I’ve been avoiding finishing what has been a partially-written post for months, but I’ve been inspired to action thanks to an unsolicited advertisement reminding me to worship at the feet of the most sacrosanct patriarchy-perpetuating, girl-destroying women on the planet: mothers. In addition, I really want to cut this albatross loose, so today is the day I finish and publish. Plus, I really want to move on to some juicy P is for ___ posts in this Alphabet series. So, let’s get started.

Today, there is a small set of taboo topics that is considered ‘dangerous’ – so dangerous that bad things can and do happen to the speaker or writer. The topics in question concern realities – truths, if you will – both subjective and objective, both relevant. Highly observable and measurable, hard to deny, and universal across time and place. What, pray tell, are these dangerous topics? Unsurprisingly, they are those concerning women’s status as human beings and the role males play in preventing and/or controlling that status. When these topics are talked about honestly – and they seldom are as it is dangerous to do so – shit gets real very quickly. Males get scared and angry and aggressive for being named correctly as the predator class. The males issue threats and commit actual violence, and they rally support for the male sex class, often painting themselves as victims. As well, many females get scared and angry and defensive on behalf of males, but also themselves as enablers who keep the shit show going. Females issue verbal threats against female truth-tellers and provide unanimous support for whatever male violence ensues.

Much of what drives these illogical female reactions is that women are not supposed to speak about their reality unless they are parotting the male version of female reality. Women’s reality is what men say it is, and even then, women are not supposed to talk about it publicly, at least in an analytical or critical way. So when a female person decides to speak publicly about female reality in a ‘no bullshit’ or even slightly critical way, you are almost always hearing about information that has been, throughout history, censored, erased and denied. And the speaker and the information will be attacked relentlessly, with attempts made at further censorship, erasure, threats of violence and other (social, political, economic) punishment, real violence, outright denial and various means of discreditation and silencing, such as ‘crazifying’, making false accusations of some -ism or -phobia, and application of bullshit lables such as ‘fundamentalist’ or ‘man-hater’, etc. Only females as a class experience this, and the attacks are always gang bangs with a lot of fellow females joining in to quell their cognitive dissonance and to keep socially and financially benefiting from staying on the path of least resistance (aka sucking dick, literally or figuratively).

Also note that the more important the subject matter is to upholding patriarchy, the more dangerous it is to talk about it. My post today addresses one of these taboo topics and is probably one of the most ‘dangerous’ a woman can address. Its official title is Aiding and Abetting, but as I am including this as part of the Alphabet Series, it gets a second special title:

M is for Mother

Lest anyone start reading this and then deliberately miss the point by focusing on an imagined ‘tone’ problem – something that ALL women who talk about ‘dangerous’ topics are accused of (in addition to being crazy or bitter or ‘phobic’ or hairy man-hating dykes or prudes or fundies, etc.) – I’m going to state right here that there is no sarcasm going on. This isn’t an ‘attack’. There is no intended sneering, no condescending tone. It is straight talk. There may be positing or hypothesizing here and there, but this is not satire or parody or fun-poking or whatever genre of writing you want to explain it away as. It’s just an un-sugar-coated description of how things work. Note that the point of this post is not to blame mothers for all the problems in the world, which is how many readers might wish to interpret this. It is a critique of the system and the role or archetype of Mother that arises from that system that are so crucial to keeping men in a position of power and to keeping women and girls utterly destroyed inside and thus, controllable. It is also a criticism of how thoroughly women have embraced their subservient role and of the role they DO play in making sure our daughters stay shackled and victimized and accepting it without serious resistance. After men, mothers are the next biggest whiners about martyrdom and victimization and their unsung heroism of toeing the party line, so deliberate misinterpretation of what I say is expected.

Now, I don’t for a second believe that women cause the majority of the world’s problems – seriously, why the hell would women ever devise a system that oppresses and dehumanizes them??? – BUT they do allow problems to continue in various ways, and critique and criticism are therefore warranted and necessary. But, men are the problem and the chief beneficiaries of the system they run and the roles that come out of that system, period. This post, however, is neither about men nor about biological motherhood, but about the male-created role or archetype of Mother that women both willingly and unwillingly take on and groom their daughters for, and how these women, as a result, keep the cycle of female oppression in place and never-ending. The whole point of creating boxes for women and girls to live in is to control their behaviour, to ensure that this behaviour supports and perpetuates male freedom to control and brutalize, and to make it impossible for women and girls to discover their own true freedom and selves.

Also note that I’m not writing this preamble to apologize in advance – something ALL women are not only required to do when they speak publicly, especially about taboo topics, but are criticized for doing by those self-appointed analysts/critics of women’s ‘inferior’ speech tendencies. I apologize for nothing. Speaking about reality is not akin to doing something wrong – again, something all girls grow up learning in order to keep them silent and compliant as adults. So, if you start reading this and you find you can’t handle it, here is my suggestion. Move on. Go watch a cat video. Go suck a dick. Just don’t stay here and dare to think deeply about this timeless, universal and highly problematic issue. (Okay, there was a little sarcasm there, but it ends here.)

So, what was I saying? Oh yes, M is for Mother.

This truly is a massive topic, but I’m only going to cover the bits that are relevant to my thinking at this point in time and try to break this thinking down into the following categories that make it easier for your to follow.

1. Motherhood: A Relationship, Not a Job
2. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Mother)
3. Welcome to Shit Mountain: The Woman Hierarchy
4. Martyrdom: The Blame Game vs. Responsibility
5. Boy-Moms
6. Mommy Dearest: Narcissistic Mothers
7. The Future of Humanity: Redefining Motherhood

1. Motherhood: A Relationship, Not a Job

One of the major complaints that is getting more and more play among mothers these days is that motherhood is a ‘job’ and compensation should absolutely be required for said ‘job’. I find the whole discussion bizarre, to be honest, and for a few reasons. I want to comment on a) compensation and b) what ‘job’ means. I also want to discuss choice briefly.

a) First, by and large, mothers ARE compensated for being mothers. If you go the housewife/mother route, and you enter the heterosexual contract, then this is what you have agreed to: you exchange your domestic services, including childrearing, cleaning, cooking, and male ego-building, as well as lifelong access to your cunt for a home, food, clothing, entertainment and spending money, as well as protection services. I have never worked a job where I get accommodation, food, clothing, spending money and safety. If you are a mother and you are not getting these things, then you fucked up. You don’t have an understanding of the hetero contract and you fucked up. Sorry.

I would not have survived financially if I had not had a child.

Private conversation with a single mother in Canada (May, 2021) where she told me that her child was, essentially, her ‘meal ticket’ and her protection. She got subsidized housing, more nourishing food, financial assistance, and more – simply for being a single mother. For women, motherhood is the fastest and easiest way to stay alive. And men designed it to be this way.

There are also some societies – Canada is one of them – that will provide various compensation to mothers for doing nothing other than popping out a kid. The quote above comes from a much longer conversation I had with a single mother in Canada last year. I was stunned at everything she was given and that she had access to. She, of course, commented at how unfair it was to men that she got better quality food than everyone else, but she couldn’t see that the single, childless women living in poverty were the most vulnerable. During that same time period, I also briefly lived with a social worker who told me stories of lone women living in homeless ‘hotels’ run by the government where they would wake up in their beds mid-rape after homeless men had targeted them and broken into their rooms. Safe, subsidized housing NEVER goes to these ultra-vulnerable women. Sometimes, they end up in shelters with predatory trannies pretending to be women, as well.

b) It is a little off-putting when mothers see their role as a job. There are several things that distinguish motherhood from an actual job. First, for such a ‘skilled’ and life-or-death ‘job’, there are absolutely no standards required for candidates. Literally anyone can breed. There are no qualifications needed, no intelligence or skills required. No social skills. No references are demanded. No experience. No proof of competence. As a teacher, I’ve had to do multiple RCMP, fingerprinted criminal record checks to prove I’m not a child rapist or abuser. Mothers? Nope. Never. You also can’t be fired from being a mother. Very few children are ever taken from abusive mothers, especially the kinds of abuse that are just commonplace or that don’t involve broken bones. You can destroy a child from the inside out over the course of your lifetime, and never lose your ‘job’.

c) Finally, and on a related note, motherhood is a choice. In most parts of the world, and increasingly so in more and more places, there is no gun to a woman’s head. Women are allowed to earn their own money, even in strict, religious countries. Unlike jobs, motherhood is not required for survival, but it is certainly the easiest route to survival for a female if you don’t want to have to compete and suffer and truly work hard in the real world. Motherhood is a choice, it is a relationship, and it is a privilege that raises your status in society (among women). You bring a creature into the world without their consent, which means this is a completely selfish act. Acting like the child is forcing you to care for them is pure delusion, although this is a common way of thinking in places like China, where parents regularly make their children feel guilty for existing and taking up family resources.

2. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Mother)

Only if you define and break down the role of Mother in the patriarchal sense, can you understand why there are so many problems for women. Mothers complain endlessly that they are held up to impossible standards or that they are blamed for everything in society where children are concerned. Note that they don’t see breeding and serving men as the root of the problem, and if you can’t see the root of a problem, that problem can never be solved. When we talk of motherhood, we are not talking about biological motherhood, we are referring to the role or archetype that has been created as a category for women. Social categories or archetypes for women are lose-lose situations. No woman ever truly wins in a society where she doesn’t have the freedom to be fully human. When men define our roles, it is not for our benefit, even when they paint it as such. Let’s look at what being a ‘Good Mother means in male-dominated society.

You know we live in a male-controlled society because the expectations for men are much lower in all possible senses, if expectations or standards exist at all. Being a ‘Good Father’ is almost meaningless. At most, it means having a paying a job so that his property can eat. Fathers don’t have to talk to the kids, spend time with them, help them, nurture them, teach them, cook for them, or anything requiring time and attention. They just have to pay the bills. I’ve seldom seen men deemed ‘Bad Fathers’, even when they run out on the family, don’t provide money, or even abuse the children or wife/whore. But I’m not criticizing this as it’s pointless and a common pastime of hetero breeder women who aren’t really interested in fighting to change a shitty system. And this system has been in place since marriage was invented by men. To be a Good Mother, you have to possess a whole host of supposedly innate female characteristics and skills, including nurturing, cleaning, cooking, empathizing, worrying, nagging, being sweet, self-sacrificing, mamma-bear-fighting, advice-giving, being omniscient, forgiving. And I could go on. The thing is that if you list the entire host of skills and characteristics that make up a Good Mother, you’ll find a lot of contradictory stuff. And a lot of the characteristics and behaviours that Good Mothers are supposed to exhibit are exalted one minute and then criticized or made fun of the next minute. It’s designed that way for a very specific reason. Male dominance is about keeping women off-balance and insecure, always faced with catch-22’s and constantly questioning whether they are measuring up to impossible or contradictory standards.

Reality: if you get past the long and strange list of what mothers are supposed to be, there really are only a few requirements. a) Good Mothers breed sons and ensure they are made well aware of their male privilege from Day 1 (to be discussed more in the section on Boy-Moms), and b) Good Mothers break down their daughters psychologically and groom them to accept eventual heterosexual victimhood as rape-slaves (wives) and mothers. Bad mothers produce gay sons, or even worse, lesbians or asexual daughters who decide not to breed. No mother wants her daughter to hate men and she certainly won’t teach her daughter about rape and how self-respect and serving males don’t go together. (Delve more into the destruction of girls in G is for Girl.)

3. Welcome to Shit Mountain: The Woman Hierarchy

In our patriarchal world, hierarchy exists. Males are very much about domination, and you should hold suspect any male who claims he is an ‘equalist’ or any kind of communist, socialist or feminist. Men, despite what they say, don’t believe in equality between the sexes. They may believe that males can be equal or at least have the ability to rise above their station, but if you have the skill to really pin a man down with regard to what he truly believes, you’ll find that every one of them has caveats and conditions that prevent females from attaining and deserving the very freedoms he believes he, as a male, is entitled to. So, males and females exist on separate planes. I’m going to describe them in the following way. Men exist on a ladder. They can rise above their station, and they can also fall. Their hierarchy is based primarily on wealth/ownership. In the distant past, physical strength may have been more important in attaining power, but in these modern times, this is not the case at all. Power is all about ownership.

It is a different scene for females.

Picture, if you will, a massive shit heap. It stinks, it begs cleaning, but cleaning doesn’t work, the shit is not just stuff to clean, but also physical and sexual danger as well as poverty, and the contributors to the pile are mainly those who oppress you – males, whose ladder hangs above you out of reach – or women who are benefitting from the oppressor class slightly more than you are. All women live on the shit heap – a hierarchy that is based almost exclusively on sex – or in other words, how you use your vagina and uterus. The easiest way to climb shit mountain is to sell your vagina to a wealthy male and to pop out some kids. The air is a little fresher near the top, you are safer with more money, and you can shit on women beneath you and feel smug about it. The surest way to the bottom, where eventually you will realize you cannot move up at all (given that sex is tied to age for women) is a) not to have kids, and b) not to let men rape you with your consent (aka you’re a lez or asexual) in exchange for protection, a home and more buying power.

It should also be noted that those lower on the hierarchy always do more to support those above them, especially those who hurt them. Interestingly, we are always told the opposite. Rich males somehow provide jobs to those lower down. But think of this. Who pays for all the male criminals in prison, keeping rapists alive so they can go out and rape again? Women’s tax dollars go into keeping alive the men who instill fear in them. All men benefit from rape – men who don’t rape indiscriminantly are ‘good men’ and can also offer their protection racket to women who fear being raped, for example – so their tax dollars are an investment. Further, there is a disproportionate, and unreciprocated, amount of lesbian labour, threats to safety, and money put into heterosexual and breeding women’s issues, such as birth control, abortion, domestic violence shelters and more – issues that are seldom, if ever, an issue for these toiling women. Lesbians also devote a disproportionate and unreciprocated amount of time and money into gay men’s (and these days, tranny dudes’) issues. Again, the lower on the shit heap you sit, the more you support your oppressors and better-offs.

Conclusion: mothers do NOT sit at the bottom of the shit heap, despite their claims that they do. Following society’s rules gives you a leg up, not the opposite. If you are breeding and suffering as a result, you likely don’t understand how heterosexuality works and failed to play the game correctly. You may not be able to save yourself at this point, but you can make sure you save your daughter(s) from forced heterosexuality and some of the evils of the world. But you won’t. Of course.

4. Martyrdom: The Blame Game vs. Responsibility

All female archetypes or roles created by men are designed for a) usage/consumption, b) control, and c) convenient scapegoating and shaming and playing us off against each other. Despite what you may want to think, I am not a denier of the fact that men have tended to blame mothers for all sorts of shit throughout history. Males in the psychological domain have been some of the worst offenders. I’m a defender of the reality of psychological mechanisms and such, but I also don’t believe males have any business working in any of the ‘helping’ professions. Male help almost always ends up further damaging women who are already damaged thanks to men and their handmaidens.

Having said that, mothers do a shit load of damage in this world, especially to daughters, and they SHOULD be called out for their often complex roles in destroying girls and building up future rapists (sons). As mentioned earlier, very few females are qualified to parent children due to a lack of standards for the ‘job’ of motherhood. Our world acknowledges that there are many problem parents, but gasp in horror if you suggest that there are people who just shouldn’t breed. Just standard patriarchal thinking, where we protect those who should know better and punish the innocent who have no choice in the matter… And I verge on digressing.

I want to mention two things mothers SHOULD be called out for in the blame game. First, they are quite happy to take responsibility for the role they play in the successes of their children, but are magically innocent and ignorant when their child ends up as a failure, screw-up or, worse, a monster. It’s just not possible to have such selective effects on behaviour. Either take full responsibility, or take no responsibility or get a clue about the extent of your sphere of influence.

Second, mothers have always protested being blamed more than fathers are for things that happen to their children or how their children end up. At the same time, they use the argument that they are the primary care-givers in custody cases. The vast majority of the time, it is the mother who is present 100% (or significant percentage) of the time for the first 5 years of a child’s life – not the father. Many fathers spend little to no time with kids, and when they do spend time, it is often ‘fun stuff’, not care-giving. And women enter breeding relationships with this understanding – if they don’t, they are definitely not qualified to breed… If you are the primary influence, then you bear the brunt of the responsibility for the shit that happens to your kid. Period.

Bottom line: if you want to want to take on the role that can be one of life or death for a minor, then you also have to be willing to take responsibility for your fuck-ups. You can’t be an adult and refuse responsibility at the same time. Don’t play the martyr.

5. Boy-Moms

They have always sat at the top of the lady-hierarchy. Even though the most blatant girl hatred manifests differently now, son love is still a thing in all cultures. As mentioned above, it is the job of a Good Mother to make sure her sons walk the planet with a distinct and internalized sense of their deservedness and privilege as males. The boy-mom of today is an uber-enabler of their son(s). Like a good mother is supposed to do, she will love him unconditionally, and will even cover up his crimes, including the most grievous woman-hating of them. Mothers rally behind a rapist son, and will go so far as to attack or censor his female victims.

As much as these women make me ill, I have to admit a fascination with the truly fucked up psychology any woman who breeds a son must deal with. You have to do mental gymnastics to let a dude fuck your body, but to create and birth a son and to watch him inevitably go from innocent, sexless baby to what so many young lads turn into, and to make the endless excuses for him over the years? To me that is just endless mental trauma to constantly have to deny reality. I’ve talked to and watched tons of boy-moms deal with the shit that comes out of their sons’ mouths. Even in the last few months, I got to know a boy-mom whose 7-year-old was constantly displaying what I consider to be budding psychopathic tendencies. She showered him with kisses constantly, while at the same time not being able to explain why most of what he talked about was hurting and/or killing people. Personally, the kid gave me the creeps, not just as someone who used to work in forensics and personality disorders, but as a woman with her eyes wide open and with no emotional or biological ties to this mini-monster-boy-child.

Advice: I’ve said this in the past and I’ll say it again. At the end of the day, boy-moms are no friends to women. They are more trauma-bonded to males than any other group of women, and when push comes to shove, they will destroy any innocent woman or girl who threatens the privilege of their son, even if that son is a killer and rapist. These women also tend to be worse to daughters when there is also a son in the picture. I’m speaking from experience, and I’ve heard enough personal anecdotes to give credence to the theory.

6. Mommy Dearest: Narcissistic Mothers:

Most of why I so wish women had freedom from forced heterosexuality and forced breeding is because of the young female victims that result. Girls are relentlessly conditioned from birth to hate themselves, and by extension, all females. So how can an adult female with a lifetime of such abuse possibly be an adequate mother to a girl? I mean, as explained above, this is part of playing the patriarchal role of Good Mother. Your job is to destroy your girls so that they make good, subservient, heterosexual victims and breeders in adulthood.

The average, ‘normal’ mother is dangerous to daughters. But what happens when your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)? These women will abuse boys, but they will absolutely destroy their daughters, psychologically. I experienced this, myself. And unfortunately, my father was co-dependent with narcissistic tendencies and a mental health professional, on top of that. It was a bad situation to grow up in (understatement!) and I went No Contact at the age of 20 (!), so let’s just say I understand manipulation and abuse on an expert level, and have a bit of a saviour complex when it comes to girls with abusive parents, especially mothers. Breeding just wasn’t even an option for me – can you imagine how selfish you’d have to be to potentially put a child at risk after growing up abused and also potentially exposing that child to abusive family members? You have to stop cycles like these.

Narcissistic mothers are often children of narcissistic parents. The thing about personality disorders is that while we may be born with certain traits, our environments can certainly make things so much worse. It isn’t a cut and dry nature-nurture situation.

Konstantin: “And your mother?…? …? No, Villanelle.”

Villanelle: “She deserved it.”

Konstantin: “Of course she deserved it. Everyone’s mother deserves it. But you’re not supposed to do it. You were supposed to grow up and realize she isn’t actually evil. She is just insane.

From the series, ‘Killing Eve’. Conversation following Villanelle’s return from Russia after killing her abusive, NPD mother.

If you are female and believe your mother was/is NPD, I have a great link in my sidebar to a site called Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. It was recommended to me years ago by a fellow traumatized woman, and it helped me a great deal. You can spend most of your life feeling like you are insane or imagining things in this horrible and bizarre parental situation. You’ve stopped telling people because no one will ever believe that your mother is abusive – mothers are more likely to be lionized and defended than blamed, despite what mothers say. And it is really hard to describe narcissistic abuse to people who have never experienced it before. You do end up sounding like there is something wrong with you.

7. The Future of Humanity: Redefining Motherhood

I am a staunch anti-natalist. I don’t support human breeding. I don’t believe it is possible for humans to continue on a positive trajectory as long as males exist, as I don’t believe women can be free if males exist. I don’t believe males can redeem themselves, and women exist as male-defined social constructs. Things aren’t getting better socially, politically, demographically, environmentally, economically, and they won’t.

I like to spend time thinking about three human scenarios that seem positive to me and that most people find scary, mostly because most people are self-centred and human-centric and are often infected with male-created religious values, which are anti-life (ironically, given what they say they believe in).

a) VHEM – the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. This is based on the idea that humans are a failed experiment of sorts. More males than females sign on to this ideology, which makes sense to me, as women tend to buy into male-defined roles, and thus cannot develop identities outside of being sex objects. The idea of not breeding, like men have told us we must since time began, strips so many women of their identity, sadly. Anyhow, male believers in this ideology typically and erroneously like to share blame for the state of the world with women. Myself, I acknowledge that males have created overpopulation and all the shit that has resulted from that. I have no problem with humans just stopping and giving the world over to the remaing creatures who absolutely are able to control their populations simply because they don’t have the ‘intelligence’ to fuck with the system. Human intelligence in the hands of men means that male irrationality reigns and we live unnaturally.

b) A New Model of Motherhood. If we were to continue the human race, one option is to eliminate males, put breeding firmly in the domain of women, who after recovering from slavery, would rediscover their natural biophilia. Multiple options would exist to continue the species. Parthenogenisis or use of artifical wombs coupled with a female model of population replacement rather than the male model of out-of-control growth would allow humans to downsize to a small unobtrusive population, replenish and maintain healthy resource levels, and remove biological child ownership from the mix and surrounding all children with multiple sources of love and learning. Humans can live more like similar mammal species instead of necrophilic zombots.

c) Hybridization. I’m a big fan of human transformation. Male elimination, as in the previous category, is a given and is necessary for healthy evolution, and the best traits of humanity could be blended with say, plants. Plants are incredible and responsible breeders, and I’d be perfectly keen seeing how other human systems, such as communication, would be improved and simplified with a different kind of connectedness such as use of a plantesque root system.

Conclusion

There is so much more that could be said on this topic, but I’ll end here with the following. I would truly love to see what humanity could and would look like if women could live completely separate from or without the existence of males. Nothing but horrors have resulted from male domination, and the world is certainly not thriving because of it. Our accomplishments are not true accomplishments, especially when held up against the widespread suffering of all species. I would love to see motherhood defined differently, or not at all. I would certainly love to see women and girls free from being forced to define themselves in terms of their uteri and vaginas. Queer theory does not address this problem by erasing women as a category. The problem is not having female body parts, but the fact that we are oppressed by males because of them.

If you want to be part of the solution, don’t breed (if you haven’t done so yet). Support girls unconditionally and believe them and believe in them. Stay away from male-identified, toxic females if you can. And don’t devote your time, money and energy to males if that is possible for you. And finally, remember that we women exist publicly, and often privately, in male-defined categories. It’s best, but hardest, to fight against this categorization. Remember that almost all women you meet gave in a long time ago. Hold them responsible for their actions, but not for the creation of these limiting boxes.

♀️ If you care to support Story Ending Never, we are appreciative. ⚢

Addendum

For those who would like a wonderfully done audio version of this post, please head to Radical Ramblings’ Youtube channel.