Category Archives: Male Privilege
Q is for Quote
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Confucius. Einstein. Gandhi. Descartes. Socrates. Churchill. King. Wilde. Mandela. If it’s got a penis, the assumption is that it has some sort of insight or wisdom that no one else has ever demonstrated and that we should write down and attribute and even use as a measure of our own insight. Most of these select and immortalized words are attributed to males, but I also find that males are much more likely than females to throw what I have come to call ‘scrote quotes’ into prepared speeches and writings, but even into random conversations, as well. I started paying attention to this back when I was an undergraduate student and I would attend meetings for the lab I worked in. Some of the male students loved talking and dropping little nuggets of so-called wisdom that wasn’t their own – either quotes or factoids about sciencey stuff – and I began to suspect that they were making shit up in order to score points with the rest of us. And over the years, as a student, as a work team member, as a teacher, and as part of various social groups, I saw a common theme that went something like this:
- Males talk too much and too loudly,
- Males are pathological interrupters, especially if the person speaking is female,
- Males are more likely to attack what other people say, especially if the speaker is female, and
- Males put more stock in what other males say even if it is clearly bullshit, and like to scrote quote.
We all understand well the male belief in their own deservedness for simply being male, regardless of race, and their over-confidence, in general. This helps to explain their disproportionate oral presence in groups. They don’t really understand the concept of not having a voice. But why the devotion to other males? Why do they like to build up other males and even to quote them? Or maybe the question should be is scrote quoting just knee-jerk devotion to the brotherhood or a more calculated attempt to look intelligent or sensitive or insightful or humanitarian? Perhaps it is both as males seldom quote women or reference women’s contributions to the intellectual community, even if the women are acknowledged experts or intellectuals.
Regardless of the intention, male speech in general and the quoting and pseudo-intellectual posing of some males in particular elicits eye-rolls in me, and if I were the kind of person who could pull off a smug sort of snort, I’d probably do that too. Needless to say, as I’ve become more separatist in my lifestyle, I’ve avoided mixed-sex discussion groups, and I’ve almost completely stopped reading books by male authors. I did read a fairly well-done non-fiction book by a male on the history of salt a few years ago, but male fiction is pointless to consume, and I don’t feel I’m missing anything by putting to stop to men’s thoughts entering my world. That might bring gasps of horror from a lot of people. But would it shock the same people to know that my first 18 years were almost completely devoid of female-authored writing other than the requisite Judy Blume novels and the Nancy Drew, girl detective series?
But back to quotes. Do women really say nothing worth remembering and recounting? And do what men apparently say actually mean anything? I’ll dive in a bit with some examples, but before I do that, let me just say that I consider famous quotes to be a bit like modern art – and I’m saying this as someone who appreciates skills and talent and hard work and who doesn’t put this genre of art into any of those categories. It is a bit of a cliché to say, upon viewing a modern art installation: “What’s so great about this? I could do it. Hell, my 5-year old neighbour could do this.” But it is true. There is no skill in painting a canvas completely black or placing a bunch of laundry soap boxes in a random pile. Anyone could do it. But one person did it and became famous, and among a certain community of people, the installation is ‘genius’ because of the person who did it and the context it was done in, and perhaps the political or social climate at the time. In a similar fashion, most quotes are said hundreds, thousands, and even millions of times by people around the world at different times, but it became famous and attached to one person because of who the person was, and the context it was done in, and perhaps the political or social climate at the time. Women are just as likely to have said something supposedly noteworthy as a male, yet most of the time, it is male voices that are heard and acknowledged. And of course, males are notorious thieves of everything women create. We know this. But words. Can we ‘own’ words? In a male world, indeed. Everything can be owned and attributed.
What purpose do quotes serve? Lots of reasons, apparently. They supposedly preserve intellectual observations. They give a false sense of validity and non-fiction to religious teachings. They warn us to follow rules. They inspire and motivate. They serve as humour, but in a way that diffuses anger and deeper thinking about serious truths. For me, sometimes I read or hear a quote and it just doesn’t have the impact that it seems to have for so many. I’ll provide a few examples of scrote quotes that fall flat for me, before I get into lady-quotes.
Who doesn’t love Einstein, the world’s favourite quotable male intellectual? But I just think his words are nonsense at worst, and obvious, at best. For example:
“Learning is experience. Everything else is just information.” and
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”
I just don’t understand why these inspire people. So many seem to hear them and say “whoa, that’s so true” to themselves. But many intellectual and inspirational quotes aren’t that deep or analytical and end up just stating the obvious.
I find religious quotes to be hilarious. The ones taken directly from religious texts and presented as words spoken by real people or people who are conduits for a supernatural being are ridiculous. It would be like me quoting a character from Harry Potter and pretending it means something profound, like: “It was the wand-maker, Ollivander who said in the Philosopher’s Stone: ‘Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard.'” and then looking at my audience in a knowing way and trying to make a profound statement about destiny. There are also quotes from the so-called shepherds who seek to rally the flock. MLK is a great source of inspirational nonsense. For example:
“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
Yikes. Sounds deep, but it is just a clever way to justify non-thinking. In reality, he is describing living. Faith is more like falling asleep and dreaming you’re climbing a staircase to what passes for heaven in your religion.
And a good scrote quote that masks a problem in cheap humour comes from Jim Carrey.
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
The original quote is something like “Behind every great man is a strong woman”, which of course is supposed to acknowledge the unsung heroines in a man’s life – wives and mothers – and serves as a verbal Valentine’s Day. But Carrey’s quote and the many other humourous spin-offs out there are effective, not in attacking misogyny, but to make us laugh ourselves back into complacency. Carrey will likely be called ‘feminist’, but he is still part of the problem. Women can laugh at the truth, but they’ll keep on supporting their men, putting up with the nonsense, yet still reaping the benefits of heterosexuality.
Speaking of fake-feminism, let’s get into lady-quotes. There is a new genre of quotes called ‘feminist quotes’, which consists mostly of heterosexual women saying obvious and fluffy things about girl power or problems with men that they are complaining about, but are still willing to put up with in exchange for a better economic outlook and social standing. Almost zero percent of these feminist quotes are actually feminist. Woman speaking does not equal feminist. These women’s words are remembered and quoted because their words have little substance or may have substance, but the speaker doesn’t walk the talk in their lives. They aren’t threats to men, in other words. We don’t pay attention to women who actually say something important. That is key to remember. Here are a few examples.
Michelle Obama is a good source of inspirational, ‘feminist’ fluff. The perfect politician’s wifey.
“There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish.”
There is no substance to these words and only inspire a ‘duh’ response in me, followed by: “But we have heterosexuality, misogyny and male violence that impose artificial limits and then convince girls and women that those limits are real and natural.” But she wouldn’t be allowed to say that, would she?
And then we get some good old lib-fem nonsense from icons like Madonna:
“I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”
As you may have noted in my last post, I’m not big on reclaiming slurs. I don’t find this quote inspirational, although I suppose I can appreciate the message that we shouldn’t give a shit what people think about us as females. But given how Madonna has marketed herself, she is 100% a conformist and thus does care about her audience thinks of her. There is a mismatch.
And then we get to actual feminist quotes. In my opinion, one of the most quotable feminists that has ever existed is Andrea Dworkin. I think I’ve read most of what she has written and have listened to recordings of her speaking publicly. This is a woman who saw truths and related them to us and she was hated by many for it. She is not the only quote-worthy feminist, and I include a slide-show of quotes in the side bar of my blog. But here I’ll include a few Dworkin quotes that mean something to me.
“Any violation of a woman’s body can become sex for men; this is the essential truth of pornography.” and
“Men often react to women’s words—speaking and writing—as if they were acts of violence; sometimes men react to women’s words with violence.“
Really, there are so many uncomfortable truths, truths I’d never heard anyone speak before I read Dworkin. And what she said during her time could be applied 500 years ago and it can still be applied today. Does this not exceed the current standard for most of what passes for famous quotes?
Conclusion
For me, the measure of a good quote is this: does it speak a truth that is not immediately apparent and that makes you think about things that might be uncomfortable or difficult? Further, is it something that is not commonly said by many across time and place? There is a place for motivational slogans and addages, but to attribute these to a single source, especially to a male who is not as remarkable as he and his followers think he is, is not quite right. Let’s not lump unique quotations in with the ‘right time, right place, right sex’ phenomenon known as modern art. Words have to mean something and quotes have to touch something deeper.
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Rapetainment
This post is part of the ongoing Birth of a Feminist series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
As children, we all grow up thinking that what happens in our families and/or households is normal and that everyone pretty much has the same kinds of family relationships and rituals that we do. Over time, exposure to other children, especially when visiting their homes, teaches us that no two families are the same, and even the most mundane of activities may be done a little differently in other households. Your family, for example, might have dinner around 5:30 every night while your friend’s family might eat around 7:00 pm. Or you might have a lot of chores, but another friend might not have any. There are a million variations on how families operate, and it is a function of parental values and experience, and the personalities and dynamics within the family. But despite all the little differences, the average family is more similar than different.
But then, there are families that operate a little differently. Families where the practices and relationships can be downright weird, unethical and even abusive. Now, I think that all families are harmful to girl children – family is not a natural or healthy grouping, but a patriarchal construct designed to give men power through ownership. Patriarchy, by definition is about male domination and female slavery, so all institutions and systems designed by men are harmful to girls, a risky endeavour for adult women if they choose to support and engage with them, and almost universally beneficial to males. But there are degrees of harm to girls in the patriarchal system known as ‘family’. There are families whose practices and relationships are much more abusive and harmful to the female children than those of the average family. But the girl children in those households still grow up thinking that what they are living is normal. Some of these girls may, at some point, come to realize that what they are experiencing is not normal and definitely not healthy, but it can take years for this to happen. Given the nature of some of these family practices and relationships, many of these girls may not actually come to their realization through discussion with others, but completely alone through observation and analysis. After all, what they are living is usually either taboo or extremely embarrassing to even broach with others, and discussion can get them socially tainted, blamed, and even further victimized by their family or patriarchal society.
My own family was a weird one, but I didn’t really understand the extent of the harm they did until I was much older. I was stuck in a household with two strange and damaged parents: an ever-present, NPD housewife-mother who had two modes – antagonistic or stand-by, like a computer in sleep mode waiting for a button to be pressed; and an enabler, narcissistic, psychologist father who was seldom around due to workaholism, but who I later came to realize, probably did more damage in the bursts of time spent around me than my mother did. I’ve written before that women tend to inflict tons of shallow cuts on fellow females, but men inflict stab wounds or else fly in, drop bombs and then leave. For some reason, we tend to pay attention to what other women do to us while conveniently forgiving and forgetting male atrocities enacted on our bodies and psyches. I believe we are well trained from birth to do this. Anyhow, I did eventually come to see my father for what he was – a horrible, entitled, sex-crazed, liberal misogynist. But it took my parents’ divorce and leaving home and developing my own goals separate from wanting to please my hero-worshipped father in order to accomplish this.
There were many forms of harm in my family, but I wanted to get into one daddy dearest was responsible for and that didn’t start to make me question things until I was 19 years old.
My father liked movies. I still remember the first time my family rented a VCR machine in the early 1980’s, invited some family friends over, and watched Star Wars. Not long later, my dad bought a VCR for the family, and began bringing home rented movies for the family to watch together. We were never asked what we wanted to watch. It always seemed to be ‘Dad’s choice’, and that never seemed to consist of anything considered to be kids’ content. And so began my exposure to explicit violence on television (and films). I have a specific pre-adolescent memory burnt into my brain of a scene from one of Dad’s films consisting of a violent beating and rape of a young woman. I also remember standing up shortly after that and going to my bedroom. I can’t remember what happened after that, but I know that I was not spoken to about what I had seen. I am not sure what had gone through my mind other than discomfort. And there were other experiences like this. Other violent films, some weird films. Dad also had taken a lot of pleasure in choosing films randomly – and that is actually something that I have done all my life as well, although I make sure to avoid films advertising explicit violence against women.
I also have a distinct memory of going to the movie theatre with a friend of mine when I was about 14, and for reasons I can’t for the life of me remember, we decided to sneak into another film. I am not sure how we chose the film, but we ended up in Casualties of War, an R-rated film with multiple very graphic and violent scenes of a squad of American soldiers raping and torturing a young Vietnamese girl. It was terrifying, but neither my friend nor I could move – I think we were afraid we would get caught where we weren’t allowed to be. I still remember that horrible film so many years later. It is hailed as a ‘masterpiece’ by men, and they refer to what the soldiers did as a ‘moral quagmire’. Yes, men often say that rape during war is an inevitable moral conundrum. What to do, what to do? But it sure makes for super fantastic cinematography, don’t you think? My 14-year-old self did not think so.
It wasn’t until I was 19 that all of this violent film-watching at home and in public caught up to me and led to a significant realization, and it was likely due to my age coupled with other trauma going on in my life at the time. The previous year, my best friend had gone missing while walking home and then had been found dead a few weeks later, the circumstances surrounding it never released by the police and are still a mystery to me today. In the very same horrible month, my parents decided to announce a surprise divorce leading to my mother’s increased insanity and the longest and most convoluted divorce court case my father’s lawyer had ever profited from. As well, at the time, there had been some high profile abduction, rape, torture and murder cases of teenaged girls in a community near where I lived – this ended up being the famous case of the Canadian serial killers Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka. Needless to say, I was beginning to be very sensitive to violence at the time.
Following my parents’ divorce, my siblings and I would visit with my father on Sundays, stay for dinner, and sometimes watch a film – like old times. I remember one particular night, it was just my father, brother and me, and Dad put on some video. And it wasn’t long before I was presented with a scene of a woman at night in her home preparing for bed. A man was watching her from outside the house and then decided to break in, and start beating the shit out of her and raping her. I started crying. It hit me that most to all television and film entertainment was not for women and girls. It was for men. It is rapetainment. We women and girls sit there watching representations of ourselves being dehumanized, violated and destroyed on a continuous basis and we are expected to accept it and laugh along. How is this entertainment??? For women and girls, that is? I can understand that men might like it and get turned on by it or feel powerful because of it or possibly feel nothing at all. If I decided to write a television or book series centred on the terrorism, torture, mutilation and killing of men and boys, I guarantee you I’d be censored, or I wouldn’t sell anything, movie studios might reject me, and likely a horde of women would descend on me and call me every name in the book. I’d be a ‘misandrist’. And to question the escalating misogyny, slurs and violence against women in entertainment is met with derision, gaslighting, ad feminem attacks and excuses of “it’s art”, “it’s free speech”, “it’s just fantasy”, and “don’t be so sensitive, sweetie.” Would this argument work if the tables were turned???
Anyhow, back to my 19-year-old self. The accumulation of years of vulnerability and experience and fear and confusion resulted in my tears, and finally my father noticed. He stopped the film, whisked me upstairs and left me in the bedroom. Then he went back downstairs to rejoin my 15-year-old brother and to enjoy the rest of the rape movie. It was never talked about again. I felt alone and raw and so utterly hurt and disappointed and confused and angry. Remember that my father was a psychologist. He had trained as a child psychologist, but then went on to specialize in sex therapy. I almost want to say, “Ha, classic!” But that isn’t quite the right way to put it. It is so much worse than that.
There is a profound sense of hurt and betrayal that you feel when you realize a parent has harmed you in a deeply disrespectful way. It is natural for children, as they grow up, to begin to see their parents as regular humans with all the weaknesses and vulnerabilities that all humans have, but it is another thing altogether to realize a parent doesn’t respect you or see you as human worthy of consideration or care. This is even more significant if you are female child as we are all in a process of realizing that we aren’t respected as full humans by society at large. To have it come from your parents as well hits you really hard. I think this was the beginning of a long end for me with regard to my father. I began to see him as a misogynist, and there were countless examples after that to support my suspicions. And I became more vocal over time. He definitely didn’t like me pushing back against what he believed was his right to enjoy women’s degradation and subordination in entertainment form. But still it was confusing. He did respect my superiority to him in math and science, and he was the only one to tell me that it was perfectly fine for a woman NOT to have children. But where so many women would see this as a sign of a ‘great man’ or a ‘good dad’, his harm to me outweighs anything good he said or did. I think any person can have something in common with the worst people on earth, but it doesn’t mean you have to see them as good people or that they have redeeming qualities. Honestly, I don’t know how one can have a daughter and still find rape and violence against women to be entertaining. I just can’t get past this, but I will say that when women say “every child needs a father”, I couldn’t disagree more. Men know what men are, but they have no ability to feel empathy for women and girls. And empathy is the bare minimum you need in order to be a parent.
A last note on rapetainment.
Without getting into what will be a separate post on entertainment as patriarchal propaganda, I’ll just say here that even children’s media is designed to instill a docility and acceptance in females where it concerns how girls and women are seen and treated in the world. As a child moves into the consumption of adult material, the level of graphic and linguistic hostility and outright violence towards female people escalates – and with absolutely no added value, I might add – and thanks to what we consumed as children, we are well prepared to view it as entertainment, sitting happily with the males in our lives and pretending that the material is designed with us as a co-audience alongside men. In fact, the material is designed for males primarily as entertainment and ego-boosting, and then secondarily for females both as a threat, instilling justified fear, and as a confusing reminder that we are supposed to want and need males to protect us from their fellow males. The violence and slurs are normalized through repetition, and entertainment can be seen as a form of education as it works in the same way, burning it into your brain so that it becomes part of how you think and act. As a result, most females, by the time they reach adulthood, don’t even notice what is going on. They sit there with family members, husbands and boyfriends, laughing along to the rape and dead hooker jokes, feeling afraid and then safe when the alpha male slips an arm around them to let them know that they’ll protect them in exchange for docility and other services. And then women go back to their lives where they can pretend that this so-called art that they’ve consumed isn’t actually a reflection of what goes on in the world or that it has larger implications for and effects on women’s lived realities.
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P is for Purpose
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
I can’t change my mold, no, no, no, no
It’s just sex and violence, melody and silence
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been downfrom The Verve – Bittersweet Symphony – men tell us about themselves, what they think and do, all the time. On some level, all males know that their most basic purpose is to sexually control, torture, and gradually kill females. They can’t and won’t change, and they will force you to travel their path with them. And in that way, they define your purpose too.
Just a note before I start, in the YouTube recording of this post, I’m using a clip from London Grammar’s version of this song, mostly because of Hannah Reid’s excellent contralto voice. You’ll notice that she leaves out the repeating line “It’s just sex and violence” from the song that the dude-bros of The Verve originally wrote. I’d like to assume that Reid was choosing to sing from a female’s point of view, meaning that sex and violence are not part of our natural purpose. But of course, it may not be that at all. She may be part of the ‘Not All Men’ and “Women are Violent Toooooo” movement championed by liberal men and women. Or she may just be like the majority of women in the world, with her head in the sand, pretending that sex and violence are NOT the fabric of our lives and that life is super great with a few rapey hiccups along the way. Regardless, Reid’s voice is enough of a reason to choose her version over the original.
So in this last of the P-posts, I’m not going to get into the more general “Why are we here?” question that is basic to all thinking humans. I am not sure that there is an answer to that. Personally, I choose to believe that humans are the complex product of millions of years of evolution without any grand purpose at all. But as we have unfortunately also evolved consciousness or self-awareness, we need to construct a purpose much in the same way that we’ve had to construct the concept of ‘time’. So, I’m going to discuss briefly what female purpose is NOT, and at this point, should never be, despite what our male overlords say, and then get into the why’s and how’s of finding a healthy and productive purpose to help us deal with living in a male world. I touched on this topic a little in H is for Hope, and it warrants a deeper discussion as it is really elusive, hard to achieve, constantly evolving, and sometimes the deciding factor in a person’s decision to keep going or to end it all. Consider it the alphabetical segue between H is for Hope and the upcoming S is for Suicide (if I end up naming it that – censorship is a consideration here for obvious reasons).
What a Woman’s Purpose is Not
There isn’t a male on the planet that doesn’t believe that women were put on this planet to serve them in some capacity. Men might mouth the politically correct words to curry favour with you, but deep down, they believe in men first as the protagonists and directors, and then women in supporting roles. And we know this and see it evidenced every time a male feels emasculated when a woman or girl does pretty much anything that garners positive attention,, or demonstrates, usually unconsciously or naturally, that she doesn’t need him for anything at all. Our purpose, according to men, is to be stolen from, parasitized, filled up, impregnated, used up, experimented on, owned, controlled, degraded, manipulated, hid behind, scapegoated and blamed, and ultimately destroyed. That’s what we’re here for.
Except that we’re not. Not a single one of those things makes sense from a thinking woman’s point of view. If we were here to be used essentially as cattle, we wouldn’t have amazing brains. Research in the burgeoning field of neuroscience tells us that female brains mature faster and stay cognitively younger with age (meaning they diminish more slowly) than males’ brains. Having done my done my early research in neuroplasticity and later in human intelligence, I have always found it interesting and very revealing of male motivations, that modern brain research usually contradicts and/or is much more complicated than what males have been telling us (without evidence, I might add) about females in order to hold us back and build themselves up. They know that male and female purposes are extremely different, and dare I say, contradictory on a fundamental level.
What is Women’s Purpose?
I’ll just say a little bit about this before getting into answering a more practical question. There is no definitive answer to the question of women’s ultimate purpose. Like I said, I don’t think humans as a species have a purpose any more than any other living creature does. We evolved, and perhaps the most unconscious purpose of any living thing is just survival. But as self-aware creatures, this is where things become problematic. Males, as I’ve said many times in the past, are destructive. Even when they think they are creating, they aren’t. They are violent on a basic biological level, and this shows up in their drive to create class-based hierarchies (sex, race, economic class, etc), and then to control, torture, and kill, and to rationalize it all as survival and progress. Females, whether human or not, are creative beings on a basic level. Our bodies have the capacity to create, we are better equipped to think and act in concert with other living things. We are better able to compromise and share. And we survive through balance, cooperation in a system, and self-defense rather than aggression. The manifestation of females that we see today is not evidence to contradict our nature, but rather, evidence of the twisted, colonized creatures that men want and need and have created in order to maintain their dominance. Females have been socially evolved through male control to value male modes of living. And interestingly, a typical liberal female will lust for male ideas of power. And while she mistakenly thinks this is freedom, she is still just a construction of the male mind, serving him and the male drive to destroy. But she just destroys herself in the pursuit of male purpose.
To Find One’s Personal Purpose
If it is a living creature’s purpose to survive, but as members of a self-aware species, we know that we need a greater constructed, intellectual purpose than just survival, how can we manage? In other words, if we are not willing to accept how males run things, then how can we develop a personal purpose to rationalize staying alive? I mean, there is no handbook or recipe for this. The reason most people just go along with the status quo, even if it makes them miserable, is because it is easier. This is why males developed religion and drugs and alcohol and other addictive materials. These tools give a false purpose to the oppressed, rationalize suffering, provide the means to repeatedly escape reality, dull the urge to think and analyze deeply, and ultimately, make them easier to control. If you reject religion, drugs, alcohol, mass media, computer games, social media, etc, then you need to face reality and construct a personal way to keep going. Purpose, in other words.
Now, I am older and more experienced, but by no means an expert on purpose. I’ve wrestled with purpose and the meaning of my own life since I can remember. Honestly, it was a lot harder when I was younger, so if you are a younger woman and are struggling, I get it, and I assure you that this is perfectly normal. But please know that meaning and purpose are very personal things, and you may have questions and concerns that I or others don’t have. Myself, for example, I’m not much bothered by the question of why humans exist, as I don’t think it matters much. But I need to have a reason to stick around. Luckily, I wasn’t raised in a religious household, although my parents put me in an Anglican Sunday School when I was 5 and quickly pulled me out when I came home with some very fucked up ideas about ‘evil’ and drinking wine. I have explored the religious beliefs of various friends through my life and have only seen hate and illogic that seemed like attacks on my intelligence and sense of fairness. I’ve also experimented with drugs and alcohol, but none of it felt very good or helped me achieve anything other than getting sick or sexually assaulted. So really, I learned that I was going to have to use my brain to keep myself alive and achieving. And after many years of mistakes, achievements, depression, and joy, I’ve boiled my own purpose down to three things.
- Mentoring – I’ll be the first to admit that I never wanted children, but I do get a lot out of helping youth, particularly young women and girls. I don’t discount the potential value of older people – I quite like older ladies actually – but I don’t understand why so many choose to contribute nothing despite their accumulated wisdom and experience. You don’t have to do a formal job, but given how long people live these days, spending 30-40 years draining society of resources, especially if you never contributed anything in your so-called productive years, doesn’t make sense at all. But children have more potential to make positive contributions and need our investment, particularly feminist values. Myself, I have a beehive mentality, which is a classic female society – every member contributes to the survival of the hive until the end. So for me, I value and seek out intergenerational relationships, and I’ve come to see my formal jobs as an educator as something much more than just preparing people for examinations. I seek to be an example of non-traditional womanhood for the girls of today. And I try to pass on the idea of asking why and how questions and to reject blind acceptance of male-dominated society.
- Learning – we have these amazing, complex brains, and it doesn’t make sense to me not to push them as far as we can. We have the capacity to learn and create that no other living thing has. And yet, our brains are wasted and so often used to do horrible things. Male creativity usually destroys, and female brain power so often goes to supporting males. It is a waste at best, and human, animal and environmental rights abuses at worst. So for me, I am always looking to learn new things formally or informally. I take online classes – there are so many free resources out there that there is no excuse not to do this. I attend lectures in person if I can find things in a language I can get by in. I walk as much as I can because moving more slowly lets you see more around you. I try to know more about the world, and I’m happy to say that I’ve learned a lot through my own students, as well. You can teach the young, but you can also learn from them. In a nutshell, I can say that I am a lifelong learner. Plus, I think it helps your brain from atrophying.
- Do no harm – it is easy to hurt and destroy and just not care at all. It is easy to rationalize passing the buck, and avoiding responsibility. One person can seldom fix large problems, but that is not a reason to contribute to the problem or to turn a blind eye. For me, I try to leave things as I found them or better than I found them.
In conclusion, note that I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do or to imply that I am better than everyone out there because of what I try to do in my life. I don’t think my life is ideal, nor have I achieved a state of bliss or complete satisfaction. I’m seeking meaning – that’s all. And here, I’m providing an example of how to make your life make sense in a world of male chaos and violence when you don’t want to be a part of it, but are not allowed to be truly separate. Is this a form of escape in and of itself? Who knows? If it is, at least, it can be more productive and feel better than an addiction ever would or could. But if you think about it too closely or for too long, it can often end up seeming like you are looking at yourself in a mirror and you just see the endless smaller versions of yourself and the mirror, and it can make you crazy. Smash the mirror. Just take a photo, look at it, and ask yourself what the person you see could possibly do to inspire you. Then stop thinking about it and just get to work doing it. And re-evaluate periodically. Ask yourself if what you are doing holds any meaning for you. What other people think doesn’t matter. You are surviving and hopefully working towards a higher level of satisfaction. That is purpose, and I think it is the best you can do in a world that wouldn’t agree with this approach at all.
** I’m including a cool clip of of the song Pompeii (original band, Bastille) done in Latin by Belgian singer, Heleen Uytterhoeven. The song itself speaks to me of the shortness of life, how it can end unexpectedly, and how we waste what we have by doing nothing or worse.
We were caught up and lost in all of our vices
In your pose as the dust settled around usAnd the walls kept tumbling down in the city that we love
Grey clouds roll over the hills bringing darkness from aboveBut if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like you’ve been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
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P is for Pedo
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Whoa, oh, oh, young girl
So hard to choose just one… lyrics from one of many classic pedo-fantasy songs. This one, Young Girl, is by Gary Puckett. A common element to all pedo songs is that some to all of the responsibility for the rape fantasies is placed on the child herself for being a deliberately tantalizing slut… And notice that there isn’t a celebrated playlist of female pedo songs, despite female pedophilia being a ‘thing’.
Get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl
You’re much too young, girl
Back in 2017, the beginnings of a wave rippled on the surface of the internet. From the depths, had come wild claims of political and criminal wrong-doings. It quickly became a movement, with a rapidly growing body of wild suppositions and predictions, and garnering wackadoo men from across the US and even abroad. And once claims of there being an elite international cabal of pedophiles was put out there, women started joining. A lot of women will get caught up in completely batshit crazy male-driven movements because of a superficially altruistic message or mission and/or because they have been scared out of their wits – in this case, protecting children from sex predators. Men tend to be more motivated to join groups in order to gain power and wealth, for the opportunity to mete out extra-system violence and revenge for imagined transgressions, and/or to get recognition or gratitude.
So anyhow, this was QAnon, and as quickly as it was built up, it has since lost much of its steam. Personally, I think it wasn’t a genuine conspiracy theory, but rather what inevitably happens when you have the perfect storm of capitalism, the internet, testosterone, and religion. The best conspiracy theories – or, rather, the most worthwhile to consider, if you’re interested in such things – have actual plausibility that can be fact-checked, and QAnon really had little going for it other than a call to violence appealing to political extremists.
Now the pedophilia focus of the group was strange. It may just have been a ploy to get women involved, because really, you can’t take any men seriously when they start accusing other men of sex-related perversions and crimes. Pot meet kettle, etc. etc. Pedophilia is an everyman phenomenon, not the domain of the rich and famous. It has nothing to do with wealth or education or race or culture, and it has been going on since human time began. And it is perpetrated most often, not by faceless strangers waiting for kids in a swimming pool change room, but by the men and boys a child knows: family members, teachers, community religious leaders, and family friends. This is the same mistake that everyone makes about rapists of adult women: they are more likely to be a friend, family member, co-worker or other male you are familiar with than a complete stranger. But believing in the evil stranger props up the myth that good men exist, that women and girls should trust and get involved with at least some men and boys, and that one’s own male family members are innocent by association with you instead of enabled and given sexual carte blanche by you and other females.
So I want to get into a couple of things here. I’ve touched on related issues in other posts in the past (see the links in the post throughout). First, I’ll get into male chronophilia, and pedophilia specifically. I’ll briefly talk about women who molest children. Then, I’ll talk about how women aid and abet male pedos through self-feminization as well as the grooming of their daughters for heterosexuality. And although these seem like opposite-purpose behaviours, they actually work together unintentionally.
Chronophilia
This was a term used by creepy Kiwi sexologist, John Money, to refer to male sexual preference for and fixation on specific age groups. Philia is Greek in origin, meaning a friendly affection type of love, and sometimes, it is just that. Think of the word Anglophile, for example, which refers to someone who really likes the UK and everything British. But not all philias are safe and innocent, and those involving what men’s minds and dicks get up to are anything but. Personally, I think male sexuality, regardless of how socially acceptable or undisordered it is, is the root of all of women’s and girls’ problems. I see the penis as a weapon of mass destruction with the capability of killing and causing great suffering. And you can disagree all you want, but you can’t argue with the statistics on rape and its myriad physical and psychological damage, unwanted pregnancy and its various outcomes, venereal diseases, PTSD, and a whole host of other problems resulting from females having to deal with males’ dicks.
There is some debate about whether all males are chronophiles. Personally, I don’t think this is that important, but if you’ve read my sexuality series, you’ll already know that I consider males to be omnisexual. In other words, all males have at least a tickle of attraction to all sorts of stuff, including children. What they choose to act on and what they choose to suppress and even repress depends on a whole host of factors. There are males who’ll do anyone or anything, anytime, anywhere regardless of age, species, or animate status without a distinct preference. And there are other males who exhibit a socially acceptable range of age attraction, and others still, who have a very narrow range of targets whether socially acceptable or not. The problem is that many males are attracted to age groups that are under 18 while they themselves are adults. While all male-female relationships are inherently power imbalanced, and are thus not truly consensual, it is much worse when there are age differences and one of the parties has an underdeveloped brain and body. Men don’t seem to see a problem with attraction to teenaged girls, otherwise known as ephebophilia, and have built an entire rape-based industry called pornography and prostitution to legitimize this belief. I have a problem with it, of course, as I think intercourse causes physical and psychological damage to females regardless of age, but especially when young. And then we enter the realms of hebephilia and pedophilia – attraction to early teens and pre-pubescent children, respectively. Hebephilia was acceptable for most of human history, and still is in some cultures, the reasoning being that if a girl is menstruating, then she’s fair game for ownership and raping. These days, you still see online discussions among men about whether it’s ‘okay’ to be attracted to a 14-year-old girl. I don’t personally understand adult attraction to teenagers and children. It is really hard for me to get into the headspace of a male that sees this as desirable. But if you understand that everything that men do is about power and control, then you can see why dominating the helpless might be desirable. And with that, I’ll get into the next topic.
What’s a Pedophile, Anyway?
Now, I learned a few things here as I was digging into the boner-brain connection. The most interesting, but perhaps unsurprising, thing to me was that only about half of males who sexually molest children can be diagnosed as pedophiles. Pedophilia, unlike most of the other chronophilias, is a clinical diagnosis of a sexual preference disorder. In other words, being attracted to children is kind of a problem. Yet 50% of child molesters aren’t sexually attracted to children. At first, I reread this finding and thought, WTF??? But then I remembered that the penis is a weapon and that, for men, sexual activity is inseparable from acts of violence, hate and degradation, and a means of exerting power and control, and on some level, ALL males know this. I don’t think that any sexual act that a male carries out with unequal parties – meaning women and children – is devoid of power and control and hate and degradation, even if he dresses it up as love. So after that initial WTF? moment, it made sense. Males assault children to get off and feel power even if they are not attracted to them, just as men sometimes rape adult women they aren’t attracted to, but to get off on punishing them for being female and a threat to their ego in some way.
Researchers tell us that about 5% of the male population are pedophiles, but these data are based on surveys, so I would have to assume that the figure is higher as some men aren’t going to admit what they like if it is criminal. Likewise with rape. Survey-based studies of college age males indicate that a quarter of men would rape a woman if they knew they weren’t going to get caught. That number is likely much higher because a lot of men aren’t going to admit to something criminal in nature. The message here is that it is impossible to know how disgusting and dangerous men truly are because we rely upon incarceration data and self-report data. And only a minority of sex offenders are actually caught and convicted. I remember visiting a friend in L.A. once time, and for kicks, I decided to look up the neighbourhood on the sex offender registry to see how many rapists and pedos lived around me. It was shocking how many red dots appeared on the streets around where I was staying, and then I realized that those dots were only the convicted and released men. Remember only about 5% of male rapists are ever convicted. Anyhow, liberal men have criticized society for pedo-hysteria, and have even created entertainment – the British animated series, Monkey Dust, is an example – that pokes fun at those who worry about what men do to those with much smaller voices. While I don’t believe in persecuting people without cause, I think women and children should ideally have the option of living apart from males.
Of the men who molest children – girls and boys – over 80% of them live heterosexual lives. Some LGB researchers argue that you can’t really identify sexual orientation in pedophiles, but I don’t agree 100%. Girls are much, much more likely to be sexually abused than males, and that difference would not exist if pedophiles did not have an orientation. It may not be an entirely sexual orientation – sex and harm go hand in hand for males – but it is certainly an orientation that involves hurting girls. Twenty percent of girls are molested, compared to 5 percent of boys. I think it’s probably higher in females as girls are groomed from birth to accept sexual attention from males, so they are less likely to see what is happening to them as a crime and to report it.
While homosexual men are not the group to worry most about, there have been a few gay male pro-pedophilia groups, such as NAMBLA in North America and the Krumme13 (or the Crooked 13) in Germany that have advocated for adult-child sexual relationships, decriminalizing child porn, and the like. They are not embraced by the gay and lesbian community, but have perhaps made an impression on simple-thinking right-wingers who may possibly be more likely to be pedophiles than the people they demonize 😉
There has been some effort by left-wingers in recent times to increase the publicity of and search for female child molesters. They are really hard to get a grasp on though for a few reasons. They are far, far less common than male sex offenders, the entire world protects mothers from being seen as perverts and abusers, and child victims are less likely to report sexual abuse from their mothers and female caregivers. So, sample sizes are generally small, and typology models are still under development, but from the data available, two primary types of adult women sexually abuse pre-pubescent children: the male-coerced type, where women assist a male partner in the sexual assault, and the intergenerational predisposed type, where women abuse their own children or children close to them. And these women appear to be almost universally heterosexual mothers or care-givers, although they sexually abuse females more than males. The behaviour seems to be less sexually motivated, and more a reenactment of sexual and physical abuse they themselves suffered as children. Interestingly, female sex abusers tend to be more physically brutal with female victims in addition to the molestation, and serious injuries are much more likely with girls and with youngers victims than with boys or pubescent and teenaged victims. Although, researchers seem confused about why this might be, I have a strong suspicion that this is a direct expression of the internalized misogyny that all women grow up with, and women trapped in unwanted caregiving roles with girl children are possibly tapping into repressed rage from their own childhood abuse. It seems logical that female abusers would see a young girl as a proxy for the hated self, and punish the girl accordingly.
Admittedly, much more investigation is needed to understand the prevalence of and motivation for female sex abusers and the damage they do to girls. Generally speaking, I think mothers are far too protected as it is, and I am no fan of seeing breeding as a human right. I think being born to a sane and loving person is the human right we need to be more concerned with. If you are a severely damaged person, you have no business being around children, let alone creating your own punching bags and fuck toys. I still remember back to my time in China, and I saw plenty of public child abuse, but it was only ever mothers slapping, punching, kicking, and using make-shift weapons on their small girl children. It was shocking, and I was the only one who seemed to notice. Never once did I see anyone — mother or father – hit a boy. Of course, I saw plenty of adult males physically abusing adult females in public. But not children. We see from crime data that males are much more likely to abuse and sexually abuse children, especially girls, but perhaps they save it for the privacy of the home since they are seldom out and about with children on their own, unlike women. And although fathers aren’t as protected as mothers from suspicion of abuse, society generally accepts male violence as the way things are. If we put a few token male rapists in jail, we can all feel like we’re addressing the problem, even though we’re not. But maternal child abuse, including molestation, needs to be addressed in a more serious way.
Aiders and Abettors
I wanted to briefly address a more common female contribution to pedophilia and that is feminization, the pursuit of youth, and the grooming of daughters. I talked about much of this in my 2017 post Thanks for Supporting Pedophilia. My theory is that instead of aging naturally and normally, adult women engage in a whole host of practices – aka practising femininity – designed to chase youth and cater to male pedophilic, hebephilic and ephebophilic proclivities. Women remove their body hair, try to stay thin and unmuscular, dye their hair, coat their faces in make-up to look younger, and dumb down the tone and content of their speech in an effort to look more childlike and to keep men’s attention. And increasingly, mothers groom their daughters for male attention by allowing them to dress age-inappropriately and femininely, to wear make-up, and they tend to punish assertive and aggressive behaviour. Consequently the lines between adult and child are increasingly blurred, and all of it is for male attention. Without males, females have no need to engage in any of this feminizing and infantilizing behaviour.
I’m going to conclude with the following. If I had a daughter, and I feel thankful every day that I don’t have children, here is my list of threats to her safety in descending order:
- Straight and bisexual men – despite entertainment propaganda that they are the only protectors of the weak that we can rely on, they are actually the greatest threat to women and girls, and you engage with them at your own and your daughters’ risk.
- All teenaged boys – in some ways, they are worse than adult men simply because they are more likely to target children than adult women for victimization. But their worlds are smaller and their access to people is more limited and they may be marginally more monitored than adults. It’s a fine line, though.
- All boy children – many are sadistic with impulse control problems, but are uber-protected by boy-moms because of their supposed innocence. You’d be surprised how often little boys commit sex crimes though.
- Straight and bisexual women – while they are much less likely to commit sex crimes than men, as I mentioned, straight women who sex offend tend to be much more physically brutal with girls in addition to molesting them. In addition, straight women are male pedophile enablers, especially if they are boy-moms or women in committed relationships with men. Straight women will sometimes participate in molestation with their partner, but most often will just cover up or pretend the crimes aren’t happening. In some cases, women will trade their daughters’ bodies for a place to live despite there being lots of help for single mothers in Western countries.
- Gay men – they are not so much a sexual risk to girls, but gay men are misogynists too. I’ll bet they’re probably less dangerous to girls than, say, boy-moms.
- Lesbian and separatist women – the only risk they pose is any internalized misogyny they have from growing up and living in a toxic anti-woman world. But by and large, they are the safest people for girls to be around.
So, like the right-wingers of QAnon and various religious groups around the world, do we need to lose our shit in the quest to root out pedophilia in all tribes but our own? No. The sexualization and abuse of children, especially girls, is part of a much larger problem called male domination. And separatism is a more logical place to put your energy and a better investment for your daughters.
This post is part of the Alphabet Series.
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O is for Ownership – Part II
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
You don’t own me
Don’t try to change me in any way…And please, when I go out with you
from “You Don’t Own Me” (1963) – a woman’s point-of-view on what she wants, written by two men. How unusual… And women, including the original singer, Lesley Gore, consider this to be ’empowering’…
Don’t put me on display..
I sometimes wonder whether what we loosely term ‘feminism’ is just another distraction orchestrated by men to keep women busy and feeling like they are fighting for something, but actually accomplishing nothing substantive. Case in point, like the song “You Don’t Own Me”, so many of what women consider to be ‘feminist anthems’ were written or co-written by men, and the message is almost always “I want to keep serving you, but I have limits to the abuse I’ll take from you. So I’m gonna get mad and stamp my feet, and you’ll have to make some empty promises, so that I can keep telling myself that men are worth saving. Then, things will go back to the way they were, for the most part. But at least you don’t own me.”
Well, I’m going to save a discussion of lady-empowerment songs for another time, but the bottom line here is that women’s publicly aired anger at and frustration with men doesn’t mean a damned thing if, at the end of the day, they all still go back to sucking their dicks and accepting minor or temporary concessions or a few minutes of penile attention as proof of respect or love. The only thing men understand besides violence, is denial of service. And very few women are willing to take their anger that far, even though cutting off the gynergy fountain isn’t in any way a violent or extreme solution. Men allow certain feminist distractions, such as the pursuit of elusive equality between the sexes, but not liberation. But it is empowering to sing men’s words and pretend that they change our lives, I suppose.
But anyhow, let’s get back to the topic at hand: ownership.
It is clear, if you live in the world and are a thinking woman, that males and females define ownership (and many other concepts for that matter) differently. But it is always men’s definitions that matter, even if they are irrelevant or even harmful to women. Men define how we live, what we are allowed to have access to, what we think and say and do, and as I mentioned above, they even orchestrate our sociopolitical beliefs and movements. Many women end up going along to get along because it is easier, less dangerous, and more profitable. Those who dare to define their parameters or even to just question the male paradigm end up being outcasts and worse. So as a result, we still don’t fully understand what ownership means to women, just as we don’t understand female sexuality, female abilities, or female psychology. So in various senses of the word, men own women’s realities. I did a cursory look for any research on sex differences in the understanding of ownership, and I found one. It was authored by a man, of course, and it hails from Canada, and dates back to 1994. So obviously, this is a hot topic. Without going into a lot of detail, I’ll summarize dude’s findings with the following examples of typical male and female thinking on ownership:
Male: That shit is mine and mine alone. If you touch it, there will be repercussions because you’re violating my right as a man to have this shit.
Female: In owning this shit, I feel a sense of responsibility, pride and connectedness with myself, others and the world.
And it may be no surprise to you – and we see this in tons of psychological research on sex differences on a whole range of issues – that men are, generally speaking, simplistic, black-and-white, self-centred, entitled thinkers. Women, on the other hand, are deeper, more complex and nuanced thinkers. I can’t help but be reminded, yet again, of how male neglect and dismissal of women’s thinking and psychology has likely held back the development of societies around the world throughout history, and has hastened the destruction of the planet. If this conclusion pisses you off, please note that I’m not saying anything new here, although perhaps more bluntly than you’re used to – men demonstrate how they operate every single day, and their thinking is present in how every single society is structured and operates. Whether on a personal, local, or national level, ownership in the eyes and minds of men is an exclusive right to enjoy, use or abuse that which one claims as one’s own, at will, and to use force to defend it.
Ownership is a vast topic, and I’d love to teach a college-level course on it. Some of the sub-topics would include: the history of marriage, the slavery of women, and the concept of the body as property and a product to be owned, rented, marketed and traded. We could explore the limits of female ownership, especially the interesting contradiction mothers often post in asserting ownership of their children without interference from the government or the public, yet expecting society to foot the bills associated with this privilege. And then, we could explore other forms of human ownership – that of group slavery throughout history – which stems from male ownership of females, although the latter is generally NOT acknowledged as ownership for very obvious reasons. We could also talk about ownership in a political sense from the point of view of capitalism and consumerism, libertarianism, anarchism, socialism, and communism, and how poverty and some element of ownership are major issues in each of those systems. There is also the geopolitical issue of country-formation and border defence. The only reason we have countries is because of men’s need to own everything under the sun. And war is a direct result of men’s need to own land, culture and people. We could then get into more modern ethical issues of patents and copyright, and whether anyone has the right to own and control water sources or plant life or ideas or words. And there is so much more. I think it would be a fascinating multidisciplinary course, but I don’t think it would be allowed these days, especially if taught by a woman.
Now, I can’t address all of that here in this post, although some topics may appear in later Alphabet Series articles, but I’ll talk briefly about a few issues surrounding property ownership.
I remember when I was 17, my mother was studying to become a real estate agent, which was kind of funny because she’d never worked hard for anything in her life, including in her career as a mother and housewife, and she had no clue how much time agents had to put into the job if they wanted to build a profitable career. Needless to say, that job never panned out for her, but she was fine even following divorce – she did what works for many women, she was supported through alimony and child support that didn’t go to supporting children, and then went on the prowl for a wealthy man. She eventually found one, and luckily, he died after a few years and left her a pile of money. If you have a lazy nature and can stomach being a man’s whore, then this is the best and easiest route to surviving as a woman in this world. Be offended, if you wish, but I’m stating a blunt truth about how this world works.
So, one day, I was sitting outside the back of the family home with my mother and father who was still living with us, and mother said to me: “Here’s what you should do. You should buy a house and rent out the rooms to pay the mortgage.” Basically, an investment strategy, that is much more common now than it was in the 1980’s. I remember looking at her then, and I didn’t have a response. Well, I had learned not to have a response to anything she said because she was a clinical narcissist and any questioning or disagreement could lead to punishment and other insanity. But over the years, and still remembering that nugget of ignorant wisdom imparted to me, I have a response. First, I’d never qualify for a mortgage in Canada. Never have, never will. It’s difficult if you’re not a conventional person with a stable and high income. Second, despite my parents buying their first home only because their parents gave them money to afford it, I know my parents would NEVER have helped me. And I was cut out of all family inheritances by my mother when I was 20. Third, I don’t believe in buying things that I can’t pay for outright – debt is akin to imprisonment, in my opinion. I’ve been dirt poor, but I’ve never been in debt. And finally, over the years, I’ve come to agree with anarchist and communist thinking that landlords are a scourge, and as I see more of the world and note how fucked up life is becoming for poor people in so-called ‘privileged’ countries, such as my own, these beliefs have become firmer. I have no problem whatsoever with private property ownership, which I’ll talk more about below, but I have very specific ideas about how money should be earned, what should never be an income source, and the necessity for safe, affordable housing for all people.
No woman is safe. Owning property and having money helps and gives you options, which can be the difference between life and death in some cases, but it doesn’t guarantee safety or freedom from men. Ownership is the domain of men. It is the basis of their hierarchy of power – the more they own, the more power they have. Women don’t exist on the same hierarchy. We’re not allowed to own much, including our own bodies, although to some extent, women can own the children they produce. We are more likely to own property and things through orbiting males or gaining family help, including inheritance, but it doesn’t help us escape our sexual subordination in the world. I talk about this more in my post, M is for Mother.
Further, when you orbit a male, you, and by extension, everything you own, is owned by him. This is the history of the world. Once upon a time, a man could rape you and own you. In some cultures, you’d be dirtied and have no choice but to marry him. In other cultures – and this is still happening today in places such as Kyrgyzstan and rural China, a man can abduct a woman or girl, rape her, and own her because she has no escape. In many cultures, once the rape or abduct and marry scheme fell out of fashion, families mostly just resorted to selling their daughters to men. Sometimes complete strangers to the girl, sometimes, distant family members or friends of the family. And different cultures had different names and practices for this financial transaction. And any property or belongings women brought to the marriage became the property of the husband. The best part of this change of ownership is that it has been sold as a female invention, has often being described as a scheme to trap men, and throughout history has been bolstered by denying women access to education and the job market and leaving them dependent on marriage for survival. Cultures have evolved fairy tales and other propaganda that are fed to little girls to romanticize being swept away by Prince Charming, and to see their wedding day as the best day of their life. Over time, brides themselves have become the ones to plan their own slavery, to pour energy into organizing their wedding event, with males wasting no energy at all in an institution that was designed by them, for them. And even today, the wedding industrial complex is one of the most profitable patriarchal inventions on the planet, and women, despite being allow to participate in society and achieve financial freedom, still choose to be owned. Every married woman that I know – and there aren’t many anymore – is smart and capable except when it comes to her marriage or partnership. The men own their attention, energy and time, and it amazes me when an otherwise independent female friend will turn down or cancel a plan with me because she is afraid of being punished by her male partner for denying him attention. Slavery exists and it’s called heterosexuality, in my experience.
Getting back to property ownership, there are all sorts of facts and figures out there about how much of the world’s property women actually own. It gets confusing because surveys don’t measure how women get property. I’d bet that most of the time, women gain land through orbiting men and they either co-own, have the property put in their name, or they win it in a divorce, buy it with the money won in divorce proceedings, or their owner dies and they inherit land. Women may also inherit property from family or get help from family in making a purchase. What we do know is that never-married single women are the least likely to own property, and they are the only group of women with a sex gap in % of ownership compared to men. Married, divorced and widowed women in the US have closed the gap in property ownership over the last 30 years. When you don’t orbit cock, you still don’t earn as much as men and don’t benefit from a male salary.
It is interesting to look at property ownership internationally. Contrary to what many people think and the stereotypes they may have, property ownership isn’t more common in wealthier countries. Almost none of the countries with 80%+ home ownership is a wealthy country. If you look at the ratio of owner-occupied units to total residential units, you see a reflection of a combination of government policy, property prices, ease in getting mortgages, level of interest rates, and societal mentality on home-buying. Laos and Romania have about 96% home ownership. Ninety percent of Cubans and Chinese own their dwelling. Canada and the US sit at about 66%. And just over half of Japanese homes are owned. And speaking for my own country, up to 6% of our homes are owned by foreign investors currently. This has likely had a negative effect on lower-income, local, potential home-buyers, and I know that many younger people in Canada can’t even wrap their heads around the idea of trying to buy property. Myself, I remember working for a short, agonizing spell in a private kindergarten in China catering to rich people, and I met one mother who told me she had just bought a house in one of Canada’s most expensive cities over the internet. She’d never even been to Canada before. And the last time I was in Canada, I was renting a room in a house that was put up for sale. Chinese real estate agents were coming through the house doing a video tour with foreign buyers. Canada recently implemented a foreign buyer ban, which has been extended to 2027, but I think the damage to the housing market has already been done. And whether foreign or local, unlike in the past, landlords these days believe that renters exist to pay mortgages and should absorb the costs of interest hikes. Shameful.
Conclusion: You already know what I think about marriage and that I have a real problem with child ownership, as well, and there really is no solution to freeing women as a class if most are content with complaining about male dominance in their relationships, yet are still continuing to support them in all possible ways. Women could change the structure of the world if they stopped supporting traditional male ownership models, as promoted in a heterosexual lifestyle. It’s pretty simple, actually. The housing and property ownership issue is probably equally unsolvable as long as people support capitalism and believe in earning money for doing nothing. Housing is one of those basic needs like food, basic healthcare, and safety, that shouldn’t be something people struggle to achieve. And when I say housing, I mean safe, quality housing. Not the warehousing concept that became a problem under some communist regimes or that currently happens among the very poor in Western countries, and especially in places like Hong Kong, where too many people are forced to share an inadequate space despite being strangers. I also think women should be able to access housing complexes, neighbourhoods, and even entire towns where they can live free of men in safe, clean housing. I’d love to see what I touched on in my post: I Want My Own Vatican City. A country of women and girls, for women and girls, but without the religion 😉
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Rudmin, Floyd W. (1994) Gender differences in the semantics of ownership: A quantitative phenomenological survey study. Journal of Economic Psychology, 15(3), 487-510.
O is for Ownership – Part I – Pelmeni on a Twig
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
This post will serve as a sort of preamble to the next topic in the Alphabet Series – O is for Ownership., but I’ll name it Part I, with a secondary title of ‘Pelmeni on a Twig’. Please note that I am not writing is as a sort of ‘poor me’ lament, but as an example of what single women who refuse to play the cock-sucking game often have to deal with. It’s not about me as an individual, but a sub-class of women, and there are many – mostly ignored. I occasionally recognize them in the news, although these women are held up, not as what can happen to women under Patriarchy if they don’t follow the rules, but to blame a government or a foreign country or a racial or religious oppressor for one transgression or another. But whether in the news or in your own world, lone women without money, especially those without children, families or community support always pay the consequences of opting not to orbit men, yet are still forced to live among them in a pro-male world without protection.
And what do I mean by protection? First and foremost, money and property – these two things alone can make the difference between life and death, safety and danger, thriving and surviving. Protection can also come in the form of the services that males are supposed to provide under the millennia-old heterosexual contract that many women take advantage of, but these days, refuse to acknowledge exists. You sell your body to a man for his use, and in return, he protects you from all the other males in the world and from poverty and having to do even more degrading things in order to survive. Protection also comes in the form of women’s shelters. If you are a battered woman in a straight relationship, you are acknowledged and supported if you choose to do something about it. But a lone woman suffering from abuse from a male roommate she hasn’t chosen or a male neighbour doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on as this form of vulnerability is not acknowledged anywhere in the world.
I’ve been a woman of slender means since I left home at 20, and I’ve been supporting myself since then. It has often been hard. Thanks to some weird emotional abuse centring on poverty in my childhood, I’m very neurotic and paranoid about money. I started earning my own money and keeping a weird and meticulous ledger when I was 12 years old, and doing financial calculations has had and still has a calming effect on me since those early years. You’d think that I’d be predisposed to amassing great wealth as a result, but the opposite is actually true – although that is a different story for another time. I often cruise around or below the poverty line. I am great at saving and being thrifty. I’m a minimalist, and there are very few things I can rationalize spending money on. And that includes housing. I’ve lived in a lot of shitty housing, sometimes because I have to, and sometimes because I have a ‘be prepared for hard times’ mentality. And hard times, in my experience, ALWAYS come. If I think about it, I’m kind of amazed at how used to deplorable conditions I’ve become. At this point in my life, I can’t even imagine living in a nice place or even owning my own place where I have control over things.
While I can handle a shitty environment, and even learn to find something charming in decrepitude, the one thing I can’t tolerate is the effects of males on my living space. Males can make a situation dangerous, terrifying, and unbearable, and if you are a lone woman without much money, there is often very little that you can do about it. Sometimes, you don’t even have the option to leave, nevermind the fact that it is ridiculous that a woman should be forced to leave her home because a man or men that she has not chosen to have around are making her home life difficult or dangerous. I can’t count how many apartments or other living arrangements I’ve had where my quality of life has been seriously negatively affected by males, and I’ve even had my physical safety directly threatened by a male room mate I did not choose. And the only options have been to stay and accept it or leave (if that’s even an option – sometimes it isn’t).
So I’m going on year three in a former Soviet country that I won’t name, but I will write about it in depth after I eventually leave. It is a challenging and miserable country, and I find myself yet again in terrible housing. I can’t really move for a few reasons, the most important of which is financial. Since the most recent Ukrainian-Russian war started, housing prices have skyrocketed thanks to a massive influx of Russians looking for long-term stays in this country. I’m still paying pre-war rent, but I still think I’m overpaying given the slum quality of the place. Even considering some of the shitholes I’ve lived in, this one is pretty bad. It’s a two-floor building with eight apartments. I’m on the ground floor. There is severe water damage in the building. Due to the sheer amount of mold eating away at the interior, every day, I have to sweep up what has crumbled off the walls. My kitchen ceiling leaks in 9 different places, including the light fixture – some places leak when it rains, but others leak when the upstairs neighbours don’t turn off the water correctly. And the latter is worse because the entire floor floods, sometimes for days. The landlords knows, but makes excuses. I have no heat that works and it snows here in the winter, but I’ve lived in the Yukon of Canada and could only afford to heat my place to 5 degrees Celsius when it was 50 below outside, so this country is no big deal. My water heater stopped working recently, so there are no more showers in my future. Like in the old days, I heat water and bathing is creative and water-efficient. A few months ago, my cat and I noticed some animals had moved into the space above my bathroom and kitchen ceilings. They sounded quite big, to be honest. But I think someone may have died up there a few days ago, as I haven’t heard any running or thuds lately, and today, there were many flies in my apartment. But there are no open windows that would account for them… I have no way of getting up there to investigate. Further, in the critter department, this country is plagued by packs of dogs. Some are street dogs, and some are pets that are universally kept outside and often free to roam all day and night, as this is how people treat dogs in this culture. There are frequently dog fights in the middle of the night, which can wake you up at any hour. You have to be careful in this country. Rabies is a problem here, and dog attacks are common.
But the worst part about living here is the men, and in particular, my upstairs neighbour. It is a man of about 50 and his young son. I’d like to be able to explain him away as been partially mentally retarded or brain damaged, but a lot of men here are a lot like him. And his buddies that come round seem cut from the same cloth. He is extremely loud, speaking and moving about. And his son is learning fast. Because of the poor construction of the building, everything these people do causes the light fixtures and furniture to rattle, as if a minor earthquake is occurring. Their sleep schedule is hard to pin down, and I’ve been frequently awoken by shouting and thudding at 3:30 in the morning. The man has a group of loud male friends who stand outside my window, which sits directly on the small road running behind the building, with no yard as a buffer. Instead of texting or calling the neighbour or going up to his door, the visitors just shout up at his window. The neighbour and his son also throw large firecrackers down to the street beside my window late at night sometimes. It’s terrifying to both me and my cat.
But the worst part of the worst part of my apartment problem is that the patch of yard beside my building has gradually, over just the past year, become a garbage dump. You see, despite there being many, many large public waste bins along the streets for all to use, my neighbour throws all his garbage, as well as all his liquids, out his kitchen window. And my kitchen window being directly below his and at ground floor level, I get to hear the dumping activity, I get a view of the garbage dump itself, and all the liquid and some of the trash lands on my window instead of the ground.
I frequently have a WTF?-moment when I look out my kitchen window. The scenery changes every day based on what my upstairs neighbour tosses. Sometimes, there are chunks plastered to my kitchen window if the refuse is liquidy-chunky in nature. Sometimes, there are cigarette butts, bits of plastic or food remains on the window ledge. And of course, the breadth, depth and content of what’s directly on the ground varies. But perhaps the most interesting variations are what occasionally becomes impaled on the twigs and branches of the tall plant life in the yard. One day, I might see used tea bags dangling like single-use Christmas tree decorations. Other times, it’s a plastic bag waving in the wind to celebrate post-Soviet freedom and the backward slide into medieval chaos and poverty. But one day recently, I glanced out my window, and I couldn’t figure out what I was seeing. It was cream-coloured and round; it wasn’t packaging, but some form of food remnant. I photographed it and went online to figure out whether it was some local food that I hadn’t yet encountered.
And I think I figured it out. I’m pretty sure it’s a pelmeni [пельмень – singular; пельмени – plural] – meat dumplings, considered by some to be the ‘heart of Russian cuisine’. And apparently, they make great tree decorations. Much like the slim odds of flipping a coin and having it land on its edge, I can imagine it equally rare that one can toss a pelmeni out the window and have it end up speared by a twig. I’d be impressed if it weren’t the mark of a much larger problem – that of being a woman negatively affected by males in your living environment whom you have no control over. And in case you’re wondering, I can’t do anything about this. The police are a corrupt joke in this country. And I am a foreigner, so I have no power. And of course, I am a lone woman. And it doesn’t matter whether you are in a really patriarchal religious country like this one, or a liberal democracy like my own, going up against a crazy male or even an average male when you aren’t under the ownership of another male can be very risky.
So like with so many periods in my life, I see this as something I just have to ‘get through’. I just realized the other day, that even when I can find moments of enjoyment in a shitty period, I still understand most of the chapters in my book of life as something I have to endure. I’m trying to make something happen so that I can leave this country. If you’ve been following my writing for a while, I said something similar about my time in China. It took a while, but I made it happen then, as I’ve made things happen many times before, so I know I can do it again. But I feel tired, and the goals I’ve set feel really big right now. I used to be more ambitious when I was younger, and I’m trying to dig deep to find it again. I want to be able to tell younger women that it gets better with age and experience. That you can achieve something and feel a bit of freedom with some options and comfort. I’d like to be able to say that you can find a place of your own without resorting to sociopathic behaviour or selling out and earning your money through anti-woman behaviour. But I can’t help but wonder to myself when looking at that goddamn lone dumpling suspended above the rotting food and plastic bottles outside my window whether this is just a metaphor for my life, and for the life of any woman who rejects men: throughout and in the end, it’s all just a stick up the ass of a dumpling. I hope I’m wrong. Stay tuned.
I’m going to file this in my Conversations with Men series because many of the things men tell us are non-verbal. Sometimes, you get more honesty when you look at male behaviour and body language than when you listen to their bullshit.
K is for Kin-Keepers
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
To be honest, this is a term I have never before used in my life, and I hadn’t even heard of it until a few months ago when I read an article that referred to it. My plan here is to introduce the term and how it pertains to women briefly, and then to take on a part of the article that inspired the post. You can find a link to the article here. Please note that it is not a feminist article, even though its topic certainly warrants a discussion from that perspective. In the conclusion, the author even tries the whole ‘suffering makes us stronger’ and ‘patriarchy-compliant women are strong’ bullshit that is force-fed to today’s women to shame them into silence about real problems, and that I talked about in a previous post. It amazes me how often women dance around disturbing issues without actually naming the problem that underlies the entire mess. It is amazing, but not surprising. If women allowed themselves to truly see and acknowledge reality, their entire world would collapse. They’d lose the perks that they get from supporting men, and they’d become social outcasts with all the negative consequences that arise from not sucking cock literally or figuratively. To be honest, most wouldn’t survive, as heterosexuality strips women of their natural strength, and most women don’t realize what exactly is being exchanged when they engage in pro-male lifestyles.
So, what is a kin-keeper? Well, it is apparently a social role that exists within a family that is taken on primarily by women. It is thought to involve three primary duties: carrying out family rituals and traditions, organizing family reunions and protecting family relationships, and maintaining family records and narratives. Basically, I call it it glue. Without a kin-keeper, you don’t have a cohesive and loyal unit with a group memory or sense of history.
Now, women typically take on the role without necessarily being asked or forced, and I think they do it for a number of reasons. On the whole, a) women tend to have better social skills than men, so it is natural for them to put work into relationships, b) they need to have social relationships both to feel human and to make up for the fact that traditional het relationships strip them of valuable social connections and outlets, c) they need to do these activities to maintain the lie of happy and successful female heterosexuality, and d) if they are housewives, they need to find a way to justify their existence and to fill their abundant free time once children are of school age and older. For some reason, liberal feminism has started trying to pass off the role of kin-keeper as ’emotional labour’ deserving of pay, and that is probably why I haven’t taken much of an interest in it. I’m sick of being pressured into fighting for the privileges of women who wholeheartedly want to maintain patriarchy and who fear and hate lesbians, the child-free and female separatists with a passion. For me, true feminism is about the prevention of women’s oppression and especially of the punishment of rebels of patriarchy, not slapping bandaids on problems so that women can continue complying and forcing their daughters to comply and submit. It is the latter mission, however, that takes up most of the limited feminist money and labour available. And of course, this ensures that women will never be free or healthy.
The Family Who Suffers Together, Stays Together
Now, before I get into the third duty of kin-keepers, I just want to say that many, if not most, kin-keepers are enablers and expert liars, and I discuss both topics in other posts in the Alphabet Series. These are crucial skills for practising straight women so that they can successfully live up to their end of the heterosexual contract. Basically, they agree to take on a particular role in the patriarchal institution known as ‘family’, and a woman absolutely cannot do this well without being able to enable men and boys and to lie as if her life depends on it – and it usually does.
The sole purpose of family is to triumph over other families. You know – that survival of the fittest type of thing that people tell themselves, especially when they screw over other people. And to do that, a family needs a narrative. Every semi-functional family has one. The kin-keeper, as protector of the family memories and records, is key to maintaining the narrative. They hold the grudges. They appoint the scapegoats. They cover up the crimes and dirty secrets, unless it is advantageous to reveal them. They dole out emotional rewards and punishments. And they take photos, maintain their collections, culling when necessary. Family, as a patriarchal institution, is about the male journey to power and female support of that journey. So the narrative, for the most part, ends up being the history of the males of the family. We all know this is true. We see it in the records kept through the ages. And we also know that male stories and success depend upon the suffering of women and girls, and that this suffering must happen in silence. No one likes truth-tellers. They ruin the narrative and upset the balance of power. Revealing that a male family member is a rapist, for example, can ruin his life, and possibly the trajectory of the family. He probably just made a mistake – there’s no need to make a big deal out of it. The female victim, however, will build character and strength through her silent and required suffering.
Kin-keepers also like to hide facts about drug and alcohol problems, incest and domestic abuse, sluts who have children out of wedlock, gay aunts and uncles, extramarital affairs, humble economic origins, and really, it could be anything that might bring embarrassment to the family and destroy relationships.
Digging into the Past
While most wives and mothers tend to take on informal emotional labour following marriage and breeding, once traditional women are faced with having almost nothing to do, they often turn to doing actual research into family history, often with the help of genealogy services. And this is where the article I referred to comes in. The article asks whether digging into our families’ DNA pasts should come with a trigger warning. Basically, as I interpret it, most women’s stone cold realities are depressing as fuck, but they are so well covered up, we all grow up not knowing the horrors that women go through. We ourselves think we are alone in our suffering because we are not allowed to talk about it. So facing the sheer amount of collective female suffering can cause cognitive dissonance – or what the author of the article calls ‘distress’. On some level, we all know we are rape babies. There are different kinds of rape, but unless we are test tube created, we are all rape babies. But no one wants to acknowledge that, so it can be distressing to find out that family members have been raped or were disowned because of rapes. We may also find out that male family members were pedophiles or rapists. There are all sorts of skeletons that can be unearthed when one goes digging in one’s family’s past. Whether you can handle it is another story.
In my own family, we had a ton of skeletons involving rapey men and abused women, and I didn’t even do any research or take on the role of kin-keeper. I found out that my paternal grandmother became pregnant out of wedlock and her parents disinherited her from the family fortune and married her off to a poor salesman who ended up beating her for her entire life as if punishing her for her first bastard child and general whorishness. He raped three more children out of her, but he refused to buy her a wedding ring as an additional insult. She was an unusual woman and had a full-time job outside the home during what was a generation of housewives. She bought her own wedding rings with her own money, and today I have those rings. But she became an alcoholic and died a very broken woman. Her second son ended up being a chip off the old fatherly block and molested his younger sister, my aunt, for years. He luckily died in a motorcycle accident at the age of 18, but as a further slap in the face to my aunt, he was turned into the young, dead hero of the family. My aunt went on to marry an abuser, but became a social worker focused on battered women as well as helping incarcerated men. She would bring ex-con boyfriends to family gatherings. We’d find out later that the boyfriend of the moment was out of the picture after robbing her or something like that. My aunt’s second son ended up a classic abuser like his father. He got his wife pregnant and then left her to be with some American woman he also got pregnant at the same time during one of his business trips south of the border. My father, the youngest child and a psychologist, refused to let my aunt speak of the molestation and would belittle her in front of me when she tried to talk about it. My father himself was both a child psychologist and sex therapist who used to bring home movies filled with violent rape scenes for my mother and I to watch with him. I learned about male entertainment at an early age…
Interestingly, on that side of my family, there was an official policy that women weren’t allowed to be the family record keepers. After I put the whispered stories of abuse together with my father’s pro-rape approach to child-rearing, I understood why this was so… I also understand why I absolutely hate the concept of family, and was inexplicably anti-marriage from a very early age.
I leave you with this thought or question: what does the modern kin-keeper do with the shit she unearths about her own family? She is uncovering the true stories of women, the truth of heterosexuality, the truth of what men do to women. How does a straight, male-supporting enabler deal with her cognitive dissonance? Does she re-bury it in order to keep the peace and to maintain her comfortable life, denying knowledge to the girls of her family, and instead slathering her conscience with a healthy layer of hope? Or does she wake the fuck up and actually do what adults are supposed to do – protect girls from the shit men and boys have been doing to women and girls since human time began?
I think you and I both know the answer to that question.
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Tits Out: An Observation
I live in Eastern Europe/Western Asia – not really sure how to define it. All I know is that it is a surreal part of the world that I didn’t learn anything about growing up, and I certainly never fathomed ending up here when I became aware of it. But as rich foreigners increasingly infiltrate Western countries, single, childless women – especially those without financially-supportive family – are increasingly forced to look elsewhere in order to survive. I meet more and more women like me every year, and I think it’s only going to get worse. Indeed, I work online 7 days a week, and I still can’t afford to live in my home country of Canada, so off to other places I must go. Verging on digressing, I know, but everything I discuss here today is all about misogyny, whether it is being a disenfranchised, lone woman, or an ‘owned’ heterosexual woman exchanging sex and service for orbited privilege. Only men win in this world.
So yesterday, I ventured out into this weird little city that I’ve been hunkered down in for over a year to pick up some vegetables, and on my way back, I was met with a sad and sort of shocking scenario. Normally, I don’t pay much attention to what people are wearing. It’s not that I don’t appreciate style, it’s that I don’t really care. One of the few things I like about where I live is that it is one of the most unfashionable countries I’ve ever been to. I’ll amend that a bit – the women think they are fashionable, but they really aren’t, and I get a lot of disgusted, head-to-toe-to-head looks from the local women when they pass me on the street – me and my no-nonsense trousers and modest accessories. Funnily, no matter where I live, I never do ‘woman-face’ correctly.
But yesterday, here is what happened. So I’m trudging home with my bags of onions, garlic, mushrooms, zucchini and tomatoes in 35 degree heat (it hits 45 in August, ugh), and I vaguely registered an old man passing me with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. I pay little attention to males in public other than to know exactly where they are in my personal space orbit, and whether they pose more of a threat than any and all males do at any given moment. A few seconds later, several paces behind him stumbled an old woman with a very vacant look on her face. Women, I pay attention to as fellow humans. It took me a moment to process what I was seeing. She was wearing colourless rags, and I couldn’t really figure out the individual pieces of the ensemble, but I realized, to my great surprise, that she was mostly naked on top, one withered breast exposed to the world. I stopped in my tracks to take in the scene and to see what other locals around us would do. A few people noticed and did nothing – perhaps this kind of thing is normal around here? Haven’t seen it before – naked homeless dudes in other countries, yes. Women, not so much. I turned and saw that the man had already stopped a woman on the sidewalk. He must have been asking for money. His female companion caught up to him.
What struck me is that no one seemed concerned that the woman was exposed, including the woman’s owner. And this is an extremely religious country with lots of rules about women’s evil body parts, what should be covered and when the covering should occur. But note here that I’m not talking about being offended by naked breasts or that women’s bodies are problems or something. What I’m saying is that women are vulnerable in this world because of their bodies and because of the fact that males have designed every corner of this earth to punish women for having female bodies. A naked female body is an invitation for one kind of assault or another, either to punish her or to use her or both. Heck, you can be very modestly dressed and still be the target of male assault, but complying with feminine clothing as well as public nudity are generally seen as permission and an invitation for male attention. Women don’t understand this, generally – the relationship between compliance and male violence and that actions have real implications and don’t exist in a vacuum. To assume that you can do what you do for ‘other’ or ‘personal’ reasons doesn’t divorce you from male attention. They don’t care what your intentions are.
Anyhow, I watched the scene for a few moments and felt reasonably sure that nothing immediately bad was going to happen. This was likely a homeless couple, possibly suffering from age-related cognitive problems. I have to assume that, being such a religious country, the church provides some kind of assistance to the needy. The government situation is a bit of a mess. When I run into stuff like this, I am of very mixed minds. I don’t help men – ever – and I am very picky, based on past bad experiences, about the females I assist. I know there are those who would disagree with me about selectivity, and that is fine. I am just very economical about where I spend my very limited gynergy.
Needless to say, this was a sad scene that left a very bad aftertaste. Owned heterosexual women, generally have great potential for perks in life that single women and lesbians never have, but I also think that the depths to which hetero women can sink are far, far greater. Heterosexuality, for women, is like a high-reward, but very high-risk investment opportunity. Every day, I more firmly believe that female separatism is the only way to female dignity and freedom.
I is for Infantilization
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Although I’ve touched on this subject in other posts, I thought this would make a nice companion piece to E is for Emasculation. Emasculation is testosterone-fuelled hyperbole where men pretend that having their rapey privileges taken away or even just questioned is akin to the removal of their biological weapons of mass destruction: their cocks and balls. All men see their privilege to harm women and girls as a god or nature given right, and to even question that is a crime against manity. It’s puzzling and frankly, pathetic – if you lose your entire identity when it’s even suggested that you’re not allowed to do violence, what does that say about you and your class of creatures?
In my post, The Female Equivalent of Emasculation, I discuss whether women experience anything like what men do. My conclusion is ‘no’. In order to feel a stripping away of privilege or power, you actually have to have privilege and power, and even more importantly, you have to have them AND feel like you deserve them. Females don’t have privilege and they certainly don’t have any power, and most women don’t even feel like they deserve them, thanks to a lifetime of patriarchal brainwashing. So no, women can’t and don’t feel this unjustified and irrational rage that men often do. But they do experience something that absolutely ensures that they never will gain rights and power, let alone privilege or the feeling that they deserve anything but the suffering that is doled out in the name of male love.
So today, I is for Infantilization.
To infantilize is to constantly, and even systematically, treat women as if they are children or as less intelligent and capable than they are. It involves a whole host of language and behaviour patterns, is carried out by both men and women, and is often helped along by other patriarchal tools such as gaslighting. I’ve suggested before that infantilization is closely related to feminization, the enforcement of unnatural, gendered stereotypes that place females firmly under the male boot, ready to serve unthinkingly.
So let’s talk purpose and methods.
One could easily devote an entire book and even an entire research career to this topic. It is an international problem for over half the population, and generally seen as acceptable, if it’s noticed at all. Many men and women, including women claiming to be feminists, even consider infantilization to be sweet or sexy. But, infantilization is all about 1) transcending and erasing the boundaries of women and girls, 2) denying them power, intelligence, agency and recognition, and 3) breaking down their confidence. It starts in childhood when girls are more susceptible and vulnerable to harmful messaging. It is possible to infantilize a child by treating her as younger or less capable or less intelligent than she actually is. Boys are given free reign in all areas and bestowed with the idea that they are smarter and more talented than they truly are, while girls are protected and punished and denied the most basic freedoms and acknowledgement. By the time girls reach adulthood, they are well used to being treated like naive and even stupid children and often don’t notice that not much changes despite moving into a new phase of their lives. They are primed for heterosexual relationships and for mistreatment in the workplace.
More on the methods.
1) Transcending Boundaries
Girls are taught early on that their bodies are not their own. They are for public consumption. They see it on television, in advertisements, in the places where their clothes are bought. The entire world comments on their physical manifestation. But it comes from parents, too. The girl is over-protected and punished for things that boys can do freely. She is taught how to make her body small, to lower her voice, and silence her wants and needs. She is dressed to be consumed, not to consume or just exist. Mother presents her daughter to friends, family and relative strangers, and the girl is expected to accept being touched, held and fussed over. She is not allowed to say no as it’s rude or defiant. Denying her agency and body-privacy, mother infantilizes and thereby grooms her daughter for her future role as a compliant heterosexual fuckhole. By the time she reaches her teens and early adulthood, the average girl has little confidence, doesn’t know how to look at herself through her own eyes, and seldom holds or presents herself in a natural way in public. Out in the world, boys and men talk too much and take up more than their share of space, and she accommodates their privilege by silencing her voice and making her body smaller. Males touch her in ways they themselves would never accept, and she sees the attention as tender and loving instead of infantilizing, invasive or degrading. Males grip, and lead and force, and she goes limp, and follows, and accepts.
2) Denying Power and Capability
There are a million and one ways in which females are denied power and any acknowledgement of their achievements. I’ll discuss a few of them here.
The number one way to infantalize a woman is to focus on the physical. It might sound strange at first, as sex and sexuality are supposed to be mature or adult subjects, but in actuality, focusing on female appearance and women’s dichotomous status as either a mother or a child-free non-human, serves to infantilize women and completely ignore their achievements and actual contributions to society. Beauty is decidedly not an achievement. It is subjective and has no relevance, meaning or true value. If it had real, objective value, then men would have taken it over and made it the focus of their own lives. So it serves as a distraction and even obsession for so many girls and women, completely infantilizing them, depleting their limited finances, and turning their brains to mush. As manipulatable as children. A focus on the physical also blurs the lines between adult maturity and childhood in a sexual way, giving outlets for male pedophelia. Girls are pushed to become sexual beings and adult women regress under pressure to become more childlike and youthful in appearance. Women who eschew all things beauty and fashion-related are demonized, ostracized, and banished to a circle of hell that even Dante couldn’t conceive of.
All societies also focus on mother-worship, another non-achievement-based focus on the physical, yet considered the pinnacle of female success. The rewards women reap for getting knocked up are legion. You probably do better financially and socially if you become a mother and wife than if you go to university, and I’m not kidding. But I mean, let’s get real. How is motherhood the number one human female achievement if even cockroaches, giraffes, and mice can do it? This is infantilization – essentially, the childlike having children. And all the while, mediocre males have their career paths preserved, working mothers get maternity leave and baby showers in the workplace, and child-free women are ignored, held back, and denied opportunities and respect.
Women are also infantilized through language, either by being denied existence or by having their female status called out deliberately. The use of man, mankind or manpower is still in wide use and women are supposed to accept being adjunct, but unacknowledged, members of that group. If the tables were turned and we used ‘woman’ to describe all humans, males would start World War T (testosterone) and whine about emasculation and the pussification of society. We also refer to female doctors, but not male doctors, and on American television, female law enforcement is most often called ‘bitch cop’, which is not only infantilizing, but dehumanizing. My modern British ESL teaching materials still include words like ‘mailman’ instead of postal worker or letter carrier. And in North America, we still call female parking enforcement officers ‘meter maids’. In addition, women are regulary denied their titles that denote achievement, such as Dr. even going so far as to refer to esteemed women by their first names only. Instead, we become irrationally focused on titles denoting physical ownership status, namely Miss and Mrs., and frequently bestow diminutives, such as hon, sweetheart, beautiful, and my dear, on adult women, even in professional settings. The British even refer to elderly women, patronizingly, as ‘old dear’, while there is no infantilizing equivalent for old men.
When women demand that they be called Dr., there is often angry backlash, especially from other women. I find this puzzling as female achievement makes it easier for girls to develop professional goals and dreams and to actually have a chance at success. Higher education is a positively gruelling process, rife with misogyny and degradation, and women who have not gone through the process seem to think that educated women breathe refined air. I can tell you, as one of those educated women, that academia was in many ways, more misogynistic than other work settings I’ve experienced. I’d even go so far as to suggest that formal higher education is not necessarily the best option for women these days, unless there is a clear requirement for a specific degree. And I further suggest keeping one’s mouth shut if you are completely ignorant on a topic, especially when what is coming out of your mouth is shit directed at another woman. Anyhow, regarding language, there is no reason in the world where we need to be either linguistically sexing jobs or erasing the female sex entirely from our vocabulary. Language problems are soooo easily remedied, which makes it clear that there is a different motive for keeping things as they are. Yes, infantilization and disempowerment.
Men also constantly use their big mouths to infantilize women in another way, and this is mansplaining. I wrote a short post on this phenomenon a while back, so I’ll keep it brief here. Basically, men feel the need to talk at women. Teach them. Show them. Explain to them. But the problem is that most of the time, the woman or girl being talked at already knows. The female can be educated, skilled, intelligent, and experienced, and the male can be uneducated, unskilled, stupid, and inexperienced. And he knows all of this. But he still explains – or mansplains. It is the ultimate act of infantilization. Every single female on the planet has experienced this, usually thousands and thousands of times in her life. I’ve even had boy children do this to me. I’ve had Chinese male students try to mansplain my own language to me – even more significant as it is a very disrespectful thing to do to your teacher in Chinese culture, so there was an element of racism in there along with the infantilizing misogyny. I’ve also had a Korean man try to explain to me what arithmetic is despite the fact that I have a masters in statistics. These are only a few examples, but there are literally thousands of incidents in my life. And the more educated and skilled you are, the worse it is. Some women just accept it à la ‘we have to coddle the fragile male ego’. But I don’t. You have to be really careful though. Males are used to being able to say and do what they want to you, so reacting rationally and not in a childlike way – meaning that you challenge them – can lead to violence, and as I’ve experienced, you can lose your job and career opportunities if you dare to correct the situation.
3) Breaking Down Confidence
Research has shown again and again that females constantly underestimate their skills, abilities and intelligence, while males vastly overestimate what they can do. This is known, proveable, and we see it all the time. It is likely the number one determining factor in career success, or possibly number two, after connections (as in nepotism and Old Boys’ Clubs). We know that education and experience aren’t nearly as important as people tell us. But how well you can sell yourself, even if it’s all a lie, is. And while confidence is not always appreciated in women in the same way it is in men, an employer will still usually choose a confident woman over a hesitant or unsure one. Our world prefers shiny lies over quiet truths, so it is no wonder that men get the jobs and promotions and opportunities and recognition, and higher salaries.
It is also unsurprising that women will not only underestimate themselves, but the capabilities of other females. A woman will usually throw her support behind a demonstrably mediocre male as a potential, promising leader, than a proven, superior female. And not only is there no confidence in the women in question, but capable females will often be criticized and torn down by both men and women. You even see this in so-called ‘feminist’ communities where women discount a female voice because she is confident, outspoken, educated or appears to have a better-paying job. This is an attempt to infantilize a woman who so clearly breaks the rules about female success and confidence.
My general rule of thumb when evaluating male and female claims is this: take anything a male says about his abilities and cut it in half, and take anything a female says about herself and double it. It amazes me how many stellar, intelligent, capable, multi-talented, and over-educated women I’ve met who are barely getting by financially or who are working jobs that vastly under-utilize and under-value their skill sets. But this impacts single women and lesbians much more than married women because the latter have a husband’s income that keeps them from poverty. They don’t notice the problem unless the heterosexual contract doesn’t end up working out for them.
I can say the exact opposite of males – so many of them land well-paying jobs with opportunities for advancement and recognition despite average intelligence, laziness, lack of experience or education, and a lack of skills and capability. I believe a good part of this is due to the building up of confidence in males and the breaking down of confidence that a lifetime of infantilization inflicts on females. There are other factors that work in tandem, of course. Patriarchy is a multi-front assault on the female psyche.
What’s It All Mean?
As mentioned above, infantilization is a mechanism that serves to prevent women and girls from having power and rights and even believing that power and full human rights are possible for them. To give a female agency, confidence, and a complete sense of power over her body and life throws a wrench in the male privilege machine. Even liberal males want to maintain the illusion that some kind of equal exchange is going on, even when they know on some level that there is a power imbalance. Feel free to test this out by watching the rage flare up when you suggest to a liberal male that the so-called sex that he is having is actually consensual rape since unequal people cannot truly give consent. Men need women to depend on them for guidance, approval, and protection – the very things children require from parents. I argue that heterosexuality depends on the infantilization of women and girls, and I think it’s high time to stop dreaming about screwing your dad or grandpa. It’s time to grow up.
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I is for Individualism
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
So, one winter, five to ten years ago, I found myself at a communal breakfast table of the youth hostel where I was staying in Washington, D.C.. Generally, I’m not a fan of big groups of people I don’t know, so I tend to keep quiet, and just listen and observe the dynamics in these situations, kind of like the meat world equivalent of lurking in an online community. On this particular morning, I noticed a conversation between two women at the other end of my table – an American and a woman from South America. The latter had been reminded of and was recalling her experience at a group breakfast at an international conference she had attended a few years before. I think the breakfast she described had been a serve-yourself type of set-up and this woman had immediately taken on the unrequested and unnecessary role of dishing out food or coffee to all the attendees. Apparently, a Scottish woman had come up to her and told her that she didn’t need to do that and that it wasn’t women’s responsibility to take on serving roles at this conference. The South American woman had become quietly offended, and I think she had bridled at what she had correctly seen as a feminist attempt to invite her to join the group and eat some breakfast instead of missing out and serving. The South American explained to the American that in her culture, it is normal to volunteer to serve the group selflessly, and it had nothing to do with male domination. No way! Couldn’t possibly! But did she bolster her argument by adding that the males at the conference had also immediately jumped in to serve and clean up? No! Of course not! Because they hadn’t and they never do, and yes, this IS due to male domination. Culture is the very definition of all the ways in which women are subordinated to and by males in a particular time and place. The American listening to this story immediately did what all good little white Western women are supposed to do. She bowed her head in self-deprecation and shame, and lamented that her culture was soooo individualistic and selfish. None of this was about patriarchy, but about how Americans only think of themselves and their aggressive pursuit of fulfilling wants and needs at the expense of others. Fuck other people! I’m actually surprised that the American didn’t shit on the Scottish woman for imposing her feminist opinion on the situation. I can’t remember whether I had decided that breakfast was over at that point and I ended up missing the attack on feminism. Regardless, the whole thing was pathetic to listen to and frankly, incredibly reductionist, as all discussions of culture tend to be. But years later, I still remember this little scene so well, as I’ve always had a bone to pick with the whole over-simplified, high school debate topic – Which is morally superior: individualist or collectivist societies?
So, today, commune- and island-dwelling sisters, I is for Individualism.
I was still living in China when I witnessed this conversation, so I had been doing a lot of thinking on this topic, China being the so-called collectivist culture that it is. And I’ll say one thing right off the bat. I think if you’ve never spent significant time living in both individualist and collectivist cultures, you really aren’t qualified to make comparisons or draw conclusions about which one is better. It makes me think of another set of morally infused opposites: capitalism and communism or socialism, and how so many Americans seem to have really strong and judgey opinions about the latter without really knowing anything tangible about what it is.
The second thing I’ll say is that I don’t really prefer either type of society, and that some of the things we are told are present in one, are actually equally or more present in the other. I want to discuss a few points about both models of culture and then I’ll conclude with a note on patriarchy and what that means for women.
The Family as Individual
One thing I noticed after nearly a decade in a collectivist culture is that individualism is actually the undercurrent, but the unit is different. The individual is not the person, but the family. It really clicked for me when a student of mine was telling me about some Western soap operas she was watching. She said they were very different than Chinese shows. The characters in Western shows each had their own story line in addition to whatever was going on within a family. In China, all the story lines involve the family as a group. The members are not individuals living their own lives within the context of a family. I also, in the role of unofficial therapist for so many of my students, listened to countless horror stories of young people being horribly abused by parents while accepting the fact that they would never, ever leave and would even financially support their abusers for their entire lives. They believed and accepted that there was no escape. Individual suffering is meaningless in light of the well-being of the family. So, in collectivist cultures, you are not separate from your family. Everything you do affects its status and reputation – you function as a unit, an individual, essentially. So I consider collectivism to be almost a subtype of individualism, but incorrectly painted as morally superior. In reality, it can be colder, more dishonest and more open to abuse than any true individualistic society ever could be.
The Selfishness, Ruthlessness and Hypocrisy of Collectivist Cultures
It’s funny, so much of what is criticized about individualistic cultures is actually more true of the collectivists. It is said that individual success is not worshipped like you see in individualistic cultures. This isn’t true. Individual heroes are often created as examples to be followed, and you are more likely to see the development of personality cults among leaders within collectivism. I think without a rallying point such as a successful person, people tend to stray off the accepted path in order to create their own purposes. As well, volunteerism, as in choosing to do volunteer work, instead of being forced into it is virtually non-existent in collectivist cultures, despite it being essentially a selfless, group-benefitting act. I remember a conversation with one of my closest friends, who is Chinese, about volunteer work. She is a really smart and considerate person, but she told me she couldn’t truly understand why one would ever do volunteer work and was quite awestruck with the many stories of volunteerism that the various Western travellers she has met had. She also couldn’t believe that many so-called individuals even plan their travel around volunteering. But it is a fundamental and even moral imperative in individualistic cultures, although moreso among women than men, as males tend to believe that they deserve compensation for any work that they do. The same moral approach exists towards charities and charitable donations. In the US, data show that poor people frequently donate money to charities – it really has nothing to do with wealth, unlike what people assume. It is a moral choice, not a financial choice. Charitable giving doesn’t really exist in places like China, even among the rich. There is no drive to help strangers that I have ever seen, despite the claim that it is the faceless masses that you don’t know that are more important than you as an individual. I remember back when the Philippines suffered devasting losses due to a typhoon about 10 years ago. China as a country donated less money to relief efforts than the company IKEA. And the Philippines is both their neighbour and poorer than China. It seemed to me that collectivism has some very well-understood, but unspoken limitations on who belonged to the collective. It is very ‘in group/out group’. And indeed, collectivist cultures tend to be very, very exclusive. You don’t help anyone outside your tribe, and for many, even outside your family – the individual. You also don’t share, you don’t allow migration into the group, and you erase those who try to leave. Collectivist cultures tend to be very racist, very sexist, very censorious and rule-bound, and very unforgiving and violent, despite the ‘for the good of all’ mantra that you tend to hear. These are not the shiny happy people that communists and collectivists claim they are.
When Individualism Creates Weakness Rather than Strength
If collectivists are about grinning and bearing it in the name of sacrifice to the group, then individualists are supposed to be about survival of the fittest, and I’m referring to Herbert Spencer’s essentialism here. Individualism has done some good things for society. It has inspired creativity, some progress in human rights, critical analysis of religion and more. But it has also moved a lot of people away from contributing to the well-being of society and legitimizing some really shameful and anti-social pursuits. And while introducing the idea of human rights, it has also created a lot of confusion over the differences between wants, needs, rights and privileges, often elevating a frivolous or delusional wish to the level of a matter of life and death. Instead of creating the type of strength that would come from being forced to adapt to frequent change or normal human societal challenges, in the way that Darwin saw evolution and progress, highly individualistic societies seem to have created a population dependent on validation and being rewarded for mediocrity and even failure. We now see division and strife that can put individualistic societies in precarious and unstable situations over relatively insignificant issues. And this serves to distract from more serious problems facing our world.
Conclusion
Well, I’ve managed to shit all over everything, eh? Actually, I like some aspects of both types of society. My problem is that no reasonable system can function the way it is supposed to if men run it or even exist in it. In a collectivist society, the male drive to control and conquer will override the sharing and altruistic goals that are supposed to flourish. Female altruism and empathy end up abused and devalued, and everyone ends up suspicious and cold. In an individualistic society, male greed will create horrors and suffering for those without power and resources, and who end up forced into desperate arrangements in the name of survival. I’d love to see and actual collectivist society that acknowledges some value of the individual. It would have to be a small-scale society with clear goals, and the key element – or rather, missing element – would be the interfering destructive sex that has tended to ruin everything it touches. You know who I’m talking about 😉 But for now, if you are going to criticize a culture, remember that is it not individualism or collectivism or capitalism or communism that are the root problems, it is patriarchy. And that should be the basis of your arguments.
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A Consistent Message
As if in preparation for my upcoming audio upload of G is for Girl, I’ve been presented with two more examples of the <<white female as international symbol of ‘public whore’>> phenomenon that I’ve noticed over the past few decades in the various countries I’ve visited and lived in. I’ve lived in the world more than most women, and unlike women who travel with male masters, I actually look around me with no filter and no protection. I don’t pretend, and yes, it is uncomfortable. It doesn’t seem to matter what the local dominant race is, white females are often the go-to exploitable symbol of sex, and by extension, the number one convenient target of blame and hate for the world’s problems. All women, regardles of race, are sexualized. Our bodies and our reproductive capabilities are the basis of female oppression.
Some people try to blame white women for setting impossible standards for beauty that the rest of the female world is supposed to live up to, but I maintain that women neither create nor want oppression, and without male existence, beauty wouldn’t be a thing at all. ‘Beauty’ is a cage, not a form of freedom, and isn’t based on objective reality. Beauty practices and the massive industry upholding them are time- and money-wasters, and destroyers of the thinking mind through distraction and the fabrication of a host of ‘lady problems’ that don’t truly exist.
Beauty doesn’t translate into love or respect – if it did, males would take it over for themselves. Rather, it creates a rationale for hate and justification for violence, not just for males against females, but among women and girls themselves. And we see the manifestation of hate in so many ways.
I present below my two latest everyday examples of what beauty means. Unless it is pointed out, no one every notices or questions it.
(1) This is a life-size, mutilated poster of an almost-nude white female found in my neighbourhood. This is not a local woman from where I currently live. You can see that a white, bikini-clad female was downloaded from Dreamstime stock photos, she was to be used to advertise one of the many, many ‘beauty bars’ in my community, and of course, some male went to town on her, scratching a thatch of pubic hair in the crotch region, and scratching away at one of the breasts, perhaps simulating bite marks. You may not be aware that males very, very commonly bite the women they rape. I used to work as a forensic data analyst and I know what males do to the strangers they rape. For some reason, the belly was also scratched – perhaps a little hatred directed at the reproductive organ region, which is what much of female control by males is all about.
(2) As I was preparing the graphic for my G is for Girl YouTube post, I did an image search for ‘tomboy’, and I got this pornified, young, blonde white girl in a string bikini, complete with a ‘sexy’ pose and an ‘ass shot’. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but I swear there is something going on with the G is for G$$gle search engine algorithm. I’ve written a few posts on internet madness, in general, and strange search results on specific topics before (see: my post on the privatization of search terms to protect men and another post on how searching for ‘sexual violence’ brings you links for dating apps). You also get strange results when you look for racism and violence against white females, which I will write about in a future post.
Anyhow, today’s search engines are liberal male havens: pro-misogyny, pro-rape, pro-porn, pro-censorship, and anti-white-female.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. If you are going to have a successful campaign, you need to be simple and consistent. This is one thing that men have got ‘right’ and why they successfully maintain a position of dominance over females. If women and girls can (and are willing to) learn anything from men, it should be this. As it is, women can’t agree on the basics of feminism, and often can’t even see their own oppression, choosing instead to fight amongst themselves, and ultimately, serving males.
[I’m including this post in the White Girl series.]
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E is for Emasculation
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Forgive the backtracking with another E post (I’m currently on the O’s at the time of this writing), although really, this is my blog and I can do what I damn well please. It is because I am in the throes of preparing my audio upload to YouTube of the reading of my 2021 post E is for Enabler. It might sound easy to some – just read the damn thing while recording and then throw it up on YT, but no. Actually, I take a serious look at the written post beforehand. What I didn’t appreciate on the level that I do now is that not all posts meant solely for written consumption are 100% translateable to audio. For example, I noticed a while ago that, for some reason, I developed a bit of a weakness for parentheses, and I’ve been trying to weed myself off them in my writing for a lot of obvious reasons. So since starting to record audio, I’ve been taking a closer look at my existing posts and have been doing a little editing to make the writing more ‘readable’. A long time ago, I published an academic book in Taiwan with the help of a major publishing company that ended up screwing me financially, but I learned a lesson: everyone needs an editor. But when you’re writing for free as a hobby of sorts, you are both the writer and the editor. It’s an imperfect system, and all writing needs fresh eyes to improve.
Anyhow, as I’ve been going through the E is for Enabler post, I realized that I really needed to write something about an absolutely fabulous E-word that is near and dear to my heart, probably because of the special shears that I keep by my front door to enforce my separatist principles. Just joking! Or am I…? Oh, don’t be so sensitive.
So, what was I saying?
E is for Emasculation
Now, apparently, I wrote and published what should actually be a companion piece to this one back in 2020, and I’ll include bits and pieces of it here. In that article, I ask whether there is a female equivalent to emasculation. Hint: the answer is no. So, read on, explorers!
What the hell is emasculation? I know, it seems a bit obvious, especially because men are constantly moaning about their feelings and how everything is women’s fault.
In the most literal sense, it means castration – full on twig and berries removal. Men are very emotional when it comes to their junk – they take their feelings about their genitals as seriously as they do actual harm to their bodies. It is not an exaggeration to imagine a physician asking a wounded male: “Should we remove the bullet from your brain or save your partially severed left nut first?” with most men responding by looking south. You get the ‘special shears’ joke now, right? Male testeria is kinda hilarious and absolutely begging for satire – but also really dangerous as their insanity is always backed by the law.
But males don’t mean literal castration when they speak of emasculation. As with everything, it is always about their unstable psychology, insecurity and hair-trigger feelings. So, within the realm of male sensitivity, we’ve got the following definition of emasculation:
the reduction or removal of a man’s sense of masculinity, as by depriving him of a culturally sanctioned male role or the exercise of male privilege.
A few things here with this male definition. First, the use of ‘depriving’. The implication is that there is fault on the part of the other party – the one not experiencing the feelings, and that party is always female. Women and girls don’t deprive males of ANYTHING; they can’t as they are of the prey class and ALL males are historically and currently part of the oppressor/predator class. Saying ‘no’ to what amounts to misogynistic treatment by the male, is not deprivation in any way, shape or form. The second missing thing is that, following feeling deprived by women and girls, men believe that what is warranted is violent vengeance against their target. So basically, male becomes unhinged of his own doing, finds a female target to blame, and then victimizes her in a self-sanctioned rage. Sound familiar? We’ve all been at the receiving end of some form of violence because of some male’s glimpse into his own obsolescence and inadequacy. Let’s talk about the triggers of feelings of emasculation and then a bit about punishment.
The Triggers
Words
I’ve written about the selective censorship of women in a past post. Generally, women and girls are only allowed to speak if they are upholding male descriptions of reality and belief systems. Men don’t like hearing things that challenge their world view or even worse, oppose their domination and control of females. Any attempt to uphold an opinion or argument, to correct errors or lies, to assert or reclaim power or control over her own life are dangerous for a woman when dealing with men. Even the word ‘no’ can send men into a spiral of rage. We’re seeing frightening proof of male power and insanity these days among men pretending to be women. They are destroying the lives of countless women throughout the Western world for very logically and simply publicly speaking unassailable biological truths that males cannot be female. It defies understanding in what is supposed to be a ‘progressive’ world, but it is more proof positive that males are still male, no matter what they are feeling or wearing. And in all situations, it comes down to this: in the male mind, women’s words strip him of his perceived right to do whatever the fuck he wants to them. Often, women have no idea what they have said to inspire the insanity that inevitably results. But in truth, they have said nothing wrong and don’t deserve punishment.
Actions
A woman doesn’t even need to open her mouth to offend the fragile emotional state of a man. Males, even liberal males, believe they are owed deference and respect by all women and girls, although what this behaviour actually entails differs from male to male and from culture to culture. I’ve experienced male attacks numerous times for not acting correctly or being adequately submissive or deferential, although most of the time, I think I, and most women, are attacked because of the last two categories. Most women are too afraid to say or do ‘wrong’ things when it comes to males. The other two categories are passive in that you don’t even have to be aware of doing anything specific to be targeted for causing feelings of inadequacy in males.
An example of emasculating behaviour may include looking at a male with disgust or derision or fear. I think of the complaints of black males or of homeless men who get super pissed when women act like they are afraid of them. The women are attacked with accusations of racism or classism and the like. Of course. However, women should be allowed to be afraid of males for obvious reasons and without having to justify their behaviour. Every one of us is assaulted by a male at least once in our lives. But showing that justifiable fear, can for some men, take opportunities for power and control away from them. The retaliation can help reclaim this lost power. And male feelings are always more important than women’s human right to be and feel safe. And we are seeing similar backlash against women who have stood up to men trying to use women’s bathrooms and change rooms. I really believe that these men don’t truly believe they are women; they are just getting off on forcing women to accept having their boundaries and privacy and human rights destroyed. The utimate male power and control. And nothing a woman does to ‘inspire’ male insecurity and the inevitable backlash is wrong or deserving of punishment.
Reflecting
One of the objects men turn women into is that of a mirror. We exist to let men bask in their own reflections. The problem is that sometimes, men don’t like what they see looking back at them. Looking to a woman to validate them, in other words, doesn’t always work, epecially if she isn’t applauding enough, or smiling enough, or if the male in question isn’t feeling good enough about himself to believe the lie of his amazingness. He sometimes just looks at the woman and sees her completeness, which reflects back his own incompleteness as a male. He feels a loss of standing or power. It’s enough to inspire his rage at her. She has done nothing wrong and doesn’t deserve punishment.
Existing
Most men don’t even need an excuse to attack or punish women. All men are misogynists, even if they claim that they’re not, and all men benefit from misogyny, even if they don’t see how. Some men are more dangerous than others and may even believe that females deserve to be punished for existing or that the punishment is just the ‘suffering’ that seems to be part of what all major religions proscribe for females, and as males, they must do their part to enact their god’s plan. So for some men, it goes like this: see woman, feel the existential male insecurity, feel the rage burn, direct the rage to woman, enact the rage. Repeat ad nauseam.
In various times and places, we’ve seen men’s rights groups start up that seem to be fuelled by this notion that female existence is a threat to masculinity. Not that they want to get rid of women. First, masculinity would no longer be a thing, as it exists as a social construct only because there are two sexes. Likely, if women disappeared, men would still follow their biological wiring to dominate and control and create a caste system, with an underclass, among men (discussed in this post here). It wouldn’t be peaceful.
Black American men have an expression – walking while black – that actually is a much more appropriate, serious and pervasive thing for women and it exists on every inch of our planet instead of only in select areas of the US. Walking while a woman (WWW) can end up in your death, your rape, your beating, your sexual assault, your stalking, and more. And much of the time, these 3W experiences are the result of males feeling emasculated because of your existence, your presence, the way you are dressed, the way you do or don’t look at them – ANYTHING. What you do or don’t do doesn’t actually matter. You have no control over men’s feelings, but they project their anger and insecurity on you. You, as a woman, are responsible for everything wrong in their lives, and your very existence highlights their inadequacy and incompleteness.
Every single female on this planet has experienced this at least once, and usually thousands of times over her lifetime. We are used to it and most don’t even notice it. And many learn to deal with this constant threat by developing the skill to placate, to coddle, to make excuses for, to self-harm, to enable and to act as a ‘flying monkey’
Existing does not equate to doing something wrong and no female deserves punishment for being alive.
The Punishment
There is always punishment. I’m going to say one thing here, and I’m going to bet that most if not all women would agree if they were honest with themselves. With one or two extreme exceptions, I’ve never seen a woman act as batshit crazy as a man. I’ve never seen a woman overreact like a man does. I’ve never seen the kind of emotionality and rage in a woman that I’ve seen in so many men – and women actually have real reasons to be angry, and even burn-the-city-down rageful. Standard male behaviour is a sign of their sex-based immaturity, lack of control, irrationality, instability and insanity, and it is incomprehensible that males are allowed free reign in this world. They have projected their own flaws onto women, and then have used them as the ‘rational’ basis for keeping women out of all areas of public life and power. And I say this to men, if women truly behaved as you actually do and chose to act on injustices done to them by you, you’d all be dead, and by your standards, the homicides would be justifiable. Think of how men act when a woman denies him something. Then think about all the times men have denied women a human right. If we acted like men do, all males would be dead. Every. Single. One. But we are female. We are the mature ones, the controlled ones, the rational ones, the stable ones, and the sane ones. Males exist to punish and women exist to be punished. The punishments can entail anything that the creative male mind can conceive of, and in the Western world, women are even being sold the idea that being punished is sexy.
Conclusion and a Note on Male Privilege
The claim of emasculation is a statement of privilege. The sheer number of privileges and advantages that males have over females is astounding, especially when you consider that so many people believe that males and females are ‘equal’ now and some people even believe we live in some kind of ‘matriarchy’. It is even crazy to think that any other oppression can even compare to that of females by males. It partially explains why so many other oppressions are championed these days – there isn’t that much to fight, comparatively speaking. I strongly suggest that you have a look at this massive, but incomplete list of privileges that males enjoy. There are 79 of them – and I can add another one to make a round 80. The privilege to be praised for supporting feminism, or perhaps more succinctly, the privilege to own feminism. Women are attacked for pointing out misogyny, and even for devoting their lives to liberating women. The list I’ve provided (a pdf hosted on my site, but with an attribution to the ‘original’ poster) was compiled by a man and published on his popular and applauded ‘male feminist’ website (including linking to one of my articles outlining the hate that leftie atheist men have towards all women). All of the material was taken from or contributed by women and feminists, and all of these women have been criticized and attacked and worse for writing this material. And this male gets a big fucking round of applause for supporting feminism, even though he is just listing the work that WOMEN have done. Please stop sucking these men’s dicks. Please support women – the actual women doing the difficult work that helps us all.
So, a conclusion to the conclusion: male feelings of emasculation are not oppression. They are infantile and they are borne of misogyny. When a man feels emasculated, he believes you are taking away his millennia-long right to hurt, dominate, and control you as a member of sub-class female. You never need to be sorry for speaking, acting or existing.
This post is part of the Alphabet Series, and will also be included in the Conversations with Men series.
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O is for Other
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Don’t worry I’m not like other girls
From the song ‘Not Like Other Girls’ by Melbourne-based Bares (fronted by Ella Sterland) – released on their self-titled album in 2017.
I’m a cooler better version than what you have heard
About what women enjoy and what they like to commit to
I’m not like other girls because you treat them like shit
And I’m not about that..
Once in a while, I go back and read old posts. I like to see if and how my thinking has changed over the years and also whether I can include links to past articles in my new ones. I vaguely remembered as I was preparing the current article that I had written something about Other before, and lo and behold, in my first month of writing back in 2015, I posted something called Otherfucker, a sort of tongue-in-cheek proposition to rebrand, but with an alteration, one of our best-loved female slurs (popularized in my generation by good old Samuel L. Jackson in the movie, Pulp Fiction). Note that I’ve never tried out this new word, probably because, believe it or not, I very seldom use cuss words in the meat world, unless I’m swearing under my breath in reaction to something really bad or someone has actually assaulted me and I decide to let loose on them.
Anyhow, today in O is for Other, I plan to talk about the following:
- Women Defending Men – aka Not All MenTM or Not My NigelTM or some variation on Unicorns are Real!
- Men Defending Themselves – the scourge we know as ‘male feminists’
- Women Pandering to Men – or what online misogynists have labelled ‘pick-me girls’
- Men Manipulating Women – à la ‘you’re not like all the other girls’
- People Silencing Women – e.g., ‘at least you’re not a Muslim woman’ or ‘other people have it worse, so shut up’
- Men Depersonalizing Women – or creating an ‘other’ for the purpose of punishment
- Men Dehumanizing Women – the basis of patriarchy, capitalism and porn culture
One thing you’re going to notice about all of these categories is that every one of the people who fall within seems to have an aversion to dealing with reality. Men don’t like reality because it would require them to take responsibility for their crimes and other shitty behaviour. Women don’t like reality because they know they would look very stupid because of their decisions and they’d realize how much of their energy and lives they’d wasted on males who approach relationships very differently than women do. Just a note to the women, it is very good to self-analyze. It is okay to realize you’ve made a mistake (or mistakes!). The important thing is to admit them and learn from them. Then you can get better and go on to help other women do and be better.
So, let’s start with a definition.
In and of itself, ‘other’ is a neutral word. It just means different or distinct. But it can take on a negative connotation in its adjective form, but especially when it’s used as a verb. To ‘other’ someone means to view or treat a person or group of people as intrinsically different from and alien to oneself. Othering can serve to demonize certain people and groups as well as sanitize. One hard, fast rule, though, is that in this game, women always lose and men always win.
1. Women Defending Men. 99% of women are desperate to believe that men are redeemable. They birth males, they let males fuck their bodies, and by and large, women have marginally better relationships with fathers and father figures than they do with mothers. As a result, they are deeply invested in looking for Good MenTM. These men are not like other men – the convicted rapists, the sexist bosses, the gropers on buses and trains. The bar is very low when defining ‘good’. All a dude has to do is not get caught raping a woman to pass as a stellar example of manhood. I’d bet that the average wife or girlfriend would be shocked (and then would rebound with denial and fierce defence of Nigel) to find out what her owner actually thinks and does without her knowledge. In reality, Good Men are unicorns – they don’t exist. There is no ‘other’. There is just a spectrum of shit. The awfulness of the smell is therefore relative.
2. Men Defending Themselves. Lots of men, even gynocidal psychopaths, believe they are special and innocent. They are not like other men. Some of the most dishonest and repulsive these days are what we know as Male Feminists. These are leftie, human-rightsy males who are the strongest proponents of female sexual power. You know, the power to inspire boners! They organize slut marches. They march at the front of Take Back the Night rallies. They attend and dominate the discussions at feminist events and in online discussions. They are super great at leading women and telling women how to do feminism, and more importantly, what they’re doing wrong. And not that they explicitly demand it, but if women want to show their gratitude by sucking their dicks, they fully support them because they believe that women have the agency to do so. See? They’re amazing! Very un-self-serving and humble and feminist. But. Yes, there is a but (if you actually need one). If you are a real feminist and astutely question or challenge this male feminist, you are in for a treat. You will discover a viciousness and misogyny under the surface to rival any MRA or trannie. He will let you know that he is not like other men, and you are unfairly victimizing him by acting like a man-hating, angry, hairy, crazy lesbian. He might express sad-feelz at your total stupidity and/or the obvious trauma you’ve experienced and haven’t yet gotten over. Bottom line is: Support withdrawn, bitch!
3. Women Pandering to Men. Pick-me girls. This is a real phenomenon, but of course, the labelling and awareness of the phenomenon has been influenced by American television and social media. Women have, throughout history, pandered to men out of necessity. When half of the population has the power of life or death, comfort or poverty, safety or vulnerability over the other half, then pandering and many more degrading behaviours result on the part of the oppressed group. You can’t blame the panderers for starting the whole thing, but pick-me girls/women do deliberately sell out their sex for the approval of males, and are thus accountable for their behaviour, especially in a day and age when it isn’t necessary at all for survival. They make a public show of not adopting standard gendered behaviour (such as applying make-up, dressing in a feminine way, or acting like a sexy child, etc) while appearing to adopt the stereotypical, gendered behaviour of males (such as liking sports, being unemotional, and over-eating without concern for gaining weight), and thus are not like the ‘other’ girls. And they publicly point out this otherness to males to show how they are better. Ironically, they are just as woman-hating and dick-sucking as the women they denigrate. All women who pander to males or the male gaze exhibit internalized misogyny. It is possibly even more pathetic than when a female thinks she is doing something ’empowering’, such as wearing make-up, but is actually perpetuating misogyny. But in the end, they are two sides of the same coin that ends up in men’s pockets. There is so much self-hatred and psychological trauma fuelling this behaviour. And despite their sabotage of women, they just end up used and abused like any other ‘heterosexual’ female. One day, these women lose their special ‘other’ status because no woman can be better than all the others forever. It’s not the woman, but the man that decides when she has finally joined the masses.
4. Men Manipulating Women. This is the male counterpart of the ‘pick-me’ female duo. Men have a lot of weapons in their arsenal for use in manipulating, using and abusing women (see my post: That’s Some Arsenal You’ve Got There, Gentlemen). The relevant one here is that of bestowing the backhanded compliment of ‘otherness’ on a target. You’ve likely had a dude try this on you before. He’ll say something like, “You’re cool. You’re not a bitch like other girls.” So he pays you a compliment, but he is also insulting you at the same time. You don’t have to be young, naive or inexperienced to fall for this hardcore manipulation technique. Most people want to be appreciated and loved for some special quality. The problem is that the specialness that so many men point out in women is that they don’t act like women, but rather, more like men. (Geez, just go get a boyfriend already, you closeted omnisexuals…). So males will praise females for being accepting of porn use, being open to trying anal sex, or for being thin while also eating as much as a man. It is hyper-misogynistic, but the love-starved female will eat up these pseudo-love-bombs. Her internalized misogyny will be reinforced, and she’ll doubly commit herself to not stepping out of line (i.e., acting human, rather than… god forbid, female). What she doesn’t realize is that one day she will fail. She may question her sub-human status or make a demand on the relationship that doesn’t suit her owner. Or she may not actually do anything different at all. All that needs to happen is that the man gets tired of her. All he needs to do is manufacture a fault or just notice that she is human, rather than an object catering to his every wish. And she becomes just like all the other girls. Again, such a waste of a human life.
5. People Silencing Women. This one, I’ve written about before. These days, it manifests as racist misogyny, it is a form of othering for the purpose of scapegoating, censoring and cancelling, and it is predominantly done to white women. It is a standard reaction to the perception of a group of women getting too much attention. There is always backlash when women get too powerful in the eyes of men and their supporters. In reality, the actual power achieved has been negligible. White women have never had and still don’t have power, have never been equal, and have never been over-represented or even proportionately represented in any line of work, despite what people need to believe. And like all women, they have only had a voice when orbiting the privilege of a male through marriage or male family members or speaking about issues that concern anyone and everyone but themselves. Anyhow, like mentioned in previous posts, calling up a handy acceptable victim group, usually brown or black women, is the fastest way to shame and silence white feminists, even if they are poor or in desperate need of help for rape or violence victimization.
6. Men Depersonalizing Women. As a woman, have you ever noticed that we have limited choices for our ‘identities’ simply because they tend to be discrete boxes or categories that don’t seem quite natural? You often feel like you don’t fit what’s available, and the choices available, as it is, seem equally challenging or unappealing. And if you are a WGTOW – woman going your own way, eschewing categorization – you face serious hardship, unlike men who are worshipped for forging their own path when they do the exact same thing. Men put us in boxes for a reason. Power and control. To create ‘us’ and ‘them’ or ‘other’. And in addition, it is easier to other and dismiss and move on to dehumanization when you can lump a bunch of things/people together. A group has no identity, no face. Without a face, you don’t need to see them as like you. They are undeserving of sympathy or empathy. So it is easy to apply stereotypes and use them as weapons. Men can demarcate the rules and limits for each group. They can judge and punish when a member oversteps or errs. They can designate certain groups as scapegoats and blame them for the very things they themselves perpetrate. Men have done this to the class of women known as prostitutes since the ‘oldest profession’ was forced into being by men. No other class of women has been so used and abused as convenient blame targets for problems that men have created. And many heterosexual, married women have piled on over the centuries, blaming prostitutes for men’s abuses, despite their actual roles as women not being much different.
7. Men Dehumanizing Women. This is the basis of patriarchy in general, and capitalism and porn culture, specifically. Dehumanization is the removal of human status or qualities from an individual or group. Men are human. Women are ‘other’. Sub-human. Non-human. Object. No oppressed group has ever been more dehumanized than females. We see this in language with the sheer number of slurs heaped on women, which include reducing women to body parts, objects and animals. No oppressed group has ever experienced the range and amount of dehumanizing language that females have. And females are still the most slurred and dehumanized group on the planet today even though we focus on every group BUT women. It is so pervasive and normalized that no one even notices it, and women are shamed if they call attention to it. Women and girls even adopt the language of their own dehumanization, which reinforces continued male use. “If women accept it and use it, then it is a-okay! Carry on, boys!” We also see the dehumanization of females in the use of ‘she’ to describe tools and machines. Cars, boats, and aircraft are among the many inanimate objects that are called ‘she’. Men also, throughout time, have referred to the manipulating and using a woman’s body as if they are playing of a musical instrument.
It is only when women are ‘other’, completely dehumanized, that we can be commodified. Women’s bodies are for sale and for rent, and it is the foundation of capitalism. Without the dehumanization and commodification of women’s bodies, capitalism cannot exist. What is even worse, however, is that not only do males consider it ethical to buy or rent a woman’s body, but because she is a thing, they also don’t acknowledge her suffering. Objects don’t suffer; they exist to be used. When a man adopts that attitude, he can justify anything he does to the object as it is his for the period he has paid for.
And I’ll leave you all with this final thought. Otherness is perfectly fine and natural in a world where human complexity allows for individual and group differences. Strict, unthinking conformity is seldom a good thing. Problems only arise, when otherness is forced upon others for the purpose of cruelty or blame, or when you adopt it yourself in order to claim a special or uber-victim status and to manipulate or silence others. It’s all likely easier to navigate if we try to understand where our own personal human rights begin and end, and when they start to trample others’.
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Reissuing of ‘Called It’
Sorry, folks, I messed up on this latest post, and I thank Minka on YouTube (you know who you are) for letting me know. Cheers on that. I really shouldn’t write these things late at night and especially when most of the media is referring to this person as she and by a female name, which isn’t allowed in our current sociopolitical climate. So, I automatically and wrongly assumed that that this was a male in a dress and wig. I was WRONG! So let’s give this another go.
Round 2
Yep, I really did. The first trannie school shooting. And I am going to indulge in a little smug-face for a second…. Okay, that felt good. But seriously, back on March 1st, 2016, I wrote a little post on male violence, which ended up with a consideration of how trannies distort the sex ratio of violent crime stats. I predicted that it wouldn’t be long before they’d break into school shootings (Waiting for It: The First Trannie School Shooting). I’m actually surprised we had to wait so long. But there is a twist that I didn’t predict…
“And I really think it is only a matter of time before one of these social-outcast, mentally deranged, confused, damaged, gun-home-residing boys comes to school in a dress and a mask and toting a metal penis gun, and shoots the fucking place up.“
From my 2016 post. I got a few things wrong – the trans is a 28-year-old former student of the school, not a kid. And this shooter is a WOMAN. She is a FtT or trans-identified female. The police are calling her a ‘she’ and this will likely be listed as a female crime – the first or at most one of the very, very few solely female school shootings.
“And he’ll shoot girls, primarily.“
Almost. Girls and women. And we’ll say ‘she’ instead of ‘he’ because that is what she is. Four of the six murdered were female, including two 9-year-old girls, a substitute teacher and the head of the school. Perhaps it is because all this happened in Tennessee, in a hard-core Christian community and because the perp is female and thus not feared or respected in the way actual men are, but people are using her ‘dead name’ and referring to her as a female. It may be the first time in history that Christians are actually dealing with reality and speaking truth!
I present Little Orphan Annie Audrey Elizabeth Hale. The proud owner and user of a semi-automatic rifle and two handguns, as well as a death wish.
And like all female trannies, she got what she wanted; an attempt at male privilege. Now, as I’ve said before, most female trans are just self-haters who don’t want to have to deal with the shit that women have to endure, but are generally okay to deal with. But Audrey took things a little further. Her quest for male privilege resulted in female destruction and possible martyrdom. TRAs will likely be milking this event for years as an example of how the system failed this woman.
Luckily, this piece of shit was shot dead at the scene. Basically, a suicide (death by cop). It is rare to see a woman take down a bunch of other people while on a death wish. Perhaps this was a quest for the ultimate male privilege. Murder-suicide is a male game. I tend to feel a bit bad for women who are so messed up that they try to become males, but the internalized misogyny stops me in my tracks every time. And if part of your woman-hate involves killing little girls, any sympathy I might have evaporates.
I will say this. Male trans are respected. Female trans are not. In the media, on TV, and by the public at large. If you want any more (like do we need MORE?) evidence of the absolute misogyny that runs through Western society, it is this. This woman is being roasted as a woman, not a man. Society needs to prove that women are bad too, so a female trans will be called female, and a male trans will be called female. If this shooting had been committed by a male in a dress, he would have been called ‘she’, would not have been ‘dead named’ and if taken alive, would have been housed in a female prison.
Oh, and as a side note, apparently there is a ‘manifesto’, and I can’t wait to get a look at that.
I’m including this post in the series, USA: The Downward Spiral.
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An Unusual, but Badly Needed, Instance of Public Pushback Against Trans Tyranny in Canada
I’ve been trying to limit my news intake to about once a week lately. The headlines are repetitive and clickbaity, catering to today’s keyboard social justice warrior who tends to spend more time in the comments sections of articles than actually reading the published content. Myself, I want information, not sensation/entertainment, so news offers little. But this is no new disappointment as I lost any faith I had left that the news was about anything other than ratings/money a long time ago. An apolitical news agency is about as hard to find as an objective scientist these days. Just as people used to argue for a separation of church and state in the past, we need to start arguing for a separation of capitalism from media and science today. Some things just don’t mix well.
Anyhoo, today was my news perusing day – which I consider to be more of a snorkelling expedition than a deep dive, cuz who wants to risk the bends, right? – and I noticed a strange and interesting article concerning the collision of a number of my shitlist topics: trannies, Canada, and to a lesser extent, International Women’s Day. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know my stance on trannyism. And you may also know that I am a long-term Canadian expat, mostly for financial reasons – I just can’t afford to live there as a single, child-free woman who doesn’t fuck men. But if I had money, I don’t think I would live there anyway, simply for ideological reasons. Canada is an anti-woman, pro-tranny stronghold, for one, but leadership has made a number of questionable ethical decisions of late in the foreign policy department. International Women’s Day? Well, for me, it is kind of like Earth Day – an opportunity to publicly and smugly pretend you are a good person by virtue signalling about how much you care about the issue without having to change any of your behavioural or lifestyle habits. These days require no sacrifices, self-analysis or true change, and everybody can go back to what they were doing the very next day. And feel the self-righteousness of contributing to ‘progress’.
The article spoke about a recent ad issued by Hershey’s Canada ‘honouring’ International Women’s Day by featuring a trans ‘woman’. The gist of the article was that the shit (perhaps Hershey’s garbage chocolate itself?) was hitting the fan for the company due to public outcry for the slap in the face to womankind. This man was supposed to represent progress for women, in other words, and people weren’t having it. After reading the first bit, I had to stop for a moment. We’re talking about Canada, right? I can’t think of a more pro-trans country. I can’t think of a country that has done more to destroy women in the name of men in dresses. Canada censors women, destroys women’s businesses, careers and non-profits, puts rape victims at risk, allows hate speech against women, supports blatant threats of violence and rape against women by trans in publicly funded exhibits, and a whole lot more. Are Canadians finally ready to fight back against this very dangerous and violent, tiny minority of extremely powerful men? It is hard for me to believe/imagine. I’m including a link to a pdf of one of the less biased articles, as it will likely be censored in the future – we are nowhere near ‘peak trans’, alas. Many publications have painted the ‘backlash’ against Hershey’s as hate. And there are lots of sad feelz quotes by trans who think feminism and trans rightsism are compatible and are deeply disturbed that women are not supporting trans. Yes, men get disturbed when women don’t support them. Funnily enough, PinkNews claims that ‘far right’ groups are pushing back, which of course, is how TRA’s tend to brand anyone who points out reality, even in a completely apolitical way.
So I am suspicious of what is happening, knowing how Canada operates. I’ve had the displeasure of living in California, which is as close to Canadian craziness as you’re ever going to find in the US. I wrote about how Women’s History Month was met with silence on my college campus in central California a few years ago. I just can’t imagine a serious response to the trans takeover, especially in areas of life that matter. Hershey’s chocolate just isn’t that good, so it would be no real loss if they left Canada. If you risk losing your job or home because of opposition to the trans, you’ll likely say nothing and let your daughter lose opportunities and scholarships to boys as has always happened throughout history.
But there is a glimmer, I suppose, and a badly needed one. One day, trans will make a wrong move, and the camel’s back will finally break. It just won’t be chocolate that does it, I suspect.
~~~
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When A 5-Year-Old Boy Creeps You Out
Yeah, I know. I disappeared for a while. I’m not gone. It has just been a shitty past half year. Things that should normally be good have ended up being strangely stressful. Perhaps, I’ll get into it at some point. Perhaps not.
For now, it’s just a short post to check in, wish you all a better 2023, and lay some male creepiness on you. Um, sorry? I do have several things in the queue, but I couldn’t resist sharing an experience concerning a very young male that was strange and a little disturbing. I’ll admit that in the past couple of years, I’ve been morbidly fascinated by people’s willing ignorance about little boys and by the shit the boys themselves pull even at a very young age. I’ve written about innocence before, although not specifically addressing boys. I don’t find innocence to be a useful concept. I’m not religious and I don’t like how the concept is used and abused by males and brainwashed females to lift up males and destroy females. Having said that, I don’t believe any male is truly innocent or even born innocent. Males are born weaponized (nature) and then through the system they have created and that women haven’t fought hard enough against, their destructive natures blossom and wreak havoc (nurture).
Background
So, I managed to get a low-paying online EFL teaching gig, and it is a massive source of stress. But it is money, right? I am good at it, and I get some satisfaction from it, but I’ll admit, I wouldn’t be unhappy if I never had to teach again. Too much time and energy and too little pay.
So one of my students is a 5-year-old boy. His English is pretty decent for his age. When his father sits in on the class and helps out, the kid behaves, but lately, Grandma has been supervising. All hell breaks loose. Yesterday, we had an especially shitty class, and the boy didn’t like how I handled his brand of noncompliance. I probably don’t react how the other females in his life do. As I’ve mentioned before, males thrive on antagonism of women and girls and their eventual submission. It’s a game to them. Cat and mouse. Predator and prey. Yeah, I don’t respond ‘correctly’ to that kind of shit. With older males, my behaviour ’causes’ males to make death threats. With the young ones? Well, you be the judge.
After the class, the boy started sending me text messages through the teaching app. It was bizarre and disturbing and not something I would have ever expected from a 5-year-old – until I did a reality check. I know better, as do all females deep down. The attempt to dominate through threats, violence and squishy emotional manipulation starts very, very young. It must live in their DNA and become triggered by the male-female dynamics they witness in day-to-day life. Here is the set of comments he sent. I can’t make this shit up. And by the way, I didn’t respond. Not sure if there is a point to telling the parents. Breeders tend to gaslight and then protect their little angels. And the lifetime of defending their behaviour begins. I didn’t change anything in the text other than to remove identifying information. Note the insults, the threat of violence and then the fake remorse – a pattern we see in males across time and place. It’s the rule, not an exception.
I’m posting this in the Conversations with Men series.
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Sexual Assault: The Quintessence of Femalehood
We’re taught not to catastrophize. Well, I’m going to have to qualify that, as simple statements, while desirable, usually aren’t true – or are partially true, at best. So, we are generally taught not to catastrophize. But. As females, we are mindfucked from birth, so there are times when we must catastrophize and call it truth and other situations where we must erase or minimize to pretend true things are false, or are part of a non-existent conspiracy, or don’t exist at all. Objectively speaking, catastrophizing is viewing an event or situation as worse than it actually is, but as females, we learn the following. We are supposed to catastrophize minor bad things (or even just neutral things) that happen to males in order to highlight their suffering and then to pour all of our time and energy into helping them survive, overcome, live and thrive. And to serve the same ultimate purpose, we are supposed to minimize even the truly catastrophic things that happen to ourselves and to other females. We are told that shining a spotlight on the bad things that happen to women is hysterical, unfair (to males, to perpetrators), hypersensitive, delusional, insane, over-serious, vindictive, straight up lying – you name it, our truths are not what WE say they are.
It is part of the intentional system known as patriarchy, where males must be allowed to unnaturally dominate and females must suffer and serve and pretend we like it – and to support males no matter what they do to us.
The number one problem for females under patriarchy is male violence. There are many, many problems that women and girls encounter in this system, but it all stems from male violence. None of the other problems female endure can exist without male violence and the threat of male violence. If you are a self-proclaimed or aspiring feminist and you are fighting to accomplish things that won’t put an end to male violence, then you are wasting your time. That is the truth.
Most of male violence consists of sexual assault. There is, of course, physical violence and emotional/psychological violence, but sexual violence is the cornerstone of patriarchy. It is something males do to females simply because they are female. It is a source of control and domination, as males seem to be extremely threatened by women, but also a source of enjoyment for males. Sexual assault is about BOTH power/control and sadistic pleasure, despite what liberal feminists say. Now, females typically don’t engage in this kind of behaviour towards males. Females can be violent towards males and especially towards females, but taking pleasure in sexual violence against anyone really isn’t a thing for the vast majority of women. And an aberration here or there does not negate this rule. Women certainly have never dominated the world or any documented society where males exist through sexual violence or any other means, for that matter. Oh and for the record, despite the desperation of equality feminists to assert it exists, there is no proof anywhere that females have existed in peaceful, equal bliss with males. If males exist in a society, there is sexual assault against females. We know it. We see it. That, we can prove. And I can’t imagine it being otherwise as there is no tangible evidence to suggest it is even possible. And women have tried. Oh, have they tried. But trying to ‘educate’ males out of raping and assaulting us is a futile pursuit.
So, despite a worldwide and millennia-long history of sexual assault against females by males, we still can’t really agree on what it is. Women and girls, for much of history, and still today, have had few to no rights compared to males. We don’t yet have full body-autonomy. We still are not allowed to say ‘no’. Our bodies are used against us in so many ways. Most of us, whether conservative or liberal, still buy into our male-defined slave categories, while trying to pass them off as duty, liberation, or some other such nonsense. If you can’t acknowledge reality, then you don’t really get anywhere in defining crimes against female bodies, nevermind prove that a crime has happened. I’m not even sure that we can define sex crimes against women as we a) still rely upon legal systems where men define the crimes they commit against us, and b) all of the crimes that fall in this category are completely dependent on the presence or absence of ‘consent’, which is a massively problematic concept. Consent is such a flimsy thing. It’s not tangible. It’s kind of a tree falling in the forest kind of scenario coupled with a serious vulnerability to manipulation, use of substances, coercion, post-assault threats, desperate circumstances and more. How can you prove consent, in other words, especially when it can be so fleeting and manipulatable and entirely defined by men?
Myself, I take out consent and ‘legal’ aspects of the definition of sexual assault. I consider the burden of proof to be upon the male, not the female. I think females should exist in a default state of ‘no‘. And assault should include the entire range of things males do to females from ogling and catcalling, to sexual touching/contact to outright rape (another crime that people have trouble defining, apparently). Oh no! Am I taking the spontenaity and fun out of heterosexual ‘play’ between males and females? Tough shit. What would be the more serious problem: out of control fear of and actual sexual assault (the current state of things) or males not being allowed to do whatever the fuck they want coupled with loser females’ feelings of being ignored and unmastered by potential manly men? I want women and girls to feel and be safe, first and foremost. This is what we call ‘human rights’. Feelings of deservedness are not human rights. I think these feelings wouldn’t exist if we didn’t brainwash girls into being completely dependent on having their very identities validated by misogynistic male attention. As it is, in the system that we have, girls figure out who they are because of the cumulative psychic weight (trauma) of the sexual assaults that make up their personal herstory. We are wrapped in our own – and our foremothers, through DNA inheritance – tapestries of sexual assault.
Apparently I’m Still Female
So anyway, three days ago, I was reminded that I was female. I was sexually assaulted. Again. For the hundredth? Thousandth? Millionth time? It is impossible to keep track of how many sexual assaults a female experiences in her lifetime – as mentioned above, partly because there are so many occurrences, partly because sexual assault is so poorly defined, partly because it is a female experience and thus is not taken seriously even when it is acknowledged that we were assaulted, partly because it starts before we are able to recall memory of our sexual assaults, and partly because we are generally not allowed to see what we experience as sexual assault. To do so would be to catastrophize. Or in plain and real English: to do so would be to tell the truth.
Three days ago, I finally moved into a real live apartment for the first time in over 3 years. It was momentous. I’ve spent so much of my life as one of the ‘hidden homeless’. My new landlord was going to pick me up and bring me to the apartment to give me the key and note all the things that needed to be fixed. I arrived at the meeting spot early – still light out, early evening, busy streets – and it started to rain hard. Luckily, it was a bus stop with a shelter. A construction crew stopped nearby and some of the guys got out to take care of a road issue. One of the guys came over to talk to me. I didn’t speak his language, and he couldn’t speak English, but it was clear that he wanted my phone number. I said ‘no’ repeatedly in the local language, and it was met with a laugh and ‘okay, okay’. And it started again. And then again. And again. Still pouring rain, and my landlord was supposed to arive in a car at any moment. Then all of the sudden, the man’s arms came up and he came at me, grabbed me and tried to kiss me. I went rigid and turned my head, with the kiss landing on my ear. It was puzzling and horrifying. I’m 50 goddamned years old and I look 50. I assumed this shit would die down. But even to a grown ass woman, no still doesn’t mean no. Luckily, the construction crew came back and off they went. Broad daylight… ffs.
Now the aftermath was weird. I knew I had been assaulted, but some old patterns from my early brainwashing kicked in, unexpectedly. I talked to my good friend in China later that evening, and it was she who brought me to my senses. I was sexually assaulted, she said, correctly. My mind had automatically labelled it a ‘fucked up experience’. I was reminded that even a female separatist who has been hating men officially for years for the rampant sexual assault forced upon sex class, woman, still second guesses herself and hesitates to label her experience correctly when she is inevitably sexually assaulted. And I was reminded of several other things. The assault reminded me that your age doesn’t matter. What you look like doesn’t matter. The time of day or location doesn’t matter. It reminded me that all women are damaged and even when you start on the path to recovering from heterosexual and patriarchal brainwashing, it may take you a lifetime to heal. It struck me that I will likely die still trying to heal. It also brought home that it is so important to have clear-thinking female friends with whom to speak frankly about our suffering and experiences because as recovering women, we can fall into self-harming patterns – the endless self-doubt and questioning about what is real. Our friends keep us on the path of truth and recovery. We must help each other with this. Most of us just don’t have it, or enough of it. Most of us just have people who gaslight us and tell us we are catastrophizing. We have a victim mindset.
Conclusion:
I’ve come to see sexual assault as the quintessence of constructed womanhood and girlhood. I think ALL females are sexually assaulted at least once in their lives, and most of us, thousands of times. The stats are BULLSHIT. We are taught to accept our assaults as part of life, part of womanhood. So we say nothing. Males need us to base our identities on being assaulted, to normalize assault, so that it isn’t assault, but identity. Life. Then we can’t and don’t even bother to try to separate sexual assault from who we are or who we could be. It is hard for me to imagine a life where I don’t feel threatened or fearful and where I am not regularly assaulted by males. I do know that I am likely one of very few women who thinks about sexual assault and how it limits my life, how it has destroyed huge parts of my spirit, and put me in a sort of psychological cage. And no lib-fems, I am not ‘allowing’ it to control me or labelling myself as a victim. I am stating a truth – I would be a different person if sexual assault weren’t a significant part of my life history. And I dare say you would be too, even if you don’t acknowledge (or even recognize/realize) what has happened to each and every one of you. You don’t have to identify as a victim (I cringe at those words) to acknowledge a lifetime of assaults and how they have impacted you. Stating truths, acknowledging reality is not catastrophizing. It may be one of the bravest acts you can commit to as a regular, average woman or girl living a regular, average life.
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N is for ‘No’
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Indulge me for a moment, if you will. Think about language, your native language and other languages that you function in. Think about individual words, specifically. If you could choose a word that is more important to you than any other, or falls within the top 10 important words in your life, what would it be? In choosing this word, consider those that give you a sense of or even actual freedom, safety, choices, closure, boundaries – anything that makes your life better. There is no right or wrong answer here; in fact, this may be something you’ve never thought about before. It’s not something we are ever asked to consider, as females. It’s selfish, you see. And if you are female, this might be an extremely difficult exercise simply because we seldom have control over the important things in our lives, especially the things that define and control us, namely language. We are also seldom asked our preferences or opinions on things that matter. Control over language and how the world works is the domain of men. As our creators -and I mean creators of the boxes we live in – they have always known us better than we know ourselves. At least they tell us that. It must be true. They define the experiences we are allowed to have, the crimes committed against our bodies, and what we are allowed to do, think and say as females.
Today, I’m going to consider an extremely important word, a word that is more important for females than it is for males, as we generally aren’t allowed to use it — without consequences. The result of using this word can range from simply being ignored, as if we didn’t say anything at all; to being misinterpreted, as if what we said was somehow different than what we really meant; to inspiring rage and violence in the person at whom the word was directed, as if by speaking our true minds and believing we are allowed to have boundaries, we are intending to harm others. It is truly bizarre and frightening, and it is a sex-specific phenomenon, meaning that males don’t experience it. It also has interesting sex-by-race effects and sex-by-trans effects that will be discussed below.
So, today, N is for No.
I think women don’t realize just how little they matter, and how little their opinions and speech matter. To men, but also to the women who serve men without question. Our erasure is so constant and normalized that we just don’t notice how often we must repeat ourselves, how often we give in to something we don’t want despite having expressed our opinion, and how often we decide to censor ourselves because subconsciously, after years of abuse and erasure, we know that what we say won’t matter or will lead to violence. But you have to wonder. Why is so much effort put into putting women in their place if they don’t matter?
Let’s look at some common scenarios. All females have experienced these many times, although most may not realize how often. As a regular reader of this blog, you are probably quite aware of how much power your ‘no’ has in this world.
Ignored
Women and girls are ignored all the time, but as ‘no’ is a very important word, this is a serious problem. As children, we are forced to endure touching, pinching and kissing from relatives and random strangers marvelling at how cute we are – even when we say ‘no’, or use body language that demonstrates ‘no’. It continues on through school. So many of us are bullied – it’s not oppression; kids are assholes, generally speaking – but for girls, sometimes the bullying can go on to become sexual abuse where we learn that it is pointless to say ‘no’ because nobody cares or pays attention. And on the rare occasion that a girl reports her abuse, she is usually ignored, or written off as an attention seeker or a liar. In adulthood, we are passed over for opportunities and promotions. We are ignored in meetings, and some of us wonder if school bullying was just preparation for the sex-specific degradation, harassment and sometimes terrorism of the workplace. We learn that saying ‘no’ has no impact. The workplace likes the ‘yes-girl’. The only way to get attention is to laugh at the rape jokes, the gay/lesbian jokes, and to pretend everything is great. The quickest way to fall off the radar as a serious employee is to say ‘no’ to what is going on.
Heterosexuality depends on women’s needs being ignored. We talk endlessly about compromise, but as many of us come to realize, men have defined compromise to mean: women sacrifice (i.e., shut the fuck up and submit) and men are catered to. Having had several, what I consider to be ‘normal’, relationships with men in my long-gone bisexual days, I realize, looking back, that my needs meant nothing. I don’t think I even knew what my needs were, as I was well trained to cater to males, see my needs as ‘selfish’, and ridiculously, to call it ‘equality’. If I did express myself, it was ignored or written off.
Deliberately Misinterpreted
When I was a teenager, there was an article in our local newspaper featuring a black and white photo of a couple of male university students at a hockey game holding up a hand-painted cloth banner that read “NO MEANS YES!!!” This was 1980’s-1990’s rape culture at its best. It wasn’t really anything new in the minds of males, but at this point in history, it had become a new ‘women’s issue’. But the males from the photo didn’t get in trouble or anything. Why would they? Men and boys have been raping women and girls with impunity and bragging about it since time began. Who cares? But it was an interesting, but simple, insight into male psychology and how they make rape okay in their minds.
There is this strange belief that men have and that men have been writing about for ages under the guise of ‘literature’ and ‘science’ that women secretly/actually want to be raped. Oops sorry, not raped – because that implies a lack of consent under male definition of their crime against our bodies. Men believe that women want to fuck. They want to be fucked violently. They want to be taken in animal-fashion and treated like shit. Women like to be hit and called all sorts of horrible things. We get turned on by this stuff. But to express these deep wishes goes against morality or something like that. So we have to say ‘no’. But see, when we say ‘no’, we really mean ‘yes’. We don’t want to say ‘no’, but we have to. So it is up to males to take the upper hand and see through our psychological games and just force us… I mean ‘help’ us to get what we truly want.
But do they really believe that, or is it just another bullshit male attempt to put the responsibility for their crimes on their victims? Some women have been convinced by these male arguments – convinced through faulty logic, gaslighting, and prude-shaming, rather than slut-shaming – and these women have become the sluts of the liberal feminism movement, which I’ll discuss below.
The whole ‘no means yes’ deliberate misinterpretation happens ALL the time for women. Whereas males need only say something once, and they are taken at their word, even when the word is ‘no’, females constantly have to repeat themselves to have a slight chance of being heard. I always have a sardonic chuckle when misogynists drag out that standard male reversal about women being ‘nags’. I would argue that men nag infinitely more than women, especially about sex and other self-serving wants and especially when a woman says ‘no’ to them. It is the basis of what I have termed ‘consensual rape’ – which is, at its most basic definition, the manipulation of a woman into saying ‘yes’ to penetrative sex that she doesn’t want. The ‘yes’ can be obtained through many means, including the deliberate misinterpretation of her initial ‘no’ (or multiple ‘no’s’) and protracted nagging, guilting and shaming.
‘Causing’ Violence
The first two reactions to a woman’s ‘no’ are bad, but this third category is very serious business. Men don’t understand and often make fun of female risk-aversion. They don’t understand female timidity in speaking up or acting out. In general, male speech is not met with violence or the opposition that the most innocuous of female speech and behaviours are frequently met with. I’ve described in other posts where males have reacted to my facial expression and/or my tone of voice with death threats and other threats to my safety. You see, I made them threaten me. I made them hurt me. All my fault.
Saying ‘no’ to males, and even some females, can incite riots, rapes, and murders. Not hyperbole, folks. I guarantee you that you know at least one woman who has been harmed after saying ‘no’ to a man. Not just no to sex – it can be absolutely anything. Men react poorly to female clerks in service businesses, to waitresses, to female flight attendants, and any female who cannot provide him with what he believes he is owed. And if a man pays money, it is so much worse. If he has laid out money, he believes a woman does not have the right to say ‘no’ to him. You see this with prostitutes, especially, but you can see evidence of this in any environment or industry. Men are much less likely to react violently to male workers. I believe this is partly the in-built woman-hate that all males have, and partly knowing that attacking a male can be dangerous. Women generally a) won’t fight back, b) physically can’t fight back as the playing field is not fair, and c) aren’t protected under law like men, the religious and racial minorities are.
Many women know all of this on a subconscious level and will self-censor or submit as a result. We see female workers frequently treating male customers better than females. This is in part because we know that males are volatile, and predictably unpredictable, and we have learned to submit to them and treat them with kid gloves, as governments won’t do the logical thing and exert controls over male behaviour. There are other factors that play into treating males better than females, but male irrationality, emotionality, violence, and poor self-control are the main reasons male customers are treated better and are less likely to meet with ‘no’, especially by female workers.
Further, within heterosexual relationships, many women learn that denying their partner can lead to violence. Saying ‘no’ can get you beaten, raped or killed. Long ago, in my bisexual days, that kind of shit sent me out the door faster than exposure to a bad odour, but many women trauma-bond with violent men, and then make increasingly bad decisions, including putting themselves in financial bondage to them and breeding with them. They learn to live with the violence and self-censorship, in other words.
Intersection
a) Sex x Race Intersection
I am NOT an intersectional feminist. It’s not that I don’t believe in interactional effects – if you knew the details of my educational background, you’d realize just how laughable it is to suggest that I am intersection-blind. I just think that intersection is derailing to feminism as it creates oppression olympics and blame hierarchies, and denies some women the right to be heard and to have boundaries. I’m going to highlight an example of intersectional misogyny that has been censored. I don’t centre it in my feminism, of course, but I do talk about it because it is an incredibly taboo topic.
If you are a white woman in a Western country, you will be very aware that you have to be nice and submissive and helpful to everyone. Otherwise, you are a bitch, rich, privileged – probably also a white supremacist, all kinds of evil. Many white women take this liberal-promulgated scapegoating to heart, feeling guilty for everything, and even virtue-signalling constantly and publicly to prove how repentant and unevil they are. It just makes things worse. As a result, white women are not allowed to say ‘no’, especially to people who are not white, and even writing or speaking about one’s own true and personal Twilight-Zone-esque, mind-fucking and degrading experiences of racist misogyny is called out as racist and is conveniently censored in order to maintain the perfect scapegoat. Note that white men do not experience this denial of the right to say ‘no’ and are 100% allowed to have boundaries. And women in Western cultures who are not white do not experience this either, at least to the same extent.
During the first 6 months I lived in the US when I was 24 – before Canada took liberal American social justice warrorism to heart – I had my first of many, many experiences with this kind of victimization: the denial of my right to say ‘no’ because of my sex AND race. I was an impoverished, foreign grad student teaching at a university catering to mostly wealthy undergrads and big-league athletic hopefuls. My first experience was with a black female student of mine who showed up unannounced at my office just as I was leaving for a meeting. She demanded that I see her then and there – outside my office hours and without an appointment. Pure entitlement. I said I couldn’t. But before letting me finish, she launched a high-volume, abusive tirade, the content of which I can barely remember as I wasn’t used to Angry Black Women that early in my stay in the US. As a woman from a race that is NOT allowed to say ‘no’, have boundaries or opinions, or even get angry without being slurred and shamed into oblivion, I actually believe this woman’s display and treatment of me was an act of privilege. After three more decades and a shit ton more of experiences like this one, I’ve come to understand that the privilege to get angry, even over nothing, is a black privilege, and of course, a white male privilege. I WISH I were allowed to express even half the anger that blacks and white males are allowed… Anyhow, if this racist misogynist woman had waited two seconds instead of immediately denying me my right to have boundaries and the right to say ‘no’, she would have been offered the chance to make an appointment with me. And you know what? I still gave her an appointment after I had to waste time calming her down, and I never did receive an apology.
b) Sex x Trans Intersection
I have almost exclusively interacted with females who identify as trans, and they are generally harmless as women generally are. Although I have always made sure to keep things light in the conversation department, as crazy ideologies can inspire violence and who knows if these chicks are on testosterone, which fucks with the brain and increases aggression. I have been in proximity to males who think they are women, and as a rule, I stay the hell away from them. They are generally mentally unstable, incredibly entitled as males and as self-appointed Oppressedest People Ever TM and in doing female parody, show themselves to be incredible woman-haters on par with men’s rights activists. Dangerous combination. We’ve seen the damage they do to women, especially to lesbians and feminists, however. Women are NOT allowed to say ‘no’, to have boundaries, to speak biological and scientific truths in public spaces, to speak truth about trans crimes against women, and lesbians are not allowed to say ‘no’ to sex with these men without being called murderers and bigots. I’m waiting for the day they are rightly seen as domestic terrorists. It is what they are.
Adventures in Cultural No-ness
I’ve said it before, and I’ll likely write a whole post devoted to it sometime later, I believe culture is just the set of traditions and rules governing how misogyny manifests in a socially acceptable way in a particular part of the world at a particular time. Culture is the stuff of both fantasy and religion-like obsession. It is protected and untouchable – unless it is Western culture, that is. It is the stuff of nationalism and army-building. But really, culture is bullshit. It is just local, socially-accepted woman-hate rituals and traditions at its very core. Think about it some, and you’ll find that all the quaint things you discover about foreign cultures all trace back to the control of women and girls. Modern uses of the word culture (company culture, sub-culture, counter-culture, etc.) still describe rules and traditions governing a group, but do not quite have the same sacrosanct importance that standard usages hold.
I’ve lived, studied, worked and travelled around the world, and I’ve seen and experienced a lot of fucked up shit all rooted in culture and misogyny! Let’s explore a few cultural curios with regard to culture, language and the use or non-use of ‘no’.
a) Sluts Can’t Say ‘No’ – New Depths in Western Misogyny
I get so tired of liberal, usually, but not exclusively, white feminists talk about how much better it is for women in Western countries. I disagree. As I said, culture is the manifestation of misogyny in a particular time and place. It changes over time, but it never, ever goes away. Unfortunately, the changes tend to confuse people, as change is a word that is so often mistakenly conflated with ‘improvement’. So in Western cultures, women have been hoodwinked into thinking that things are so much better. But are they? Things have been sliding backwards over the past few decades in the US (and leaking into other Western countries). I think things are worse in the West than they have been in a long time.
In an earlier section, I referred to today’s Western slut-feminists. It’s hard for me to put those two words together, but honest to goodness, there are women who believe that fucking as many men as they want is an act of feminist liberation. I met one in Canada two years ago. I think I wrote about her before; the poor thing was so confused that she was dating a man whom she met on some app, and he was ignoring all her ‘no’s’ to his sexual advances. At this writing, I have no doubt that she has been date raped, and she has probably reframed the event as a slutty, feminist success rather than truthfully as consensual rape.
When women say ‘no’ and a man keeps pushing and pushing and guilting and shaming and nagging that woman until he breaks her down, she gets tired, annoyed, or confused, that is rape. He will make sure that she remains confused afterwards, or even better, that he can convince her that she wanted it. And Western women and girls are falling for this. This is one of the pillars of liberal feminism. Saying ‘yes’, even if you start by saying ‘no’, or you are feeling ‘no’ inside but are too ashamed of or worried about looking like a loser or a prude by actually saying ‘no’, is liberation. Saying ‘yes’ is liberation. Even if you don’t want it. Even if you are worried about getting pregnant. Even if you are worried about contracting one of the male sexual diseases. Even if you end up hurt because it doesn’t end up just being penetrative sex, but a nightmare out of porn or the BDSM handbook.
But you can’t rape a slut. And that is what this is all about. It is male liberation, not feminism. You cannot rape a woman who says ‘yes’. And guess what, the oppressed women in Afghanistan and whatever favourite African nation you like to cite are not clamouring for this kind of female freedom…
b) The Country of No ‘No’
I’ve alluded to this before – there is no single, specific word for ‘no’ in Mandarin Chinese. I lived in Taiwan and China for many years and found this quite curious and frustrating. In addition, there is no single word for ‘yes’. ‘No’ ends up being more like ‘don’t want’, ‘don’t have’, ‘is not’, etc. You basically take the verb in question and put a negative in front of it. I found it much less impactful than a single word that you can use in any situation. But of course, as a woman, does ‘no’ really have much impact at all? I think, like in any country, it comes down to your anatomy. The language is developed around your anatomy, and language is inherently sexist as men control it. And the anatomy of the person using a particular word is more important than the word itself. So what passes for ‘no’ in Chinese has about as much impact used by a woman as it does in any country when a woman speaks her ‘no’ in her language.
c) The Country of the Impolitic ‘No’
I won’t say too much about this, as my experience is less with the country than with my relationships with people from the country. And that country is Japan. I dated a Japanese for a few years, and what I gathered from stories and interactions is that while there is an explicit, single word for ‘no’ in Japanese, it is impolite to come right out and say ‘no’. When dealing with the Japanese, they seem to be agreeing or saying yes to you, and at first you are amazed at how easy they are to get along with, but quickly, you come to realize that a game is being played and you do NOT know the rules. Japan has a very complex and confusing culture, and while seeming courteous on the surface, interactions end up feeling rather duplicitous and insane to an outsider who prefers a more direct and honest and time-conserving way of dealing with people. And conversely, they may tend to see outsiders as crude and rude. The Japanese I have known who refuse to live there tend to be social outcasts who can’t stand the hierarchy and intense social pressure to conform and kiss asses they don’t actually respect. And with all the brutal and cruel television game shows they have as well as the disgusting cartoon rape porn, you have to wonder what the fuck is going on there.
I like origami and Japanese food and the sense of esthetics that you don’t see in any other country or culture, but you couldn’t pay me enough to live in Japan. Nevermind the earthquakes and nuclear contamination…
d) The Country of Double ‘No’
I am currently living in an ex-Soviet country where not only do they have a single, explicit word for ‘no’ in their local language, but they use it constantly AND they almost always say it twice instead of once. I’m serious. I am learning a bit of the language so that I can function, and no matter where I go, I hear ‘no, no’. And I hear ‘no’ much more than I hear ‘yes’. And they have 3 commonly used words for ‘yes’ and I recognize them easily in conversation. I wish I knew enough of the language to know what they are talking about and saying ‘no’ to though. Why do they say ‘no’ so much??? I’ve never encountered this in any of the other languages I speak or cultures I’ve spent time in.
I have little experience with Russia or Eastern Europe, so I don’t know if this is part of what seems to an outsider to be a rather gruff and abrasive set of cultures. I worked with a bunch of Russians in 2021, and although they weren’t super friendly, I seldom heard the word ‘нет’ to the extent that I hear the word for ‘no’ here in this particular place where I am, so there is something going on that I don’t yet understand. More exploration is needed. But it is nothing like any Asian culture I have experienced, and the cultural rules are very different with religion being a heavy influence.
Okay, I’m starting to veer off the path, and that means that I need to end this post. But I want to leave you with the following thought:
Language is important. It is inseparable from culture. As a woman, you have no control over such an important tool for your survival. Think about the words you use and the effects they have on your ability to get what you need to stay alive and safe. Are you allowed to say ‘no’, how many times do you have to say it to be heard, and are there repercussions for defining your boundaries? The purpose of language is to get what you need, but men control language. What does that mean for women? For you? And finally, think about why men and their female supporters put so much effort into making sure women’s words aren’t heard. Perhaps, we matter more than we’ve been led to believe…
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M is for Mother
I’ve been avoiding finishing what has been a partially-written post for months, but I’ve been inspired to action thanks to an unsolicited advertisement reminding me to worship at the feet of the most sacrosanct patriarchy-perpetuating, girl-destroying women on the planet: mothers. In addition, I really want to cut this albatross loose, so today is the day I finish and publish. Plus, I really want to move on to some juicy P is for ___ posts in this Alphabet series. So, let’s get started.
Today, there is a small set of taboo topics that is considered ‘dangerous’ – so dangerous that bad things can and do happen to the speaker or writer. The topics in question concern realities – truths, if you will – both subjective and objective, both relevant. Highly observable and measurable, hard to deny, and universal across time and place. What, pray tell, are these dangerous topics? Unsurprisingly, they are those concerning women’s status as human beings and the role males play in preventing and/or controlling that status. When these topics are talked about honestly – and they seldom are as it is dangerous to do so – shit gets real very quickly. Males get scared and angry and aggressive for being named correctly as the predator class. The males issue threats and commit actual violence, and they rally support for the male sex class, often painting themselves as victims. As well, many females get scared and angry and defensive on behalf of males, but also themselves as enablers who keep the shit show going. Females issue verbal threats against female truth-tellers and provide unanimous support for whatever male violence ensues.
Much of what drives these illogical female reactions is that women are not supposed to speak about their reality unless they are parotting the male version of female reality. Women’s reality is what men say it is, and even then, women are not supposed to talk about it publicly, at least in an analytical or critical way. So when a female person decides to speak publicly about female reality in a ‘no bullshit’ or even slightly critical way, you are almost always hearing about information that has been, throughout history, censored, erased and denied. And the speaker and the information will be attacked relentlessly, with attempts made at further censorship, erasure, threats of violence and other (social, political, economic) punishment, real violence, outright denial and various means of discreditation and silencing, such as ‘crazifying’, making false accusations of some -ism or -phobia, and application of bullshit lables such as ‘fundamentalist’ or ‘man-hater’, etc. Only females as a class experience this, and the attacks are always gang bangs with a lot of fellow females joining in to quell their cognitive dissonance and to keep socially and financially benefiting from staying on the path of least resistance (aka sucking dick, literally or figuratively).
Also note that the more important the subject matter is to upholding patriarchy, the more dangerous it is to talk about it. My post today addresses one of these taboo topics and is probably one of the most ‘dangerous’ a woman can address. Its official title is Aiding and Abetting, but as I am including this as part of the Alphabet Series, it gets a second special title:
M is for Mother
Lest anyone start reading this and then deliberately miss the point by focusing on an imagined ‘tone’ problem – something that ALL women who talk about ‘dangerous’ topics are accused of (in addition to being crazy or bitter or ‘phobic’ or hairy man-hating dykes or prudes or fundies, etc.) – I’m going to state right here that there is no sarcasm going on. This isn’t an ‘attack’. There is no intended sneering, no condescending tone. It is straight talk. There may be positing or hypothesizing here and there, but this is not satire or parody or fun-poking or whatever genre of writing you want to explain it away as. It’s just an un-sugar-coated description of how things work. Note that the point of this post is not to blame mothers for all the problems in the world, which is how many readers might wish to interpret this. It is a critique of the system and the role or archetype of Mother that arises from that system that are so crucial to keeping men in a position of power and to keeping women and girls utterly destroyed inside and thus, controllable. It is also a criticism of how thoroughly women have embraced their subservient role and of the role they DO play in making sure our daughters stay shackled and victimized and accepting it without serious resistance. After men, mothers are the next biggest whiners about martyrdom and victimization and their unsung heroism of toeing the party line, so deliberate misinterpretation of what I say is expected.
Now, I don’t for a second believe that women cause the majority of the world’s problems – seriously, why the hell would women ever devise a system that oppresses and dehumanizes them??? – BUT they do allow problems to continue in various ways, and critique and criticism are therefore warranted and necessary. But, men are the problem and the chief beneficiaries of the system they run and the roles that come out of that system, period. This post, however, is neither about men nor about biological motherhood, but about the male-created role or archetype of Mother that women both willingly and unwillingly take on and groom their daughters for, and how these women, as a result, keep the cycle of female oppression in place and never-ending. The whole point of creating boxes for women and girls to live in is to control their behaviour, to ensure that this behaviour supports and perpetuates male freedom to control and brutalize, and to make it impossible for women and girls to discover their own true freedom and selves.
Also note that I’m not writing this preamble to apologize in advance – something ALL women are not only required to do when they speak publicly, especially about taboo topics, but are criticized for doing by those self-appointed analysts/critics of women’s ‘inferior’ speech tendencies. I apologize for nothing. Speaking about reality is not akin to doing something wrong – again, something all girls grow up learning in order to keep them silent and compliant as adults. So, if you start reading this and you find you can’t handle it, here is my suggestion. Move on. Go watch a cat video. Go suck a dick. Just don’t stay here and dare to think deeply about this timeless, universal and highly problematic issue. (Okay, there was a little sarcasm there, but it ends here.)
So, what was I saying? Oh yes, M is for Mother.
This truly is a massive topic, but I’m only going to cover the bits that are relevant to my thinking at this point in time and try to break this thinking down into the following categories that make it easier for your to follow.
- Motherhood: A Relationship, Not a Job
- The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Mother)
- Welcome to Shit Mountain: The Woman Hierarchy
- Martyrdom: The Blame Game vs. Responsibility
- Boy-Moms
- Mommy Dearest: Narcissistic Mothers
- The Future of Humanity: Redefining Motherhood
1. Motherhood: A Relationship, Not a Job
One of the major complaints that is getting more and more play among mothers these days is that motherhood is a ‘job’ and compensation should absolutely be required for said ‘job’. I find the whole discussion bizarre, to be honest, and for a few reasons. I want to comment on a) compensation and b) what ‘job’ means. I also want to discuss choice briefly.
a) First, by and large, mothers ARE compensated for being mothers. If you go the housewife/mother route, and you enter the heterosexual contract, then this is what you have agreed to: you exchange your domestic services, including childrearing, cleaning, cooking, and male ego-building, as well as lifelong access to your cunt for a home, food, clothing, entertainment and spending money, as well as protection services. I have never worked a job where I get accommodation, food, clothing, spending money and safety. If you are a mother and you are not getting these things, then you fucked up. You don’t have an understanding of the hetero contract and you fucked up. Sorry.
I would not have survived financially if I had not had a child.
Private conversation with a single mother in Canada (May, 2021) where she told me that her child was, essentially, her ‘meal ticket’ and her protection. She got subsidized housing, more nourishing food, financial assistance, and more – simply for being a single mother. For women, motherhood is the fastest and easiest way to stay alive. And men designed it to be this way.
There are also some societies – Canada is one of them – that will provide various compensation to mothers for doing nothing other than popping out a kid. The quote above comes from a much longer conversation I had with a single mother in Canada last year. I was stunned at everything she was given and that she had access to. She, of course, commented at how unfair it was to men that she got better quality food than everyone else, but she couldn’t see that the single, childless women living in poverty were the most vulnerable. During that same time period, I also briefly lived with a social worker who told me stories of lone women living in homeless ‘hotels’ run by the government where they would wake up in their beds mid-rape after homeless men had targeted them and broken into their rooms. Safe, subsidized housing NEVER goes to these ultra-vulnerable women. Sometimes, they end up in shelters with predatory trannies pretending to be women, as well.
b) It is a little off-putting when mothers see their role as a job. There are several things that distinguish motherhood from an actual job. First, for such a ‘skilled’ and life-or-death ‘job’, there are absolutely no standards required for candidates. Literally anyone can breed. There are no qualifications needed, no intelligence or skills required. No social skills. No references are demanded. No experience. No proof of competence. As a teacher, I’ve had to do multiple RCMP, fingerprinted criminal record checks to prove I’m not a child rapist or abuser. Mothers? Nope. Never. You also can’t be fired from being a mother. Very few children are ever taken from abusive mothers, especially the kinds of abuse that are just commonplace or that don’t involve broken bones. You can destroy a child from the inside out over the course of your lifetime, and never lose your ‘job’.
c) Finally, and on a related note, motherhood is a choice. In most parts of the world, and increasingly so in more and more places, there is no gun to a woman’s head. Women are allowed to earn their own money, even in strict, religious countries. Unlike jobs, motherhood is not required for survival, but it is certainly the easiest route to survival for a female if you don’t want to have to compete and suffer and truly work hard in the real world. Motherhood is a choice, it is a relationship, and it is a privilege that raises your status in society (among women). You bring a creature into the world without their consent, which means this is a completely selfish act. Acting like the child is forcing you to care for them is pure delusion, although this is a common way of thinking in places like China, where parents regularly make their children feel guilty for existing and taking up family resources.
2. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Mother)
Only if you define and break down the role of Mother in the patriarchal sense, can you understand why there are so many problems for women. Mothers complain endlessly that they are held up to impossible standards or that they are blamed for everything in society where children are concerned. Note that they don’t see breeding and serving men as the root of the problem, and if you can’t see the root of a problem, that problem can never be solved. When we talk of motherhood, we are not talking about biological motherhood, we are referring to the role or archetype that has been created as a category for women. Social categories or archetypes for women are lose-lose situations. No woman ever truly wins in a society where she doesn’t have the freedom to be fully human. When men define our roles, it is not for our benefit, even when they paint it as such. Let’s look at what being a ‘Good Mother means in male-dominated society.
You know we live in a male-controlled society because the expectations for men are much lower in all possible senses, if expectations or standards exist at all. Being a ‘Good Father’ is almost meaningless. At most, it means having a paying a job so that his property can eat. Fathers don’t have to talk to the kids, spend time with them, help them, nurture them, teach them, cook for them, or anything requiring time and attention. They just have to pay the bills. I’ve seldom seen men deemed ‘Bad Fathers’, even when they run out on the family, don’t provide money, or even abuse the children or wife/whore. But I’m not criticizing this as it’s pointless and a common pastime of hetero breeder women who aren’t really interested in fighting to change a shitty system. And this system has been in place since marriage was invented by men. To be a Good Mother, you have to possess a whole host of supposedly innate female characteristics and skills, including nurturing, cleaning, cooking, empathizing, worrying, nagging, being sweet, self-sacrificing, mamma-bear-fighting, advice-giving, being omniscient, forgiving. And I could go on. The thing is that if you list the entire host of skills and characteristics that make up a Good Mother, you’ll find a lot of contradictory stuff. And a lot of the characteristics and behaviours that Good Mothers are supposed to exhibit are exalted one minute and then criticized or made fun of the next minute. It’s designed that way for a very specific reason. Male dominance is about keeping women off-balance and insecure, always faced with catch-22’s and constantly questioning whether they are measuring up to impossible or contradictory standards.
Reality: if you get past the long and strange list of what mothers are supposed to be, there really are only a few requirements. a) Good Mothers breed sons and ensure they are made well aware of their male privilege from Day 1 (to be discussed more in the section on Boy-Moms), and b) Good Mothers break down their daughters psychologically and groom them to accept eventual heterosexual victimhood as rape-slaves (wives) and mothers. Bad mothers produce gay sons, or even worse, lesbians or asexual daughters who decide not to breed. No mother wants her daughter to hate men and she certainly won’t teach her daughter about rape and how self-respect and serving males don’t go together. (Delve more into the destruction of girls in G is for Girl.)
3. Welcome to Shit Mountain: The Woman Hierarchy
In our patriarchal world, hierarchy exists. Males are very much about domination, and you should hold suspect any male who claims he is an ‘equalist’ or any kind of communist, socialist or feminist. Men, despite what they say, don’t believe in equality between the sexes. They may believe that males can be equal or at least have the ability to rise above their station, but if you have the skill to really pin a man down with regard to what he truly believes, you’ll find that every one of them has caveats and conditions that prevent females from attaining and deserving the very freedoms he believes he, as a male, is entitled to. So, males and females exist on separate planes. I’m going to describe them in the following way. Men exist on a ladder. They can rise above their station, and they can also fall. Their hierarchy is based primarily on wealth/ownership. In the distant past, physical strength may have been more important in attaining power, but in these modern times, this is not the case at all. Power is all about ownership.
It is a different scene for females.
Picture, if you will, a massive shit heap. It stinks, it begs cleaning, but cleaning doesn’t work, the shit is not just stuff to clean, but also physical and sexual danger as well as poverty, and the contributors to the pile are mainly those who oppress you – males, whose ladder hangs above you out of reach – or women who are benefitting from the oppressor class slightly more than you are. All women live on the shit heap – a hierarchy that is based almost exclusively on sex – or in other words, how you use your vagina and uterus. The easiest way to climb shit mountain is to sell your vagina to a wealthy male and to pop out some kids. The air is a little fresher near the top, you are safer with more money, and you can shit on women beneath you and feel smug about it. The surest way to the bottom, where eventually you will realize you cannot move up at all (given that sex is tied to age for women) is a) not to have kids, and b) not to let men rape you with your consent (aka you’re a lez or asexual) in exchange for protection, a home and more buying power.
It should also be noted that those lower on the hierarchy always do more to support those above them, especially those who hurt them. Interestingly, we are always told the opposite. Rich males somehow provide jobs to those lower down. But think of this. Who pays for all the male criminals in prison, keeping rapists alive so they can go out and rape again? Women’s tax dollars go into keeping alive the men who instill fear in them. All men benefit from rape – men who don’t rape indiscriminantly are ‘good men’ and can also offer their protection racket to women who fear being raped, for example – so their tax dollars are an investment. Further, there is a disproportionate, and unreciprocated, amount of lesbian labour, threats to safety, and money put into heterosexual and breeding women’s issues, such as birth control, abortion, domestic violence shelters and more – issues that are seldom, if ever, an issue for these toiling women. Lesbians also devote a disproportionate and unreciprocated amount of time and money into gay men’s (and these days, tranny dudes’) issues. Again, the lower on the shit heap you sit, the more you support your oppressors and better-offs.
Conclusion: mothers do NOT sit at the bottom of the shit heap, despite their claims that they do. Following society’s rules gives you a leg up, not the opposite. If you are breeding and suffering as a result, you likely don’t understand how heterosexuality works and failed to play the game correctly. You may not be able to save yourself at this point, but you can make sure you save your daughter(s) from forced heterosexuality and some of the evils of the world. But you won’t. Of course.
4. Martyrdom: The Blame Game vs. Responsibility
All female archetypes or roles created by men are designed for a) usage/consumption, b) control, and c) convenient scapegoating and shaming and playing us off against each other. Despite what you may want to think, I am not a denier of the fact that men have tended to blame mothers for all sorts of shit throughout history. Males in the psychological domain have been some of the worst offenders. I’m a defender of the reality of psychological mechanisms and such, but I also don’t believe males have any business working in any of the ‘helping’ professions. Male help almost always ends up further damaging women who are already damaged thanks to men and their handmaidens.
Having said that, mothers do a shit load of damage in this world, especially to daughters, and they SHOULD be called out for their often complex roles in destroying girls and building up future rapists (sons). As mentioned earlier, very few females are qualified to parent children due to a lack of standards for the ‘job’ of motherhood. Our world acknowledges that there are many problem parents, but gasp in horror if you suggest that there are people who just shouldn’t breed. Just standard patriarchal thinking, where we protect those who should know better and punish the innocent who have no choice in the matter… And I verge on digressing.
I want to mention two things mothers SHOULD be called out for in the blame game. First, they are quite happy to take responsibility for the role they play in the successes of their children, but are magically innocent and ignorant when their child ends up as a failure, screw-up or, worse, a monster. It’s just not possible to have such selective effects on behaviour. Either take full responsibility, or take no responsibility or get a clue about the extent of your sphere of influence.
Second, mothers have always protested being blamed more than fathers are for things that happen to their children or how their children end up. At the same time, they use the argument that they are the primary care-givers in custody cases. The vast majority of the time, it is the mother who is present 100% (or significant percentage) of the time for the first 5 years of a child’s life – not the father. Many fathers spend little to no time with kids, and when they do spend time, it is often ‘fun stuff’, not care-giving. And women enter breeding relationships with this understanding – if they don’t, they are definitely not qualified to breed… If you are the primary influence, then you bear the brunt of the responsibility for the shit that happens to your kid. Period.
Bottom line: if you want to want to take on the role that can be one of life or death for a minor, then you also have to be willing to take responsibility for your fuck-ups. You can’t be an adult and refuse responsibility at the same time. Don’t play the martyr.
5. Boy-Moms
They have always sat at the top of the lady-hierarchy. Even though the most blatant girl hatred manifests differently now, son love is still a thing in all cultures. As mentioned above, it is the job of a Good Mother to make sure her sons walk the planet with a distinct and internalized sense of their deservedness and privilege as males. The boy-mom of today is an uber-enabler of their son(s). Like a good mother is supposed to do, she will love him unconditionally, and will even cover up his crimes, including the most grievous woman-hating of them. Mothers rally behind a rapist son, and will go so far as to attack or censor his female victims.
As much as these women make me ill, I have to admit a fascination with the truly fucked up psychology any woman who breeds a son must deal with. You have to do mental gymnastics to let a dude fuck your body, but to create and birth a son and to watch him inevitably go from innocent, sexless baby to what so many young lads turn into, and to make the endless excuses for him over the years? To me that is just endless mental trauma to constantly have to deny reality. I’ve talked to and watched tons of boy-moms deal with the shit that comes out of their sons’ mouths. Even in the last few months, I got to know a boy-mom whose 7-year-old was constantly displaying what I consider to be budding psychopathic tendencies. She showered him with kisses constantly, while at the same time not being able to explain why most of what he talked about was hurting and/or killing people. Personally, the kid gave me the creeps, not just as someone who used to work in forensics and personality disorders, but as a woman with her eyes wide open and with no emotional or biological ties to this mini-monster-boy-child.
Advice: I’ve said this in the past and I’ll say it again. At the end of the day, boy-moms are no friends to women. They are more trauma-bonded to males than any other group of women, and when push comes to shove, they will destroy any innocent woman or girl who threatens the privilege of their son, even if that son is a killer and rapist. These women also tend to be worse to daughters when there is also a son in the picture. I’m speaking from experience, and I’ve heard enough personal anecdotes to give credence to the theory.
6. Mommy Dearest: Narcissistic Mothers:
Most of why I so wish women had freedom from forced heterosexuality and forced breeding is because of the young female victims that result. Girls are relentlessly conditioned from birth to hate themselves, and by extension, all females. So how can an adult female with a lifetime of such abuse possibly be an adequate mother to a girl? I mean, as explained above, this is part of playing the patriarchal role of Good Mother. Your job is to destroy your girls so that they make good, subservient, heterosexual victims and breeders in adulthood.
The average, ‘normal’ mother is dangerous to daughters. But what happens when your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)? These women will abuse boys, but they will absolutely destroy their daughters, psychologically. I experienced this, myself. And unfortunately, my father was co-dependent with narcissistic tendencies and a mental health professional, on top of that. It was a bad situation to grow up in (understatement!) and I went No Contact at the age of 20 (!), so let’s just say I understand manipulation and abuse on an expert level, and have a bit of a saviour complex when it comes to girls with abusive parents, especially mothers. Breeding just wasn’t even an option for me – can you imagine how selfish you’d have to be to potentially put a child at risk after growing up abused and also potentially exposing that child to abusive family members? You have to stop cycles like these.
Narcissistic mothers are often children of narcissistic parents. The thing about personality disorders is that while we may be born with certain traits, our environments can certainly make things so much worse. It isn’t a cut and dry nature-nurture situation.
Konstantin: “And your mother?…? …? No, Villanelle.”
Villanelle: “She deserved it.”
Konstantin: “Of course she deserved it. Everyone’s mother deserves it. But you’re not supposed to do it. You were supposed to grow up and realize she isn’t actually evil. She is just insane.
From the series, ‘Killing Eve’. Conversation following Villanelle’s return from Russia after killing her abusive, NPD mother.
If you are female and believe your mother was/is NPD, I have a great link in my sidebar to a site called Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. It was recommended to me years ago by a fellow traumatized woman, and it helped me a great deal. You can spend most of your life feeling like you are insane or imagining things in this horrible and bizarre parental situation. You’ve stopped telling people because no one will ever believe that your mother is abusive – mothers are more likely to be lionized and defended than blamed, despite what mothers say. And it is really hard to describe narcissistic abuse to people who have never experienced it before. You do end up sounding like there is something wrong with you.
7. The Future of Humanity: Redefining Motherhood
I am a staunch anti-natalist. I don’t support human breeding. I don’t believe it is possible for humans to continue on a positive trajectory as long as males exist, as I don’t believe women can be free if males exist. I don’t believe males can redeem themselves, and women exist as male-defined social constructs. Things aren’t getting better socially, politically, demographically, environmentally, economically, and they won’t.
I like to spend time thinking about three human scenarios that seem positive to me and that most people find scary, mostly because most people are self-centred and human-centric and are often infected with male-created religious values, which are anti-life (ironically, given what they say they believe in).
a) VHEM – the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. This is based on the idea that humans are a failed experiment of sorts. More males than females sign on to this ideology, which makes sense to me, as women tend to buy into male-defined roles, and thus cannot develop identities outside of being sex objects. The idea of not breeding, like men have told us we must since time began, strips so many women of their identity, sadly. Anyhow, male believers in this ideology typically and erroneously like to share blame for the state of the world with women. Myself, I acknowledge that males have created overpopulation and all the shit that has resulted from that. I have no problem with humans just stopping and giving the world over to the remaing creatures who absolutely are able to control their populations simply because they don’t have the ‘intelligence’ to fuck with the system. Human intelligence in the hands of men means that male irrationality reigns and we live unnaturally.
b) A New Model of Motherhood. If we were to continue the human race, one option is to eliminate males, put breeding firmly in the domain of women, who after recovering from slavery, would rediscover their natural biophilia. Multiple options would exist to continue the species. Parthenogenisis or use of artifical wombs coupled with a female model of population replacement rather than the male model of out-of-control growth would allow humans to downsize to a small unobtrusive population, replenish and maintain healthy resource levels, and remove biological child ownership from the mix and surrounding all children with multiple sources of love and learning. Humans can live more like similar mammal species instead of necrophilic zombots.
c) Hybridization. I’m a big fan of human transformation. Male elimination, as in the previous category, is a given and is necessary for healthy evolution, and the best traits of humanity could be blended with say, plants. Plants are incredible and responsible breeders, and I’d be perfectly keen seeing how other human systems, such as communication, would be improved and simplified with a different kind of connectedness such as use of a plantesque root system.
Conclusion
There is so much more that could be said on this topic, but I’ll end here with the following. I would truly love to see what humanity could and would look like if women could live completely separate from or without the existence of males. Nothing but horrors have resulted from male domination, and the world is certainly not thriving because of it. Our accomplishments are not true accomplishments, especially when held up against the widespread suffering of all species. I would love to see motherhood defined differently, or not at all. I would certainly love to see women and girls free from being forced to define themselves in terms of their uteri and vaginas. Queer theory does not address this problem by erasing women as a category. The problem is not having female body parts, but the fact that we are oppressed by males because of them.
If you want to be part of the solution, don’t breed (if you haven’t done so yet). Support girls unconditionally and believe them and believe in them. Stay away from male-identified, toxic females if you can. And don’t devote your time, money and energy to males if that is possible for you. And finally, remember that we women exist publicly, and often privately, in male-defined categories. It’s best, but hardest, to fight against this categorization. Remember that almost all women you meet gave in a long time ago. Hold them responsible for their actions, but not for the creation of these limiting boxes.
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Addendum
For those who would like a wonderfully done audio version of this post, please head to Radical Ramblings’ Youtube channel.
It’s Biology: They’ve Got ‘Surround, Terrorize and Destroy’ Down to an Art at 12
Bear with me, my Alphabet Series is on hold for the next while. I am ‘this close’ to finding myself in a regular, but low-paying, job with a reputable international organization. So life is a bit weird right now. That is the only word I have for it, although it isn’t ‘weird’ in the way it is normally weird. And yes, weird is normal. For me. Anyhow, that is neither here nor there. For the next little while, as I wait for bureaucratic stuff to move along in its glacial way, I am doing some private teaching gigs of the ESL sort.
I’m an extremely experienced, but highly unconventional, teacher. Unlike most teacher-teachers, I came to the profession with a ton of experience in the non-teaching realm, particularly in research and policy. I’m a statistician and methodologist by training, and my formal, funded-rather-than-paid, research background was in intelligence and abilities measurement, with paid-paid research sidelines in the areas of personality disorders and violent male crime, including sex (hate) crimes against women. So I kinda know a wee bit about how males define intelligence (and how they’ve abused these definitions and the tools they’ve based their ‘thinking’ on), and I’ve developed my own models of unconventionally (woman) defined intelligence, which I’ve guest lectured on in the past. I also have extensive, EVIDENCE-based knowledge of what males do to females, in addition to my extensive personal experience with what males have done to ME. Further, as a long-time educator who has worked with all ages and in many countries and cultures, and who is trained in behavioural assessment, observation, testing, evaluation, and the data-based 5-W’s and 1-H of male violence, I can speak with more knowledge and expertise about the differences between males and females at any age, including the young. Really, this has nothing to do with ‘feminism’ and everything to do with data and seeing reality. You don’t have to be a female seperatist to correctly interpret what the data show. And I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.
Males and females are different.
Males and females are not the same.
One of these things is not like the other, yadda yadda yadda.
So, males do not equal females.
And, the most popular one: the clear and present danger differences are rooted in BIOLOGY, so you can’t dream or plan your way out of the horrors you see as an educator, or simply as a woman in daily life. Period. I don’t care if it makes you feel bad or it sounds ‘negative’. Males are biologically different than females and these differences show up in how their brains works and in the behaviour that is controlled by their brains.
But let me confuse a few of you here because most people are dichotomous thinkers and I am decidedly not. The sadism, the violent and barely controlled, illogical emotionality, and the immaturity that results from male biology leads to a system of socialization. This system was designed by these violent ones, and it serves a purpose. It allows and gives a ‘justification’ to males to maintain their natural violent tendencies and their penchant for domination and destruction, and forces a whole host of unnatural subservient behaviours in females using similar illogical justifications (backed up with violence). So see, it is not simply biological OR sociological essentialism. When does that kind of thinking ever explain anything adequately?
The naturally violent (males) control the rest (females) through violence (biological imperative) and mindfuckery (the system of socialization).
Anyhoo, back to what I was saying. I’m doing a bunch of private teaching gigs at the mo, and unfortunately, many of my students are male. I’ve got an annoying adult Asian male right now, about whom I may write, as he is bizarre and barely tolerable, and he is teaching me the most unbelievable things about Korea that I feel I must share with the world for shits and giggles. He is also a classic mansplainer. But I’ve also got a bunch of boy children. I hate boy children – less than adult males, but still. Yet, I am the consummate professional, and a girl’s gotta eat, so I try to teach these fuckers in the most unbiased way I possibly can. And yes, I’m fucking good at it. I actively work on my control of personal biases – I am highly aware of my behaviour. I’m definitely not perfect. But in a professional role, I take this shit seriously. Unlike male teachers. And unlike women who teach girls (goddammit, I have stories about the shit female teachers say and do to female students…) Anyhow, I’m really good at lying/hiding my true self/compartmentalizing because I am female and have to survive in this world. If women behaved like men and reacted violently and proportionately to all the shit that happened to them in this world at the hands and dicks of males, no male would exist. So, I insist that women are generally better liars and more controlled than men – and think of the illness we carry resulting from the forced suppression of so much righteous anger! So, of course, I’ve learned to pick my battles. Fighting with a 12-year-old future rapist isn’t worth my gynergy. I try to de-sex them in my mind in order to get through my job requirements. In my ideal world (where I’m still teaching, that is), I would only teach female students.
Now, when you teach boy children, a few things become immediately clear. But before I get into that, let me say one other thing first. Mothers constantly pull the superiority crap with non-breeding women. The whole: “You don’t have children, so you don’t know, do you?” thing is a constant, eye-rolling experience for me. Smugness issue aside, I would go along with this, except for one thing. I frequently seem to understand more about children than the average mother. I often think these women are fucking clueless. They have no idea what their kids do online. They have no idea that what their kids tell them is mostly bullshit. They have no idea how to parent children, including setting limits, teaching critical thinking, and for fuck sake, just teaching basic ethics. But it makes sense. There really are no qualifications for the ‘job’ of parenthood. And I’ll stop there as I’m still writing a torturous (for me) post on mothers, which will be uber-unpopular, but which must be said. The bottom line here is mothers don’t have a fucking clue about their sons. I do.
So back to the shit you notice right away about boys vs girls. And yes, I’ve written about boys and girls in the classroom before. First, girls are smarter, more hard-working, and more creative than boys. Sorry, boy-moms. You’ve pooped a turd, to put it vulgarly. Second, boy-moms who manage to get in on your teaching session (seriously, try to prevent this at all cost), will hijack your class, and if there are girls present, they will try to force you to give preferential treatment to their boys and will want you to reward their boys’ laziness and sulking in the same way that you reward girls’ effort and stellar answers. Third, the attention span of a boy is but milliseconds. As my researcher’s mind watches them work their magic, I marvel at how little stamina their brains have, how little computing power (yeah, boys can’t do math either), how little logic ability they possess. The list goes on. Remember that I am an expert in abilities assessment. With the occasional exception that doesn’t negate the general rule, boys are just poorer at everything – and YET, they are rewarded, promoted, and given opportunities while girls’ potential is so often pushed aside so they can focus on becoming mothers. The rage you see in adult males these days is a direct result of being forced to deal with actual competition from females (not low-level competition from other males). Males never had to face reality in the past when they deliberately (guess why!?!) kept females out of school and the workforce. Facing their inadequacy makes men mad. And you see this shit starting in boys in mixed classrooms, reinforced by boy-moms from the sidelines. They sulk and yell and force attention on themselves, thus derailing lessons and redirecting attention from girls.
I insist that it’s biological. It starts early and it happens in every culture and race. Their lower abilities are biological. Their explosive and disruptive emotionality is biological. And moms (dads to a lesser extent, as they don’t give a shit about the mundane details of their property, and are busy reaping the profits of being violent and inadequate) and teachers and the rest of people that make up the patriarchal system reward this biological inferiority and punish female superiority while instilling bizarre, self-hating, and subservient behaviours to replace whatever girls were born with. I ask, will we women ever know what we are truly capable of???
So I’ll get to the anecdote that inspired the title of this post. I teach a couple of 12-year-old males along with a completely fucked up 7-year-old male, and yesterday, things were over-the-top focused on their violent thoughts, even though none of the material I introduced was connected to violence at all. I swear I have never had a class with a girl, woman, or group of females where every fucking answer they gave me involved killing other people or doing other nasty shit. But yesterday, even from the 7-year-old boy, during the language + creativity exercises I gave them, all the boys could come up with were ways to hurt or kill people. There was no actual creativity happening. And then, one of the 12-year-olds told me a story – that he was very PROUD of, like in a moral high ground sort of way – regarding how he and some of his dude-bros taught a girl a lesson online.
Now, the mother of these kids, like all boy-moms, doesn’t have a clue how much time these boys spend online and what they get up to. Said boy is an amateur ‘hacker’ and spends what I consider to be too much time on online gaming forums having discussions with complete strangers and some online ‘friends’. One day, during one of these discussions, a person perceived to be female ‘dissed’ the boy’s mother. Personally, the situation smacked, not of female behaviour, but of male behaviour. That classic ‘your mom is a whore’ taunt-fest is something most boys engage in. When I was a kid, it happened on the playground – there was no online world. Now, it is everywhere, including the internet. I’ve never witnessed girls do this. But anyone can be anyone online, and we know males enjoy masquerading as females for a variety of pervy reasons. So anyhow, this 12-year-old – who, by the way, believes in the current po-mo rhetoric that is spreading from the West to far-off places, including where I live, that males = females, therefore females are as violent and aggressive as males – decided to teach this ‘girl’ a lesson. He gathered his online dude-bros, did some basic hacking, located this girl’s meat world address and then threatened her with coming to get her. Basically, the same shit you see MRAs try to do to radical feminists who dare to speak online. Doxxing, and the requisite rape and death threats in order to scare her into silence or removing herself from the internet altogether. I don’t know if there were rape or death threats in this particular instance of 12-year-old male terrorism of what they thought was a lone female (I still think the kid was actually male), but this boy truly believed, as he explained to me, that her crime of dissing his mom warranted an online, organized gang-bang designed to scare the shit out of her.
Nobody taught him this. The male mind – the manifestation of the activities of the brain, which is part of the body, which is a biological entity, created, not of socialization, but of DNA – goes there naturally. It sees prey, it thinks violent thoughts, it creates justification for that violence, and then it pounces and carries the violence out. And then it gets away with it! Millennia of evidence, and yet so much denial and blindness and belief that it can be changed. Through education, no less!
Wake up.
[Included in the Conversations with Men series. Boy, you’ll be a man soon…]
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One Down…
One of the things that I absolutely hate about straight women and why I’ve stopped supporting their endless, mostly self-created and self-perpetuating ‘man problems’ is their flip-floppishness when it comes to allying with women. This warrants a deeper analysis – ‘why’ is my favourite question, after all – and I’ve written about a part of it in my post on friendship. Some feminists have tackled other parts with allusions to trauma bonds and the like. Really, our system of patriarchal brainwashing and compulsory heterosexuality is a massive topic. I’ll just say for now that I don’t blame women for patriarchy, but I do hold them accountable for hurting other women and refusing to see and/or accept reality (aka being ‘willingly ignorant’). Unlike how men paint feminists (incorrectly, I might add – big surprise), I don’t think women ‘can do no wrong’. And as a non-dichotomous thinker, I also don’t equate males to females either – the bad things that women do manage to do cannot in any possible way compare to the bad shit that men do. I mean seriously, if you take all the bad deeds that women have done throughout history and put them on a scale, and on the other side, you put all the bad deeds that men have done in 2021 alone, the male side of the scale would not only hit the ground, but it would smash into the earth and tunnel a hole straight through to China (or whatever place is directly across from you on the globe)! You think I jest or hyperbolize? Well, the latter, maybe a smidge. But hmmm, keep those blinders on, ladies…
I also don’t automatically assume women are ‘stoopid’ like the average black-pilled woman is annoyingly wont to do (e.g., women are stoopid because even when men rape them, they still go back for more abuse!). The ‘stoopid’ label is incorrect, simplistic (also ‘willingly ignorant’), and woman-hating/an ad feminem attack. In short, I think women are smart enough to see what’s going on, but among all the shitty ‘choices’ available, it is easier and more advantageous in many ways to keep the fuck machine going with men. Despite the gaslighting I constantly experience from these women regarding my life being so goddamn ‘easy’, my way is actually infinitely harder and more dangerous. If my life were so easy, all women would be doing it, and I wouldn’t have anything to write about, amiright?
Anyhow, long preamble over, I write this following getting an email from a former female professor from my grad school days. Or rather, an email forward. The gist of it was that the man who ran our laboratory back in the day has died after several years of brain deterioration (ahem). This man played a part in destroying both of our careers, while uplifting all the careers of the male professors and grad students (including the *oppressed* black males and other non-white males in our lab). I remember back when I interviewed at that university for that lab, I was just this wide-eyed, 23-year-old, superstar Canadian girl, amazed that I was being wined and dined by big American research powerhouse universities. This guy took me out for dinner, and smart though I was, I became confused. He brought along a woman who didn’t have any connection to the uni or the program. Turns out she was his former grad student and he was currently fucking her (whether he was fucking her while she was still his student, who knows?) But classy, eh? Now, the question remains – and I don’t really care, to be honest – did she invite herself along (aka “I don’t trust you because you tend to fuck female grad students…”) or was it his idea (aka “you’ve got competition, bitch”)?
He was an asshole to women in so many ways. And I learned a lot from this turd, although not about my professional field – about life and how it really doesn’t get better for women with increased education. And sorry, liberals, white women aren’t winning. Ever. Nothing you say under the guise of SJWing is anything I’ve ever experienced or witnessed. Ever.
The email arrived a few days ago and I haven’t responded to it yet. I’m thinking about what my response should be, and I hate that this is taking up any of my headspace at all. As I’d like to write an honest response, I’m considering just ignoring the email altogether because honesty doesn’t work for hetero women (or any man). I’ve known this woman for a long, long time – we’re currently not on the greatest of terms. Well, more like ‘not bad, not good’, in my opinion. I know why this is so, but it’s not germane to the current story. I’ve mentioned her before in my post on how women are isolated from one another. She is hetero, feminine, and a mother of two sons. And a repeat abuse victim who keeps finding yet another loser man to attach herself to when she starts feeling lonely and isolated. I suppose I get it, but it is really annoying to be around, because despite the fact that she is super smart, a great researcher, a fucking awesome teacher, and she has a PhD in a field that perfectly places her in a position to analyze and understand literal raw data, she absolutely refuses to see the truth about males.
Part of the problem in deciding on my response is that I’m not sure why my former prof sent the information. I’ve heard through a mutual acquaintance that she has found a new man to fuck, so she could be in a pro-male frame of mind and has sad-feelz about this amaaaayzing dead man. Like I said, hetero women go back and forth in their alliance with non-hetero women depending on what day it is. Perhaps, she is relieved that he’s gone from the planet and knows I will be too? Much less likely. To be honest, I haven’t thought about this asshole since I was a student because so many more assholes came after him to make my life hell. And besides, I found my way out from under his direct influence after my first year of abuse, which helped me move on. It hurt my career, of course, but it might have been worse otherwise? The final possibility is that she is just reaching out and this was a conveniently timed event of shared ‘interest’ that provided an excuse to do it. But really, I’m sick of hetero women needing excuses to bond with me other than “I need someone to complain to about my current abusive man or the loneliness resulting from not having a man.” It’s just sad that this email is also coming about because of a man, pleased though I may be at the thought of his death.
All I am thinking right now is: one down, 4 billion to go…
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Cry Like a Boy vs Cry Like a Girl: An Observation
Not one of my standard lengthy posts, but rather an observation. And it’s an observation that transcends race and country, and likely time, as well. I say this as I am now in another country and culture that are completely foreign to me (I’m on the brink of finally getting another job, though). And yet again, as I observe daily life and goings-on, I realize that no matter where I go, people are all pretty much the same. There are differences in language and customs and the manifestations of misogyny, but the biologicals are reliable.
And so I come to male and female children, and an example of behaviour that I see over and over no matter what culture I find myself in.
First, let’s get one thing straight. Unless there is something wrong or abnormal with the kid, ALL kids cry. Biologically, this is a truth. Males have tear ducts, but their ducts are larger, so it takes longer for them to fill up and spill over. So males and females may ‘cry’ the same amount, but we might see clearly observable evidence of it in the form of tears more in females. So the slur against females: “Cry like a little girl.” is not quite accurate in the way it was intended. And of course, in all slurs against females (which are all inaccurate), there is an implied weakness – this one being that females cry more than males. Which, we know is not true. In my observations, little boys seem to cry as much (if not more) than little girls, AND they also make a hell of a lot more noise. Seriously.
Now, here is my added observation based on something I first heard and then saw out my window the other morning. The little boy next door and his dog were ‘interacting’. I’m not sure how it started, but by the time I feasted my eyes on the sitch, the boy was busy kicking the dog in the head. Repeatedly. Not something I’ve ever seen a girl do, by the way (although I have a great animal abuse story about my mother, but she was NPD, so not a normal woman). The dog then decided to bite the boy’s hand. There was no blood. No skin was broken. He wasn’t injured, physically. But. And this is what it always comes down to with males regardless of age. The dog committed a crime. It fought back. The boy immediately started crying and screaming bloody murder. A girl (who probably wouldn’t have been kicking the dog in the head to begin with) would have just cried and tried to get away from the dog. But the boy, like most boys and men, decide to retaliate against the dog, who, let’s face it, was just defending itself. He launched a vicious attack on the dog that sent it scurrying off. Disgusted enough, especially as it was nothing new in my 50 years of observing males, I decided that was the end of the entertainment.
This type of male behaviour applies in many situations, and most of you female readers can likely relate to the dog. Males antagonize us, emotionally, sexually, physically, psychologically, and if we don’t accept it like good little bitches, and especially if we fight back in kind, but in defence, they go at us harder. “How dare you fight back!” “I’m male, I can do what the fuck I want to you, and you have to take it.”
So, I’d prefer that you cry like a girl. Crying is normal and natural. It serves a number of purposes. If it weren’t normal, we wouldn’t have tear ducts… But abusing, then crying (with screaming and gratuitous noise), and then more vicious abuse – in other words, crying like a boy – forget it. We don’t need that shit. Ever. As I think about this scene, I consider that in liberal North America, the dog in this scenario might be put down for the crime of fighting back. I’d argue, though, that it’s the boy who needs to bite it. Way too dangerous, and he is only 7. It’s only going to get worse…
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A Glimmer of Sanity in a Trans-Psychotic World
Happy 2022, everyone! I haven’t written in a while, although not on purpose, but I figured I’d send out some good news. We need it, especially as we grimly face the start of year 3 of COVIDapalooza; the fall-out from Jewish eugenicist and sex-trafficker, Jeffrey Epstein’s life of rape and privilege; and the continuing slow slide into non-human status for Western women thanks to the political left.
In short, a group of private girls’ schools in the UK is refusing to accept trannie dude’s applications. They refuse to see biological males as females and state that accepting trannies means that they will no longer be same-sex schools. Logic! Reason! Facts! In the UK!?! How is this possible? How have they not been literally, nevermind politically and economically, killed by the trans cult yet? How has the government not shut them down yet, especially as this is a GIRLS’ school? The West is currently trampling girls’ rights in a way strangely parallel to how fundamentalist Muslims in Afghanistan (among many other countries) attack girls’ schools for allowing the girls to even attend. Women are losing their jobs in many Western countries just for correctly stating that biological sex is an unassailable fact – but these schools are left intact? Hey, I’m not criticizing them or trying to appear clever. I’m glad this is happening. I don’t even give a shit about the fact that they are private and cater to people with money – I’m not an asshole who intentionally overlooks the amazingness and potential influence of this situation in order to score points with the woke gender-critical set who can’t see the forest for the trees. The reality is that it is the people with power/money who need to step up when rights are being trampled. Who gives a shit that most people can’t afford to attend this school, myself included. It is very difficult for individuals (especially women) and beholden groups (aka government-funded entities) to accomplish much politically, especially if the targets of oppression are women and girls. So, I urge you to feel inspired by this group of schools – a small archipelago in a sea of sharks in tutus and tiaras yet with rock-hard rape-sticks. If these folks can hold their ground against one of the most dangerous and psychotic groups of people to come on the scene in a very long time, then there is hope for everyone else.
An interesting part of this is the sub-group of trannies being addressed here – the applicants, themselves, rather than their fucking nutso supporters. It’s not the scary adult autogynophilic rapist woman-hating sub-group. or the pathetic homophobic, woman-hating closeted and in-denial gay/lesbian sub-group, or the sad and terrified I-don’t-want-to-be-raped-or-harassed girls sub-group. We’re talking the ROGBs. And they are the most easily helped, especially if you don’t enable their bullshit. And likely, the group of schools in question is well aware of this modern psychological and social problem. ROGB or rapid-onset gender dysphoria, or what I like to cal Tik-Tok, Dick+Frock disorder is a standard teenaged mental health problem set in modern times. It’s considered controversial, but it’s actually rather straightforward and super easy to figure out, and thus, not controversial at all. Basically, teeny-boppers – people at their most gullible, inexperienced, naive, temperamental and hormonal – are spending too much unsupervised time on social media, and are being influenced by unsupervised, ‘cool’ idiots online. And guess what happens when you are a typical miserable teenager? You look for ways to fit in and feel better. So you end up doing really stupid shit in order to feel totally different, while ironically completely conforming. For most, this kind of bullshit works its way out of your system after your brain matures fully, your hormones calm down and you get the fuck away from your parents 😉 There is often more than a little embarrassment felt at the memory of what we thought and did during our teen years. But my point here is that the school has sensibly decided not to enable this kind of nonsense and to protect their girls at the same time. Let’s hope the government, urged/coerced by violent social activists, doesn’t rain hell upon this group of schools for their bravery and rationality. There is a possibility that the loophole they are relying upon that born male kids are not ‘legally’ female even if they claim they are female could be eliminated, thus forcing a change in admittance. But the school, and more importantly, the girls, seem safe, at this point. This article came out today (January 2) and insanity could still reign if trannie-boy-moms and the larger violent and unstable activist set gets their way.
Speculation aside, today’s news is the kind of Christmas present and New Year’s Tidings I can get excited about.
(btw, I’m including a pdf version available here – besides the link to the original above – of this article in case the Daily Mail is forced to take it down. I’ve learned that anything can happen… here is the link.)
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Why Search Terms Went the Way of the Dinosaur
For those of you who run blogs or web sites, have you noticed over the past decade that Google (and other search engines that facilitate the remaining 8% of searches that Google doesn’t perform…) is no longer giving web sites feedback on the search terms used to get to their sites?
I set up my first major web site in 1995 – a co-venture with one of my professors. It is still up, but no longer the award-winning powerhouse it was at the time. I just visited it about an hour ago, and noted that my former prof took my name off the site’s credits, even though I did ALL the research and ALL the coding and ALL the fixes. Didn’t I just write about men stealing from women in my last post…??? Anyhow, in those early days of web development, I realized that search terms were really helpful. The concept of SEO was just a few years away and hadn’t become big business yet. But knowing how people got to your site could help you write content of interest to people, which would in turn, bring more traffic. As we were operating as a resource, we weren’t trying to make money, but to help people find information. I’ve run other web sites since then, and search terms became increasingly important.
But recently, this treasure trove of information has dried up. Since 2011, Google decided they didn’t want to provide that kind of information anymore – although they said that it would barely affect site owners. Not so. In 2013, they expanded their search encryption policies, and basically, the iron curtain came down. Now, if you listen to what the men (let’s face it, these are male decisions) running the search engines say, they cite that they are concerned about privacy. But whose privacy? Unless, you are connecting a search term to an individual’s computer, what’s the big deal? Why shouldn’t we have access to the words that bring netizens to our sites?
Well, if you actually looked at search terms when they were readily available, and you consider what drives much of the internet traffic and downloads, a hell of a lot of it is porn and other misogynistic – some of it disturbingly violent – content. And this is a big deal for women like myself, who run feminist content. What is bringing people to our sites? And we come back to circling the question of whose privacy is being protected by blocking access to search terms.
There was a really great, data-oriented site that was stopped in 2013, likely coinciding with Google’s male protection racket ramp up, that I still link to in my side bar – What Men Want to See Online – which collected search terms from women running feminist web sites. It was telling, even shocking, disturbing, saddening, and it supports the idea that search engines are most concerned about protecting male privacy. Men worried about being targeted/located and accused of what they euphemistically call ‘thought crimes’ have likely fuelled this enactment of online privacy. (It’s amazing how many men I run into who are obsessed with ‘thought crimes’ – why is that…?) It is very important that men can search for, access, and masturbate over and over to rape videos, woman-torture, child porn, sexist racism, and the like. The privacy – and safety! – of women and children is just silly to think about. This protection ensures that men can easily keep the rape, torture and other woman hate going both on and offline. If you hide a problem, then it keeps going, keeps building. And we well know that ‘thought crimes’ cannot be compartmentalized – even though men tell us that their fantasies about cutting women up is just that – fantasy – and has nothing to do with their real feelings towards half the population… yeah, right. Do you really thing that men sit at their computer jizzing over a woman being tortured and raped and then go to work and treat their female co-workers fairly? Get real. I am not actually sure which is more disturbing – that men can get off on rape, and then go back to business as usual (which is not fair treatment, by the way), which I would also call psychopathy. Or that men get off on rape and then bring it into the meat world, which is also psychopathy. Hiding it or letting it hang out. Which is worse? And they can’t really hide misogyny; not really. Men aren’t that smart or skilled, and like I’ve said before, they are terrible liars. They don’t have to be – every disgusting thing they do is protected.
Now, Story Ending Never wasn’t operating when WMWTSO was collecting data, so I couldn’t contribute my wealth of filth kindly provided by males from all over the world. When I ran into the site after the fact, I went a-digging into my own data, and I was surprised that so many men were looking for rape and somehow found themselves on my blog. The search terms available have drastically dropped off in the years since I started writing in 2015 – I almost never get specific terms anymore – but my 6+ years of data fall into a few major categories.
There is a shitload of racist (against white women) rape and porn search terms. If you are one of those willingly ignorant assholes who thinks white women aren’t major targets of serious, violent, racist, sexist, rape-hate, you can find the nearest cliff and lean over. No, just a little more. Go on, now. Racist sexism against white women is the most accepted and promoted racist-sexism (even among rapey white males who are happy for women to pay for male crimes, and shockingly, some self-hating, badly abused white females) in current times.
The racist bullshit co-mingles sex, fucking, raping, porn, erotica and romance. The focus is mostly Arabs raping white women, a few black rapists thrown in, but you get the picture (see my keyword list attached below). If you need more proof that men put everything from love to rape to revenge fucks to sexy fun to porn into the same bloody category, just look at search terms – oh wait, you can’t anymore. We are protecting men’s searches now. Anyhow, why do you think I started the Love = Hate series? They are the same thing for men. But you can look at my list because Google can’t erase what has already been recorded.
There is a second major category highlighting men’s obsession with being castrated. I swear men want this. They drool over it. They dream of it. And part of me thinks we should help them out… but I don’t get this obsession at all. I mean, I know men constantly think of hurting women in horrible ways, and I think they assume women do the same thing – dreaming of hurting men and maybe dreaming of being hurt. However, the average woman decidedly does not. She neither dreams of being a slave nor of acting like a typical male. But men need to think this is true to create insane justifications for what they do to us. Otherwise, how can you feel like you are righteous if your target is innocent…? This is how religion (another product of male thinking) has always operated – justifying horrific treatment of people by creating false reports of evil in their ‘enemies’.
The third smaller category of filth that men use to arrive at my site is prostitute humiliation. The first category of search terms, I get – I am white and female, so I will automatically be the target of racist, sexist hate. I don’t know why the castration fetishists come to me or why the prostitute haters come to me. I don’t really write about either – maybe an occasional mention, but nothing worthy of the scores of scrotes who find me through these depraved search terms.
Anyhow, those are my two cents on the internet today. I’m busy procrastinating on something I need to get done, so I’d better get back to it. If you’re interested in the list of search terms, I am including them here for download instead of including a really long list of filth within this post.
Search Terms Used to Find Story Ending Never
[Part of the Conversations with Men series.]
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Men Dream, Women Labour, Men Take Credit
A man with dreams needs a woman with vision…
Alternate verion: A man with dreams needs a woman who believes…
various scrotals take credit as their sex is wont to do, but original source unknown
Better and truer version: A man with dreams needs women’s unquestioning faith, undying and undeserved devotion, and endless free or underpaid labour to bring the dream to life… but it’s probably just better to put him down in the permanent sense, so that women can be free to pursue their own damned dreams.
Story Ending
Woman, I could get used to this quote reinvention thing! I might go down in history – kind of like Weird Al Yankovic with his song parodies! No matter. I’ll put this in the Conversations with Men series, although I’m writing of a general, repetitive, lifelong conversation that all women have with all men. I’ll give a few examples from my own life, but honestly, I see this form of male dominance in everything I experience. Women are just so used to it (and by my definition, exhausted by it) that they don’t realize all the time they end up devoting to men’s brilliant ideas and/or cleaning up after numerous failed experiments.
So the other day, after escaping from my most recent foray into exploitative work – wait, let’s call it what it actually was: work-based imprisonment of a foreign person through legal means – I started researching the country where I’ll be spending at least the next couple of months. Okay, let’s be honest here again, I was researching food because I like food, especially local specialties. And I noticed something. Most of these dishes and snacks and local basics that are must-eats when in this particular area have a man’s name attached to them. Men made famous by the creation of some spectacular edible. In the few cases where a woman was considered responsible for the dish’s creation, we have no idea who she was – some faceless, nameless wife. The story behind the dish often has the quality of a general myth: a woman wanted to please her new husband, sorta bullshit.
Anyhow, I started thinking about this, and it didn’t make sense to me. Given that throughout history, and continuing today, women have been the ones in the kitchens, the ones improvising dishes during hard times, the ones creating deliciousness out of 3 ingredients because hubbie has spent all the family’s money at the local watering or gambling hole or whorehouse – why is it that men are the only ones supposedly creating the famous, local, traditional foods? This doesn’t ring true for me. What I think has happened is that some opportunistic male who couldn’t get anything in his own life going, took his mother’s or his sister’s or his wife’s amazing creation and attached his name to it. Woman be damned. We’ve seen this happen countless times throughout history in the art world, in the scientific world – in every world and in every culture. Men steal. They steal from women. They steal their ideas, their labour, their inventions and discoveries, and they take credit in the form of recognition, money, future opportunities, and more. This is HIS story. She is erased. He lives forever. So I know the traditional foods I end up eating no matter where I go in the world have originally come from women, anonymous women.
I thought about the process of stealing. I thought about all the Great Men in the world, and the lesser men who have dreams. I thought about my own experiences with these ‘idea men’ thoughout my life. There have been so many. When I was younger and more naive and energetic, I fell prey to many of these guys. Sometimes, they have good ideas. But here’s the thing. Most of these men are not that bright, and are the laziest fuckers you’ll ever meet. They have grown up having their mothers do everything for them, and coupled with their inborn aggression and need to take, mom has nurtured and reinforced a sense of entitlement and deserving. By the time he reaches adulthood, the great man is well used to girls and women working for him to make his path easy, to make his dreams come true, to provide an endless well of ideas from which to take, and to give him some kind of legacy that they and he believes he deserves as a male.
You have, no doubt, encountered at least one of these guys in your life. It could be dad, but it could also be a teacher or mentor, a friend, a boyfriend/husband. You’ve been well-trained from birth to see males as insightful and brilliant, and you fall for male aggression or charisma really easily. Once charmed, you’ll do anything for them. They are soooo smart and creative and supportive of your desperate need to be a part of their crusade! Of course you want to sign on and help him realize his brilliant idea to change the world! See my post on friendship – specifically the section on Types of Friendship – to get some insight into how women get sucked into parasitical situations like this – hint: males see friendships with women differently than women see friendships with men…
I’ll give a few of my own examples. Note that I don’t fall for male bullshit anymore. I don’t give free labour to men anymore. Not that I’ve tried this yet, but I’d now go so far as to suggest that women steal men’s ideas and make them happen without sharing credit. Time to turn the tables, don’t you think? That’s for you to decide, of course. But I’m tired of promoting playing nice with our oppressors. We still aren’t free, but dammit, we’re ethical and sweet!
There is a male I’ve written about before. He is a standard lazy, useless, wannabe Great Man. He has spent decades generating ideas and then rallying gaggles of energetic and enthusiastic women to do his bidding. I was, at one point, one of them, until I saw the writing on the wall: I wasn’t getting anything but longer-lasting poverty from his project. And he got all the credit for the work I did. Not all of this guy’s ideas were bad, and he is actually aware he is a lazy user, and that it is women he almost exclusively exploits. But he talks about it laughingly, as all males do when they acknowledge bad parts of themselves (hahaha, I’m a womanizer; lol, I have a weakness for raping prostitutes for money; teeheehee, I just can’t help ogling women while you’re in the middle of telling me about your childhood incest). I eventually escaped this guy and moved on with other stuff. But I lost months of my life.
The most recent example of male dreams shaping the women they use and abuse came out of the recent job I accepted and just escaped from (alluded to above). Now, I was only able to escape because I’ve wised up to male tactics, because I don’t fully trust how Muslim males treat women (especially white women), and because I was put in a very dangerous legal situation that potentially could have seen me arrested, heavily fined and/or deported (yes, stupid liberal Americans, this shit happens to white people, too). Now, I’m not big on rules, as a rule, but I don’t actively fuck with governments. The school for whom I was working had told me weeks ago that they had finished the paperwork for my work visa, but had refused to take my passport – and you need the visa put INTO the passport to show legal status – even after I asked several times, and as the expiry date of my tourist visa approached, I wasn’t given any information about the status of my visa or the need for me to do a ‘visa run’ to a neighbouring country in order to remain legal. The only conclusion that could be reached was that a) they intended to put me into illegal status and thus control my movements since I couldn’t do anything without ID and proof of legal standing or b) they were holding my paperwork hostage, which was in fact finished, in order to control my movements. Without legal standing, one can’t leave the country, travel within the country on public transport, or even stay at a hotel within the country while on a school break. They were trying to hold me prisoner, in other words. This on top of the fact that I was forced to work 7 days a week, was faced with racism and xenophobia every day, and was dealing with growing anger and resentment from some of the women working at the school as I don’t act like a Muslim woman or even one of the non-Muslim hetero breeders or breeders-to-be. Needless to say, I was fucking depressed, constantly ill, and paranoid about being illegal.
But let’s get to the male dream – female slavery part of things. So the head of the school told me about his ‘dreams’ on a few occasions. He was thrilled to hire me as I am highly educated and experienced, and so, squarely on my shoulders, he placed his ridiculous and frankly impossible dreams about the future of the school. Honestly, I had better ideas for the school, but I wasn’t hired for my ideas – just my apparently endless female capacity for labour. So deluded and power-hungry as he was, he couldn’t believe it one day when he asked me if I had been out of the city to enjoy some of the beautiful scenery of the area, and I told him that it wasn’t possible as I was working 7 days a week, including nights. He looked at me suspiciously – I’m legally barred from working more than one job – and he asked where I was working. I looked at him incredulously and told him I worked 7 days a week at the school – days, nights, Saturdays, and full Sundays grading and preparing the hours and hours of lessons I had to teach. He ended the conversation right after that as reality is never part of a Great Man’s dream. He is responsible for ideas, and he doesn’t think about who has to suffer (women) in order to make these dreams come true. He had even admitted to me on a few other occasions that he was likely to move to a different school in the system in the near future, but he expected me to stay for at least 5 years to make his great dream for the program come true, and he definitely wanted to get credit for that!
Fuck that. I’m too old and open-eyed to fall for male abuse anymore. I almost wish I could go back in time and take back all the months and years of my life I devoted to furthering men’s careers and fattening their pocketbooks at the expense of my own career and bank account. All I can do now is to prevent it from happening to me again, and to put my story and warnings out there for younger women (or older women who haven’t figured out why they feel depleted and used and impoverished), so that they can avoid all the pain and focus on holding their own ideas sacred, and focusing on making their own dreams come true.
A woman’s dream should never be to let a man step on her in order to reach the top.
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I is for Innocence
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
I’m only willing to hear you cry
Because I am an innocent man
Billy Joel
Well, that was a creepy and patronizing lyric from Billy Joel’s An Innocent Man – the flagship Not All Men! song – where Mr. Joel chastises a woman for not spreading her legs for him because some man in her past abused her and she is still traumatized. This is the ubiquitous shaming that all women brainwashed from birth into mandatory heterosexuality go through throughout their lives. How DARE you not trust a male not to rape you, beat you, shame you, degrade you, use you, or kill you! How dare you shut down the fuck machine after being raped! You must have a victim mentality, or you are just fucking crazy or something. He is saying: “How DARE you include ME in a group of people (males) who has, for every second of every day for MILLENNIA, oppressed women and girls on the basis of sex. I am a Good ManTM – an Innocent Man.” Notice, though, that the Innocent Man here doesn’t feel sympathy or empathy for the woman. Rather, he is telling the abused female that she should feel grateful that he is tolerating her lady-bullshit because he is not, in his opinion, a rapist or abuser. Magnanimity or what?!? But the subtext is that, of course, he wants his needs served by this whiny bitch because he has likely dropped a reasonable amount of time, attention and cash on her. Maybe he’ll be so good as to let her cry for 5 more minutes before he really loses his shit.
Sorry, buddy. Not a single one of you is innocent of oppressing females, even self-righteous gay dudes. Even an oppressed male has at least one female under his boot. Woman and girl abuse is built into the patriarchal system of every country and culture in the history of the world.
So, today, I is for Innocence. This post is part of the on-going Alphabet Series.
A few months ago, I put some feelers out on saidit.net amongst the small blackpilled crowd there to inspire some feedback on the topic (you can check out my saidit post and the various comments here). There are some very intelligent women there, as well as some real woman-haters, and as expected, I got some feedback from the former, while the latter ignored me completely, as they always do 😉 So, a shout out to ahhale, lilith, CosmicFarmPrisoner, and tallowcandle for their intelligence and contributions. I’ll make some references to points they’ve made throughout this post, but leave the general attributions and thanks here.
There were so many great I-words to choose from. I selected Innocence a while ago, and I can’t remember what in particular inspired that choice, but I considered a few others. I is also for irrational, which is one of the many, many characteristics that describes males well, but that is always projeted onto females as a sign of their ‘deficiency’. I is also for illogical (ditto on the projection); irresponsible (um, ditto), ignorant (ditto, and I covered this topic a bit in two 2015 posts: Naiveté, Stupidity, and Ignorance, and in Well Read and Willfully Ignorant); impotence (male ‘problems’, oh no!!!); and inclusion (touched on in my Alphabet post on Diversity). And since this writing two years ago, I’ve added I is for Identity, Individualism and Infantilization – check them out on my YouTube channel or my website.
Anyhow, I’ll do the following here today. I’ll define innocence (according to men), and talk about it in terms of the legal system (designed by men), and moral system (designed by men), and I’ll dig into why this is such an important central, but mostly ignored, theme in male domination. And by the end, we’ll be abe to conclude whether this is even a useful concept for women.
Male-Defined Innocence
If you look up the word ‘innocent’, you get the following:
- the state, quality, or fact of not being guilty of a crime or offence;
- the state of not having responsibility for or direct involvement in an event, yet suffering its consequences;
- naiveté; purity, or the lack of guile or corruption; and
- used euphemistically to refer to a person’s virginity
So, we’ve got the realms of legality, morality, and sex. And they are not mutually exclusive, nor are they applied equally to males and females, which is only because males control language and the realms where it is used. The legal system, including in places where lawyers are over-abundant and yet continue to earn more than most people, is still a joke, relying not so much on evidence, as on rhetoric and perception and the skill with which they can be manipulated. Moral systems, STILL mostly based on the whole caveman level “man good, woman evil” way of thinking and STILL protected by circa Dark Age religious and supersitious, anti-woman conventions, ensure that the concept of ‘innocence’ in the non-legal sense, is an intrinsic part of every culture. And the whole virginity and sex thing, which applies SOLELY to females, and is propped up by moral (religious/superstitious) traditions, even in places where religion in the conventional sense doesn’t have a presence.
So let’s dig in.
1) Innocence, Legally-Speaking
the state, quality, or fact of not being guilty of a crime or offence
Now, I’m not going to attempt to do justice to this area of innocence. While I am a qualified librarian at the post-graduate level, and I did take a course in law librarianship, I am decidedly not a lawyer. I don’t have much interest in, and certainly no faith in the formal legal system. I’m more of a ‘vigilante justice’ proponent, myself, when it comes to dealing with male crimes, especially because males are seldom held accountable for the shit they do to women and girls. Male guilt, even when we know the scrote is 100% guilty, is seldom punished because of how legal systems are designed. Canada, like some countries, presumes innocence until guilt is proved ‘beyond a reasonable doubt’. And this holds even if we know damn well a male is guilty because he is caught raping in the act or he was stupid and arrogant enough to record himself raping someone on video and then posted it online. Often, there are technicalities or rhetorical manipulations that interfere with achieving justice. Facts and truth don’t really matter. And here we get at the difference between ‘legal innocence’ and ‘actual innocence’. If a male is found to be legally innocent (aka ‘not guilty’) of a crime, it just means the prosecution wasn’t able to convince verdict-deciders of guilt. He may not have ‘actual innocence’ (aka he did the crime), but for one reason or another, the justice system failed yet another female victim, just as it was meant to. In crimes against women, male innocence usually comes down to ‘he said, she said’ as well as our social contract not to ‘ruin a man or boy’s life’ after he has ruined the life of a woman or girl.
Another murky area centres on mental competence. To be deemed competent, such that a person can stand trial, an accused has to have an understanding of how the law works and the difference between right and wrong. And we determine competence all the time both inside and outside of court rooms. And it is problematic because even if you can show that a perpetrator isn’t fully able to understand what is going on, he can still be dangerous and a massive future threat to women and girls. We see this with, say, the mentally retarded and mentally ill, drunk or drugged-up males, and with boys under the age of majority in the location of the crime. The hoi polloi will generally gift males in these categories with automatic ‘innocence’ designations, and you’ll get the usual bullshit about the need for educating or supporting or rehabilitating the deficient in question, which of course, never has and never will work.
In the court room, it is really hit or miss. Legal experts tell us that it is very difficult for someone to successfully be excused from regular court procedings on the basis of mental health interference. I don’t know. This might be true. Men try it all the time. We just had a case in Canada, where Armenian-Iranian, autistic, publicly self-admitted incel, Alek Minassian, tried to sidestep criminal responsibility for driving his van into a crowd of women in Toronto and killing 10 people. He tried out the whole “autism made me do it!!! Waaaaah!!! I’m innocent!!!” gambit. But in a strange stroke of luck, the courts decided the autism didn’t cause the mass murder (um, no kidding…). He has been sentenced for 10 counts of first-degree murder and 16 counts of attempted murder. One victim has since died. Apparently, we know he understands right and wrong because of his online rants about killing women. Men tell us all the time that hate thoughts and hate speech don’t lead to hate crimes. Yeah right. Anyhow, the female judge was, in my opinion, lenient. Minassian was given a life sentence with a chance at parole after 25 years. He was given 20 years for the attempted murders, although they are to be served concurently, which is pointless. So this means that this human garbage will likely be out in public at the age of 50, vigourous enough to kill more women. I love liberal, woman-hating Canada.
Another little story, as I’m feeling all digressy today – an amusing bit of racism (legal? who knows?) I experienced in Taiwan years ago. I was at the end of a job interview, and the interviewer offered me a position and let me know that they would be withholding several months of my pay. I looked at her and asked “Why?” (my favourite question). She explained that foreigners couldn’t be trusted, so they felt justified in holding their legally-earned compensation hostage until they decided they felt ‘safe’. I replied with “Guilty until proven innocent?” She smiled at the smart, white monkey, and said, “Yes.” I stood up, said, “Thank you,” and left her office without another word. She literally called me more than 20 times a day for a few weeks, which, I discovered is a strangely common ‘thing’ with the Taiwanese, who are an unexpectedly aggressive and nasty culture of people. I never answered her call once and eventually, she went away. If you ever decide to work in Taiwan, be warned. They are racist as fuck, and can smell innocence of the third type from a mile away.
2) The Sticky Spot – Are Women Responsible for the Suffering of Females as a Class?
Still within the realm of the law, but also ethics, and which is also sometimes murky as hell is determining the role of a victim in crimes against herself, her children, or other females. And I reference the second part of the definition of innocence:
the state of not having responsibility for or being directly involved in an event, yet suffering its consequences
I think a lot of people confuse the concepts of responsibility and deservedness when considering female innocence, so I’ll start off by saying that females don’t cause male violence, nor do they ever, ever deserve male violence, even if they themselves are the worst kind of human. I’d prefer female crimes against women and girls to be dealt with within a council solely consisting of objective women, but that is just a fantasy I have.
But can we answer the question of whether females support and contribute to the system of male violence? Absolutely. Think of it this way: if women fought back against males as a group, patriarchy wouldn’t exist as the formidible system that it is. As it is, women tend to accept and enable what males do, and even actively harm other women and girls in order to gain approval from men. So there is definitely a major responsibility that most women refuse to take for perpetuating a bad situation. Participating in heterosexuality, femininity, breeding, enabling sons and hobbling daughters are the top ways to ensure that violence against all women and girls continues. All of this behaviour is political, meaning that actions have meaning and implications for others. Your behaviour doesn’t exist in a vacuum. And most important is not you, individually, but the fact that your male-supporting behaviour harms little girls who have no choice about their birth into patriarchy, and lesbians and women who don’t particpate in heterosexuality, but who do so much of the hetero cleaning and patching up. The only way to stop men is to deny their supply of pussy and emotional, intellectual and physical gynergy. If you are supporting male systems, you are not truly innocent of crimes against females as a class. But like I said, you also don’t deserve male violence. Is this clear? Please take responsibility for the harms you aid and abet, even if you are not the one holding the gun, so to speak.
3) Innocence, Morally- and Experientially-Speaking
naivité, purity, or the lack of guile or corruption
I’m going to try not to venture into the sex stuff in this section, even though, for females only, moral innocence is entwined with sex. Males define females as sex and sex parts and sex servicers, primarily, so it makes sense that female ‘innocence’ cannot be separated from sex.
Thanks mostly to the religions of the world, innocence is a central theme of childhood (again, I’m going to try not to touch on pedophiles here in this section – well maybe a little). There is this strange, magical or ethereal quality attached to the ‘innocence of a child’, perhaps because it is human to have regrets, and regret tends to result from wearing rose-coloured glasses and the normal failures of memory to recall things accurately. Part of this mystical childhood innocence, of course, stems from adult male fascination with possession and destruction, and pedophelia is all about control and power and revelling in causing suffering. What could be sexier to a male than possessing and destroying a magical being? Anyhow, philosophers, psychologists and others attempt to describe this quality called ‘innocence’ as various things from the objective, untainted perspective children have, to a filtering mechanism allowing the individual to engage or disengage with topics of uncertainty. I find it all a bit bizarre, myself, but then again, I don’t wax poetic about my childhood or childhood in general. It wasn’t magical, and I was happy to leave it behind.
In some camps, there is an implication of sullying when innocence is lost. The idea of pure vs corrupted – and this tends to be associated with entertaining vice of any sort, not just sex – is strongly associated with subjective morality and heavy-handed value judgements. At what point is innocence lost according to most people? It usually depends on the sex of the person, the particular activity engaged in, and sometimes whether the activity was engaged in willingly or unwillingly.
To me, what is called ‘innocence’ is just a lack of life experience. I’m not even going to include education in this because it doesn’t guarantee the gaining of experience or knowledge. And I generally don’t attach any value judgement to innocence. I sometimes run into normal-intelligence adult people who seem to me to lack a basic understanding of things that most adults seem to/should know about. So sometimes, I start to wonder whether people really are just inexperienced, perhaps a little clueless because of personality or specific aspects of cognitive ability, or just willingly ignorant. Personally, I like people who are willing to try something/anything once (unless it involves infringing upon others’ rights) and to learn from that boundary-pushing. I don’t think you can talk about things you haven’t experienced with any kind of credibility, so perhaps I do have some value judgement in that I think ‘innocent’ people aren’t really that interesting or useful or able to contribute to learning/teaching/problem-solving. But I don’t find most moralizing all that helpful – I think I get by better than most using my very simple principle of trying not to trample on others’ rights – something akin to the religious ‘golden rule’ that, ironically, most religious people completely fail to achieve in the most basic of ways.
4) Innocence, Sexually-Speaking
used euphemistically to refer to a person’s virginity
Okay, as the definition was taken from a typical male dictionary, we see reference to ‘person’ when we know damned well that the ‘people’ whose virginity matters is female people. In some places and times, a male might be criticized for still being sexually innocent – he should be out raping like there is no tomorrow, right? But he isn’t cast out of society or devalued in a serious way if he hasn’t raped by a certain age. For females, however, their cunts define their basic value as a person, and once that hole has been filled, their value plummets. Their ‘innocence’ is lost. (Shit, is ‘innocence’ just a hole? she jests…) I wonder, more seriously, in the case of female virginity, whether innocence is another way of saying ‘lack of suffering’. I truly believe that once exposed to the demands of males, females’ lives become infinitely worse in so many ways.
There may be justification in rooting the concept of female sexual innocence, not only in religion, but in pedophelia. Males have always been obsessed with conquering, controlling, and taking things away from females, including possessions, bodily autonomy, ideas and products they create, and in this discussion, their lack of exposure to suffering (or ‘innocence’). It is something to think more on. I also have noted that many pedophiles (and rapists of adult women, for that matter) have insisted on their own legal/moral innocence by implying that the female child or adult woman was the guilty and/or beguiling party. It wasn’t rape because the little girl or woman begged for it, or even worse, made them do it. Um no.
The idea of ‘soiling’ a female has been a concept, well… forever. It still is in most parts of the world. In more ‘liberated’ places, there may be constraints placed on level of soiling, depending on how many dicks have come a-knocking, or at what age virginity was lost, whether soiling was done by rape-rape or consensual rape (aka consensual sex), etc. But the common theme across time and place is that dick devalues women and girls. Now notice that the filth is caused by the presence of the penis – this is what has always confused me. If the penis is the cause of the contamination, then why isn’t the penis vilified? A female is ‘clean’ until the filth touches her, and then she is forever tainted biologically, socially, and sometimes, financially. Shouldn’t all males, simply by having a filthy penis (including newborn babies, logically) be vilified, devalued and cast out? I daringly posed this question to a group of high school girls I was teaching in Central Asia, and I got some vigourous head nods from a handful of them. It was encouraging.
But all of this makes sense to me. I am female separatist and therefore make my decisions based on logic and ethical reasoning as much as I possibly can. If you want to keep your body free from sexual disease, male violence, and other problems, you need to stay completely away from cock altogether. I mean, it is a no-brainer. Males spread disease and cause other problems for women’s and girls’ systems. So I do devalue the penis, based on facts and logic. But to maintain their power, males must rely on lies and illogic. Smoke and mirrors. And completely simplistic, dichotomous thinking. Virgin/whore. Pure/tainted. False dichotomies represent the world in which women live, and the very thin (imaginary) lines between male-constructed lady-categories maintain male power in the following ways:
a) They put women into unnatural and alien dichotomous categories (neither of which is actually a good place to be) based on factors usually completely beyond female control;
b) They use these categories to morally, and often legally, justify a whole range of horrific treatment against women, including rape and other sexual abuse, physical abuse, denial of economic opportunity, incarceration, torture, and death;
c) They pit women in different categories against each other to prevent any possibility of female solidarity (i.e., threat to male power).
Conclusion
Do women need the concept of ‘innocence’ as it pertains to their own bodies and safety? In my opinion, the answer is a resounding NO! There is no group of females that deserves to be raped or sexually assaulted or vilified because of value-based categories they are forced into by males. And it is a concept that has only served to police women’s behaviour, thoughts, precarious place in society, and their very ability to survive. Away from heterosexuality, innocence has no meaning for women. Even as a concept in the justice system, it would have little use if women could live separately from males. Away from males, women would be involved in so few serious crimes (mostly as victims, but also as perpetrators), that legal proceedings would likely just involve mediation rather than imprisonment. And innocence would have little meaning. And ‘virginity’ would be meaningless. Away from males, I actually think sexual activity would be so much less important or defining than it is when males control the show. So NO! to innocence.
But we all know where our use of ‘NO!‘ has gotten us throughout time.
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G is for Girl
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
I’ve been hemming and hawing for days now over which of my select g-words to choose for the next post of the Alphabet Series. But it was settled for me this morning as I was walking down a relatively empty downtown street and noticed a series of posters serving as advertisements for a convenience store. Each poster featured a larger-than-life head and torso shot of an individual consuming one of those disgusting slushie (crushed ice and flavoured sugar water and various chemicals) drinks. Different ages and races, and males/females were represented. And here is what stood out for me. There was a single poster that had been mutilated, and it was the only poster featuring a young white girl. All the other posters were intact – no non-white females of any age were mutilated and no males of any race or age were touched.
There is something about posters that gives them a sort of dog-whistle-like ability – a silent beacon, if you will – to attract the less intelligent and more passive aggressive of society. And it isn’t anti-capitalism activists who heed the call – it is assholes and the stupid. For some reason, they see a poster and the drive to destroy kicks in. Is it funny? Is it a safer and more accessible outlet than hurting actual people? Who the hell knows. I’ve never felt the call to vandalize. But I do notice the results. No blind eye turned here! I notice poster content first, and then I look for the requisite mutilation and, most importantly, who the targets are. Here is what I’ve noticed over many years.
- Females are targeted for mutilation most of the time.
- Males are seldom targets – even the poor Oppressed Black Male TM is seldom mutilated. (Could it be that black male lives matter more than women and girls’ lives…?)
- White female poster characters are more likely to be mutilated than non-white females. [An aside: White females are also more likely to be sexualized/pornified in posters – and I’ve seen this in non-Western countries as well as Western. And the more capitalistic the place is, the worse the white female sexploitation there is. I’ve documented a tiny sliver of the public portrayal of white females, including posterized females, in a few posts listed in my White Girl series.]
Now the big question here is whether girls are mutilated more than adult females… And so we get to the larger topic here.
G is for Girl.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to break out into song with Madonna’s “What It Feels Like for a Girl”. Super dumb song with super dumb lyrics – I mean, really, can you take seriously anything said by a straight (or whatever the hell she is calling herself today), super-pornified, proud sex-pozzie that has capitalized immensely off of peddling sexy, sexy slutdom to impressionable young girls? From birth, for the last few decades, girls have been bombarded by:
- mixed messages from adult women about womanhood,
- grooming for enthusiastic sexual servitude by adult women (see this post here as one small example if you don’t believe me, and be prepared to be creeped out and saddened), and
- evidence of the complete inability of adult women to understand the actual and more serious root (aka male domination) of whatever minor oppression they complain about when not actively engaged in sucking a dick.
And to make things much worse, these influential, ignorant and mindfucking adult women are, first and foremost, the very mothers of these little girls. Confusion or what! This is what it feels like for a girl – at least in Western cultures. No wonder there are so many bloody identity and confidence problems here. We’re all supposed to grow up to be honourable, sexual, innocent, slutty, compassionate, fierce, subservient, empowered, sexy bitches (don’t forget the bitches!!!) What an incongruent mix of incomprehensible, archetypal bullshit! Welcome to being a girl in the Wild West.
Anyhow, before I dive in in a more organized way, I’ll just say that I considered other g-words for this post, including: G is for gaslighting (one of the most important tools in a narcissist’s toolbox, and something ALL females experience), g-spot (it’s not the 1990’s anymore, so we don’t need to talk it about ever again, right?), gang rape, grief, gynocentrism (which I consider to be real feminism and of course, it is much criticized and), god/goddess (why is replacing an imaginary male with an imaginary female an improvement, btw??? Please join reality, ladies. Please.), and grooming (which I’ll talk about in this post).
And of course, the g-word that I wish I could garrote, then swing at with a machete and then hack at with an axe, and then finally shoot in the face 10,000 times just to make sure it’s dead: <<< G is for Gender >>> Some might have thought I would have chosen that one to focus on – it is extraordinarily relevant to female slavery, after all. But I’ve commented on it a lot in many past posts, especially those dealing with the trans cult. All that needs to be said is this: gender is a social construct designed to force females into the inferiority box and keep males running the show, violently with impunity; biological sex is an immutable fact and there are only two of them (sexes) contrary to the delusions of the psychotic (trannies) and liberal child-abusers. These are non-negotiable terms with long-established real meanings. And trying to reverse their meanings (which has been hugely successful – evidence that trannyism is an anti-woman movement) just smacks of a complete lack of intelligence and is embarrassingly and unacceptably anti-science in this day and age.
Anyhow, today, G is for Girl.
I’m going to be very careful here not to delve too deeply into mothers and motherhood or the process of brainwashing / grooming because the former is going to be my M-word in this series, and the latter is going to be the subject of an upcoming separate series and, to me, a fascinating subject. But I’ll touch on them because they are both crucial in completely breaking down and then reconstructing girls into the scary robot-monsters that 99% of adult women are today. As a disclaimer, I am a partially blackpilled feminist-type, and while I do believe males and females are born with different stuff that makes it easier for one to violently dominate and get away with his behaviour and the other to be dominated and to accept her fate relatively unchallenged, I also believe that sociological and psychological processes play a significant role in making sure things don’t change on a systematic level. They are interdependent. But unlike adherents of either camp, I believe that women can escape aspects of their biology and ALL of their socialization. You seldom see it happen though, because it will be an uphill battle with NO support. But it is possible.
Okay, let’s dive in. Keep in mind that I am writing from a Canadian perspective, so in your part of the world, you may see differences. But the thing that is similar for girls around the world is that they are treated as less than boys EVERYWHERE, and will be brainwashed to remain and accept being less in preparation for adulthood.
Let’s Get Real, So-Called Activists
There is no segment of the population anywhere in the world more vulnerable, abused, neglected, unprotected, and un-advocated for than girls. And by girls, (christ, I shouldn’t have to define this… but I realize science or logic or critical thinking aren’t cool or hip these days…) I mean XX-chromosomed (aka ‘female’) humans under the age of 18. Not ‘sissy boys’ who like wearing nail polish and masturbating while trying on their mother’s clothes. Not grown-ass men with mental health and sexual perversion and violence problems. Not even females 18 years of age or over. I don’t care about people’s self-developed or enforced identities that contradict biological facts. Thinking you are a donkey doesn’t turn you into a donkey (although, you may make a credible ass…), if you catch my drift.
Born to Submit and Whore
Girls have things stacked against them even before they are born. If you think about sex-selective abortion, a female is more likely to be scraped or sucked out than a male. And note here that I am not lamenting that abortion occurs – I am an anti-natalist – I just have a problem with the incomprehensible belief that males have more value than females… but I guess if you like weapons… If you look at Wikipedia, they say abortion is “most common where male children are valued over female children”. I laughed for a bit – clearly this was written by a male or cock proxy. There is no place on earth where male children aren’t valued over female children. So let’s reword Scrotalpedia’s error: it’s “most common where either a one-child policy exists or where the resources available to maintain familial dependents are severely limited”. Because let’s face it – if any ‘advanced’ or ‘rich’ country suddenly had a one-child policy forced upon it, guess what would happen??? Exactly. Female fetus abortion and female infanticide would suddenly be a thing.
The sexualization and genderization of females also begins before birth. First off, no matter how open-minded parents think they are, I guarantee you that almost all parents have expectations that their girl-child will grow up to be a nice little heterosexual breeding machine. She’ll go to school, meet a boy, get married, maybe have a job that doesn’t upstage the husband, and will have baybees. Most parents will have no problem with the idea that their daughter’s career will be put aside, maybe permanently. She’ll also take care of her parents when they get old. There will be some variations on the theme depending on where the girl grows up, whether religion is present in the house, and how traditional the family is. But no matter how free-thinking, no parents envision a life for their daughter separate from males, and they certainly don’t wish for lesbianism or a child-free life.
Parents who know they are having a girl child will often decorate baby rooms with cutesy shit and pink everything (or whatever colour that represents femininity and softness and sweetness in their culture), and fantasize about all the little dresses and bullshit they’ll put their sweet girl in. After birth, all people will say is how ‘beautiful’ the girl baby is. Boys will be allowed other compliments and predictions about his future success. But hey, guess what? All baybees, male and female, look pretty much the same for the first couple of years – guess why they colour-code the clothing… so they can tell which ones are girls and treat them accordingly – as future fuckholes – and will start planning her cutesy girl life with a focus on fashion and appropriate (feminine) extracurricular activities. All the toys will involve dolls and fashion and maybe cooking/cleaning/care-taking activities, regardless of what natural proclivities or talents the young girl shows. A few parents might consider ‘gender neutral’ toys, but by and large, there is still always a massive amount of unconscious parental grooming and socializing of the girl. She also almost always has heterosexual parents who model male domination styles, even if they don’t think they are doing so. There is no such thing as an ‘equal’ heterosexual partnership, so the messaging that is sent to girl children in a thousand and one ways is that mother does X and father does Y, with X always being the shit end of the stick. As I’ve said before, I plan to talk about hetero-female brainwashing in a separate series, so I won’t get into all the psychological mindfuckery parents inflict upon their daughters here. Suffice it to say that almost all parents successfully prepare their daughters to be future, unquestioning, pliant victims of men and male-dominated society. And the sad thing is that under the child-ownership, family unit model of raising children, many girls grow up with emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual abuse (much more prevalent for girls than boys) and no way of either reporting it or escaping it.
School, Teachers, and Other People’s Monsters
Parents get a good start on destroying their girls, but then the latter have to enter society in the form of school. And it is here where even girls with a relatively good start, family-wise, really get broken down. At the age of 12, in Canada, only a third of girls say they have self-confidence, and suicide is the third most common cause of death. By the age of 15-16, the percentage of self-confident girls drops to 14%, and suicide is the second leading cause of death. School-aged girls in Canada are 3 times as likely to be medicated for depression and related issues than boys, are hospitalized more than boys for ‘mental health reasons’, are self-harming in unseen-before numbers, and are twice as likely as boys to be cyberbullied. Sexual assaults of girls are common, but the numbers are hard to get a grasp on. Girls are NOT taught about sexual assault or harassment either at home or at school as a rule. They are also not believed if they are brave enough to report inappropriate behaviours or full on assaults. Girls are frequently punished for fighting back against boys who attack them, especially if they trounce the predator in question, and especially if a boy-mom gets involved in what will end up being a career of defending her son’s future rape and assault charges. And the social repercussions of reporting can be devastating as females are almost always blamed for what boys and men do to them. So it’s a no-win situation. Basically, they are fucked no matter what happens. They are punished first through the assault itself regardless of whether anyone finds out. Then, if it becomes known, they are punished for supposedly ‘causing’ the assault, they are punished for fighting back (especially if they win), and they are punished for daring to cause a fuss. I strongly suspect that as trannies are more embraced in schools and trannyism becomes part of the liberal educational curriculum, sexual assaults of girls by ‘trans girls’ (aka boys) will skyrocket. The interesting thing is that despite the constant violence and intimidation of girls, they still do better academically than boys. I am a long-time educator in multiple countries, and I’ve written about male student inadequacy before. The thing that bites here is that despite girls’ clear superiority, their childhood brainwashing, the continuous violence and intimidation they experience in school, and the universal societal hatred of females that manifests on every level of the system ensures that female competence won’t pay off, females won’t fight it, and that incompetent males will always be undeservedly rewarded and supported by everyone.
Myself, I remember being beat up by a group of boys for the first time when I was 5, my first sexual assault by a boy occurred when I was 6, and then it is a blur of being punched in the stomach, being punched in the pudendum, punched in the tit, and countless other violations by boy students over the years. We are always told that when boys do these things, it means they like us. So we learn early on that being female and being loved are about suffering and violence. If you don’t accept it, there is something wrong with you and you are going to end up unwanted and alone. If you were abused at home as a girl, this is an additional threat, as love was always conditional upon you accepting the abuse there, too. And if you got ‘loved’ it was always accompanied by suffering.
I had at least two male pedophile teachers. My grade 6 teacher (I was 11) was very touchy with me and other girl students, and there were endless sexual comments, bra snapping, prejudice and more throughout years of public school. Not once did I ever say anything to anyone. Not about the male students. Not about the teachers. So how can we estimate the prevalence of the breaking down of girl students through sex-specific violence and intimidation when even an above-average student won’t speak up? We know early on that we are in no way protected. Home isn’t always safe, school is seldom safe, and once you hit adulthood, you are fully groomed for large-scale systemic woman-hatred.
Oh, and as an aside, girls friendships don’t do much to help protect against systemic childhood misogyny. See my post on friendship for more on what girls can expect from each other.
Girls and Sexual Abuse
Much, much more attention is paid to the sexual abuse of boy children despite the fact that many, many more girls are sexually abused – and this is contrary to what boy-advocates would tell you (i.e., that girls get all the press). Why might this be? Well, my theory is pretty simple. Boys are not defined by their sexual attributes, while girls are only defined by their sexual attributes. Parents and societies do not build a boy’s identity on his sexual attractiveness. His success will never be dependent upon his physical looks. He is allowed to be smart, and talented, and good at sports, and strong, and social, and a whole host of other things that are allowed to full humans. Girls, from birth, are defined by how they look, and it increases as their bodies develop. By the early teen years, it is apparent (in Western culture, at least) that a girl is three fuckholes and a pair of tits. And every girl knows it on some level. If she has an attractive face, all the better, but even a ‘butterface’ (gross slang meaning that everything about a girl is attractive but her face) has some value as a fuck object only. So a girl is seen as little more than a sexual plaything for males. But, as I said, boys are human. If we pay too much attention to assaults against girls, then boys will somehow lose. And besides, we have to keep grooming little girls for what they will be required to accept in teen dating and adulthood dating and marriage. If you get girls to accept sexual assault as normal, they will make the perfect heterosexual adult women.
Pedophiles: Most pedophiles, are of course, male. And of course, there is a movement (like there always is when male violence and depravity have a spotlight briefly shone on them) to try to prove that there is a larger than life female pedo population. I call bullshit. I have never once seen a female teacher speak or behave sexually inappropriately with a child (except on TV…), but I’ve witnessed and experienced tons of male teachers do so. I’ve never, ever once met, overheard, or read anywhere a woman waxing on about sexy little boys (or even teenaged boys) they want to screw, but I have heard and read it literally thousands and thousands and thousands of times by men talking about wanting to fuck/rape/mess up girls. And there is the presence of deliberate violence in a lot of men’s words. But this makes sense to me as I don’t see male sexuality as separate from their violence. Having penetrative sex with women and girls is ultimately a violent act.
If you read the professional literature on pedos, we hear that roughly 1% of males are ‘true pedophiles’ (i.e., a ‘preference disorder’). But pedophilic fantasizing is present in 5% of males. I think that is very, very conservative, and the idea that fantasizing about raping little girls and teen girls doesn’t make you a pedophile is nonsense. Personally, I think if males knew for certain that they would never, ever, ever get caught, most would rape a child (mostly girls, but probably a few boys would figure in the mix too). I also think many would violate an animal, and of course, most men already stick their dicks in inanimate objects on a regular basis. (I’ve written about male sexuality before.) Males are born wrong, become more wrong through the sociological system they construct and fight to keep, and no one does anything about it except lament that life isn’t fair. Hmm, this isn’t exactly an issue of ‘fairness’.
I also wrote a post in the past considering how many female ‘beauty’ rituals are just ways of keeping pedophilic male tendencies focused on adult females.
Sex Trafficking: The only reason we have pornography and prostitution is because males exist. I firmly believe it wouldn’t exist if men/boys weren’t around. If you are a het woman who is reading this and are yelling at the screen that this isn’t true, I would suggest that you have been well and fully brainwashed and need to deprogram yourself. Many women have managed to escape from the porn-watching loop that males have introduced them to, and they tend to report being unable to believe they ever were able to watch it and pair it with love or female sexuality. Pornography, like prostitution, is dependent upon sex trafficking and forced drug addiction in females, so that they can make it through the pain, suffering and degradation, and then somehow stumble back for more. Most victims of the sex trade are female and almost all are forced into it as children (average age 12-14 years). They can be domestic and internationally enslaved girls. The former are very often runaways that end up in terrible situations that started out on the surface looking like protection. One might find it hard to imagine how a girl can be tricked into slavery, but it is quite common, especially when a girl is afraid, vulnerable, desperate because of poverty, and already the victim of childhood abuse. There isn’t a parent on the planet who talks to their daughters about trafficking (remember, girls are taught to trust males, not suspect them like a feminazi would…), and many of the girls who end up in the sex trade were fleeing sexual and other abuse anyways. They are primed for male ‘protection’ (abuse).
(The Internet Watch Foundation works to protect child victims of pornography – they remove 1,000 pages of child porn from the internet each and every week. And the porn never stops. Because of men. Never fear though – lady porn remains because women can ‘consent’ to their abuse, while children cannot. Fine line, imo.)
A Few Other Things To Think About
I want to close this long post, but before I do, I’ll mention a few other notes that are relevant to girls. First is infantalization and how it leaks into adulthood. I wrote a post on the topic here as a comment on how there is no true equivalent to ’emasculation’ for women because you can’t strip power from someone if they had no power to begin with. Women as a class don’t have power, so the closest you get is ‘infantalization’ – which is a way to prevent women from ever having power or even feeling they deserve to have any. The instilling of powerlessness in females starts very young. And this leaks into the next thing I want to mention: referring to adult females as ‘girls’. It is part of infantalization, and men don’t experience it. This is common in the West, but I’ve also noticed it as a common acceptable practice in places like China. Women refer to themselves as ‘girls’ and almost never as ‘women’. Woman refers not to a regular adult woman, but as a mature, matronly type – an older person, which no woman is supposed to want. Many young women even go so far as to call themselves ‘baby ladies’ or ‘baby girls’, which is this idealized, infantalized, but also desirable/sexy adult female. It is so bizarre and repulsive to me. But it is very common.
I also ran into the whole ‘girl’ thing when I was a young grad student in the US. I noticed a rather yucky poster one day on the wall in my department talking about girls and men, and I emailed the contact on the poster to ask them about the sexist language. I got a nasty, racist, elitist reply from a black woman, sorry – girl – who said the poster came from her black sorority that was, she was proud to tell me, filled with wealthy, prominent, black women. And this was the way they talked. So there. Well, fuck me. Rich, super-privileged black ‘girls’ promoting sexism, and expecting an economically disadvantaged, foreign-with-no-legal-rights, white female to support their leg-spreading cock-suckage. I love this world, and what constitutes oppression and who is promoting it and making sure it never dies… I don’t engage with racists or misogynists as a rule, so I didn’t bother answering this rich American woman. My personal philosophy is to refer to adult women as women to give them the respect they deserve, instead of infantalizing them in the name of supporting male pedophilic tendencies.
Conclusion
Now, like I said earlier and have said many times before, I am an anti-natalist. For many reasons, actually. I have been since I was about 10 years of age. I once, as an early 20-something, had a dream that I was holding a swaddled child and realized that I was preparing a bowl of dog kibble for it, and when I looked down, I had a puppy in my arms. That is my idea of having a child. I’ve since expanded my worldview to include cats… Anyhow, I’m an anti-natalist. I have a massive amount of experience with children throughout most of my life – probably more than most mothers who turn their noses up at the child-free – and I would say with honesty that I’ve helped many. But I wouldn’t say I have a general love of them. They are exhausting. I dislike boy children immensely, and find myself looking at them wondering when they will start raping and creating problems for more than just their mothers and sisters. I am a bit mixed about girls. I feel protective of them, generally speaking. I know they have no advocates or protectors; their mothers are often their biggest betrayers and earliest destroyers. But many girls start showing their future brainwashed fembot monster selves even in childhood, and although it isn’t their fault they are turning out that way, I cringe in revulsion at the child abuse that creates that sort of crafted persona. I don’t like tomboys much either. Yeah, really. I don’t like either end of the gender-spectrum, and tomboys and adult butches don’t solve anything for womanhood, in my opinion, as gender expression is constructed, not innate. But as long as they are not sexist or abusive to women, I don’t really care too much. They may not solve anything, but they generally are not the problem. I do, however, have a very soft spot for quiet, intelligent girls who defy forced gender streaming altogether – and are what I call ‘divergent’ (not to be confused with the definition from Veronica Roth’s book series, but the idea has some similarities). They aren’t masculine, they aren’t feminine, they are adaptable and versatile, and they are able to feel comfortable doing any number of activities regardless of for whom they are deemed more appropriate. It is also harder for them to find their community as they don’t fit into any kind of stereotyped box. These are my girls, and if I am lucky enough to find one, I’ll do anything to support and protect them.
♀️ If you care to support Story Ending Never, we are appreciative. ⚢
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A few links with stats, etc.
Barriers for Girls – the Canadian Women’s Foundation
Child Pornography – A Few Stats – Children’s Advocacy Center
D is for Diversity
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
And so we are on to D of the Alphabet Series, and though my posts are usually helped along with a little bit of D is for Drinking, I’m doing this one stone cold sober. And I’m choosing a different D word. There are so many delightful words to choose from. To name a handful, D is for disease, dick (and all the fun words you can make with it), deprogramming, double standard, delusion, domination, degradation, danger, death penalty, doormat, double D’s, damsel in distress, death, and more.
But no, I’m choosing one that, if I had a shit list for overused and obnoxious words from the year 2020, diversity would be on it and near the top. And at the rate things are going, it’ll be on my 2021 shit list as well. Oh, hell, who am I kidding – I DO have a word shit list. It’s on my About This Site page that I wrote back in 2015 when I started this blog, and which I’ve been updating over the years as I find yet more people I have no desire to interact with. There, you’ll find a word/phrase shit list (under Reason Number 2 why I don’t allow comments on this blog) made up of liberal / po-mo goober-speak. And my d-word has been on the list for a few years now.
D is for Diversity.
Now, I don’t want to give the impression that I think diversity is a bad thing. Not at all. But like with most things, I embrace the natural, and abhor the forced. Natural diversity is an awesome thing, and I’ll spend a little time talking about that. Then I’ll get to the problematic shit: the forced and unnatural (intentional and unintentional) diversity. If you’ve read anything from my sexuality series, you’ll know I believe that the human male, in his need to control and destroy in the name of love, creativity, and curiosity (but which is really just arrogance, ignorance, selfishness, sadism and a quest for power at all cost), has ended up forcing a lot of unnatural conditions. Diversity is only one of these situations.
So let’s get to it, and in the name of flowers and sunshine and happy stuff, let’s talk about the positives, first. Natural diversity.
Natural Diversity
During the second half of 2019, while I was embarking on the risky adventure of leaving employment in China for unemployment in not-China, I found myself enrolled in a community college Bachelor transfer program in the US. I’m not going to get into that whole bizarro experience in this post, but looking at it now, a year after the school thing fell apart due to the pandemic, I regret choosing the US over France, which was the other option I’d had at the time. But there were glimmers of excellence – there always are, even in the shittiest of circumstances. One of these glimmers was the fall semester I spent in an Ecology course. I’ll admit that I only took the class because I was forced to take electives – don’t get me started on one-size-fits-all models of education… – but luckily, the instructor was stellar and loved her subject area, and ecology, at least, was related to my major. It’s actually a subject everyone should study at the very least online and for free (I highly recommend Coursera for free courses in many different subject areas. And while there, do a quick search on ‘ecology’ to see what they have going on.)
One of the key concepts in ecology and related disciplines is biodiversity, which very basically, means variety of life (species). Biodiversity is the hallmark of a healthy ecosystem, meaning the greater the number and variety of species naturally cohabiting in a region, the healthier the area, ecologically speaking. Greater biodiversity equals better adaptation to threats (e.g., human fuckery, natural disasters, etc.) There are several well-known, and mostly poorly conserved, biodiversity hotspots around the world – I’ve pulled a map and legend from the World Wildlife Fund (I’ve enlarged it – and you can click it for the full size) that shows unique and/or rich biodiversity zones around the world.
(Click to Enlarge)
The key thing to remember is that when we talk about biodiversity, we are talking about the natural. Things grow where conditions are optimal for their biology, and Nature has her way of keeping populations in check. The forager-food / predator-prey foodchain is one of these common systems of balance-keeping. Adaptation is another effective system – change to accommodate things happening in the environment, or die out. And these natural balancing mechanisms work extremely well with all but one species, and I’ll give you a billion imaginary dollars – golden feminist turds, if you prefer – if you can guess which one 😉 Which brings me to the less-pleasant-to-contemplate portion of this post.
Unnatural and Forced Diversity – Male Greed, Ignorance and Hubris
It is natural and biological for human males to brutalize and destroy. They do it in the name of creativity, problem-solving, exploration, and they even try to explain it away as ‘survival’. Very few call it what it really is: the quest for power and control.
So, building on this, let’s say you have a beautifully functioning system. I’m talking about natural, bio systems primarily, but you can apply this to any system you can imagine. Then you introduce human males into the system. In less time than it takes to say “hot mess of the scrotal variety”, you will find a massive dick-shaped wrench thrown into what was originally a well-oiled machine. And while some systems (biological ones, especially) will work things out over time if left alone, they NEVER get the chance to do so for two reasons. First, it is written into male DNA to mess with things, even if told not to in no uncertain terms. They fiddle, they diddle, they poke, they prod, they take, and they kill, and then they shrug it all off. And while utterly self-congratulatory about this fiddling, diddling, poking, prodding, taking and killing, they NEVER actually make things better. And second, males are always trying to deny their obsolescence – in other words, instead of making things better for the majority, they deliberately create problems so that they have something to fix or to ‘overcome’. If there are no problems to apply their maniliness to, then why the hell do they exist? Males dictated long ago the purpose of Woman – to breed and service men, and most women are too afraid and brainwashed to question this MANmade cage – but males have never really answered their own existential question. And this is what every single one of them wrestles with over the span of his life. And we all know what happens when males lack purpose and develop angst. They get really insecure and emotional, and take it out on women and the planet in the worst way they can manage. Sometimes, this destruction becomes a ‘purpose’. After all, for some, even god has a violent plan, right?
So, let’s dig deeper and look at intentional and unintentional unnatural diversity next, and then we’ll finish by addressing forced diversity and its evil twin: inclusivity. I’ll also address forced lack of diversity or forced uniformity. This won’t be comprehensive, but I’ll provide examples to illustrate what I’m talking about. Likely, people will become offended for one reason or another, even though I am just outlining observable phenomena and sometimes the personal experiences of myself and others. Try to hang in til the end.
1a) Unintentional, Unnatural Diversity
One of the best ways to illustrate this type of unnatural diversity is through the idea of invasive species, and despite not intending to cause problems, humans (most often men) are usually the reason it happens. Increased global travel over the centuries, and especially in the last century, has meant that travel vessels as well as import-export goods and shipping containers have been exposed to plants, sea creatures, insects, and animals in one place and then have moved on to another place. Plants, critters (and their offspring), and the various diseases and microorganisms that depend on these larger beings can ‘catch a ride’ and suddenly find themselves in a new ecosystem. Organisms that manage to survive the voyage and then find themselves undiscovered, released into the wild, AND without any natural predators to hunt them down can easily begin to take over the local flora and fauna. Ironically, an invasive species, while initially increasing biodiversity, technically, usually ends up causing a lack of diversity, and in some cases, serious ecosystem destruction.
On the human diversity side of things, I’d argue very strongly that complete denial about how racist, sexist, religious men operate coupled with lax border control and weak liberal politics over the last few decades in Western Europe have led to the massive influx of aggressive, but ‘oppressed’, Muslim male migrants and refugees of various ethnicities. This tidal wave has resulted in a diversity situation with unintended, semi-“invasive species” consequences. And note here, that it is not women who are the problem. The majority of refugees are female, as women are always the majority of victims of war, and they must be supported – although, I’d prefer only to allow their daughters to accompany them – not sons, for obvious reasons. Males, on the other hand, regardless of whether they are migrants or refugees, are always problematic and bring their local brand of misogyny and violence with them to the countries that welcome and support them and allow them to practise their woman-hating religions freely. One of the major problems is that young, single males visit a heap of sexual assault on local and tourist white women. And likely, out of fear of being labelled ‘islamophobes’, no one does anything about it. It’s only women being assaulted after all. Not humans.
***One prime example was the rash of sexual assaults of white women on New Year’s Eve in 2015 – including a volunteer policewoman – by gangs of Arab males in a Cologne, Hamburg and Frankfurt, Germany. Videos taken by locals of the events were pulled off YouTube within hours of upload and mainstream news delayed reporting on what amounted to about 120 reported sexual assaults, including one confirmed rape. Who knows how many ACTUAL assaults occurred – the speed at which white women are deemed racist these days when they report sexual assault by men outside their race defies logic. To add insult to literal injury, the mayor of Cologne, a woman, even laid the blame on German women, and instead of deporting the offenders, suggested that women keep strangers at arms length. The implication was that they were behaving like standard white Western sluts deserving of rape instead of like proper Muslim women who should be helped and pitied.
I myself have been physically and sexually assaulted by Arab and sometimes black males in every single European country I’ve been to except Czechia and Greece and on all but one trip I’ve made to Europe since 1996. Belgium, Germany and France have been the worst, by far. I wrote about a violent gang assault I experienced in Belgium when I was 24 – the first time I’d ever been strangled – where I thought I was going to die. So to me, and other white females I’ve talked to, and who, by the way, like me, have never reported their assaults – because what’s the point? – ‘invasive species’ is an apt analogy. When illegal and non-citizen males are given free reign to assault the local or a targeted race of women, the victims have no power to fight back, and when there is no one ‘predating on’ or exerting control over the interlopers, you have a near-definition of an invasive species. It may not have been intended, but the unnatural and unplanned diversity is highly problematic to females – not males, who ironically, tend to be the most vocal in opposing liberal policy on immigration. Women, stupidly and just like they’ve been trained to do, welcome diverse expressions of misogyny in with open arms and then are shocked when something inevitably happens to them. Why isn’t female safety a human right? Well, we all know the answer to that one. Only penis is human – even a raping penis.
1b) Intentional, Unnatural Diversity
There are times when men deliberately introduce species into foreign environments to serve selfish human purposes or add ‘variety’ to local options, and the results are unpredictable, but usually a problem. Other times, a desirable species from another place is brought in for labour or human comfort as we see with many domesticated pets and farm animals. There are often problems with deliberately introduced species catering to human selfishness. I’ll address food crops, and leave the pets and domesticated animals for now. Let’s explore.
When human males started exploring the world hundreds of years ago, they began to bring back the exotic to their homelands. New foods and spices, plants, animals made their way into local taste and customs providing an unheard of variety of flavours and experiences. This is part of every culture. All cultures have things they use that originated elsewhere, but that may have become ‘traditional’ after years of assimilation. A funny example from China – and I use China because I know more about their culture and their silliness than other foreign cultures, and also they get very superior and snobby when it comes to their culture. Food is an especially annoying area of snobbery. But did you know that the crucial ingredient to the important Szechuan (Sichuan) and Hunanese cuisines – the hot pepper – isn’t native to China? Indeed it is not. The Chinese have the Spanish and Portuguese of the 15th century to thank for introducing oral fire power, originally from the Americas, to their precious traditional food. Likewise with the regularly consumed peanuts and corn – and did you know you can get corn-on-the-cob at McDonald’s in China!
It has been reasoned by Russian plant researchers that the place with the greatest diversity in food crops indicates their origin (i.e., you’ll find more varieties of chili pepper in Central and South America than anywhere else because that is where they are originally from). Logically, as crops move to foreign lands, local peoples will select the varieties that taste and grow best, thus immediately increasing diversity in their diet, while decreasing diversity in plant genetics over time. And today, all around the world, we are seeing much less crop diversity – even in places where plants are native! – due to human meddling in genetics, industrialized farming and the loss of local, small-scale farmers who traditionally planted very local varieties. This doesn’t bode well for the food system at all. And yes, if you trace this problem back to its roots, it is because of male dominance, female slavery, the resultant overpopulation problem and male expansionist tendencies for appropriating resources from other lands and increasing their economic power. It always comes down to something along those lines if you are willing to examine modern problems honestly and in depth.
Check out the food origin map. Click to enlarge.
2a) Forced Diversity (and Inclusion)
Ring-a-ding-ding! As you may have guessed, this sub-topic is the one I’m most interested in from a political standpoint. It stains the entire political landscape in the modern Western world, and it represents a world of illogic, unfairness, sexism, racism, doublethink, and censorship, all wrapped up in a faux moral superiority / virtue signalling shit sandwich. It is, in short, one of the major accomplishments of modern male supremacists dressed up as anti-racism warriors.
All across North America and possibly even extending into Western Europe, you’ll find signage with slogans telling the world how wonderful (forced) diversity and its nasty sibling, inclusivity are. But when you’re forcing something to happen that isn’t natural, it ends up being kinda fake and giving privileges to some while trampling the rights of others. I’m not talking here about making white males mad because they don’t get all the available promotions through nepotism and old boys’ networks anymore. White male supremacy is forced exclusivity, and is thus unnatural. And I’m also not talking about making sure the sub-populations that are already present are represented in their communities. Organizations need to reflect the communities in which they operate – that is natural diversity and a matter of fairness. What I am referring to is deliberately hurting people for characteristics that they can’t change (race and sex), and forcing diversity where little to none may exist to begin with. Just as we don’t look down upon parts of the world where plant species aren’t as diverse, we should not do so with less naturally diverse human societies. And just as shipping a bunch of tropical plants to the tundra isn’t going to achieve anything, forcing human diversity has no objective value or purpose, which is to say that political agendas don’t necessarily have much value or meaning outside of winning popularity contests.
The basic premises of liberal Western diversity measures are that:
a) All white people are evil and racist and should be blamed for everything wrong in the life of a person who is not white,
b) A city or region or group that is unintentionally predominantly white MUST be injected with people who are not white – otherwise, it is not ‘diverse’, has no cultural value, and is therefore, evil,
c) Females are no longer permitted to call themselves women to the exclusion of non-females, and must allow their boundaries and privacy to be invaded and colonized by males. Not to do so is anti-diversity and literally [sic] akin to murder, and
d) Straight, bi or ‘queer’ are okay. Gay or lesbian are NOT. If you have to be homosexual, then you must still fuck people of the opposite sex (even if you have to pretend they are the same sex), because not to do so is not inclusive. Besides what is ‘biological sex’ anyways? Biology is not a science, but rather, a state of mind. Yes, a feeling. And stating facts is discriminatory and anti-diversity. So male is female is male is… wait, what? Well, you know what I mean.
The forced diversity gang (and it is a gang) runs on all sorts of bizarre anti-science, anti-evidence, anti-logic, catchy sound bites that are designed to rally approval-seekers, and to prevent women from talking about interracial oppression and crime, and preventing lesbians and other women from talking about having their rights as women taken away by men pretending to be women. I see the words diversity and inclusivity, a word meant to paint opponents as racist, anti-male, or anti-trans and to silence them, everywhere I go. On front lawns of private homes, on web sites, in store-front windows, and on public school billboards. It is creepy – like the communist propaganda posters you still see in China. You are likely familiar with some of the following:
Forced diversity means that women still aren’t getting ahead. Women are more than half the population everywhere, except where they are deliberately killed off by men and their handmaidens, and yet they aren’t included in this political push for diversity. They are still pushed aside so that males can take jobs, awards, and recognition. It is more important to change the natural composition of a local society for no logical reason other than racial guilt, than to ensure natural diversity is upheld (i.e, including women). [Hint: there is no guilt over misogyny since women will still fuck men regardless. No reparations necessary!] So this means that white women pay the price economically, legally, and socially for what white men have done in the past, while the white men remain untouched and highly employable. It might not be such a big deal to a straight white woman married to a safely employed and highly paid white male, but single white women get thrown under the bus in a number of ways, including being excluded in diversity mandates. And of those added to the mix, they tend to be male as well. Like I wrote in a past post, while looking at a PhD program at a university in a region of Canada that happened to be predominantly white, I looked hard at the composition of the department. I’ve had plenty of experience in departments where I’m not represented, and felt way too old to go through that again. I noticed that the department had no full-time female faculty, despite the field not being particularly male-dominant normally, but they had plenty of foreign males of other races and ethnicities, as well as the requisite stable of white males. I noticed that the university patted themselves on the back for upholding ‘diversity’, but if they truly embraced diversity, that department should have been half female. Forced diversity hurts women, and I’ve never seen an affirmative action program fix anything.
2b) Forced Homogeneity/Uniformity (and Exclusion)
Let’s finish off with the opposite of forced diversity. You know the words ‘pest’ and ‘weed’? Well, these are relative terms. In reality, all species of plant and animal has an equal ‘right’ to go about its business on the planet, and all have a place and purpose, no matter how small. It is only when humans decide that they are more important than all other living things that different species are valued or devalued. Some problematic species are easily managed through hunting or trapping, as in large game that venture into urban areas and kill innocent children, livestock or house pets. Usually, the problem isn’t the wild species; it is the fact that humans have taken its living space and it is hungry with limited access to food sources. Very quickly, species can become endangered if fear of them is high and if their bodies, body parts or body coverings have value. But sometimes, species are hard to manage solely through these means. One brilliant idea, especially with small critters, evasive critters, or critters living in large areas is to introduce what humans consider to be a ‘natural’ predator. Usually, it isn’t local, and the idea is that it will serve the intended purpose – eliminating or just managing unwanted or ‘dangerous’ species – and then either just die once the food source is gone or just blend in and chill. But that seldom happens.Very quickly, the target pest can become endangered, and you may even find out exactly what important role they played in their ecosystem. You also may suddenly find that the introduced species (which has no local predator itself) becomes an invasive species.
On the solely human side of things, we’ve seen many examples of this throughout time in the form of ethnic, sexual and religious genocide. Men of all ethnicities have sought to eliminate other ethnic and religious group, especially women and girls. It isn’t new, and it certain wasn’t a white invention, despite what people are saying these days. But it was and is male. Very, very male. Personally, I don’t understand the drive to have everyone look like you or to relegate a group to a sub-class. These days, race and ethnicity issues are probably more of a problem in countries that are fairly mono-racial and nearly to totally immigration-prohibitive than they are in most Western countries. But they are front and centre in the West despite the fact that the true need, the one that is being sadly neglected, is women’s progress. There seems to be a recent drive to erase women completely as natural beings – a sexual genocide of sorts. Pornification is a form of genocide, I believe. One thing to remember: there is no natural predator for the males in control… And unless there are males in the prey group, there is no hope for fighting back in a way that will work.
Conclusion
Natural diversity, good. Forced diversity, bad. Male meddling, fiddling, and diddling always backfire. I truly suspect that we wouldn’t see any of these issues if men didn’t exist. And if humans didn’t exist…? Well, check out the documentary: “Life After People” (stream for free here) to think about the idea that we wouldn’t be missed at all 😉
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*** addendum, with regard to my discussion of the mass Muslim gang attacks of white women in Germany, please note that the number of assaults and rapes reported varies WIDELY. The numbers I cited were at the low end. Various sources indicate that there were upwards of 1,200 sexual assaults from all over Germany, including at least 50 rapes. We will never know the exact number because a) most white women don’t report rape and sexual assault, especially when the attackers are not white, and b) the Western world doesn’t take rape seriously, especially when it threatens multiculturalism policies. It is shocking, but unsuprising, that while it is internationally acknowledged that these attacks happened, nothing has changed to keep women safe. It is more important to protect male privilege, rapist privilege, and Muslim privilege, and guess what? White women aren’t human either, and our rapes certainly aren’t taken seriously. Sorry, liberals.
Is it Hive Mind or Is There a Handbook? Males Penetrating Female-Only E-Space
So, I’ve been spending a little time over on Saidit talking with some truly interesting women from around the world. I like it. Different ages and cultures thinking about the same issues; I love it when a woman makes a comment that makes me think more deeply about something I’ve either not thought much about before or that helps me clarify my own position. You’re never too old or too experienced to develop… or change! There are some other women there too – they seem young, unfocused, and angry (justifiably so; I have zero problem with righteous anger) who are likely finally finding a place to voice their rage without being censored. But I like discussion of the calmer sort, if I’m up for interaction at all. Don’t get me wrong, I have rage, and I let her out for a stomp every once in a while, even though it’s blood she craves at times…
I’ve hung out on different forums at different times, very often as a lurker. I don’t often participate because what’s the point? Most places are run by men and heavily populated by men and their cockpuppets. You either get censored, ignored or attacked when you comment as a non-handmaiden. Pointless to waste your energy. But so far the saidit blackpill threads seem to be doing alright, if so far under-utilized. If you’re reading this and haven’t been over yet, give it a try. You might find a topic worth talking about. There are a few different, related threads. Just explore.
One thing you will find, however, no matter which forum you find yourself on, is that if there is a woman-only space or a woman-pertinent topic, males will come and jizz all over it. And no matter where they are from or what age they are, they are all exactly the same. It is a bit eerie actually, but as a result, they are completely predictable. I’m trying to figure out whether all males share a mind or whether they are all given a handbook at birth: “How to derail a discussion group of women in the most male way possible in 10 easy steps”. I’m going to ignore the Neanderthal infiltrator. He is the guy who just stomps in and announces that all women are bitches or that women have easier lives than men. And then he just waits for women to freak out (which they usually don’t because they’ve encountered this asshole a million times before). No, today, I’m focusing on the guy who saunters in and attempts a dialogue. There are a million of these guys too, but they are often a little more successful at derailing women. Here’s how it always goes:
- Male announces himself. “Greetings. I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi , but you can call me Humble Scrote. I’m just a simple, innocent male, and I wanted to ask a question to all you wise women. You can feel free to ignore me, but I would love it if you would educate me on X, Y, Z topic. I’m confused.” So, note a few things here: the male must announce himself – unlike any of the women in the group, even if they haven’t posted before. He usually tells everyone he is male and makes some self-deprecating comment to show women he doesn’t feel superior to them (ahem… that’s coming later). He also invites the women to completely ignore him, while at the same time plowing on with an endless paragraph that demands that they filter through the jizzy mess, unable to ignore him. In the humble paragraph, it is clear that despite what his actual words say, he does, in fact, expect the group to completely shift focus to him, and often the question(s) he has isn’t directly tied to the initial topic of the post.
- Reactions: Someone always reacts to the Nice Guy TM. There is at least one naïve and/or well-trained ‘nice’ woman who welcomes the penis to the group. He is being so sweet and humble, after all, so he can’t be one of ‘those guys’. (Not all men!) Women are expected to be nice and helpful, and most importantly, not to have boundaries. It is okay to interrupt women and demand their attention. Men don’t see this as being on the same spectrum as rape, unwanted touching, taking up more than one’s share of space on buses or shared seating, etc. But it is all part of the male dominance-female subservience system. Women don’t have boundaries. Men have the right to be everywhere. So you’ll get a nice welcoming woman, thrilled with the opportunity to help a male understand what women are about, who usually asks penis master to clarify something or to spell out his question, if he didn’t already do so upon flouncing into the e-space. You will also often get at least one awesome woman who will address the intruder by his real name, usually something like Scrote or Moid. Welcoming Woman is usually quicker on the draw, though, so by the time the Warrior Woman has responded, dick-for-brains has usually written at least 2-3 long paragraphs outlining his confusion or clarifying how fucking amazing he is (Not all men!).
- Then the scrote sees the unwelcoming comment, and he shows his real face. Holy shit! He isn’t a Nice Guy TM. Or rather, he is a Nice Guy, but the bitch who is biting his head off is making him respond like some rapey turd. How can you blame him? How else is he to respond to someone who is clearly a man-hating lesbian, and who likely has emasculating testicle shears hanging just inside the front door of her apartment? Is he supposed to just leave the forum? Hell no! He has every right to be in the women’s space derailing everyone from the interesting topic they were discussing and demanding all eyes turned to him as he spins in a testosterific cloud of confusion. Stop talking and just listen and learn by reading? Hell no! He has a right to voice his opinions and ask his questions! How dare these women attack him. He is suddenly a victim and he lashes out like all men know how to do (again, is it hivemind or is there a bloody handbook on this???) His initial response is usually along the lines of “What is your problem? / What did I do??? ” Totally eye-blinkingly innocent.
- Then it goes on. It becomes quickly apparent that the Scrotal Mess isn’t there to be educated. What he really wanted to do was to point out that feminists are misinterpreting the state of the world. Or most men aren’t what the actual data available publicly say they are. Or most men don’t hate women, and the men who do hate women don’t hate them 100%, maybe just like 25% or something (there is always a statistic in there somewhere). Or women have more power than men these days. Or, I mean pick something – it almost always has something to do with women being stupid or privileged in some way, and men are innocent victims suffering in this world because of mean feminists who are mean. Ruining everything! Waaaah!
- There may be some response from the ass-kicking forum defenders telling Sir-Masturbates-Alot to fuck off. The initially welcoming woman has usually kept out of things – she is probably confused. (Why are you attacking him…???) And the man then goes on to do at least one of the following: a) He deposits a man-turd in the form of a warning, e.g., “With this attitude, you will quickly find yourself with few allies.” “You’ll never make progress if you don’t include ME (and other Nice Feminist Guys) in your endeavours.” b) He reinforces his victim status, even though he was the one to penetrate the women, I mean the women’s discussion group. “Geez, bite my head off. I was just trying to learn/ask a simple (multi-paragraph) question.” or c) He’ll make threats and use hate speech. This is self-explanatory. We’ve all seen Nice Guys TM wish us dead or raped. They’ve all reported US for hate speech and tried to get us censored, often successfully. They’ve all called us cunts and bitches and feminazis and whores and TERFs and Karens and the list is endless.
- Scrote eventually fucks off. He is often banned if there is a moderator. But he may come back with a different user name. Sometimes it is hard to tell, they all sound the fucking same. And all women are left knowing that no matter where they are, whether it be online or in the meat world, they will always be attacked by men. Women are just not allowed to speak publicly without some fucking man policing the whole damned thing and thinking that his opinion is more important than women’s and that his demand for attention and service are vastly more urgent and important than the need for women to speak freely and without interference about the things that concern their lives most seriously.
And as a close, please note that I have lurked on blogs representing special interest groups, and you don’t see this level of infiltration and sense of entitlement by members that wouldn’t normally be included in that group. This seems only to apply to women as a class.
It is up to you to decide why all these guys sound the same. Are men born into a hivemind situation or are they handed a manual at birth that teaches them how to dominate women, including in e-forums? The only thing I know for certain is that it is just best not to respond to them. They hate it and will go away faster.
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It’s That Time Again: Black Dicks Matter Month
I’ve seen variations on the following theme increasingly on the internet and once or twice in person (it would be more if the pandemic didn’t limit outdoor interaction and if I were more socially inclined).
I’ve been back in the West for a little over a year-and-a-half, and things have gotten wildly out of control thanks to the liberally insane. I posted on my experience with BDM last year in California and the complete and utterly deafening silence of the Women’s History Month that followed Black History Month. I’m still left wondering whether it’s because a) we erase women’s history, so there is nothing to celebrate, or b) black males can’t accept that there are people more oppressed than they are, or c) trannies have completely taken over womanhood and won’t allow any kind of attention paid to XX because to do so would be to lit-er-al-ly murder them en masse. Probably all three. Regardless, censorship is alive and well in the West. And speaking of censorship, if I get electronically erased by posting this, you can still find me occasionally on Saidit BPF . I don’t allow comments here and thus don’t get a lot of traffic, so I am probably less of a threat than other writers, but you don’t know these days… Just always remember who actually has the power in this world (hint: it is not the people being systematically and swiftly censored – aka women who don’t support the liberal or conservative male agenda – they are the same thing, really). Language and who gets to control it is the ultimate show of power. Note that in the comic strip below, the character playing the ‘target’ (the white female) doesn’t represent anything I’ve ever seen in person or online (i.e., I’ve never seen a white woman stand up to a black male before and question his supremacy over her). The other characters, however, are depictions of what is actually going on. You have ALL witnessed it at least once. I shouldn’t need to spell that out, but if that were true, this post would have never crossed my mind. Just tired of the lies.
White females are not responsible for the sad state of the world, despite how liberals (and me in a fun post) have re-written history to make it appear. Wake the fuck up. Men need to take responsibility for what they have done and continue to do, and women really need to stop policing other women and supporting the oppressive male agenda, which includes group-specific censorship, and hate speech against women (and especially, white women).
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It’s Always about Poverty: COVID Has Finally Hit My Flophouse
This is a rant. I have a few of them in the queue, and I had planned on another topic for publication today, but things move quickly here in Canada. So if you’re in rant-reading mode, buckle up…
It was only a matter of time. I’ve been waiting for it, and frankly, given the living situation and how things are managed here, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner. I came back to my windowless micro-room in the shithole in which I’ve been forced to live due to poverty in my shithole country (Canada) that punishes women for being ‘old’ (among many other things) only to find a note on my door informing me that we’ve been infiltrated by one of The Infected, but that the management will not be taking it seriously.
What?
A little backtracking since you may not have read further back on this blog. I’ve been unemployed for more than a year-and-a-half now. Part of that was planned as I transitioned from a paying job in China back in July 2019 to a full-time studentship in the US, the idea being that I would use the time in the US to make connections and work my way into some employment. Everyone knows that getting jobs isn’t about your education, qualifications or competence, but about who you know and being in the right place at the right time. I’m 48 and this is how it has worked my entire fucking life. This is how men still dominate the job market despite their inferiority. Men help men, and sometimes the women they are fucking or want to fuck. If you are a woman on the outside (smart, gay, old, etc), things are very difficult, so you have to be good at networking.
Anyhoo, the pandemic hit, and suddenly I was stuck in the US with a shut-down educational program, an insanely expensive place to live and nowhere to go. Literally nowhere to go. I have no family, few Western friends who actually do more than say hello electronically and who certainly won’t help me in a time of need, and no home base in my home country of Canada. I hadn’t lived there in a decade. But finding a job in my former field (teaching ESL) in a foreign country was out of the question, so with more than half my small savings depleted, I repatriated to Canada with dread in my bones. And I was right to expect the worst. After being lied to by the Canadian government (they officially told me after a formal inquiry that they would pay for me to quarantine due to having no home to return to) and being forced to stay in an expensive and very specifically designated ‘COVID’ hotel with no affordable food access for 2 weeks, I moved out to a city I had lived in about 20 years previously. I found a ‘cheap’ place to stay in an overpopulated house full of very strange people in the sticks via AirBnB for a few months, but had to flee due to an abusive male who threatened my life because I looked at him in what he decided was a disrespectful way. And given that without a job, you can’t get an apartment, there was nowhere to go but a downtown hostel that did extended days (meaning month-by-month rentals), but functions more like a flophouse, centred as it is in the dangerous homeless- and drug-addict-ridden area of town, and strangely still accepting random travellers from all over the place despite COVID restrictions. I had stayed at this place in a 4-month extended stay 20 years previously when I first moved to the city for a job. It had gone downhill a bit, attracting a lot of really weird, listless and creepy men in addition to people who are flying in from hard-hit Virus areas of Canada as well as other countries. The worst thing about hostels, even in non-COVID times is that you always have to share kitchen and bathroom facilities – hotbeds of germs and disease even under normal circumstances. I know for a fact that the males who share the bathroom closest to my room don’t wash their hands and leave disgusting messes all the fucking time. This is well known because of social research on post-bathroom hand-washing, but the more fucked up the population of men, the dirtier they are. And the cleanliness standards of this place are dubious to me. They don’t clean door knobs. The toilets aren’t cleaned properly, and the showers might get sort of cleaned once a week. Maybe. I had applied for a part-time cleaning job here, but wasn’t even given the time of day. Over the past few months, I’ve noticed the only ones getting the cleaning jobs are people under 30, and there is a whole parade of them, constantly changing staff. I know for a fact that I clean better than any of those fuckers. I’m a Gen-X’er who grew up in a time where children, especially girls, still had household chores starting at a young age. And as the eldest child with a completely useless mother and a mostly absentee father, I had girl jobs and boy jobs. I am a cleaning master. And I know I’m physically stronger than all of the females they employ in this joint. Further, I have more hostel experience than all of these young people put together spending most of my adult life working and moving around abroad as I have. But this is a sexist-ageist world. I can’t get hired for anything to save my life. If I were male, my age wouldn’t matter so much. But I suspect there is a connection thing going on – millennials and Z’s make sure their friends get jobs.
So I get the notice of infection today, they detailed a few things about when the Infected arrived and what their activities were after arriving and when they left. The person was staying in the same area where my room is, which also means we shared a bathroom. The hostel has indicated that it is no big deal. The only thing they are going to change is that they are going to stop taking randos off the street for short stays – but it won’t be implemented until March 1st???!!! How is this helpful? We’re going to continue putting you at risk for another 3.5 weeks. Whatevs.
Now, this particular region where I am living is one of the least affected COVID areas of Canada in a province which has done much better than many of the other provinces (which I attribute to there being a female physican in charge of regulations here), and this is good considering it has a large population. We are on an island, which has helped to limit much of the traffic that would normally pass through a large city. So to have a case show up here speaks to what happens when you have poorly managed (aka ‘money grubbing takes primacy over public safety) congested housing with low-income people, especially males, who generally don’t give a shit how their actions affect other people. Our national media has only focused on the effects on poor immigrants, but there are tons of poor locals who are as affected by disease and poverty as idiots who come here illegally or who come expecting to find streets paved with gold and government hand-outs for people who haven’t contributed to the tax base (trust me, this is a common perception of Canada and why many, many foreigners come here). Poverty is rampant in Canada and it affects all races and citizenship status. But liberalism has its agenda…
I’m pretty sure I had COVID early on while in the US before anyone was taking things seriously, and I really don’t want to come down with the dangerous new strain that has made its way to Canada from the UK. I will say for certain that I think China did things correctly – not the withholding of information from the world part and failing to help the world in a significant way after infecting us – but their local policy implementation of locking everyone down and enforcing strict policies on comings and goings at the community level. They nipped it in the bud before COVID could destroy their economy. Chinese nationalists (according to my former students) are laughing at us Westerners with our fucking ‘freedom’ talk and our limp dick approach to letting people do whatever the fuck they want and thus spreading the disease everywhere and destroying many people’s economic lives (including my own!).
I’ll never be a communist (or a capitalist for that matter), but when I can finally get out of here, I won’t have any problem moving back to a country living under dictatorship. It’s not ideal, and the racist sexism is always there, like it is here, but at least I can be employed and any crises will be dealt with swiftly without entitled shitheads ruining it for everyone. I hate all male political systems, but after going through this pandemic business and coming face-to-face with the rabid anti-woman liberalism that is a worse infection than COVID ever could be, I’ll take the dictatorship, than you very much. In an ideal world, however, things would be male-free and the system would look very, very different in every possible way and this blog would not be needed at all.
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A Is for Antagonism
Story Ending Never’s Alphabet Series is now on YouTube in audio form. Come get your dose of weird Canadian accent 😉 You can listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
Happy new year. Does it feel like a new year? In many ways, no. This effing Virus is well into its second year now, and many of us are bored, depressed, not too hopeful, wondering when things will go back to normal, or whether we’ve got a new normal. Some of us are seriously isolated. Myself, I haven’t had an in-person conversation with another human that lasted longer than 5 minutes in months – I’ve noticed that people, especially women, seem to have a serious aversion to speaking to middle aged and older women. We’re invisible. But it’s more than that. It almost seems like there is a discomfort and dismissal on the part of those with whom you are trying to engage. It is hard to explain. Strangely, everyone seems to want to engage with weird men of any age, even when they stink to high heaven, are narcissistic, talk too much or too loudly, are offensive, and add whatever you want to the list. Seriously. I just can’t understand why it is more attractive to talk to some repulsive, self-centred pervball, but not to a friendly female who isn’t gaming to rape you or suck your energy with unbridled egomania and scrotal tall tales of imagined accomplishments and prowess.
In addition, I’m finding it really hard to catch the eye of fellow sisters while out for a walk on the street or walking trails – something I usually try to do no matter where in the world I am. I get the distinct impression that there is this bizarre notion that connecting with fellow humans, even just through eye contact, somehow puts you at risk for contracting The Virus. I used to live in the place where I currently am, and it’s not an unfriendly place, generally. But it feels very different here than it used to. Paranoid. And no longer a community. Selective disconnect.
Anyhow, I’m totally off track, but my excuse is that it is my first post of the new year, so some preamble was warranted. I wanted to kick off an hommage – or perhaps I should say femmage, as I love franglais and neologisms, both – to Sue Grafton and her Alphabet series. Years ago, I fell in love with Kinsey Millhone, private detective, with her minimalistic lifestyle, low income, and creative tiny house living space. Her only fault was her constructed and frankly unbelievable heterosexuality – she really never came across as anything but asexual or lesbian to me, but luckily, you could just flip a few pages to skip over the luckily sparse sexual content (thank you 1980’s – it would be a different story today à la 50 shades of shit).
We’ll see how far I get. I’m kicking it off with A is for Antagonism. There is no recurring character, and this isn’t a novel. And jeez, there is no mystery in what I write, despite the fact that most women just don’t seem to be able to figure out why men do what they do and why they themselves just can’t stop spreading their legs for them. Mystery is not the same thing as willing ignorance and cognitive dissonance, let me tell you. Open your eyes to reality and the privilege you orbit is no longer possible. Case closed!
Now before I get into it, there are tons of A-words I could have chosen here. A is for asshole, assault, aggression, arrogance, affirmative action, ‘alleged’, abortion, and more. But I chose antagonism, a highy underappreciated word.
So let’s go. Very simply put, antagonism is active hostility or opposition. Think of someone who seems deliberately to disagree with everything you say, or someone who pokes at you, saying provocative things that seem deliberately geared towards riling you up or getting some sort of reaction (anger, tears, defensiveness, etc) out of you. Interestingly, in literature, the ‘antagonist’ is typically seen as a villain, nemesis or chief opposition to the hero of the story, designed to cause problems or allow for a plot to exist at all.
I want to talk about antagonism in two specific, but not necessarily unrelated, categories: Male communication styles and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
- Male Communication Styles
Let me draw from one of my ESL lectures on language and communication – I tell all my students that the purpose of language is to try to get what we want or need. It is one of human’s most basic and useful tools. If you don’t communicate, you don’t get what you need, from trying to find food or a toilet in a new place to trying to get a job. Now, to understand how males typically use this tool outside of toilets or getting directions, let’s cover a few truths. a) Males are both wired and socialized to believe that they deserve. Everything and anything they need or want becomes crucial and deserved. b) Males are also wired and socialized to be aggressive, so getting what they believe they deserve is best achieved through aggression of one form or another. c) Most males realize on some level that they aren’t important, have less to offer the world than females, and could be done away with without serious repurcussions in the long run (obsolescence). Most males can’t articulate that, but they know it on some lizard brain level and use aggression and a focus on ‘deserving’ to cover up their biological inadequacies.
But back to language. All of the above factor into the way males often communicate, especially with females they see as threats to their fragile egos in an attempt to prove that they are important, and better, and deserving, and not obsolete. An aggressive communication style is often used on perceived superior women (e.g., intelligent, educated, non-naive, older, uninterested, extremely attractive, and/or sexually unavailable women) and is usually manifested as antagonism. Now, some men use antagonism as a bizarre, but often effective (why? ask a hetero chick, cuz I don’t get it…) means of flirting. But antagonism is most often used by men as an attempt to disarm women, to steal their energy, and to divert their laser focus away from the inadequacies and flimsy lies and exaggerations of said male. Men will question and/or disagree with and/or dissect every statement a woman makes in a conversation. He will pick apart decisions she has made and is describing to him, and criticize everything about it in an attempt to make her defend herself or even fall apart. He will goad her to prove every detail she states, often expecting citations of studies or data. He will often ask her to recite lists of things to prove the extent of her knowledge on a subject and pounce on any error she makes as proof of her inadequacy, even a subject on the outskirts of the topic of conversation.
As I look back, I have have had sooooo many interactions of this sort with males through my life. Now, I’m not surprised – I am often a threat to men as I am smart, educated, well trained in pscyhology, sexually unavailable, I see through bullshit easily, and if I am feeling brave and devil may care, I can give better mindfuckery than I get. I am a massive threat to all insecure men who think they deserve and are used to most women giving them literal or figurative blowjobs for existing. Interestingly, the abusive male living in the house I was renting in when I first moved back to Canada spoke to all the women in the house using this style. I remember one specific conversation involving him, myself, and one of the cock-whipped hetero women, where the male kept picking at the latter over something she did that she was telling us about. She accused him of being jealous, but I countered with an accusation of being antagonistic. Only a month or two later, after he started making threats against my physical safety did I start putting the whole shebang together – which brings me to my second category of antagonist.
2. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
It’s important to note that while many males employ antagonistic communication styles with women, most of these guys do not have NPD. Antagonism can just be a way that males deal with their usually subconscious awareness of their inadequacy and obsolescence as males. Also, note that narcissism and NPD are not the same. You can be a narcissist (very self-centred, vain, selfish) without a personality disorder (ingrained personality pattern that disrupts your day-to-day functioning and relationships). Both males and females can have NPD and thus can be antagonistic, but there are almost double the number of male NPDs than females (likely more because we accept narcissism and abusive behaviour in males and thus may not suspect that a male is anything but normal), which makes sense if you understand the disorder and the biological reality of males. As an aside, published research shows that young people, males, blacks, and, to a lesser extent, other minorities have higher prevalence of lifetime NPD than do older people, females, and non-Hispanic whites. You can google all that if you are interested – myself, I’m not getting into the whys and implications of race or age relationships with narcissistic disorders here – my focus is, as always, on male bullshit and how it affects women and girls. I have a great deal of personal experience with NPD family members, and what I will say is that the abuse they dish out is worse and more damaging to the core self than physical abuse. Most survivors of narcissistic and physical abuse will also tell you that. I’ll write more about my NPD experience in another post.
Antagonism is a chief trait of narcissists, and specifically, those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The arrogance, constant arguing, and pathological need to exploit people are warning signs that you are dealing with a very dangerous and destructive person with a problem that is likely never, ever, ever going to change no matter how much you try to help them.
Conclusion
Regardless of whether you are dealing with a weak ass male with ego problems or a true blue NPD, my advice is to get away as soon as you can. If you are stuck in a relationship (family, work situation) with them, you have a decision to make: develop strategies that will allow you to reduce the effects of antagonistic attacks (or avoid them as much as you can), or get the hell out. I always do the latter, but it comes at a very high cost. Worth it to me, but you have to weigh your options according to your own needs.
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An Evening Muse on Western Misogyny, Poverty, and Such
I have to admit I’m a little down lately. Despite being a person who expects little from people, situations, and life in general, I’ve managed to become disappointed and once again worn down by life in North America. If you’ve never read further on this site, the context for this comment is this: I frequently live and work abroad; I left a nearly decade-long stint in China at the end of July 2019; I spent a year in the US studying and trying to navigate a possible career change; and then the Virus hit, all my plans went to hell, and I was forced to return to my homeland – Canada – a country I thought I might never return to again other than to visit.
China is a really racist, sexist, and chaotic, but uber-controlled country. It was hard. But I adapted. I was employed, I cultivated a small, but excellent group of local friends, and equally important, I had an apartment that was all mine despite being black moldy and not very cosy. I’ve spent most of my adult life living alone, and I’ve come to see it as a luxury, even when my space is not optimal. I just don’t like living with people. And I especially don’t like living in places where I have no control over who else is living there.
The year in the US was pretty brutal in a lot of ways. First the culture shock – not sure if that is the right word – was kind of surprising. I think in the year and a half since leaving Asia, I’ve realized that if I am going to be an outcast, I need to be a full-on outcast that has no hope or expectation (by self or others) of ever fitting in. Even more than in early adulthood, I just don’t think I can fit into regular society here – and that seems like a simple and precious thing to say, but it is really complicated in a way that you will never understand unless you’ve lived outside your country for years and years at a time.
The US also showed me that women don’t have it better in the West. We are constantly battered with the idea that “women are equal now” and “Western (especially white) women are better off than all other women, so stfu.” But I have to tell you, no, the misogyny is just as bad here as anywhere else. It just looks different. And the less money you have, the worse it is. Because of the lifelong brainwashing, selective women’s history (if any) taught in public schools, and a general unwillingness to self-examine because it’s “too negative” or victimy, the majority of women just don’t see it. And I’d bet that in countries that Western women typically tsk tsk over, those women also don’t really see what they experience as anything other than “that’s life, the way it’s supposed to be”.
I had some good experiences during my year in the US. I was studying plants, for one. And then the Virus hit, which was actually a good thing in some ways – I was able to get some tuition money back after my male teachers decided they didn’t want to work anymore, and continued my plant education by myself outside the classroom by going on 5-10 mile hikes every day. But I spent way too much of my small, scrupulously accumulated savings on keeping wealthy people wealthy through overpriced accommodation. I also contracted a staph infection that has recurred 5 times, manifesting in massive, painful and disgusting abcesses. Antibiotics are NOT something one should be taking regularly, and I’ve had 4 hardcore rounds in less than a year. I swear, if you want to contract a brutal disease, go to the US, not a Third World country. But possibly tied for worst – I haven’t lived alone since I left China – the bad part being that I have lived with some of the most horrible and abusive men and women I have ever met, and paid my hard-earned money for the privilege. Ouch. Once the Virus was in play, housing became even more insecure. I was terrified of being kicked out with literally nowhere to go if I contracted even a small cough. The crazy landlady I lived with during the first few months of the outbreak forced one of the other tenants out when she got a cold. It was stressful.
But you know, despite some pretty seriously shitty stuff going on while in the US, my spirits were good. It was not until I returned to Canada that I started to get depressed. This country is about poverty for me. I spent most of my Canada-side adult years living in poverty, and being back is no different. I have no contacts or references here. I’m an overeducated, middle-aged female and white – all of those working against me in a city with 11% unemployment and a government focused on making sure immigrants have jobs.
And I’m still living with people. And it has been all about male violence. I just moved from a shared house where an older male verbally attacked me and threatened to physically attack me because I wasn’t looking at or speaking to him correctly (we all know what that means – he wasn’t getting the deference and respect he thought he deserved). I just moved out of that house in the burbs to a downtown hostel that accepts month-to-month renters. I had stayed here when I first moved to this city for a job 20 years ago. But things seem to have gone downhill with increased poverty/income gaps and with the stress of the Virus. In a week’s time, there have been two major violent male episodes – luckily not with me. But they were terrifying. One – a verbal screaming match between staff and a male who (as usual) didn’t think he needed to follow the Virus rules mandated by the hostel. The second – a male did something the staff didn’t like and they refused to let him back into the building to go to his room. It was a long ordeal, poorly handled by the staff, that escalated until the male smashed the entire plexiglass wall going from lobby counter to ceiling, and smashed computers and various things on the check-in desk. No cops ever seem to be called here. I took the least expensive room. It is in a hallway beside the lobby. It is a tiny, tiny room with no window. There is an immense amount of noise 24/7 due to people traipsing by or accessing a bank of METAL lockers right beside my door at 2 or 4 in the morning. They are raising the rent significantly next month despite being down season for travellers. It does have a bit of a half-way house feel to it. Or even a homeless shelter (given the male violence and the creepy, listless air of some of the male guests), except that I am paying for the privilege.
As much as I wanted to move on from teaching English to unmotivated, cell-phone addicted students, I’m almost wishing the Virus were over so I could escape Canada, take another teaching job, and have a job and a small private living space away from men again.
Bottom line: the West is just as dangerous and stressful for women as it is in other parts of the world. The income gap and access to affordable and secure housing issues are as serious here as they are in many places. The less money you have as a woman, the more exposed you are to dangerous situations caused by males. And yet Western countries are more and more obsessed with racial diversity and less and less focused on the fact that women are the most at-risk group STILL and face more challenges economically than men of any race.
Let’s hope 2021 brings a better year for us and that we all make it there unhurt by the men around us.
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Small Children, the Mentally Deficient, and… Men
Likely, everyone is sick of hearing about The Virus and everything Virus-related. Just as I write this, it occurs to me that it has been on my personal radar since it hit China. I have so many contacts – friends, former students and former colleagues – back in China, that I was in frequent contact with during Chinese New Year – before it was a serious thought in the minds of most people in the rest of the world. Myself, I got hit with a brutal illness at the very end of December that lasted until the end of January, the cough even longer. At that time, everyone was talking about an unusually nasty flu season, but this was like no flu I had ever had. I’ve never had a cough accompany a flu before, and I’ve never had a fever and chills and debilitating weakness with a throat infection. But there was no testing in January, so who knows what the hell it was. But I caught it shortly after riding a Greyhound bus inbound from Seattle on its way to L.A. And there was one super sick dude on that bus who was coughing all over the rest of us on the bus…
Fast-forward 10 months. I’m safely harboured away in Canada on an island region of about a million people – we’ve had a total of about 200 cases since it all began. Pretty good. A significant number of those cases came from a single house party of drunken idiots, luckily in a small up-island community and not adjacent to the larger southern metropolis and thus pretty isolated. And this has been common around North America – drunken house parties and congregating in bars seems to be the number one way to get The Virus (also the number one way to get raped, if you’re female! And alcohol isn’t a dangerous drug…!) People are generally pretty hard-core about following protocols in my region. There is a large proportion of elderly people here, for one. Also, and this is significant, my province is taking direction from a smart, rational, and surprisingly well-liked female doctor. Leadership is key in managing crises, and it is always better to put a woman in charge. We are just better at strategy, planning, taking threats seriously, and reacting rationally and without brutality. And this is in evidence around the world and throughout time. Now if you want death, destruction and general mayhem, by all means, put a man in charge.
And speaking of men, just an anecdote. When I got out of quarantine following my arrival from the US, I immediately headed to the ferry terminal for my crossing to the islands. You are supposed to wear face masks on board and they are keeping car people in their cars and walk-on people have a limited run of the passenger area of the ferry. Sensible. Now, as I was watching people disembark from an arriving ferry, I heard the din of shrill male voices. Two men were having the following conversation:
Dudebro 1: Well, it was great to have met you, brah. I can’t tell you how great it is to meet a rare fellow free-thinker these days.
Dudebro 2: Yeah, man. You can tell the free-thinkers – we’re the ones not wearing masks, guffaw, guffaw.
Dudebro 1: Right on. Like the rest of the sheep... Goober goober, scrotal babble drifting away on the wind and out of earshot.
Men truly tickle themselves at how smart they think they are. Constantly self-labelling as ‘rational’, ‘logical’, ‘free-thinking’, and you name it. I mean, there is a shit ton of research out there showing how men, without fail, overestimate their abilities, competence, intelligence (and conversely, how women without fail, unless afflicted with a personality disorder such as narcissistic or antisocial PDs, underestimate their intelligence and abilities). So it follows that they are also deluded about their thinking style. Mistaking selfishness and stubbornness for free-thinking is just one of many examples.
Anyhow, it was just a reminder that while Canada is more level-headed as a country than many, including the US, there are still men there and they are just as stupid and arrogant as they are anywhere else in the world.
***[I guess I’ll put this little side note here. We are still in a place where no one is entirely certain of the entire host of behaviours that can lead to you becoming infected with The Virus. I am a supporter of scientific methodology, and I stand by science as a tool, even when men misuse it. Some women see male abuse of science as a sign of a bad tool, but that is not true. Men abuse ALL tools. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, or something like that. I think generally, wearing a mask in enclosed spaces around other people is a probably a good thing, as is washing your hands PROPERLY and regularly, and not putting your tongue down other people’s throats… So not following these basic protocols, is just kind of stupid and selfish – not free-thinking. We don’t have all pieces of the puzzle yet, but we’ll get there. Part of the problem is that some behaviours are required, but so many other behaviours that may be problematic are unregulated, so many people start to question authority and refuse to do anything.]***
But let’s get a little more local, and more to the topic of this post.
In my particular city, it has become mandatory to wear face masks on public buses, and there is limited seating. But there are people who are exempt from the mask thing. The transit authority has a blurb on their website outlining who doesn’t have to comply. It is very bizarre. Some of the people on the list include:
- Children under 5. Why don’t parents have to mask their toddlers? Kids tend to be disease super-spreaders as they touch everything and don’t tend to self-regulate coughing or where their drool or snot goes. I suppose this a breeder privilege thing…
- The mentally challenged. I don’t understand this one either. If a mentally retarded person can manage something so complex as riding a bus, then they can certainly figure out how to put a mask on.
- People with limited mobility. I’ve seen evidence of the first two on the bus, but I think most people who can’t really move either take a parabus option or just don’t travel by bus. If you can’t manage a mask, then taking a bus would be extraordinarily difficult.
- Emergency personnel responding to emergencies. Self-explanatory and hard to imagine – the bus isn’t typical transport for say, a paramedic on the job.
Now there is one other group of people who seem to be covered by the exemption, but they are not included in the list of the super-challenged. And in fact, I’ve seen more of these offenders than any others on the legit list. Wait for it… you know what I’m going to say!
MEN
Yeah, I’ve noticed an inordinate number of men – of any and all races – getting on the bus without a mask. Every time I ride the bus, there is at least one adult male without a mask. And these guys are mobile, not under 5, not emergency personnel, and not overtly retarded. And yet they saunter on and sit their in their scrotal privilege unmasked, while the rest of the Canadians use the only uncovered part of their faces to full effect, shooting them dirty looks (Canadians are super good at passive aggression!) And remember, like children, men tend to be super-spreaders of disease (which has been true throughout time).
Now, also in the transit regulations is a note that while mandatory, the mask rule is not enforceable. In other words, the bus drivers have not been tasked with getting into altercations with angry males who refuse to comply – because we all know that’s what would happen if you tried to encroach upon a free-thinking male’s sense of FREEDOM. I agree that bus drivers should not be put in more danger than they might already be in, having to deal with the large number of behaviourally unpredictable drug addicts we have here on the West Coast, but what is the point of a mandatory rule if it only applies to a minority of the population…?
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Misogyny in Academia: Nothing Has Changed
First, welcome to the douchebags from rationalwiki. Ladies, you know your feminist blog has made it when internet scrotal warriors with their self-proclaimed ‘rational minds’ (sorry, let me pause to laugh my ass off here, man-logic is anything but rational, but fuelled by emotional mantrums) have listed you as a ‘webshite’ and angry, privileged followers click on over to your site to become angrier. I’m sure between watching rape porn and eating the meals their mothers provide, they are raging online about how women have destroyed the world with their quest for human rights and not to be raped or to take the scourge of rape porn away. Nothing says ‘rational’ like not understanding the difference between rights and privilege. I won’t go on. Women will understand. Men never will (they don’t have to in this world). Only rational people will get it.
Anyhoo. I’m in the middle of escaping a violent male in a rental situation while unemployed (I talked about insecure housing for women in my last post). Luckily, but sadly, one of the other women in my house has been experiencing related terrorism and we finally ran into each other and shared our experience. We had thought we were alone and thus unable to be believed (he said, she said, he wins, she flees… or dies). The third woman in the house is straight, very male-identified, and will never get on board. She is one of those who is internet dating, currently has a male who is trying to access her twat, gets angry when she says no, and she is still hanging out with him and making excuses for him. You know this common, sad, but tedious, story. She will likely be raped in the near future, and she is in complete denial. There isn’t a straight woman on the planet who hasn’t experienced something along these lines, but most will never admit it because women are still expected to let men rape them and accept it as love and affection. And the excuses they make to have it all make sense… But long story short, the other woman and I have found places to live, and we teamed up and forced the landlord to let us out of our rental agreement. Seldom do women team up – as I’ve mentioned before, this is one reason we haven’t made much progress as a class in fighting our oppressors (see posts on the need for Old Girls Clubs in the professional sphere, female bonding in general, how intersectionality has destroyed the long lost feminist prime directive, and more). Nothing will happen to our abuser, and while we are lucky to escape, it is another example of women having to escape a space that should, by definition, be safe in order to survive. Women often have to leave secure housing and even jobs and school positions because of the threats of violence and actual violence that men pose and enact, while the men stay firmly and securely in place, untouchable, housing secure and careers skyrocketing without the competition that more competent women would normally present, and most important, without the fears that women live with daily at home, in public and in the workplace. I always wonder to myself how many women are destroyed professionally, economically and more because men threaten them. I’ve written a little about this before, and posit the need for danger pay for women in the workforce.
So we get to my topic. Academia. Now, interestingly, but unsurprisingly, educated women are some of the most hated women among feminists (partially addressed in my post on Isolating Women). You’d think that women would embrace and promote women moving into fields that could actually help the world and empower women. But no. I’ve read tons of posts and articles by or about academic women, and the sad comments sections that accompany them, where so-called feminists viciously attack academic feminists and women in general. Complicated stuff going on there. The attacks often fall along the lines of “this bitch has made it; why isn’t she doing more to help less fortunate women? Why is she capitulating?” And and think to myself, “why the fuck don’t you go attack some men? Yannow, the actual problems.” These self-proclaimed feminists have no idea what it takes to make it in academia as a woman. I’m tired of blue collar bullshit. And liberal bullshit. I’ve lived in multiple worlds – I class myself as ‘educated poor’ – and instead of hating other work classes, I suggest embracing women and fighting the men who keep archaic systems in place. It’s simple, logically, but you have to let go of lady-hate to do it… Anyhow, the women they are attacking are likely 10 times as competent as the men they share departments with, are paid less, are less likely to be promoted, are often forced into non-career-advancing busy work like planning parties, and taking on advising roles that would never be forced on men; are often sexually harassed, threatened and so on; and they are usually completely isolated from normal professional goings-on (especially with female colleagues), unless they support the male party line. To put forth a strong feminist agenda, even in a ‘Gender’ Studies department (the name change says it all – welcome to women’s non-rights in the 21st century) will destroy your career. I watched it happen in my own department in the US when I was a grad student. A committed single (sort of asexual, although not labelled) female professor, top of her field, prominent in the media, well-published and cited, yet treated like shit in our department dared to complain about sexual bias. She ended up blacklisted from academia and had to go to the private sector. Meanwhile, the male professor who would play with his crotch while lesbian grad students met with him in his office, and who threw away a week of lectures in our hardcore stats class because he couldn’t figure out what he was doing, is a full professor now. Untouchable. Further, all the non-white male lecturers got tenure; none of the females did while I was a grad student there. Well, one black woman – no white women nor the one aboriginal woman was promoted. Myself, I had the highest teaching rating of all the grad students. I was in line to receive a prestigious teaching award, but the female prof on the awards committee told me that they were going to give it to an Asian male with lower ratings. She said, “he needed it”. And I didn’t? Why did he need it more than me? He didn’t end up in a teaching career. I did. I needed that award. He is making 6 figures. I am unemployed. And I seldom earn above minimum wage, and that’s when people aren’t trying to force me into volunteer work or work-stay exchange situations (which are more likely to be forced on white women than anyone else, since we are all supposed to be the supported playthings of rich white males with time on our hands, right?)
But this was the 1990’s. Surely things have changed, right? Millennials and Gen Z’s I meet keep telling me that women are EQUAL now. They don’t face misogyny in universities, of course! Could it be? Have things changed radically?
Well, I spent a year in the American college system as a student during this past year, and no, things are not equal. Not in the slightest. Almost all the full professorships are still held by men. Women are taken on board on a casual lecturer basis, most often. I looked up the salaries at the public colleges I attended. One of my male teachers was making over $130,000 per year. He showed films all the time, frequently cancelled class, and I remember we had a quiz in class one day, and he announced gleefully, “Nap time!” Working hard, earning his pay! I had two stellar female teachers, highly committed to students, put in extra work, stayed after class, etc. My favourite, had a listed salary of $19,000 despite extensive expertise in her field. Never once yelled “Nap time!” for herself when we had tests. The other was teaching a double load at the College and University because she couldn’t get hired as full-time staff and had to make ends meet.
Canada is no better. No way. I’m currently exploring a possible PhD program as my two Masters degrees have been the worst professional decisions for my career possible, besides deciding to work in China. I would never recommend a terminal Masters to any woman unless she is already in a job that requires it for her to advance. As it is, I’m too educated for lower level jobs (I’m a risk because I’ll leave once I see something better!), but I’m not educated enough for the jobs I’m intellectually capable of. I also have a weird resume – my education doesn’t match my vast, but colourful, job experience, so that is seen as a risk too. (why aren’t I specialized or in management???) So I’m looking at PhDs as a possible option in these turbulent times. I’ve found a perfect program in Canada, and I’ve explored the faculty members thoroughly. Now as we all know, the current political climate is focused on forced diversity. What does that mean? Well, it means ensuring that non-white people populate the higher echelons, even if it doesn’t accurately reflect the local community. And this agenda has been successful all over North America. This department I’m looking at is mostly non-white, despite being located in a province that is over 90% white (try forcing diversity in any non-Western country and see how that works…).
Now what is blatant, but will never be addressed, is that there are no female core faculty members. I think there are one or two adjunct female lecturers. And it’s not a Physics department where you would expect that kind of misogyny. So I’m thinking to myself – what has been solved here? Why are Millennials and Gen Z’s so fucking deluded? This department is operating in a mainly white community where over half the population is female (the latter being normal in all corners of the world, of course). And they’ve populated their departments with foreign, non-white males, although white males are also present as they always are. And there is a huge immigration drive here. I agree with having foreign faculty in all countries – definitely! you need international expertise to boost your research agenda and perspectives – but I also believe you need to solve your problems at home first. And the problem that needs to be addressed EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD is this: woman are not represented. And it’s not for lack of intelligence, experience or education. Most of our undergraduate students are female. The majority of grad students are female in a growing number of departments. But conversely, in most departments, all or almost all of the tenured faculty are male (of multiple races). And no, the problem is not that women are just starting to get PhDs in 2020. Try decades of increasing numbers of female PhD graduates. So, something else is going on that keeps women out of jobs fitting their education and that pays them for the 8-12 years of post-secondary education they sweated through while living at poverty levels. Where is the drive to allow women into the halls of intellect, of power? How can we effect change when female students don’t see a place for themselves in academic institutions? Let’s stop taking tuition money from women and girls while not allowing them a chance to find economic freedom and influence in policy, research, and the realm of discovery. Everyone is happy to take our money, but we are still denied power. Education is, first and foremost, a tool, not a hobby for women.
Part of the problem in many Western countries with predominantly white populations is that in the drive for racial diversity, white women have been lumped in with white males. And established white workers are almost always male. White female jobs are ‘last in, first cut’. And if those jobs open up, white women are not usually considered ‘diversity hires’ even though they are vastly underrepresented and always have been. See, men only share with us when they are trying to shove some of the responsibility for problems (i.e., racism) onto someone else or to find a scapegoat to blame or punish. White women have never had a kick at the can of power. We have fought harder than most women to achieve rights, but are not actually benefiting our own selves from this hard work despite what non-white women say. We are still underrepresented in all areas of power, including academia, even when we are a majority in the local population. Yet we are told over and over that our ‘white privilege’, which actually is ‘white male privilege’, is unjust. Politically, in the West, it has gone this way: white men have dominated forever. They still dominate, but are slowly on the way out. (And they fucking hate it!) Diversity is the buzzword of the day. So the bottom line is: if a job is going to be a special population hire, white women, who are underprivileged, are ‘white’ and thus left out. We’ve never had our time and never will, in other words.
So is it worth it for me to even try? I’m already an undesirable because I’m middle aged. Second most invisible time in a woman’s life except old age. And men have hurt my career prospects so many times. I’ve been pinched, talked down to/mansplained to, micromanaged (among other psychological techniques used to push women out), sexually harassed, forced into lady-busy-work, passed over for awards and promotions and recognition, given heavier workloads than male counterparts, and threatened by colleagues and bosses and advisors. I’ve often had to leave. Fear. Frustration. Stagnation. Men don’t experience this, can’t understand this, and downplay or dismiss it as crazy talk if you even bother to explain. I don’t get the sense that anything has changed for the better for my demographic, even though I’m told over and over that women, in general, are equal now, and that white women, specifically, have all the power. Where is this actually reflected? I don’t see it. And trust me, I am looking hard.
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A Dangerous Woman
When you write about feminist (and I really mean female separatist) issues, you know you are writing about truth, the subjective truths of individual women and the objective truth that is living as a woman in a male-dominated society. Sometimes, you are writing about things that happened to you or other women in the past. Sometimes, you are writing about current events. Sometimes, you are writing about theories, fantasies, and things that could be possible or are definitely not possible in the world as it exists.
When you are out in the real world, you have a mask on. You can’t really talk about what you write or experience or observe. You’ll be gaslit by all men, and the vast majority of straight women. You’ll be verbally and maybe physically attacked. You’ll lose opportunities for jobs, social connections and other things you need to survive. You are a ‘dangerous’ woman, despite how vulnerable you feel. It is possible to be dangerous and vulnerable at the same time. But here’s the thing, the danger you pose is not a real danger like the danger that all men pose to women and girls. It is a perceived danger, and only ideological at that. When you question the status quo – that males run the show and women and girls exist in a state of subservience and suffering at the whim of males – or if you present data that confirm that the status quo is what you say it is, you threaten the male power base. Danger to males means not being able to walk the planet able to do whatever they please with impunity. It is not the same as how females understand danger – bodily harm, sexual threats, isolation, poverty, starvation, death – although males try to equate them or even elevate their idea of danger in importance.
If you’re lucky, you can wear the mask in public and then come home to a place where the mask comes off and you can be yourself and live in relative safety. If you are straight and have chosen to live with a male, you may still wear the mask at home, but I’m tired of people talking about straight women, and the privilege they orbit, and how it can go wrong. If you choose to swim with sharks and you get bit, why are you surprised, ffs??? I mean, we have been bombarded by d.v. data for decades, and women still choose to ignore it. Complicated issue and reasons for ignoring reality, but not going to be addressed here. No, I’m talking about the brave women who reject cock, are punished for it on many levels, are forced to wear a second mask in public because they are deemed even more dangerous than an outspoken straight woman, and then because of poverty, are forced to wear the mask at home because of lack of choice in living situations.
There is little worse than being a poor lesbian or asexual who tries to stay away from men, but is forced to share living space with male strangers because she can’t afford anything else. I’m talking living in hostels, living in houses with multiple rooms rented out (where the renters are chosen by a landlord who doesn’t live in the house, not the renters who have to share the space), living in women’s shelters or prisons where violent male trannies posing as women are allowed in. In these cases, the women must wear multiple masks in public and then wear at least one at ‘home’. To take the mask off in a space where you are supposed to be safe also shows you to be dangerous, and then your ‘threat’ becomes exposed to the straight women and men living with you. Your housing becomes further insecure since you have become a perceived threat, especially if you complain, and you sense that your very life may be in danger because one thing is true: unlike women, when men get scared and threatened, they turn to violence and lash out. They target the perceived source of their fear – a woman who doesn’t literally or figuratively suck their cock or any cock, for that matter; a woman who doesn’t pay them enough attention, attention that they deserve as males; a woman who is a lesbian; it could be anything as no one needs a reason to attack a woman – and they try to take back the power they think they deserve and that they think has been taken away from them (aka ’emasculation’).
I firmly believe that financial independence is crucial for all women so that they may have safety and choices in life, and to help eliminate forced heterosexuality. Women are only dangerous because men say we are, and as we all know, in the he said/she said game, what he says goes. Always.
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The Confluence of Two American Patriarchal Scourges
This post is part of a few series. Find it among the following:
Background
I’ve been to a few Prides here and there in various cities. I’ve gone even though I’m not so much into large group events, and even though I attend without knowing anyone since I move around a lot. I go for a few reasons. First, I like to check out the local scene. I find it extremely hard to meet lesbians, especially lesbians who are man-hating, pro-women, non-intersectional, and anti-natal. (Do they even exist???) And second, Pride is supposed to be a celebration of something that on any other day gets you hated and mistrusted by women and pornified by men. Pride came about to allow a seriously oppressed population the chance to feel normal of sorts among others who understood them and the daily challenges of not following the hetero rules of raping and impregnating bitches or being that raped and impregnated bitch. Gay men, of course, have always turned Pride into a bit of a sex-fest. That is what men do regardless of which holes they fuck; everything is sex to them. Lesbians: I think they just wanted to be acknowledged, accepted and then left to their own devices. Kind of a ‘we exist, thank you, now fuck off and stop raping us and demonizing us’ sort of thing.
I volunteered for Pride in the American city where I was living last year, but this time, it was a sort of Bizarro, alterego of Superman kind of Pride – very ass-backwards compared to the Prides I had attended long ago. For one, Pride is no longer peaceful. The gay men are still loud and proud and focused on sex, as per usual. But then again, the shit that has been happening lately is happening to women, not men. Gay men have the privilege and luxury of being able to focus on their own brand of fun as there is no threat posed to them. Their space remains intact and their bodies unassaulted. But for lesbians, there is an element of violence and aggression, and within-group policing and hovering threats that never existed before. I felt afraid sitting in my volunteer orientation. I was more afraid of the people in the Pride group than I was of potential violent nutjobs from the crowd. And I’ll tell you why.
Enter the trans. The cause of the violence and aggression and general feeling of unease.
I couldn’t even figure out whether there were any actual lesbians in my volunteer group. The word ‘lesbian’ wasn’t uttered a single time during my multi-hour orientation. But 30 minutes on pronouns and another 30 on triggering and another 60 boiling down to how, basically, it is not possible to have a comfortable conversation anymore, even with people you are supposed to be bonding with because they share your experience. There is nothing shared anymore (except perhaps for fear on the parts of lesbians). The sense of erasure and danger and WTF is going on? was heavy and knife-cuttable-throughable. All due to trans. So the peaceful factor was gone completely. Erase women and you erase any chance for logic and peace… Besides the trans, lesbians have further been erased and replaced by Generation Z(ombie) Queer Hitler-Youth types, ready to narc on anyone who doesn’t suck lady cock or admits they are just a plain old lesbian, or shhhhhh, they have a vagina.
But I digress. I’d like to talk more about my experience with my most recent American Pride, but that is for another post.
Look at Eldridge surrounded by naked white females wearing his dick pants. Always black guys with the ‘raping the white ladies’ fantasy.
I want to talk about trans2, one of the worst things to happen to America since… Larry Flint?… the incel movement took hold? … I don’t know. It’s hard to pick one horrible event as life as a woman is basically “Okay, what next, you fucking rapists?” But it gets worse. Imagine that the trans mindset melded with the BLM (Black Lives Matter – or what it really is: BDM – Black Dicks Matter) mindset, the latter also being one of the worst things to happen to America since MLK approved the rape of a parishioner or prominent Black Panthers member and convicted rapist, Eldridge Cleaver, designed his male supremacist ‘Virility Pants’. (I’ve written about Black Dicks Matter before.)
When you put trans and BLM’ers together you get a fucking insane group of lady-cock, race supremacist, history revisionist, white woman-raping, assholes. In many ways, they are worse than the plain old ex-military white trannies with their muscles and bad wigs. BLT’s are self-made uber-victims and are loving it. Like all trans today, they are transing dead gay men and non-conforming women and otherwise rewriting history. They are claiming that they started the Stonewall riots. In reality, the riots were incited by a LESBIAN, an XX, a WOMAN, half-white/half-black, Stormé DeLarverie, who had been assaulted by police. Now the black trannie dudes will not only ignore this well-corroborated fact, and insist that black trannies (i.e., men) incited and led the entire riot scene. They have taken GAY black MALE, Malcolm Michaels and turned him into a transwoman. Malcolm was at the riots, but didn’t start them. He also knew he was a MAN and GAY and a DRAG QUEEN. But he is dead, and dead men can’t argue or clear up lies and other bullshit. The trans have done this with numerous gender non-conformers throughout history to bolster their numbers. It is dishonest and dilusional.
To all those idiots who think white male trans are ugly and non-whites magically do lady-face right, look again. Sexy hot, amiright? And this is a model… Leaving names off, but you can figure it out yourself.
Now, I’m going to say one more thing about the so-called feminists who don’t support the trans takeover, but who have no problem with men of colour dominating all women. I have noticed in a lot of chat spaces that the urge to shit on white people is irresistible, and the common theme is that a) white males are responsible for the trans horrors, b) white males make fucking ugly ‘chicks’, whereas all the non-white trannnies seem to be so beautiful and elegant. And I have to put my foot down and say “stop and open you gd eyes.” It’s as bad as the trans making up stuff to fit their narrative. White people are not responsible for every bad thing in the world. Sorry. You want it to be true, but it’s not. Second, there are tons of ugly non-white trannies. Go online and do a search in your favourite search engine with the keywords ‘black trans’, and you will see some of the butt-ugliest dudes in dresses that you will ever see. And they don’t ‘pass’. They are so very clearly male, it’s not funny. And for the truly brave and those who have a high tolerance for yuck, take your safe search off, and do an image search for ‘ugly black trannies’. Then you get tons of porn shots of some of the butt-ugliest dudes with their dresses OFF that you will ever see. Put your ‘must fight racism against the poor, poor oppressed menz!’ and pickme urges in the freezer for a while. Reality is uncomfortable at first, but is a much less mindfuckable place to be in the long-run. And you are less likely to hurt women, too! Added bonus of accepting reality!
In short, this is a loud, violent, delusional group of males who benefit from two of the most powerful and supported man-centred faux-victim groups in the US. Don’t get sucked into supporting anti-woman policy because you are brainwashed into believing you’re evil because of your skin colour. You will never win. They are male and they will try to kill you eventually, physically or through policy. Unlike with white males, these guys will double-whammie you with “You’re racist AND transphobic!!” and there is nothing you will be able to do to assert your humanity as a woman (and you’ll be double screwed if you’re a white woman).
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The Three Douchebags of the Coronapocalypse
Three apocalyptic heroes: Trump, Xi and Putin. Who needs a brain when you have a penis?
Just an intro
Sorry so silent. There is so much to write. And this is the perfect time for writing. There is nothing to do, and I’m trapped in a true shithole: America. Luckily, not New York – I feel bad for those fuckers. Truly. That shit storm could have been prevented. And it is getting worse. And it is entirely possible, given the true lack of leadership, brain power, and coordination between states, that the US is going to see even harder times during what was fast becoming a serious problem due to income disparity, housing shortages, climate change problems, and a low point for women. Perhaps my new series on the American Downfall, which had been brewing in my mind for a while was aptly timed.
But let’s get into some particulars. I want to take a look at three very special narcissistic psychopaths who have more power than anyone deserves and who run completely unopposed in a way that matters.
China – President Xi Jinping
Luckily/unluckily, I have a shit ton of experience with the Chinese, how they think about things, how they operate, and how they destroy people from the inside out. I lived there in a surreal hell cumulatively for nearly a decade – a hell where you constantly feel like you are fucked no matter what you do or what you say. They are masters of psychological punishment and retribution, and experts on ‘spin’. As I have mentioned before, I had a Chinese leader at a college I worked and lived at look me in the eye and say with a straight face that they locked us in our building at night for our own safety.
Throughout history, the Chinese government has perpetrated numerous crimes against humanity – often unhidden crimes spun as ‘for your own good’ measures – and haven’t ever once taken responsibility for a single one, even when the hard cold truth is laid out before them. A thousand years of foot-binding is never talked about – it is suppressed women’s history, after all. Who cares? They also don’t teach their children that China bought and owned African slaves for hundreds of years. My students often like to talk about Americans like they are evil for their history of slavery, but the fact is that black flesh was bought and sold by Arabs and Asians long before even white Europeans and later, American men, got in on the action. And speaking of criticizing Americans, please note that while the US is good at incarcerating people, the Chinese are best at incarcerating and killing people. China kills more prisoners per year than all the other countries of the world combined. They don’t talk about it, though. Suppressed information. It is impressive, this ongoing cover-up of history and facts, but you definitely want to admire it from outside their sphere of influence.
It is not possible, however, to live outside their latest influence because the sphere is the entire globe – the COVID-19 pandemic. They may not have deliberately created this situation, but they certainly facilitated it. And they are squarely in denial mode, and are still spreading lies throughout their population that the virus didn’t start in China. I have several former students checking in with me on Chinese social media to smugly inform me that a) the virus actually started in Italy or the US (or whatever the rumour of the day spread by the state-owned media is over there), and b) China is superior at containing the virus. What they don’t say to me is that China has been superior at exporting the virus. And they have also been superior (as they have been for years) at hiding information, failing to report data, and intimidating and punishing people who have tried to expose the truth or criticize the government (which are seen as the same thing over there). Like everywhere, there are good, honest people in China, but they don’t survive well under an oppressive regime.
Looking at China’s recent history, what is happening now is nothing new. The previous president, Hu Jintao, was a typical Chinese leader now famous for suppressing information about SARS for over a month, holding the doctor who leaked the information to the world in prison for 45 days. Luckily, SARS only spread to 26 countries. I lived in Taiwan, a hotspot, at that time – 2003. And I was continuously told that the US had concocted the virus and deliberately infected China with it. Same Chinese tactics – blame someone else, refuse all responsibility.
Xi Jinping has followed suit, but he is a hell of a lot worse than President Hu. Admired by the populace as a president “working to stamp out corruption”, he has ended up implementing measures to reduce government accountability and transparency (not that the Chinese government was ever either of the two), and ensure more corruption. Xi named himself lifelong dear leader recently, and showers his cronies with rewards. He is possibly just as powerful as former notorious Chinese dictator, Mao Zedong. Xi has managed to wage a war on Canada due to the Huawei debacle, even killing an incarcerated and already sentenced Canadian, as revenge for Canada arresting the multi-millionaire Huawei CFO and keeping her under house arrest in Vancouver (she has a few million-dollar homes in my country). As a professional bully, Xi has also forced several international airlines to stop saying that Taiwan is a country. American Airlines, Delta and United, Lufthansa and numerous other airlines have kneeled to suck Chinese dick. Pathetic. In the last little while, he has imprisoned over a million Chinese muslims in concentration camps – sorry ‘reeducation facilities’ – Islam is seen as a mental health problem (I think all religion is a mental health problem, but incarceration or conversion can’t fix that problem…). Xi has cracked down even further on free speech, especially on the internet. He employs millions of people to police the internet and thousands are arrested every year for saying the wrong thing. The online presence of a gay and lesbian group at a university where I was living was recently shut down, students were interrogated. And now he has become the man responsible of the spread of the Coronavirus to, let me check… 180 countries (as of today, April 1st – and that’s no joke). Note to President Xi: you can cover up rape and murder in your country, but you can’t hide an epidemic, no matter how many scientists you arrest.
Classic Chinese thinking (Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesperson, Geng Shuang)
“China didn’t start it. China is not responsible for it either.”
Oh, and by the way, speaking of Chinese power and free speech suppression, we have: the Spanish flu, German measles, Middle Eastern Respiratory Syndrome (MERS), and more, but we can’t call COVID-19 the Chinese flu or Wuhan flu, despite the fact that China, and specifically Wuhan, is the origin of this disease. Stop coddling the psychopaths. It reminds me of Saturday Night Live – long-running American comedy show notorious for making fun of almost anyone and everything. I grew up watching it. I have noticed that President Xi is the only major political leader who is off-limits, and China is never joked about. As I’ve been predicting for years now, China has begun its empire, and the US is on the way out.
USA – President Donald Trump
And Trump is helping the US on its bizarre downward spiral. Only in the US, a country that claims to uphold freedom like no other country in history or in the modern world, can someone like Trump be freely elected. Only in the US, a country with the power to impeach leaders, can someone like Trump remain in office. This is a stupid man. An ignorant man. A man who doesn’t understand much, let alone science. A man who cares more about Twitter and his television presence than actual politics and the people he has been elected to protect and serve. A man who was recorded making rape comments about women and who has been accused of raping, attempting to rape and sexually assaulting numerous times since 1989. His rape comments have been recorded and made public and still he remains. Women have been surprisingly complacent about what this man stands for. Knitting fucking hats for fuck sake. Instead of demanding the recall of this human excrement. You poor brainwashed women. You’ve allowed men to shut you up, derail you, and make you believe you are free when in fact you are no better off than women in other woman-hating countries/cultures.
Rapey Trump quotes:
“I moved on her like a bitch.”
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
To me, that is his worst quality, and I think he should be put to death because of rape – like any and all men in the world. But if his deep-seated misogyny doesn’t move you, there is plenty of other shit to make you question his ability to lead effectively.
The man is stupid. I was flying within the US a few years ago, and an elderly American couple that was sitting beside me asked me what I though of Trump. Now, being a Canadian, I am pretty polite and mild-mannered, and I gave some non-answer meant to keep me unassaulted. I am so used to dealing with crazies and I am so used to being verbally (and sexually and physically) attacked for being a lone white woman (WWWW – walking while a white woman), that I just try not to rock the boat (or plane) unless I know I can escape. Long story short, the couple ended up being anti-Trump, and I finished our Trump discussion with an analysis that I though the man saw what he was doing as some sort of game. He is used to being on television where nothing is real and everything is drama. And I really think he extends this little fantasy life into the real world. The presidency is just one more game to him. But he is also stupid. I can’t say this enough times. Seriously.
I am not sure why he is allowed to speak in public. His own party is starting to distance themselves (see this article, from The Atlantic, written by a Republican). And following every statement that he makes, it seems like member of his entourage needs to go back and do damage control, placating the enraged, correcting erroneous ‘facts’, and dialing back fantastical promises and predictions. I mean, history is riddled with insane and/or stupid MEN with too much power doing and saying stuff and people having to clean up after them. And often these types of leaders, if left unchecked, can spell the downfall of a society.
If you want a clear sign that the US is falling, this is it. I would argue that two terms of Bush Junior was the writing on the wall – I mean seriously, he was dumb and aggressive and offensive and did huge damage to the reputation of the US, but Americans wanted him not once, but fucking TWICE. [Does everyone remember that hilarious, but significant, televised press conference where that Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at Bush’s head??? If that doesn’t say dunzo for America, I don’t know what would…] The acceptance of Trump doesn’t surprise me one bit, and the complacency exhibited by ignorant Americans is just a death rattle in my ears. Americans, I’m embarrassed for you, but you made your bed.
Now, getting to the virus. Trump has made the mistake of turning this virus into a blame game with Xi. They are both narcissistic psychopaths with testoterone poisoning. Xi began the coronavirus pandemic when he suppressed vital information about what was going on and thus releasing the virus out into the world at large. He is 100% responsible for that, but Trump has devastated America by behaving ignorantly, ignoring medical professionals, putting on his “We’re number one!” dumb American act (this virus can’t touch us, we’re so fucking powerful routine), and failing to take necessary precautions. So now, at this writing, the US is the most infected country in the world with nearly 204,000 cases. And it will get much worse. And Trump is fully to blame for this. My own country, despite sharing the longest border in the world, is weathering things well. We paid attention to past epidemics, we are responding intelligently and promptly. I just hope that American ignorance doesn’t destroy us too and that Trudeau doesn’t decide to suck Trump’s dick. Myself, I am stuck here in the US. I can’t go home, and if I could, I don’t know if I would at this point. Travelling ups your chances for infection, and I’d hate to import and infect my fellow countrywomen. I’ll write a different post on the shitty treatment a legal foreigner faces in the US at this time…
Honestly, now that I’m back in the US, I don’t see a lot of differences between the Chinese and Americans. They share so many qualities. The leaders do too. Both places are terrible for women. Both places perpetuate ignorance, but as I’ll write about in another post, I really feel that Americans celebrate ignorance on a whole different level in comparison to the Chinese or anyone else on the planet, for that matter. Ignorance is entertainment and it is accepted. Chinese just pass the buck, or the RMB, I should say. It’s an excuse machine.
Classic Trump:
“It’s going to disappear. One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear”
Russia – President Vladimir Putin
Where the fuck is Putin? And what is actually going on in Russia? Now, I’m going to admit that I don’t have much experience at all with Russians, and I have never lived in, let alone been to Russia. So I can’t speak to the Russian mind or way of doing things. They do have that same bizarre, bastardized, communist mentality that you see in other places like China. But Putin has put out a different image than Xi. But I included him here because he is a major player, and he is a narcissistic psychopath like Xi and Trump, regardless of his politics.
So, what is going on in Russia? Does anyone know? If you go by the little that Putin has said, he is behaving like a typical communist leader. Everything is rah-rah-rah. The government is fucking amazing. Everyone and everything is fine. Black out bad news that paints the government in a bad light or that might force the leader to take responsibility for their actions. If I look at my trusty Coronavirus map, there are only 2,777 cases in Russia. This seems odd in a country that borders 14 other countries, including China and with populated areas close to virus-overrun Europe. They also have 144 million people. How can they have so few cases? One explanation is that this is how communist regimes work. Cover up the truth, etc. But Russia also has a crappy health care system, and word is starting to get out that things are much worse than reported. One of the major problems with Russia’s data suppression moves is that Russian travel has not been restricted. They aren’t seen as a risk zone, they haven’t been quarantined or put on flight ban lists. And the result is that the general feeling among the population is that Putin is a hero and the virus will sidestep Russia because of it.
The common Russian view:
“I don’t believe in coronavirus.”
Now, it just came out yesterday that a doctor who just tested positive for the virus met with Putin unprotected. They shook hands. Moscow has been put on lockdown for a week (actually a week-long paid vacation), and the government has implemented a ID system similar to that described to me by my former students in China. They will have to register and show ID if they want to go out to procure food. But unfortunately, much of Russia is either doing business as usual or only has partial lockdown. Let’s see what happens.
Andrei Kolesnikov, political analyst, Moscow:
“It’s a clear message that we are better equipped due to our political system. [Putin] is sure that he is more efficient and this is a case to demonstrate his superiority in that sense.”
Conclusion
Can we fuck off with the politics and just work together to solve the problem?
No, a resounding no. This is how men work. May the best psychopath win!
Stay safe and smart, ladies. And stay away from men if you can. They are always filthy germ-carriers, no matter the disease. We know this from personal observation and from published research. As an example, among educated people in the workplace, “only 31% of men and 65% of women washed their hands” after going to the toilet. If you are going to catch the C-virus, it will likely be a man infecting you. What’s new?
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The Female Equivalent of Emasculation?
Well, my goodness, I haven’t written in a year-and-a-half. That was not intended, but it has been a stressful and odd, but ultimately productive time since the summer of 2018. I became busy self-empowering and exploring and working through a lot of China-rage. And as I may have alluded to or come right out and said in past posts, I was actively seeking to get my ass out of mainland China. And by gum, I did it!
China was becoming a scarier and scarier place over time. As a Canadian, I began fearing for my life – I was even threatened by a Chinese male colleague at the college where I was working part time. Google the Huawei debacle if you’re interested and find out how the US put Canadians in danger. It’s great being a chess piece on an international game board used by psychotic capitalist dictator (Trump) on the one side and psychotic communo-capitalist dictator (Xi) on the other. Long story short, China began arresting Canadians right left and centre, and even more scarily, revisited an already sentenced and jailed Canadian and changed his sentence to execution in retaliation. Americans were oblivious, as usual, but my Canadian friends were sending me regular messages urging me to get the hell out of China. That’s not why I left, but the timing was appropriate. And now that China has developed another nasty virus to export, I’m even happier that I’m not there. Hopefully, that will be contained. We’ve just seen the first international death (in the Philippines) from the Chinese coronavirus.
I’m in the US, currently, but I may, in my next post, discuss why it really is not the place I fell for many years ago. Especially as a woman. But I’m getting off-track here. Forgive me, it has been a while.
I wanted to discuss something that has been on my mind plenty in the past, and now again, since I’ve been back in the US amid whiny black, white and other non-white men. And that is this thing called ’emasculation’. It is a word that inspires an immediate and instinctive chuckle in me, for a few reasons. First, in the literal sense, I love thinking about men losing their dicks. Personally, I think all baby boys should have their dicks removed at birth. The Jewish had half a good idea – they didn’t go far enough. It wouldn’t harm males at all, and it would solve so many of our current problems. Messes in the bathroom on the annoying end of the scale of male problem-causing, and rape on the most serious end of male scourgedom. Men seem to be so much more obsessed with anal sex anyways, so it would be a favour to them to refocus their attention on their butts instead of their dicks. So yeah, literal emasculation sends thrill chills up and down my spine.
But when men talk about emasculation, most of the time, they are talking about having their rights as men privilege taken away. By women – that is the important part. It’s pretty much just over-emotional over-sensitivity – something most feminists call ‘butt hurtness’. But the scary part is that this feeling – and remember it is only a feeling, and an irrational one at that – fuels a lot of the violence and hate that men have for and enact on women. Boiled down, man believes he owns the world (and women) and is owed respect by all women. Pretty much anything can ’cause’ a man to feel emasculated. All you have to do is just stand there as a woman and if a man feels that you have dissed him in some way, you have emasculated him. But really, it is any word, behaviour, look on your face, thing you’re wearing that can be irrationally understood by men as being an attack on him as a man. I think it is connected to his ‘intuition‘.
A man really has to subscribe to the religion known as gender to feel emasculated. And that means he believes intrinsically (even if he says the opposite publicly) that men are superior to women in all ways that matter. He also has to believe that there is a different set of standards for women to adhere to, and which includes, serving men. The standards would be degrading for men to have to follow, but they are perfectly acceptable to force on women. Again, he may not publicly admit he believes this, or may not be intelligent enough to even articulate it to himself. But the fundamental belief in the inferiority of women drives the whole irrational over-sensitivity machine that men seem to constantly experience.
So let’s turn this around. Is there an equivalent to emasculation for women? Short answer here is a resounding ‘no’. The gender religion negates this possibility. Let’s explore why this is so. [I did write a post on the close link between infantilization and feminization, which is related, but not exactly what I’m talking about here.] There are actually women who get pissy if you take away their ‘woman essence’ as it is dictated by men and embraced by female hetero sheep, but it isn’t an equivalent. I’ll give some examples below.
So for men, a feeling of emasculation means that he believes his right to intimidate women, have economic, sexual, political, legal (insert anything else here) power over women has been taken away. Example: a woman earns more than her husband, therefore she is emasculating him (his economic power as a man over her as a woman is taken away). He is justified in getting angry and blaming her for his irrational feelings, and if he wants to beat the shit out of her, well, can you blame him????
There isn’t actually a word for this phenomenon for women. That should tell you everything you need to know. Degradation – and that is what this feeling or state is all about – is ACCEPTABLE and normal for women. Women don’t have power. Women don’t have privilege. So they aren’t there for you to take away and women can’t feel like they have lost something. Only a member of the master class can create these feelings in themselves because they have all the power and they know it on some level. And most women don’t believe they are superior either – that is key. If you aren’t factually superior, and you don’t believe you are superior (even if you can’t articulate your feeling of superiority, even to yourself), then you can’t feel like something has been taken away.
Now, let’s come back to those women who truly subscribe to the gender religion. There are women who feel like their societally-contrived gender role is being taken away – usually, it is a response to ‘feminists’ who are actively fighting against gender roles and the forced inferiority of women by men and their henchwomen. For example, these are the women who get angry when people call them the more humanizing and equalizing ‘Ms.’ instead of ‘Mrs.’ because marriage is supposed to be some kind of achievement (instead of an institution firmly rooted in female slavery). They are also the women who get angry or disgusted when women wear pants suits instead of irrationally showing up at work exposing their legs in skirts (why is it only important for women to expose their bodies in the workplace…??? Can you imaging a man showing up to a business meeting in assless chaps?) And there are millions of examples of this weird pissiness at opposition to forced femininity. Gender role adherents will feel like their ‘womanhood’ is being attacked. Their right to be weak and helpless and feminine and exploited, as if that is the very definition of what a woman is according to a god or Nature (which, of course, it isn’t – purely MANmade). And encountering these types of women is confusing, frustrating, and ultimately sad and harmful to women as a group. And of course, this symptom of Stockholm Syndrome isn’t a true equivalent to men’s irrational feeling of emasculation. The only thing natural about it is that it is a normal and non-threatening response of the colonized mind to rationalize harm by male power. Otherwise, women would have to fight men for their freedom to leave gender in the dust. That can get women killed, beaten, raped, etc. Easier to nod and smile, wear the flipping pink skirt suit, and attack one’s fellow slaves regularly.
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Isolating Women
I’ve spent all of my adult life trying to foster sisterhood through various means in different settings. Despite it being something I have always craved and needed, it has always been, continues to be, and likely will always be a Sisyphean endeavour.
Why?
I’ve come to realize that not only are all females around the world trained from birth to mistrust, hate and betray other females in order to receive crumbs of power and affection mingled with abuse from males, but the vast majority of women have no interest in changing this sad and unnatural dynamic.
The system is such that any woman who seeks to fight against it is more likely to be destroyed by other women than by the masters (men) themselves. Men design the system and pull the strings. The women do the dirty work, destroying one another through isolation and the subsequent stripping of power that can only come through the strength in numbers that a sisterhood would offer. It’s a slick move on the part of men. Despite being the puppet masters, most men see the cock proxy evil that women do to other women as evidence of female cruelty rather than brainwashing and fear of repercussions. All evil regimes have been run this way. Nazis, for example, put Jewish representatives in charge of the day-to-day abuse of fellow Jews in the ghettos and camps to avoid getting their hands dirty and create mistrust among members of the group itself. Under any such regime based on fear and violence, the victims then focus on the traitors within their own class, learn to mistrust one another, seek to betray one another in order to gain favour with and avoid punishment from the master class, and all the while, the true powers that be continue to reap the benefits, tsk-tsk’ing over the pettiness and ‘innate’ nastiness of the underclass or slave class. I mean seriously, how often have you heard men comment on the petty cruelty of how women treat each other? And they are correct in so far as it is the only way women can interact with each other ‘safely’ under Patriarchal rule.
So, how are women isolated from one another? How is sisterhood discouraged? How do women pick on one another in order to curry favour with their be-penised overlords? In a system built on sex-based discrimination, isolation is tied to female deviation from sex-oriented norms. The less you follow traditional sex role requirements, the more you are isolated from other women and the less power and voice you have. Thus, not using your vagina or uterus, or following the rules that a god or nature men and men alone have laid out for us is grounds for dismissal and hate. Men already create isolation for women based on race, but of course, as we all know, race is a discrimination that arises solely from sexism and the male coveting and control of the pussy and uteri within one’s group and the punishment of men of other groups through the pussy and uteri that other group owns. It’s all about woman-hate and without it, there is no racism. Women bear the burden of racism and the blame for racism. Men of different races are more likely to bond over woman-hate than women of different races are to bond over rape and other woman-torture by men. Sisterhood across race is hard to achieve as a result. Thanks to patriarchal design.
But back to traditional pussy-use and the punishment of women who rebel by women who comprise the cowardly, brainwashed majority. And yes, there is no bravery in complying with what men want. Remember that. To chalk hating and destroying other women and engaging in pro-Patriarchy, anti-woman rituals and traditions up to ‘survival’ is bullshit and apologism at its worst. Call it what it really is: cowardice and ignorance through and through.
While ultimately, men are responsible for turning women into woman-haters, I do hold women responsible for what they do to others. Being abused is never an excuse for ‘paying it forward’ to people who don’t deserve your hate. I’d much rather see women attacking men than other women. But alas, that is not the situation.
Childlessness
Despite what you may think, there is no group of women more hated and isolated than the childless, especially the childless by choice. Non-breeding is the absolute worst crime a woman can commit in any society as it is a direct denial of the accepted definition of woman as Cunt-on-Legs and as Uterus. To refuse to use the vagina and uterus as traditionalists mandate is to somehow deny womanhood and scare the living shit out of men and the women who service them. The childless woman can be partially forgiven if she is physically unable to have children. Her crime is usually accompanied by constant pleas for forgiveness on the basis that she “wishes she could have children” and she “loves children so, so much”. But those women who choose not to breed for whatever reason? They are deemed deserving of unspeakable punishment on several levels, and this is true in all societies, all cultures and in every race. Her choice renders her not just sub-human, but non-human. Unnatural. Selfish. Demonic. Evil. Suspect. A destroyer of cultures and races. Someone who deprives men of their birthright. And an uppity bitch who denigrates the sacred, mystical, goddess-like status of motherhood. I can tell you from a lifetime of tedious, repetitive experience that the cruelty and dehumanization done to non-breeding women by breeding women is constant, even though breeding women often try to paint themselves as the ultimate victims. Breeding women have much more power and acceptance and social, legal and economic rewards than non-breeding women, even when they are horrible, neglectful and/or abusive mothers who became pregnant by accident, who hate children, or who had children because they want unconditional love from a powerless someone who can’t escape them (at least for a handful of years). I’ve experienced a lifetime of a parade of cast-iron pots calling a stainless steel kettle black.
Most non-breeders-by-choice also beg for forgiveness like the officially barren, but they also tend to have the mindset instilled in them through brainwashing from birth that they are selfish. I went through this myself. I used to apologize to breeders, if you can believe it, by telling them “I’m too selfish to be a mother.” I feel sick to my stomach when I remember these masochistic sessions where the breeder would look down her nose at me, and I would show my shame and embarrassment at my clear immaturity and general horribleness. I realize now that choosing not to breed is the opposite of selfish, especially because I am crystal clear on the many selfless reasons I have chosen not to breed. And further, life has been so much harder in so many ways that breeders cannot contemplate, and will make old age extraordinarily difficult. Data do show that single, childless, elderly women tend to be among the poorest and most in danger in any society. Men in the same predicament are almost always taken care of by some woman/women and are economically better off. Women either tend not to expect help (especially if they are brainwashed into believing they are selfish bitches) nor do they receive offers of help from men or women (especially if society believes they are selfish bitches). Men are always taken care of regardless of their choices in life or how much abuse they dish out and regardless of whether they ask for help or not.
Non-breeding women don’t benefit in the work world like breeding and non-breeding men do. They are still women, and are treated as such, but without the social, legal and economic rewards of motherhood and often marital status. They don’t get promotions or higher pay, even if they have more education or experience. They don’t get equivalent, paid time off, say, to take a class that breeding women get for maternity leave. I would love equivalent time off to benefit myself (not a vacation, but an academic sabbatical, say) in the way that breeding women do and have my job waiting for me when I get back. Data show that employers (especially female employers) don’t trust non-breeding women and don’t want to hire them as they are ‘unnatural’ in some way. I can’t count how many times I’ve shown up for a new, professional job only to be asked if I have children right from the start. No one asks me about my actual achievements, how hard I busted my ass for my stellar academic achievements, or my actual contributions to society. I’ve never received a pile of gifts or been thrown a party for any of my three university degrees or other real achievements or contributions to society. No, a woman’s vaginal ‘achievements’, even if they are ‘achieved’ when passed out drunk or done standing up in a bathroom stall, are the only important thing of note in the workplace and warrant gifts and congratulations from the workplace, family and society. My teenaged pregnant sister knocked up by a drug dealer managed to score years of government welfare as well as three high-yield baby showers. I never received a single gift for busting my ass during 10 years of university. My sister now owns a house in an expensive city, has four kids and a husband, and a sweet high-paying union job with a pension, and I make $12,000 per year, with no retirement or pension in sight… I will literally be working until I die, and that is not an exaggeration.
After answering the vagina question that I don’t have children, I am put into that “piece of shit” category. Non-breeding women are often given the harder and crappier jobs, and in some professions, the more dangerous jobs, as well as longer hours for the same pay as their lives are seen as valueless – no one is depending on them, therefore their lives are worth nothing. They are often expected to cover for breeding female workers when the latter take off to deal with child problems. The former don’t receive extra pay for doing extra work, and the latter don’t lose pay for skipping out for personal business.
To conclude, the very word ‘childless’ is itself discriminatory and isolating to women, as if not having a child means you are less, missing or lacking something. Child-free is a newly adopted term that women in this situation have reacted with. I’m not sure what the correct way of seeing it is. I’m not sure I care all that much. I just wish I were treated with as much respect as breeding women, and that these insecure and venomous people would realize that they live on the top of the shit heap where women are forced to live, but seem to accept.
Femininity and Attractiveness
When women eschew beauty rituals, they are punished. They are punished more by women than men. Honestly, despite what tabloids say, all women can score a man if they are not picky. Men will literally fuck anything. See this post if you don’t believe me. And weird fetishes are almost exclusively the domain of men. If you have something gross or weird or unappealing or embarrassing about you, there is a man or group of men out there who will get off on your issue and will fuck you silly. You do not have to be beautiful to get laid. There is no such status as ‘incel’ for women. Men talk loudly about perfect 10’s in order to keep women feeling insecure and distracted and diverting limited resources into stupid shit, but the reality is that as long as they are not expected to treat you as human or equal (and really, most women are willing to accept being treated as sub-human – that is how we are brainwashed), it really doesn’t matter what you look like.
So, if you are not complying with the perfect 10 femininity bullshit that men don’t actually care about, most of the punishment you will get will come from women who do comply. Even among feminists online, there are constant, insane and nasty wars between women who comply with femininity and who are ironically super insecure about their real appearance, and actual feminists who can’t believe so many women are still so brainwashed. The number of women who say they are feminists and that complying with brutal and degrading femininity rituals and submissive behaviour is a matter of ‘survival’ or (for fuck sake) an actual feminist act is saddening and maddening. These women, even feminists, will attack other women relentlessly for even questioning woman-hating behaviour. Honestly, men must laugh. Women spend so much energy punishing each other for things that in reality don’t matter that much to men. Despite what men might say, they’ll still make use your vagina even if you don’t shave your pudendum or your legs.
On a more serious note, women have made such an industry out of perpetuating femininity rituals, that little changes in places that matter, such as workplaces. If women could let go of this idiocy, women might actually move forward professionally with so much more mental energy to devote to their betterment than to stupid stuff that doesn’t matter to anyone. As a woman who doesn’t feminize, almost all of my punishment and abuse has come from women. I wrote a post on this type of situation here, where all of my female students criticized my appearance when asked for personal suggestions (note: I didn’t ask specifically for suggestions on my appearance). The male students, interestingly didn’t comment at all on my appearance, not that males are innocent. They have other things they do to degrade me and other women. Women just tend to be responsible for most of the petty punishments and criticisms and trying to force women to participate in their own slavery to men.
Lesbianism
It’s hard to determine the order of worst lady-offences. The worst one is easy, as I mentioned. Not having children is the absolute worst crime a woman can commit. Lesbianism is Number 2 as long as it is paired with non-conformity to femininity. A lot of lesbians are still huge woman haters and adopt whore-face (perform femininity). Some try to call it ‘survival’, which is lame bullshit or a ‘feminist act’, which is dumb bullshit. Seriously? Wearing lipstick and heels is not a feminist act. It is slave behaviour that gets you head pats, and if you are a lesbian, performing femininity is an act of cowardice that serves only to let you ‘pass’. I’ve read feminine lesbians who criticize bisexuals for the same issues that apply to them. Bisexuality – a label I clung to for years before realizing a) I am not attracted to men, and b) it was ridiculous in an age where sexuality is political, despite the fact that it shouldn’t be an issue at all – lets women ‘pass’ in a society that rewards heterosexuality, and gets lesbians raped, beaten or killed. You can be a lezzer when you need lesbians to approve of you and then switch over when you’re in danger. Whether you agree or not (who cares…?), it’s the equivalent of a political flip-flop. Lesbians who feminize are essentially doing the same thing. Femininity performance is a political decision in a world that rewards cock-pleasing, and that shouldn’t be an issue at all. The only reason sexuality and femininity are even issues, and political ones at that, are because men exist and women’s status (which is always on the slave continuum) is tied to the forced belief that their very lives are dependent on how and whether they conform on these issues.
Some lesbians can’t hide, even if they put a dress on (think k.d. lang, for example). I absolutely don’t like the term ‘butch’ as it often goes with a version of woman-hate that requires the same feminine/masculine dichotomy that men demand, but I’ll use it here as people know what it refers to. Butch lesbians and lesbians who can’t hide their gayness under a layer of whore paint and silk are punished. They are punished by men, but they are also punished relentlessly by women who cowardly conform and who serve men. They are excluded from how women describe the range of womanhood expression. They are held in suspicion and women will assume something is wrong with them because they aren’t sporting pumps and push-up bras and making out with dudes. They are excluded from television and film, except when serving as a joke or predator (2-dimensional roles served up by men and woman-hating women who desperately want a job in a male-dominated field). Women fear and hate their own vaginas, in general, so to be faced with a woman who so clearly doesn’t have the same fears and hates must be terrifying. But overt lesbians also remind us that heterosexuality is not natural for women; they hold the mirror up, and we react with fear of what we are missing (peace, safety, love) when we erroneously choose men and a life of consensual rape and servitude. We react to being terrified by lashing out, as long as the target is deemed safe enough to attack. Women seldom attack the true threat (men) because men are more likely retaliate (beat, kill, rape) than women are. Lesbians are easy to attack and punish. (More on this in this post and this post.)
Unmarried Status
Yet again this week, I found myself forced to defend myself to an incredulous young Chinese woman that I am not married. I don’t even bother mentioning that I’m not attracted to men at all, as brain matter would be sprayed around the room and I’d be forced to clean that up. It is China, where gay people don’t officially exist, and I don’t want to lose my high paying job… (ha ha) or be arrested by the police, which is a possibility. Several times a year, I am forced to answer why I am not married nor have I ever been married. I would sincerely love to retaliate with “Why are you content to be a whore?” or “Why do you love to suck cock?” or “Have you negotiated a reasonable price for the lifetime sale of your cunt?”, but in public, I am a ‘nice’ person and I need to keep a few pleasant and helpful relationships, even if they are all based on me wearing a mask. Don’t we all wear masks in some settings…? I’d rather force myself to wear my ‘nice’ mask than wear whore-face, especially in a tropical climate! I save my straight talk for my blog, and that is enough. I don’t claim to be an activist. I don’t have the support for that, nor do I have a martyr complex or a desire to be physically hurt more than I have been in my life.
But seriously, I wish cowardly, fake-straight-bitches would stop asking me why I haven’t sold myself to a man. I am sick of women who are too afraid to be real with themselves, to ask themselves serious questions, and to fight against brainwashing. China is, of course, brainwashing central. All traditional, pseudo-religious countries are, but even in more progressive countries, very, very few people are willing to answer questions honestly. Even in the more aggressive West, very few people are willing to honestly answer the question: why do we say women need to be protected (one of the number one justifications for marriage)? Almost no one will say: MEN ARE THE PROBLEM, THE DANGER, THE CAUSE OF ALL WOMEN’S FEARS. Even in the West, marriage is seeing a resurgence, and strangely, the average age of marriage is lowering. Not sure what is going on there, but it is creepy and weird. It feels desperate. We are living in an age where people are more heavily masked than ever before, I feel, because of social media, the desire to be famous, and stay young forever. Completely constructed. Little feels real among the young these days. Will we ever face reality? If not, straight talk like the problem with marriage cannot happen, and those who fail to conform will pay the price.
Education and Intelligence
A former professor remarked to me a few years ago that as highly educated women, we were considerably more alone than the average woman. Now she has boy children and she is fake-straight (there is no such thing as a naturally straight woman, imo), and she conforms to femininity, so she really has no idea how far ‘alone’ can become for a woman. Try being non-straight, non-feminine, and a non-breeder!!! Anyhow, not only are highly educated women hard to find in work environments (unless you work in a professional, female-dominated field), but the few that are there seldom bond with one another. Frequently, they engage in nasty behaviour with one another in order to climb what ends up being a much shorter ladder with smaller pinnacles available than that provided to men of all races in the same environment. In the rare event that a woman holds power in a work environment, she is often ‘in good’ with male colleagues and is less likely to help or even be fair to female underlings. Unlike with men throughout time, including today, there is no such thing as a girls’ club where women help each other achieve regardless of merit. Further, women are more likely to hate and criticize female bosses and other powerful, intelligent, accomplished and educated women than they are male counterparts. Instead of supporting one another, they tend to ‘cunt out’ on each other (see my post on my redefinition of lady-slurs – I’d prefer the words not to exist, but I’d like to achieve what black men have achieved with the N-word).
I remember this nasty, rich, black bitch in grad school in the US. I’m Canadian, so in my early 20’s, I had little practical experience with American racial dynamics. I was nice to everyone, and found the frequent nasty treatment by educated, non-white women pretty fucked up. Anyhow, I’d say hi to everyone in the hallways, just as a typical, friendly Canadian usually does. And this rich bitch would look down her nose at me and say nothing. Then one day, she showed up in my office and demanded I help her out with her statistics – she was a clinical psychology student (perfect for the profession, eh?) and she hadn’t learned not to piss off the statistics majors as we were the go-to experts for all the other majors when they couldn’t figure out how to deal with their research data. I looked at her and told her I was too busy. I do wish I could go back and explain what she had done wrong, thus teaching her a crucial lesson – don’t fuck over other women, regardless of race; we fucking NEED each other – but I was too young in my feminism at the time to help women learn fundamental truths. I was still learning myself! I have made up for it since, don’t worry. Sadly, this chick moved on to the black guy in my lab and turned on the pussy charm. She faked sexual interest in him and OF COURSE he helped her. This is how women of the patriarchy work. She ditched him after he did her work for her. And he was likely bummed out that she didn’t put out as payment for his help. She got what she wanted and she never spoke to me again. Now that is a cunt move that I’m proud to say I have NEVER pulled. Even when I was still claiming bisexuality. I have never screwed over another woman whether of my own race/ethnicity or otherwise, and I have never sided with a dude to screw over a woman. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve created ‘Girls’ Clubs’ wherever I’ve studied or worked. I’ve organized women’s events. I write letters of reference for female students if they need them and pass on contacts and connections for jobs. I make every effort to foster confidence in young women. But I have also learned to spot bitches and cunts (if you didn’t go back to my link, that means a women who DELIBERATELY hurts other women – it has nothing to do with hurting men, unlike how men have defined the word), and I avoid them like the plague of patriarchal brainwashing that they are.
I think women hurt each other at all levels of education, work and intelligence, but the higher up you go, the more men you are forced to compete with. Most women see an advantage in cozying up to men to get ahead, and thus developing a sweet little case of Stockholm Syndrome, and the few females that are around tend not to have enough direct and individual power to further another woman’s career. The men who have the power often put women into direct social and professional competition with one another. And so women begin to see other women as either useless or a threat, and as a result, they fail to bond significantly, even though it would actually be to their benefit in several ways if they did so.
Conclusion
It is no wonder that women have such volatile relationships with each other. Isolation is a significant threat that all women live with. Step out of line, fail to follow patriarchy’s demands, and they suddenly find themselves ganged up on by the majority of women who are too weak, brainwashed and cowardly to fight or even question the system. [I’ve since written a post on friendship that will also help explain why women end up isolated from each other.]
I wouldn’t say that ignorance is bliss, but it certainly makes navigating a violent and threatening system much easier. Just put your faith in the overlords that rape you with your consent in return for protection from the overlords who might rape you without your consent. And punish your fellow slaves who might dare to rebel through various means of isolation. You must. You see, they can only threaten you if they are allowed to bond and then grow too great in number to keep your comfortable life of servitude peacefully unchallenged…
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I Can’t Report it in a Place That Matters
I’m in the middle of spending money I don’t have trying to change my shitty life. I’ve never really had the resources to change my life for the better, but I have depression and cPTSD from living in constant exposure to racism and sexism and the violence and threat that accompanies that. I see myself sinking, so I’m getting desperate, and I know, as a single, childless woman, things get much, much worse for me with each passing year. Further, I belong to a silenced segment of the population who has no voice when it comes to violence. Female, middle-aged, non-man-fucking, white, childless, and unfeminizing. In other words. I’m not human, and most of the world, sadly including liberal, white faux-feminists, wants me dead or disappeared or just plain old silenced. My reality is not a story the world wants to hear. Because it destroys the narrative of the ‘evil white male’ as the sole problem on earth and the ‘rich white bitch’ as the most powerful creature imaginable. The former isn’t true any longer, and the latter never existed. But they are convenient caricatures.
We’ve entered a new, very fucked up age where oppressed women are being told they are privileged and should therefore shut up and that the very people who are oppressing them and threatening them most are somehow the most in need and should therefore be supported above anyone else. It’s ass-backwards in a way we’ve not quite seen before. Yes, the world is actually quite different than what we read in the papers. And you’d know this if you listened to real people’s experiences in an unbiased, unselective way or lived as an unprotected (unpartnered, childless, white) woman yourself.
I have also noticed something else, and it is happening in tandem with or possibly even as a result of this brave-new-world turn of events. Inter-racial, sex-based crime is on the rise. And we are pretending it doesn’t exist. You see, it’s not white guys doing it, so of course, no one wants to focus on it.
I experience a lot of violence and general racist sexism in China. Not just from the Chinese, but from those I encounter from other places too. I can only remember one verbal assault by a white male while living in Taiwan 14 years years ago. That’s it. White guys are douchebags, and they talk too much (like all men), but they are not the biggest problems on the violent crime front. In multiple countries over the years, I can’t begin to count the assaults and threats committed by non-whites against me. It’s not just men who hurt me, but they are the more threatening group, obviously.
As recent as two weeks ago, I was assaulted by three black male immigrants on a subway in Paris, very early one morning. They weren’t ‘young ruffians’, just in case you automatically started to make excuses for them, but closer to my age. Presumably, they had wives and families. And they saw me, and physically assaulted me, and tried to prevent me from escaping. I had to yell and get physical to defend myself. The train wasn’t full, but all other passengers were black or Arab, so of course, no one helped me. (I’ve experienced this phenomenon in L.A. as well. Let the white bitch die, kind of thing.) So I couldn’t report it either for obvious reasons. White. Middle-aged. Female. Poor. Dressed very shabbily. Resourceless. Foreigner. And the perps – protected black male immigrants. They won. They always do, I’ve discovered this universal truth through all my years of victimization by non-white men. And this is the new running theme, especially in Europe, but increasingly elsewhere. White men used to be the problem. They aren’t any longer. Not in the way that non-white men are now. The latter have a get out of jail free card. They are ‘oppressed’. And the targets are increasingly, lone white women. We all know that women always have to pay for what men have done or are perceived to have done. Am I targeted because I am white and female? Black women have always told white women that they aren’t ‘women’ but ‘black women’. White women have always protested because if they said ‘we are white women’, it would be racist or elitist, but finally, after considering black women’s words very seriously, I think they are 100% right. White women need to start seeing themselves in the same way, especially in light of our reality. We are being targeted for our race AND sex, they can’t be separated, and mark my words, the violence is going to escalate, especially for those of us who are not of the protected class (I.e., women who are usually in the company of another person, such as male owner, lesbian partner, children, or who have enough money to remove themselves from the racist violent hordes). Solitary women are in danger. And we can’t always choose to be unsolitary. Some of us just end up that way, sometimes simply because we’ve been the sole minority in a racist, sexist culture and community and work environment for years on end.
Although not superstitious, I’ve been terrified that this year that I’ll be raped. I was violently raped by a Muslim Arab when I was 35, and gang-raped when I was 25. I’m 45 now. It’s a decade rapeversary that I had started dreading an entire year before I turned 45. So far this year, I’ve been assaulted sexually and physically several times by Chinese, Arabs and blacks, but I’ve managed to escape rape. Not going out much has likely helped. But the time spent in Europe, especially in France and Germany, has been terrifying. And violent. The sheer number of traditional, uneducated, violent, non-white males let into those countries without a criminal record check has been a recipe for trouble. (Although, really, what they do would never show up were record check ever done…) The women aren’t really a problem except for the religious bullshit, but the MEN are. In whose mind is letting in masses of pro-rape, anti-Western-female, uneducated, religious fanatics a good idea? It doesn’t hurt local men, but it is a massive threat to women. Telling women they have to accept and respect yet another anti-woman culture, and to shut the hell up if something bad happens to them since they probably deserve whatever comes is just no good. I find it is protected, liberal white women who scream the loudest about foreign rapists’ and anti-woman-terrorists’ rights. It is shameful to shame the true victims, the unprotected women who aren’t fucking men in exchange for improved lifestyle and resources and relative safety.
I don’t participate in the whole ‘MeToo’ thing mostly because I don’t think any heterosexual endeavour can ever make a difference to women as a class because mixed messages don’t work, but I wonder if any women have been brave enough to speak out against non-white assault of white women. It isn’t just me going through this. That I know from the hushed conversations with confused, self-hating, but angry, white females I’ve talked to.
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A Tribute: To All the Boys I’ve Feared Before
I’ve travelled and lived around the world for more than 20 years, and pre-hetero-and liberal deprogramming, I dated and friended extensively among the non-white international male (and female) community. I can’t stress enough how men of all races and all stations of life terrorize, benefit from, and have immense power over women of all races and stations of life. Women, especially white women, who bleet on about how white men are the worst either live in very, very small worlds with limited exposure to the range of men out there, or they are in some serious denial of reality reinforced by current liberal ideology. Wake up, sisters. You’re speaking untruths. And worse, you’re hurting women with your propaganda.
Anyhow, it’s the end of the year and rather than make resolutions, I want to send out my gratitude to all the men and boys who’ve helped to shape my reality and to open my eyes to what all males are. I present a list of my firsts, the men and boys who first introduced me to an experience or concept and who chipped away at my innocence, confidence and naivité. Some of it I learned from you as a child, some as a teenager, and some throughout my adulthood. Thank you, boys. Collectively, you’ve rocked my world. Your behaviour makes feminism necessary, I hope you realize. And I know with certainty (unlike my liberal sisters) that not a one of you is better or worse than any other. You all capitalize off the fear and compliance you inspire in women and girls.
So here goes:
White French men introduced me to the idea that female prostitutes do what they do because they love to fuck, therefore, prostitution is okay. They also introduced me to the idea that if they pay for your drink or meal, you are not allowed to speak in public.
Mexican men introduced me to white female slavery as a modern reality, to female child abduction and to mouth rape.
East Indian men introduced me to relationship rape dressed up as ‘aggressive and exciting sex’, and to porn as sex education.
Native Canadian/American men introduced me to the idea of terrorism of girls and women in the workplace and the idea that all women, regardless of colour, will be punished if they react negatively to the terrorism. They also introduced me to the reality that men of colour have always done better and will always do better than all women in the workplace, and they are almost always rewarded for abusing female coworkers.
Jewish men introduced me to the idea that if men or boys can’t fuck you, they’ll cheat on you with your best friend. This kickstarted my thinking on the reality of coercive and manipulative rape as the most common form of rape and the single most common reason women (are forced to) consent to sex in relationships.
Cambodian men introduced me to the idea of paying a man to use me as a prostitute.
Muslim men (well before the recent events in Europe) introduced me to publicly conducted, race- and sex-motivated, group-coordinated attempted-murder of white women. They showed me that the Western world has no interest in preventing Muslim men from hurting, raping and murdering white women. They also introduced me to the Muslim male hate- and rape-fueling love of white woman porn; to violent relationship rape; to the treatment of my body as a non-consensual cum dumpster, and to the treatment of my body during my period as a filthy, untouchable, but still blow-job-giveable piece of garbage.
Taiwanese men introduced me to daytime, streetside sexual assault, and to daytime, unwanted racist propositioning for dick-servicing.
Chinese men and boys introduced me to racist sexual harassment and sexual assault of white female lecturers in the secondary and post-secondary classroom.
White British men introduced me to gang rape; to punishing rape victims; to violent rape-porn as a fun gift for one’s male mates; and to the idea that women should relinquish their names and the names of their children upon marriage.
Black men introduced me to racist and unpunishable stalking of white women for the purpose of rape, and to the idea of women only being allowed to have ‘sexual power’ – the power to inspire boners. They taught me that only men get access to economic and legal power. They also introduced me to the concept of military cock-servicing requirements when stationed abroad.
Homeless men introduced me to the idea that public libraries are extremely dangerous places for women and girls – workers and patrons.
Christian men introduced me to the idea that making Sundays into ‘holy days’ (non-shopping days) provides men with the perfect daytime opportunity to lay in wait for teenaged girls walking through deserted commercial areas trying to get to friends’ homes or libraries to study.
But it all started with my father introducing me to rape as the ultimate entertainment for male adults and male children.
What would life have been like if men and boys didn’t do what they do best – terrorize, enslave, and attempt to destroy women and girls? Unimaginable…
Happy New Year! I hope your holiday is rape- and fear-free.
[This is part of the Conversations with Men series and the Birth of a Feminist series.]
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Feminism and Eugenics
I’ve read a growing number of disturbing feminist articles, written by whites and non-whites, straights and lesbians, and most calling themselves ‘radical feminists’ (which they are not) calling for the elimination of white women. One woman wanted to replace the term ‘women’ with ‘women of colour’, because she argued that white women were a minority. Um, yeah, that kind of logic doesn’t fly when you propose that even smaller world minorities (Jews, aboriginal Canadians or Americans) be excluded from the term ‘human’. Too bad. Other than her racist, sexist, linguistic-eugenics idea, that woman’s site was pretty good. But damn, fucking with the meaning of the word ‘woman’ reminded me of the shit that trannie-dudes are trying (and are successfully), managing to pull off.
Another feminist ordered white women to spread their legs only for men of colour in order to get rid of the white race. Note that there was no such cunt-regulation demanded of women of colour: say for Asian women to get their rape on with Arab men, or black women with South-Pacific island men. Nope. It was a racist, sexist, pro-natal, pro-eugenics post written by a self-hating, white woman. It made me sister-sad that she had internalized the growing white-woman-hatred that isn’t just liberal-speak anymore. But I used to buy into self-immolation. Having another reason to hate yourself is crazy tempting as a female person.
Now, last time I checked, proposing to eliminate a single race of people was called eugenics. I’m not entirely sure what white women have done to terrorize the world other than to be the slaves of white men, who commit actual crimes. Is that a crime? Is being a slave an act of racial terrorism? And is it any different to any other group of women being slaves of the men of their group. Should Muslim women be killed for Muslim male terrorism and the chopping off of little girls’ clits, for example? Should Japanese mob-boss wives be held accountable for the horrific acts of the Yakuza? Unprogrammed, free women of any race could never come up with and take pleasure in the horrors men have wrought on the world. Rest assured, each group of women experiences their special brand of racism and sexism in different parts of the world, in addition to sexism within their own racial group. And each race of women has their own advantages that others don’t have. This can depend on culture and geography and who holds what power in which place. Eliminating women doesn’t solve anything. (Imagine a world without women here.)
So I disagree with the selective elimination of one race of people. Even white people. As much as I dislike white men, they are no better or worse than any other group of men. But I do like the idea of eliminating all races. No, not a mass killing of the entire world. But the elimination of race altogether.
I don’t like any racial purity ideation at all, and ALL RACES believe in racial purity. In fact, the more mono-racial the country or culture, the more they believe in their own racial superiority, purity, and preservation of that purity. I think people are really losing the plot when they talk about racism and supremacy. Come live where I have lived for years. Every fucking time I have to interact with college- and even PhD-educated, never mind the uneducated, people here in China, they make these scary race-supremacist comments that make my blood run cold. They sound like whites from 100 years ago, or my middle-school-only-educated grandmother, or one of those secluded, website-running, gun-hoarding, but generally public-avoiding American nut jobs living in the wilderness. In fact, as much as I can’t stand those survivalists who support preservation of the white race, they pretty much keep to themselves and do far less damage than say, race- and sex-supremacist Muslim terrorists who deliberately go abroad, gain trust, education and resources of the borrowed culture, and then blow up things… and people. And here in China, ‘racism’ in Chinese is a word that inspires pride, not shame, and is one of the national tenets instilled in modern Chinese communist thinking by the internationally revered Sun Yat-Sen.
No, I say get rid of all pure races. After biological sex, and then sexual orientation, race is a significant target of violence and discrimination for all women and some men. Getting rid of white people, even just the men, absolutely would not solve the problem because all racial purists (which is pretty much everyone in the world) will just continue their wars and hatred towards the ‘others’. Because all of that race-hatred that most feminists like to talk about INSTEAD of actual misogyny was started and perpetuated by men, the goal of which always has been and still is to protect and covet the cunts of the women owned by that racial group, and more recently serves to divide and conquer women and prevent their coming together over misogyny. Racism would never have been a thing if there were no men in existence. I firmly believe that. Racism is borne of woman-hatred, and that is a fact.
As for culture, which in monoracial cultures cannot truly be separated from race, and in religious cultures cannot be separated from religion, I’d like to see culture be based on climate or geography rather than race, ethnicity, misogyny, or magical thinking. Racial culture tends to be very exclusionary and becomes stronger due to racial tensions. Defensive racial pride always springs up following direct conflict – I see this all the time in China when the Chinese act as aggressors and then play victim to surrounding countries (Japan, the Philippines, Taiwan, etc.). And in the West, you get liberal wailing about stuff like ‘cultural appropriation’, which is hard to believe is a thing because there are so many bigger and REAL fucking issues like RAPE and MURDER and HUMAN TRAFFICKING, for example, and is done, incidentally, by all cultures in the world. China does it all the time, and it is annoying – especially when their sole focus of cultural appropriation is on capitalizing monetarily off of, rather than understanding and appreciating of , other cultures’ traditions and festivals. No, I see culture based on something else entirely. It’s hard for me to imagine people getting nasty, proprietary, warlike, and exclusionary over cultural issues and traditions centred on weather, climate, and geography, for example. I like that kind of celebration of life much better. It not only isn’t based on unchangeable physical qualities like biological sex or race, but on Nature herself. What a beautiful thing to celebrate rather than selfish human pursuits. I’ve always been wary of human self-worship.
I’ll end on an even more unpopular note by saying that the only eugenics I could ever get behind is the elimination of male people, and I say it from a defensive position based on actual evidence rather than the kind of baseless and aggressive, sadistic hatred men have for women. In removing – not maliciously torturing, just removing – men, I seek to protect women. Men of all races are the international terrorists of women of all races, holding us hostage through rape and torture, and the threat of rape, and forced heterosexuality. They cause every single problem and fear we experience as women. They are the number one predator on the planet, more dangerous and fear-inspiring than contagious viruses and bacteria, natural disasters, and wild animals combined. But you have to be able see and accept reality and data and facts, and then to overcome your fear of punishment, in order to name the real problems. Eliminate whites, and you don’t solve a damned thing other than short-lived, smug, racist satisfaction. But other male racial groups will easily and quickly and violently step in and take over the domination-submission, racial-sex-slavery heterosexuality paradigm that men thrive on and demand. But take out men, and dare to dream.
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It Ain’t a Party Until Something Gets Broke
Language Corners. Phenomena popular in, but likely not limited to, China, most often take the form of loose to semi-structured informal events where people gather to practise speaking a particular foreign language. I have years of experience participating in ‘English Corners’. For many years, I was forced to organize and participate in Corners at the places where I worked. They were horrible. Students would come to be entertained rather than learn and participate fully, and to ask me the same boring questions about whether I could use chopsticks and if I loved China. But I’ve managed to live in a few large places where locals organize Corners for anyone who wants to participate and that aren’t dependent on the attendance of native speakers. Nanjing, former capital of China, has a long-running (well over 25-30 years now) and excellent English Corner that meets in a local park at night once a week and is attended by people of all ages and abilities and walks of life. It is quite fabulous.
The city where I currently work has a number of language Corners. Some are held at universities and some at public parks. I’ve attended several, and as might be expected, some are better than others. I once attended one that seemed to attract aggressive and annoying men seeking to perv on the young Chinese girls who attended and to engage in antagonistic and exhausting ‘conversation’ with yours truly. Mostly though, if I attend an English Corner at all, I attend the private one held by the enthusiastic students at my own campus. They’re good kids, and I’m the first person to preserve and foster any natural desire to learn and better oneself. You can’t buy curiosity, and it is hard to find in this world in this day and age.
Recently, I’ve been motivating myself for a major life change. I’m really thinking about moving to France as early as next year. It is a work in progress. I speak passable French and I can think in the language, but I have to admit, I am far from bilingual and years of disuse has done a number on my grammar and vocabulary. Years in China hasn’t helped. But I recently discovered a local multi-language Corner. The bulk of the participants attend to practise speaking English, but there are small groups of people there wishing to speak Korean, Japanese, Spanish, and as luck would have it, French. Needless to say, I am ecstatic. I made a pact with a friend of mine to attend every week with her- she wants to work on having more intellectual discussions in her already excellent English. And I need to reawaken and tone my French muscles.
The other night had a decent turn-out. Some weeks, there may only be one other person wanting to speak French, but there were three native speakers from Africa this time in addition to a few regular Chinese attendees I’ve gotten to know. Unfortunately, they were dudes, and to my great surprise and dismay, they were part of a large international group of special forces soldiers in China for a year-long training program. Creepy, scary, and weird. China is training the world’s elite, state-sanctioned rapists and murderers now!!! Anyhow, I stuck with the group until the Africans started asking the locals why there is no young Chinese pussy available to them. Apparently, everyone has a boyfriend!!! These black dudes may be here for military training, but they are definitely also here to fuck local bitches and possibly to find one to marry. Barfo. I am so not interested in heterosexual female slavery or men of any colour (sorry, liberal feminists, it isn’t just white men) whining about not finding a line-up of women on their backs, legs spread waiting for them.
I left the group to look for my friend among the ESL’ers.
And I found her in a weird situation. It was a small group, and a Chinese guy was lambasting her in an aggressive stance jabbing the air with his finger in an accusatory fashion. You know this type and this move. Very male, very threatening. So he notices me approaching, turns on me, and with no preamble, salutation, or welcome, immediately gives me a task. “YOU are going to settle this for us.” Now, I don’t like being told what to do, especially by men, but as my friend was involved, I asked what was going on instead of just turning around. From what I could gather, they had been discussing ‘single life’, which I think was one of the topics of the evening. I am not sure what exactly my friend had said, but dickface had gone on the offensive. I think she must have challenged his heterosexual assumption that women’s bodies were the property of men and that to be single was a female crime against humanity. He was speaking loudly and started describing her as a ‘gentleman-lady’, which was supposed to be an insult, in addition to insulting her intelligence and existence.
I stopped him and concluded that she had won the argument hands down. That made him mad. He looked for ways to put his natural violence and anger upon me. He accused me of being American (classic move for many anti-Americans as if it is some sort of point-scoring argument), to which I suggested that he wasn’t very smart if he was making stupid assumptions that ended up not being true. I’m not American. Then he started suggesting that obviously we were lesbians and should kiss. He kept saying that over and over, which I think was at the root of his original anger at my friend. It was positively immature and scary behaviour. It was also clear that my friend, whom I later found out had been further attacked by the other males in the group for other incomprehensible reasons, was forced into a position where she was trying to defend herself. I’ve been there. When you’re 21, and for most women throughout their entire life, you are constantly forced by males and some male-focused females to defend your human status. A few of us manage to learn that self-defense is futile. You can’t win nonsensical arguments. And men love the fight. They gain energy. You lose yours to them. You are derailed, and often, your small confidence is further shaken. You shrink and eventually give up trying to be human. And there is always the fear that there will be violence. Not just verbal violence.
So I decided to start the fucking party. I’m not 21 anymore, and I don’t believe men can or even want to end their violence. Every second you give them is a waste unless you are taking them down with certainty. I have various strategies for dealing with assholes. You have to be careful, though. You have to know who you’re up against and how dangerous they are. Sometimes you can you embarrass them. Sometimes you can intimidate them. Sometimes, you just have to walk away and find a safe place. But regardless of douchebag type, I always recommend never entering a pointless argument where you’re put on the defense. It’s like arguing with a religious person – they don’t come from a place of truth or fact, and have massive power behind them that will put society on their side if things get weird for you. So this guy? Stupid, a coward targeting a very young woman, and possibly violent if alone with him. But in a group setting, he needed to be controlled and dismissed. So I took the upper hand. I pointed out that he was rude and aggressive and not very smart, and that I wasn’t going to join a group discussion with a shameful person like him in it, and I moved to take my friend with me. He put himself on the defense, trying to negate my statements about him, which was exactly what I wanted, and he soon realized he couldn’t win against me since I wouldn’t engage. He walked away with a buddy of his. Lack of easy prey made English Corner much less appealing, apparently.
Now what made me really angry was that no one would speak up against him. Quietly looking on as he destroyed a young woman was apparently just dandy. This is very Chinese. People do not defend or help one another here unless they are family. Everyone else is persona non grata. I’ve seen it in countless situations, myself. But it happens everywhere, every day. A Chinese will literally let someone they don’t know die on the street in front of them instead of help them. And I’m not making it up. Every month or so, some embarrassing cell phone video or news story shows up online shaming all Chinese because someone let a child hit by a car die on the sidewalk without help, or some homeless old person dies of neglect despite pleas for help, or a foreigner ends up saving some local person drowning in a lake as a heap of Chinese look on apathetically. So, I was angry, but not surprised that an entire group of adult people said nothing while this man got progressively more aggressive and abusive with a young woman.
The guy walked away, and the group re-formed. And suddenly, everyone was telling me that they had seen him at another English Corner behaving in the same way. Ha! And the best part – everyone was insisting that he was not from China!!! Excuse much? Of course he was from China. I’ve met a shit ton of Chinese dudes like this one. Domineering, argumentative, aggressive, and mansplainy. And all I could think was ‘why hasn’t anyone stopped him?’ as this particular Corner is generally known for having some sort of decorum and civility thanks to the volunteer organizers supposed vigilance. But this happens to a certain extent in all cultures. We make excuses for men. We allow them to dictate proceedings. We allow their violence, their aggression, their abuse. They can’t help it, you see. Especially if their targets are women. Women are expected to shut up and put up. And to keep the love and support flowing while pretending that nothing is wrong.
I’m perfectly happy to break an ego or abusive cycle if the life of the party is a homophobic, racist misogynist.
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Can Anti-Woman Slurs Be Eliminated?
I seek to address problems that make people uncomfortable, and I talk about issues that even most feminists won’t address. I plan to do the same here. I’ve been wanting to write this one for a long time. It is an exploration. Stuff to think about. Impossibilities, likely.
The Question:
Is it possible for women to achieve what racial and religious groups have – to make discrimination a no-no; to achieve federal human rights protections; to have crimes against them designated as hate crimes; to eliminate group-targeted slurs from daily public, media and entertainment usage; and to legally make language used against group members into hate speech?
Men Succeed, Women Don’t
Unfortunately, the group we call ‘women’, despite being the largest and longest oppressed group on the planet is missing something crucial that every single other group has had and that has worked to their advantage. Men. All oppressed groups in history, except for women, have had male members. And note that men who think they are women – trannies – are not women, but oppressors of women and mentally ill men. They don’t count among us despite what they force us to call them, and they should never be included in the class known as women. They are a class of men, and they are oppressors, not the oppressed. We know they are men because of their XY chromosomes, of course, but we also have evidence that they are men because we see how quickly they have changed policy to destroy and further oppress women. No group of women ever has achieved or ever could achieve what trannie men have. In fact, no actual oppressed group that includes men has ever stayed oppressed for long. We know the ‘why’ (because men have power and women don’t), but it is not entirely clear ‘how’ (how do men exert power so effectively?) this can be. We can consider some of the following possible explanations for how men succeed in overcoming oppression while women don’t.
1) Men tend to resort to violence to get what they want. Women tend to cower and submit when they are threatened. Programming from birth ensures that boys’ aggression and violence is deemed natural and acceptable, especially when acting in self-defence, while girls’ aggression is punished and any self-defence is absolutely NOT allowed and often turned around to appear as unnatural, and even persecutory aggression.
2) Men are more respected, in general, regardless of group affiliation, and it is easier to get what they want because of the normalized and universal respect for cock, even oppressed cock. Having a cock automatically gives you a voice in public. Vagina is universally hated – you can’t respect what you hate, and consequently, most believe on some level that you can’t oppress what you hate because they deserve what they get, and so women’s progress is barely measurable. It further helps that male hate is often called and accepted as ‘love’, so they can argue that their oppression of us is actually a demonstration of love. Note that having a vagina automatically disallows you a voice in public unless you are a cock proxy – directly supporting a male dominance agenda, in other words.
3) Men are very good at getting on board with self- and group-serving agendas and can achieve a sort of strength-in-numbers kind of situation when they perceive themselves to be oppressed. Women, on the other hand, very seldom support one another, let alone push for policy that would benefit themselves as women. Feminists have never achieved a critical mass, as a result. It is hard to win freedom from men when some of the most aggressively opposed are women themselves. It has nothing to do with an inability of women to organize en masse. No, women are actually better able to plan and get organized than men are. Rather, women are programmed from birth to support males and hold females under suspicion. Women will fight to the death to keep men doing the horrible things they do with impunity. But ask a woman to support a feminist? Get ready to have your head cut off and paraded on a pike. Even some feminists eat their own.
4) Men tend to expect others to sacrifice for them, are very protective of their own perceived rights and freedoms, and have a very strange conception of compromise. Women tend to compromise easily. They also tend to sacrifice, but instead call it compromise just as they have been taught by their male-serving mothers and male culture, in general. In this way, rather than stand up for themselves, women are more open to propaganda, guilt-tripping, and oppression. Expecting rights and freedoms as women is seen as selfish and greedy and uncompromising.
5) Oppressed men, with very little effort, tend to collect numerous fawning women to support their cause, doing grunt work, sacrificing their bodies in violent situations (cannon fodder), acting as warning systems, spies and saboteurs, providing free food and cleaning services, bolstering and building male confidence and egos, and acting as free prostitutes to service the troops. Men, on the other hand, don’t support women’s fights. Superficial supporters always have their own agenda (getting laid, scoring political points, etc.). Most actually tend to suppress any female efforts to liberate through violence, threats, abandonment in relationships, denial of free speech through no-platforming and refusal to publish, and denying female activists a place in academia and other influential areas.
6) Giving men rights and freedoms doesn’t hurt other men or affect economies detrimentally. The world economy we have known throughout history has, on the other hand, been completely dependent on female slavery. Male freedom (which isn’t an ethical freedom, but debauchery and inhumanity) requires female slavery. Capitalism cannot exist without female slavery and neither can communism as men have envisioned it. To give women rights and true freedoms and an escape from male tyranny would require a complete rethinking and reconstruction of the world economy. This scares men of all colours, who for all of history, have called their male privilege their god- or nature-given rights.
Personally, I believe that as long as males rule within the system we call ‘patriarchy’, a group that doesn’t contain males cannot succeed in achieving human rights and freedoms or be taken seriously politically, legally, socially and economically. But while lack of male membership is a major factor in continued female oppression, there is one other significant contributor: any oppressed group that supports, colludes with, and literally sleeps with their oppressor will never be set free. And no group save women has ever done this. I mean, can you seriously imagine blacks joining a neo-Nazi group and calling it freedom and equality and contentment – the natural order of things?*** And there isn’t a single underprivileged group, save women, that would be denied the right to live apart from oppressors in their own community. These days, even women’s associations and events are attacked and forced to accept either infiltration or disbandment. But women are brainwashed from birth not only to ignore the dangers men pose to their well-being and contentment, but to embrace rape and slavery and humiliation and call them something else entirely. For those few who reject male domination, there is absolutely nowhere on the planet that is safe and free of men, male influence, male violence, male domination, and of course, the colluding, cock-sucking henchwomen who attack them for saying ‘no, thank you’.
***I did know a super-scary black dude in high school who joined the local skinheads, but that was only so he could beat the shit out of gays and lesbians as part of a cowardly group at every opportunity instead of as an individual – it wasn’t to support a white agenda.
In short, as long as the majority of women agree to unequal rape-based relationships with men and to breeding male children – and note it that isn’t true agreement since they are oppressed and programmed, and thus don’t come to the table on equal footing with men – ALL women will be oppressed by men. And it is this fact that keeps male power in place. If men can argue that women agree to their circumstances, then there is nothing wrong with it at all. To men, and to brainwashed women, agreement means free will/choice. And of course, no two things could be more falsely equated. Remember that brainwashing, programming, and social influence are powerful tools, especially when they are implemented at the most vulnerable stages in one’s life, such as in childhood or in desperate situations involving poverty or serious illness/injury. [Brainwashing, programming and social influence within the patriarchy will be dealt with in another post.] Those who manage to escape their programming, such as separatist, asexual or lesbian, non-breeding feminists, are very threatening to the system, and so the silencing of these opponents through several means is swift and brutal.
Lady Slurs Are on the Rise
If you listen to music, watch films or television, tune in to any kind of hard or soft news outlets, read magazines or other material – basically live in the world, in other words – you *may* have noticed that brutal language attacking women, including slurs (i.e., bitch, cunt, slut, whore, pair of tits, broad), denigrating comments (i.e., run like a girl, acting like a woman, bitches be shopping), and callous jokes (the various iterations of the 10-dollar whore joke), are on the rise. More than likely, like the majority of people, you’ve just become desensitized to it. It’s much like not noticing that the violent, sensationalized content of public materials has escalated. Interestingly, racism in the media is on everyone’s radar – racial slurs produce a very physical ‘cringe factor’ in most people – but the woman hate has not only escalated, but has become business as usual, accepted and parroted even by the targets of the hate. And the abuse comes from people of all races. In music, blacks are the worst perpetrators, but in television and film, everyone participates. Interestingly, but not unexpectedly, the targets of the violence and hate, especially in television and film, are more often than not, white women.
Blind as most are to escalating woman-hate, many people might respond to valid observation with something like:
- what’s the big deal?
- they’re just words – they don’t hurt anyone
- women are too sensitive
- women use them tooooooo!
- you’re exaggerating (crazy, bitter, stupid, or some standard dismissal of female truth-telling)
- you’re a man-hater, obviously
And my response is: if it really is no big deal, then why are slurs against all other groups termed ‘hate speech’ and have been removed from all public media and entertainment and can get you into serious trouble if you’re caught using them in public? Why is it legal to use a female slur in a business name, but not a racial slur? Why do some American television stations bleep out the F-word, but not the word ‘bitch’? What might it mean that women have internalized woman-hate and use the hate-speech themselves against themselves and other women? And why is pointing out real examples of woman-hate itself an example of women hating men??? Logic fails, all.
See, slurs are a big deal. Words have meaning and power, and a tool of control. Those who control language, control everything. And throughout time – and today is no different than any other time period – men control language and thus control women. Male hate speech against women poisons every aspect of women’s lives. Hate in language translates into hate in behaviour. When hate is condoned or written off or normalized, women suffer. Do you want to be interviewed by some man who sees you as a bitch and a cunt and masturbates to violent rape-porn? Do you think he compartmentalizes? No one is capable of separating the messages they internalize from how they treat others around them. And the fact that the hate is escalating, as evidenced in the language we hear and use, is very worrisome for women, indeed. It is a very big deal.
What’s on TV?
Media and entertainment are important propaganda machines existing under the guise of relaxing fun-times. People are much more likely to absorb messages, if they are delivered with humour or drama.
I was just watching a British television show that had been recommended to me by one of my more advanced Chinese university students interested in socio-technology (or techno-sociology, you pick). In the very first episode, the man who is playing the Prime Minister calls one of his white female employees a ‘stupid bitch’ and then proceeds to try to strangle her and then punches her in the face in front of a male employee. And I thought American entertainment was bad. Nope, woman-hate comes from all countries, all races, all religions, all ages. Some of my weirdest memories of blatant sexism during my childhood hetero-bitch programming years came from horrible British television (The Benny Hill Show, anyone?). But they are not alone.
On the American side of things, in the 2017 season of Veep, a political comedy starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus (whom I enjoy as an actress, but who saddens me in this role), was an episode entitled “C–tgate”. The episode partially revolved around the female president trying to figure out which of her staff had called her a ‘cunt’. In 28 minutes, the word cunt – probably the worst, most demeaning, single-word slur in today’s usage and possibly in the history of slurs – is used 15 times. Note that never once in the 6 seasons of this show has the slur ‘nigger’ been used, nor any other racial slur. Liberal, or conservative for that matter, television doesn’t use the big bad, notorious, racial slurs. Never once is the Chinese-American presidential candidate ever referred to as a ‘chink’. Never once is the Mexican-American woman who eventually becomes president ever referred to as a ‘spic’ (or even a bitch or cunt, for that matter). Cunt and bitch are words to use against women, primarily, but not exclusively, white women. And it is hard to imagine an entire television series devoted to a bumbling black president who is constantly undermined and continually racially slurred. Can you imagine an entire episode called ‘N-rgate’? It would NEVER happen. On the rare occasion that a racial slur is used, it is to call attention to racism and to use it as a teaching point about respecting men and women of colour.
Go back a few years, and take the American series ‘Boston Public’ which followed the work and personal lives of a bunch of teachers working at an inner city high school in Boston. In the first season, the white female teacher is called bitch constantly by everyone, and a violent, racist, misogynist, black male student spray paints ‘bitch’ on her blackboard, calls her bitch in public and then SPITS DIRECTLY IN HER FACE, none of which he is held accountable for. But the woman – the actual victim – is called racist, of course, and she spends the rest of the series feeling white guilt and accepting abuse and slurs from all the black characters as well as the white males on the show. Misogyny, which is more common on that program, is never addressed as a ‘teaching point’. It is just what women should accept. And white women are expected to accept abuse for what white men have done in past generations. THAT is the teaching point. Men are violent. Women pay the price so that men can continue enjoying the good things in life.
If you want to get your ‘bitch’ on in an older, but immensely popular series, watch the 15 seasons of ER like I did during a short, but intense period of boredom and misogyny research this summer. It was brutal. I don’t think I’ve heard the slur, ‘bitch’, used so frequently in a television series. Interestingly, there was only 1 official racial slur used in the entire 15 years of programming. A white supremacist used a Latino slur ONE TIME. For jokes, everyone was fair game, but the bulk of the jokes were about women, then gays, and a few racial jokes tossed in here and there. There was a shit ton of sexual harassment as entertainment. If you think women don’t internalize this hate, you are dead wrong. Now that my own eyes are open to patriarchy and brutal misogyny, every time I hear slurs, rape jokes, and sexual harassment, it is a slap in the face. It blows my mind that every single girl grows up swimming in this shit. And most girls and women never understand why they hate themselves so much, why life seems so much more difficult than men’s. Why they have no confidence. Why depression and PTSD occur much more frequently in women than in men. Why they are afraid and feel like they need protection. The propaganda serves to weight the chains around our necks and bodies and primes us to accept abuse from all men around us, and even to call their hate ‘love’.
The Slurs and What Men Mean When They Use Them
A little while back, I wrote a post on where the bitch and the whore came from. Let’s explore a little further to find out what men mean when they use the most common slurs. Note that anti-woman slurs are often used to insult men. The men aren’t really being victimized – simply being called a woman is a bad thing. Even men who ‘love’ women hate to be called or compared to a woman. That’s love and respect, right?
Slut
Honestly, this isn’t a word that I have much connection to or use for. I don’t recall ever hearing the word used when I was in high school. Skank, yes. But I never heard the word slut used. My parents never used it either, despite their frequent use of colourful language. The word has supposedly been around since 1450 to, very basically, describe a woman who behaves exactly the way men always have and always will without consequences. It is the essential representation of sexual double standard. I’m not sure there is a another word that captures the double standard like ‘slut’ does. Use of the word has led to ostracism, poverty, rape, beatings, and death for millions of women across time. While men designed the word to hurt and control women, it has also been used to drive a really fucked up wedge between women by essentially putting them into categories of ‘good’ (marriage-rapeable) and ‘bad’ (prostitution-rapeable and the unmarried stranger-rapeable). The term has been applied by men even to ‘virtuous’ women out of revenge or sadism to serve the male agenda. And even women themselves have used the term against other women, sometimes out of jealously of a perceived, but false, freedom or power of another woman. The simple application of the term to a women has had, in the past, the power to destroy her life completely. You really can’t say that about any racial slur. No one has ever been destroyed by words quite like women have.
Sadly, when women embrace this word, it changes something in the brain’s logic centre. Women who see themselves as sluts, proud or not, suddenly don’t know what to do when they have been raped. Can a slut be raped??? What is rape? Does he have to hit me since I seem to fuck anyone who expresses interest? Am I allowed to say ‘no’ since I have embraced the word ‘yes’? There is no handbook for women trying to navigate the liberal male agenda.
Every once in a while, you hear the word applied to men. ‘Male slut’ pops up once in a while, but it really has no impact on men, their reputations, their relationships, their jobs, or anything. Men might even laugh if they hear it, and it is doubtful they would find it offensive. It is a clear demonstration of who holds the power when you cannot reverse the offense with the same negative outcome.
Personally, I don’t see any use for this word, even if redefined or attempts at reclamation are made. I think we focus too much entirely on sex and sexuality, and would love to see this word fade away because of lack of use rather than repurposing. But after nearly 600 years of use, that ain’t gonna happen any time soon.
Whore
Prostitute is a rather recent and slightly more narrow term for a woman who sells her body to men. ‘Whore’ has been around in several languages (e.g., hore, hora, hoer, huora) for centuries (likely 16th century) to describe prostitutes, sluts, and women with very apparent sexual desires. The shortened ‘ho’, most likely from black American male slang, has been popularized as a way to refer to women, in general. It is most often applied today in the way that slut is. You also sometimes get constructions used to insult men, such as ‘son of a whore’. It’s actually still an insult to women, but men love playing the victim whenever they can.
Bitch
This slur is used so often, I’m beginning to think it is a new replacement term for ‘woman’. In fact, I think the trannie dudes have taken over the word woman, and actual women have now become ‘bitches’. Black American men did a great deal of damage in repopularizing the word as a slur to use against women (circa 1990’s).
Bitch has a lot of usages. You can call anyone a bitch, yet it is still an insult to women. The term comes from female breeding dog and it was specifically used to insult women, dehumanize, and to designate one of her few allowed roles. Today, it can mean:
- woman or girl, in general
- woman or girl you don’t like or have anger towards
- a woman or girl who has stood up to a man and pointed out his privilege, unethical dealings, crimes, etc
- a woman or girl who is confident and does something that a man or boy might do but would not be insulted for, or even would be commended for
- a female boss, or woman in any kind of position of power
- someone forced to do your bidding and who will remain under your control
- (in prison) a weak male who will be forced to submit to sexual assault
- a man who displays emotion and who makes other men (and sometimes women) uncomfortable (e.g., “Stop crying like a bitch.”)
- ‘son of a bitch’ – used on men to mean something like asshole, it is still a slur on women above all else
- (verb) to complain – the implication is that women complain and should not, even if it is warranted
- ‘bitch slap’ – physical abuse to be used by men on a woman who is not acting the way he wants her to
- a thing you don’t like (e.g., “That was a bitch of an exam.”)
Cunt
Probably the worst thing you can call a woman. It is not as popular (yet) as bitch, but it is on the rise. It is an abusive slang for vagina, but when used as a slur, it has similar meanings to that of bitch. It is generally not used on men as a female slur, however. Less commonly, it can be used to describe a situation that isn’t liked (a cunt of a meeting). The British and a few of their colonies unfortunately use the word, but in a non-negative way to refer to one of their dude-bros, as they might use ‘mate’ or to a random dude.
As mentioned above, the American series, Veep, will likely have a normalizing effect on this slur, thanks to devoting an entire ‘humourous’ episode to calling their first female president ‘cunt’ over and over and over and over…
Like a Girl
If a girl or woman is behaving naturally, then there is nothing wrong with what she is doing. There is nothing wrong with how girls run, throw, speak, walk, think, etc. If they are acting naturally (i.e., not gender-programmed into looking stupid or under-performing or trying to be ‘sexy’), then their actions will be efficient and effective. With behaviours that require skill, both boys and girls might perform poorly without training. The thing is that more effort is put into training boys. When equally trained, both boys and girls are effective. So the insult to males about performing like a girl is more about the very female-hate that prevents girls and women from being trained or even accepted as different than male people than any kind of natural ineptness. It also highlights the universal insistence that male performance is the default and thus the correct way, even if it isn’t correct at all.
Note that many of the ‘like a girl’ or ‘like a woman’ insults are actually projections. For example, ‘stop crying like a little girl’ (or screaming or tantrumming) doesn’t make sense because boys cry as much, if not more than girls. They also throw bigger tantrums and make more fucking noise than any girl I’ve ever encountered anywhere on the planet. And plenty of other claims like failing to use logic, or being bad at math – all of these are projections as well. Women tend to be better at logic than men and are equally good, if not better at math.
Body Parts and Animals
Female slurs are the worst in the world simply because women tend to be dehumanized more than any other group. They are reduced to their body parts, and they are referred to as animals. It is how women are treated both verbally and non-verbally in daily life and the workplace and in marriage, and it is how women are represented in language. Women are referred to: ‘a pair of tits’, ‘tits and ass’, ‘broad’, ‘cunt’, ‘pussy’, ‘fish’, ‘twat’, ‘legs’, ‘sugartits’, ‘piece of ass’, ‘cow’, ‘bitch’, ‘sow’, ‘heifer’, ‘filly’, and much more.
Black Men Succeeded
Some time ago, black men reclaimed the term ‘nigger’ and made it their own. The slur, rooted in Latin, Spanish and French from the word for ‘black’, lived for a short spell in a limited geographical region as a negative term for black people. It is no longer accepted or acceptable for use in public or in entertainment. It tends to be used only when a racist character is portrayed or when black dudebros are talking to each other. I won’t attempt to explain who gets to use it, or how, or why, or in which circumstances. I’m not a black dood, and mostly, I don’t really care about the intricacies of what men do to and with each other. All I can say here is that black men successfully got ‘nigger’ removed from the entire Western consciousness except as a term with punch-in-the-gut impact and out of mainstream derogatory use, with the support of the liberal white community. That speaks of some pretty serious social, legal, and political power. You can’t claim you lack power or status if you are able to get a slur thrown out of the public consciousness and usage. I mean, seriously, do you truly understand the implication of this? Controlling language is the ultimate evidence of power. But we’re talking about men here. And likewise, there isn’t a single racial or ethnic group that hasn’t succeeded in getting racial or ethnic slurs put on the chopping block – in Western cultures. But those groups contain men, and all men have power. Women of these groups benefited as well, which is probably part of why women of colour seldom side with white sisters under feminism. On some level, they understand they’ll achieve more power hitching a ride with men, even if those same men are making their lives miserable, acknowledged or not. White woman have no power, and neither do women of any other race, so gravitating to male people makes sense to those who don’t think, won’t think, or can’t think in more than a limited, short-term, very concrete way. If women could get over cock and band together, they’d be a force to be reckoned with in their discovery that unified female power can conquer anything and is a long-term solution to rape and the threat of rape. Why do you think hetero-brainwashing is so intense…?
So we come back to the question: is it even possible for women to eradicate female slurs from public usage and consciousness in the way that all racial and ethnic slurs have been tarnished and banned? Women are universally hated and feared – even by themselves! What would have to occur to instill the same cringe factor into even hearing (nevermind using) the words bitch, slut, whore or cunt to take down a woman? As it is, hearing or using those words generally brings power to the user, and I would argue, a feeling of smug satisfaction at denigrating a woman who is the recipient of those slurs. I would further argue that the power and satisfaction are even greater if they are hurled at or heard directed at a white woman.
But let’s get one thing straight. There are more slurs directed at women than any other group in history. And the slurs against women have a longer history than any racial/ethnic slur. Further, slurs against women have carried more damage to women than any racial/ethnic slur has ever had on a racial/ethnic group member. And another thing, all slurs – racial, sexual, religious, anti-gay – were designed and defined by men, the controllers of language. Not women. The origins of all harm lie in men. Use of slurs can bring satisfaction to women, but they benefit men most of all by their continued use.
Possible Solutions?
1) Eliminating Usage of all Slurs and Offensive References
As I said, those who control language hold the power. To be able to change an entire culture’s treatment of your group speaks of massive social, legal, and political power. It is actually quite impressive and astounding how completely racial and religious slurs have been completely removed from English-language entertainment and public usage. I’m so often puzzled at those anti-racism warriors who speak of their lack of power. They live in far-off decades or centuries, methinks. They haven’t performed a modern-day reality check and taken a look at who really has power. And just as important, who really doesn’t. Women of all colours are the powerless. And so many of those ‘oppressed’ men hold massive power over women of all colours. They are often some of the worst perpetrators. How could women possibly go about removing from public and common usage an entire vocabulary of hate that is larger than that any other oppressed group has ever been attacked with? I suspect it is not possible. No group of women has ever had the political, legal, economic, or social power to control language, let alone achieve basic human rights. And I doubt they ever will as long as women keep sleeping with men – those creatures who slur them, demean them and hurt them in the name of love.
2) Criminalizing Usage of Slurs and Offensive References
Men tend to get their pubes in a twist when women even hint at criminalizing male bad behaviour. The idea of women defending themselves and forcing men to be held accountable for their actions is taken as some kind of irrational attack on male ‘rights’. All men believe they have the right to rape, demean, threaten, slur, harass, molest, objectify, and kill women and girls without anyone batting an eye, and to live freely to do it all again the next day. Actual cops have been known to admit that if they prosecuted men for all the horrible things they do to women, most if not all men would be in jail. Racial, anti-gay, and anti-religious crimes are easier to deal with as they are much less common, because men belong to those groups, because these groups are ALLOWED to live separate from oppressors, and because men fight back, while women don’t (and aren’t allowed to anyway). Crimes against women happen all day, every day, to all women. They are so frequent that even the victims accept their victimization as ‘just another day’ or ‘business as usual’ and trudge on burdened by fear, depression, PTSD, and other psychological problems that manifest as pain and debilitating disease. And while sticks and stones break bones, language is still the most powerful weapon out there, able to dehumanize and demoralize. If language didn’t have power, hate speech would never have been created to protect the religious, the non-white, and gay males. As it is, women will never succeed in achieving enough power or respect to warrant protected legal status with regard to hate speech, let alone bodily autonomy.
3) Redefining the Offending Words
I think it is safe to say that anti-woman language isn’t going anywhere. I’m curious to see whether women can achieve what the all-powerful black man has achieved: to take possession of offensive language, redefine it and keep it within their own group, likely to eventually fade away with increasing educational opportunities. To successfully take control of lady-slurs, we’d have to do something to the language to give it the cringe-factor that, say, the word ‘nigger’ produces in all people. For women, this is a near impossible thing to achieve, I believe.
Slut: A small, but vocal, contingent of liberal, white women in Western countries (and the men whose dicks they suck) has tried, but failed, to reclaim the word. While their basic premise is correct – women should not be judged differently from men when it comes to how many or few partners they have – the way they have gone about it has served to hurt white women (not women of colour – white women) and to keep the liberal male agenda securely in place and with more ammunition. You see liberal men, who also want to control women, have told us that our freedom lies in fucking as many of them as possible, and for free!!! The shame lies not in eschewing virtue, but in withholding our pussies from the world, from being prudes! And this small group of young, brainwashed, white women has enthusiastically swallowed this self-serving male agenda and proudly call themselves sluts. And by embracing this male philosophy, men can say that ‘well, women don’t seem to have a problem with the label, so I guess it’s okay, yuk yuk yuk.” Notice that more men will support a slut walk than an anti-pornography protest, and the reason is that a slut walk is as pro-male as the very problem these women think they are fighting, while the latter protest is pro-woman, anti-slavery, anti-violence and at its very core, feminist. I’m not sure that this slur can be repurposed as it cannot be separated from it’s original meaning and to do that, you’d have to end heterosexuality, which would effectively render the slur meaningless and it thus wouldn’t require reclamation.
Whore: Like the word ‘nazi’, this word has become overused and misused through people’s ignorance, rather than effectively repurposed or redefined. ‘Whoring’ yourself in order to get ahead at a traditional job just sounds wrong, and smacks of ignorance and dismissiveness of the sexual slavery women have had to endure since time began. The slanging of the word, thanks to black American men, into ‘ho’, has not helped women at all, but rather, increased its casual, demeaning usage in everyday life. The word, like ‘slut’, was created specifically to hurt women through classification and shaming. I’m not sure that it can be redefined. And when men make demeaning changes or redefinitions to words designed to slur women, it achieves nothing for women. Often quite the opposite.
Bitch: This word wasn’t originally created to slur women, so there may be hope there. There has been some redefinition by women that I would argue isn’t that effective. Calling oneself a ‘bitch’ in a proud sort of way has sometimes come to mean ‘badass’. [Here is a prime example of this usage – skip down half-way through.] I can’t imagine calling myself a bitch in order to convey bravery or guts. Whenever I hear a women use that term to describe herself, there is this weird implication of sluttiness or sexiness that goes with it that is really repulsive. I think it is also a bad idea to retain the word ‘bitch’ to describe a woman who stands up to men because it can still be used by men easily to slur women for behaving normally (i.e., unprogrammed).
I think a good repurposing or redefining of a slur should have at its goal, the fading out of its usage. It should have a definition that men don’t really understand as it isn’t connected to them in a simple and concrete way. If they don’t understand it, they will be less likely to use it (one hopes). And it should also feel bad to women if they use it to describe themselves. It shouldn’t be a source of pride.
The way I understand a bitch (I have redefined it for my own understanding) is as a woman who serves men and male agenda, and who hurts women. The former is actually one of the less common male definitions (a submissive object), but what should be stressed is that a bitch hurts women. These are the women who ditch their female friends for the boyfriend or husband. Women who give birth to sons and make sure they grow up to know their privilege. Women who feminize themselves and their daughters. Women who support marriage. Women who blame and/or don’t believe rape victims. Women who oppose lesbians and asexuals. Women who hate the feminists who fight for their rights. These are bitches.
Most women don’t really think about how they treat other women. They probably can’t articulate that they hate their sisters – except for those clueless, but dangerous, women who say ‘most of my friends are male, and I’ve never really gotten along with women – but they are trained to do so from birth, despite it being a completely unnatural thing. I really believe that if women were made aware of their woman-hate, they would be shocked and might be motivated to self-examine and to change their outlook on sisterhood.
Cunt: This word is much less used than bitch, but it is on the rise. I think it can be repurposed in the same way that bitch can. It is a more extreme version of bitch. A cunt is a woman to purposely tries to hurt other women and girls. A cunt is a mother who abuses her daughter. A woman who turns a blind eye to a daughter-molesting husband, boyfriend or relative deliberately or in willful blindness. A woman who defends a rapist son or family member and heaps blame upon his victims. A woman who holds a girl down while her clitoris is cut off in the name of Allah. A woman who calls herself a feminist, and then in her personal definition of ‘woman’, commits ideological genocide when she tells us only women of colour are women because the percentage of white women in the world ‘isn’t large enough’ (try using that argument with Native Americans when defining ‘person’ or ‘human’ – their percentages are lower than that of white women). Women who physically attack the women their husbands are cheating with instead of getting rid of the husband. These are cunts. Is there any help for these women? Unlike bitches, they are likely aware of their actions and their actions are often deliberate and cruel. There is no excuse for hurting another woman unless she is physically trying to kill you. And I believe in holding attackers accountable. Change has to happen in the language and cognitive processes of all women first. Perhaps, if women become more self-aware, we can eliminate newly-defined words altogether. But really, who knows if women can ever transcend male hate and the internalized woman-hate they are inundated with from birth.
4) Juxtaposition as a Tool to Highlight Misogyny
This is especially relevant for media and entertainment, but can be used in every day conversation. Now, this one would be hard to implement in media simply because it opposes the male and liberal agenda, and thus won’t be allowed to happen. Women don’t run media or entertainment outlets for the most part, and those few that do tend to be liberal and completely on board with male-defined ‘female freedom’ policies. Implementing this experiment in daily life would prove hard and would likely get women killed because misogyny is an accepted part of how the world runs. But just to explore the possibilities, here goes.
For every anti-woman slur or reference made, a racist slur or comment or violence against men must also be made. So when you hear “run like a girl”, which is a nasty way of putting a male down by calling him some sort of subhuman, you must also use “run like a chink”. Or, for example, when the black male character says to the white female police officer, “hey, bitch cop”, she can respond with “hey, nigger rapist” and then shoot him in the head. The anti-black slurs are probably the best to use because blacks have been the most successful oppressed group in gaining political, legal and social power. Slurs against them will stand out immediately in juxtaposition to every anti-woman slur that is used. Where no racial slurs can be used, violence against men can be used. For example, a slur against a woman is used, and a man or boy gets kicked in the head or balls. The point of this exercise is to pair every denigration of women with denigration of a highly respected group (racial, religious, male) to question the necessity of the anti-woman material.
The big risk here is that people are too stupid to get it. Non-whites are respected infinitely more than women and girls. All races and cultures hate women and girls and embrace patriarchy and misogyny. All cultures have only flourished by enslaving females, forcing heterosexuality, and making sure that female persons learn very early in life to hate themselves and to accept abuse. To use racist slurs (or religious slurs or violence against men/boys) to highlight the frequency of anti-woman slurs may not work because stupid people or willfully blind liberal people would likely see the contrast as evidence of racism, anti-semitism or ‘islamophobia’ or ‘manhating’ rather than a highlighting of how much women are hated. Never underestimate how stupid and/or ignorant people are.
Conclusion
Will women ever control language or, at the very least, have enough power to stop male abuse of language and subsequent control of women’s lives?
Upon a great deal of consideration, I conclude that it will never happen as long as women accept and practise heterosexuality. You can’t be pro-women and sleep with the enemy. And if you need evidence, look at how every other oppressed group on the planet has broken free of their circumstances. They don’t live with, sleep with and fuck their oppressor, have their children, coddle their feelings, and support their policies. It really is that simple.
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Street Corner Diorama
Stuck in my mind is a moment in time, a fragment of space, from my recent visit to Seattle. In one tiny slice of time and place that spoke volumes about society at large. And it all happened on a street corner in the downtown core, and if one was paying attention, one might spend some time wondering about the nature of racism and misogyny. But most people don’t pay attention, and things go on as they do, in perpetual violence.
I approached a street corner one afternoon. There was a tall, belligerent-looking black dude on the corner. He began shouting at a short, middle-aged Chinese man. I saw exactly what was going on. It was a Chinese tourist. How did I know? Well, said Chinese dude was acting, not like a Westernized Chinese, but like every Chinese dude acts in China when face-to-face with a non-Chinese. He stopped and was staring rudely, mouth open, disgust and horror on his face. It is a look and behaviour that mainland Chinese call “curiosity”. I know the look well because I get it from tens, hundreds, and thousands (depending on how long I am in public) every single time I set foot outside my apartment as a walking, talking white whore living in China. But the black dude couldn’t handle it – this one, lone, ignorant Chinese fucker got under his angry skin. On a level, I get it. I fucking HATE the way Chinese stare at me. In the US and the semi-civilized West, in general, staring is rude. Staring at someone without a hello or some sort of verbal engagement that expresses one’s intentions is immediate cause for suspicion, fear (for women), anger, and if done to a man, can often lead to a physical altercation. But the Chinese make staring into another thing altogether – although they believe in masking emotion, they have no problem expressing naked hatred, horror and disgust on their faces. The Chinese are one of the most racist groups on earth, so this particular Chinese tourist didn’t think twice about engaging in a typical Chinese behaviour used against non-Chinese while in China where he is used to having the upper hand. Welcome to America, though. The black dude, confronted by a racist Chinese, retaliated with his racism. Blacks are also racists, and their brand of racism often manifests in loudness, belligerence and violence. He yelled, “What the fuck you lookin’ at, Chinaman?!? Chinatown is that way!” And he pointed south, which indeed, was where Chinatown was located. The Chinese racist was lucky that the black racist didn’t knock him flat on his ass. I moved on before getting stuck in the action. I just don’t give a shit what men do to each other and I hate it when women get caught in the middle.
But I thought about inviting that black dude to China where he could learn what real racism was. He would see how good his life is in the US. Where his growing power and violence and outrage (at comparatively little) and his privilege over all women are supported by liberal whites and violent, racist movements like Black Lives Matter. I’d like to invite him to China where, like me, he would truly have no voice, where every single person would stare at him, point at him, talk about him in front of him, and ostracize him, and where his life and/or death wouldn’t matter one bit. He wouldn’t make it. If he can’t handle one racist Chinese dude on his home turf, then he wouldn’t make it in a racist country where he is all alone battling shit like this every moment of every day. I know one black dude over here who refuses to take public transit, opting instead for taxis and Ubers. Coward. And no, he doesn’t have it worse than me. He has friends from his own country and religion to support him as a buffer. He is a male. I am alone and a woman and I battle the ‘white whore’ stereotype, and thus I am in more danger than him. But I take public transit. I’m harassed by men constantly, and women treat me like shit. It is racist sexism. It hurts me and scares me deeply. I deal by putting on the emotional armour I have crafted through a lifetime of sexual assault and sexual harassment and through years of Chinese racist misogyny. I put on the armour and the rage wells up in me to keep me moving quickly, and that protects me a little. So black dude? Come on over and learn what real racism is about.
Back to the corner. Shit didn’t end there. I avoided that inter-racial confrontation and moved on to the corner to cross the road. Steps away, I was aware of a landmark strip club selling female flesh. Thousands walk by it every day. Hundreds of men visit every day engaging in what they will loudly proclaim is their right. Their right to objectify female bodies. Their capitalist right to pay desperate women to take their clothes off along with their human dignity. Stripping: something women would never think of doing if men did not exist or if men hadn’t created an economic system that benefits men and puts women in positions where they have to shed their humanity in order to eat or ‘have a better life’. A system where there is no equivalent dehumanizing, disempowering requirement for men. Selling women is a legitimate part of human life. I walk by these places and they fulfill their ultimate purpose: to remind me that I am less. To remind me that I can never be free. To remind me that woman is simply a collection of CUNT, TITS, and ASS. No more, no less. To remind me that men can turn whatever evil desire they have into a sanctioned need and right, no matter whom it hurts or how many it hurts. A male itch must be scratched, no matter the cost.
At the street corner, I and several women were forced to stop and wait for the long light to change to green. At that corner sat a black man. Probably homeless. He had a sign.
Will eat pussy for a place to sleep.
I’d not seen a sign like that before. Western homeless men, unlike homeless men around the world, are becoming more creative in their ploys. It’s a competitive market. In the male economic system, poverty is on the rise. Men, being lazier than women, tend to hang out in public begging. Being homeless is much more dangerous for women, and I suspect that women engage in a number of behaviours in order to avoid being conspicuous public targets. I don’t tend to see homeless women with signs offering weird services or making amusing and direct demands for money (e.g., please donate to my weed habit).
So coming upon a man offering to perform a selfless sexual act upon a woman was strange. I think it was supposed to be funny. It wasn’t. Unlike a woman offering a blow job, men offering a sex act is threatening. That is a hard thing for men (and many brainwashed women) to understand. Men are not victims of sex crimes by women, generally speaking. Women are. Men also define sex and direct the course of sexual activity. There isn’t a single man on earth who offers a carpet munch without taking something in exchange from a woman. Doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as a fair exchange, let alone a selfless act when it comes to male behaviour. The offer of a sex act *just for a place to sleep* doesn’t ring true to me and came across as a promise/threat of other things. A woman offering a blow job for a place to sleep is likely going to get raped, beaten or killed afterwards. The man offering pussy-eating will likely take more than he is offering.
A few of the middle-aged women on the corner chuckled nervously. I was disgusted and afraid. And the fact that he was parked so near to the female flesh-selling strip club just served to hammer home who exactly held the power. Even a homeless man holds power over a non-homeless woman.
It was just a moment in time on a small spot of real estate, but there was generalization in this diorama. It spoke of universal truths. Men and racism; men and misogyny. Who holds the power. What dynamics the world at large is willing to pay attention to. I suspect, among the American population witnessing that scene, that all people would have seen were sympathy-deserving black men in need of understanding and help. But in reality, what was going on was male power play. The complicated racism that exists between men that derives from woman hate (controlling access to the pussy of one’s own race). And the truth that all men hold power over all women regardless of race and economic station.
I discuss the realities of oppression and how it works in an earlier article.
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Story Ending Never 
M is for Manvasion
Sep 16
Posted by storyending
This post is part of the ongoing Alphabet Series. Listen along to my recording on YouTube and/or read the article below ♥♀
In the name of the alphabet and the power that it conveys, I am merging and manipulating a couple of long-ago-written posts into something for the ongoing series. I wrote a single M-post last year – M is for Mother – and it was very nicely read for a YouTube audience by a fellow Canadian a few months ago. And I’ve got a few more M-posts coming over the next few weeks, so stay tuned for that.
Today, I’m talking about war, well, the daily battle that constitutes existing in a world where women-only space, even of the electronic variety, is not allowed.
M is for Manvasion: yes, I know. It’s a made-up word, but it works well here.
I’ve hung out on different online forums at different times, very often as a lurker. I don’t often participate because what’s the point? Most places are run by men and heavily populated by men and their female acolytes. You either get censored, ignored or attacked when you comment as a non-handmaiden. Pointless to waste your energy.
One thing you will find, however, no matter which forum you find yourself on, is that if there is a woman-only space or a woman-pertinent topic, males will come and jizz all over it. And no matter where they are from or what age they are, they are all exactly the same. It is a bit eerie actually, but as a result, they are completely predictable. I’m trying to figure out whether all males share a mind or whether they are all given a handbook at birth: “How to derail a discussion group of women in the most male way possible in 10 easy steps”. I’m going to ignore the Neanderthal infiltrator. He is the guy who just stomps in and announces, with poor grammar and a ton of misspellings, that all women are bitches or that women are destroying men somehow. And then he just waits for women to freak out (which they usually don’t because they’ve encountered this asshole a million times before). No, today, I’m focusing on the guy who saunters in and attempts a dialogue. There are a million of these guys too, but they are often a little more successful at derailing women. Here’s how it always goes:
And as a close, note that I have lurked on blogs and forums representing other special interest groups, and you don’t see this level of infiltration and sense of entitlement by members that wouldn’t normally be included in that group. This seems only to apply to women as a class, especially feminists, lesbians and other hard-to-control females.
It is up to you to decide why all these guys sound the same. This is not a war that can be won as long as women willingly mix with men. The rules are set by men to benefit men, and in their minds, consenting to one boundary invasion is blanket consent for the erasure of all boundaries. There is only prevention and damage control, and the only thing I know for certain is that unless you are prepared to do serious battle, it is just best not to respond to them. They hate it and will go away faster. They’ll be back, maybe with a different name, but the damage and waste will be less for you.
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Posted in Feminism, Male Privilege, Online Hate, The Alphabet Series
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