race isn’t automatically white. In many places, white people don’t even factor into daily life. The dominant race is based on economic, political and legal power and is controlled by men only. Racist behaviour will be committed by those with penises or racially motivated behaviour will be enacted by those who act on behalf of penises. So saying that only white people are racist is incorrect no matter how good it feels to arm oneself with that illogic. I’ll use an example based on my own years of experience – China. In China, the Han Chinese (about 20% of the world population; 90% of the population in China) are the dominant ethnicity (some feel they function as a race, however) and hold power over all other races and ethnicities within the Asiatic race living or visiting China. There are many poor Chinese, but there are many, many rich Chinese. China is actually a very rich country, with an unequal distribution of capital (like all other countries). They have economic power (and are actually fast overtaking Caucasians in the United States and Canada as the dominant race, economically, according to data). Within China, they are politically powerful – they dominate the government and have serious political clout around the world. And they have legal power – they dictate the laws that run the country and often break international law when negotiating with other countries. When dealing with whites, blacks, Arabs and other foreign and non-Chinese people in China, the Han Chinese dominate. The former hold no power over the Chinese economically, politically or legally. Even with some power (e.g., economic power), no non-Chinese will dominate a Chinese, unless it is a non-Chinese man over a Chinese woman. In a girl-on-girl scenario, a Chinese woman will dominate a non-Chinese woman with racially motivated behaviour, rather than outright racism, if backing a male agenda. Women can assist men in a racist agenda, but I am hesitant to hold women responsible for racism as racism is borne of misogyny. Like sexism, women can buy in and support cock domination and mandatory heterosexuality, but men are ultimately responsible. Learning to stop calling women ‘racist’ is similar to learning to stop calling women bitches and cunts. It is irresistible to hold women responsible for what men have created and perpetuate.
So in short,
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a male of a non-dominant race
- I care little about this as men fight each other over the right to rape all women. when you back the rights of an oppressed man, you will only end up exchanging one master for another.
- A male of the dominant race has racial power over a female of a non-dominant race
- This is what I call ‘racist misogyny’ and is standard all over the world. It explains the ‘white whore’ phenomenon – the common occurrence white women experience when living and traveling in other countries and which no one wants to acknowledge.
- A male of a non-dominant race has racial power over a female of the dominant race.
- This phenomenon explains why white women almost NEVER report assaults and rapes by men of colour in their home countries. It also explains ‘sex tourism’ (aka ‘rape holidays‘), and rapes of local women (prostitutes and non-prostitutes) committed by visiting military personnel in foreign countries (i.e., white, black and hispanic American soldiers stationed in South Korea).
- Between women, there is no racism. There can be racially-motivated behaviour if the target behaviour is prompted by a heterosexual, male-dominated, anti-woman agenda. Otherwise, power is based on other sources (economics, politics, law, etc).
Given that women don’t create or perpetuate racism unless they are clearly working a male agenda of domination over females / woman-hate, it is not the responsibility of women to end racism through subordinating themselves to members of other races. You can do your part in not participating in the existing dynamic in your particular area by doing everything you can to help women of any race; not fucking men of any race; and not breeding males. Racism comes from men and is based on rape and the control of women, their uteri and their spawn. Sadly, when I see feminist conferences put racism on the agenda, I know what is in store – usually the shaming and guilting of white women. Not only is that a fucking waste of female energy, but when you heap shame or guilt upon a woman, you lessen the likelihood that she will speak up when a male outside her race inevitably violates her. No woman of any group deserves male violence or to be shamed for what males of her race do to women outside her race. Remember that while it may be in your best interest to avoid women who support men as they likely have nothing in common with you and can muster enough borrowed (male) power to harm you, politically, they are not the ultimate enemy.
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Jezus, Get Off Your Knees, Girls
About a year-and-a-half ago, I was in Los Angeles, and one night, I found myself standing in line for some comedy event with a male friend who is no longer really a friend. He was becoming increasingly terrified of my increasingly frequent feminist commentary. I mean, shit, L.A. is the rape culture factory of the United States (and thus, the world). And friendo works in The Biz (Hollywood/Entertainment, for those who don’t know). He profits directly from rape culture as well as profits, as a man, off of actual rape, the threat of rape, and the dehumanizing effects of rape culture. Of course, he was terrified. I was pointing out that his little world as well as the world at large aren’t quite as fun and innocent as men would like (to force) us to think. And through my growing outspokenness, I learned that despite having known each other for almost 20 years, talking about feminism was not a welcome new addition to our relationship. Ah, the truth unveils itself as it always does, and it hurts to find out how much even long-time male friends only conditionally like you…
So, we’re standing there, and friendo points out a black dude who is seemingly working the event and who is wearing a t-shirt with Marie Shear’s famous and frequently misattributed quote: “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people” on it. Friendo wanted a head pat for noticing that and pointing it out, and likely, black dude wanted a blow job for the seriously radical act of wearing that t-shirt. “I’m a feminist, like seriously!” Indeed, young white girls were buzzing around the latter like bees to a flower. Sigh. Black dudes have waaaaaaaay more privilege than even the precious white girls that the world hates passionately and thinks exist outside oppression. Total bullshit – black dudes are oppressors too, oh yes they are. Never forget that all men have privilege over all women. Penis trumps vagina, always, always, always. Anyhow, the only real feminist act happening in this whole scenario was my defiant refusal to hand out cookies to the whole lot of them from friendo to male feminist to silly, obsequious, little, librul-neo-fem slave-girls. You see, noting anomalies in male behaviour, pointing out ‘activism’, wearing clothes, and rewarding men for not raping, are in no way, shape, or form feminist acts.
But, but, but we must show our gratitude! We must reward men for not raping us or noticing we have brains in addition to fuckholes, tits and asses!
No. No, we don’t need to do that at all. First, there is no such thing as a male feminist (see all my posts in the Wolves in Women’s Clothing series for further discussion of this). Men never do anything without a selfish reason or without expectation of reward. And, sure as shit, if a man sees a commentary like the one I’m providing – the refusal to reward him for the barest of a good deed or shred of humanity – he will pull his support and issue some choice misogynist slurs that completely betray his ulterior motivation (Him: “Why do I even bother trying to help cunts like you?!?” Me: “Um, you bother so that you’ll get your dick sucked. I refused to do that, so you call me a cunt. Interesting take on human rights activism…”)
If men want to activate for women, it should be among men, and it shouldn’t be attached to some expectation of attention or reward. That is called being human, not a superhero. Women don’t need to thank men for being human. We have been socialized to give men all our attention and adoration and gratitude for not unleashing their privilege-driven violence upon our bodies and minds. And it needs to stop. No real progress can be made otherwise.
If you (men) are truly feminist allies, you’ll leave women alone and work your anti-misogyny magic among the men who hate and hurt us daily. You’ll keep your voice off feminist blogs, while still reading and learning. You’ll keep your penises out of women, to avoid putting their lives in danger repeatedly. Thank you in advance, but keep in mind, you’ll have to bake your own cookies.
If you (women) are truly feminists, you’ll free yourself from gratitude-driven cock-sucking, and pour it into your own health first, and if you really, really need to activate, into women less free than you. It is actually more fair to men to just treat them like any other person. You don’t do them any favours by supporting/enabling their entitlement and inflating their already-large egos. If you really must express your thanks, thank women for adopting feminism. Thank radical feminists for fighting for your rights and putting themselves in harm’s way for you. Thank feminist lesbians for not supporting mandatory heterosexuality. Thank the brave women for fighting against the trannie erasure of you, your biological reality, and your rights and safety. There are so many better outlets for your gratitude. And besides, too much time spent on your knees is bad for your joints, and makes for a very limited view of the world. You deserve better.
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Liquid Courage and Stopping a Dick Mid-Swing
Yeah, this is a rant. Not light, and not short. Warning given. Proceed at your own risk 😉
I don’t drink that much. Alcohol has long been associated with abuse, fear, and rape for me, so I stay well away from drunk men, drinking with men I don’t know or trust (which is, at this point, every single one of them), and places where people drink. In my experience, you severely raise the risk that not only will something bad happen to you, but also that you won’t have a leg of credibility to stand on when (not if) something happens to you. This is women’s reality. Alcohol provides men with an excuse for their criminal behaviour, and takes away from women everything including the slightest shred of believability or humanity.
I almost completely limit my alcohol consumption to the occasional bottle of foreign red wine (decent alcohol is very expensive in China), and I’m such a light weight that it can last me for 3 days. And it does the trick, it dulls my depression and makes me forget the worst parts of living in China. Temporarily.
But in the last few years, there is one other time that I have a few drinks, and that is the two or three times a year that I go out socially with this piece of shit, 61-year-old, white, British, male misogynist whom I’ve tolerated because a) he is a rare atheist, and b) he is a colleague and unfortunately, one of my few ‘allies’ (wrong word) where I work. I’ve described this douchebag before.
I was much less enraged three years ago when I first met DB (douchebag). I tolerated his mansplainy narcissism. And this is a topic for another post, but even though every country’s males have their own unique brand of misogyny, there is something I absolutely fucking hate about British men. I’m not sure if it is my perspective as a woman from the “New World”, but I find men from “Old World” countries (Western or Eastern) have a very deep-seated, centuries-old, traditional misogyny that you don’t see in places like Canada, New Zealand, Australia or even the US. It’s not specifically religious. It’s something else. A colonizer mentality. And there is some left over colonial, British Empire attitude that sits in the DNA of British men – the men who raped, conquered and held hostage half the world and left destruction in their wake. The somewhat subdued, historic pomposity of British men is, in many ways, more obnoxious than the loud, superhero, dumb jock, ‘we’re number one!’ ignorance of modern American men. It’s hard to explain. And I will say that I don’t see any of that in comparing the women of both worlds, except perhaps in how they rationalize their slavery. But of course, women don’t colonize. They don’t attack, invade, rape, pillage, kidnap, infect, kill, or any of that, in the name of discovery, conquering, ‘civilizing’, taming, nationalism, or claiming one’s birthright or cockright. I like British women just as I like American women and any other women from any place. Individual women may pose problems, but as a class, they are not the enemy.
So anyhow, after my first week swimming in Chinese semen, I had planned a strategic Saturday outing with DB. Not for fun. I needed crucial information related to my job. I figured I’d get this toxic event out of the way and be safe from further exposure for months – perhaps even for the rest of the semester.
When out with DB, there is alcohol. He is a fucking fish. An alcoholic (like most older men who come to China). He jokes about going to class everyday having to mask the smell of alcohol consumed the night before leaking out of his pores with his sweat. I usually have a few drinks while I’m on these outings with DB because it helps me suffer through his grossness.
But on this recent outing, I discovered a more practical and useful side effect. I found courage.
I am really good at defending other people – women especially – but I am horrible at defending myself or having general debates. I’m not an orator. I prefer to think, mull, and write, rather than have a verbal discussion. I’d also rather avoid men who disgust me than get into arguments with them about things they don’t understand and that involve my human rights and their male privileges. Once the insanity starts, I tend to close down and fantasize about killing them. But on Saturday, after a few drinks and in the feminist frame of mind I’ve been in, especially recently, I was ready for a fight of the verbal sort. I mean, I still sat there for much of it imagining a clean shot put between DB’s eyes. But verbally, I trounced that fucker, and did it using his own (and all men’s) low-blow and aggressive techniques against him. And those techniques mostly involved interrupting. Shutting down his irrelevant lines of thought before he could complete them. Dismissing his rebuttals. Derailing his derail attempts. Refusing to defend myself and my claims. Keeping on the attack rather than the defense. Basically, I treated him as he has always treated me – as men always treat women. And it worked. It didn’t gain me respect necessarily, and it didn’t feel ‘natural’ to me, but it shut him up. Instead of the male voice, I eventually got silence. Blessed silence. The male voice, silenced. He gave up trying to dominate me and forcing me to back down and agree to his misogynist viewpoint. He took on the pouty, abused, ‘is-is-is she saying no to me?’ look that some men get when women speak with authority or righteous anger. Didn’t stop me. I firmly believe that women can’t ever win or be heard or make men shut up unless they use the ‘master’s tools’ against the masters themselves. Men don’t understand anything but aggression. Reasoning doesn’t work. Appeals to logic or empathy or humanity don’t work. But a good beating, verbal or physical, coupled with shaming, do. It’s what they do to us. I get so tired of women refusing to see that taking the high moral ground will never, ever make men stop their abuse of us. Even men’s request for ‘educating’ aren’t true or real, but women fall for it every time. That derailing technique works every time. Women’s energy derailed and stolen.
Not until you become more self-aware do you realize how much woman-hate is organic to conversations with men. Almost everything men say smacks of misogyny. But we don’t notice, or we laugh along, or we get nervous, or we have already tuned out and are nodding and smiling in boredom. When you become self-aware, it is horrifying how nasty and ignorant men are. And they remain unopposed by all men and almost all women. Honestly, I should have brought a massive fucking misogynist bingo card with me. This guy hit almost every stupid point that men come up with when trying to assert their dominance and entitlement/’rights’. It was trope central. And standard to pretty much all British men, even the young ones, he kicked it all off with basic fighting words: “mankind“. And it went on from there. Here are only a few of the highlights:
Religion, not men, caused gynocidal events in history
DB is a history buff (male history) and he is both a China apologist and an atheist. China can do no wrong and is superior for not being a religious country (except that traditionalism is a form of religion – a topic for another post). DB loves dictatorships and censorship (as long as HE is free to do what HE wants, that is).
I had pointed out that the two worst events in the history of humans: 1000 years of footbinding in China and 300 years of witch burnings and torture of women in the West. DB immediately leapt in with a condemnation of religion. I cut him off. Nope. That doesn’t explain footbinding. I just kept repeating: “Men did it. Male hatred of women. Misogyny.” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Dumb people need repetition. And you can list all the horrific gynocides throughout history – DUE TO MEN. The 6-week rape-fest in Nanjing, China by the Japanese. Not religion. Men. The perfection of what we now know as the ‘concentration camp’ by Winston Churchill and Lord Kitchener used on Afrikaner women and children. Not religion. Men. Cruise through time. Make notes. Men have done it all to women. Men. Men. Men. To women. Women. Women. And it seldom makes the history books or history class curricula.
Chimps trade meat for sex
Atheist men fucking LOVE LOVE LOVE evolutionary psychology as a tool to try to justify their love of rape and domination. Atheist men hate you too, ladies. This particular stupid douchebag doesn’t have a single course in science. He doesn’t even have a college degree. Through some weird British educational loophole, this idiot was let into a Masters program in something that was decidedly not science, WITHOUT an undergraduate degree. But he loves to try to school ME in science, a woman with post graduate education in science, published articles in science, research in science, and teaching experience in university scientific methodology and statistics. And like most atheist men without an understanding of science, he trots out debunked evo-psych bullshit based on male confirmation biased interpretations of animal behaviour (anthropomorphize much, rapists?) to support his love of rape and prostitution. Dumbass. Anyhow, I shut that fucker down before he could actually finish his first sentence as I saw it coming a mile away. I said, “Debunked. Non-science.” To derail me, he tried the male trick: where is your proof? I said, “Google it.” You prove it. Science, my scientific ass.
Good things always come from war
Nothing smacks of male privilege like dismissing the effects of war. History is basically the male masturbatory recounting of wars. It is also the dismissal of the female experience, the erasure of female existence. So men, when they start jizzing over how fucking awesome a battle was, or how fucking awesome the world became due to some war, they forget one tiny thing. Women are the overwhelmingly large majority of victims when there is war or civil unrest. I was reading a psychological site on PTSD in women, and they cited the statistics that during civil unrest and warlike conditions, women comprise up to 80% of the victims (general victims, not PTSD victims, specifically). Men can’t see this because they only see soldier mortality as victimhood. What they forget are the women civilians killed. And that victimhood isn’t just death. Rape is rampant during any kind of uncivilized event. Men don’t get raped. Women and girls are raped. And tortured and injured and killed. They are raped and killed by the enemies. They are raped and killed by the men on ‘their side’. Women are the largest group of victims during unrest.
As for the good things that come from war? WTF? Is the world a better place when war is concluded? Not for women. And no aftermath is worth all the loss and suffering. Any freedoms or benefits usually go to men and boys. For women, it is business as usual. The only war I can imagine resulting in something good is one where women stand up for their rights, physically fight, and win over men. Liberation for women is the only cause that makes sense for me because every current ill in society results from women’s oppression. Liberating women would help alleviate all human problems as well as environmental, animal, and food/water problems.
We then moved on to:
If we don’t do it, someone else will
Men are positively obsessed with progress and growth. This is the only way they define success. Progress and growth are seldom logical or reasonable and always come with a high cost. A cost that is paid by women and girls.
There is no such thing as creating something out of nothing. There is no such thing as ‘bottomless’ or ‘without limit’ when men seek success. The male demand for more and more is only possible if you tread on the rights and humanity of others – the least powerful. The least powerful are women, so they get less so that more is produced. So women are paid less for the same job. They work more in order to produce more. They are removed from their homes and made homeless so that buildings and structures they will never benefit from can be erected. They suffer through wars and environmental disasters and medical atrocities. Just so men can achieve ‘progress’ and ‘growth’. And I’ll add recognition and power to that list.
I suggested to DB that there are several lines that should not be crossed, whether it is in science or any endeavour. His answer? If we don’t do it, someone else will. We can’t let the other guy get there first! And I hammered him. “What a shitty, amoral excuse for evil behaviour.” This guy swears he is not a capitalist.
The world is safer than it has ever been
For men? Yes. Definitely. Not so much for women. Men don’t have a clue what safety issues are. And how much do you love it when men try to tell you that you are perfectly safe now. I mean seriously, fuck off. They have no idea what women think about, worry about, and have to do in order to get from Point A to Point B.
His measure of safety is that we have longer life spans. Yeah. That’s it. Longer life spans. What an incredibly nuanced way to look at safety. And I told him so. Did I also mention that I have worked in forensics as an analyst? I have worked with an FBI consultant on serial rape data. I have worked with police departments on workplace violent crime. I have also worked in the health field on medical errors research.
In what world does living a long life mean that you have lived free from danger? That you haven’t almost died? That you don’t suffer from fear or trauma or anxiety due to living in a crime-filled, corrupt world of danger for women?
They’re trying to criminalize johns and let prostitutes…!!!
We’d already covered the chimps, meat and sex bullshit, and the world is a safer place bullshit. So why not move into trying to shut down the male right to rape?
I jumped on this one before he even finished his sentence of outrage. There is nothing I hate more than men telling me that they have a right to stick their dicks into women, or that women ‘choose’ lives of rape and degradation over health and happiness. So I derailed him. I said, “Yes!!! Finally!!! The Swedish model is the best thing to happen in a long time. Finally, we can take away men’s right to rape and finally, we have a fighting chance in hell to reduce male violence against women, misogyny, and endless rape – all of which increase when women are jailed for prostitution and males go free in order to pay money to rape again. I launched into the cold reality that prostitution ONLY exists when men refuse to allow women the means to support themselves properly. We have prostitutes because women are poor. That’s it. Holding women severely economically disadvantaged positively ensures that women will be forced to sell their bodies and ensures that men have a constant supply of enslaved cunt to rape.
I didn’t allow any response from DB. There is no response to this issue that isn’t dripping in pro-rape, pro-poverty, male privilege and psychopathy. Did I mention that this guy is NOT a capitalist? Right. Unless it’s something he wants sold for his pleasure as a male.
But but but the Women’s Movement was successful
I mentioned that women-only social justice movements are never allowed to succeed. Only when men’s rights are at stake, do they succeed. And they do so mostly because they have women’s free labour supporting them. Women don’t receive the backing of men when it is their turn. And he came out with the ‘right to vote’ success. Most men don’t know anything about the herstory of women’s struggles. And of course, any successes that occur are assumed by men to have been the single purpose of the struggle. When women won the vote, that was not the whole point of the movement. It was actually a decades-long struggle for several legal rights, one of which was the right to vote. Following backlash from men and possibly exhaustion from that landmark achievement, the women’s movement lost some steam. They didn’t achieve most of what they had set out to do. Would I call the First Wave a success? Not entirely. It wasn’t a complete failure, but it wasn’t a roaring success in the way that all male movements have been – including that of black males in the US.
It’s time to start looking for a Chinese wife
Speaking of prostitution and male privilege… As an over-60, DB has overstayed his welcome in China. The Chinese who, in addition to being sexist and racist, are also ageist. They love Chinese old people, but the foreign people who stay for decades diligently and devotedly educating their youth? Nope. Once you hit 60, you’re tossed to the curb. There is no pathway to residency. There is no pension for foreigners. No ‘thank you’ for your service. You’re out.
Unless you are a man. Foreign males can find local pussy, convince them to marry (which is pretty easy to do), and then stay forever on the equivalent of a green card. This isn’t really an option for foreign women. First, Chinese men, like Western men, want subservient wives and baby factories. Besides, Chinese men only see us as whores. Something to fuck, but not to ‘respect’ in the form of a slave relationship (marriage). Second, most Western women who come to places like China are either already enslaved or they are the most independent women from what are independence-embracing countries. They aren’t looking for a slave-arrangement. So this dealio works well for men who have no problem owning a slave. But it is not an option for women.
The only other way to stay is if you are extremely well connected with someone in government who can ‘arrange’ an illegal visa if you have the money. This is rare. I think about all the people, including those from China, we let stay forever in Canada, despite having little or nothing to offer, and I think about devoting my education and talent to a place like China and their complete disrespect for my years of service and their abuse while I am employed with them. Mind-boggling. There is no reciprocal arrangement between our countries.
Anyhow, DB is 60 or 61 and he has been told that he will be kicked out of China next year. He is joking now that it is time to find a Chinese wife. Who knows, he might just do that.
—
There is actually a lot more here to tell, but this is long enough. My bingo card was full by the end of things. And I raged for days. Even though I put this douchebag in his place, thanks in part to the liquid courage of a couple of G&Ts, I spent the following week calming down. When it really hits you full force how much a dude you have known for a while hates women, and by definition, you yourself because you’re a woman, you rage. You rage. You rage. And just think, even your Nigels (if you have one) are the same. Maybe he has different words and tactics, but the woman-hate and privilege is in there. Waiting. Waiting for you to oppose him in some way. Deny him what he feels is his ‘right’ (but which is only a male privilege) and you’ll find out how much your sweetie ‘loves’ you. The truth is these assholes walk the planet taking what they want. They are not used to hearing ‘no’ and having to abide by it. They don’t respect ‘no’ in the way that women do. They are given more than you (more money, more respect, more space, more consideration, more understanding, more freedom, more safety) despite their inferiority simply because they have dicks. So, while I felt a victory – and it was important one, personally – it came with a price and it changes nothing about how the world works. I stopped a dick mid-swing, but unless it is cut off completely, it will live to swing another day, knocking down all women in its path.
Filed under the Conversations with Men series.
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Gay Men Hate You Too
Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.
Germaine Greer
I generally dislike using quotes and those who quote frequently/constantly either in speaking or writing. I teach my writing students that, unless their essays are specifically about discussing the ideas inherent in a particular quote, to try to avoid using quotes altogether because it breeds a dependency on them and a lack of originality in thinking. My problems with quotes are multi-fold. First, most things have been said before in different ways by many people. Second, men frequently get credit for things that were most likely said by women first (often their mothers or female spouses, but also friends and colleagues). Third, nasty and/or dumb people live on in history for some chance statement that they have stolen and said loudly enough to be heard, and are then remembered as clever or noble. And finally, heavy reliance upon quotes can be problematic as it prevents you from trying to use your own words, and I find that most of us misunderstand the original meaning of quotes or get the attribution wrong. Quotes can be handy for starting discussions or to start an essay, but addiction is easy.
I do take a bit of exception to feminist quotes because for one, women, their existence, their ideas, and their words are typically erased from history by men. When a feminist says something important that is remembered, I try to preserve it. As well, feminists tell us very important truths about reality, and we’d all do well to remember them. Women tend not to remember or even acknowledge their realities. So I have a choice slideshow of feminist quotes in my sidebar, and today, I’ve pulled one of my favourites, one of the simplest and easiest to remember, and of course, one of the messages that pretty much all women forget.
It would be easy and convenient if it were only rich, white, Christian, straight dudes who were the thorn in Woman’s side. They could easily be targeted and dealt with. They certainly are not the majority in the world. But alas, it is not true. The truth is that all men hate all women. It might be seething violent hate manifesting openly in criminal behaviour against women. But it can also be as hidden as an undersized testicle, no one finding out about it until the right set of circumstances put you into direct contact with it. But it is there, in all men. On a continuum from violently open to extremely well-hidden. And one thing women don’t want to believe is that even men who are clear or visible members of Oppressed Groups™ hate them too. One of the worst mistakes a woman can make is to assume that a man can bond with her over being silenced or erased.
No, you see, men are men and all that comes with it (this is the differential interaction effect of nature and nurture on females and males). Key among their group qualities is a real and significant inability to empathize. And this means that men in groups that are hurt by society are unable to feel anything for other marginalized groups and are often quite easily able to abuse those people without any kind of self-reflection. And by ‘those people’, I mean women, primarily. Oppressed men can frequently feel some kind of kinship with men from other marginalized groups, but not with women, in general, or women in said groups. So in this way, a poor man can show support for a gay man, but is open about his rape fantasies of lesbians or watches ‘lesbian’ porn. Likewise, men of any and all groups will take the PTSD of male soldiers seriously, but will have a laugh about or just dismiss the rape of female soldiers by these same male soldiers. (Oh, and by the way, soldiers are not ‘oppressed’ – quite the opposite, in fact, as they are state-sanctioned murderers, and the males are state-sanctioned rapists, as well. I’m referring to PTSD, a mental health condition, which is marginalizing.)
And within groups themselves, women have discovered that fighting the good fight alongside their male counterparts hasn’t been all it’s cracked up to be. Lesbians don’t get support from gay men. Poor women don’t get support from poor men. Atheist women don’t get support from atheist men. Black women don’t get support from black men. Rather, they are expected to do all the grunt work, act as cannon fodder on the front lines including getting arrested, take charge of feeding and watering the male members, look after children if there are any, and (except in the case of LGB groups – although that is changing since adding the T and Q) provide sex. When there are movements for change, what women forget is that men aren’t interested in equality. They are interested in moving up the ladder of power, the rungs of which are women’s backs, and we see this time and again in revolutionary movements. The underclass fights the oppressors, and then replaces them and keeps the same male hierarchy in place. Nothing changes. Women are still on the bottom and left wondering what the fight was for.
So let’s get to gay men – that is, after all, the topic of this post.
I recently wrote a post about another marginalized group – atheists. And as atheist men hate you, so do gay men.
I just spent three weeks travelling through California, which means I was surrounded by tons of out-and-proud gay men loudly spewing woman-hate, and not caring if women were around to hear them. I sat in restaurants PAYING for service that didn’t just include food, but also large sides of misogyny. PAYING to sit there listening to the gay men across the room – including gay staff members – talk about bitches and cunts and say some of the most misogynist things I heard on my trip, even surpassing the bullshit said by straight men I encountered. If I were a gay man having to listen to homophobia in a restaurant, I could probably sue. But as a woman, I have no rights to feel safe in a public place. I would have been laughed out of the joint.
You don’t have to look far to find nice little object lessons. And yet another was presented to me the other day online. The latest horrific piece of news in Trans-World is that some smug little MtT is looking to take leadership within the UK’s National Union of Students as the Women’s Officer. It is distressing. And women are blogging in protest. I headed over to the reblog of an article on this by a woman I read only to find some dude was already jizzing all over the comments. He had provided an insulting reference to a female public figure commenting on how the trans looked like her (he didn’t, actually – I couldn’t see the similarity). He also couldn’t figure out from the title of the original blogged article what the issue was with a trannie heading up the arm of a major women’s organization. He went on a mansplaining, dick-wagging, woman-shaming blah-blah-blah about clothing and how lesbians dress or don’t dress. It actually didn’t make any sense and had nothing to do with why the article was reblogged. If the mainsplaining didn’t give him away as a misogynist, it was the inability to understand the problem with the article that did.
I normally try to resist interacting with clueless men, but he asked a question: what is the issue here? He thought it was clothing. I had no idea he was gay or actually known to and a friend of the female blogger. All I knew was that he was pro-trans and thus anti-feminist. I mean seriously, he has nothing to lose from a man taking over a woman’s movement or women’s spaces. So, of course, he will promote it. Only women are hurt by this. So I let him know that the information about what was being disapproved of was clear in the title (directly naming ‘male pretendbian’, which we all know means ‘MtT pretending to be a lesbian’) of the post. I mean come on, my Chinese students have better reading comprehension, I said. The misogynist responded with a flurry of woman-hate, calling me both a genius AND an imbecile, which was hilarious, and for some bizarre reason, telling me that the article was a reblog, which I and everyone else knew. And then, when I addressed the blogger on the woman-hate in the comment section, Dood attacked me again by announcing his gayness and positing that the only way he could possibly hurt women is by throwing a glitter bomb on us. Clueless, but given that he supports men in dresses, and by definition, of the pro-trans right of men (in dresses) to demand sex from lesbians, this is not a big surprise. Men think they are harmless. Even when they are in the middle of being harmful.
Gay men may not actually rape us, but they play an important role in normalizing violent and denigrating thinking about women and about normalizing the idea of women as objects (e.g., negating women in the LGB movement) and filthy, hateful things (e.g., the ‘ick factor’) or as walking pornified sexual stereotypes (e.g., gender reinforcement through drag queening). And they are often more vocal in their misogyny than straight men. And they are just as excellent at mansplaining as straight dudes. And because they are marginalized, they get away with it.
The lesson here is that you should never forget that no matter how marginalized a man may say he is or that society says he is, he is always more powerful than all women. As I appear to continually say (because it’s true, goddammit), penis trumps vagina. Always. Always. Always. Don’t be fooled. Gay men hate you too. And it’s more than just glitter bombs and cat fights they threaten you with.
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Naming the Problem vs Scoring Points for Slur-Slinging
Sometimes, I write unpopular posts. They are unpopular because they make people uncomfortable. They make people uncomfortable because I don’t jump on bandwagons, I don’t join the fray, I don’t like adopting and using catchy slogans or mantras just to gain points with the ‘socially aware’. When people jump on band wagons because it feels like they are doing the ‘right thing’ according to frenzied activists, the ability to analyze reality is lost. And when you can no longer stand back and analyze what is going on, you don’t realize the harm that you’re doing to people who have more in common with you than you think. You don’t realize that you’ve lost sight of what you thought you were joining up with and what your purpose was in the first place.
It is irresistible to attack women. We have ALL felt that, and all people do it, often without realizing it. It is so normalized, and there really is a feel-good effect of taking down a woman you think has over-stepped in some way. I wouldn’t be surprised if we found pleasure-producing, chemical effects in the brain following attacking an uppity woman. No matter what your credo is, there is an underlying current running through us that women must be perfect, self-effacing, and no matter what place they hold in the male-created hierarchy, they are to blame for allowing it to be so. Even experienced radical feminists are tainted by this lifelong brainwashing that creates an automatic, negative, woman-blaming response to social phenomena and every single evil in the world. It really takes a massive effort and commitment to learn to condition yourself to stop and look at what is really going on.
I read a lot of feminist blogs – not just current stuff, but posts published within the last 8-10 years, and this phenomenon can be seen everywhere. It is incredible how many posts begin with or eventually devolve into woman-castigation, usually riding the wave of intersectionality. If you start off a feminist post or discussion with open, unanalyzed blame for one or more of the most hated and criticized groups of women, including, educated women, academic women, white women, lesbian women, or childless women, you’ve lost me a bit. You’ve meandered off the feminist path and are demonstrating your male-identification. There is a difference between critique and blame. There is a difference between naming the real underlying problem and scoring points for using a tired, smug, bullshit cliché (‘privileged white woman’ and ‘privileged white feminist’ are the most overused, but feel like magic on your tongue) to slam a group that is unpopular in current liberal times, convenient to pick on, and not actually at the root of what you’re complaining about. I mean, I get it. I have particular groups of women that fucking piss me off, and I could rail on them all day. Would it solve anything by shaming them into silence – just like a man would do? Absolutely not. They are women and they are trying to survive in the same world the rest of us are. They may have different conditions presented to them, but they have the same central reason for being targeted that we all do. And no woman is omniscient. No woman can be all things to all people. No matter what you think all her advantages are, she is still part of the underclass and blaming her for not doing enough to see every other person’s point of view as she navigates her survival as a woman, is unreasonable, and frankly, exactly what men want and need in order to maintain their power.
When you really back things up, you’ll find that penis dominance and petty rewards for penis worship are at the root of pretty much everything. If you need to think about that for a moment, ask yourself, ‘Would this shit exist if men didn’t exist?’ We can’t answer that definitively, but you can actually break something down by asking key ‘why’ questions. Why does this particular group of women react this way? Why do these women hold these particular views? Why can’t these particular women see or understand my particular perspective? Why does it seem like these women hate meeeee? And when you answer that – and I mean a real answer, not a knee-jerk, unthinking “Because they are privileged” – you’ll find that male dominance is there running the show, providing the shitty and limited options to women. Women haven’t created the oppression that women experience in this world. That is the important thing that we need to remember and that most forget. In fact, it’s a little presumptuous and self-centred to expect other women to alleviate every one of your specific oppressions for you. Your anger is justified, but it’s pointed at the wrong person/people. Ask the ‘why’ questions and explore reality and who your allies are.
After you ask and answer the why-questions, you can easily see that women appear to take on oppressive, ‘privileged’ positions because it has been made clear that in order to lessen the potential harm in their lives, they have to play the power game. Academic women, and business women for that matter, don’t keep their jobs (which they need to feed themselves) if they are aggressive radical feminists, but by playing the male-power game. Rich women usually aren’t as rich as you think they are, or they are the concubines of rich men, which is a different form of prostitution than most people usually think about, and leads to serious penis-identification. Religious women frequently don’t have a choice about their penis-identification because it is all they have known since birth and there is often serious ostracism (and sometimes serious physical danger) threatened if they leave the fold. Heterosexual woman have scary and complicated ties to parasitical males, including birthed sons, and have serious male-identification issues as a result. And on it goes.
I’m not making excuses for people. I do believe that the more ‘freedom’ you have within an oppressive regime, the more responsibility you have to oppose the dominant order. And there are a lot of things that can be done that don’t threaten your life or your survival, although they may threaten your sense of place in a world where you’ve become very used to wearing chains. A lot of women can’t get to that point because it IS scary AND you have to come face-to-face with your own woman-hatred. And while there is a lot to gain from opposing Dick, it is safer when done in numbers, which will never happen. Doing it alone while feeling alone can be very threatening, but it can be done. Life will be hard, and few women (and no men) will thank you for it.
But if you are going to commit yourself to feminism – female-focused feminism – then you have to resist the knee-jerk blaming and shaming of particular groups of women for something that men are fundamentally responsible for. Men need to change it, not women. Point your fingers in the right direction and work together with (or if you can’t then just distance yourself from) the female groups you have trouble with.
That is not to say that critique is not possible. Critique of harmful movements or actions or statements is necessary. Of course. But critique, don’t blame. Women aren’t doing shit you don’t like because they are evil oppressors. They are doing it because they are reacting to (often poorly or in an uneducated fashion) and trying to survive in a system designed to destroy them because of their sex. And sex is at the root of all other oppressions, thanks to men. Critique feminist or anti-feminist movements. Blame patriarchy. Hold men responsible for the lack of options women have and for being forced to choose one of those shitty options.
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Sex Matters: Here’s How You Know No Woman is ‘Privileged’
It gets worse and worse. Nowhere on earth, never in history, and regardless of economic or educational status has a woman been able to speak up about being subordinated without serious repercussions for her. On the rare occasion that a woman has a) believed it’s worth it to speak up, b) been allowed to speak her truth, c) been believed, and d) seen justice done to acknowledge her human status and basic human rights – you are witnessing something of a miracle. An actual miracle, not a bullshit ‘Madonna on toast’ type of miracle.
Every single one of you of the XX variety has experienced this at least once, even if you can’t bring yourself to admit that yes, for fuck’s sake, you have been victimized because of your sex. ‘Victim’ is not a dirty word. It is a temporary status that describes having had your freedom (even if you have very little) taken from you in some way.
Each and every one of you has felt unsure that:
- something is happening to you because you are female,
- something is happening to you because you are female in addition to being white/black/aboriginal/etc, lesbian, old, attractive/unattractive, fat/thin, etc.,
- your intuition that something bad is happening to you is spot on,
- you don’t deserve what is happening to you,
- you have the right not to have your personal space and, yes, your body, invaded,
- you are allowed to verbally question a perceived wrong,
- you are allowed to physically defend yourself against violence towards you, and
- you are allowed to say NO to a man of a visible minority group who is trying to hurt or abuse you in some way or even kill you.
Here are some recent (increasingly common) scenarios where women have something taken away, hesitate, and then talk themselves out of demanding that it stop and that they have their human rights/status upheld.
Women victimized by men pretending to be women
A man looking distinctly like a man or man visibly pretending to be a woman and dolled up in ‘lady-face’ enters a women’s bathroom or change room and proceeds to act like he owns the joint, doing his business, taking his clothes off and possibly even watching or staring at you or other women/girls. You hesitate to interject because you are afraid of his backlash or backlash by society for being a fucking bitch and denying a possibly ‘oppressed’ person his freedom. Meanwhile, you have had your freedom to feel safe in a women-only space taken from you. You can’t see that you deserve to be human, and that feeling safe, which is something you may never have felt in the way men feel safe, is your right. Men’s special, inside-feelings of pervy-sexy-womany goodness, and mental illness of the dysphoric variety are much more important than women’s safety.
Women victimized by *oppressed* men of colour
You are a white woman and a man of colour comes up to you and begins to harass you. It starts as a verbal altercation, but upon the slightest opposition to his attention, escalates quickly. He enters your personal space and rains verbal, sexual, and/or physical violence upon you. You don’t feel you are allowed to defend yourself because you will be labelled a ‘racist’ even though he has targeted you because you are a woman and because you are white and he knows he will get away with anything he chooses to do to you. He yells ‘racism!!!’ if you choose to report him or defend yourself. And you end up terrorized and/or raped and/or beaten, and if he leaves you alive, believing that a) you deserved it because you’re white, and b) you are not allowed to say anything because you are ‘privileged’. Women are not privileged over men. Zero debate about that. And in my educated opinion, there is much evidence to support the theory that misogyny cancels out the possibility of racism given that racism is a male invention based on woman-hate. If you can’t see that, you need to go back and read some world history. History is the story of what men have crapped upon the world, at the expense of women. And take a look at the endless violence against women today and you’ll see that a woman cannot hurt a man in any way regardless of the races involved. Walking While White and a Woman (WWWW) in no way justifies what men of colour do. And they shouldn’t get away with it.
Atheist women victimized by religious men
You are an atheist and a feminist, and you are worried about the increasing number of religious fundamentalists dictating policy on the local, institutional, and national levels in your country. Your gym (in Canada) has been forced to frost all of its windows so that pervy Hasidic Jewish boys who can’t stop looking in the gym’s windows won’t have to look at all the filthy whores working out without full length dresses covering their filthy whore bodies (true story). You are not allowed to oppose this. Your university class project schedule (in Canada) has been extremely inconveniently altered to accommodate the Muslims in the class because the men won’t work with filthy whore white women, and the Muslim women can’t work with any men (true story). You are not allowed to oppose this because Muslim values (de-values) are crucial to introduce into Canadian policy on filthy whores local women. Teen-aged girls attending a high school dance (in the US) are sent home due to wearing filthy, whorish mini-skirts, because the fundamentalist (white and black) Christian fathers of attending students who signed on to chaperone the dance are popping boners and finding themselves with uncontrollable urges to rape the filthy whore cock-teases (true story). No one is allowed to oppose this. Religious ‘freedom’ and male control over female bodies is most important.
In short, while women have never had full human status, current political agendas, which have slipped in under the guise of ‘inclusivity’ and ‘sensitivity’, are making things scarily worse for everyone. This applies to women of all races, who are being held hostage by male terrorists of all races. And the most effective part of this new political agenda has been to silence the most vocal of women (usually real feminists, and most often white feminists – those who have done the most to help ALL women) by calling them privileged, entitled, phobic, and a whole host of other nonsense and slurs.
Women are getting on board with fighting the trans agenda, but what scares me most is the free pass that men of colour and religious men are getting. Women are not getting on board with fighting that. These *oppressed* men have figured out that claiming oppression is a free pass to threaten, attack, beat, rape, and murder women who don’t belong to their group. Feminists are speaking out about the lie that is ‘transphobia’, which is a very good thing, but are still very scared to defend themselves against men’s strategic accusations of racism, Islamophobia, and other isms and phobias designed to shut women up and give men power. When you force a woman to shut up about what has been done to her, you send the message that her sex, which has been and still is at the root of the longest-running and most accepted oppression in the history of the world, does not matter.
And sex matters.
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My Special Group of One: The Problem with Intersectionality
Years and years ago, when I started my first round of grad school, I got a tiny, simple tattoo that made the tattoo artist laugh because it was the easiest money he’d made in a long time. I’d wanted an important reminder, and did a ton of research to find the perfect symbol for that reminder. The reminder was that I had a tendency to overthink and overcomplicate things and I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out which steps to take. My dithering was stressful, and in graduate school, there is enough stress from external sources that you don’t need to add more of your own.
The symbol was historically and scientifically important, and to me, signified the idea that simple solutions tend to be the best way of going about things, even when problems are complex. I haven’t always heeded my reminder, but I have saved myself some grief because of it. And it has stayed helpful in many areas of life – it wasn’t just useful or applicable in my grad school world of scientific inquiry.
I approach feminism in this way, too. Although many of the problems women face in this world are complex, the best way to approach them is actually incredibly simple. And a non-intersectional, radical feminist approach is one that works the best. It starts with a basic, true, inclusive premise that all women need to be liberated from the sex-based oppression of all men.
All women, women as a class – the XX people – no matter where in the world they live, what language they speak, what colour their skin is, how much money they have, how attractive or intelligent or able they are, or what they are wearing
Are held against their will and nature, through violence and the threat of violence, under sex-based oppression
By all men, men as a class – the XY people – no matter where in the world they live, what language they speak, what colour their skin is, how much money they have, how attractive or intelligent or able they are, or what they are wearing.
But all of those details aren’t necessary. The basic premise includes all of that by definition. By all women, we mean all women. And by all men, we mean all men. Period.
One of the worst and most divisive things to happen to feminism, and which likely made men laugh, relax and order up another beer from the bar wench, was the introduction of intersectionality. You see, there is nothing like focusing on our differences to break down solidarity over our very important commonalities. Feminism is, at its root, about men’s oppression of women. With the introduction of intersectionality, women stopped focusing on male oppression and started pointing fingers at their fellow women as their major enemies. Very basically, women, in their fight to stop doing men’s dirty support work for free, ended up doing even more of men’s dirty support work for free.
And we saw horrible things happen. And it is getting worse and more violent towards individual groups of women as we speak.
- White women became solely responsible for racism
- Rich women (who are all apparently white) became solely responsible for homelessness, poverty, illness, capitalism, the poor education system
- Able women became solely responsible for the prevalence of mental illness, the cost of medication, lack of health services, misdiagnosis
- Educated women (who are all apparently white) became responsible for the Pink Ghetto, the rising cost of education, grammar snobbery, learning disabilities and dyslexia, massive and sudden male failure in school, and lack of job opportunities for the uneducated
- Single women became solely responsible for the breakdown of the family and the ’emasculation’ of entire nations of men
- Childless women became solely responsible for the race war (the race that produces the most children wins!!!), declining birth rates (like that’s a bad thing???), and posing threats to working women with children
- Atheist women became solely responsible for natural disasters (magical religious thinkers have told us) and the breakdown of entire societies and social orders
In short, every single problem that has actually been caused and exacerbated and maintained by men suddenly found an easier blamable target cause: some specific group of women. Through intersectionality, women were able to ‘other’ other women and blame them for their problems. Attacking other women a) was safer since women generally aren’t violently retaliatory, and b) garnered huge support and ‘rewards’ from men. For example, black women who demand that black men become accountable for and actually stop raping them might find themselves in further danger at the very hands and dicks of black men. But by making up a story and blaming a powerless group of women, such as white women, for black male rapeyness, they garner support in all communities, including confused, over-guilt-burdened, activist, white women, themselves. White women, in fact, have nothing to do with black men raping anyone, but it has become a popular way of saving men from taking responsibility for anything they do. And besides, it makes great press. Men control the press. And it is very hard to stop the domino effect of delusional and persecutory thinking once it starts.
Another major problem with intersectionality is the competitive atmosphere, and the derailing and thought-stopping behaviour that it creates in discussions of reality. No longer can a group of women come together to discuss female oppression without things going off track as soon as someone says something unpopular. People lose focus of the fact that they all have a common experience and begin to form groups, ‘other’ each other, and focus on individual feelings and individual experiences. These individual experiences are held up to a measuring stick of oppression and it becomes a typical male pissing contest over who has been hurt the most, and even worse, who is allowed to speak given their level of bona fide hurt. Those who are perceived to be less hurt or less oppressed lose credibility and even status as a woman. A white woman’s rape becomes less important than an aboriginal woman’s rape. A middle class woman’s beating becomes a joke next to a poor woman’s beating. A mentally healthy (whatever that means) woman’s workplace harassment becomes infinitely less significant than that of a woman with autism. It is disgusting to watch unfold, and unfold it does. The nastiness, slurs, hatred, silencing tactics, and sometimes outright banning or banishing can spring forth in the blink of an eye. It’s so gross that I’ll wonder to myself, how can you determine the relative horribleness and validity of two women’s victimizations? How can you deny compassion to one woman simply because you don’t like her supposedly ‘privileged’ status? Oftentimes, the privilege we *think* a woman has isn’t quite what we want it to be, if it even exists at all. Not that we’ll ask her. Her truth might humble us and destroy our vendetta/agenda. Stereotyping hurts and perpetuates ignorance and violence. But men and their institutions (media, law, etc) work to keep sister-hate going. The play that men give to women’s ‘problems’ in the news has nothing to do with women oppressing women, even thought it might be presented or interpreted as such. Women who care about women don’t downplay other women’s realities, traditionally. Men do. Don’t forget that. All men oppress all women, directly and/or indirectly, and we need to bond over that fact alone. We need to believe each other, listen to each other, and support each other. Accusing and blaming women for something they had nothing to do with – like colonization or rape, for example – serves men, not yourself and not women as a class.
And yet another problem with intersectionality is not knowing when to stop dividing. At some point, we all find ourselves in groups of one according to our unique disadvantages. It is important for data collection and research purposes to know what women face on a detailed level. Complex issues should be studied and approached while armed with this knowledge. I’m not advocating for group blindness or erasing. I have my own pet groups that in my world, deserve more of my attention than others. Personally, I am quite concerned with the oppression of elderly women and of single, childless women, and I believe they are two of the most vulnerable groups in the world, regardless of culture. They are also two groups that get almost NO attention. But I won’t derail a feminist discussion or effort or activism in order to demand their immediate attention by all. If I want to call attention to oppression of elderly women or to that of single, childless women, I will either form my own group, or I will join a group focusing on these populations and their issues. All while also being part of general feminist groups/discussions. And I would ask the same of any other sub-group member. You’re a woman first, and you are also part of other groups that can be of equal importance TO YOU. To date, things have not worked like this. Established groups are infiltrated and shamed, derailed and forced to deplete already limited resources in order to be ‘inclusive’ to every single sub-group of women (and sometimes of non-women, i.e., MtTs). I believe these derails weaken feminism, which is supposed to work to benefit all women by focusing on the common oppression. It is unreasonable to demand that sub-group interests take precedence over general interests – and that applies to anything, not just feminism. General mandates apply to all members; group-oriented, specific mandates only apply to a few, and suddenly you find you have several mandates and a broken, distrusting, self-protective group of groups. No solidarity is possible when everyone is too special and self-involved to focus on a very clear, central mandate.
Divide and conquer. Maybe not the original intention of intersectionality, but it is certainly the outcome. Ask a male ‘feminist’ how much he loves shaming women with perceived ‘privilege’ instead of focusing on what he and other men gain from oppressing women. When we’ve got men enthusiastically on board with showering particular groups of women with hate, then you know that’s not feminism you’re doing.
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Conversations with Men: Liberal White Dude Explains a Main Difference Between Men and Women and How White Women Aren’t in Danger
Recently, Miep wrote a post talking about the difficult decision to remove a problematic male of long-term acquaintance from her life. I get it. I get the feelings and frustrations associated with making a decision like that. I’ve been going through some really difficult and similar situations of that nature over the past couple of years, and especially in this past year. Men are problematic, and it is really difficult to rationalize keeping them in your life as a feminist.
I’m currently visiting some uber-liberal friends, and already I’m being irked to no end by nonsensical, politically-correct, but misogynist, analyses and explanations. I discussed the MLK event dilemma in the last post. And less than a day later, I’m deep into conversations with a liberal white dude on how shit works (this ties in, don’t worry, you’ll see).
Over coffee, a liberal, white dude decided to explain to two white ladies, including a scowling me and an open-to-sexist-bullshit woman, a major difference between men and women. A difference that can be seen in young children! Apparently, boys want to know how shit works. Girls don’t. Girls expect things to work the way they want them to work without wondering or caring why they don’t. This explains why we get mad at computers when they malfunction. (Fucking what? That actually describes how males behave, in my experience.) So liberal white dude gave an example of how some three-year-old boy got super impressed with how some adult showed him how something worked and equated that knowledge with being smart. In fact, the conversation between the boy and the adult was generic and demonstrated nothing to me about the kid wanting to know how something worked. And in fact, if liberal white dude had told the same story, but substituted a girl instead of a boy, I’m sure the story would have illustrated how girls want to understand social communication or some sexist bullshit like that. It’s all in the interpretation and agenda. Always.
I continued to scowl at the stupid sexist story and completely invalid theory, and the other white woman contributed a story of her own about some ex-boyfriend travelling to some far-off land with her with a complete lack of interest until he bonded wordlessly with some foreign monk over some stupid tool. Then he was interested in culture. See? Men are interested in how shit works. It allows males to bond. How this explains all the women in science I know, and how talented women and girls are at building and using machines, I know not. But clearly this unvalidated theory achieves something for men. And I suspect it has something to do with men wanting a special domain of talent all to themselves. Unfortunately, women can do everything men can do, as well as create life. So nice try, but nicer fail, dude.
The funniest part is that liberal white dude then told an unrelated story about his wife, that was meant to be some kind of criticism of her, but was actually a really, really good example of how she was exceptionally good at trying to figure out how shit works. He didn’t see that though and neither did liberal white lady. I tried to point it out subtly “How interesting that she was so adept at quickly figuring out how that worked!” but no one picked up on the hint, sadly.
Bottom line, these bullshit unproven biological arguments, which have been used for centuries to keep women out of the sciences and maths and any domain that would gain them independence and public recognition, have no merit and make liberals look really stupid when they use them to prove something.
Next. The same liberal white dude started talking about how the poor brown and black dudes are getting all shot up by police. I pointed out that white women are increasingly being used as human shields and hostages so that these often CRIMINAL individuals can get away with the CRIMINAL acts they are committing. He tried to negate my statement, and I pointed out that I had just been reading another example of this happening. That didn’t fly. You cannot point out facts about men of colour. They are victims. White bitches are just white bitches. They have no voice, they have no valid claims to human rights. They definitely are not victimized by men, goodness no. I didn’t bother pointing out that white women are increasingly the victims of sexual violence and sexual-racial threats and attacks, and I definitely didn’t venture into the recent German rape crisis and the problem of Muslim men. Unsurprisingly, none of my liberal friends has said a single word about what’s going on over there. You. Cannot. Criticize. Men. Of. Colour. And they stick to that. Religiously.
I’m tired. So tired. How can I keep friends like this? They spout insanity. They subscribe to stereotype-based biological essentialism that looks a lot like determinism. And they are so filled with racial guilt that they are willing to overlook or explain away crime, negate real victims’ rights and exaggerate reality in order to feel better. They refuse to name men as the problem that women experience. And they refuse to see sex-based violence as a thing especially when it is commmitted by men of different SES, colour or religion, and a more common thing than say, occasional police violence towards males. Violence directed at women is a much more serious, and long-standing problem than anything else going on today.
I’m not sure how long my visit will be. I feel like I wear a mask in China where I pretend to be something I’m not. But I’ve realized the same is true in the West. And acting is exhausting. There is no place for a radical feminist to take off the costume and speak truth. Except maybe on her own blog.
Why Do I Have to Be One or the Other?
I’m on the road, Jack. For the next I’m not sure how long. At least a month and up to six weeks. Chinese university is on holiday – we are between semesters and there is Chinese New Year to celebrate or take advantage of, depending on your perspective on Chinese festivals. This year, I decided to leave the country. About half the time, I don’t. I don’t love travelling like I once did. Something about men existing and ruining a woman’s exploration into the unknown, or something. I get tired of being assaulted when I venture into the world.
But this time, I have a little personal business to take care of, and I don’t know, my energy feels a little more up than usual. So I’m travelling. I spent a few good days in Hong Kong, a night in San Francisco. And now I’m with old friends in Northern California. I’ll be around for a spell. Where to after that? Not sure.
Now here’s the thing about California. While it has its rednecks, and certainly while it has its pockets of conservative communities, it is a pretty hardcore liberal state. I know I’m not really telling you anything new. California is known for its ‘fruits and nuts’ of both the food and human variety.
Sometimes, when talking about American ideology, it is hard to separate viewpoints from official political stance. For me, it’s like trying to separate culture and religion for homogenous societies (for example, in the US or Canada, religion doesn’t define the culture in the way that it does in say, Israel or the Middle East). When you start talking about conservative and liberal, however, at least in the US, it is hard to separate the thinking from the politics. Liberal thinkers, on the whole tend to subscribe to Liberal/Democrat politics. This is a result of a two-party system. You can’t apply this in Canada, which is not a two-party system and where the Liberal party is much more conservative than the party to which most liberal thinkers subscribe. So for non-Americans, this whole conservative-liberal divide gets very confusing, especially when you are naturally categorized once you start talking about issues.
The next problem is that since there are only two real camps, you are assumed to be part of either one or the other. And frankly, neither one is attractive. Frequently, I find liberal and conservative thinkers are on the same page, even if the words sound different.
And so I find myself deep in liberal/Liberal country, and scared shitless. I am definitely not conservative, but I can’t get on board with unthinking, knee-jerk liberal reactionaries. I deliberately don’t talk politics or social issues here. It some ways, it’s worse in the US than it is in China. I’m expected to be a crazy, weirdo in China with my strange Western ways and viewpoints (I have to remind people that I am not like most Western people). But in the West, especially the US and even Canada, talking my crazy talk about feminism and religion and culture can get me hurt. So much for free speech and thinking in the West, eh? China is not a safe place to have opinions, but I’d argue that the US isn’t either.
My first night with friends, I found myself with my first conundrum/ethical issue. I’m staying with a liberal couple, and the female of the duo is a full-time activist/volunteer. And she announced that is is MLK (Martin Luther King) Day coming up. Whoops, forgot about that. Not on my radar. Apparently, there is going to be some event involving marching to some given place and then lots of food, probably some speeches. She is going and she really thinks her husband and I should go too. Now, knowing her and the type of person she is, I know this is more than a suggestion. At the risk of sounding high school, there is serious peer pressure here.
I don’t want to go.
My primary reason for this is that I’m a radical feminist. Yeah, you heard me. If you are American, you probably automatically put me in the conservative camp when I failed to support MLK Day. You’d be wrong. I’m not a white supremacist or a ‘down with black people’ kind of asshole. I’m a radical feminist, and I am done supporting Dick and his many manifestations. And MLK Day is about Dick. Black Dick, but still Dick. MLK was a misogynist who wanted to free black men. MEN. Black women were expected to support their men in this cause. And today, white women are expected to support black men, despite the fact that these men are doing better economically than even privileged white bitches (yes, there are data on this). Women of colour have always taken a back seat in this movement, which defeats the whole purpose for me. I support female causes, and I am also not taking reponsibility for white men’s racism, another thing white feminists are expected to do. I’m still waiting for a pile of black men to support a radical feminist cause (not a slut-walk where they have their cameras out to capture liberal feminist titties for future wanking purposes). Since that is never going to happen, I see no reason to support a black men’s rally. More precious gynergy wasting, imo. Female causes only.
But of course, I’m not allowed to say this to the woman who is hosting me in her home. I will have to fabricate a reason not to go as a fellow guilty white lady. In a dichotomous world, there is no third stance. There is no position where you can divert your energy and attention to women as a class without focus on race as a diversion and not be seen as a conservative racist. I hold true to the belief that racism is a direct result of misogyny and that focusing on the latter is the way to go in order to tackle both. But I can’t say that in public.
Welcome to America.
Perfume and Shit
During my first go-round in graduate school in the US, my closest friend was this brilliant, quirky, and tortured Dutchwoman. Through her and other Dutch I’ve encountered, I, the over-polite Canadian, came to appreciate their delicious bluntness. I’ve since found that they have a just-so way of putting things that hits the nail on the head without destroying your thumb.
I’ll always remember something my friend said that has since had great application in various situations. While she was speaking literally, her words provide a great metaphor.
We were talking about bathroom habits for some strange reason, and I think she was commenting on what she believed was the American tendency to spray perfume or some other artificial smell after doing one’s business in the bathroom. She said:
“I don’t know why people do this! I’d rather just smell your shit than a mixture of your perfume and your shit.”
The implication, of course, is that you can’t cover up reality. And to follow: why should we try? It doesn’t actually work.
I’ve found myself coming back to this simple, but brilliant, comment on the recent human tendency to put a positive spin on political/social/research conclusions and theory. And recently, I’ve been reminded of it in critiques of certain feminist conclusions about the state of things. Conclusions and theories are discarded with the sweep of a hand simply by calling them ‘pessimistic’ or ‘depressing’. It’s not even a valid argument. Something may well be depressing, but that is unrelated to its veracity. This kind of dismissiveness can show up when feminists rightly point out that men have behaved as vicious sons-of-rapists for millennia, and if they wanted to change, they very simply would. Dick supporters will start in with their “That is too pessimistic! Too depressing to contemplate!” spiel. They insist that men can and will change if we just reason with them. Show them the error of their ways. They just need our bottomless female understanding, coddling, and education. But smart feminists have pointed out that men already have been sucking our helpfulness dry for a long, long time. We’ve done all of the above and then some. To no avail. Men don’t want to change. And they never will change. And hell, yes, it is depressing. But it is true. The truth usually isn’t roses and puppy dog kisses. The truth is slavery and rape for women and girls, ad infinitum.
And there are other arguments/theories/conclusions about the state of things and the state of things to come that receive similar reactions. To be honest, it is much the way many women are treated when they try to talk about their experiences of rape and assault – their reality – people don’t want to hear it. It’s too depressing. Too… real? You can lose friendships, family ties, and partner-relationships if you try to talk about your depressing reality (been there a few times, myself).
Why can’t people handle truth? I think this is subject matter for a future post. I want to get into suicide and death and such. People absolutely hate those topics and I think they are very important. Not only does each person have to face reality eventually, but we are soaking in effects of the male death drive and all that implies from the day we’re born. Ignoring it gets us nowhere but a world of hurt.
I prefer the Dutch approach. I may not want to smell the shit, but I’d rather smell it than have my brain confused by the conflation of two incompatible scents. You can’t spray optimism on the toxic air of Patriarchy and expect to find a viable solution or ‘hope for the future’.
Scribbles on Liberal Feminism
My girlfriend used to just swear and give guys the finger if they harassed her. now she shows them who’s boss by flashing her tits with an angry face.
He Was a Good Man
Most abuses and rapes of girls and women don’t make it to the newspapers or news desks of the world. First, there are too many of them – if all incidents were properly and publicly reported on we would have to admit there is a problem – a problem with men. A problem with how the world works. And we don’t want that. Men are untouchable and should remain that way.
Second, straight up rape and child abuse and other forms of sexual assault are fucking boring to our knuckle-dragging, drooling masses. I mean seriously. You’ve heard one story of a terrified woman being assaulted, you’ve heard ’em all. Can you imagine if we had to listen to them all?
But there is a special genre of woman-hurt that gets boners a-raging. Women pay attention too, but if the reporting didn’t titillate men, it wouldn’t make press at all. Women don’t get off on assault of their sisters regardless of what your misogynist husband or boyfriend or choice-feminist BFF tells you.
That is the sex-slave-held-captive-and-made-to-do-unspeakable-things genre of lady abuse.
The reporting of these horrible, horrible stories of tragedy are salacious. It is porn. It is men’s fantasies made real. The victimized girls and women are treated to various rounds of further abuse as they are made to relive their ordeals for the rapacious (male) public. And it is sport – a national/international pastime, if you will – with enough detail, you can always find some angle from which to blame the dirty little whores for what has been done to them.
I was coming of age during the infamous Ken and Barbie murders in Canada, and was luckily spared from having to read or watch too many details because of where I lived at that time and the fact that I was too busy studying to go searching for more information. In Canada, the rape videos and perpetrators’ testimony were banned from public access for legal reasons, but disgusting (male) Americans dusted off their poorly misunderstood and extremely abused Constitution in order to get access to everything. For offering support to the cause of crimes against women and girls? Hell no!!! They widely distributed the graphic detail on the internet. Pure boner material, I’m sure. I distrust any American who spouts off about freedoms of speech and expression. These jizzings are almost always made by men who don’t understand what freedom of speech actually means or the true purpose of the Amendments concerned (nor do they care), and when you get right down to it, are really only motivated by exploiting women for profit or want to preserve the privilege to jack off to women’s pain and humiliation.
[Note: Having cruised a few sites covering this disgusting event in Canadian history, I’ve noticed that the Barbie of the Ken and Barbie pair receives most of the attention, all of the blame for the crimes, and some sites post nude photos of her taken by Ken to degrade her as they do the female victims of the couple. Thank you, Patriarchy! Well-reported!]
I generally avoid reading about this genre of crimes against girls and women for these very reasons. Given how the media work today, it seems impossible to respectfully cover the crime. News is entertainment. Nothing less, nothing more.
Yet, I somehow managed to run across a video today about that psychopath, Ariel Castro, today. You know – that human stain who kept three girls in his basement as sex slaves for 10 years. How did I get to this video? I have no idea. I had been watching stuff on economics. And then blam! Suddenly, I’ve entered a whole new world, and couldn’t look away, and of course, couldn’t resist reading a few comments. Two things: YouTube videos are often misnamed on purpose. And internet commenters are often stupid. Unbelievable, huh? Anyhow, I started watching this thing, and one of the neighbours actually said: “He was a good man.” And other neighbours were similarly stunned. How could such a decent guy be such a – a what? What is the word for a guy like this?
And so we get down to an important piece of reality. A lot of men lately have been getting pissy when they discover women are increasingly cautious around men, in general. Or are afraid of men, in general. Or have a growing, *defensive hatred of men, in general. Given that neither men nor women can seem to spot a rapist and sadist upon looking at him or even knowing him superficially, and that there are probably a lot more of them out there than we hear about in extreme cases like this Castro horror show, I think that distrust and hatred are perfectly reasonable responses. Think about it this way, if men are doing the raping and hurting and violating, then they need to solve that problem – the onus is on them to earn trust. Women are not responsible for men’s psychopathy.
* Defensive – yes defensive. Notice that when women ‘hate’ men, it is in response to male hate of women. In this case, we know which came first – male hatred. If women hated men first, men would be dying at the hands of women. Often. Instead of the reverse. And really, even our defensive ‘hate’ doesn’t lead to violence and rape like aggressive male hate. Male hissy fits only serve to avoid accepting reality.
Another White Dude Analysis of the World’s Problems
I’m not sure why I bother. Watching documentaries, that is. Roughly 99.9% of English language documentaries are made by white dudes. Sometimes, they’re religious white dudes. Sometimes, they’re environmentalist, lefty white dudes. Sometimes, they’re libertarian white dudes. Sometimes, they’re partially lobotomized, incoherent nutjob white dudes. Most of them are middle class or come from those there parts – not rich enough to be truly devoid of cause. And not poor enough to be barred from funding even a low-budget documentary. Most of them have a basic college education – even the partially lobotomized ones, since we hand out college degrees like candy to white dudes with damaged brains.
But despite the deceptive variety in approach or ideology, the commonality is that they all belong to the class at the top of the human heap. And as such, they are blind to many things; they believe they have more of a right to speak than most; they believe they have a unique perspective than no one else has; they see themselves as leaders and ones best equipped to speak for all of us; and they tend to populate their documentaries with interview clips of their fellow white dudes as if there are no other people available to offer insight.
Most liberal white dudes are tuned in enough to make a documentary that pays lip service to problems of racism and classism – because these, of course, are classes that contain bepenised people – men can be of different colours and can be poor. And all men deserve attention, of course. But their oh-so-unique views of the world almost always miss one of the most important (if not THE most important) cause of why our world is the shithole that it is.
They either ignore or severely downplay the role of male domination – aka Patriarchy – in the destruction of the earth and the degradation of the human condition. They don’t acknowledge the fact that the only reason men have made poor economic models work in the short run is because they’ve built everything on the unpaid or lesser paid backs and uteri of women. You can’t have domination without slaves. And slaves have, for the most part, throughout history and continuing through to tomorrow, been women. But even when you have an unlimited slave supply (women), you can’t make a model of unlimited growth work (à la capitalism), or expect nonrenewable resources to magically become unlimited, or demand unlimited environmental imperviousness to deadly human assault.
It makes for a flawed and incomplete documentary. It has always made for bad science and theories in every field. When you don’t factor in Patriarchy as the primary cause and/or the primary environment, you aren’t telling the story correctly. It would be like trying to measure atmospheric gases, but failing to take into account that the planet being studied is Jupiter.
Men leave this key part – that Patriarchy is the root of most problems on Earth – of the puzzle out for a few reasons:
- Men like women to shoulder some to all of the burden when blame is to be laid and responsibility is to be taken for shitty circumstances.
- Conversely, men like to take credit for things (even when they didn’t contribute) only when it is a positive accomplishment (i.e., male expert dominance to be patted on the back in the awareness-raising documentary).
- Men don’t want to acknowledge that we’re in the shitter because of them, their violence, their greed, and their lust for power.
- They won’t find themselves an audience if they suggest that men fucked up and should take responsibility for the things they’ve done and should immediately relinquish their control and power structures. Men don’t like to be told that their millennia-long culture of dominance and rape is at the heart of most of the world’s current woes. Even a lot of Stockholm Syndrome-affected women won’t get on board with a documentary that says, “Look at what the men have done.”
I’m going to force myself to watch as much of this as I can. I’m into minute 23, and after way too much melodrama and wordiness, this generic, middle class, white dude, has finally laid out what he sees as the four main things that will lead to American downfall. I noticed that all four problems he listed result directly from Patriarchy, yet he doesn’t identify Patriarchy as the ultimate source. He referenced Derrick Jensen early on in the doc, and implied that he interviewed him, so I’d be a little disgusted, but not surprised, if he managed not to talk about Patriarchy in his ‘analysis’. Jensen has paid lip service to radical feminist theory, although I find him a little arrogant for my personal liking.
—
Two hours later:
I managed to get through two hours of, yes, mostly white dudes pontificating on the decline of the American Empire. And no, Patriarchy wasn’t mentioned even once. Dominance yes, but dominance was used to refer to class and race, as I predicted. There wasn’t a single mention of the oppression of women and how all empires have been built on that requirement. It was unsurprising, but still disappointing. Oh, and Jensen was indeed interviewed, and he arrogantly told us his favourite thing that HE ever said. Icky. Self-quoting… Well, white dudes. What do you expect?
I’ve noticed a few things about white dude documentaries. I’m not sure if there is a manual that they all read, but recurring elements creep me out.
White Dude documentaries must display the following:
- Lots of historic film footage of dudes doing something dudely or women doing something degrading or feminine. Preferably from the 1950’s or from some wartime period (if soldiers or concentration camp victims are needed)
- All or an overwhelming majority of those interviewed are white male experts (despite there being tons of non-white and/or non-male experts in any given field)
- Video clips that give a literal enactment of some metaphor used by an interviewee. For example, an expert begins talking about destroying the environment, and suddenly you have a clip of a wreaking ball.
- Quotes from noted misogynists, pedophiles and the like. (This particular film quoted Woody Allen who is both a misogynist and a pedophile.)
It’s hard to take a documentary seriously if it ignores really key elements. I’m not talking about entertaining and giving equal weight to fringe theories. I’m talking about allowing personal bias resulting from privilege to severely limit the explanation of the phenomenon you’re trying to cover. Feminism is not a fringe theory, and it is globally relevant. It needs to be included to provide an accurate picture of what is going on. It is also hard to take seriously any documentary that pulls testimony from a single group of privileged people (who all look like you) when the phenomenon is a) relevant to more groups than that small one, and b) there are plenty of representatives of many other groups to pull from as experts.
Nice try, white dude. He would have been better off giving his funding to a woman or minority and offering his services as ‘research support’. He would actually have been walking his talk then. But that’s just the thing. When a white dude talks about wanting to change the world, it’s just words. He doesn’t actually follow through on what he’s saying. It would have been really, really easy for him to make a positive change by enabling a traditionally less powerful, and often silenced, voice to deliver the message. When have men every stayed silent though?
*** Note: I’m not going to link to this film. It’s really not worth watching, nor do I offer a time-back guarantee when you demand those two hours of your life back. Anyhow, I wanted to comment on a phenomenon, not this particular documentary.
Story Ending Never 
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