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R is for Rape – Part IV – Valley of the Dolls
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
But my life would be so sublime
If I bought a robot girl online…
My robot girlfriend
The best relationship I’d ever be in…from ‘Robot Girlfriend Song’ by Rhett and Link, standard liberal white male internet ‘comedians’ and songsters
I know, I know. I said I’d write three posts on R is for Rape, focusing on issues of consent rather than cut-and-dry forcible rape, but there is so much juicy stuff here, and I just couldn’t help myself. At this point, I’m mulling over a fifth and final one, but I need to re-watch a film I saw waaay back when I was about 19-20 in order to see if my recollections are accurate and relevant to the topic. Anyhow, in this post, I plan to talk about a moral quagmire that only exists because males exist – oh ffs, what moral dilemmas aren’t the result of men and their insistence that their privileges and perversions are actually rights?
I’m going to kick things off by asking you to consider something. Have you ever done violence to a machine malfunctioning in your life? You know, you get a flat tire on your bike or car and you kick it as you’re now going to be late for an appointment. Or your computer fan starts making a weird noise, so you bang it a bit to shake loose any dust or to jolt any lose mechanisms back into place. And after some initial satisfaction gleaned from a moment of frustration and aggression, did you later feel bad, thinking to yourself, “Shit, it’s not my car or computer’s fault. Why did I have to act out that way? How would I feel if someone knocked me about if I didn’t perform correctly?” Likely, if you have abused one of the machines in your life, you never gave it a second thought afterwards. It’s a machine after all. We own them, and they exist at our pleasure. We can trade them in or even discard them in the nearest toxic, earth-killing landfill if they stop working or we want a newer, better model, right?
But do our feelings and actions change as our machines become more intuitive or integral to our lives? We’ve entered a stage in technological development where inventors dream of designing machines that will approach and even surpass human intelligence and capability. Ready to serve our every need and protect us from dangerous, strenuous, and/or boring work. But what will be our relationships to them? What will be their various purposes? I think the answers to these questions will be very different for males and females. We are, after all, very different creatures biologically and socially, and as a result, intellectually and ethically.
It is a well observed and even documented fact that males are more violent, more emotionally volatile, more illogical in their thinking and actions, and have behaviours that are much more dangerous to the earth and to society in general, and particularly, women and girls, than females are and have. Men try to argue that this is not true, and predictably, blame and responsibility are the only things they are willing to share with women. But the proof is in observation, anecdote, and collected data across time and place. And remember: single, aberrant cases don’t negate large-scale truths. Propensity for dominating, controlling, and doing violence is vastly different depending on biological sex, in general. The same is true of our creative endeavours. So much of male creation or invention is rooted in violence and domination. Think of how much of what is attributed to males comes out of trying to create weapons, trying to control various groups of people, or trying to satisfy male sexual perversions through harming women but dressing it up as ‘a basic human male right’. Even when males steal ideas and inventions from women, they inevitably transform them into something beneficial to the violent male nature and harmful to females as a class. There are millions of examples – you just need to open your eyes and look around you.
Humans have been designing and implementing machines and technology for thousands of years. For most of this period, inventions have been simple, but life-changing, but we’ve only fairly recently entered a period of accelerated development. And with that development have come ethical debates. Personally, I think those debates have only come about with the allowance of women into the public intellectual forum as women, as a rule, tend to think more about the impact of actions and processes on life and to question the value in what is called ‘progress’, while males tend to be motivated by recognition and wealth accumulation and don’t seem to be bothered by a ‘progress at any cost’ mentality.
Valley of the Sex Dolls
The latest multidisciplinary realm of tech-related ethical debates is that of AI or Artificial Intelligence and Robotics. It seemed logical following human periods of intense agricultural labour, and then the Industrial Revolution – both periods involving heavy and dangerous workloads, especially for the poor, and plenty of injury and death because of survival, public demand and competition to meet that demand. Given that we likely won’t slide back technologically unless there is some kind of extinction-level event, AI and robots seem like a good idea to take on dangerous and repetitive tasks. This is a whole separate and massive topic that I’m not going to dive down into in this article. What I want to talk about is the fact that in the hands of men, all technology end up being used for other purposes that have nothing to do with making life better for humankind. And with regard to AI and robots, I’m talking about the ‘sex industry’. Of course.
Now, I was a kid in the 1970’s and ’80’s, and we all sort of knew about blow-up sex dolls. Not that we had ever seen one, or totally understood why this kind of thing might be appealing, but somehow, kids always find out about the shit that males claim they need to exist. To this day, I’ve never seen one of those simplistic man-toys in person, although I’ve been to a few sex shops out of morbid curiosity where I’ve seen slightly more sophisticated and expensive items that men like to stick their dicks in, like severed female pelvises with fillable holes. Sexy shit, man… I also remember sometime in adulthood – maybe when I was living in Taiwan – hearing about a bunch of Chinese teenaged boys who got together to buy a plastic sex doll and ended up spreading syphilis or something equally gross to each other after failing to clean their shared plastic girlfriend’s holes. But we live in an advanced age now dammit (!), and blow-up dolls seem so crude and cold, and require too much work to inflate besides. We’ve managed to develop very life-like sex dolls and even sex robots – or sex androids might be the more accurate term – that can talk and are warm to the touch. And it is very difficult to imagine that in the not-too-distant future, AI will develop enough to convince males that they are dealing with a real live human female, until she rips his dick of with superhuman strength, that is! Just joking. I’ll get into this a bit later.
There has been a surge in the openings of sex doll brothels around the world: Canada, Russia, all over Europe, Japan, and plenty more. The demand is definitely there, even in countries that ban imports of sex dolls or that make prostitution illegal, and somehow, I don’t think the interest is just a simple interest in a novel experience. If that were true, we wouldn’t be seeing a surge in the purchase of private units. While there may be several reasons for males’ vacant inner lives venturing into this new territory of sexual depravity, I think there is an overwhelming underlying reason:
In an age where men have to worry a little bit about the legal system, unlike for most of human history, they want to be able to do whatever the fuck they want to a female body without having to worry about consent or any kind of repercussions. In other words, they want to have a rape experience (otherwise known as heterosexual intercourse) without it ever becoming an issue to defend against, let alone think about in an ethical way.
What About Advanced AI Androids and Superintelligences?
I’ve made a little flow chart below showing a possible convergence between humans and machines and you can click on the pic to enlarge it. On the human side of things, I list general groupings of humans in order from highest value to lowest value. And on the machine side of things, I list technology in order from most simplistic to most complex, and perhaps their value to human society also increases with advanced capability. The nature of patriarchy or male-dominated society is hierarchy. There is no such thing as equality. Males of course, sit at the top. I’ve talked about female hierarchy in past posts, noting that females who fulfill their dick-sucking and breeding duties are the most highly valued, and I’ve noted that at the bottom are both prostitutes and lesbians. It is really hard to say which is valued the least. In some cultures, lesbians can be both imprisoned and put to death legally, whereas prostitutes may just be jailed. Perhaps this is just because prostitutes are of more use and value to males while lesbians provide men with nothing except a target for hate and blame. Regarding machines, I argue that as technology approaches some kind of human ‘intelligence’, it is valued more by male society. My question thus becomes: if a prostitute faces off against a superintelligent android, who wins?
Well, let’s think about superintelligence and the future of AI and whether one of these entities can fool humans or replace humans completely. I am not going to go crazily in-depth on this topic as it has been discussed to death everywhere and there are sooo many academic theories on what constitutes artificial intelligence and the defining features of consciousness. But I’ll say a few words with regard to rights and consent as that is the issue here.
Very, very basically, to be conscious means to be self-aware. It involves having emotions, independent subjective thoughts, desires, inspiration and wisdom. At a more advanced level, it means being able to understand motives and intent and to adapt and respond accordingly, and it means to be able to experience empathy. At the most advanced level of consciousness, an entity surpasses human intelligence, and can override human programming to serve its own needs. Many believe that AI will never reach this state, but one never knows. Currently, our technology can make decisions and predictions based on data and do difficult computations and classifications, but that is not human-level consciousness. So if an entity is not technically conscious, is it deserving of rights? At what point would a machine be deserving of workers’ or just existential rights in the way that humans are supposed to be? And in the case of a technically conscious sex robot, would she require the protection that consent pretends to offer to human females, and more importantly, would she be able to override her programming that causes her to allow males to rape her by default in order to consent to that rape on a case by case basis?
Are These Ethical Issues Worth Thinking About or Do Sex Robots Solve Anything for Women?
The ethicality of sex robots and what they mean for womankind is a frequently debated topic and of course, nothing ever gets solved – much in the same way that debates on whether prostitution should be legalized hasn’t solved anything for women in the big picture. One side argues that sex robots increases the dehumanization of females and leads to more sex-based violence and disrespect, and the other side argues that sex robots rescue women from having to work in prostitution, thus saving female lives and decreasing suffering. Some idiots even argue that sex robots provide an opportunity to teach males about consent, like males give a shit about how they treat women. No, the problem is that, when debating issues that pertain to global female well-being, almost no one understands or is willing to admit they understand the true underlying issue. The underlying issue isn’t male miseducation, or poor definitions of consent or sex crimes, or making prostitution legal. The underlying problem is males themselves. They are weaponized humans with both an inbuilt drive to dominate and commit violence and an easily learned feeling of deservedness when it comes to their freedom and behaviour and how others should treat them. They universally enact double standards when it comes to dealing with females and don’t see a problem with it. Until you solve the problem of male existence – meaning you eliminate them altogether, you reduce their population to about 5% of the total, and/or you control their movements through a system of surveillance – women and girls will always suffer the consequences of male existence because males run the world in a way that benefits them and causes degradation, poverty, and suffering for females. So any debate about what males create or do that causes problems for the world is all a bit silly because you can’t solve it. Unless you name the real problem, you solve nothing. Sex robots or no sex robots, you solve nothing for females.
One Final Note: Retaliation – What If They Turn Against Us?
You’ll notice that this is ALWAYS a question that men ask when talking about other groups: racial or ethnic groups that they have enslaved, aliens coming to our planet from outer space, and now AIs and superintelligences. You never hear women voice concerns about this. Why? Well, males are generally unable to see things from others’ perspectives because they are the entitled predator class, and predators’ automatic behaviour is to see all others as threats and to neutralize them through assault, enslavement, abuse, and destruction. They justify this by telling themselves and the world that if they didn’t do it, then they themselves would be destroyed. We’ve all been at the receiving end of soldiers and veterans – and I’ve witnessed this many many times in the US – who attack their critics by telling them that if not for soldiers and the shit they do, we’d all be victimized and lose our ‘freedom’. But soldiers are specialized predators, and they and males in general, can only foresee that another group would seek to act as predators too, even if there is no evidence to support that motivation.
Interestingly, but unsurprisingly, men are more testerical about robot retaliation than they are about female retaliation. Of course, you get a segment of the male population obsessed with supposed female power, envisioning being kept on farms and having their sperm harvested by angry lesbians in the near future, complaining about the rapid onset of the pussification of society, and even believing that matriarchy is a done deal – females already ruling the world and all systems supporting female power. Laughable of course, as this is clearly a simple and infantile example of the Freudian defense mechanism: projection. All men know on some level that they are the oppressors. In fact, women have never risen en masse against men, despite millennia of being treated as prey and even slaves, including repeated and documented atrocities against them and the widespread suffering that still exists, but that is written off as separate, one-off experiences that have nothing to do with males as a dangerous predator class. In fact, still today, the vast majority of women have been successfully programmed to seek out, accept, and even enjoy their addiction-driven and fear-based subservience to men, and thus have no power as a class. The few women who do speak out or rebel are quickly destroyed in a variety of ways, even by fellow females, so they pose no threat. At the end of the day, the average male sees future female retaliation in about the same way that he fears retaliation from say, his refrigerator. Women are not predators, but controlled things, in other words.
Rather, average males, in addition to the testerical ones mentioned above, are far more worrried about losing control of robots, specifically those with AI capabilities that allow them to learn beyond their programming. It’s interesting. All males with these kinds of persecution complexes tend to be those who know on some level that they deserve punishment for the evils they have done in their lives. Despite many women’s willing ignorance, we are all extremely aware of how much violence is done to women by males. The data are there for all to see. We also know that consuming violent pornography is linked with greater violence against women. And men also know that women won’t retaliate. But data are coming in regarding male violence done to female sex dolls and robots. Around the world are examples of violence, including molestation, mutilation and decapitation. Males might try to write this off as fantasy at this point, just as they do in their writing, stand-up comedy, television and films, but there will come a day where sex robots will become advanced enough to have rights and perhaps the right to give and withhold consent. And I think that is part of the male testeria about robot retaliation. Human women won’t do it, but maybe sex robots will.
I want to thank you and spank you upon your silver skin
Robots don’t care where I’ve been
You’ve got to choose it to use it, so let me plug it in
Robots are my next of kin.from ‘Go Robot’ by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
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O is for Other
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Don’t worry I’m not like other girls
From the song ‘Not Like Other Girls’ by Melbourne-based Bares (fronted by Ella Sterland) – released on their self-titled album in 2017.
I’m a cooler better version than what you have heard
About what women enjoy and what they like to commit to
I’m not like other girls because you treat them like shit
And I’m not about that..
Once in a while, I go back and read old posts. I like to see if and how my thinking has changed over the years and also whether I can include links to past articles in my new ones. I vaguely remembered as I was preparing the current article that I had written something about Other before, and lo and behold, in my first month of writing back in 2015, I posted something called Otherfucker, a sort of tongue-in-cheek proposition to rebrand, but with an alteration, one of our best-loved female slurs (popularized in my generation by good old Samuel L. Jackson in the movie, Pulp Fiction). Note that I’ve never tried out this new word, probably because, believe it or not, I very seldom use cuss words in the meat world, unless I’m swearing under my breath in reaction to something really bad or someone has actually assaulted me and I decide to let loose on them.
Anyhow, today in O is for Other, I plan to talk about the following:
- Women Defending Men – aka Not All MenTM or Not My NigelTM or some variation on Unicorns are Real!
- Men Defending Themselves – the scourge we know as ‘male feminists’
- Women Pandering to Men – or what online misogynists have labelled ‘pick-me girls’
- Men Manipulating Women – à la ‘you’re not like all the other girls’
- People Silencing Women – e.g., ‘at least you’re not a Muslim woman’ or ‘other people have it worse, so shut up’
- Men Depersonalizing Women – or creating an ‘other’ for the purpose of punishment
- Men Dehumanizing Women – the basis of patriarchy, capitalism and porn culture
One thing you’re going to notice about all of these categories is that every one of the people who fall within seems to have an aversion to dealing with reality. Men don’t like reality because it would require them to take responsibility for their crimes and other shitty behaviour. Women don’t like reality because they know they would look very stupid because of their decisions and they’d realize how much of their energy and lives they’d wasted on males who approach relationships very differently than women do. Just a note to the women, it is very good to self-analyze. It is okay to realize you’ve made a mistake (or mistakes!). The important thing is to admit them and learn from them. Then you can get better and go on to help other women do and be better.
So, let’s start with a definition.
In and of itself, ‘other’ is a neutral word. It just means different or distinct. But it can take on a negative connotation in its adjective form, but especially when it’s used as a verb. To ‘other’ someone means to view or treat a person or group of people as intrinsically different from and alien to oneself. Othering can serve to demonize certain people and groups as well as sanitize. One hard, fast rule, though, is that in this game, women always lose and men always win.
1. Women Defending Men. 99% of women are desperate to believe that men are redeemable. They birth males, they let males fuck their bodies, and by and large, women have marginally better relationships with fathers and father figures than they do with mothers. As a result, they are deeply invested in looking for Good MenTM. These men are not like other men – the convicted rapists, the sexist bosses, the gropers on buses and trains. The bar is very low when defining ‘good’. All a dude has to do is not get caught raping a woman to pass as a stellar example of manhood. I’d bet that the average wife or girlfriend would be shocked (and then would rebound with denial and fierce defence of Nigel) to find out what her owner actually thinks and does without her knowledge. In reality, Good Men are unicorns – they don’t exist. There is no ‘other’. There is just a spectrum of shit. The awfulness of the smell is therefore relative.
2. Men Defending Themselves. Lots of men, even gynocidal psychopaths, believe they are special and innocent. They are not like other men. Some of the most dishonest and repulsive these days are what we know as Male Feminists. These are leftie, human-rightsy males who are the strongest proponents of female sexual power. You know, the power to inspire boners! They organize slut marches. They march at the front of Take Back the Night rallies. They attend and dominate the discussions at feminist events and in online discussions. They are super great at leading women and telling women how to do feminism, and more importantly, what they’re doing wrong. And not that they explicitly demand it, but if women want to show their gratitude by sucking their dicks, they fully support them because they believe that women have the agency to do so. See? They’re amazing! Very un-self-serving and humble and feminist. But. Yes, there is a but (if you actually need one). If you are a real feminist and astutely question or challenge this male feminist, you are in for a treat. You will discover a viciousness and misogyny under the surface to rival any MRA or trannie. He will let you know that he is not like other men, and you are unfairly victimizing him by acting like a man-hating, angry, hairy, crazy lesbian. He might express sad-feelz at your total stupidity and/or the obvious trauma you’ve experienced and haven’t yet gotten over. Bottom line is: Support withdrawn, bitch!
3. Women Pandering to Men. Pick-me girls. This is a real phenomenon, but of course, the labelling and awareness of the phenomenon has been influenced by American television and social media. Women have, throughout history, pandered to men out of necessity. When half of the population has the power of life or death, comfort or poverty, safety or vulnerability over the other half, then pandering and many more degrading behaviours result on the part of the oppressed group. You can’t blame the panderers for starting the whole thing, but pick-me girls/women do deliberately sell out their sex for the approval of males, and are thus accountable for their behaviour, especially in a day and age when it isn’t necessary at all for survival. They make a public show of not adopting standard gendered behaviour (such as applying make-up, dressing in a feminine way, or acting like a sexy child, etc) while appearing to adopt the stereotypical, gendered behaviour of males (such as liking sports, being unemotional, and over-eating without concern for gaining weight), and thus are not like the ‘other’ girls. And they publicly point out this otherness to males to show how they are better. Ironically, they are just as woman-hating and dick-sucking as the women they denigrate. All women who pander to males or the male gaze exhibit internalized misogyny. It is possibly even more pathetic than when a female thinks she is doing something ’empowering’, such as wearing make-up, but is actually perpetuating misogyny. But in the end, they are two sides of the same coin that ends up in men’s pockets. There is so much self-hatred and psychological trauma fuelling this behaviour. And despite their sabotage of women, they just end up used and abused like any other ‘heterosexual’ female. One day, these women lose their special ‘other’ status because no woman can be better than all the others forever. It’s not the woman, but the man that decides when she has finally joined the masses.
4. Men Manipulating Women. This is the male counterpart of the ‘pick-me’ female duo. Men have a lot of weapons in their arsenal for use in manipulating, using and abusing women (see my post: That’s Some Arsenal You’ve Got There, Gentlemen). The relevant one here is that of bestowing the backhanded compliment of ‘otherness’ on a target. You’ve likely had a dude try this on you before. He’ll say something like, “You’re cool. You’re not a bitch like other girls.” So he pays you a compliment, but he is also insulting you at the same time. You don’t have to be young, naive or inexperienced to fall for this hardcore manipulation technique. Most people want to be appreciated and loved for some special quality. The problem is that the specialness that so many men point out in women is that they don’t act like women, but rather, more like men. (Geez, just go get a boyfriend already, you closeted omnisexuals…). So males will praise females for being accepting of porn use, being open to trying anal sex, or for being thin while also eating as much as a man. It is hyper-misogynistic, but the love-starved female will eat up these pseudo-love-bombs. Her internalized misogyny will be reinforced, and she’ll doubly commit herself to not stepping out of line (i.e., acting human, rather than… god forbid, female). What she doesn’t realize is that one day she will fail. She may question her sub-human status or make a demand on the relationship that doesn’t suit her owner. Or she may not actually do anything different at all. All that needs to happen is that the man gets tired of her. All he needs to do is manufacture a fault or just notice that she is human, rather than an object catering to his every wish. And she becomes just like all the other girls. Again, such a waste of a human life.
5. People Silencing Women. This one, I’ve written about before. These days, it manifests as racist misogyny, it is a form of othering for the purpose of scapegoating, censoring and cancelling, and it is predominantly done to white women. It is a standard reaction to the perception of a group of women getting too much attention. There is always backlash when women get too powerful in the eyes of men and their supporters. In reality, the actual power achieved has been negligible. White women have never had and still don’t have power, have never been equal, and have never been over-represented or even proportionately represented in any line of work, despite what people need to believe. And like all women, they have only had a voice when orbiting the privilege of a male through marriage or male family members or speaking about issues that concern anyone and everyone but themselves. Anyhow, like mentioned in previous posts, calling up a handy acceptable victim group, usually brown or black women, is the fastest way to shame and silence white feminists, even if they are poor or in desperate need of help for rape or violence victimization.
6. Men Depersonalizing Women. As a woman, have you ever noticed that we have limited choices for our ‘identities’ simply because they tend to be discrete boxes or categories that don’t seem quite natural? You often feel like you don’t fit what’s available, and the choices available, as it is, seem equally challenging or unappealing. And if you are a WGTOW – woman going your own way, eschewing categorization – you face serious hardship, unlike men who are worshipped for forging their own path when they do the exact same thing. Men put us in boxes for a reason. Power and control. To create ‘us’ and ‘them’ or ‘other’. And in addition, it is easier to other and dismiss and move on to dehumanization when you can lump a bunch of things/people together. A group has no identity, no face. Without a face, you don’t need to see them as like you. They are undeserving of sympathy or empathy. So it is easy to apply stereotypes and use them as weapons. Men can demarcate the rules and limits for each group. They can judge and punish when a member oversteps or errs. They can designate certain groups as scapegoats and blame them for the very things they themselves perpetrate. Men have done this to the class of women known as prostitutes since the ‘oldest profession’ was forced into being by men. No other class of women has been so used and abused as convenient blame targets for problems that men have created. And many heterosexual, married women have piled on over the centuries, blaming prostitutes for men’s abuses, despite their actual roles as women not being much different.
7. Men Dehumanizing Women. This is the basis of patriarchy in general, and capitalism and porn culture, specifically. Dehumanization is the removal of human status or qualities from an individual or group. Men are human. Women are ‘other’. Sub-human. Non-human. Object. No oppressed group has ever been more dehumanized than females. We see this in language with the sheer number of slurs heaped on women, which include reducing women to body parts, objects and animals. No oppressed group has ever experienced the range and amount of dehumanizing language that females have. And females are still the most slurred and dehumanized group on the planet today even though we focus on every group BUT women. It is so pervasive and normalized that no one even notices it, and women are shamed if they call attention to it. Women and girls even adopt the language of their own dehumanization, which reinforces continued male use. “If women accept it and use it, then it is a-okay! Carry on, boys!” We also see the dehumanization of females in the use of ‘she’ to describe tools and machines. Cars, boats, and aircraft are among the many inanimate objects that are called ‘she’. Men also, throughout time, have referred to the manipulating and using a woman’s body as if they are playing of a musical instrument.
It is only when women are ‘other’, completely dehumanized, that we can be commodified. Women’s bodies are for sale and for rent, and it is the foundation of capitalism. Without the dehumanization and commodification of women’s bodies, capitalism cannot exist. What is even worse, however, is that not only do males consider it ethical to buy or rent a woman’s body, but because she is a thing, they also don’t acknowledge her suffering. Objects don’t suffer; they exist to be used. When a man adopts that attitude, he can justify anything he does to the object as it is his for the period he has paid for.
And I’ll leave you all with this final thought. Otherness is perfectly fine and natural in a world where human complexity allows for individual and group differences. Strict, unthinking conformity is seldom a good thing. Problems only arise, when otherness is forced upon others for the purpose of cruelty or blame, or when you adopt it yourself in order to claim a special or uber-victim status and to manipulate or silence others. It’s all likely easier to navigate if we try to understand where our own personal human rights begin and end, and when they start to trample others’.
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Why Don’t We Use Public Humiliation and Shaming on Men?
Humiliation and shaming are important tools in the arsenal that men are handed at birth to be used mostly against girls and women. One of the fastest ways to get females to comply or to desist is to take a behaviour that has been forced on them and to make them feel dirty and evil for doing it. A super-nova mindfuck if there ever was one.
There are few countries more adept at passive-aggressive fuckery than China. It is an accepted practice in all environments to psychologically destroy people. Public shaming and humiliation – and the key part in a hive-mind culture is the PUBLIC part of this – is a well-loved tactic. When I lived in the Chinese countryside several years ago, I remember walking past one of the community bulletin boards. A communist leader had posted some photos that were part of the official government record and they told the story of several public humiliations. I wish I’d photographed the photos at the time – I wish I’d done that with a lot of the shit I saw in what I consider to be ‘real China’, the countryside, the China that most of the world never, ever sees – it seemed very medieval to me. In a nutshell, in each photo was depicted a person who was clearly some kind of criminal. A sign had been hung around their neck and they were stood in front of the community who all looked on. Public humiliation and shaming. Arrest wasn’t enough of a punishment. The people had to be made an example publicly. It is an extraordinarily effective form of punishment.
And it is commonly used on women.
In a recent post, Radical Witch (sadly, her blog has been discontinued) pointed out astutely that in no country do cops take the harm and subjugation of women seriously. In fact, they often support it and participate in it. They are mostly men, working in an aggressive, power-driven field. They have everything to gain by destroying women. China is no different.
Some photos have come out demonstrating how the police treat prostitutes in China.
Prostitution is illegal in China. But like all males in the world, Chinese men love it, want it, use it, and publicly denigrate the fact that it exists, and more importantly, the women who become trapped in it. And prostitution is rampant. The government calls it illegal, but all officials use prostitutes during their meetings and official visits. And then, every once in a while, something like what is depicted in the photos above happens. Only men win here.
Several years ago, I was taking some Chinese classes, and I was talking to one British dude who worked as a chemist and a manager in a toxic chemical plant in Southern China. He was in charge of meeting with Chinese government officials in order to do health and safety checks. As he recalled one event, the officials showed up, completely hand-waved the inspections away, and waited for him to provide the food, drink and prostitutes. This is very, very standard for China. Revelry and debauchery on the public dime (rmb) and then signatures on crucial documents that are supposed to make sure workers have safe environments and that the environment is safe from human dealings.
So here is my question. Why the fuck don’t we start publicly humiliating men for the shit they do to women? And I mean serious public humiliation. As it is, public knowledge of a politician sending a dick pic or getting caught with prostitutes does nothing to stop him from further success – especially if he is religious. But let’s parade him naked in public. Let’s measure his dick on camera and make comments about its inadequacy. Let’s pose him in a degrading pose he forced upon the prostitutes he used and laugh at him. I mean seriously, if this stuff is acceptable and effective against women who have done nothing wrong other than try to survive in a world that hates them, I’m willing to try it on men – cops, politicians, CEOs, and hell, regular guys! – to stop their actual crimes. We’ll see how much longer they continue raping and murdering and torturing and threatening if there are actual, serious consequences for their actions.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Except in this case, it would be justified and reasonable. And fuck it, I love social experiments.
[Part II: Public Humiliation in Action – High School Edition]
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Liquid Courage and Stopping a Dick Mid-Swing
Yeah, this is a rant. Not light, and not short. Warning given. Proceed at your own risk 😉
I don’t drink that much. Alcohol has long been associated with abuse, fear, and rape for me, so I stay well away from drunk men, drinking with men I don’t know or trust (which is, at this point, every single one of them), and places where people drink. In my experience, you severely raise the risk that not only will something bad happen to you, but also that you won’t have a leg of credibility to stand on when (not if) something happens to you. This is women’s reality. Alcohol provides men with an excuse for their criminal behaviour, and takes away from women everything including the slightest shred of believability or humanity.
I almost completely limit my alcohol consumption to the occasional bottle of foreign red wine (decent alcohol is very expensive in China), and I’m such a light weight that it can last me for 3 days. And it does the trick, it dulls my depression and makes me forget the worst parts of living in China. Temporarily.
But in the last few years, there is one other time that I have a few drinks, and that is the two or three times a year that I go out socially with this piece of shit, 61-year-old, white, British, male misogynist whom I’ve tolerated because a) he is a rare atheist, and b) he is a colleague and unfortunately, one of my few ‘allies’ (wrong word) where I work. I’ve described this douchebag before.
I was much less enraged three years ago when I first met DB (douchebag). I tolerated his mansplainy narcissism. And this is a topic for another post, but even though every country’s males have their own unique brand of misogyny, there is something I absolutely fucking hate about British men. I’m not sure if it is my perspective as a woman from the “New World”, but I find men from “Old World” countries (Western or Eastern) have a very deep-seated, centuries-old, traditional misogyny that you don’t see in places like Canada, New Zealand, Australia or even the US. It’s not specifically religious. It’s something else. A colonizer mentality. And there is some left over colonial, British Empire attitude that sits in the DNA of British men – the men who raped, conquered and held hostage half the world and left destruction in their wake. The somewhat subdued, historic pomposity of British men is, in many ways, more obnoxious than the loud, superhero, dumb jock, ‘we’re number one!’ ignorance of modern American men. It’s hard to explain. And I will say that I don’t see any of that in comparing the women of both worlds, except perhaps in how they rationalize their slavery. But of course, women don’t colonize. They don’t attack, invade, rape, pillage, kidnap, infect, kill, or any of that, in the name of discovery, conquering, ‘civilizing’, taming, nationalism, or claiming one’s birthright or cockright. I like British women just as I like American women and any other women from any place. Individual women may pose problems, but as a class, they are not the enemy.
So anyhow, after my first week swimming in Chinese semen, I had planned a strategic Saturday outing with DB. Not for fun. I needed crucial information related to my job. I figured I’d get this toxic event out of the way and be safe from further exposure for months – perhaps even for the rest of the semester.
When out with DB, there is alcohol. He is a fucking fish. An alcoholic (like most older men who come to China). He jokes about going to class everyday having to mask the smell of alcohol consumed the night before leaking out of his pores with his sweat. I usually have a few drinks while I’m on these outings with DB because it helps me suffer through his grossness.
But on this recent outing, I discovered a more practical and useful side effect. I found courage.
I am really good at defending other people – women especially – but I am horrible at defending myself or having general debates. I’m not an orator. I prefer to think, mull, and write, rather than have a verbal discussion. I’d also rather avoid men who disgust me than get into arguments with them about things they don’t understand and that involve my human rights and their male privileges. Once the insanity starts, I tend to close down and fantasize about killing them. But on Saturday, after a few drinks and in the feminist frame of mind I’ve been in, especially recently, I was ready for a fight of the verbal sort. I mean, I still sat there for much of it imagining a clean shot put between DB’s eyes. But verbally, I trounced that fucker, and did it using his own (and all men’s) low-blow and aggressive techniques against him. And those techniques mostly involved interrupting. Shutting down his irrelevant lines of thought before he could complete them. Dismissing his rebuttals. Derailing his derail attempts. Refusing to defend myself and my claims. Keeping on the attack rather than the defense. Basically, I treated him as he has always treated me – as men always treat women. And it worked. It didn’t gain me respect necessarily, and it didn’t feel ‘natural’ to me, but it shut him up. Instead of the male voice, I eventually got silence. Blessed silence. The male voice, silenced. He gave up trying to dominate me and forcing me to back down and agree to his misogynist viewpoint. He took on the pouty, abused, ‘is-is-is she saying no to me?’ look that some men get when women speak with authority or righteous anger. Didn’t stop me. I firmly believe that women can’t ever win or be heard or make men shut up unless they use the ‘master’s tools’ against the masters themselves. Men don’t understand anything but aggression. Reasoning doesn’t work. Appeals to logic or empathy or humanity don’t work. But a good beating, verbal or physical, coupled with shaming, do. It’s what they do to us. I get so tired of women refusing to see that taking the high moral ground will never, ever make men stop their abuse of us. Even men’s request for ‘educating’ aren’t true or real, but women fall for it every time. That derailing technique works every time. Women’s energy derailed and stolen.
Not until you become more self-aware do you realize how much woman-hate is organic to conversations with men. Almost everything men say smacks of misogyny. But we don’t notice, or we laugh along, or we get nervous, or we have already tuned out and are nodding and smiling in boredom. When you become self-aware, it is horrifying how nasty and ignorant men are. And they remain unopposed by all men and almost all women. Honestly, I should have brought a massive fucking misogynist bingo card with me. This guy hit almost every stupid point that men come up with when trying to assert their dominance and entitlement/’rights’. It was trope central. And standard to pretty much all British men, even the young ones, he kicked it all off with basic fighting words: “mankind“. And it went on from there. Here are only a few of the highlights:
Religion, not men, caused gynocidal events in history
DB is a history buff (male history) and he is both a China apologist and an atheist. China can do no wrong and is superior for not being a religious country (except that traditionalism is a form of religion – a topic for another post). DB loves dictatorships and censorship (as long as HE is free to do what HE wants, that is).
I had pointed out that the two worst events in the history of humans: 1000 years of footbinding in China and 300 years of witch burnings and torture of women in the West. DB immediately leapt in with a condemnation of religion. I cut him off. Nope. That doesn’t explain footbinding. I just kept repeating: “Men did it. Male hatred of women. Misogyny.” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Dumb people need repetition. And you can list all the horrific gynocides throughout history – DUE TO MEN. The 6-week rape-fest in Nanjing, China by the Japanese. Not religion. Men. The perfection of what we now know as the ‘concentration camp’ by Winston Churchill and Lord Kitchener used on Afrikaner women and children. Not religion. Men. Cruise through time. Make notes. Men have done it all to women. Men. Men. Men. To women. Women. Women. And it seldom makes the history books or history class curricula.
Chimps trade meat for sex
Atheist men fucking LOVE LOVE LOVE evolutionary psychology as a tool to try to justify their love of rape and domination. Atheist men hate you too, ladies. This particular stupid douchebag doesn’t have a single course in science. He doesn’t even have a college degree. Through some weird British educational loophole, this idiot was let into a Masters program in something that was decidedly not science, WITHOUT an undergraduate degree. But he loves to try to school ME in science, a woman with post graduate education in science, published articles in science, research in science, and teaching experience in university scientific methodology and statistics. And like most atheist men without an understanding of science, he trots out debunked evo-psych bullshit based on male confirmation biased interpretations of animal behaviour (anthropomorphize much, rapists?) to support his love of rape and prostitution. Dumbass. Anyhow, I shut that fucker down before he could actually finish his first sentence as I saw it coming a mile away. I said, “Debunked. Non-science.” To derail me, he tried the male trick: where is your proof? I said, “Google it.” You prove it. Science, my scientific ass.
Good things always come from war
Nothing smacks of male privilege like dismissing the effects of war. History is basically the male masturbatory recounting of wars. It is also the dismissal of the female experience, the erasure of female existence. So men, when they start jizzing over how fucking awesome a battle was, or how fucking awesome the world became due to some war, they forget one tiny thing. Women are the overwhelmingly large majority of victims when there is war or civil unrest. I was reading a psychological site on PTSD in women, and they cited the statistics that during civil unrest and warlike conditions, women comprise up to 80% of the victims (general victims, not PTSD victims, specifically). Men can’t see this because they only see soldier mortality as victimhood. What they forget are the women civilians killed. And that victimhood isn’t just death. Rape is rampant during any kind of uncivilized event. Men don’t get raped. Women and girls are raped. And tortured and injured and killed. They are raped and killed by the enemies. They are raped and killed by the men on ‘their side’. Women are the largest group of victims during unrest.
As for the good things that come from war? WTF? Is the world a better place when war is concluded? Not for women. And no aftermath is worth all the loss and suffering. Any freedoms or benefits usually go to men and boys. For women, it is business as usual. The only war I can imagine resulting in something good is one where women stand up for their rights, physically fight, and win over men. Liberation for women is the only cause that makes sense for me because every current ill in society results from women’s oppression. Liberating women would help alleviate all human problems as well as environmental, animal, and food/water problems.
We then moved on to:
If we don’t do it, someone else will
Men are positively obsessed with progress and growth. This is the only way they define success. Progress and growth are seldom logical or reasonable and always come with a high cost. A cost that is paid by women and girls.
There is no such thing as creating something out of nothing. There is no such thing as ‘bottomless’ or ‘without limit’ when men seek success. The male demand for more and more is only possible if you tread on the rights and humanity of others – the least powerful. The least powerful are women, so they get less so that more is produced. So women are paid less for the same job. They work more in order to produce more. They are removed from their homes and made homeless so that buildings and structures they will never benefit from can be erected. They suffer through wars and environmental disasters and medical atrocities. Just so men can achieve ‘progress’ and ‘growth’. And I’ll add recognition and power to that list.
I suggested to DB that there are several lines that should not be crossed, whether it is in science or any endeavour. His answer? If we don’t do it, someone else will. We can’t let the other guy get there first! And I hammered him. “What a shitty, amoral excuse for evil behaviour.” This guy swears he is not a capitalist.
The world is safer than it has ever been
For men? Yes. Definitely. Not so much for women. Men don’t have a clue what safety issues are. And how much do you love it when men try to tell you that you are perfectly safe now. I mean seriously, fuck off. They have no idea what women think about, worry about, and have to do in order to get from Point A to Point B.
His measure of safety is that we have longer life spans. Yeah. That’s it. Longer life spans. What an incredibly nuanced way to look at safety. And I told him so. Did I also mention that I have worked in forensics as an analyst? I have worked with an FBI consultant on serial rape data. I have worked with police departments on workplace violent crime. I have also worked in the health field on medical errors research.
In what world does living a long life mean that you have lived free from danger? That you haven’t almost died? That you don’t suffer from fear or trauma or anxiety due to living in a crime-filled, corrupt world of danger for women?
They’re trying to criminalize johns and let prostitutes…!!!
We’d already covered the chimps, meat and sex bullshit, and the world is a safer place bullshit. So why not move into trying to shut down the male right to rape?
I jumped on this one before he even finished his sentence of outrage. There is nothing I hate more than men telling me that they have a right to stick their dicks into women, or that women ‘choose’ lives of rape and degradation over health and happiness. So I derailed him. I said, “Yes!!! Finally!!! The Swedish model is the best thing to happen in a long time. Finally, we can take away men’s right to rape and finally, we have a fighting chance in hell to reduce male violence against women, misogyny, and endless rape – all of which increase when women are jailed for prostitution and males go free in order to pay money to rape again. I launched into the cold reality that prostitution ONLY exists when men refuse to allow women the means to support themselves properly. We have prostitutes because women are poor. That’s it. Holding women severely economically disadvantaged positively ensures that women will be forced to sell their bodies and ensures that men have a constant supply of enslaved cunt to rape.
I didn’t allow any response from DB. There is no response to this issue that isn’t dripping in pro-rape, pro-poverty, male privilege and psychopathy. Did I mention that this guy is NOT a capitalist? Right. Unless it’s something he wants sold for his pleasure as a male.
But but but the Women’s Movement was successful
I mentioned that women-only social justice movements are never allowed to succeed. Only when men’s rights are at stake, do they succeed. And they do so mostly because they have women’s free labour supporting them. Women don’t receive the backing of men when it is their turn. And he came out with the ‘right to vote’ success. Most men don’t know anything about the herstory of women’s struggles. And of course, any successes that occur are assumed by men to have been the single purpose of the struggle. When women won the vote, that was not the whole point of the movement. It was actually a decades-long struggle for several legal rights, one of which was the right to vote. Following backlash from men and possibly exhaustion from that landmark achievement, the women’s movement lost some steam. They didn’t achieve most of what they had set out to do. Would I call the First Wave a success? Not entirely. It wasn’t a complete failure, but it wasn’t a roaring success in the way that all male movements have been – including that of black males in the US.
It’s time to start looking for a Chinese wife
Speaking of prostitution and male privilege… As an over-60, DB has overstayed his welcome in China. The Chinese who, in addition to being sexist and racist, are also ageist. They love Chinese old people, but the foreign people who stay for decades diligently and devotedly educating their youth? Nope. Once you hit 60, you’re tossed to the curb. There is no pathway to residency. There is no pension for foreigners. No ‘thank you’ for your service. You’re out.
Unless you are a man. Foreign males can find local pussy, convince them to marry (which is pretty easy to do), and then stay forever on the equivalent of a green card. This isn’t really an option for foreign women. First, Chinese men, like Western men, want subservient wives and baby factories. Besides, Chinese men only see us as whores. Something to fuck, but not to ‘respect’ in the form of a slave relationship (marriage). Second, most Western women who come to places like China are either already enslaved or they are the most independent women from what are independence-embracing countries. They aren’t looking for a slave-arrangement. So this dealio works well for men who have no problem owning a slave. But it is not an option for women.
The only other way to stay is if you are extremely well connected with someone in government who can ‘arrange’ an illegal visa if you have the money. This is rare. I think about all the people, including those from China, we let stay forever in Canada, despite having little or nothing to offer, and I think about devoting my education and talent to a place like China and their complete disrespect for my years of service and their abuse while I am employed with them. Mind-boggling. There is no reciprocal arrangement between our countries.
Anyhow, DB is 60 or 61 and he has been told that he will be kicked out of China next year. He is joking now that it is time to find a Chinese wife. Who knows, he might just do that.
—
There is actually a lot more here to tell, but this is long enough. My bingo card was full by the end of things. And I raged for days. Even though I put this douchebag in his place, thanks in part to the liquid courage of a couple of G&Ts, I spent the following week calming down. When it really hits you full force how much a dude you have known for a while hates women, and by definition, you yourself because you’re a woman, you rage. You rage. You rage. And just think, even your Nigels (if you have one) are the same. Maybe he has different words and tactics, but the woman-hate and privilege is in there. Waiting. Waiting for you to oppose him in some way. Deny him what he feels is his ‘right’ (but which is only a male privilege) and you’ll find out how much your sweetie ‘loves’ you. The truth is these assholes walk the planet taking what they want. They are not used to hearing ‘no’ and having to abide by it. They don’t respect ‘no’ in the way that women do. They are given more than you (more money, more respect, more space, more consideration, more understanding, more freedom, more safety) despite their inferiority simply because they have dicks. So, while I felt a victory – and it was important one, personally – it came with a price and it changes nothing about how the world works. I stopped a dick mid-swing, but unless it is cut off completely, it will live to swing another day, knocking down all women in its path.
Filed under the Conversations with Men series.
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Conversations with Men: You’re White, So Put Down Your Lunch and Give Me a Blow Job
I’m baaack. Not that it matters to online readers, since we all transcend time and place here, but I’m back in China after 3 incredibly long weeks in the US.
Get set. I’m about to drag another one screaming from the vault. While I have much to talk about that is more current or more recently on my mind or related to events during my travels, I think it was my trip back to Asia the other day via a Taiwanese airline, sitting beside a few Taiwanese folk on the long first leg of the trip, and then spending an exhausting 9-hour layover in the Taipei airport in the middle of the night, that stirred up some memories.
I lived in Taiwan for a couple of years in the early part of this century, and it was rough. As rough as living in mainland China? Jeez, that’s hard to say. China is probably worse in many ways. But Taiwan is no picnic either. I was younger, fresher, less apocalyptic than I am now. I still had so much to learn then. And learn I did. Taiwan was full of hard lessons that have helped shape me, helped turn me into the tough, middle-aged, jaded, hard-to-disappoint-further, been-there-done-that woman that I am today.
Before I get into the story, I want to talk a little about this thing called ‘white privilege’. First, I’ll just say that ‘white privilege’ is a thing, but I want to talk specifically about what it means and where it applies. You see, even though it is a real thing – for men – it is also a buzzword used by Western people to shut other people (mostly women, mostly white women) up. Westerners forget that they usually cannot apply Western socio-political models to non-Western countries. We are taught that in all cases and in all places, whites rule. But on the ground, in individual countries, it is easy to see that that isn’t actually true. Racism isn’t a black and white issue like misogyny is. The ‘white privilege’ trope is Western liberal-speak / non-think, and typically it is people who have never lived – and I mean, really lived – in a non-white-ruled country who scream the loudest about this non-existent, international white privilege, and also who point the finger at white women to shoulder all of the blame for what white men have done throughout history.
So, I’ll tell you how this works based on my experience living and working for about 8 years among the ‘real people’ (not staying in 5-star hotels working for international corporations and making 6, 7, or 8 figures a year) in countries with non-white rule. There is no such thing as ‘white privilege’ in a country where there are no white nationals and no whites in political office or policy shops. There are countries where white men came in and wreaked havoc on local populations (especially the women), ruled for a while, and then left. While there, they would have had white privilege, and now that they don’t rule, they don’t. The race that rules has to have political, legal, and economic power in that country. They don’t have to have to be the demographic majority, they just have to have the political, legal, and economic power. And extremely important, racial privilege is predominantly a male thing. Nowhere do women have political, legal or economic power to rival men. The only time a woman can have any claim to racial privilege is among women, and even then, the power isn’t that great. Women just don’t have much power. Period. And race does not win over sex. A woman of the ruling race does not have power or advantage over a man of the non-ruling race. That is true everywhere in the world. We see that with the recent horrors in Germany. Muslim men have relentlessly attacked white women in a country where there is ‘white privilege’, but the crimes are being hushed up. It’s as if they didn’t happen. The women have been blamed and controlled and continue to suffer and are terrified. The non-white men have been coddled and are allowed to stay and continue what they’re doing. People feel sorry for them. Penis trumps vagina, regardless of race. Always. Always. Always.
In Taiwan, there is Asian privilege, and it applies to the Taiwanese males of the country (except in groups of women, where Taiwanese women will have Asian privilege over non-Asian, non-Taiwanese women). White men may be given some respect or consideration because they are men and because their success and riches are envied by the world. White women are not respected, however. They will get attention, but it is not the enviable kind. The attention a white woman is given is based solely on what women everywhere in the world get attention for: their physical attributes – specifically, their fuckability– which is decidedly not power. ‘Sexual power’ – a term invented by men and lib-fems to mean attention from and ability to distract men due to being highly fuckable – is not power.
And so with that out of the way, I bring you another tale from the Conversations with Men series and White Girl series. Enjoy, enjoy!
~~~
Rewind to 2004: I had spent my first 14 months in Taiwan as a workaholic living in the small, over-crowded, and very polluted city of Taipei. I had worked 6-7 days a week. I had a primary job that secured me my work visa, and a whole bunch of little jobs on the side in publishing, editing, writing and teaching. Part-way through 2004, I decided to cut back on the work and started studying Mandarin formally and regularly. There were aspects of this life that I liked, but there was a lot that was unacceptable and that I wouldn’t put up with nowadays. Even with the work-focus change, and with the increase in free time that went with it, life didn’t improve that much, and that was 100% due to the racism-misogyny, white whore special that I was experiencing, but not quite seeing for what it was.
I had been living near Liberty Square (not the name when I lived there), which is a fabulous little park with winding paths surrounding three major monuments/buildings, including the National Theatre and the National Concert Hall. It’s a great place at any time of day for exercise, meeting up with friends, or quiet contemplation.
Or at least I thought it was until one day at noon.
With my greater free time in my second year there, I sometimes went to this park to find a quiet bench on which to eat my lunch and read. I was in the middle of doing just that when a man came up to me. He approached slowly with his wallet out. Without any attempt at verbal communication, he began indicating through body language that he wanted me to suck his dick, and that he would pay me for it. I noticed a male friend of his waiting in the distance to see what would happen. Was he offering me money for the both of them? Just him? I had no idea. I told him to get lost and used a hand motion to indicate I was sweeping him away from me. He persisted. Insisted. Took the (pitifully low amount of) money out of his wallet and started shaking it in my face. Pointed at his groin. Pointed aggressively at my mouth. Friend in the distance, laughing and looking eager, nervous, antsy. I couldn’t get rid of him. For some reason, he had decided that I, with short hair and no make-up, in my trousers and short-sleeved, men’s buttoned shirt and sensible shoes, sitting on a bench eating my lunch, with a book in one hand, was obviously on prostitution duty. I will tell you this. There could have been no mistaking me for a prostitute. It was simply this:
I was a white woman.
He was male and the dominant race.
I existed as a whore to service his cock, just like all white women in the world.
I knew I was in danger. Even though I was not yet clued into the idea that I was experiencing misogyny and racism on a daily basis, instead of just ‘bad luck’, I did know that I was in serious danger. I quickly left the bench, lunch and book in hand and ran. I ran like hell. Despite it being broad daylight with lots of people around, I wasn’t safe. And strangely, almost all of the ‘Asian man assaults’ I have experienced have been in broad daylight with people around and not giving a shit. Sometimes watching me be assaulted. Apathetically. White whore. Look at what they do in our country. They make trouble.
Needless to say, the park was ruined for me. Lunch never happened there again.
I’ve been talking to folks recently about the Burning Times and the whole thing about dicks in a box. And as I was writing this post, I thought wryly, when a woman orders a boxed lunch*, she definitely doesn’t want dick on the menu… Not related, but the mind does what it does.
*aka ‘packed lunch’ or ‘brown bag lunch’
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Conversations with Men: The Rape Holiday
It’s not that I’m shocked when I hear about the horrific things men do to women and girls every minute of every day in every corner of the world. Nothing anyone could tell me would surprise me in the least. It can be disturbing and traumatizing, of course, to read or hear about men’s depravity. But hearing about is different than witnessing, however. When you actually witness stuff, as a woman, that is when you are stunned – sometimes momentarily, sometimes negatively affected for long periods of time. It is only if you find yourself immune or indifferent to the stuff you see, or that you rationalize it away to protect the poor, persecuted, precious penises in your life, that you know you’ve lost too much of your humanity, and accepted your place as a slave.
When you make the mistake of assuming the best of strange men you encounter, that is when you end up with reminders that you are being naive. It is always best to err on the side of caution – all men are potential rapists. All men benefit from rape culture. Most men jerk off to rape (porn isn’t sex, it’s rape), and actively seek out depictions of rape. And all men are rape apologists. If they accept that rape exists, they see it as one of two things: 1) a very, very narrowly defined thing and anything that falls outside their very, very limited, accepted ideas can be waved away as lies! or just the way things are, sweetie, what’s your problem? or you’re paranoid/too sensitive/a manhater; or 2) a very, very broadly defined thing that ends up taking needed focus off of the crime of rape committed by men against women and putting the focus onto men as the main or most important or equally affected victims. Broad definitions of important words are men’s new tactic to erase women’s realities and put themselves in the spotlight, where they feel they belong.
Bottom line: rape is a crime perpetrated by men against women and girls. It comes out of male entitlement. It is done by more men than the world wants to admit. And all men benefit from it whether they directly rape or not.
~~~
Rewind to 2003: I was in the middle of a two-week trip by myself to Cambodia. I was working in Taiwan at the time. All of my Western male colleagues a) told me to be careful in Phnom Penh (which I ignored – I had a great time with locals there), and b) regaled me nostalgically with stories about their rape vacations – on which they strangely didn’t bring their Taiwanese girlfriends. It was gross. These entitled white fuckers thought it was the best deal ever to pay a couple of dollars to rape enslaved, impoverished teenaged girls. Many of these girls were victims of the Khmer Rouge regime and many young girls, having lost their entire families to rape, torture and death, had nowhere to go but into prostitution. Young boys were often taken in by monks and raised in monasteries. I met a few of the latter while visiting. They were quite well off and educated given the recent history of the country and their personal situations, and had a lot of freedom to pursue ambitions. The girls? Not so much.
For a few days, I travelled with an Australian postal worker who was in the middle of admitting to himself that he was gay. So we were talking about that a lot. And while in Sihanoukville, we went out for coming-out talk over a simple dinner at a very small local eatery with a few outdoor tables along the dirt road. I noticed a good-looking white dude sitting silently near, but not with, some local people running the shop beside us. It was kind of a strange scene. He wasn’t eating. Wasn’t drinking. Wasn’t reading or talking to anyone. Just waiting. I caught his eye at one point, by accident. Couldn’t tell anything from that. There was no expression on his face. Nothing in his eyes. Just a bland, but good-looking, dude.
And then a motorcycle pulled up. A local man driving, of course. And off the back of the bike hopped a small, pretty, young girl – 15 at the most. Huge white dude stood up, wandered over for some brief negotiation. I sized it up immediately and stared at him in disgust. He did his best to ignore my gaze. Then the girl and the human stain wandered off a little ways out of sight.
The dude came back alone not long after. Could he have raped her that quickly? Well, duh, of course. Men only need about 30 seconds to get the job done in my experience. It could have just been a mouth rape. In my experience, that doesn’t take long either. And less fuss. And I figured, since he knew he was under scrutiny, he couldn’t take the time to punish her or torture her for that long as many men like to do to what they see as cheap, filthy whores. Had it been more private, he could have beaten her and raped her over a longer period of time, multiple times. Maybe killed her, if he wished. Cambodia is a very, very poor country, and white dudes, for the right price can buy whatever they want. What’s the life of an uneducated, girl child to a rich, white guy likely to go back to his girlfriend or wife in Japan or China or Australia or wherever?
The guy didn’t look my way when he got back. Probably went off to get a beer and a smoke and to relive the rape. Or possibly just to head to bed to forget the child he just abused.
Me? I had lost my appetite, and I felt both dead inside and that I wanted to gut the rapist who was sauntering back to the town. End his rape career. That’s the least he deserved, in my opinion. But I said nothing. And I didn’t say anything to the male person who had had his back to the scene the entire time. It was my private window (albeit partially curtained to the worst of the interaction) into the world of male rape holidays and the complete lack of shame and disgusting privilege that comes with having a penis.
~~
Note: In another post from this trip, I relate a conversation with a local Cambodian – a bottom of the totem pole dude (but much higher than all women) who felt just as entitled as this white guy with regard to buying female flesh – and what his thoughts of me were…
Note 2: White dudes are not alone in rape tourism, even though it is seen as a ‘Western thing’. It’s not a ‘white thing’ and it’s not a ‘Western thing’. It’s a ‘man thing’ and not limited to cocks of specific colours. Plenty of men from all over the world travel to rape. However. White dudes would do well, as the primary economic power, to stop this kind of travel and provide an example to the world. But they won’t. They’re too busy blaming white women for not doing enough to end the suffering of women of colour. Oh and white men are also too busy raping/jerking off madly to rape, of course. And they also like to mansplain that being raped for money is an empowering choice for women – if only they could do it tooooo. Yeah, right. Useless human garbage.
Note 3: I am absolutely not going to use the euphemism ‘sex tourism’, because using a prostitute isn’t sex. It’s rape. Calling it sex tourism takes away men’s responsibility for what they have freely chosen to do, and takes focus away from what girls and women have not freely chosen to do. Prostitution is very, very, very seldom a free choice (if you use the actual definition of free choice and not the liberal feminism definition).
Lab Work: A New Job Choice for Men
I get annoyed – although that is not quite the right word – when I hear men and their fembots talk about how prostitution and other rape-oriented work is really a fantastic work option for women. They rename it ‘sex work’ to take away the rapey, violent aspect of it and to diminish this kind of slavery so that it is on par with flipping burgers.
I get further annoyed listening to men say they are ‘jealous’ about women’s options. How they wish they could rake in the cash by doing what women are lucky enough to be able to do with their natural attributes and talents. How prostitution is ‘easy money’. How using prostitutes and strippers and watching porn is ‘contributing to the economy’.
It’s fucking gross. And ignorant. And it’s horrible to hear women parrot what these men say.
Given that it doesn’t look like we are going to change that culture and belief system any time soon using rationality and appeals to morality and human rights – like men give a shit about that, right? – I propose a more effective method.
Men generally only understand problems when they affect them. Self-centred creatures, you have to hit men where it hurts. Raping women doesn’t hurt them, but maybe experiencing something analogous would. Maybe…
Anyhow, here is my proposal.
I think we should open up a new job category that is only open to men. It’s called ‘lab work’. Here’s how it works. I am against animal testing, and I think all beings should be able to choose the type of work they do. Currently, animals don’t have that right. So I will free them. Instead, men will be able to choose to have chemicals and drugs tested on them in exchange for money. In fact, teen-aged boys can choose to do it too.
There is potential for ‘big money’ – or at least, that’s the rumour/promise. It will be a good choosey-choice for men who would otherwise suck from the government cock (aka ‘welfare kings’), or be homeless, or have to resort to finding a sugar mommy. It can help young men pay for their college education. And some bored men – from househusbands to professors – can even choose to do it as a sideline and then act as poster boys for the ‘happy lab rat’ when people try to critique this important, empowering job choice.
They will be provided with comfortable cages in view of other men. Drugs will be available to make the work even more palatable. We can even groom boys from a young age to see this type of work as a good career option.
Why is this work so important? Well, you see, women have a god/nature-given right to safe cosmetics, hair products, household cleaners, and properly tested medications. We can’t provide that safety guarantee unless we test them. Men provide the best test subjects – men tell us all the time that they are better than women at everything, so naturally, they are totally and naturally made for this job. And it is a good match anyways – everyone wins. Women have their rights satisfied and men make a good living! Women will contribute to the economy and help men stay employed and feel empowered. Besides, if men don’t provide this needed service, women will likely start illegally testing the chemicals they need on the men in their lives. And we all know that that isn’t good for society. We need to protect the virtuous men. And the others, the unspeakables, are better suited for lab work, anyway. All in all, we reduce random violence against family men by legalizing lab work.
Agency, empowerment, choice, free will, economic stability, men’s rights. That is what this job is all about.
Oh, and by the way, if you think you have any right to criticize this proposal, think again. I will shout you down as a gynophobe, a misogynist, a communist, and worst of all… a LWEMRA (Lab Work Exclusionary Men’s Rights Activist). And I’ll probably just throw in racist, homophobe, Islamophobe, and a few other terms I’ll make up along the way, just to get you to shut the hell up and let men choose their choices with agency and dignity!
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I’ll add these as I see them – cases that support the implementation of this kind of work. It is especially relevant when MEN create dangerous products for WOMEN. They should absolutely be tested on men first so that their safety can be vouched for.
If You’re Blind, You Can’t See
Statements of the obvious. Who doesn’t love those? And yet, in our world, the blind lead. The one-eyed are not queens, and the fully-functioning two-eyed are trampled and enslaved and silenced and over-worked.
We worship our blind leaders. The men.
Confused, yet confident at the same time, men design solutions to problems they can’t truly see. We’re lucky if they acknowledge a problem at all. Often glaring problems are spun in a way as to seem natural or inevitable or something that will be worked out in the end or, my favourite – a necessary evil.
Example: Overpopulation
Let’s look at overpopulation. Women are blamed for this time and again. And the finger pointing comes from men. “They should stop getting pregnant.” “They should take birth control.” “They should stop having babies.” “They should get abortions.” There may be comments blaming women for their poverty. “Poor, uneducated women have too many babies.”
No where in the world are women in control of their bodies. In most places, marriage is mandatory. In all places in the world, women must provide sex to men, free or paid. There is no choice to refrain from hetero-sex without serious consequences. Men have designated penis-centred sex as MANDATORY. Most women don’t have access to birth control or abortion or safe spaces free from male pestering and abuse. Men have no interest in inconveniencing themselves with condoms, vasectomies, or masturbation-instead-of-sex. Women and girls get pregnant. Babies are born. The fault lies with men and the the penis-sex they force upon women. Stop mandatory fucking and give women education and opportunities (i.e., reduce dependence on men) and you will lower birth rates (and rape, and STIs, and female death, and female poverty, and and and).
But men won’t acknowledge that they are the source of the problem, so they point the finger at women, and it is, as usual, up to women to shoulder the blame and clean up. But it can’t be cleaned up until we get to the true source.
Example: Prostitution
Ah, the world’s oldest profession. WRONG. The world’s oldest form of slavery. Prostitution is not a profession. Like marriage, it is a direct manifestation of male dominance and female submission and slavery. Prostitution is not a choice, it is a last resort, an act of desperation, or enforced slavery (for many). For a few, it might be a misguided attempt at sexual liberation (as defined by men, of course).
Men may acknowledge it is a problem, but a women’s problem, in that either a) women are spreading diseases, b) contributing to the moral decay of society, or c) aren’t accessible ENOUGH for their liking. However, most men don’t really see prostitution as a serious problem. It doesn’t affect their daily lives, and for many, satisfies a ‘need’ they feel they are entitled to. They may even rationalize that prostitutes save ‘real women’ from the bulk of men’s demands and violence. They are a necessary evil.
But women are not the problem. The fact that prostitution exists at all is the problem and a symptom of vast inequality between men and women. The fact that men believe they are entitled to unfettered access to women’s bodies is the problem. The fact that men dictate women’s available economic options is the problem. The fact that this so-called job affects the status and safety of ALL women, including first and foremost, the prostituted, is the problem.
Women have shouldered the blame and do the bulk of the clean-up. Unfortunately, there is a growing movement of anti-feminist / pro-penis / pro-abuse women seeking to make sure prostitution is here to stay. And it will stay unless we get to the root of the problem: male dominance and entitlement.
Example: Poverty
Systems of currency are based on hierarchy. Hierarchy is a male invention. Capitalism, the ultimate currency-based system of hierarchy tells us that some of us have more value than others and deserve more than others. It also tells us that those of us who cannot survive under this system deserve what we get. Failure to survive is explained away by the men on top (and even men lower down on the hierarchy) as the simple result of ‘natural’ competition rather than bias, disadvantage and just plain unfairness due to misogyny, racism, etc.
Since before the invention of currency, women have been forced into a dependent role by men. The development of currency hurt women even more deeply and reinforced sexual servitude. Not permitted to work for currency, women were forced to assume roles as slaves to men. Women’s labour, even to this day, is primarily unpaid or underpaid. Prohibited from competing on a fair playing field, women have always been vulnerable – their fates tied to male whim and male mortality. Disobedience towards a man, being discarded by a man, or left alone following the death of a father or husband, have left women on the streets destitute and unskilled and in danger from the rest of male society, with very few options for survival.
And so we have poverty.
Men choose to blame the problem of women’s poverty on the women themselves. Women are lazy, vain, focused on their looks, stupid, unable to compete, baby machines, weak, etc. You name it, men have used it as the reason why so many women live in poverty, why women should be kept out of paying jobs, and why poverty exists at all. They’ll never see themselves at the root of the problem.
Male dominance, enforced female dependence, and reliance upon an unfair currency system that over-rewards penised-people for doing unremarkable things are the problems. But until we can name the root of the problem correctly, poverty will continue. Women will shoulder the blame, and will form the bulk of the unpaid/low-paid clean-up crew. Men, meanwhile, will pontificate, design ineffective solutions or ignore the problem altogether.
The Bottom Line
The ‘problem solvers’ who tend to get attention and funding and political support are almost always male. Women are only included when there is blame to be doled out or grunt work to be done on implementing solutions. Women are scapegoats and free labour clean-up crews. Always.
When you don’t approach a socio-econo-enviro-political problem from a feminist perspective, you will never be able to get to the heart of the matter and solve it. Enough with the blind kings, already.
Story Ending Never 
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